Last week I was rereading C. S. Lewis’s Screwtape Letters.
Keller often said Lewis and Jonathan Edwards were his mentors. When I came across this, I realized this is where Keller got his inspiration for self-forgetfulness. Here, Screwtape is advising Wormwood, his apprentice on earth, how to deceive his “patient,” who is a new Christian:
You must conceal from the patient the true end of Humility. Let him think of it not as self-forgetfulness but as a certain kind of opinion (namely, a low opinion) of his own talents and characteristics. Fix in his mind the idea that humility consists in trying to believe those talents to be less valuable than he believes them to be. No doubt they are in fact less valuable than he believes they are, but that is not the point. ..Our Enemy [God] wants to turn the man’s attention away from self to Him, and from one’s neighbors.
This weekend my dear little friend Maggie stopped by – I told her story here recently. She is so endeavoring to live out self-forgetfulness by focusing on Christ. I should have snapped a picture of her! She was wearing a hat that said, “May I become less so He may become greater.” She was wearing a bracelet that said “Pray without Ceasing,” and a necklace with one word: “Abide.” She is so focused on Christ!
Maggie told me that the new thing she is trying to practice when she comes into a room is not:
HERE I AM!
but
HERE YOU ARE!
BLESSED SELF-FORGETFULNESS
One more thing — and would love your thoughts on this: Here’s link too as Sharon said video didn’t work for her:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZtjsFYOgqM&t=22s
I WILL PUT THE TRANSCRIPT IN — AND HERE IS THE LINK TO THE SERMON. HE IS SUCH A GOOD SPEAKER, PLEASE LISTEN EITHER AS YOU READ OR SEPARATELY.
SUNDAY:
- How did you experience the goodness of God this week? And, any comments on any of the above?
MONDAY: THE TEXTS
2. Read 1 Corinthians 4:1-4 as a review and share how this attitude and belief could aid self-forgetfulness.
3. Read 1 Timothy 1:16-17 as a review and share how this focus could aid self-forgetfulness.
4. Read Mark 14:1-9
A. Describe what is happening.
B. How is Mary of Bethany self-forgetful?
C. How does Jesus exalt her — and what does this imply she understood?
TUESDAY: How The World Solves The Problem
LISTEN AND READ:
What he does is he says, “Let me show you how I do it.” In verses 3 and 4, we have Paul giving us an example of how, now that he understands the gospel, his own sense of self works, how his own self-regard operates, how his own identity works, and how his own ego, in a sense, works. Here’s what he does. First of all, he says, “Yes, I’m a minister, and I have a job to do,” in verses 1 and 2. With regard to it, he says in verse 3, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court …” In other words, do you see what he’s saying? “I don’t care if I’m judged by you or by any human court.” The word judge is a word for verdict. It’s a thing, by the way, that Madonna is looking for. What he does is he looks out, and he says, “One thing I want you to know is I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t care what anybody thinks about me.” He doesn’t just say, “I care little if I’m judged by you or by any human body. I have come to the place where my identity owes nothing to what people say. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what anybody thinks. My identity, my self-regard is not tied in anyway to your verdict and your evaluation of me.” A lot of us say, “Okay, that sounds great. He doesn’t seem to be suffering from low self-esteem.” No, he isn’t. How do you get there? How do you get to the place where what people think about you doesn’t control you anymore? Almost everybody would say it’s very obvious. Every counselor I know practically, if they met somebody who was too controlled by what other people thought and so on, here’s what they would say. They would say, “Oh, it shouldn’t matter what other people think of you. You shouldn’t be living according to what they say. You shouldn’t be living according to their standards. It shouldn’t matter what they think about you. What should only matter is what you think about you. It shouldn’t matter what their standards are. It should only matter what your standards are. Choose your own standards. Decide who you want to be and then be it. It just matters what you think about yourself.” Is that what Paul does? No. In other words, we in our modern world do not know how to deal with low self-esteem without basically remedying it with high self-esteem, with saying, “You need to see you’re a great person. You need to see how wonderful you are. Look at all the great things you’ve accomplished. Look at all the wonderful things. You just have to not worry about what other people think about you. You set your own standards, you accomplish them, and then you evaluate yourself.”
5. How do worldly counselors advise someone with low self-esteem? Why doesn’t this work?
(In another sermon, Benediction, Tim Keller tells of a scene from Bridget Jones where she is confused when she is told that all that matters is what she thinks of herself. She says, “What, that can be right! I don’t like myself!”)
6. What else stands out to you from the above?
WEDNESDAY: NOT PUFFED UP BUT FILLED UP
Paul says, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court …” Then what does he say? “… indeed, I do not even judge myself.” Let me paraphrase this. Paul says, “I don’t care what you think, but I don’t care what I think. I have a very low opinion of your opinion of me, but I also have a very low opinion of my opinion of me.” Look carefully what he says here. He says, “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent.” He will not fall into the trap of high self-esteem. He will not. He says, “Just because my conscience is clear, maybe my conscience is clear, but that doesn’t mean I’m innocent.” Hitler might have had a clear conscience. That didn’t mean he was innocent. It’s a trap to say, “It doesn’t matter what other people think. Don’t worry about their standards. You just set your own standards.” That’s an answer? I feel terrible when I cannot live up to my parents’ standards. I feel terrible when I can’t live up to your standards. I feel terrible when I can’t live up to the culture’s standards. I feel terrible when I can’t live up to other standards. Now the solution is I set my own standards. I feel terrible when I don’t live up to my standards unless I have incredibly low standards. Is that a solution? Then I feel horrible because I said, “I’m the kind of person who has low standards.” Paul is not biting, and yet when he says, “I not only don’t care what you think, I am not looking to you for my identity, and I’m not looking to you for the verdict that Madonna is looking for, that I’m somebody. I don’t get it from you, but I don’t get it from me.” Here is what he’s doing. He is moving off of our map, friends. He’s moving into territory we don’t know anything about, because here’s what he’s doing. Some people think, “Oh, he has high self-esteem. He says his conscience doesn’t bother him. He says he doesn’t judge himself. Good, you shouldn’t condemn yourself,” but that’s not what the word judge means. The word judge here means a verdict whether positive or negative. Here’s what he’s saying. We know Paul is off our maps because we know Paul was a man with incredible ballast. I don’t think it’s so horrible. It would be hard to argue against this. He was one of the five, six, or seven most influential leaders in the history of the human race, one of the most influential people in history. He had enormous ballast. He had incredible confidence. He moved ahead. Nothing fazed him. Yet in 1 Timothy there’s a place where he says, “… Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.” Not, “I was chief,” “I am chief.” That is off of our maps. How can somebody have incredible confidence and say, “I’m one of the worst people”? How can somebody be absolutely honest and aware of all kinds of moral flaws yet have incredible poise and confidence? We can’t do that. Do you know why? Because we’re judging ourselves. When Paul says, “I don’t let you judge me. I don’t even judge me,” here’s what he means. He says, “I know about my sins, but I don’t connect them to me and my identity. They’re not connected. I don’t play that game. I don’t see a sin and then say, ‘Bad job, so I’m bad. Oh no, over here good job, so I’m good.’ ” He says, “I get rid of the ‘So I am.’ There’s no connection. I don’t play that game. I see all kinds of sins. I see all kinds of accomplishments, and they do not connect. That’s the reason why … Yeah, I’m one of the chief of sinners. That’s not going to stop me from doing the things I’m called to do.” We do not know anything about that. All we know is, “If I thought I was a bad person and I thought I was a sinner, if I thought I was filled with pride, if I thought I was filled with lust and I thought I was filled with anger and greed and all the things Paul says he’s filled with, I wouldn’t have any confidence.” No, because you’re judging yourself. You set your standards. Congratulations, and now you’re condemning yourself, because the ego will never be satisfied that way. Never. What Paul says is something astounding. “I don’t care what you think, and I don’t care what I think.” Paul is bringing us into new territory we don’t know anything about because Paul’s ego is not puffed up; it’s filled up. Here’s what he’s saying. This is why I almost hate to use the word humility because it’s not like anything you think of as humility or we think of in the world as humility. He is saying, “I have come to the place where my ego does not draw any more attention to itself than any other part of my body. I have come to the place where I’m not thinking about myself anymore. When I do something wrong, when I do something right, I don’t connect it anymore. I’m not thinking about myself.”
7. What is the main point from the above?
8. Why shouldn’t we care what others think of us, even what we think of ourselves?
THURSDAY: THE POWER OF THE GOSPEL TO BRING ABOUT SUPERNATURAL CHANGE
That’s why C.S. Lewis says in a fascinating little spot at the very end of his chapter on pride. He says, “Do not imagine that if you meet a truly humble person …” He’s talking about gospel humility. He’s talking about the kind of Christian humility we’re talking about here. He says something like, “Don’t imagine if you met a really humble person you would ever come away from him thinking he was humble. He will not be somebody who’s always telling you he’s a nobody,” because that’s actually a self-obsessed person. That’s a person who’s judging himself either up or down. It doesn’t matter. He says all you will remember from coming away from a truly humble person is how much he seemed to be totally interested in you, because the essence of gospel humility is not thinking more of yourself or thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less. It’s not needing to think about yourself. It’s not needing to connect things. Every conversation, “I’m in this room with these people. Does that make me look good? Do I want to be here?” I stop thinking about myself. The blessed rest of self-forgetfulness, an ego that’s not puffed up, but filled up. Do you know how unique this is? Let me show you. I’ll give you a couple of examples of this. In a way is this high self-esteem? No. Is this low self-esteem? No, certainly not, but it’s not high self-esteem. You stop the game. He just stops it. He says, “I don’t care about your opinion, but I don’t care that much about my opinion.” That’s the secret. Let me give you an example. One of the ways you can tell a really, truly gospel humble person … I know when I start to describe this person you’re going to say, “I’ve never met anybody like that including you.” All right, touché. Let me look at one mark of a truly humble person in this sense, a self-forgetful person, not a self-hating person, not a self-loving person so much, but a self-forgetful person, a person whose ego is like his or her toes. It just works. It doesn’t draw attention to itself. Here’s one little test. On the one hand, it would never be hurt that badly by criticism. It would not be devastating. It would not bother you. It would not keep you up late. Why? A person who is devastated by criticism, you’re putting too much stock in what other people think, other people’s opinion, but how does the world heal criticism devastation, thin-skinnedness? How does it heal being thin-skinned and being devastated by criticism? What you say to yourself is, “Who cares what those people think? I know what I think. Who cares what the rabble thinks? I know what I think about …” You either have people who are devastated by criticism or they’re not devastated by criticism, but they don’t take it. They don’t actually listen to it. They don’t learn from it because they say, “I don’t care about it. The reason it doesn’t devastate me is I know what I am. I know what I think. I know who I am.” In other words, we do not know how to heal low self-esteem except with pride, and they are both horrible nuisances to your own future and to everybody around you. A person who’s self-forgetful, a person whose ego is not puffed up but filled up, when you get criticism it wouldn’t devastate you, but you’d listen to it. You’d say, “Oh, criticism, an opportunity to change.” I don’t know anybody who does that, but at least the closer you get to understanding the gospel, as I’ll show you here in a second, the more you’d be like that. Friends, wouldn’t you want to be somebody who doesn’t need honor and isn’t afraid of it, doesn’t lust for recognition or, on the other hand, be just frightened to death of it? Don’t you want to be the kind of person who when you go by a window or a mirror or something, you don’t look and you don’t admire what you see and you don’t cringe either? Wouldn’t you want to be the kind of person who in your imaginary life you don’t sit around fantasizing about hitting self-esteem homeruns? “Oh, if I could do that! Oh, if I could do that!” Nor do you ever beat yourself up, do you ever sit around saying, “Boy, I was stupid. I was wrong. How could I have done something like that?” Wouldn’t you like to be free? Wouldn’t you like to be the skater who wins the silver and yet just be as excited about those three triple jumps the gold medal winner did? You just love it just the way you love a sunrise. You just love the fact that it was done. You don’t care that she did it. You don’t care if you did it. You’re just as happy that she did it as if you did it, because you’re just so happy to see it. You say, “I don’t know anybody like that.” That’s the possibility if you keep on going where Paul is going. You could actually start to enjoy things. They’re not about you. Your work is not about you. Your skating is not about you. Your romance is not about you. Your dating is not about you. You can actually enjoy things for what they are. They’re not just for your résumé. They’re not just to look good on your application. They’re not just a way of filling up the emptiness. Wouldn’t you want that? This is off the map. This is gospel humility, blessed self-forgetfulness, not thinking more of yourself like in modern cultures or thinking less of yourself like in traditional, regimented cultures. It’s thinking of yourself less.
9. What does Lewis say are the characteristics of a truly humble person?
10. Why might this person be happier than most?
11. What else stands out to you from the above and why?
Friday: The Verdict is In
How to get the transformed sense of self and identity How do you get it? How did Paul get it? He actually tells you. You have to read kind of closely, yet he does. He says, “First, I don’t care what you think. Secondly, I don’t care what I think. I don’t look to you for the verdict, and I don’t look to me for the verdict.” Then, instead if jumping too quickly, you have to read more carefully. He says, “My conscience is clear.” In other words, he’s saying, “Even if my conscience is clear, that does not make me innocent.” That’s what the translation says, but the word is that does not justify me. The word he uses is the word justified, the same word he uses all through Romans, the same word he uses all through Galatians. Here’s what he’s saying. He says what Madonna is looking for, what we’re all looking for, is an ultimate verdict that we’re important and that we’re valuable. Every time we think we’ve done it, it doesn’t seem to be there. What that means is the world … Every single day we go to trial. We’re in a courtroom every day. Do you notice how Paul says, “I don’t care about what you think about me or what any human court thinks”? That is odd. They’re not a court. The people he’s writing to aren’t a court. Why would he say, “I don’t care what you think or any human court”? He’s talking, I think, metaphorically. What he’s trying to say is the problem with self-esteem, high or low, the problem with the way almost everybody’s normal identity works is every single day you’re in the courtroom, you’re on trial, there’s prosecution, and there’s defense. Everything you do you’re stamping evidence for the prosecution, evidence for the defense. Some days you feel like you’re winning the trial, and some days you feel like you’re losing the trial. Paul says, “I have found the secret. The trial is over for me. I’m out of the courtroom. It’s gone. It’s over, because the ultimate verdict is in.” How could that be? He says it very simply. “You cannot justify me. I cannot justify myself.” What does he say? “It is the Lord who judges me.” His opinion only counts, and in Jesus Christ and only in the gospel of Jesus Christ do you get the verdict before the performance. Do you see this? Whether you’re an atheist … You say, “Well, I get my self-image from just being a very good person.” Fine. What you mean is, “If I’m a good person, eventually I hope for some kind of verdict that I’m a good person.” In other words, performance leads to the verdict. If you’re a Buddhist, performance leads to the verdict. If you’re a Muslim, performance leads to the verdict, which means every day you’re in the courtroom. Every day you’re on trial. That’s the problem. Paul says in Christianity the verdict leads to performance. The performance does not lead to the verdict. Christianity … The minute I believe, God says, “You are my beloved in whom I am well pleased.” The verdict is in. Now Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus …” “The verdict is in, and now I perform on the basis of the verdict. He loves me. He accepts me. Now I don’t have to do things just to build my résumé. I don’t have to do things to make me look good. I can do things to do things. I can help people to help people, not so I can feel better about myself, not so I can fill up the emptiness.”
Every other form of identity, would you say, “It’s going to make me have a sense of worth because I’m liberal or I’m a conservative. I’m a good person. I’m a free person. Whatever. I’m religious. I’m moral. Whatever”? It’s always the performance leads to the verdict, but the verdict is never there. It never comes. Madonna said so, and she ought to know. Madonna has done things you’re never going to do, and it’s still not enough. Madonna is more talented than anybody in this room. Madonna is gutsier than anybody in this room. She has done all kinds of stuff, and she says, “Guess what? I’ve gone way beyond anything you’ve ever done. The ultimate verdict I’m looking for has not come yet.” Christianity, instead of the performance leading to the verdict, which it never does, the verdict can lead to the performance. How could that be? Here’s the answer. Paul is out if the courtroom and Paul is out of the trial because Jesus went to trial, because Jesus went into the courtroom, because Jesus Christ became a lamb that was sheared, was like dumb before its shearers. He was struck in his trial, and it as a kangaroo trial. It was an unjust trial, and he was put to death. Why? As our substitute. He took the condemnation we deserved. He took the trial we deserved so we don’t have to have any more trial, so the minute I say, “Lord God, accept me because of what Jesus has done,” then the only person’s opinion who counts looks at me and finds me more valuable than all the jewels that are under the earth. How can you worry about being snubbed now? How can you worry about being ignored now? How can you care that much about what it looks like in the mirror? You say, “I wish I believed this.” Here’s the only thing I can say at the end. There are some people here who, hopefully, have never understood the difference between Christian identity and any other kind. They say, “You’re a Christian. That means you’re very good, you go to church, and you hope someday God will take you in.” No. The Christian identity operates totally differently than any other kind of identity. That’s the reason why it leads to this blessed self-forgetfulness. It takes you out of the courtroom. The trial is over. The verdict is in. Some of you have never seen that. Go find out what that means. Figure out the parts. I went fast. You say, “Why did Jesus have to die?” There’s a lot more to it. If you’re new, stay and keep coming till you understand the whole picture. There are a whole lot of others of you who say, “I believe everything you said, of course. I’ve been coming for years, and every day I find myself being sucked back into the courtroom, and I’m not living like Paul says. I’m not living the way Paul is. I’m getting sucked back in.” All I can tell you is you have to relive the gospel every time you pray, every time you come to church. You have to relive the gospel on the spot. You have to say, “What am I doing in this courtroom? Court is adjourned. I don’t care what you think. I don’t even care what I think. I only care what the Lord thinks, and he has said, ‘You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased.’ ” Live out of that. Let us pray. Give us what we need, Father, to develop this blessed self-forgetfulness. This is not really pride, of course, but it’s not even the kind of low self-esteem. It’s not high self-esteem. It’s so hard to even describe. We just ask that you would help us to pull it into our own lives and begin to practice it. Think of how different we would be. Think of how free we would be. Show us how we can make this more central. Show us how we can live out of it. Help us to be everything we can be in Jesus, in whose name we pray.
13. What does Keller mean when he says the verdict is in?
14. What is the difference between living to get a good verdict and living as a result of knowing the verdict is in and you are cleansed and loved?
15. What stands out to you from the above and why?
Saturday:
16. What is your take-a-way and why?
112 comments
1. How did you experience the goodness of God this week? And, any comments on any of the above?
My 8 year old Sheltie dog, had to have emergency surgery last Monday. Her gallbladder was about to rupture. A huge answer to prayer was that the ER vets were very familiar with this problem in Shelties and they did surgery immediately and saved her sweet life. The entire staff was lovely. They all loved Katie and gave her great care. She is home now and healing well. There were so many answers to prayer in all of this, from God prompting me to take her in, to all the right doctors and technicians being there at the perfect time, to my dear neighbor, Bethany, going with me for support. Thanking God for many, many miracles.
I love this Charlie Kirk video. He makes so many great points.
Our world is obsessed with self- glorification! So many conversations putting down someone, to elevate oneself. Oh, the enemy is working hard to point each of us to self. I need to Always keep my eyes on Jesus! He is the One whose opinion matters.
Someone I know, once made this comment: “ I cannot sleep some nights thinking of all the things people have done to me.” I found this frightening!! The opposite should be true! If we know the Lord and have the Holy Spirit, we should have sleepless nights if we have done something to hurt someone else.
Love these points:
a) Self esteem is a societal carcinogen – self love is damaging
b) Be dedicated to a higher calling (Jesus) – “service to others”
c) You are happier if you are focused on others.
d) Is the world a better place because you are in it?
e) What you do should dictate how you feel, not the reverse
f) Self control is more important than self esteem
BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING, PATTI.
Patti, so glad Katie came through the surgery and God worked everything out…they’re family after all!
Patti, So happy your sweet dog and companion was saved and is doing well.
And thank you for the clear recap of Charlie’s comments.
Your comment is so good:
“Oh, the enemy is working hard to point each of us to self. I need to Always keep my eyes on Jesus! He is the One whose opinion matters.”
So happy about Katie, Patti. And your neighbor, Bethany-what a blessing for you to have her for support.
What a strong statement from Charlie Kirk when he said self-esteem is a societal carcinogen. I thought of Narcissus in the Greek Mythology, how he fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water! Like Charlie said, self-love is damaging. These words were helpful to me in creating an awareness of how our society has insidiously aided in the pursuit of self-love to the detriment of our souls. On the other hand, self-forgetfulness is beautiful and freeing.
I have so felt the Lord’s presence this week — took a young Romanian man out to breakfast — he is so close to trusting Christ. He was giving me evidences for the resurrection! But he wants God to give him a dream like He does Muslims. Pray for Cristian.
Then this morning at our home church a young man staying in my airbnb came — such a beautiful young Christian man — reminded me of Charlie Kirk. He’s coming over for supper tonight.
And all of you are a blessing to me each day.
Oh, Dee! I am gettting chills reading your post! God is moving!🙏🙏 I will pray for Cristian. I will also pray for your time with your Airbnb guest tonight.
So glad you shared too Dee! Will be praying for Cristian!
Dee,
I love your story about your Airbnb guest. We have been Airbnb hosts for 12 years and we recently had guests who are believers. I was surprised to see them at our little church (we had not invited them and there are many churches in our city they could have atttended). We had such valuable conversation with those folks. Sometimes I recognize that our God has appointed certain guests for certain times in our humble Airbnb. It has often been moments of mutual encouragement.
Nila, What a sweet kiss from the King! Definitely an appointed time!
Praying for Christian.
Seeing God moving in the hearts of young believers is such encouragement.
Dee, so exciting to see these God-given opportunities for you!
2. Read 1 Corinthians 4:1-4 as a review and share how this attitude and belief could aid self-forgetfulness.
We are accountable to the Lord for our thoughts, words and treatment of others….and more. We are stewards of all the gifts that He has given to us. We do not always have good judgment, especially of our own actions. God is the only one qualified to judge us. We should be thinking of how pleasing our thoughts and words are to Him, not doing things to prop ourselves up. We are put here to serve; when we follow God’s leading to serve Him and others, not “self” we will thrive for His kingdom.
SUNDAY:
1. How did you experience the goodness of God this week?
I’m attending a Community Bible Study on Psalms, my first one. I have been praying that God would help me show myself friendly and maybe make a new friend. This last Thursday I sat down next to another lady in my group that has just moved here and we started talking. She told me that she has hosted many missionary families over the years and so I asked her where they were from. Her response was near Nairobi, Kenya, Rift Valley. I immediately said RVA (Rift Valley Academy)? And she said yes and I told her that I went to school there (small world) and asked her the names of the missionaries. I recognized the name but didn’t really know them. I shared that my parents were missionaries to the Congo. She then shared with me that she was debating returning to the Bible Study because no one had really talked to her and she didn’t feel welcomed and started to cry. She said because of me talking to her was an answer to her prayers and she would come back. I told her how I’d been praying and asked her for a hug. God never ceases to amaze me. 😊
And, any comments on any of the above?
I thought what Kirk had to say was very true. This stood out to me, “One of the reasons we have such a depressed generation, suicidal generation etc. is because they’re thinking about themselves.” So sad☹️. Patti summarized it so well and I do like what he said about self-control being much more important than self-esteem, but we do just the opposite.
I also love hearing about Maggie and her love for the Lord. I’m going to practice what she said she’s practicing as well…so good❤️
Oh how I love how the Lord brought two beautiful sisters with so much in common together. Excited to hear how this friendship grows.
I love this sweet story of meeting a new friend, Sharon! I love how God is always in the details too! RVA!
I agree that I am going to follow Maggie’s lead!🙏💕
Yes Sharon, God never ceases to amaze me too! 😊💕 Love hearing about your meeting the new friend at Bible study.
Sharon! My friends, who have been missionaries for 15 yrs in the Comoros and now in Tanzania, kids go to that school! One graduated this year. So amazing that you met this woman! I shouldn’t be surprised because God knows!
Sharon, talk about a kiss from the King, not only for you, but for your newfound friend!
1. How did you experience the goodness of God this week? And, any comments on any of the above?
God is so good! My husband and I are taking the weekend to spend time with old friends. People who know our children from the beginning. It is a special time. I am thinking how the people I know now have no idea how our family was back then, and how these people have been there and know all our quirkiness! It is sweet, and I love how we have kept in touch with one another. One friend has a son who has been with the same woman for 22 yrs but never married. They got married yesterday! We are so thrilled! Our friend is a Christian and the son grew up in church, like our kids. She told him that being married offers such a more fulfilling life and that he needed to bite the bullet. He did! Thank You Lord for blessing Jahn and Kaela.
I do believe thinking of others is important to us. It is difficult to instill this in kids though, I’m afraid. We live in such a me society. I have a non-Christian friend who does a ton of community service with her kids. It makes me feel guilty that I did not do this with our children and I haven’t done much with the grands. It seems like I have no time to spare though. Maybe I should get rid of something and fit that in…
There is something so special in friends that knew you then!
I love the connection of forever friends. And the wedding of their son and his girl is so special.
Patti, you and Dee are “forever friends!” I love that phrase!
Yes, Laura. It is such a blessing!
Sunday
How did you experience the goodness of God this week? And, any comments on any of the above?
—I experienced God’s goodness a number of times in particular.
First I was able to engage the young Ukrainian man who works at a nail salon in a conversation about Christianity while he did my nails. Too much to relate here but he is pretty cynical about church and church goers. And he has good reason but I was able to talk pretty freely about Jesus and how He felt about the religious leaders in his time on earth. I challenged him to read the Bible and to go to the New Testament and read the Gospel accounts about the life and death of Jesus. We had a good and lengthy discussion and I left feeling the Holy Spirit is doing a good work in his life. I look forward to seeing him again in a few weeks.
Secondly this past week I was able to engage my close friend in a much needed conversation about her situation with her husband’s serious memory loss and was able to encourage and affirm our commitment to help her walk through the sale of their home and the decision to make a major move. This is our former pastor and dearest friends for the last 25 years. She is the sweetest of God’s choice servants and our time together was hard but precious.
And thirdly we were able to travel to Lincoln (3 hour trip) and hear our son Tyce preach at Lincoln Berean where he filled the pulpit while the lead pastor was gone. It was a joy to hear him share God’s Word again after almost a year since he left serving as the pastor of our own home church. And it was good to be with his family for the day.
All the above were experiences of God’s goodness to me.
—What an excellent clip by Charlie Kirk. In 2 minutes he nails it.
Just a reminder the young Ukrainian’s name is Yuri.
Thank you for sharing your blessed week, Bev. Love that you were able to hear Tyce! Prayers for Yuri, that he will come to know Jesus. I know your sweet friend will appreciate your help in this difficult journey, with her husband.
Praying for Yuri, may his heart be softened and understand it’s about relationship not religion. My husband has a good German friend (Uwe pronounced ew-va, is his name) who is resistant to Christianity because he sees it as religion and therefore wants nothing to do with it. The Roman Catholic Church that he experienced in Germany is what turned him off. May both of their hearts be opened to the love of Christ.
I know as a mother, being with your son and family and hearing him preach thrilled your heart❤️
So much wonderful news, Bev! Thank you for sharing. Our sharing here buoys my faith and encourages my heart. God is in the details of our lives, and I praise Him for that!
Loved how you were able to talk to the man in the nail salon about how Jesus felt about religion!
3. Read 1 Timothy 1:16-17 as a review and share how this focus could aid self-forgetfulness.
The Lord was patient with Paul, whose life was abundant with sin. Paul’s heart and focus was changed dramatically away from self and toward others.
4. Read Mark 14:1-9
A. Describe what is happening.
Two days before Passover, Jesus was having dinner at the home of Simon, the leper. Mary brought a bottle of expensive perfumed oil and anointed the feet of Jesus. She was criticized for not using the money for the poor, but Jesus acknowledged the love she showed Him. She knew Jesus was the Messiah and she gave Him her best.
B. How is Mary of Bethany self-forgetful?
Mary could have used that amount of money on herself, but she desired to always put God first in her life.
C. How does Jesus exalt her — and what does this imply she understood? Jesus told them that He would not always be with them, but the poor will always be with us. Mary did what she was able to Honor Jesus and she sensed that He would soon be killed. Jesus acknowledged it when He said that Mary had anointed His body before the burial.
MONDAY: THE TEXTS
2. Read 1 Corinthians 4:1-4 as a review and share how this attitude and belief could aid self-forgetfulness.
—Paul takes the position that he is not going to be a people pleaser and concern himself with his status among others when he says in verse 3 “As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don’t even trust my own judgment on this point.” It is a huge step away from being in consumed with one’s self.
3. Read 1 Timothy 1:16-17 as a review and share how this focus could aid self-forgetfulness.
—Paul realizes his life is an example of God’s mercy and patience to a horrible sinner so that serves to point others to realize their need to believe in Jesus and receive eternal life. Paul’s concern is for others to come to Christ and that will result in honor and glory being given to God and to Jesus. Paul is not the focus.
When I consider my salvation it is all God and not me.
4. Read Mark 14:1-9
A. Describe what is happening.
—This is the last week of Jesus’s earthly life when the religious leaders are seeking to kill him. But while taking a break and resting in the home of Simon, Mary comes with a focus on Jesus. And she takes one of her most valuable possessions an alabaster jar filled with a precious perfumed oil and gives it to anointing Him. To the others it appeared to be a waste and they criticized her but Jesus defended her for recognizing the value of the little time she had left with him and that her act of complete selflessness would always be remembered by the church all over the world.
B. How is Mary of Bethany self-forgetful?
—Mary got it about Jesus and sought to honor Him above all others at the cost of giving her own most valuable personal possession.
C. How does Jesus exalt her — and what does this imply she understood?
—I think she understood he was going to die and He was all that mattered. Her act was symbolic of his death and the anointing of his body before death and the result of his dying brought about the Gospel (Good News) of salvation for the world. So her act of anointing Him is tied to the Gospel where ever it is preached and she will always be remembered for it. He honored her faith in Him.
Love this from Bev:
I think she understood he was going to die and He was all that mattered. Her act was symbolic of his death and the anointing of his body before death and the result of his dying brought about the Gospel (Good News) of salvation for the world. So her act of anointing Him is tied to the Gospel where ever it is preached and she will always be remembered for it. He honored her faith in Him.
MONDAY: THE TEXTS
2. Read 1 Corinthians 4:1-4 as a review and share how this attitude and belief could aid self-forgetfulness.
It shouldn’t matter how others or any human authority evaluates me, but to remember that it’s the Lord who will examine me and decide.
Putting my focus on the Lord and His purpose for me takes my focus off of me and trying to please others. Less of me and more of Him.
3. Read 1 Timothy 1:16-17 as a review and share how this focus could aid self-forgetfulness.
All honor and glory to God forever…look up Sharon⬆️
4. Read Mark 14:1-9
A. Describe what is happening.
While eating at the home of Simon, a man who previously had leprosy, a woman came with a beautiful alabaster jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume over Jesus’s head. Some became indignant, scolding her and asking why waste such expensive perfume as it could have been sold for a year’s wages and the money given to feed the poor.
Jesus told them to leave her alone and stop criticizing her for doing such a good thing to Him, saying you will always have the poor but you will not always have Me. She has done what she could and has anointed My body for burial ahead of time. Her deed will be remembered and discussed wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world.
B. How is Mary of Bethany self-forgetful?
She sacrificed an expensive bottle of perfume to anoint Jesus’s body for burial, rather than thinking how she could use it for herself.
C. How does Jesus exalt her — and what does this imply she understood
What she did will be remembered and discussed wherever the Good News is preached through the world.
She understood who Jesus was and what He came to accomplish…to die for sinners.
Look up, Sharon! : ) Great self talk.
So good, Sharon: Putting my focus on the Lord and His purpose for me takes my focus off of me and trying to please others. Less of me and more of Him.
2. Read 1 Corinthians 4:1-4 as a review and share how this attitude and belief could aid self-forgetfulness.
Paul is concerned with others knowing God. He is unconcerned with how people view him. He knows that God will be his only judge.
We can step out and explain Jesus to others without worrying what people think. We only answer to God.
3. Read 1 Timothy 1:16-17 as a review and share how this focus could aid self-forgetfulness.
Paul was the worst of the sinners and God has mercy on him. If He forgives Paul then He will forgive other sinners too.
We can forgive ourselves for our sins knowing that Jesus paid the price so we would be with Him forever. Thank You Jesus!
4. Read Mark 14:1-9
A. Describe what is happening.
Jesus is eating at Simon’s house (a former leper). A woman comes in and pours oil on His head. The others are taken aback and wonder out loud why she would waste the oil which was the equivalent of a years’ wages. They say the money could have been used to help the poor.
Jesus says to leave her alone and then explains that she knows what is important. He says they will always have the poor among them but they won’t always have Him. She took it upon herself to anoint His body before burial and He says she and her act will be remembered for all times.
B. How is Mary of Bethany self-forgetful?
She doesn’t care what anyone thinks.
C. How does Jesus exalt her — and what does this imply she understood?
I explained that above 👆. She knew how important He is.
SUNDAY:
How did you experience the goodness of God this week? And, any comments on any of the above?
We are hosting our annual Women’s Luncheon this coming Sunday. I saw the goodness of God in allowing several women to be involved in planning and preparing for the event. We are expecting approximately 65 women to attend and have opted for a smaller number cutoff this year, as our venue was crowded last year. As the event coordinator showed me her list of RSVPs, I saw names of many who have been with us for so many years. This is our 16th year of hosting, starting with about 12 of us in our small church’s fellowship hall.
This event has opened doors for me to meet women from other churches and to establish relationships that have grown through the years. All by God’s grace.
I love the picture of Maggie and also of Charlie. There is such a peace exuding in their faces. I love Maggie’s “here you are!” Charlie’s “Is the world better because you are in it?” So many good points: self-esteem as a societal carcinogen, self-control is better than self-esteem. He sure does not mince words. I admire his boldness.
I loved this too:
self-esteem as a societal carcinogen, self-control is better than self-esteem.
Amen, Bing and Dee. Both are such examples of putting Jesus and others first. Love this lesson!
Dee and Patti, the more I think about the word “carcinogen” in relation to self-esteem, the more I realize I have seen it ravage our young people (the students I have had through the years). Our enemy is such a liar. I pray our spiritual eyes will always be open to the truth, and the scales of falsehood will come off. I am praying all the more for all generations and confidently trust that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is our refuge, our shelter for every generation.
TUESDAY: How The World Solves The Problem
5. How do worldly counselors advise someone with low self-esteem? Why doesn’t this work?
—Worldly counselors say that it shouldn’t matter what others think about you but rather what should matter only is what you think about you. It just matters what you think about yourself.
The problem with a person that has low self esteem is that it does matter to them what others think and they have developed a low view of themselves that they can’t rise above.
6. What else stands out to you from the above?
—Keller talks about how Paul’s identity works and says it doesn’t matter to him what anyone else thinks about him nor does he want to even concern himself with thinking about himself.
I think Paul serves us here as an example of how to die to self. He realizes his identity has nothing to do with others opinion of him. Today’s world is completely consumed with a persons identity. The world tells us we need to find our true inner self and be that person. Jesus says we need to be crucified to self. “I have been crucified with Christ…”. “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20 NLT
What a wonderful freedom to be found in Christ. I just have to believe it and live like it is true.
Love this Bev:
“I have been crucified with Christ…”. “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20 NLT
What a wonderful freedom to be found in Christ. I just have to believe it and live like it is true.
Yes, Bev! I love this, too, especially: What a wonderful freedom to be found in Christ. I just have to believe it and live like it is true. He lives! And I can, too, in this life, because He is in me
5. How do worldly counselors advise someone with low self-esteem? Why doesn’t this work?
Couselors would say that you should not worry about what others think about you, only what you think about yourself. This directs a person to think about themselves too much. I need to think about what Jesus thinks of me and have whatever I do, direct glory to Him. Our world is telling everyone that it is all about self. I love when Keller said that the Ego is a black hole! That is so accurate! Being the “center” of your universe is a very short lived “high” and then you need the next “high” . The explanation of Madonna is so true, if you make yourself the center of anything. It becomes a never ending black hole that accomplishes nothing for the kingdom of God.
(In another sermon, Benediction, Tim Keller tells of a scene from Bridget Jones where she is confused when she is told that all that matters is what she thinks of herself. She says, “What, that can be right! I don’t like myself!”)
6. What else stands out to you from the above?
We do need to evaluate our thoughts and actions, but through the lens of Christ and what will demonstrate Christ to others. We need to stay in God’s Word and transform our thoughts and actions though that, not based on how puffed up we will feel about how others see us. Maggie is such a great example of that.
I love Romans 12 and it is worth reading often. I need to keep my eyes on Jesus and my relationship with Him, ask Him to give me a heart for Him, like Mary had, and a servant’s heart for others. Mary got the message that the others missed.
Itoo love that Mary got the message others missed.
How did you experience the goodness of God this week? And, any comments on any of the above?
Oh, I have missed so much already this week. What a lot the Lord is doing in all of your lives! I’ve been feeling distracted with many things going on so that I’m feeling too busy to get on here. Enough of that-the time must be made. God’s goodness was evident at the hayride as we had 60 people attend. We met some new neighbors and some we knew before along with our family and a few friends. One neighbor left thanking me for her new friend she made 🙂. A young mom, I think was encouraged to know she has kids in the neighborhood who she could find friends now for her own. We all really had a great time and I’m hoping another neighborhood event will be organized to keep the community growing. Even our neighbor who was so upset with my husband seemed to have a nice time; though she is very self-focused, I discovered she has some ways she does reach out to others. Overall, a very encouraging evening for everyone. The BLESS app is keeping me focused on neighbors.
We had our gathering for our small group on Thursday last week to watch the documentary, Truth Rising. We had so much difficulty getting it to play, that we had to go to another member’s house to watch. In the end, everyone really liked it but we will discuss over the next 4 weeks in the small group study. I’m excited to see what discussion it brings with regard to the cultural changes happening today.
The goodness of God was also seen in my daughter’s announcement of a new baby on the way at our hayride. This will be her third and comes after two boys (4 and 1 1/2) and two losses. She suffers from a liver disease and we are very grateful she is carrying a third child, but definitely in prayer for her health as she has had complications in the past with both pregnancies.
I love all the comments on the above. I believe I’m most impacted by the goal Maggie has of entering a room and focusing on others and not “here I am.”
Oh, Chris! I am so happy to hear the hay ride went well, especially with the one neighbor we prayed for. Prayers for your daughter with this new life in her womb. May God keep them both in His care and keep your daughter and the baby healthy and full term.
Thank you, Patti.
Oh, Chris! So happy for you. What a fun way to engage with neighbors. Praying for your daughter, a safe pregnancy, and the overall health of mom and baby.
Love the news of fruit from the hayride! And Lord, please be with Chris’s daughter and the little one in her womb.
MONDAY: THE TEXTS
1. Read 1 Corinthians 4:1-4 as a review and share how this attitude and belief could aid self-forgetfulness.
If we don’t judge others and ourselves, acknowledge that only God does the judging, and surrender everything to this should aid self-forgetfulness.
2. Read 1 Timothy 1:16-17 as a review and share how this focus could aid self-forgetfulness.
Jesus showed me mercy by dying for me. I do not deserve it; while I was yet a sinner, Christ died for me. He also has shown me much patience when I have sinned and lived my life my way, and He never gave up on me.
Verse 17 became radioactive to me as it followed v. 16. “Now to the king eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be glory and honor forever and ever, Amen.
Whatever I do now is for His honor and His glory. It is good for me to ask myself whenever I have negative thoughts or am anxious or worried about myself or feel hurt, do I bring honor to Him? Obviously, no. Jesus SHOULD always be my focus. Keep your compass steady on the True North, Bing.
I am a visual/kinesthetic learner, and the Lord just brought this to mind using a compass to help me remember to stay in Jesus:
True NORTH -JESUS; EAST- Ernema (my name-I think of myself); SOUTH Satan and Self; WEST- World. Lord, Jesus, help me stay focused on you, help me keep going true north and not to myself, the enemy, and the world.
4. Read Mark 14:1-9
A. Describe what is happening.
Jesus was at the home of Simon the Leper, and a woman with an alabaster jar of expensive perfume came and broke the jar and poured the perfume (worth a year’s wage) over Jesus’ head.
Some of those present rebuked her harshly and thought the perfume could have been sold and the money given to the poor.
B. How is Mary of Bethany self-forgetful?
She was not concerned about her reputation being in front of men; she gave up what she could have spent on herself and for her future.
C. How does Jesus exalt her — and what does this imply she understood?
“She has done a beautiful thing for me, and whenever the gospel is preached, what she has done will also be told.” Mary seemed to have known that Jesus was going to die, and she offered her gift of anointing Him for His burial.
TUESDAY: How The World Solves The Problem
1. How do worldly counselors advise someone with low self-esteem? Why doesn’t this work?
That is what others think doesn’t matter; it just depends on what you think of yourself. Set your own standards, accomplish them, and then evaluate yourself. Ugh!
It won’t work because your “verdict” or judgment of yourself then will be dependent on you! Yikes! And often, I wrestle with either low or high esteem. So how can I make myself a judge of myself, let alone others? Paul’s words here resonated and felt like a moment of godly reasoning!:
(In another sermon, Benediction, Tim Keller tells of a scene from Bridget Jones where she is confused when she is told that all that matters is what she thinks of herself. She says, “What, that can be right! I don’t like myself!”)
2. What else stands out to you from the above?
For someone who struggles with the idol of approval, this is a challenge to practice. My identity is not based on what others think of me. God is the only rightful Judge. And I need to remind myself of that, moment by moment. He is holy and just, and though I am not, Jesus already paid the price God requires for me to meet His holiness and justice.
And I would say again, this is GOLD from Keller. He has a way with words that brings home the lesson with such grace and truth.
Always love encouragement about Keller.
I totally agree Bing! This is a powerful message from Tim Keller, about where we get our value! Thank you, Dee, for this lesson!
TUESDAY: How The World Solves The Problem
5. How do worldly counselors advise someone with low self-esteem?
To counteract it with high self-esteem.
Why doesn’t this work?
It doesn’t change anything because your focus is still on self.
6. What else stands out to you from the above?
Paul knows exactly who he is as his identity is in Christ and he is secure in that.
Love your entire post, Sharon. Concise and spot on!
Sharon, I, too, was struck by the sameness of high and low self-esteem. I think they both to prIde.
WEDNESDAY: NOT PUFFED UP BUT FILLED UP
7. What is the main point from the above?
—The point is that Paul is not puffed up but he is filled up.
Keller says “Paul is bringing us into new territory we don’t know anything about because Paul’s ego is not puffed up; it’s filled up”
He has come to the place where he is not thinking about himself anymore. When he does something wrong or when he does something right, he doesn’t connect it anymore. He chooses not to think about himself.
8. Why shouldn’t we care what others think of us, even what we think of ourselves?
—Concerning myself with what others think even what I think of me is a terrible distraction from keeping my focus on the Lord so when I stop doing that I realize it is so freeing and Paul’s example here is so good for my own life. A wonderful reminder to not get caught up in being self focused that is fueled by what others think of me.
WEDNESDAY: NOT PUFFED UP BUT FILLED UP
7. What is the main point from the above?
Just as Paul’s sins didn’t identify him, our sins don’t identify us. We can’t fall into that trap, because we set our own standards rather than living by God’s standards. May our egos not be puffed up, but rather filled up resulting in not thinking about ourselves.
I think that Charlie Kirk’s death has made many people think about heaven (have you noticed this from our president?). He seems obsessed with getting to heaven but it all depends on his works, how good he is…his ego is being directed by his standards, drawing attention to himself. I pray that his eyes will be opened to the truth of the gospel…he has heard it!
8. Why shouldn’t we care what others think of us, even what we think of ourselves?
If we do this we’re making a verdict of what good or bad is according to what others think of us and what we think of ourselves. Our egos are stroked accordingly. We must stop thinking about ourselves!
5. How do worldly counselors advise someone with low self-esteem? Why doesn’t this work?
They say we should only care about what we think of ourselves.
We are still relying on ourselves to solve the problem. We are not able to solve the problem.
6. What else stands out to you from the above?
A Christian’s standard is God’s standard.
Just a quick thank you:
When my daughter and I went to the Philippines last summer, I copied and pasted on paper your prayers for us. I found the copy tucked in a journal that I am working on for her. As I read those prayers, I realized they were all answered to the praise and glory of our Abba! Thank you to all of you, dear friends!
What a blessing, Bing!
Bing That is so sweet to hear. God is so good! 😊
Awesome story!
That’s wonderful, Bing!
Thank you for sharing this Bing…thrills my heart and praise God!
7. What is the main point from the above? That we are not to care what anyone thinks of us, including ourselves.
8. Why shouldn’t we care what others think of us, even what we think of ourselves? Because we’re not good for doing good deeds or bad for doing bad deeds. Even on our best behavior we fall short in our thoughts and motivations. We are continual sinners and have no ability to do good outside of Christ’s work in us. The only one who can judge/condemn us is Jesus himself and he says that he won’t condemn us. That’s why he came and paid the price for our sins.
Amen, Dawn!
Dawn,
Such clear and wonderful truth.
7. What is the main point from the above?
If I focus my heart on God and doing His will, thinking of others, I will not have my focus on myself.
8. Why shouldn’t we care what others think of us, even what we think of ourselves?
We should not spend our time thinking of either, think of what we are doing to further God’s kingdom. Focus forward.
9. What does Lewis say are the characteristics of a truly humble person?
A truly humble person is interested in others, and their stories, not in her own stories.
10. Why might this person be happier than most?
It makes your heart happy when you can learn about others and not think about yourself. I think Romans 12 is such a good chapter on this.
11. What else stands out to you from the above and why?
When you get to know a person and see their gifts, it is the beginning of a relationship, building a bridge, learning new things. If you are worried about your own image, it is a dead end.
From Patti:
When you get to know a person and see their gifts, it is the beginning of a relationship, building a bridge, learning new things. If you are worried about your own image, it is a dead end.
THURSDAY: THE POWER OF THE GOSPEL TO BRING ABOUT SUPERNATURAL CHANGE
9. What does Lewis say are the characteristics of a truly humble person?
—He says “Don’t imagine if you met a really humble person you would ever come away from him thinking he was humble. He will not be somebody who’s always telling you he’s a nobody,”
10. Why might this person be happier than most?
—I think because it is like Keller said that person is not a self-obsessed person but rather seems to be totally interested in others. There is a freedom in letting go and not focusing on self. And the way to do that is to consider and think about the needs of others. It would seem to relate to the principle that Christ taught us to be servants of one another. Jesus said he came “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.””
Matthew 20:28 NLT
That person is happier because there is joy in serving Jesus and we do that by serving others.
11. What else stands out to you from the above and why?
—“The essence of gospel humility is not thinking more of yourself or thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less.”
Keller says one mark of a truly humble person in this sense, “a self-forgetful person, not a self-hating person, not a self-loving person so much, but a self-forgetful person”.
It is someone who doesn’t relate everything back to themselves. They are “other” centered people. It is somebody “who doesn’t need honor and isn’t afraid of it”.
I think a person who is balanced in their estimation of themselves has given Jesus his rightful place in their lives.
Love Bev’s answer:
10. Why might this person be happier than most?
—I think because it is like Keller said that person is not a self-obsessed person but rather seems to be totally interested in others. There is a freedom in letting go and not focusing on self. And the way to do that is to consider and think about the needs of others. It would seem to relate to the principle that Christ taught us to be servants of one another. Jesus said he came “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.””
Matthew 20:28 NLT
That person is happier because there is joy in serving Jesus and we do that by serving others.
I, too, love your answer to 10. This is great too: It is someone who doesn’t relate everything back to themselves. They are “other” centered people. It is somebody “who doesn’t need honor and isn’t afraid of it”.
THURSDAY: THE POWER OF THE GOSPEL TO BRING ABOUT SUPERNATURAL CHANGE
9. What does Lewis say are the characteristics of a truly humble person?
“All you will remember from coming away from a truly humble person is how much he seemed to be totally interested in you, because the essence of gospel humility is not thinking more of yourself or thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less. It’s not needing to think about yourself.”
10. Why might this person be happier than most?
They’re not competing to make it all about themselves, but are genuinely happy for the other person.
11. What else stands out to you from the above and why?
A person who’s self-forgetful, a person whose ego is not puffed up but filled up, won’t be devastated by criticism but will listen and learn from it.
This is something that I feel takes extraordinary strength (having a full ego 😜) because of how and why the criticism is being given. If you’re truly a person who is self-forgetful you must also look past the reason or even the motive for the criticism and listen and learn.
60 years ago I read these words in Mere Christianity that Keller and Sharon quote and never forgot them:
“All you will remember from coming away from a truly humble person is how much he seemed to be totally interested in you, because the essence of gospel humility is not thinking more of yourself or thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less. It’s not needing to think about yourself.”
Love the quote from Keller that you and Dee posted.
And this is so good, Sharon….I need to always remember this : A person who’s self-forgetful, a person whose ego is not puffed up but filled up, won’t be devastated by criticism but will listen and learn from it.
This is something that I feel takes extraordinary strength (having a full ego 😜) because of how and why the criticism is being given. If you’re truly a person who is self-forgetful you must also look past the reason or even the motive for the criticism and listen and learn.
WEDNESDAY: NOT PUFFED UP BUT FILLED UP
1. What is the main point from the above?
“ I have come to the place where I’m not thinking about myself anymore. When I do something wrong, when I do something right, I don’t connect it anymore. I’m not thinking about myself.”
8. Why shouldn’t we care what others think of us, even what we think of ourselves?
There’s no connection. I can be as good or as bad as I can get, but both do not matter because in both, I am judging myself. I leave the judgment or verdict to God. This is freeing!
THURSDAY: THE POWER OF THE GOSPEL TO BRING ABOUT SUPERNATURAL CHANGE
9. What does Lewis say are the characteristics of a truly humble person?
It’s thinking of yourself less. My performance (bad or good) is not connected to who I am in Christ.
10. Why might this person be happier than most?
I have moments of awareness that I am complete in Christ, no need to perform, just loved through and through, and those are moments that happiness is almost too much to bear, and tears abound. These moments are possible here on earth, though only a hint of what is to come.
11. What else stands out to you from the above and why?
You can actually enjoy things for what they are. I can look at someone or something, and be truly grateful that I get the opportunity to savor such a gift.
I love that,Bing, and pray for that to grow in my heart.
I love your answers here, Bing. I have a couple of circumstances in which very difficult things happened which has made a couple close relationships very strained. Rather than allowing my heart to travel down the road of depression over this, I must turn my eyes to Christ and remember what he has done to cover all circumstances we live through here on earth. I love the distinction of my performance-GOOD OR BAD- not being connected to who I am in Christ. We like to think if we are doing good or what we think is good, all will be well, but sometimes the enemy is working behind the scenes deceiving us to believe all is well, when it really is very bad.
I remember the story of Joseph and his brothers and that touching moment when he is grieving over meeting them in Egypt, after all those hard years away from his family (he has to go to the other room to ugly cry) and he is able to pull it together and say in Genesis 50:20, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” Wow. Joseph really got this self-forgetfulness lesson.
And your answer to 10! Thank you for reminding me that I actually have those moments, as well. How I wish for those to come more often. And your final answer. To actually enjoy things for what they are, being grateful for such a gift. I was really struggling yesterday in two relationships and wanted to say something, but realizing my emotions were getting the better of me, I am so glad I kept my mouth shut and put on praise music instead. Today I am able to look at these relationships and take the Lord’s perspective to see them as gifts they truly are-so thankful for the Keller sermon and once again for the story of Joseph-still my all time favorite.
Chris, thanks for sharing your experience with how you dealt with strained relationships. I had those times when I feel like I want to disengage from life, from ministry. Too much pain but I think of Jesus. He loved Judas till the end. Joseph-as you shared-he moved forward with his brothers. I often wondered how he cared for Dinah as a single woman. I am sure he did good to her.
on number 10: yesterday my husband and I went to do some shopping, before I left I prayed that I will try to practice forgetting self for the trip. You know, it was a holy experience to greet strangers genuinely and intentionally. A quick exchange with a girl who helped us with our groceries. It did not take much effort but I felt like she and we enjoyed that brief encounter.
I love this. Thank you.
7. What is the main point from the above?
I’m not sure if I am following this line of thinking. Rough week, and I have not been able to focus well when I have come to study, which hasn’t been enough. Ugh!
He says that he doesn’t care if anyone judges him or if he judges himself. Keller says he doesn’t connect the sinning with his identity. It’s as if he has separated them from himself.
8. Why shouldn’t we care what others think of us, even what we think of ourselves?
We have a job to do here on Earth. The job is to tell others about Christ. Paul admittedly was a sinner, but he also had a clear conscious. His ego wasn’t wrapped up in whether you or I, or even he, judged it.
I guess Paul repented about his sin? That’s how he had the clear conscious? He knew he committed the sins, but also repented to God, and continued the commission he had to tell all about Jesus? Therefore he could move forward in confidence, doing his work?
This sermon is very confusing to me. I guess I should read what others wrote also. I will try to do that today.
I have struggles with understanding as well, but after listening all week and reading comments here, I think I am finally getting it! Praying for you, Laura. 🤍
Praying for you dear Laura. It is a hard concept. I have listened to it a few times and still learning. The comments have helped me too. 😊🙏
Laura, I hear you. I had to listen a few times to understand what Keller was sharing. I think for me it might be because I have not thought of this passage as explaining self-forgetfulness. As a teacher, I felt like there was so much emphasis on self-esteem issues in the classroom. Keller has a way of honing in on the gospel in any area of life. “The sin underneath the sin”. Now I am rambling!
Friday: The Verdict is In
13. What does Keller mean when he says the verdict is in?
—He is saying what we are looking for is the ultimate verdict that we are important and that we are valuable. All other religions require performance to obtain a verdict on whether we measure up and are important or valuable but with Christianity, with us who have believed on Jesus for salvation from our sin the verdict is in. In other words it is settled and it is decided and he quotes Romans 8:1 “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” He says only in the Gospel of Jesus Christ do you get the verdict before the performance.
14. What is the difference between living to get a good verdict and living as a result of knowing the verdict is in and you are cleansed and loved?
—Living to get a good verdict is practicing a religion and will never satisfy the heart’s ultimate need. Living as a result of knowing the verdict is in and settled and proclaims I am loved and nothing more is required of me gives true freedom to my heart and mind.
15. What stands out to you from the above and why?
—“The Christian identity operates totally differently than any other kind of identity.”
There is an incredible freedom that can be mine when it is settled in my heart and mind that my identity is in being a beloved child of God. I am important and valuable because of what Jesus accomplished on the Cross. The gospel sets me free from judgement. The verdict is in and court is adjourned!
Friday: The Verdict is In
13. What does Keller mean when he says the verdict is in?
Verdict refers to judgment. When he said the verdict is already in, it means Jesus already gave the verdict—no need to perform.
14. What is the difference between living to get a good verdict and living as a result of knowing the verdict is in and you are cleansed and loved?
Living to get a good verdict means the verdict is based on my performance. Good or bad? Pass or Fail? On the other hand, living as a result of knowing the verdict is in already, “The minute I believe, God says, ‘You are my beloved in whom I am well pleased.” The verdict is in. Now Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus …” “The verdict is in, and now I perform based on the verdict.
15. What stands out to you from the above and why?
He (Jesus) took the trial we deserved, so we don’t have to have any more trials. So, the minute I say, “Lord God, accept me because of what Jesus has done,” then the only person’s opinion who counts looks at me and finds me more valuable than all the jewels that are under the earth. How can you worry about being snubbed now? How can you worry about being ignored now? How can you care that much about what it looks like in the mirror?
Saturday:
16. What is your take-a-way and why?
One of the things I love about Keller is his realism. He knows we’ll forget to self-forget. I quote the below for those of us like me who see ourselves revisiting the courtroom daily:
All I can tell you is you have to relive the gospel every time you pray, every time you come to church. You have to relive the gospel on the spot. You have to say, “What am I doing in this courtroom? Court is adjourned. I don’t care what you think. I don’t even care what I think. I only care what the Lord thinks, and he has said, ‘You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased.’ ” Live out of that.
Dee, thank you once again for this series. Such a powerful lesson, and I pray God to help me remember what I have learned here.
A special prayer request for our women’s luncheon on Sunday, 12:30-2:30 CST: I go back to one of our lessons and pray that the luncheon be an Ephesians 3:20-21 experience for all.
Father, please be all over this luncheon today!
So good to remember, Bing. I need to keep Him at the center of my life in everything! Yes, a powerful lesson that I need to practice daily!
I will pray for am Ephesians 3:20-21 experience for your luncheon. May many hearts be drawn to Jesus.
Thank you, Dee and Patti. I am praying specifically for a nurse colleague who reached out to me and couldn’t attend because of a prior commitment. She wants to attend the 4 week Bible Study we are doing as a follow up to the topic on Rest. She is a very busy young mother of 2 working full time so I am very excited she is committing to this short study.
Friday: The Verdict is In
13. What does Keller mean when he says the verdict is in?
It doesn’t matter what others think or what I think, only what Christ’s opinion is, as He is my judge and I am justified through His blood on the cross. Therefore the verdict is in before the performance. “Not because of the righteous things I’ve done, but because of His mercy. He washed away my sins, giving me a new birth through the Holy Spirit.” Titus 3:5
14. What is the difference between living to get a good verdict and living as a result of knowing the verdict is in and you are cleansed and loved?
Living to get a good verdict keeps you constantly on trial…performing to get a good verdict.
Living as a result of knowing the verdict is in and I am cleansed and loved brings freedom…the trial is over.
15. What stands out to you from the above and why?
“Every day I find myself being sucked back into the courtroom, and I’m not living like Paul says. I’m not living the way Paul is. I’m getting sucked back in.” All I can tell you is you have to relive the gospel every time you pray, every time you come to church. You have to relive the gospel on the spot. You have to say, “What am I doing in this courtroom? Court is adjourned. I don’t care what you think. I don’t even care what I think. I only care what the Lord thinks, and he has said, ‘You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased.’
I really appreciate that Keller shares how we can live this out…reliving the gospel every time we pray, go to church and in reminding ourselves…”I only care what the Lord thinks. I’m His beloved child in whom He is well pleased!”
Amen, Sharon. I so appreciate this also. I have found this has been hard this week. Sometimes the trials here speak so loudly that I have to pray for the Lord to help me hear his love above the pain I am in. It can be so hard. Keller is really onto something with this self-forgetfulness.
Love your comparisons in 14. Sharon!
Sharon, I felt the same way. And I realized I am not as good as I thought I was in the area of self-forgetfulness. And yet, Tim has given us hope. ” I only care what the Lord thinks. I’m His beloved child in whom He is well pleased!”
https://youtu.be/eL8dwxjwpyo?feature=shared
This is a beautiful reminder in song of the scripture by Judy Rogers called, “Trust in the Lord”-from Proverbs 3:5-6.
I needed this so powerfully this week and it goes well with the lesson. My own heart has been hurting and I have had to really push to see my Lord and HIS plan so that I do not look to my own heart and its flawed understanding. Hope this encourages you, as well.
Dear Chris, I am so sorry that you are hurting. It is so hard to go through these times. I pray that the Holy Spirit will pour the love of God over you and give you the Peace and hope that can only come from our Father in Heaven. You are in my prayers. You are loved! and you are appreciated! 🙏💕
Thank you for this link, Chris!
Thanks for sharing Chris. Those favorite Proverbs are beautifully put to music and are encouraging. Praying for God to bless you in unexpected ways and to be encouraged by Him. 💕
Praying for you Chris as you press into the Lord during this season of hurt😔!
Love this …”My own heart has been hurting and I have had to really push to see my Lord and HIS plan so that I do not look to my own heart and its flawed understanding.”
13. What does Keller mean when he says the verdict is in?
Jesus paid the price and our verdict is “forgiven”. As Keller said, I need to relive the gospel every time I pray, every time I go to church. It is easy to get onto a habit and not truly focus our hearts when we pray or when we interact with others. It is so important to focus on the person you are with or are talking to and be very present.
14. What is the difference between living to get a good verdict and living as a result of knowing the verdict is in and you are cleansed and loved?
We can be free of feeling that we have to perform. But we do need to keep our eyes and focus on Jesus. It is easy to get into a habit of praying, without thinking ~ so important to focus our hearts on Jesus and on our words when we pray. It is the same when we interact with others. They cannot just be there to fill space in our spare time. My relationships and conversations need to be intentional, thoughtful and filled with God’s love.
15. What stands out to you from the above and why?
I need what Keller prayed. His words are so good. I love this comment and prayer from Keller and it says it all:
I only care what the Lord thinks, and he has said, ‘You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased.’ ” Live out of that. AMEN!
Let us pray. Give us what we need, Father, to develop this blessed self-forgetfulness. This is not really pride, of course, but it’s not even the kind of low self-esteem. It’s not high self-esteem. It’s so hard to even describe. We just ask that you would help us to pull it into our own lives and begin to practice it. Think of how different we would be. Think of how free we would be. Show us how we can make this more central. Show us how we can live out of it. Help us to be everything we can be in Jesus, in whose name we pray.
Amen to Patti’s prayer!
“we do need to keep our eyes and focus on Jesus. It is easy to get into a habit of praying, without thinking”. Patti, I identify with this comment. Thankyou for you prayer. Seeking God to be more self forgetful.
Patti, I love his prayer at the end, too. He spoke and struggled with us in this area of self-forgetfulness. “ We just ask that you would help us to pull it into our own lives and begin to practice it. Think of how different we would be. Think of how free we would be. Show us how we can make this more central. Show us how we can live out of it. Help us to be everything we can be in Jesus, in whose name we pray.”
Patti, such a good reminder…“My relationships and conversations need to be intentional, thoughtful and filled with God’s love.”
Saturday:
P.S.
This study has really challenged me to pause before speaking or sharing what comes to mind. What part of this is in some sense self-promoting rather than self-forgetting? Keller gives us some great things to ponder and gives us hope when we are in this dilemma: “…and every day I find myself being sucked back into the courtroom, and I’m not living like Paul says. I’m not living the way Paul is. I’m getting sucked back in.” Our hope is in hearing the Father saying: ‘You are my beloved child in whom I am well pleased.’ ” Live out of that.
So, I am sharing to make myself accountable and to encourage us all. (Smile)
From Elisabeth Elliot: If one who is truly humble does right and is judged to be wrong, he will not give the judgment a second thought. It is his Father’s glory that matters to him, not his own. He will “rejoice and be exceeding glad,” knowing for one thing that a great reward will be his, and, for another, that he thus enters in a measure into the suffering of Christ.
From Psalm 19 Only God can discern (or judge) my errors; I cannot. He alone can declare me blameless.
Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults.
Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression.
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
And I think this was my favorite in reference to what we are and have been to each other under Dee’s leadership: we are encouragers to one another to pursue self-forgetfulness rather than making a name for ourselves.
From Adrian Rogers on the gospel of self-effort:
“Then they said to one another, ‘Come, let us make bricks and bake them thoroughly.’ They had brick for stone, and they had asphalt for mortar. And they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth. Genesis 11:3-4
We’ve substituted our own wit and wisdom for God, and we’re trying to build a golden age with minds, machinery, and money, and it can’t be done.
Bing, this post is so encouraging. Loved it all!
Praying for your ladies luncheon 🙏
I like the contrast between self-promoting and self-forgetting!
9. What does Lewis say are the characteristics of a truly humble person?
A truly humble person will be thinking of others more than themselves. They are interested in you.
They are not worried about criticism from others.
10. Why might this person be happier than most?
They are free!
From Keller:
“ You can actually enjoy things for what they are. They’re not just for your résumé. ”
11. What else stands out to you from the above and why?
This part makes me squirm! I am guilty of the criticism thing…I don’t read the reviews of my class at the community college for fear someone might say something mean. Ugh. BUT, I also think I am cusping on being happy for others when good things happen to them. In the past I would have been envious. I am a work in progress 😉