How I love Psalm 42.
It has brought me such strength when all His waves and billows are sweeping me over me.
We have done this psalm before, and will do again, for it is ever needed and ever new. Recently, on this blog, we completed the first book in the Psalter, and now we will begin, until the time of Thanksgiving and Advent, the second book in the Psalter. It begins with “nine songs of the sons of Korah,” so we should expect some great music inspired by these psalms. My favorite psalm (at least right now!) is Psalm 42, and its heart cry and dialogue with the soul continues on into Psalm 43. This is a famous psalm — many great pieces of music, even a whole classical hour by Mendelssohn, have been inspired by it. Why does it so penetrate the hearts of believers?
Next door to me is a dock that has stood strong in the storms of Lake Michigan for 60 years. It is a dock from which I, my children, and my grandchildren have caught fish, teeming without number. From it we have watched the waves and boats empowered by His invisible wind, so like the Spirit in our lives.
But last month we had a storm like none I had seen. In the beginning, it was exciting, and I went out and filmed it, and put it on my author facebook page. You can click below to go to see that five second video sweeping over my neighbor’s dock — but that was just the beginning of the storm. Soon it moved from exciting to frightening.
https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=623923911059448
Eleven inches of rain filled basements everywhere. The fierce storm gave a fatal blow to the foundations of this seemingly impenetrable dock, actually cracking the cement. Now, every day, more of the dock disappears into the bay. What seemed impenetrable is passing away.
When the very foundation of our life is cracked, and we feel like we cannot go on, what do we do?
We speak the truth to our souls, for if our foundation is cracked, it is a faulty foundation. For we have a foundation that can never crack, we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken. We must talk to our souls, the way the psalmist did, when all of the waves were sweeping over him.
This is my beloved husband months before he died, near the dock I just described. Steve was a contemplative man, and he often had to take his soul in hand during his illness. He told our youngest, “Annie — I’m so sad I have to leave you — but I’m so glad I got to be your daddy. And I will always be your daddy.” Even in those words I know that Steve was talking to his soul. He trusted God’s promises that we would be reunited one day. And we will! One day we will hug, we will talk, we will laugh — and “everything sad,” as Tolkein put it, “will be untrue.” Joy will come in the morning.
My son J. R., who studies the Jewish holy days, told me that the day of Steve’s death, October 16th, was the 8th day of the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles, and represented eternity — for an 8 on it’s side is the symbol of eternity. Steve and I have been separated for ten years, but we will be together for eternity.
Jesus knows our sorrow will only last for the night and joy will come in the morning, yet He still cares about our nights, and will comfort His suffering child. And at times, deep will call to deep.
What does this phrase that has inspired poets and painters mean?
Sunday Ice Breaker
Charles Spurgeon interpreted it as “the deep voice of God speaking deep into our souls.” If you have stood by a waterfall you know there is an echo. In the midst of tumult, in the midst of the wilderness, our God has a way of speaking to us. Usually it is through the Word, sometimes through the peace only He can give, and sometimes through a gift that comes with such uncanny timing that you know it is from Him. How I remember when my daughter Sally came to me on the 5th Anniversary of Steve’s death with news we had waited for so long: “I know it’s a sad day, Mom — but it’s a great day — I’m pregnant!”
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
LET’S GO!
Bible study: Monday-Wednesday
READ PSALM 42:
Read as a lover reads, lingering on the images. There are four water images. The first is familiar to us because of this praise song. Make this song a sacrifice of worship by singing with your mind and heart to the Lord.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w4DOB7OYTs
1. In Psalm 42:1-2, what is the image? What do the streams of living water that the psalmist is trying to find represent?
2. The psalmist says he is not finding God. He is like a deer dying for water who comes all the way down from the mountain and finds the riverbed dry. What water image is in verse 3? How is this a true lament?
3. Look carefully and see if you can find hidden in this verse 3 the classic signs of depression. (weeping, not sleeping, not eating).
4. Find another causal factor to depression in verse 4.
5. Often, when facing an enormous trial, we want to withdraw. Have you felt that way? Why is that one of the worst things you can do?
6. If you are, indeed, withdrawing, talk to your soul and tell her some of the ways being with Christian brethren has encouraged you in the past.
I want to tell you how you, my sisters on this blog, have come to mean a great deal to me. It is often through you that God whispers, encourages, and guides. You are a well of water into which I dip. One of you sent me an engraved heart that says: “Love beneath the waves: deep calls to deep.” I treasure it and I treasure you.
7. Now, in Psalm 42:5, the psalmist does something very wise. He takes his soul in hand and asks him a question. What is it?
8. For those who have been through our idolatry study, what do you think he is really asking his soul?
9. What, according to verse 5, does he tell his soul to do?
10. As the psalmist (we aren’t sure if it was David, though Spurgeon says it reeks of David!) is far away from others who love God (he may be fleeing in the wilderness from enemies, he may be captured) he remembers times when he did have fellowship with brothers and sisters. He remembers how God was close to him. He is lamenting when suddenly God comes to him. In verse 7 we have the famous phrase “deep calls to deep.” What water image is it paired with? What do you know about the roar of waterfalls that would go with “deep calling to deep?”
10. The fourth water image is both negative and positive, though I for so long only saw it as negative. Find it in this same verse.
A. How could this water image be negative?
B. Verse 7 paired with verse 8 shows how this water image could be positive. What do you see?
11. Watch this and comment on it. What images from Psalm 42 do you find? Other thoughts?
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCwDtSFMjdw
12. Read Psalm 43. What do you see?
13. Why must we at times keep repeating the same truth to our souls?
Thursday-Friday Sermon
14. LISTEN TO KELLER’S FREE SERMON ON PSALM 42 AND RECORD YOUR THOUGHTS: http://www.gospelinlife.com/finding-god-7916.html
15. ONE THING THAT IS INTERESTING TO ME, IS KELLER REFERS TO PEOPLE WHO SO BACKED AWAY FROM GOD IN THE MIDST OF PAIN THAT THEY ARE NOT SURE THEY ARE CHRISTIANS. WHAT THOUGHTS DO YOU HAVE ON THIS?
Saturday:
16. What is your take-a-way and why?
495 comments
Dee – how joyous to return to the Psalms for this season of reflection and contemplation that is coming along……but I just had to say one last THANK YOU for guiding us so skillfully through the minefields of our walk as women before the Lord…..as singles, widows, divorcess, marrieds (both happily and, perhaps, most painfully )…..and most critically, turning our eyes ultimately upon the greatest Lover we could ever imagine – our future Bridegroom!! Indeed, MUCH of what we studied together in those weeks would qualify in my heart as “deep calling to deep”. It was a walk to remember.
Though I never knew Steve and have never met you personally, I read your introduction with tears that finally brimmed over. I love your Steve’s heart! I can’t WAIT to meet him in heaven. What a DAY that will be. I love his example, while dying, of “taking his soul in hand”…..speaking truth to his soul. What a legacy for your children and your children’s children!! I saw my mom do the same……
Most often, I do believe that when the foundations crumble, it is the Word of the Living God that comes to us with TRUTH again and again! But, oh, how He delights in surprising us with truth through our precious brothers and sisters in Christ, the glories of Creation, soul-stirring music and art……what a wordsmith was C.S. Lewis – he said “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts to us in our pain.” I cannot argue with that….but I’ve also found that God whispers to me in my pain as well…..maybe a lot more than He shouts! I have come to believe that when I’m in agonizing distress, He wants me tucked in VERY close….no need to shout, I’m there on His lap…..He’s wrapped around me….I’m secure….I hear His whispers…..
As always, I’m so anticipating this coming week with you Dee….and with ALL of you, my precious sisters! Laughing now because I have the old Carole King song stuck in my brain….”Where You Lead, I will Follow….any, anywhere that you tell me to…..” HA! Probably NOT the kind of great and inspiring music that you had in mind with the Psalms…..although….if we’re singing it to Jesus, it’s PERFECT!!
Jackie — I want to put this post in my prayer journal and read it when the arrows of the enemy come. Thank you!
Jackie, you do have a way with words…such a tender, loving heart you have. So glad you are with us here on the blog, you certainly add a richness and depth.
Jackie – I wrote my comments before reading yours, Steve’s story always touches me, too. I loved what you said about He tucks you in close”…no need to shout, I’m there on His lap…” very good, so true.
Oh, so beautiful, Jackie.
Jackie_ Oh the richness and depth of what the Lord has given you in whispers comes out so vividly to all of us here. I loved those words you shared and also can feel the Lords arms wrapped around me in those times of distress.
Love this:
“He wants me tucked in VERY close….no need to shout, I’m there on His lap…..He’s wrapped around me….I’m secure….I hear His whispers…..”
Jackie,
Love this ~ I have come to believe that when I’m in agonizing distress, He wants me tucked in VERY close….no need to shout, I’m there on His lap…..He’s wrapped around me….I’m secure….I hear His whispers…..
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
When my mom died a few months ago, it was tough. However, I had little “signs” that He was there along the way as we went through the process of her funeral and burial. One of the first things was on my flight down to Atlanta. I flew alone; my family followed when we knew more about the date of the funeral. You know how they have the airline magazine? I pulled it out of the seat and looked at the front cover. The cover noted a picture and an article on Winter Park, Florida (a very small town near Orlando). The article highlighted “Rollins college” in that town. The significance? I was born in winter park and mom taught at this small college when I was young. I cried. I felt like God was right there with me…..why would that town be highlighted on that monthly magazine? It was just for me and I knew He was with me, as he always is. Thank You Lord.
Wonderful story, Laura!
Laura…what a “kiss” from the Lord…an embrace from Him to let you know you weren’t alone, He was right there by your side walking with you in your grief. Winter Park…I’ll have to ask my parents if they are familiar with Winter Park; they are about an hour south-west of Orlando for six months of the year.
Laura – very neat story! Love those “little things” that are so big to us because He cares enough to do them for us. (Side note: I love Winter Park, my aunt and uncle live there. =))
YES, Laura! and those are the times we must hold onto and bring to remembrance during the more silent times or times of doubt. I love that story and it was clearly from Him!
Love that story, Laura! How like the Lord to give you such an assurance that you were on His mind during your hard time of raw grief.
Laura- Such a beautiful story. I am sorry for the loss of your Mom and such a short time ago. It is clear the Lord had a plan to be with you alone on that flight for that precious moment that spoke to you so personally as the Lord so often does and in the way that only He can.
Laura, love the reassurance that was specifically significant to you….. He knows.
Laura, you shared so often and so much about your mom on this blog, I know how special she was to you and how much you loved her. I am with you – that was not a coincidence about what was in that flight magazine…that was the Lord!
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul. When my husband called me from his Army training to tell me that he would be deployed right after we moved to Georgia. Oh how my mother and I cried together. My mind raced with all the “what ifs.” I felt that I had already lost him. This was before God awakened my heart to Him and I wasn’t really seeking Him but He still came and spoke. I cried myself to sleep that night with a stomach ache from anxiety, even though hubs hadn’t even left yet! And I cried out to God, “If this is Your will please just give me peace.” And I woke with a still heart the next morning. I am amazed looking back that though I was so ignorant and spoiled in my faith He still ministered to me, He gave me the feeling of His promise before I knew how to claim His promises! And now He still calls me, every day, deeply, to come and speak His truth. To turn my back on the things that would tangle my mind with other thoughts, my idols that devour. I used to be that dock, broken, cracked, washed away. But He is rebuilding me, and this time it is truly on a rock of solid Jesus truth.
I loved the same comment that you made, which Dee quoted…now making Jesus your solid rock. I’m so glad He doesn’t leave us where we are, but brings us to the point of making Him are everything.
Oh Jill! The peace in the morning….how sweet it is.
Jill, Such encouraging words: I used to be that dock, broken, cracked, washed away. But He is rebuilding me, and this time it is truly on a rock of solid Jesus truth. So thankful that He rebuilds and remakes……. That the potter remains at the wheel.
Jill, thank you for sharing what a powerful metaphor that washed-away dock is to your own life…how your old foundation was cracked and broken, and washed away, but now you are building on The Rock. That is a picture worth remembering!
I am so moved by the picture of Steve (especially knowing the story of the love he gave Annie) and his taking his soul in his hand. It inspires me to continue doing the same in these troublesome times. His promise is always good, His promise is always strong.
Jill — beautiful testimony, closing with these words:
I used to be that dock, broken, cracked, washed away. But He is rebuilding me, and this time it is truly on a rock of solid Jesus truth.
And thank you, dear one.
OH DEE! This post is so powerful I know I cannot fully respond before heading off to Church–but it has called to my heart–so often He uses your words, His truth through you, to be the voice of “deep calls to deep”. SO moved by the picture of the grand kids on the dock, and then the devastation of the dock–the picture you took on the anniversary of Steve’s death…but then I scrolled on to my favorite picture, of Steve beside the tree. This is how I most often picture him. Alone with His Lord, and though he is wrestling, he is fully surrendered..his demeanor says to me ‘not my will, but Thine’, and I cannot NOT cry! Oh the tears, they flow now, I will have to come back to this, love you so~
Your faithfulness in remembering astounds me.
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
Without going into detail, suffice it to say that my resignation as office manager from the 2-point lutheran parish was tumultuous. After working in this position for nearly 9 years, the day I resigned my position was unexpected…I certainly saw it coming, knew the day would come, but didn’t have any expectation that it would occur that day. The events of that particular day made it impossible for me to continue in the position; the deceit/deception had gotten to a pitch that I could no longer sit by and say/do nothing. My letter of resignation was promptly sent to each and every council member. Very shortly after, a special meeting of the church councils was called for early-mid Saturday afternoon by the pastors…I was not made aware of this meeting and therefore not allowed to be in attendance. One of my best “friends” served as treasurer of one church councils; she was well aware of the deceit and deceptions, but decided that to protect herself and her position, she would remain quiet and “go along”. Late Saturday afternoon I received a call from a councilman who informed me of the meeting and asked if he and his wife could come to my home. They came and spent a good portion of time with Greg and I; with them they brought a book on spiritual abuse. I wasn’t close with this councilman, I knew him but had no personal relationship with him. This is just one example of the Lord providing for me during this difficult time…there were many, many others. He led me to scripture that provided comfort, He provided supportive people to surround me (and the others who were casualties), He provided for other bible study and worship opportunities, He allowed me the opportunity to move into an employment position that I thoroughly enjoy… The Lord is still tending and providing for this wounded area of my heart…it has slowly become a scar.
That is a great story, Nanci and I think I have a book on spiritual abuse that someone recently loaned me, which I just have not gotten to reading yet. Now maybe I’ll make that the next one I crack!
Nanci, I love hearing that God sent someone to comfort you in my difficult and painful situation, a kiss for sure. These stories of God coming, specifically, specially….I have goosebumps and a thrill. Nanci, this is a story I would someday love to hear more of as it has the “echo” of a mighty work from Him! =) when we all do meet it will have to be at least for a week to catch up on all these “details.”
Nanci…..thanks for sharing this experience with us. I am sorry that you were a casualty of nasty and abusive church politics. That is a deep, deep hurt. So glad to hear of the council member who opened up to you and came alongside and for the ways the Lord has brought you to another place and healing has been happening.
Nanci, I have never heard of “spiritual abuse.” It has me curious now and will need to check it out. I’m so glad that person came to you and cared enough to want to help you heal. What a true friend he was Even though you didn’t know him well. Thank you Jesus for giving this man to Nanci in her time of pain.
Nanci – not only did I love your shared story (and every SINGLE other story shared by our sisters! I’m really quite overcome….), but it suddenly zinged me back to your prayer request of several weeks ago on the prayer page: you were facing a “vote” at work of who your new boss would be….it was delayed (did it ever happen?)…oh Nanci, what you have shared here makes that particular prayer request EVER so much more poignant! Reminds me of the spectacular photo of the iceberg Dee posted several weeks ago….because underneath the request was the HUGE and substantial portion of the iceberg….even in this “little” way of loving you more fully through the Spirit, I am experiencing “deep calling to deep”. Beautiful.
Nanci, Thank you for sharing this wonderful story of tender care and provision.
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
Okay, first, let me just say, Dee, you threw me off by not asking “what stood out from the above and why?”!!! 🙂 So, for tradition sake, I want to share that anyway! That beautiful pic of your grandkids standing on what appears to be a firm foundation and how so many things in life can have the illusion of that, until God chips away at all of those false foundations and we see that He is really it.
Now my answer to #1. I think I probably already shared this when I was diagnosed with the recurrence of my breast cancer back in July. This news (stage 4 cancer) has been the most devastating of my life, thus far, but overall, I have had in incredible peace, which is totally the Lord. He has “called” to my heart in numerous ways during this time. I have felt a closeness at certain times, like never before. One of the first things I sensed Him saying to me, even before I was certain of the diagnosis (though I knew it was likely) was a gentle, “Don’t be afraid, there is no reason to fear.” I bet Steve knew that before his death as well…for the Believer there is no reason to fear either way. God may heal, entirely, but even if He doesn’t, there is no reason to fear. I pray that I will be able to speak those words to my soul down the road when storms come.
Oh Mary….I do pray He heals completely. You are a testimony! You encourage me with your words, “for the Believer there is no reason to fear either way. God may heal, entirely, but even if He doesn’t, there is no reason to fear.”
‘There is no reason to fear’.…..just five words but so powerful coming from you, who are going through such a difficult journey. Your trust in the God who holds your hand, is of great significance to those around you. Your words really make me stop and think about the things that kept me awake during the night. “There is no reason to fear’. Blessings today, dear Mary.
Mary E.–I am so drawn to your heart. The more I hear from you, the more I see Him in you–and I am reminded that there is nothing quite as beautiful, to me, as a heart that has been tested through such trials and remains steadfast in His hands. Your cancer, that backdrop Keller talked about, the dark sky, that allows us to see the rainbow. We must have the dark to see the light. So thankful for your example of faithfulness Mary, so beautiful.
Mary- Such a testimony of the peace and strength that only the Lord can provide during such a huge challenge in your life. What he spoke to you “Do not be afraid there is no reason to fear” is so encouraging.
Oh, dear Mary e….what an inspiring witness you provide….thank you for sharing this difficult journey with us, allowing us to witness your confidence and trust in our Lord…what a gentle, kind Lord we have…”Don’t be afraid, there is no reason to fear”.
Mary, you are such a model for keeping our eyes focused on our Lord. Thank you for helping us to remember who is really in charge of our lives. He brings calm in the middle of our storms. It is our job to be ready to receive the peace. You have done so, precious sister.
Mary e ~ Thank you for telling more of your story. This is so comforting to hear. May our God continue to encourage you and sustain you with this peace that passes understanding.
Oops…wrong place.
What stands out and why? Everything in the intro stirs my heart. The way Dee continues to weave the lessons she has learned over the years of living without Steve as well as that strong foundation she had while he was here. Her foundation goes deeper than the relationships with those she loves here, because it has withstood the losses and it remains. Even though the foundations were cracked and deeply shaken. Dee’s story and continuing journey is one of leading others (us) to talk to our souls because she has walked the journey…..(the catchphrase, ‘if you talk the talk, you must walk the walk’ applies). It occurs to me that ‘talking the talk’ isn’t just what we say to others and how we present our lives verbally….in a greater sense, it’s how we talk to our souls…..how we allow our relationship with Jesus to grow deeper and stronger. That’s what allows us to ‘walk the walk’. Of course, I love the photo of Steve and more of Dee’s descriptions of the man he was. And, the happy news on the 5th anniversary of his death. And the symbolic number 8. (This is wonderful to me also, because my dear mother left for heaven on October 8th. I did not think of how the numeral itself, represents eternity). Dee, you are so thoughtful and deliberate in how you weave these lessons together. I love that you took the photo of the current state of the dock on October 16th this year. It does tell me that, of course, your life will never be the same without Steve and the 10th anniversary re-emphasizes that. BUT your real foundation, the Rock of Ages…..has not moved.
When we finished Psalm 41, I jumped right into Psalm 42 and 43 because I didn’t want the psalms to end right then. I worked on memorizing 42 and will come back to that now. This week is a perfect one to speak to my downcast soul. I read through the rest of last week’s comments late last night and wrote about how Jackie’s testimony of coming back to the Lord after years of rebellion gave me both hope and tears, for my own children. My two oldest kids as well as my son’s wife all knew the Lord when they were young. (I don’t know what my daughter’s boyfriend knows/thinks/internalizes regarding Christianity as I don’t think he had much of it in his background). So really, I have 4 kids (2 of my own) who are on my heart constantly, in regard to their salvation. I commented that a couple weeks ago, I told a friend that right now, I can no longer even imagine them returning to the Lord. I have lost the vision of what that would look like, because it has been so long and they have chosen philosophies and values that are so far from the Word. I realize that I’ve brought this sorrow up many times on the blog. And I know so many others here have similar sorrows. I say this, not to get sympathy, but to say that I am so ready for a week of looking at how we can take hold of our downcast soul and learn from the psalms and from the Lord.
(OH and until I just now read Mary’s comment, I didn’t realize there wasn’t a ‘What stood out and why?’ question. Guess I like the routine also! Oh well…..there is is anyway.)
Wanda My heart is with you, You are not alone. The Lord had given me this scripture for some friends grieving for their son many years ago. Little did I know it would also be for me in the future.
Thus says the Lord:
“A voice was heard in Ramah,Lamentation and bitter weeping,Rachel weeping for her children,Refusing to be comforted for her children,Because they are no more.”
16 Thus says the Lord:
“Refrain your voice from weeping,And your eyes from tears;For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord,And they shall come back from the land of the enemy.17 There is hope in your future, says the Lord,That your children shall come back to their own border. Jeremiah 31:15-17
We serve the God of all comfort.
Thanks, Liz. There are several of us walking this road and I’m sure not any of us expected to be on this particular sorrow filled journey. I surely did not. Sometimes, my daily prayer is ‘Lord, please bring them safely to heaven’. Not that I am asking for their lives to be cut short (as if they died now, I don’t know what their future would be)….but because I have prayed all the specifics (bring someone into their lives, have them read this book, have them quit this job, may they consider attending this event…..etc) and I have seen one after the other answered in the negative. So often, I have no prayer but ‘in your mercy, bring them back’. I surely do not see a clear path for that to happen anymore……and that is as it should be. We are in a walk of faith.
Hmmm, Wanda, my mom also passed on the 8th of March. I need to go back and recognize it’s significance….
Wanda ~ Your discouragement and heartache are understandable. Sometimes it is just really hard to hold out hope. I love Michael Cards teachings available on youtube about “Lament as Worship”. (mentioned them here last summer I think) There are about 7 parts, each one about 10 minutes. Life can be such a wilderness…… Tears are sometimes the only authentic response. Michael’s teaching is truly life-giving.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr3mNGtxd-I
First of all, I want to thank Jackie and Wanda for their supportive words to me near the end of last week’s blog, and for asking about my husband’s status. John is continuing to recover, but he had a set back about 10 days ago, when he fell while we were walking the mall (for our health, ironically!) He had just finished walking the entire mall without taking a break (for the first time since his mini-stroke). We were headed toward the exit of the mall, when out of nowhere there seemed to appear three teenage girls right in John’s path. If he had come to a full stop, probably the accident wouldn’t have happened, but he tried to dodge around them. He dodged, and they dodged, but he went down face-forward on the mall floor. He hit his face and split his lip, placed a gash under one eye, and has a yellowish bruise on one cheek yet. Had to have 5 stitches in his upper lip. “When we saw our primary care physician last Thursday, another round of physical therapy was ordered up, and that will undoubtedly help his balance.
Now to address the ice breaker question:
When my father died there were just a myriad of things that mysteriously developed surrounding that time, all of them showing us that God was guiding us steadily. Personally I had just gone through an uproar at work, when the hospital wanted all of us medical transcribers to start taking a turn working weekends (both Sat. and Sun.) The main supervisory personnel in the Medical Records dept. were extremely set on this, and no alternative I tried to suggest was acceptable to them. I was a Sunday School teacher and an Elder, and couldn’t be finding substitutes for myself every time I had to work the weekend. Finally, I decided to resign, and then turn around and apply as a per diem employee. That way I could pick my days to work. I had just accomplished that arrangement, when my father died. If I had still been a regular employee, I would have been given two days grief leave for a parent’s funeral. As it was, I was able to spend three weeks with my grieving mother after the funeral. All that happened just in time! My brother had not owned a suit for several years, but he somehow got the urge to buy one a week before Dad died. Dad had wanted to take the car to the service garage in the morning (morning after he died that night). The service garage had wanted him to bring the car the night before, but Dad declined. If he had taken it in the night before, Mom would not have had a car to drive to the hospital when he was taken by Rescue Squad (where he was pronounced dead). Dad had recently gotten all the paperwork in great shape in the last month before he died — big help to all of us! All in all, by now I am sure you are getting my drift — God knew and God prepared and provided!! We all remarked about the events, and each one of us gathered some peace even as we went through the funeral events.
Oh Deanna. So sorry to hear of further troubles for John. =/ praying that he continues to mend and recover even after this recent set back.
Deanna……that is a great example of how the Lord cares about the details of our lives! And of how He is there ahead of us, during the times when we would probably have a hard time sorting through the details on our own.
I hope the therapy appointments help John with strength and balance. What a setback that was for him. No wonder you haven’t been so regular on the blog lately. (in addition to all that you wrote has been happening). Truly do hope this is a quiet and uneventful week for you.
Deanna, I too was just wondering how John was as I passed the prayer request on the FB page the other day. So sorry he got in the tangle with the teens 🙁 will pray for healing and PT to be successful.
Deanna – as I was reading your account of the incident at the mall….my eyes getting wider and my heart beating faster….I couldn’t help but see that God has graced you with an unbelievable good humor. My goodness, when you had previously shared about your hectic week – lots and lots of appointments….who of us was picturing THAT story???? SO thankful that John is soldiering on even after the literal bump in the road! And that dratted Proverbs 31 woman who makes me feel like such a slug……well, I see YOU all over that passage – John is SO BLESSED to have you as his ezer.
Deanna,
Thank you for sharing these remarkable events surrounding your father’s death.
Such a comfort to you and your family.
Deanna, I’m so sorry that John took such a hard fall that required stitches…thankful no broken bones, though…I’ll keep the both of you in my prayers!
That is a great testimony to God’s faithfulness, Deanna, and I am sorry to hear about your husband’s recent fall. I’m praying right now for his recovery from both the stroke and the fall.
Thanks to all my blog sisters for your support and prayers–I am so appreciative!!
Laura, what an amazing story of God reminding you of His presence and care for you just when you needed it most! My parents died in 2011, just 10 weeks apart. On the flight to Grand Rapids for Dad’s funeral, God gave me a special gift as well. There was only one empty seat on that plane, and it was the one next to me – allowing me to be alone with my thoughts. Mary – thank you for sharing your deeply moving story. As I follow Kara Tippitt’s blog (Mundane Faithfulness) and pray for her (same diagnosis), I will lift you up as well. Jackie – what can I say? It is so clear that you are a truly special gift to all of the women here with your tremendous gift of encouragement. Thank you. Dee, I got the CD of Steve’s service some years ago and have listened to it a number of times. That, and your book God of All Comfort (which I have given to many people over the years!) make me feel like I knew him. I am so drawn to gentle, soft-spoken men . The story you told of how his clinic staff cried when he told them of his diagnosis spoke volumes, as did the story of him sitting patiently in the Emergency Room with internal bleeding, while others with non-life-threatening illnesses were angry and demanding. Farside Banks of Jordan has become a favorite bluegrass tune that I love to play and sing! Thank you for sharing your husband with all of us.
Beth – don’t miss Joyce’s comment below…..she and Dee go WAY back…..and you will be BLESSED!
I see that Beth has already commented on the huge impact that Dee’s God of All Comfort has had on her. As I read the opening now I couldn’t help but want to recommend Dee’s book to everyone. She talks about Psalm 42 and 43 in that book as well as about Steve and so much more – soooo good.
Mom,
Thanks for sharing the thoughts on eternity that the Lord shared with me regarding the convergence of Dad’s 10th homegoing anniversary, and the eighth (mystery) day of the Feast of Tabernacles. Part of the feel of this eighth day is this longing from both Israel (and anyone who loves Jesus) for God to remain with us. This, of course, is the longing of God’s heart.
In Luke 24, which contains The Road to Emmaus Story, Jesus “made as though” he was going to continue on without them. The disciples react….
28 And they drew nigh unto the village, whither they went: and he made as though he would have gone further.
29 But they constrained him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. And he went in to tarry with them.
______________________________________
Happy Birthday to my brother John…tomorrow!
Love,
J.R. (& Dianne)
J.R. – what an unexpected TREAT to see you pop in here! Luke 24:29 is like an arrow to my soul this morning. For oh, how He did tarry with them…..breaking bread with them and opening their eyes….opening the Scriptures to them….O Lord Jesus, please grant us all the burning hearts only You can impart.
Amen – Jackie – a beautiful prayer.
You are such an encouragement to me, J. R. and Dianne!
This is powerful, J.R. May that longing be front and center all the time in us and may we be quick to ask Jesus to stay longer.
Also, congratulations J.R. and Dianne on your marriage.
1. In Psalm 42:1-2, what is the image? What do the streams of living water that the psalmist is trying to find represent? The image is of a deer needing water. Panting represents a dire need as they are thirsty enough to have physical manifestations of the lack of water. The deer’s life depends on finding that water. I will never forget how Dee describes this in God of All Comfort. (I do hope this isn’t a spoiler for anyone.) The deer is dehydrated, needing water, but must risk its life to come to the stream bed to drink. This is how much we need God, to lay down our life to take part in Him and His presence. Dee says it much better than I, but this has stuck with me for Psalm 42. The streams of water represent God’s presence, “where can I go and meet with God?” Our lives not only depend on finding this water but then we must humble ourselves, as the deer widens her stance and lowers her head, to drink. To trust God enough to stop looking around, trying to find things fearful and just quench our thirst with Him, His presence. Trust.
This deep calls to deep: I used to come to His presence but not drink deeply, even though the water offered very deep satisfaction, I only received what I drank, shallow, short drinks. But now He draws me close and I drink deep, and the more He teaches, the more He refines, the deeper He touches and the deeper the water quenches. The water becomes sweeter the longer I drink.
Jill – I love how you bring out attention to the vulnerability of the deer drinking at the stream! SO MUCH packed in that picture! 🙂 Well said.
We sang this hymn, God moves in a mysterious way (W. Cowper) today at Church and it seemed fitting for this week:
God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform.
He plants his footsteps on the sea, And rides upon the storm.
He plants his footsteps on the sea, And rides upon the storm.
Ye fearful saints fresh courage take, The clouds you so much dread,
Are big with mercy, and shall break, With blessings on your head.
Are big with mercy, and shall break, With blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, But trust him for his grace.
Behind a frowning providence, He hides a smiling face.
Behind a frowning providence, He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fast, Unfolding every hour.
The bud may have a bitter taste, But sweet will be the flower.
The bud may have a bitter taste, But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err, And scan His work in vain.
God is His own interpreter, And He will make it plain.
God is His own interpreter, And He will make it plain.
Elizabeth….I do so love the words to this hymn. It’s one I have referenced back to during some times of questioning in my heart. Thanks for sharing. I especially like these lines.. What imagery!
Ye fearful saints fresh courage take, The clouds you so much dread,
Are big with mercy, and shall break, With blessings on your head.
Wanda–I love how you know the old hymns so well! You and Diane both seem to always know these great old hymns…I love them for their focus on God’s power and holiness, so rich. And I am praying for your children to come back to their First Love. Sometimes when we are too weary to pray the same prayer any longer, we can rest in knowing others are praying–know that we are Wanda, and He hears. His timing is not ours, but it is good.
I love this, Elizabeth, thanks for sharing. I like the same line that Wanda pointed out! Sometimes blessings come out of what appears to be the worst of circumstances.
1.Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
It’s really hard for me to choose just one, I feel like He continually meets me, speaks to me the way only He knows how to do, and touches the deepest places in my darkest times. Usually through music, often through Scripture—even this morning at Church, one verse seemed to leap out and meet my very concern. A few most recent times that come to mind—my youngest is struggling with a neurological disorder that I feel helpless to control. He loves to listen to my husband’s old Steven C. Chapman CD’s and every night he goes to sleep playing them. One night recently, I had been reading at least 3 hours about his condition and finally went upstairs to bed. I stopped in his room to pray beside his bed as he slept, and the moment, honestly the second my knees hit the ground, a song called “I will carry you to Jesus…on my knees…’cause He’s everything you need…” came on the CD player, and I wept so uncontrollably it’s amazing I didn’t wake him. I wrote the words in my journal because I truly felt the Lord speaking to my heart in that moment “I have him”. Since that night, I can count at least 6 times that I have come upstairs to bed and heard that same song playing as I passed his room—I even asked my husband one night if it was on “repeat”, but it wasn’t—God just knew I needed to hear this truth over and over. Another time that comes to mind was this summer. I was on vacation and 2 days earlier received a frightening to me diagnosis, but had to wait for a 2nd opinion. I felt fear gripping me to the point of physical nausea. In a rare moment of free time, I peeked in an antique store, with no plans to buy anything. The first thing that caught my eye was a stack of old piano music, and on the top, the hymn “Abide With Me”, printed in 1903. Frugal me couldn’t pass it up for 0.25! I have it framed outside my bedroom door. It is the first thing I see in the morning, and the last thing at night. “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.” Psalm 139:5
Elizabeth- First of all I love how you still use your full name a name we share. I lost the Elizabeth in about 2nd grade but I still love the name. Thank you for sharing the beautiful words of the hymn from this morning. The story of how the Lord spoke to you in that moment after 3 hours of reading about your sons condition which probably brought along with it some great concern was so powerful of a testimony of the Lord touching you in that moment and bringing your eyes back to HIM. I too like Mary will look up that song.
This is such a gift of a sisterhood, isn’t it?! you all are so encouraging–I’m always amazed/humbled anyone takes time to read any of what I post–I feel most of it is such foggy mess, but I learned early on, if I don’t hold myself accountable to answer each question online, I will completely slack off the study!Here is the link to the song I mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONtCAf-wqAI
Elizabeth, wow. Just wow. He is so good and sweet and does come bounding over the mountains over the sea….beautiful.
I love that story, Elizabeth. I know what it’s like to read for hours about a child’s health condition and the knots in my stomach that always follow. That He blessed you at that moment with a beautiful song and a cleansing cry is such a touch from His loving hand.
Elizabeth, this is just beautiful…I can clearly picture the scene in my mind, of you kneeling by your son’s bed to pray, and the song playing at just that moment…and you, weary after three hours of reading about his condition. Certainly the Lord’s presence was right there with you, reassuring you, loving both of you. You are a wonderful mom to your children in the way you faithfully pray and give them to Him.
Okay, I got teary reading how God used that song your son had playing in his room, Elizabeth, and now I’m going to have to google that and see if I can listen to it on youtube maybe. Such a sweet testimony, Elizabeth. I want to read everyone’s answer to this first question because it encourages my heart to hear testimonies of God’s faithfulness to each of His beloved Children. And these are the very things we should be sharing to encouraging each other.
Dee thank you for sharing more of your husband Steve You bringing everything together and what you share does minister to me. I love visuals and showing the before and then the current state of the dock was very powerful, even as I type I cannot help but think of the Twin Towers. Any other foundation aside from the Lord can one day topple. He is the only solid foundation we can truly stand on. The words of Steve to Annie as he was talking to his own soul and how he had to talk to his soul thru his illness and hearing Marys testimony here I can only imagine. I have had some scares that got me only close to what they may be like.
Share a time when Deep called to Deep when in a time of sorrow or anxiety the deep voice of God spoke deep to your soul. I have many examples I could use here but the one that jumped out first in my mind was back Mothers Day weekend on 1997. I had only been new in my commitment to follow Christ at the time and we received a call in the very early hours of the morning that my younger sister had been in a serious car accident. She had been badly injured but we were told she was going to be okay. I was getting ready to leave and got another call that things were far worse than had been expected as she had far more internal injuries than what had been previously thought. We had a 24 hour period with her in the hospital with her never regaining consciousness before she died. The prayers of so many people for us at that time were felt so strongly with the Lords arms wrapped all over me. This along with the time of prayer that I had for my sister all alone in that hospital room was a HUGE turning point for my own faith and a greater anchor to my relationship with Him. The power felt from those prayers and the greater depth I had in my faith coming through that was life changing to me and has given me such a strong desire to intercede for the needs of others.
Oh Liz, this encourages me so much in my prayers for others. Such a neat testimony of how He allows us to participate with each other, it is a mystery but a lovely one that gives Him glory!
Heart rending, Liz. Such an amazing testimony of God’s holding you as His child, even though it was so early in your walk with Him. What a beautiful way, He reassured you. I am sad to hear of the loss of your sister so young. What a poignant and moving memory you have of praying alone with your sister…..it has certainly helped to shape you into a compassionate intercessor.
Oh Liz, I am so grieved by your story–so sorry for the loss of your sister–amazed at how you have allowed that painful time to be a marker of when your faith grew richer and you fell deeper into His arms. You have allowed Him to bring beauty from ashes…and I love how while the prayers of many did not bring healing on this side for your sister, they brought healing to your soul–His calling to you in the deep (oh and I too officially lost ‘elizabeth’ to “lizzy” in 2nd grade!, but just go by elizabeth here on the blog!)
Liz, I’m so sorry to read about the loss of your sister, but so encouraged to read about God’s faithfulness in coming to you during that time. He is so good.
Liz, I too am sorry that you lost your sister in such a tragic way. How gently the Lord kept you, so new in your faith, by drawing you even nearer to Himself.
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
Many have shared precious stories about God meeting them when a parent died. I have shared some of those stories before (my dad lying on his bed, dying of cancer and my brother asking him if he was afraid and dad responding, by looking at the painting of Jesus the Good Shepherd holding the lamb and telling us that, ‘when Satan tempts him to fear, he remembers that he is the lamb in Jesus’ arms’…….also when my mom, who had been the church pianist for decades and who played records and sang Christian music almost constantly in our home, breathed her last at exactly 10:45 on a Sunday morning…and both my sister and I turned to each other and said, ‘she made it in time for the prelude.’ That was the precise moment that she always began playing a piano prelude during her years of serving as pianist.) If you’ve been here awhile, you’ve heard those stories. Today, I remembered another. I was 37 when my dad died…..and had 3 elementary school kids and a baby. He died at the end of June. One lovely summer evening, not long afterward, I was standing at my window breathing in the most beautiful sunset. And suddenly the tears came. And I so strongly felt, ‘it’s not fair. Dad is missing this. And he’s also missing my kids and they-him.” And honestly, this is the only time, I have ever felt the Lord’s voice so strongly, that it seemed audible to me. I heard clearly, ‘but don’t you know? Eye has not seen and ear has not heard. Neither has it entered into the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love him” (I Cor. 2:9) and from that moment on, though I grieved for months and years…..I never felt the regret or remorse over what dad was missing having left us. (although I still have moments of wishing he were here for ‘our sake’…..like when my baby daughter grew up and played high school basketball (his favorite spectator sport) and almost always had a game on his birthday. At times like that, I surely wonder if those who’ve gone before can see us here. But since time does not having constraints in heaven….perhaps he is/has/will experience watching all of those basketball games from paradise)…….
oh Wanda, such rich, deep memories–wow this is a tear-jerking week already! I o love the stories of your parents–what a rich heritage you have. But whatthe Lord gave you as you gazed at the sunset–brings a new depth for me to 1 Cor. 3:9. That is powerful!
Wanda, I love all three of these stories. I remember the one about your dad and Jesus carrying the Lamb, but not the one about your mom, nor the one where God spoke to you so clearly. I think probably those who are now with the Lord have the “best of both worlds” so-to-speak. Like maybe the do see whatever the want to of what goes on down here, but they see it with eternal perspective, already knowing how things will turn out, with no sadness. (but I could be wrong!) Anyway, you had some wonderful, Christian parents and I’m sure that the testimony of there lives still lingers in the minds and hearts of each of your kids, even the two older ones who have walked away from the Lord. I am looking forward to the day when you post on here that they have returned. =)
I sure like your thinking, Mary!
Wanda, I remember those stories of your dad and the picture of Jesus and when your mom died and guess what (I think I speak for all) I don’t get tired of hearing them again and again! They are wonderful memories and thank you for sharing them with us! And this new story of God speaking to you as you looked at the sunset, removing the regret and remorse over what your dad was missing…well, it’s just beautiful.
The story that Dee shared of Steve and the things he said to Annie touch my heart deeply.
My heart is overflowing with the promises of Psalm 42, and the sadness of loss when God is very close.
My loss of my Dad when I was but very small and I do not remember him at all was very significant to me throughout my childhood.
I felt God’s presence and always turned to him in sad times, as my Abba. His loving care brought me through the questions that I had.
Why? was always my question. Then as my Mother suffered with dementia and I cared for her, I wondered Why? God was my constant guide and now I know that she is at peace finally and with my Dad after many years alone.
Each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs…Yes, he is with me through all my fear and anxiety. Hope fills my heart.
Shirley, that picture of your parents re-united after so many long years apart, is such a rich one. I remember what you wrote last week, how your mother so tenderly cared for you and chose not to re-marry and it just blesses me to think of them together again where it is all perfect and pain is gone.
Each of the stories you have shared are such an encouragement to me and speak of God’s presence through times of distress, through illnesses that are life-threatening and when we grieve for our children who are walking away from the Lord and when they are struggling.
Thanks to each one, and especially, Dee, for your sharing of the story of Steve and all that he represents of spiritual strength.
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
The introduction and this question bring back so many memories. What Steve told Annie as he was speaking to his own soul brings tears to my eyes…and then my own memories of God speaking deeply to my soul. Deep breath. How do I pick one? It would be hard enough to choose one; but the memories associated with times when “deep called to deep” are so mixed together in my emotions right now that I can’t separate them. As I think back, I know God spoke to deep parts of my soul, even when I was too sick to comprehend the depth to which his voice penetrated. During the years I’ve participated in this Bible Study, I gradually have learned to listen more closely when He is speaking. I am recognizing His voice — and He is speaking to those deep, painful places right now. So many parts of the intro bring my heart right to God’s promises and my hope in Him (I’ll stick with this VERY recent time — not so articulate WHEN He is touching me at a deep level)
I remember when we studied “deep calls to deep” before (in the God of All Comfort ?). At that time, I found the song “Deep Calls to Deep” arranged by Steve Bell. I just listened to it again now. As many times as I listened before, I only remembered the first verse. Because of what we’ve studied and how I’ve changed since I first heard this, the other verses are jumping out at me now. Here are the lyrics (they EXPLAIN why I am overwhelmed now. I am remembering many of the times when “Deep Called to Deep”:
Oh Renee, that is a really beautiful song. I’m so glad you shared it here. Now I’m going to have to see if I can find a link to listen to it!
I like it with the symphony 🙂 (can’t find the one I used to watch, but this sounds the same) http://youtu.be/onQtAJMub2g Someone plays a didgeridoo at the beginning — fun to watch, too, if you can find the right one.
I loved the symphony also…..but I will have to look up ‘didgeridoo’! Do not know this!
The didgeridoo is an Australian aboriginal instrument – very difficult to play properly, as it requires a circular breathing technique.
Wonderful song, Renee. I have never heard it. Keeping it bookmarked this week. Thinking of you as you re-live and re-learn the lessons that stirred your soul from this passage before.
What a mystery and assurance at the same time.
Thanks for the description of the instrument above, Kerryn. I also didn’t know it originated in Australia 🙂
Beautiful lyrics, Renee…this stands out to me, “And each rare moment I felt His presence I shall remember and forever cherish”. So true.
1. In Psalm 42:1-2, what is the image?
a thirsty deer panting for water
What do the streams of living water that the psalmist is trying to find represent? the living God — who understands and cares
2. The psalmist says he is not finding God. He is like a deer dying for water who comes all the way down from the mountain and finds the riverbed dry. What water image is in verse 3? tears How is this a true lament? From blog, Jan 13, 2010: http://deebrestin.com/2010/01/beginning-to-learn-how-to-pray-a-psalm-of-lament/ 3 parts to a lament (time to memorize these 3 parts!!):
1. The lament — the honest complaint or cry of your sorrowing fearful heart The psalmist writes about tears being his food day and night, and the tears taunt him, asking “where is your God.”
2. Remembering God’s goodness in the past. The Spirit brings to the psalmists remembrance God’s faithfulness to Israel or to him as an individual. He also brings to his remembrance God’s character. The Spirit does not explain the why of the circumstances, but the heart of God. The psalmist is panting, thirsting for the living God; this indicates he would be remembering God. V. 3 Even the question “Where is your God?” implies remembering God. V. 4 is a description of intentionally, purposefully remembering.
3. The prayer, based now on faith in God, or the resolve, based on faith in God. V. 1 “the living God” and “when shall I come & appear before God?” are hints of this. Vs. 5 & 11 are crystal clear: “Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”
3. Look carefully and see if you can find hidden in this verse 3 the classic signs of depression. (weeping, not sleeping, not eating). “My tears [weeping] have been my food [tears instead of food being his food] day and night” [he’s aware of tears rather than sleeping at night]
Renee – this recap of the three parts is so very helpful! Thank you. Good answers, too, you helped me process. =)
Dee, as I have read the comments, I too have discovered that you didn’t ask for what stood out to us. It hadn’t occurred to me! I also feel compelled to answer the unasked question. The photo of Steve in his place of contemplation down by the docks is such a touching (tearful) scene. Of course, I didn’t know Steve, but having heard his story and seeing this photo, I find myself trying to feel what he felt as he leaned against the tree in his robe in obvious deep contemplation. Even with Christ’s reassurances and promises, it would still be so tough to say goodbyes to one’s spouse and children. Your being willing to share these personal times with us shows your strength of soul, and you can be assured that it is so meaningful for all of us on this blog!
Now on a lighter tone, I want you to know that you have something in common with the exercise instructor on my exercise video (which I should use more often). His name is Gilad, and he tells us that we are doing a particular exercise to the count of eight, and then at six, he says “only four more times!” You, on the other hand, have worked in two #10 questions. 🙂
And two #1 questions as well. That makes 18 questions numbered 1 thru 16, but there are not many with multiple parts.
4. Find another causal factor to depression in verse 4. no longer participating in worship, praise at the house of God (he used to lead the processions). Ok, I’m not liking where this is going, but it takes some effort to throw a temper tantrum.
5. Often, when facing an enormous trial, we want to withdraw. Have you felt that way? Yes, I like to withdraw — for almost any reason. I don’t think that “it’s too much work to get dressed” (especially when the clothes were ready the night before) counts as an enormous trial though. Why is that one of the worst things you can do? hmmm… having a hard time distinguishing between withdrawal and wanting space (maybe there isn’t a difference?). When I cross over into what clearly is withdrawal, my perspective becomes distorted and the I am more likely to believe lies. In contrast, worship together with other believers focuses me on God and His truth. Plus, I usually like being around people (I just don’t remember that when I think it is too much work to leave the house). It’s time for some hard-core soul talk based on Psalms; I have been withdrawing. The only reason I haven’t withdrawn from everything is because I would be unfair to others if I cancelled at the last minute. What I’ve told my soul hasn’t helped.
Still not enjoying these withdrawal questions, but they came at the right time. Sometimes I suspect that, for me, withdrawal initially is a consequence of exhaustion rather than a cause of depression — but when I remain withdrawn, it does feed depression.
Thanks for sharing Renee. The thought especially at the end that the withdrawing could be from exhaustion but could feed into depression is I believe so true.
Agree with ‘not liking where this verse is going’ on number 4, Renee. I have found this verse bothersome to me. Bothersome because it is true and I feel it in my life. It has been a long time since I’ve felt joy and peace in corporate worship in my local church. And I know that we are made to worship and I do believe in corporate worship, so therein lies the rub.
Dee, this study could not be more timely for me. Last week I yielded my singleness wholly to God and learned some incredible truths through your study. My life, my very foundation has been upended in the last three months with all of my comfort zone removed and I’ve been barely hanging on. Your exhortation to speak truth to my soul like the psalmist did was very heartening and so encouraging. While I have had other “deep calling to deep” moments, I want to testify that god showed himself to be my comfort, my strong tower, indeed my only hope after speaking his truth to my soul. I feel his prescence so close and the despair I felt has lifted. Thank you for sharing this with me (us) to help me get the victory over this. I’m desperate for God to move in my life and Im pressing into him to fill all the empty spaces and be enough. I can’t wait to thank you personally one day.
May – reading your post this morning, I have the sense of standing on holy ground. God is doing some deep calling to deep work in your life and we SO appreciate you pulling back the curtains and letting us in on the wonder of His working in your life! Amen sister.
Reading Dee’s beginning brought tears again of Steve and that picture of him…in deep thought….really gets to me. Also, the picture of you, Dee and Steve is how I remember you both the best. You wore that dress a lot…even tho you could afford to buy new…you choose to help others (like myself and 3 little ones, living alone) instead of buying yourself nice things. You sacrificed for others…..both of you did. You were both humble, kind and loving.
You have been such an wonderful example of …..”The deep voice of God’s speaking deep into our souls.”
I’ve learnt so much from you through all the years…like 30 years!!
Love this…..” Jesus knows our sorrow will only last for the night and joy will come in the morning, yet He still cares about our nights, and will comfort His suffering child. And at times, deep will call to deep”.
But I know, no matter what happens…I trust him and know it’s for the best…..because he is my solid rock and will never bend or wash away.
I’ve enjoyed and cried with you all as you tell your stories of deep sorrow. I feel so tied to you all. Your truly my sisters in Christ.
Joyce – I was just reading comments this morning and trying to be a sponge…..I have been so teary reading EVERYONE’S tender stories. But the dam broke when I came to yours….”you wore that dress a lot….even though you could afford to buy new…you chose to help others (like myself and 3 little ones, living alone)”…..Joyce, you painted a picture of JESUS when you spoke so lovingly of Dee and Steve! For though He was rich, He made Himself poor…for us…..living alone…and helpless. THANK YOU.
There are few hearts as pure as yours, Joyce.
Thanks for sharing Joyce was a beautiful testimony.
There had been a split in the church, and for several months I hadn’t attended. It was too painful, and I was severely depressed. I started on AD medication, and for the first time, I felt able to go to church. John was so delighted to have me worshipping with him again, so he was particularly affectionate. I remember him standing close, gently rubbing my shoulders. It was also a special day, our son’s birthday and all the kids were coming round for a barbeque after church. We had a great day, with all the family together. Then in the afternoon, I went to play for a farewell service at a neighbouring church, while John stayed home to clear away. Friends who were at the service later noted that I looked different – “God’s hand was on you; you looked radiant”.
That was John’s last day on this earth… late that evening he had a heart attack, and was declared dead just after midnight.
Dee spoke of God speaking through a joy that came on a day of great sorrow. This is the reverse situation – a day of great joy and celebration that culminated in a huge tragedy. Yet, in so many ways God’s hand was evident in the joy and celebration, preparing us for the storm ahead. The timing was God’s – the first day I’d returned to church, the family all together. We didn’t plan that for John’s last day, but what could be better. My friend spoke truly when she said that God’s hand was on me that day. The deep voice of God speaking deep into my soul, assuring me that he was with me through everything. There’s a poem about Footprints in the Sand that talks about God carrying us through the difficult times – that day God picked me up and carried me because he knew I would not be able to walk through what was coming.
I’ve found the hiddenness of God’s ways so very difficult though. It is so hard to trust when the world is incomprehensible. I’m currently reading Keller’s book, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering. Joseph didn’t understand what God was doing when he was in prison, so it would have been difficult to trust that God hadn’t forgotten him.
Kerryn – absolute GOLD.
Kerryn I too loved hearing the rest of the story of the day you lost your husband. I am sorry for your loss. How precious what the Lord gave you that day in preparation for what was to come. And how wonderful you can look back and see that.
Oh Kerryn…..
Hearing more of the story of when John died deeply touches my heart. I am trying to think it through right now. How very, very hard (understatement) to have a wonderful day of celebration and the beginning of feeling more restored emotionally, end with profound loss and grief. You’re right. Such a huge reversal. I was impressed when you wrote a few weeks ago, of how John’s last day with you was such a good one and the healing (though it is ongoing) that has happened in your heart to be able to see and share that….but reading more of the story, stops me in my tracks. Surely, we never know what a day will bring. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Pure Gold. Yes.
Kerryn, I appreciate you sharing this part of your story – your bittersweet last day with your husband and how God carried you. That must be difficult to share, but your day was clearly a gift from God. Also, Keller’s book sounds interesting.
Kerryn, what you share here…I am so moved by your telling of the last day with your husband. “John was delighted to have me worshipping with him again…” And it was a special day of celebration for your son’s birthday and so all the family was together. And this, “…that day God picked me up and carried me because he knew I would not be able to walk through what was coming.” Thank you for sharing this treasure from your heart.
This may be a little off topic, but in my head it’s linked with what we’re looking at here. It’s from my reading in Keller today.
Joseph says to his brothers, as it were, “You tried to destroy me, but God used this cup of evil and suffering given to me to save many lives, including yours”… Joseph’s ability to see God’s hand behind even the bad things in his life enabled him to forgive. But Joseph, as great as he is, is just a forerunner… When we look at Jesus’ prayer, we see that he, like Joseph, says that this is “the Father’s cup”. The suffering is part of God’s good plan.
I’m having trouble with the bad things coming from God’s hand part. “God used this cup of evil and suffering” – I get that. But Keller goes further than that. Jesus said “Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?” The evil and suffering coming from God’s hand – I don’t get that.
Kerryn – You have told little bits of the blessing your last day with John was but to read the story in its entirety is amazing! What a wonderful testimony to His hand. Thank you for sharing.
I wanted to share that an important part of me understanding suffering coming from God’s hand was to realize that because He is all-powerful and all-knowing and in control then the suffering has to be within His control as well, even a passive control in “allowing” it would still mean that it was intentional. This took awhile for me to digest but it actually gave me more peace in the difficult times rather than the opposite, which is what I expected. It also makes Him bigger, in a sense. Just my two cents. You have walked through much suffering and I know it is a mental wrestle. Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts also was instrumental in this for me, as well. Very, very good book.
A side note: You commented on didgeridoo above … my husband was gifted an authentic aboriginal didgeridoo from Australia and can indeed play it as he is a talented musician who can circular breathe. He does little presentations on it for our kids’ classes and they all love it. =)
Jill – what a fun tidbit about your husband!! 🙂 And yes, yes, yes to the way you brought out that HE CHOOSES our suffering! If we think we are so wonderful to “allow” it – well – we’re still worshipping ourselves, then, aren’t we?? What an abundance of great thoughts you brought our way this morning through your posts!
I also don’t get that, Kerryn. I remember this topic being discussed in the lesson called ‘Lord of the Storm’ earlier this year. I left that week with questions.
But…..on the other hand, Jill…..your explanation does make more sense to me, than taking the statement ‘straight up’. Thanks. (Also loved hearing about your husband/musician. I am going to look up the didgeridoo and hear it for myself today 🙂 )
Kerryn,
I appreciate the testimony you shared above and how you see God’s hand.A couple of verses that strike me, possibly related to your question are:
I wonder if there is something about sharing in His sufferings, pressing into suffering — and acknowledging it as a gift, that unites us with Him. This may be like the “gift” of singleness we studied last week in that it is a gift because we can know that He is enough rather than some sort of superpowers to do more or to like difficult situations.
Oh I really like this answer, Renee. The Philippians passage helps me see the issue a lot more clearly. Thanks!
1. In Psalm 42:1-2, what is the image? What do the streams of living water that the psalmist is trying to find represent?
The deer needs water to live; they hunt for it often. We need God in our lives in the same manner. We, too should be hunting for Him always. His Word is a stream of living “water” guiding us through our lives.
2. The psalmist says he is not finding God. He is like a deer dying for water who comes all the way down from the mountain and finds the riverbed dry. What water image is in verse 3? How is this a true lament?
Tears….how often have I felt like He was not near me! That is a true lament; begging for Him to come near and stay with me.
3. Look carefully and see if you can find hidden in this verse 3 the classic signs of depression. (weeping, not sleeping, not eating).
Tears are his food, so he is crying and not eating. He cries day and night, which means he is awake all night.
4. Find another causal factor to depression in verse 4.
No joy or praise; sadness and sorrow.
1. In Psalm 42: 1&2, what is the image? What do the streams of living water that the Psalmist is trying to find represent?
“As the deer pants for the flowing streams” – that gets me to thinking: HOW am I like that deer and what is making the deer pant? AS the deer is NEEDY and DESPERATE for water, so am I!! The deer, it would seem to me, gets needy and desperate every day….just by going about it’s life as a deer! So I am needy and desperate every single day, just by going about my life, being me! Of course the deer is often the desired prey of other creatures and thus, needs to flee and escape – so I am in a spiritual battle every moment of my day and the battle will make me thirsty. There is nothing quite like thirst. Even hunger, as horrible as I’m told hunger can really be, pales in comparison to true thirst. We were built by God to have our thirst satiated many times throughout the day. We can fast from food for long periods of time – not so water.
And so….I think the Psalmist tells us what the streams of living water are: “God….the living God”. And so I’m running, I’m panting….the cares and sorrows of life have me simply unable to take another step without the streams of living water. I need the living God….Oh Lord, this day may none of us be satisfied by our “little” gods, our idols. May we run FROM our idols and TOWARD the living God. Help us to truly humble ourselves and rest and drink deeply of Your Living Water….Your Truth. Your Word.
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
God has come so often in so many whispering ways! I often find that He comes in the battles like Psalm 18 and sometimes He comes and intervenes in my selfish heart and I sense His peace and I just turn..and I just trust..I can’t really explain that.
He came yesterday like this giving me His peace in my situation here. I was in such turmoil inside when I got up to help my husband with his route Sunday morning because I realized what the cost would mean to me singing at church Sunday for I would have to give it up and I was frustrated (even though I will only sing 4 times this year). I realized also that I might have to give up teaching 5th grade as well. Yet if I help we could all go as a family to the 11:00 service and my husband could go too for he hasn’t been able to go to church since this job transition so me helping him with this job is helping Him spiritually. Yet I didn’t see that. I felt a flood of anxiety and frustration, “Lord do you want me to give up everything I do to serve you at church to do this? It doesn’t make sense that this would be what you want-even for a season?!?!? How can that be?!?” He came and like deep calls to deep and reminded me of the Gospel again, what He gave up for me to have me, and then..and this may sound silly…but He brought to mind Rich Mullins words when he said, “A spiritual thing is folding your clothes at the end of the day. A spiritual thing is making your bed. A spiritual thing is taking cookies to your neighbor that is shut in or raking their front lawn because they are too old to do it. That’s spirituality.” He just wants me to love my husband and my boys and not hold onto the things I have to give up to do so.
Then He brought to mind Psalm 103:19 His sovereignty rules over all..Regardless of what helping my husband on Sundays might mean to me He has this. Really it was in that that I realized how selfish I have been and I went to Him and repented..Is this life really not my own?? Lord Help me! This was so painful, yet at the same time SO freeing! 🙂 For when HE satisfies my soul I can trust Him in the things that don’t make sense..and I don’t have to try to control or worry or bow down to my approval idol who would put me in chains and whisper to me to be concerned about what others at church might think about our ‘season’ in life right now. When I hear Him and obey not listening to my approval idol telling me I need to run away from Him for He can’t truly make me happy. The freedom I experience is that I am curled up in His arms with His warm wings around me. Really there is no better place to be. He is helping me to step out in faith and trust Him in this, regardless of how this will turn out. Step by step, Sunday by Sunday..well really day by day. My husband was so tired I asked if I could drive while he finished..that is a huge turn around for me..that was ‘extra’ work..and I even told him, what a sweet opportunity to get to be with you. THAT is the LORD.
Rebecca, you always bless me sharing your internal turn towards God and how He always comes to You in return. Thank you.
Jill, you are always SO encouraging. It is still painful for I am not sure God is done with me yet in teaching-but this is just a season and I am trusting. I love those 5th graders, and I treasure those moments where I sensed His wind blowing and the kids were locked eyed on Him with me, and I sensed He was moving. And of course the other times when they were far off due to my son causing distractions on purpose, ;~) but oh what a privilege it has been!
Oh Rebecca….I hadn’t read your comment when I answered #5. WHAT a precious piece of sharing. You have ministered enormous grace to my heart right in this very moment! How I thank God for you! I SO identify with so much of what you have shared! Thanks too for that little Rich Mullins quote – so helpful to remember.
Jackie, I look forward to reading your comments! I have been so busy I haven’t been able to but yours always minister to me too. Isn’t it sweet when we answer a question and God lays it on another sister’s heart here on the blog too. 🙂 He does that often here it seems.
Rebecca thank you for sharing your story. Hearing about Idol lies is what brought me to this Blog but I have not yet finished the book or gone thru that study. I really feel a necessity to do that as I know I have idols in my heart. I have so far to go. It is so amazing when you see something occur in a situation such as what you experienced that you know was all the Lord. I loved hearing the words from Rich Mullins. The example you gave was one I needed to hear.
Sweet Liz, well I am so glad you are here with us! Truly God is present here and you will be encouraged. :)) So glad you are going through Idol Lies..God used that study to draw me back to Him..it is a huge stone of remembrance for me for how He rescued me once again. It sounds like He is coming to you too and if you can do the Bible Study-oh my.. Even if you can do it with a friend or two..I found His encouragement even sweeter with other women and we grew closer to one another as well.
Rebecca, I love this, “For when HE satisfies my soul I can trust Him in the things that don’t make sense..” so true! And it really seems that more things in the Christian live DON’T make human sense, than DO! I have done the same thing with God, “why would You want me to not be able to do this GOOD thing I want to do for You???” And it is really because He has something better He wants to do in me.
Mary..oooo…love this, “And it is really because He has something better He wants to do in me. “… So so so so so true. You could have said ‘something better He wants me to do for Him.” but you went straight to intimacy..that is His Heart!! the ‘doing’ flows from intimacy with him and when we want Him for Him and not for what He can give us then ‘service’ flows from that and contentment comes regardless of our circumstances. So good.
Rebecca, what a touching story about your struggle to give up your singing in church and teaching in SS so that you can help your husband get to church with you. I am not sure why but it so touches my heart. Sometimes we think we are doing things for God, but it turns out we are really worshipping our idols of seeking others approval. I can so identify with this. This past week I stayed away from two different church events because I needed space and time to do other things. Sometime I feel the pressure of others’ expectations and it takes a great deal of will power to overcome the self-imposed guilt and to step out of the routine for a while when there is another need. May God bless your honoring your husband in this.
Diane, you are so right, sometimes we need time to do other things that serve those closest to us and what you said is important..a ‘red flag’ of idolatry is when we feel pressure to serve Him due to ‘expectations’ instead of serving out of a response to Him melting our hearts.
Rebecca, love the Rich Mullins quotes you shared…”A spiritual thing is folding your clothes…making your bed…raking their front lawn…that’s spirituality.” Yes, helping your husband with his job early in the morning is spiritual! I didn’t know much about Rich Mullins but a few weeks ago on the anniversary of his death, Chris Fabry Live aired a past program where Rich was in the studio…it was fascinating to listen to him.
1. In Psalm 42:1-2, what is the image? What do the streams of living water that the psalmist is trying to find represent?
The image is a deer thirsting for water…the deer longs for complete satisfaction of his/her thirst. The streams represent full communion with the Lord; a relationship with the Lord that satisfies, nourishes, provides for all our needs, etc.
2. The psalmist says he is not finding God. He is like a deer dying for water who comes all the way down from the mountain and finds the riverbed dry. What water image is in verse 3? How is this a true lament?
The image of water in v. 3 is tears. How is this true lament?… the psalmist is sharing with the Lord his heart; he is sharing his agony, his desire for the Lord’s presence of which he senses only a remanent of what he once experienced. He is suffering and desires his Lord to come…come and rescue, help him persevere and prevail.
3. Look carefully and see if you can find hidden in this verse 3 the classic signs of depression. (weeping, not sleeping, not eating).
Crying “day and night”…not sleeping; only tears for nourishment…not eating.
4. Find another causal factor to depression in verse 4.
He is reminiscing of previous “glory” days that differ so very much from what he is presently experiencing. This makes the present experience even more poignant.
5. Often, when facing an enormous trial, we want to withdraw. Have you felt that way? Why is that one of the worst things you can do?
When facing enormous trials, I have desired to withdraw to isolate myself. It is one of the worst things one can do because one’s mind can conjure up all sorts of things in the isolation of self…one becomes like a “sitting duck” in the face of the evil one. In isolation one does not benefit from the support of others…probably more often than not, support provided by our Lord through His people. In isolation, we sense that we are “alone”…we are the only one who has experienced this suffering and malaise. There is such benefit in allowing others to help and support, to know that you aren’t “the only one”…to gain strength from others who have special compassion in having experienced similar experiences. I look at how the sisters on this blog minister to other sisters in their need…what a precious gift this (and other) fellowship provides. Thank You, Lord (and Dee).
Nanci, very good insight “…one becomes like a “sitting duck” in the face of the evil one.” I hadn’t thought of this and it is so true. It is counter-cultural to seek help, to admit weakness, but only in our weakness can we be in His strength, only in His strength can we defeat the evil one.
2. What is the water image in v. 3? How is this a true lament?
Tears are the water image. Hmmmm….tears are salty and can never quench thirst. So I guess tears would only make us more thirsty? But they are REAL and the Lord invites us to bring our tears to the altar. I needed a little help on this and turned to a cross reference on this verse found in Joel 2:17 “Between the vestibule and the altar let the priests, the ministers of the Lord, weep and say ‘Spare your people, O Lord, and make not your heritage a reproach, a byword among the nations. Why should they say among the peoples, ‘where is their God?’ ” Oh boy….that word “byword” indicates scorn. Scorn is one of those pithy words that just define themselves. Jesus faced an abundance of scorn in his ministry – from the “religious” leaders, mainly……so too, will we if we keep daring to make our little “peeps” that He gives us opportunity to speak! One fairly recent example in my life that comes to mind was an evening this past July when my dear son Patrick was at my home ….he initiated a conversation about God, creation……oh wow, we went all over the place! Again and again I could hear the Spirit saying “this is good…..this is good…..” – well, not literal words, but you know how your heart begins to just BURN and you know the opportunity before you is precious??? But the note we ended on brought be to those tears (later, in private!)….though Patrick was clearly doing his best to be respectful of me, he said something like this finally….”Mom, you are SMARTER than that!!!! ” All said with a rueful smile….as well as “I feel sorry for you”. Why? Because I believe the Scriptures, I love the Scriptures ….and I believe that in them we find LIFE…..living water…..well….three mornings later my husband called me from work and asked me to go to Patrick’s home to check up on him….he had not shown up for work, people were frantically calling him……many of you heard this sad story back in July…..on the way to his home, traffic was diverted. As I came to a stop sign and looked to my right, there was his truck – upside down and totaled. I thought that he was very likely dead. As I ran down the road….accompanied by very gracious utility workers……I was on the phone with my dear Jestina….she was crying out to Jesus again and again…..long story short, Patrick was released from the hospital within hours, back at work riding racehorses the next day…..and charged with DUI. Sorrow. Patrick’s “little god” of alcohol does not quench his true thirst. But Jesus will. One day, I pray……Wanda, are you there?? Nila, Laura….?? so many of us see our kids chasing the “little gods”…..prayers, prayers……
Oh Jackie – my heart aches with yours. Praying for you and Patrick this morning.
Yes, Jackie, I am here. Reading this with tears, as I’m sure others are as well. Recently (last week) had a similar conversation with my Mark and I was so disheartened.
Oh Lord, be the relentless hound of heaven in our children’s lives. And Lord, please hearten us moms when we loose heart.
Yes, Jackie. I am here. And your thoughts stretch my mind and heart today. I just LOVE the analogy you made to tears being salty and never being able to quench our thirst. Yes, crying can be cleansing and relieving, yet our hearts long for the One who can wipe all tears away. I always hesitate to describe just ‘how and what’ my kids’ lifestyles have become so my descriptions are purposely vague…..but yes, it’s the ‘little gods’, worshiping the created instead of the Creator and scorning the wisdom and truth of the Word that leads them farther and farther away. And yet, there are glimmers of hope at times. I think of how Nila’s son and my daughter, both asked their moms to pray for them in a crisis recently. I also think of something my son said to me on my birthday this summer. Glimmers of hope.
My ‘bathroom mirror’ verse right now is this: “For in this hope, we are saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” I didn’t write the reference and don’t have it at hand……maybe it’s not entirely in the context of our prayers for our kids, but it has brought me comfort.
Yes, Jackie, tears. Praying for your son to see the truth.
2. The psalmist says he is not finding God. He is like a deer dying for water who comes all the way down from the mountain and finds the riverbed dry. What water image is in verse 3? How is this a true lament? The psalmist’s only sustenance is his tears. It is a true lament because he is being honest with God without letting his faith be affected. He still knows God is. The psalmist bears his feelings and soul but does not try to “blame” or manipulate God.
3. Look carefully and see if you can find hidden in this verse 3 the classic signs of depression (weeping, not sleeping, not eating). The fact that the psalmist has had nothing except tears “day and night” suggests that he is not sleeping, not eating, not drinking, and weeping almost continually.
4. Find another causal factor to depression in verse 4. He remembers good times of abundance and joy from the past and wonders what happened to them. This implies the psalmist has no more joyful times. It seems to suggest that he is no longer welcome “in the throng”?
5. Often, when facing an enormous trial, we want to withdraw. Have you felt that way? Why is that one of the worst things you can do? Absolutely, I have felt that way! I still struggle with wanting to escape … and from “little” things, too, not just “big” things. =/ It is the worst thing I can do because it takes me away from His presence, I deny Him by believing the lie, “If this just goes away I will be happy … better … satisfied.” It also takes me away from the process. He leads me through fire so that I may be refined. Withdrawing also questions God’s authority and ability if I think that escaping the problem is a better solution than turning to Him. Just like Jackie said at the first comment – we are on His lap, right here, right now, He is faithful and cares for us. Facing reality, difficulty, in His presence is always, always better than escaping the problem. Sowing tears – reaping sheaves of joy.
3. v. 3, classic signs of depression: tears. sleeplessness with tears. feelings of abandonment – feeling assaulted and misunderstood by others. fears that God is really not going to “show up”….just like my scornful critics say!
4. find another causal factor to depression in v. 4. I remember “better days” with the people of God. My praises in the congregation were real and solid and from the heart. I had true hope. oh oh. I’m beginning to feel like the Israelites remembering “better days” in Egypt! It’s always a slippery slope for me: I KNOW it’s good to remember the goodness of God in the land of the living. Even good to have our own private “memorials” that celebrate His power and protection and loving care in our lives….and yet…..I CAN begin to want to live in the past….to have opportunity to do things differently…..to not mourn that Patrick, for instance, has become completely a child of his culture (well, technically a 27 yr old young man of his culture)….VERY well read and informed and whip smart – I simply cannot “argue” the news with him….I’m always several steps behind!! I look back to the days that he was in a classical Christian school….learning sold Truth and being prayed over daily by his teachers…..oh, the hope!!! All of that to say that “looking back” CAN slip into depression.
5. Often, when facing an enormous trial, we want to withdraw. Have you felt that way? What is one of the worst things that you can do?
OK. NOW I’m beyond uncomfortable! I am SUCH an… introvert! In times of trouble – extremely so!! Trust me, my best friends will tell you that they have to come hunting for me (and I am so blessed to have a precious few who do so! 2 in particular – shout out to Jestina and Mary Lynn….oh…and KARIN…..just 10 days ago, in fact!). So here’s true confession time: I haven’t been to church in 6 weeks. Initially, I was helping my daughter through a rough patch (first 2 Sundays….). The next Sunday I was with a dog at the vet (a rescue dog that my dear landlady brought to my doorstep!)….THEN….my husband’s vehicle broke down in our driveway….and the past couple of Sundays he’s been using my car! OK….there’s my EXCUSES. But the truth is, I’m VERY comfortable with each passing Sunday……in fact, I’ve been actually SCARED the past few days of just HOW comfortable I am with not being in the fellowship of believers, worshipping together on Sunday. So I need your prayers on this. I need to figure out how to do the right thing. My husband’s vehicle needs to be back on the road again (he was going to do the repair himself….but NO TIME for the past few weeks!)…I think I’ll see if I can call our just-up-the-road mechanic who is very reasonable and go from there…..ugh. I HATE how easily I can be diverted from what my Holy God calls me to. I AM that thirsty deer needing the living God….the living Water.
Adding my prayer for your as well, Jackie. So easy for us introverts to slip into not going to church, but yes, there is definitely something about being around other Believers that is critical to our health.
Oh, hugs, Jackie. I am an introvert too, especially in times of trouble, as you say. I can see how easy it for introverts to slip into not attending church, yet how dangerous it is. Guess it is a good thing sometimes that I have responsibilities which “force” me to go each week. We introverts need to pray for each other in this.
Jackie- I will pray. Thank you for sharing honestly. Thank you for the encourager you have been to me. I would go searching for you too!
1. In Psalm 42:1-2, what is the image? What do the streams of living water that the psalmist is trying to find represent?
I like to walk around our metro parks here in Ohio and I look for deer when I walk by streams, rivers, or creeks of flowing water, but not ponds. I know they need “living water” fresh, flowing, not stagnant. That is what I feel desperate for as well. The living water of an on-going, always fresh relationship with God through Jesus Christ, facilitated by His Holy Spirit living inside. Sometimes even that can seem to dry up and that (as we see later in this Psalm) is precisely why it’s so important to bring back to our remembrance those times when the living water was so clearly flowing and speak to our souls about how it will again, because He is faithful, no matter what our feelings try to tell us at times.
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
1. Share a time when “Deep called to deep,” when in a time of sorrow or anxiety, the deep voice of God spoke deep into your soul.
In 1979 I gave birth to our firstborn. Abigail (Abby) was born with two congential heart defects. Our old-fashioned doctor kept moms in the hospital for four days back then, so a nurse noticed that she was a blue-baby on the morning of her fourth day of life. We were rushed from our small Wyoming hospital via ambulance to a larger hospital in Montana. Within hours we found ourselves on an air ambulance to Denver. Abby was in surgery that same night. She survived that surgery and after one month in the hospital, she was released on Christmas Eve. We were utterly grateful.
I learned to administer several medications around the clock through those early months, for Abby still had a hole in her heart, and would be on medication for all of her short life. There were many, many doctor appointments with pediatric heart specialists, to monitor her condition. One pediatric neurologist told us that our baby was a miracle….. that she should have had brain damage due to the seizures she had suffered. But Abby was a precocious little girl and, though tiny, she began to have a huge influence on all who knew her. Many were praying that God would close the hole in her tiny heart so that no further surgery would be necessary.
At age 14 months, the cardiologist said that it was time for open heart surgery. We drove back to Denver. On that cold January night before surgery, I collapsed on a cot right beside her hospital crib…… At that very moment, in my broken-hearted fear, I sensed/pictured two things simultaneously: The Lord Himself just holding me and Him holding my baby girl. This image was literally etched in my heart that night…… Deep comfort calling to deep fear. The next morning we walked our baby to the surgery doors and reluctantly handed her over to the surgeons.
Our Abby did not do well in surgery and fought for life for five days following surgery. She went to the arms of Jesus on a Saturday morning. As we began to prepare a memorial service, my husband brought a Francis Hook painting to me and suggested that we use that in the bulletin . It was that image of the Lord holding/hugging a child, cuddled up close over his shoulder, and tucked under his chin…….. deep comfort calling out to my deep grief…..
Oh Nila, Your post first brought goosebumps and then tears. I am so thankful that the Lord was and is holding you and your baby girl and am so sorry for your loss, the depth of your pain.
Oh Nila, I love your testimony. It brought tears to my eyes as well because I had a younger brother who was born with a major, congenital heart defect (transposition of the great vessels) and he actually did pretty well. Had open heart at age 8 and lived to be 37. He went into heart failure around age 30. He was an amazing blessing to so many lives during his 37 years, as I know your Abby was during her 14 months. And God still has her and you both!
Nila,
Thank you for sharing your deep fear and the deep comfort that came from the Lord. Ever since you first wrote of your firstborn and her loss, when you first joined the blog, I have thought of you and what pain you experienced. Your precious Abby and her short life here makes my heart pound faster. I am thinking of that bond that cannot be severed between a mother and her child….even when one is on earth and one is in heaven. When I hear stories like yours, it always makes me think more deeply of heaven. She left you as a baby. Will she grow up in heaven, when you are all reunited with her….so you can all experience her childhood and youth? I also think of when one spouse leaves as a young person (as Renee’s and Shirley’s fathers did) and then the other partner joins them in their aged years. The mystery is great and the mystery is sweet because we know that the reunion will be perfect in a way that we can’t even define perfection in our finite minds. Sweet peace to you, today, dear Nila. Your wisdom that has been borne of suffering has come forth as gold and we are blessed to have you here.
Oh Nila — such heartbreak — thank you for sharing how He came to you.
Oh, Nila, tears. So sorry My heart goes out to you. So difficult to lose a child. What a great way God carried you during that time holding you and your baby!
oh dear Nila, tears from me too. I am so so sorry for your deep loss. The thought of you holding sweet Abby again One Day makes me smile–thankful for how He held you, has continued to, and the hope you know
Nila I am so sorry for the loss of your baby Abby. What a treasure those 14 months must have been yet at the same time so many hard things to go through. Yet seeing the Lord in the midst of that is so comforting. My mother gave birth to a baby girl Mary Margaret who had a heart mumur. She was with us for 9 months and went to be with the Lord on Christmas Day. I was very young but can still remember my mother telling me. The hardest part is we never had a picture of her. The best part is I will see her one day in heaven and have no doubt picture or not I will know who she is.
Oh Nila….I remember you telling of this before but to read the details and imagine your beloved toddling off in uncertainty….no words. I worked as a nurse with little ones in the intensive care after similar heart surgeries (and said good-bye to several dearly loved ones) so my images are vivid in imagining your hardship. He still holds her, and you. She is never forgotten, not by those she touched in this life and not by Him who now cares for precious Abby.
Dear Nila…what heart break…I am so sorry for your loss…so grateful for the promise of your being reunited with Abby someday.
Nila, I cannot imagine the depth of your grief and pain…but He knew, He understood. “Deep comfort calling to deep fear…deep comfort calling out to my deep grief…”
Note to those who have joined during the past few weeks (and others not in FB group): We have a “secret” FB group for prayer requests. We would love to have you. Please email me at reneeo at brookings dot net (translated into email format 😉 ) to join & indicated in subject line if you’d like to join.
Thanks!
Renee Silly Naïve question but I do not have a Facebook acct and will not so you probably have to have one in order to see this prayer center?
1. In Psalm 42:1-2, what is the image? What do the streams of living water that the psalmist is trying to find represent?
It represents connection with God, the flow of the Holy Spirit into our lives.
2. The psalmist says he is not finding God. He is like a deer dying for water who comes all the way down from the mountain and finds the riverbed dry. What water image is in verse 3? How is this a true lament?
Tears are the water image in verse 3. His tears have been his food day and night. He can’t eat or sleep because he so longs to be reconnected to God. He knows his very life depends upon it. In order to see a complete lament, I would need to also dip into verses 4 and 5 as well. Together the three verses (3-5) do represent a true lament. Verse 3 would be the cry out to God, verse 4 would be remembering the times when the Lord was good to you, and verse 5 would be the speaking truth to your soul and praising God.
3. Look carefully and see if you can find hidden in this verse 3 the classic signs of depression. (weeping, not sleeping, not eating).
Oops! I guess I got ahead of myself and sort of answered that in my answer to #2.
4. Find another causal factor to depression in verse 4.
The psalmist has been separated from the fellowship of believers. He remembers how he used to “go with the multitude leading the procession to the house of God.” We need to be with the rest of God’s children when we are going through periods of discouragement and depression. I think others have mentioned already that the introverted stance seems to be more natural at those times, so it may really take some effort on our part to push beyond it and go to church even when it feels unnatural.
5. Often, when facing an enormous trial, we want to withdraw. Have you felt that way? Why is that one of the worst things you can do?
I’m not sure what my problem is – I seem to keep anticipating the next question and answering it. I guess these questions are closely connected. We definitely need the encouragement of other Christian brothers and sisters, and they will help us put our thoughts into perspective. When we try to go it alone, we get our perspective all out-of-shape, and our thinking is distorted.
1. In Psalm 42:1-2, what is the image? What do the streams of living water that the psalmist is trying to find represent?
I have been repeating this verse to myself, for a few weeks now. And the imagery just keeps getting better and more vivid. My favorite line is “my soul thirsts for God. for the LIVING God.” With all the teaching about idols, the clear evidence of idols in my life and in the lives of those I love, I melt in tears when I take the time to ponder that we have a LIVING God. How vastly different it feels to have someone say they are ‘sending positive energy’ than to have someone say, “I am praying to the LIVING God’. It stirs me every time.
2. The psalmist says he is not finding God. He is like a deer dying for water who comes all the way down from the mountain and finds the riverbed dry. What water image is in verse 3? How is this a true lament?
Here there are tears. Night and day. They become our food, but they do not nourish. We lament truly with our tears when we cry unceasingly, even listening to the ridicule of others who question that our God is even there. And yet…..verse 4 brings the lament to the place it needs to go.
3. Look carefully and see if you can find hidden in this verse 3 the classic signs of depression. (weeping, not sleeping, not eating). crying all day and all night….means you are not sleeping. tears are feeding you which means you are not being nourished by food.
Does anyone know how to turn off the follow up comments through email? I must have accidently turned it on at one point and I am being “blown up” with emails! HELP!!!
at the bottom of the comment section on the blog is a box to check or uncheck…..Can you undo that? Does that help? This happened to me for a little while and I don’t remember ever checking it…..but maybe inadvertently.
Laura–to turn off the emails coming in, look at the bottom of any of the emails you get–anyone’s comments, and there is a link that says “to manage your subscriptions…” click that link, it will take you to a list of all the posts you’ve subscribed to, and un-check it there 🙂
Thanks Elizabeth! I will try now 🙂
4. Find another causal factor to depression in verse 4. Yes, this is it. (Insert gulp and a deep sigh here) This is one of my biggest struggles. But it’s a bit reversed because the struggle for me, is in withdrawing from worship in my local church, because so often, the reverence for the LIVING God seems so absent. I find that deep reverence and adoration in other settings and churches that are not available to me. So, the sadness I feel about this truly is reflected in these verses…..while the withdrawal from regular attendance at worship seems to be (and I know this may sound prideful) because the Lord has drawn me to Himself, in a way that I find very difficult to nurture when I attend my local worship. BUT as this has been an ongoing struggle for many years. (I came to the blog here during Lent, because I found here such deep teaching and reverence that prepared my heart and soul for Easter, like I hadn’t experienced for decades)……I DO want to see a resolve. For quite a long while, I’ve been ‘playing it by ear’. And because my husband feels mostly the same as I do, he supports my ambivalence. (Does that make sense?) Most often, the scenario is that I come for the second half of the service and hear the sermon and we go together for our class and fellowship time. Until yesterday, though, I had missed even the fellowship time, since we resumed in September…..and had missed much this summer. I can so relate to Jackie’s post and all the things that come up……and the feelings of withdrawal and then getting comfortable with being home. Honestly, so many times, I get so much more depth from the teaching and fellowship here, that I do choose to spend my Sunday mornings in the Word at home. BUT even I don’t condone this as a lifestyle. And hence, the struggle. However, my husband was asked to teach/lead a 4 week course on Bonhoeffer (the video series by Metaxas) beginning yesterday in our ABF. And you can be sure that I am right there with him! We both prepared/shared some things yesterday for the class. I’ve known since late summer, that I would be plugged in to class during this time. And generally, I am faithful to attend that hour. Still praying, praying for a longer term peace about this.
Wanda, Bonhoeffer!!! =)))) Wish I could come participate in that. Praying for you in your church struggle….difficult. =/
I can’t un-check it now, because it happened in a session prior to this. Not sure what to do…
I wonder if the beginning ‘how to get started’ tutorial page has any help. Hope you get it solved, Laura!
If you cannot figure it out after trying, e-mail David at david@deebrestin.com
Hopefully you can!
re-posting this to Laura–got lost above:Laura–to turn off the emails coming in, look at the bottom of any of the emails you get–anyone’s comments, and there is a link that says “to manage your subscriptions…” click that link, it will take you to a list of all the posts you’ve subscribed to, and un-check it there 🙂
I vote that we have a joint “withdrawal” party!!
Ha! I’m in for the withdrawal party….. But, I also have a question. When you withdraw because of various reasons……do you feel better or worse when people check up on you? I’ve been gone from regular attendance at church for a couple of years (with total decline in any extra participation long before that)…..but it’s intermittent enough and I more often attend our fellowship class the second hour and my husband is usually at both worship and Adult Bible Fellowship……so maybe it’s hard to notice that I’ve gone missing. But….no one has asked me about it. Can’t decide if that’s good or bad. I do meet regularly, weekly with a close friend from church to discuss books. And I ‘chat’ with several on facebook etc. so I wonder if no one distinguishes that I have actually done some significant withdrawal….or if it’s just too awkward to bring up.
Wanda, IT DEPENDS 🙂 on why, what & how. When I am withdrawn, I am withdrawing from everything/everyone — not just (or even primarily) church. It’s just that church is in the morning, a half hour away & getting going is what is hard — so withdrawal might show up there first. Most likely, I won’t answer the phone (not answering it now because of pre-election calls!). Much of my work actually facilitates withdrawal. The people who NEED to reach me know how I respond most quickly. The question is “why are they checking on me?” It’s a more difficult for me if someone checks on me because they want something out of me — vs just noticed that I’m absent. Typically, no one asks “why” (which is good) … what usually happens is that someone says they have missed me when they do see me (also good/encouraging). Plus, an observer wouldn’t be able to tell if I am missing because I am out of town or because I am depressed. Regarding “how:” If I’ve been gone or am just skipping out, I don’t mind if people ask questions. But if I am depressed, I HATE a lot of questions. If it’s someone I know/trust, I’ll tell them “why” anyway — and if I feel okay, I’d probably announce to strangers why I missed.
If I am depressed, no one is going to be able to “fix” me quickly & focusing on/talking about negative stuff just makes things worse. When I really am withdrawn, it’s usually because I feel the need to pull in/hunker down/save energy, and it feels as if questions serve the person who is asking more than they benefit me. I’d rather have people offer solutions because they would be doing the talking! (even if the solutions are annoying) — and I can usually ignore them 🙂 The worst are questions asking/expecting me to describe how I am feeling or if asking I have tried “x, y, z.” (OF COURSE I have tried x, y & z if the options are moderately reasonable.) It is helpful when someone asks if I want to get together some time — because then they aren’t making assumptions. And I am fine with someone asking questions about how they can help if they are willing to offer specific help/do errands (e.g., I sometimes missed church when taking care of my mom…I still remember when someone took her someplace for an afternoon and really appreciated it). I guess “checking on me” could be pegged on a continuum from harmful, to neutral/meaningless (if I can tune it out) to helpful depending on how/why it is done. However, when I know someone cares — vs being curious — I can overlook a lot of what might otherwise be distressing.
Without taking attendance, I’m not sure how I would even know if someone is missing regularly. Sometimes I sit near the front and other times in the back pew — so I could be there and not see people. Unless I were specifically looking for someone, I might not even know if they were there. The church isn’t THAT big, but unless I “need” to talk with someone and hunted before and after church for weeks, I wouldn’t know if they were missing. So, I don’t think most people know when I am there either; I’m glad that seeing ME isn’t anyone’s primary reason for attending church because I don’t want to be obvious!
Renee……I appreciate that you took the time to answer in various ways and give examples because I found some helpful stuff in your answer. I also think ‘it DEPENDS” is the same answer I have. And I suppose the biggest factor is my relationship with the person. Some people’s questions just bug me all the time, because I feel like they’re just after ‘information’ whereas others don’t have to ask a single question, but I already know they care…..so if they do ask, I’m not put off. I remember when I was in college and our elderly pastor’s wife would always say ‘we missed you last week’ if I hadn’t been at a service…..but what I felt she actually meant was ‘Where were you?” (in a judgmental way). I’m not sure as I was only at that school and in that church for one school year. Didn’t feel I knew her that well. I do agree with the worst question being those asking for me to describe how I feel and that can bug me even coming from my closest church friend…..mostly because, she is a leader in our caregiving ministry and does a lot of the training of Stephen ministers…..so she is very good at supportive question asking……but when she suddenly starts talking to me in those terms, I feel like she just put on her ‘Stephen ministry’ hat and I just want her to be my friend! Other people who I’m not as close to, might be able to ask the same kinds of questions and I MAY feel okay about it….Oh ya….and asking ‘Have you tried…x,y or z?’……that can also rub me wrong. Yikes. I have some ridiculous (laughable) examples of some things people have asked. Ya……I think it all goes back to discerning those who truly care. I’m sure I make lots of ‘mistakes’ by saying or doing too much or too little too……so I try to be tolerant….. After my cancer surgeries…..I had a hard time going to church. I just didn’t want to deal with the crowds and the questions. I remember one person who tried to lighten the mood with a joke about ‘being lopsided’…….and I simply turned and walked away. she and I did not have the kind of relationship that she could ‘get by’ with that. I know she felt bad afterwards as she sent me a nice ‘get well’ card and gift after my mastectomy. But at the time she said it…..I just couldn’t deal with it. However, my sister could tell me that she and my sister-in-law were also ‘missing a headlight’……and I was okay with it. In fact, I laughed. There’s so much in life that is about relationships and timing, and wording. Ugh. I suppose we all need just a little more grace than we have most days!