One of my favorite proposal stories belongs to my daughter Sally’s friend Sarah King. When her husband to be proposed, he washed her feet, as a sign that his goal was to serve her in their marriage. Here is a photo of a bridegroom doing the same.

Though we are beginning this series with John 17, we have to peek back at John 13 to understand what truly loving another looks like. We will do that briefly and then dig into Jesus’ final prayer for His disciples and for us on earth. We will be looking at just six of the fourteen pages of Francis Schaeffer’s little book: The Mark of a Christian, a classic that penetrated my bones to their very marrow. Three decades later, I still can quote parts word for word.
Here is the transcript — you can find the whole pdf online, this is about a third of it — the middle — the heart.
Excerpt from The Mark of a Christian
A habit we have developed on this blog is to share a “God Hunt” from the past week. God is always there, but sometimes we have to ponder and peer to spy Him. A scripture might have become radioactive to you, you’ve had circumstances that seemed engineered by Him, you’ve experienced an answer to prayer, or seen something wonderful in nature. We begin on Sundays with that.
Sunday: God Hunt
1. How have you “spied” God in your life last week?
Monday: The Text
In his book Generous Justice, as well as in many other places, Keller talks about how the conservative church emphasizes evangelism and the liberal church emphasizes justice, though perhaps not the scriptural definition of justice. Keller says unless we pair evangelism and biblical justice, we have a distorted Christianity. The reason the world listened to the gospel in the early days of Christianity was because they saw Christians going into the plagues, the prisons, caring for the poor, the immigrants, and the outcasts. Are they still seeing that? Do we still bear the mark of Christ-like love for the world and for one another?
2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer?
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today?
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord!
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20?
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse)
C. And why according to 21:b?
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you?
Tuesday: The Final Apologetic
Read up to the bold TRUE ONENESS
4. What stood out and why?
5. Do you know what is meant by apologetics? If not, look it up. (Miriam Webster was a Christian and it is evident in his definitions if you want to google him.)
6. For whom does Schaeffer say Jesus is praying?
6. What does he mean when he says “Jesus is not praying for humanistic romantic oneness?”
7. What does Schaeffer say Jesus’ point was about oneness in John 13?
8. And how does John 17 cut even deeper?
9. What is the final apologetic the Christian gives to the world?
10. Schaeffer says “for years Christians have done this very poorly.” Schaeffer wrote this 55 years ago, and I would say we have only gone downhill since then. Do you agree? Why or why not?
11. We will get into this m0re deeply as the essay progresses, but I am going to begin to ask now. Imagine you disagree STRONGLY with a brother or sister in Christ about politics, music, anything. How might your approach to this brother to live out what Jesus is teaching here? Give an example.
Wednesday: Practicing Saying “I’m Sorry” and Meaning it.
Read up to TRUE FORGIVENESS
12. What stands out and why?
13. MEDITATE: Holiness without love is harshness. Love without holiness is compromise.
A. Challenge. A sister in the Lord feels it is unloving to not allow same-sex people who love each other to marry. Speak the truth in love to her — exemplifying both love and holiness.
B. Optional challenge as you may want to remain private on this. Whatever political party you belong to, share a weakness you see in its stand on some policy. It’s always helpful in a discussion to show you are not blind to sin, wherever it is. And this will also be a helpful exercise in how we respond to one another if and when we disagree!
14. Schaeffer says we do not automatically go and say “I’m sorry” when we have done, written, or said something that wounds a brother or sister. Do you agree? Why is this vital?
15. I have learned it is important to apologize even if you feel the other party shares some or even most of the blame — to still apologize for your part. And then to let it go, even if the other party does not confess to their part. Do you agree or disagree and why?
16. In the transcript I have highlighted a statement I have never forgotten, though I read this book at least forty years ago. Share your thoughts on this, please.
17. What components do you think make an effective apology and why? Have you done this personally, or has someone done it to you? Please share — illustrations help us.
18. What else stands out to you from this page and why?
THURSDAY: TRULY FORGIVING FROM THE HEART
Read up to WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE
19. What stands out and why?
20. Have you ever forgiven in the head but not the heart? How do you know the difference?
21. What clarification does Schaeffer make about the line in the Lord’s prayer: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
22. Often a trespass is so grievous we have to keep taking it before the Lord. Do you agree? If this is you, let us pray for you for this is truly difficult.
23. What judgment does the world make when it sees unforgiveness? Why is this true?
Friday: Regret
24. Read this section on regret and share what stands out and why.
Saturday:
25. What is your takeaway and why?
168 comments
Please weigh in — I wasn’t going to do these three weeks with Paige on Ruth, but it is so good I’m reconsidering and would post the first study this coming Sunday. Let me know your thoughts — I find it is easier because the 1st week is just the 1st chapter of Ruth, the 2nd the 2nd, and she will finish with the 3rd and the 4th. I can’t do the transcript, but I think I can do it so that even if you can’t watch it all, it will make sense for I could summarize. I would keep posting on Sundays, and you could watch what you could. I will probably get a mixed reaction, but your responses will still help. I’m also ready to just continue with John and Keller. May the Lord guide us!
I studied Ruth in depth this past spring, not to say that I wouldn’t gain new insight from Paige. I was looking forward to finishing John with Keller as a way to focus on Jesus leading up to Resurrection Sunday.
Thank you Dee for asking us to weigh in. I plan on listening to Paige as I learn so much from her but…I’d really like to continue with John and Keller in preparing for Easter.
I am finding John so difficult for some reason! I would do either whatever others want.
I did not receive this week’s lesson for some reason so I’m trying to sign up.
I signed you up again Patti but this makes me wonder if something went wrong with everyone. I will check with my website people in the morning.
I received the email😊
Thanks, Sharon!
I received the email as well.
Oh, no! We need Patti!!
Indeed — don’t know what happened but I put her back on!
Thank you for putting back on! xo
The email is a great reminder, but you can always go Dee’s website and access the weekly study, too,
Sunday: God Hunt
1. How have you “spied” God in your life last week? – This isn’t last week, but today. I want out to lunch with a young lady from church and we had a very nice lunch and found out a lot about each other. She was asking me different questions and things and just out of the blue she said, “have you ever written anything”. I looked up and started laughing. I have been feeling like taking a daily scripture and writing a small devotional/thought on it and doing that daily. She just looked at me and said do it. She has also started writing a book but stopped so we are now going to hold each other accountable, and she will rewrite what she has written, and I will start my little devotional writing. There were so many God moments that we discovered while we were talking. God is good and has such a sense of humor to the point he’s doing things for us and laughs when we finally realize it was Him all along.
Julie, if I could use the word, but “what a serendipitous encounter!” God moments are so special and when shared bring a smile to others like me!
What a sweet time for both of you, Julie! I love how God gives us these fun surprises~ a new beginning for both of you of a new friendship! God’s community!
I’d love to read your writing, Julie!
I’d love to read it too, Julie!
Oh ladies, thank you, that is some pressure now. I’ve written one but will let you know once I’m done 🙂
1. How have you “spied” God in your life last week?
The first snow of the year was on my birthday! It was beautiful. I enjoyed the fireplace and completing a puzzle that had stumped most of the family for a week or so. Such a peaceful afternoon. Thank You Jesus.
2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer?
Jesus is washing the feet of the disciples. He is showing His care for them, including Judas.
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today?
I suppose parallels would be working in the soup kitchens, providing clothes for the homeless, and the Mercyship, where people are helped medically in far away places. Operation Christmas Child comes to mind as well, as does Doctors Without Borders.
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord!
The first thing that comes to mind are the teenagers with whom I interact everyday. Young people. My grandkids and their young friends, including their parents who are 20 years younger than I am. I’m not sure how it looks but maybe just being there is okay for now? I honestly can’t see how I can fit anything else on the plate right now! I’m totally overwhelmed as it is. Whatever I choose, means it must just (somehow) fit into my regular day.
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20?
The current disciples (His), and those in the future (us).
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse)
He asks for the Father to make them “One,” as He and the Father are One with the Spirit.
C. And why according to 21:b?
So that the world would know Jesus was sent by the Father.
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you?
Persistence in never giving up on me. Love when I didn’t deserve it, and kindness.
You are already doing it with raising your grandkids. I remember a sermon that led to our adoptions — the pastor said for them the easiest way to fulfil all the commands about the poor and the vulnerable and about practicing hospitality was to have people move right in with them.
And you dear Dee, live this out in so many ways. How I pray that the Lord will show me HIS way.
Oh, dear Laura! You serve the Lord so well! Raising your dear grandchildren and teaching teen agers! Wow! I think about you so often and how much you are contributing to the lives of those around you!! May God bless you and keep you strong!
Laura, you are a blessing to those who are in your circle. Don’t ever doubt that.
You are all SO kind! Thank you for your encouraging words today! I needed them 😘
I LOVE your birthday snow gift sent straight from God Himself!
1. How have you “spied” God in your life last week?
When I was at church yesterday, a man gave an announcement at the end of the service. He was a man named Rob, probably in his 30’s… (He and his dear wife sat next to me at the Bible Study earlier in the week. They had come from teaching in a Mission school in Germany a couple of years ago. ) He mentioned that he was going to be in the back of the church to answer questions about the Classical Christian School, where he was the head of school. This totally was a God wink for me, as my husband and I had been at a Classical Christian school for 19 years, just before retiring. I have been praying to find somewhere to possibly volunteer and I spoke to him about that after church. I don’t know if this is in my future, but the connection was so sweet from Jesus. I felt an instant comfort that I have not felt since I moved here. Thank you Jesus!
I loved hearing about your God hunt from yesterday. That sweet young man has no idea yet what a blessing God has sent his way. It would sure seem God is providing a place for you to possibly volunteer that would be a good fit for you. Praying for God’s gracious leading to put you where he wants you to serve him.
I love this Patti!
Oh Patti, what a blessing you will be to each other. I will be praying for the Lord’s leading and to open the door if that is where you are to be.
Very interesting Patti! That he would have that connection with you 😉. Maybe ask what a “Classical Christian School” is?
Patti, what a BIG God wink for you! His ways are sure higher than our ways! Hugs, dear friend!
So sweet, dear Patti! Right up your alley!
Oh may that connection happen — for the good of the school — you have so much to offer.
Patti, what a sweet connection from God!
2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer?
Jesus is washing the feet of His disciples to show them that serving with love and humility was His example to them of what they should do in their future ministries. He was washing the feet of Judas, as well, even though He knew that Judas was betraying Him. This shows us that we need to show God’s love to all, even our enemies. A true followers of Jesus, we need to love always and put others needs ahead of our own. We need to have a servant’s heart for God.
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today?
We are truly all vulnerable at some point in our life…in our early life and in our late life, or in illness. We are called to serve those in need, those that they world looks down on. It is so important to always see ourselves as servants for the Lord and never as “entitled” or that we have earned or deserve better than others. Christ gave of Himself. This verse is a good reminder to me: Romans 12:10 ” Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord!
I have been a bit of a mess for the past two years, but I am not alone in that. I talk with friends who have had losses and it is comforting for both of us. A close friend lost her husband suddenly, just three weeks before I lost my husband. Another, who is much younger, lost her husband to pancreatic cancer and then she had a torn aorta two months ago and nearly lost her own life. And there are younger women who have lost their strapping healthy husbands to massive heart attacks. A dear friend from school lost her 26 year old daughter to a brain aneurism. I think we have ministered to each other. I have to be thankful for the many years I had and the blessing I had to take care of my husband at home, for the last two years of his life. I thank God for that time when I could do that. It helps to share with others who are hurting, because I can feel their pain and they feel mine. I ask the Lord daily to show me what I have to offer to someone in need. I don’t always know. But I can listen and pray for them… (probably too much information)
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20?
Jesus prays for His disciples and for those who would believe, after hearing the gospel, shared by the disciples; and for future believers, who would hear the gospel and believe. I think that includes all of us who have heard the gospel and believe.
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse)H
He asks that all become one. That their love will be seen by the world. That the live out this love, not just talk the talk.
C. And why according to 21:b?
By the love and oneness the disciples and new Christians show, the world will know that God sent the Son.
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you?
When I first met Dee and we were “newly marrieds”, I saw a love and unity, even in the young women in that first Bible study at our church. I was loved and mentored by women in the older group, as well. Those friendships that began all those years ago, are still going on. We have aged, some friends and spouses have gone to heaven, but the love and friendship have remained strong in the Lord.
Patti, It’s not too much information, I am always encouraged by the things you share.
I agree with you Cheryl. It helps to know how to pray when we have the detail of each other’s lives. Death and loss are hard, and because you have lived it Patti, you can guide others along and help them know that their grief is real and not to try and hide it. Hugs to you.
Patti, I love your empathetic qualities. And your Barnabas spirit!
I definitely see that God is using you, Patti, to comfort others with the comfort you yourself have received. What a precious part of the body of Christ you are!
1. How have you “spied” God in your life last week? I usually listen to Tim Keller podcasts on my way to work. The sermon series that I had next in my list weren’t the same as the sermon chosen for last week’s study, but they were along the same line and he used some of the same illustrations in both. It was a great way for God to really drive home the message.
That is a great way to drive home!
Monday: The Text
In his book Generous Justice, as well as in many other places, Keller talks about how the conservative church emphasizes evangelism and the liberal church emphasizes justice, though perhaps not the scriptural definition of justice. Keller says unless we pair evangelism and biblical justice, we have a distorted Christianity. The reason the world listened to the gospel in the early days of Christianity was because they saw Christians going into the plagues, the prisons, caring for the poor, the immigrants, and the outcasts. Are they still seeing that? Do we still bear the mark of Christ-like love for the world and for one another?
2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer?
Jesus is washing the disciples feet before they eat the Last Supper and Peter protests Jesus washing his feet and Jesus says, “Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to me.” Peter’s response is, “wash my hands and head as well, not just my feet!” Jesus goes on to say that they are clean, but not all of them for He knew one of them would betray Him. Jesus is giving them an example that if they call Him Lord they should wash each other’s feet as slaves aren’t greater than their masters, nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message.
Christ’s love is shown in Him washing their feet, even Judas’s feet.
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today?
It’s being the hands and feet of Jesus…helping those less fortunate, being available and sensitive to the needs of others. Faith without works is dead…James 2.
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord!
Praying that God would show me.
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20?
The disciples and all who will ever believe in Him through their message.
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse)
That they will all be one-just as the Father and Jesus are one.
C. And why according to 21:b?
So the world will believe that God sent Jesus.
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you?
I saw this through hurricane Florence when Christians from another part of the state brought a semi truck load of donated furniture. Other churches sent water, cleaning supplies, personal needs items and food.
I have also seen churches in our area come together to help families that have lost everything in a fire, a single mother who needs help in repairs and helping those who are on hard times.
Monday: The Text
In his book Generous Justice, as well as in many other places, Keller talks about how the conservative church emphasizes evangelism and the liberal church emphasizes justice, though perhaps not the scriptural definition of justice. Keller says unless we pair evangelism and biblical justice, we have a distorted Christianity. The reason the world listened to the gospel in the early days of Christianity was because they saw Christians going into the plagues, the prisons, caring for the poor, the immigrants, and the outcasts. Are they still seeing that? Do we still bear the mark of Christ-like love for the world and for one another?2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer?
Jesus washed the feet of all the disciples. He said He was giving them an example of how to serve each other, that no one (whatever his station in life) is above serving others. John tells us in verse 1, “…having loved his own, he loved them until the end.” This leaves no doubt that washing the disciples’ feet was an act of love. Jesus was doing the work of the lowliest servant out of love.
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today?
Being involved in working at and supporting a food bank. A group that the world neglects are nursing home patients, so visiting a nursing home, listening/talking with the people there.
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord!
This needs further thought and prayer. I am involved, but there might be someone else I don’t “see.”
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20?
He’s praying for the eleven disciples (Judas has left the room), and He is praying for future believers (including me!).
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse)
As the Father is in Jesus and Jesus in the Father, that believers would share in that unity with God and each other.
C. And why according to 21:b?
So that the world would believe that Jesus came from the Father, that the gospel is true.
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you?
When our furnace quit working during one winter in NY and a group of believers in another state (whom we had known before they moved away) sent us a check that was large enough to cover the cost of a new furnace.
Great furnace story.
Cheryl, Yes nursing homes are where many of our most vulnerable people are today. As I shared I saw it up close and personal with my Mom.
Oh, Cheryl Ann, those sweet lonely people in nursing homes so need love and a person to listen to their stories, (which are often such beautiful history).
Sadly the nursing homes near us have been closed to visitors lately due to spread of infectious virus within the home. The patients have to stay in their rooms and can’t even associate with others. Plus there is a dangerous shortage of staff in our area, and the quality of care has fallen. It’s a very sad situation.
Monday: The Text
In his book Generous Justice, as well as in many other places, Keller talks about how the conservative church emphasizes evangelism and the liberal church emphasizes justice, though perhaps not the scriptural definition of justice. Keller says unless we pair evangelism and biblical justice, we have a distorted Christianity. The reason the world listened to the gospel in the early days of Christianity was because they saw Christians going into the plagues, the prisons, caring for the poor, the immigrants, and the outcasts. Are they still seeing that? Do we still bear the mark of Christ-like love for the world and for one another? – I’m not sure if we are supposed to comment here, but I think at times people still see the mark of Christ-like love for the world, but sadly I don’t think it is seen all the time. In a crisis Christians pull together and help out, just like with all the displaced people after Hurricane Helene. So many people are still helping out where they can for all of these people, but when there is no tragedy, I’m not so sure we are as helpful as we should be. 2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer? – As we learned last week, Jesus is glorifying them. He is lifting them up and lowering himself to serve them. He is showing his love for them by not placing himself higher than them. He is bowing down and wiping their feet. Making them completely clean.
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today? – Having a bag of items in your car to give out to the homeless when you see them. Helping out in a prison ministry; taking a young child or teenager under your wing that may not have a good authority figure and guide them along in their walk; lending a helping hand to an elderly neighbor or single mom.
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord! – For me I feel for the new Christian. I wonder if they have anyone that is reaching out and helping them learn how to connect with Jesus and how to connect with others in the church. It’s so important to have someone walk alongside you. There are too many ‘wolves in sheep clothing’ just waiting to attack and as a new Christian, you may not recognize them.
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20? – Believers and unbelievers. Those who are going out to spread the gospel to the unreached and for the unreached to hear the message and accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according to the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse) – Jesus is asking the Father that all may be one. Which I believe to mean likeminded, all knowing that Jesus is the one and only Messiah.
C. And why according to 21b? – That we may be in Christ as one, just as Jesus and the Father are one.
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you? – The thoughtfulness, care and love they had for me to know the truth. They didn’t leave me alone, they guided and explained things to me and that made a huge difference for me. I wasn’t left on my own. Once I accepted Christ, at the age of 35, I grew in knowledge because of the core people that were already mature in their walk.
You can comment anywhere you like, Julie! I liked your thinking that new Christians are vulnerable and need protection, for I do believe Satan goes after them.
Julie, oh so true about new Christians. We have a few of those in our church.
2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer? Jesus is doing the most degrading task to his disciples, which is washing their feet. He washed Judas’ feet even though He knew that Judas was going to betray Him.
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today? Serving in a food kitchen or homeless shelter. Hospice volunteer.
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord!
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20? His disciples that are with him as well as those who will come to know the Lord because of them.
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse) That they all will be one.
C. And why according to 21:b? Because the Father and the Son are one.
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you? They helped each other out, whether it was babysitting, giving food, clothes, gas money or rides to places. Almost all of us at the church that I first went to in North Carolina were military people and everyone knew that the people in the lower ranks of service were poor. The ones in higher ranks knew what it was like for them when they first started out.
Love that illustration from the military.
Dawn-hospice! That takes someone very special to care for them.
Such wonderful examples of helping others, serving in shelters and Hospice, Dawn. I love your experience with the military too.
Sunday: God Hunt
1. How have you “spied” God in your life last week?
Isaiah 43:9 has been popping up many times in various ways since the beginning of the new year I started feeling that God is trying to tell me something specific to me. I now believe this will be my verse for the year 2025:
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
What is the new thing, Lord? What is the way? Where are the streams? This morning, I realized the way and the streams point to Jesus as I sojourn in the “wilderness” and “wastelands” of earthly life. I also learned, a new thing maybe what I would consider old but has shed a newness in light of what I perceive is the Lord’s will for my life.
He has used this verse from last week to be radioactive and an answer to prayer for a job-related situation. I am certain it is His work as I would not have thought of it on my own accord.
Your GH gave me goosebumps as I read it. It is always thrilling to se the Holy Spirit at work reminding us of scripture, and then to see it worked out in our lives.
Cheryl Ann, that is exactly what I felt when I was sitting at my desk and realized God just answered my prayer! Such a weight off my shoulder which I did not realize I was carrying. I appreciate your encouraging comments.
Such a comforting and encouraging verse, dear Bing!
I love how the Holy Spirit works! I love your verse for the year!! Amen to Cheryl Ann! Gave me goosebumps too!
Bing, your God Hunt so ministered and encouraged me…I loved the questions you asked of that verse and you were pointed to Jesus❣️
I have been having problems with the margins but I am hoping my comments here will turn out alright.
Monday:
2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer?
Jesus washed the disciples’ feet including Jesus who would betray Him.
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today?
This year, my husband got more involved with the local food pantry. He comes home excited and rejuvenated and glad to minister to the folks in need in our county. It takes time, effort, and emotional energy to put himself in their shoes but he believes it is what Jesus wants him to do at this point of his life.
Fostering and adopting I believe is “foot washing” which several of the ones who come here are doing or have done.
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord!
I always have a love for the elderly! Going to the nursing home, and doing home visits is something I can do, and would be willing to clean the house, do dishes and laundry, and so forth.
I am also thankful to the Lord for allowing me to minister to young people through my job as a teacher and to little children through our children’s ministry. I think our young people nowadays would be considered vulnerable. Some of their life experiences are heartbreaking at a very young age.
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20?
For His disciples and for those who would later listen to their message about Jesus.
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse)
That they would be one
D. And why according to 21:b?
E. Because He and the Father are one and that they could be one with them and that the world may believe that the Father sent the Son.
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you?
I can think of many examples of their love for each other in both actions and words. I John 3:18
They could disagree with one another without being disagreeable.
Sunday: God Hunt
1. How have you “spied” God in your life last week?
—Last week was rich with seeing God in the study of the Trinity and the glory of God as we considered the teaching from Keller. But without a doubt God’s answer to prayer about my grandson Ryan that I already shared with this group on Friday was evidence of seeing God at work.
Monday: The Text
In his book Generous Justice, as well as in many other places, Keller talks about how the conservative church emphasizes evangelism and the liberal church emphasizes justice, though perhaps not the scriptural definition of justice. Keller says unless we pair evangelism and biblical justice, we have a distorted Christianity. The reason the world listened to the gospel in the early days of Christianity was because they saw Christians going into the plagues, the prisons, caring for the poor, the immigrants, and the outcasts. Are they still seeing that? Do we still bear the mark of Christ-like love for the world and for one another?2. Look briefly back at John 13:1-17
A. What is happening in this passage? How do you see Christ’s love, even for His betrayer?
—Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples and right before they begin the Passover meal he gets up from the table and goes around and washes the feet of the twelve disciples including Judas who would betray him.
B. Washing feet in those days was for the lowest of the low, as feet were so dirty, blistered, and unseemly. It also symbolizes being willing to care for those the world neglects, the vulnerable. What might be some “foot-washing” parallels for Christians today?
—For me I immediately think of the girls in the care home where my mother spent her last months unable to walk or take care of her most basic physical needs. They grew to love her and were tender and caring in handling her “messes”. Even now it makes me cry to think of what gentle servants they were.
C. Who are the vulnerable in your life to whom you could minister, and how might you do it? Ask the Lord!
—I have been a caregiver as needed for my granddaughter who has spina bifida. To give my son and his wife respite I have been the only other person in her life to be able to handle her potty time in the mornings and regular
catheterization during the day. In this past year she has now begun learning to do her own catheterization. It has been a humbling experience to let God use me and allow me to have the very personal interaction with her. Her normal is certainly much different than most children’s normal but so far she handles it all well in stride. I’m convinced that it is in great part because she knows how much she is loved and completely accepted. She is very practical about her situation.
3. Read John 17:20-21 very carefully.
A. For what two groups of people is Jesus praying according to verse 20?
— He prays for his disciples and for all who will believe in Him through the message of his disciples.
B. What exactly does He ask of the Father to do in their lives according the verse 21a? (A means the first half of the verse)
—He prays they will have the perfect unity to be one in spirit just like He and the Father are One.
C. And why according to 21:b?
—So that by being in unity with each other and with God the world will see and believe in Jesus as the Son sent by God.
D. If you came to Christ or matured in Christ when you were older, what love did you see expressed between Christians that made an impression on you?
—I grew up in the church and frankly I had as an adult became fairly disillusioned by the church. Interestingly God gave me a very close friend who as a professing atheist had come to know Jesus at age 33. She had totally embraced the church with a love for God’s people that amazed me. She had a very real love even for the hard to love church members that I had lost patience for. And she loved and cared for those in the church in many sweet ways. I have since in better church experiences seen many examples of God’s people meeting each other’s needs and have been the recipient of God’s loving care through his people. Prayer has been an integral part of that.
Bev you last answer hits home. I’m amazed at the love and excitement a new believer has for others around them. It reminds me to get back to my first love for Jesus.
WHAT BEV DESCRIBES IS SUCH A GIFT, FOR THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED WHEN YOU ARE HUMBLED BY YOUR BODY.
—For me I immediately think of the girls in the care home where my mother spent her last months unable to walk or take care of her most basic physical needs. They grew to love her and were tender and caring in handling her “messes”. Even now it makes me cry to think of what gentle servants they were.
Love your entire post, Bev. My mom was in an adult care home for a short time and I will always be so grateful for the servant hearts of her caretakers. They loved her so.
Bev, I too enjoyed the richness of the Trinity study last week and continue to keep Ryan in my prayers.
Tuesday: The Final Apologetic
Read up to the bold TRUE ONENESS
4. What stood out and why? – Well, that hurt to read. I try to remember that not every Christian, me included, is not at the same point of their walk as the next Christian. So, as I hope a more advanced Christian has patience with me, I need to extend that same patience to someone that is not at the level of me.
5. Do you know what is meant by apologetics? If not, look it up. (Miriam Webster was a Christian and it is evident in his definitions if you want to google him.) – I believe it is speaking in defense of the gospel to others who may not agree with me. I need to be able to defend Jesus not in an argumentative way, but in a loving way that they can interpret and understand. In a way that they would walk away from the conversation and think about what we talked about.
6. For whom does Schaeffer say Jesus is praying? – Jesus is praying for those that the Father has given to him. The ones, the true Christians that have put their faith in Jesus and not those who are still standing in rebellion on the fence.
6. What does he mean when he says “Jesus is not praying for humanistic romantic oneness?” – I see this as a oneness that implies, my answer, my love may hurt, do you really want it. A oneness where we hold each other accountable for our actions that are against the gospel.
7. What does Schaeffer say Jesus’ point was about oneness in John 13? – We as Christians should not be sectioned off in our own little groups. All born again Christians should be together in one group without walls that are trying to keep out other born-again Christians.
8. And how does John 17 cut even deeper? – The church needs to be one. We can’t be attacking other churches if we want the world to see we are one. Our words, our answers are not enough. It has to transfer from us as individuals being one and carrying that oneness down through the church as a whole.
9. What is the final apologetic the Christian gives to the world? – The world needs to see the reality of Christians being as one. They need to see the love and compassion between us before they will believe the truth of the gospel.
10. Schaeffer says “for years Christians have done this very poorly.” Schaeffer wrote this 55 years ago, and I would say we have only gone downhill since then. Do you agree? Why or why not? – I can’t agree completely that we are doing a good job of showing love and oneness to another true believer. It’s hard to hold our passions in place when we believe in Jesus and the gospel so strongly. But I think what that does when we are so forceful is push those not as strong yet back and possibly walk away from growing in their walk with Jesus.
11. We will get into this more deeply as the essay progresses, but I am going to begin to ask now. Imagine you disagree STRONGLY with a brother or sister in Christ about politics, music, anything. How might your approach to this brother to live out what Jesus is teaching here? Give an example. – I think the biggest difference may be politics. My husband and I discuss this a lot with abortion. He comes out and says right off that those who think abortion is ok are not Christians, I say how can you judge them by that. I know that all of creation is precious and loved by Jesus, and this fine line of abortion is not so fine. I think I would approach them in a way for them to explain to me why they think that way. Where in the Bible are they seeing that it’s ok. I need to get to their level and understand their stand on it before I can even defend the gospel. It’s a tough road for sure when other Christians don’t believe as I do.
I love your thoughtful answers, Julie. Yes, there are subjects that can cause hard feelings. I pray every time I am in a discussion where a touchy subject comes up. I agree that we are all at different places in our Christian walk, and I am so grateful with those who are gentle with me.
AMEN!
Julie, such a good reminder that we’re all in different places in our Christian walk…so wise.
So true, Julie, on the abortion issue. It’s difficult. I guess I would tread lightly and ask questions, as you said. “Where in the Bible does it say it’s ok? Why do you think someone gets an abortion? Do you believe God is in control of every aspect of your life?” Those questions might help someone think, hard, and get off of the band wagon of “my body, my choice.” I wish I knew and believed that God was totally in control when I was 18 and had an abortion. I was not courageous or trusting in God even though I knew right from wrong. My life would have turned out (perhaps) much differently than I had in mind. An adventure for sure!
4. What stood out and why?
It is true that we are all being observed by others in our daily lives. Our words, our behavior, attitudes and our relationships speak loudly. It is important that, as believers, we display the values of Christ.
5. Do you know what is meant by apologetics? If not, look it up. (Miriam Webster was a Christian and it is evident in his definitions if you want to google him.)
It is a defense of a doctrine, divine origin and authority.
6. For whom does Schaeffer say Jesus is praying?
For all Christians.
6. What does he mean when he says “Jesus is not praying for humanistic romantic oneness?”
He is praying for the deep and forgiving, uniting love that He has for everyone.
7. What does Schaeffer say Jesus’ point was about oneness in John 13?
Not for just the true Christians, but for all Christians. For individual Christians to show love to All other Christians, no matter where they are from. We cannot expect the world to see us as different from them if we have “selective” love.
8. And how does John 17 cut even deeper?
We need a practical love that applies to all, even those outside our comfort zones.
9. What is the final apologetic the Christian gives to the world?
There must be a oneness and real love among all Christians for the world to observe, if they are to believe that Jesus was sent by our Father in heaven and Christianity is true and real.
10. Schaeffer says “for years Christians have done this very poorly.” Schaeffer wrote this 55 years ago, and I would say we have only gone downhill since then. Do you agree? Why or why not?
I agree that we have gone downhill. There are many churches where there is much division within the church. There are many churches teaching things that are not Biblical truths or they are skewing the truth, to fit an agenda. It is important to be with true believers that are reading and studying the Bible and their beliefs are in line with the Word of God.
I like the term you used, “selective” love, that’s it exactly. I know some Christians who only will fellowship with others who share their opinions about social/political issues.
Earlier in his book Schaeffer talks about how ugly that is, to just have love for fellow believers.
I downloaded the entire book pdf to read at some point. Thank you, Dee, for mentioning that it was online for free.
Tuesday: The Final Apologetic
Read up to the bold TRUE ONENESS
4. What stood out and why?
The world must have the proper answers to their honest questions, but at the same time, there must be a oneness in love between all true Christians. This is what is needed if men are to know that Jesus was sent by the Father and that Christianity is true.
5. Do you know what is meant by apologetics? If not, look it up. (Miriam Webster was a Christian and it is evident in his definitions if you want to google him.)
Apologetics is a branch of theology devoted to the defense of the divine origin and authority of Christianity. (Merriam-Webster)
6. For whom does Schaeffer say Jesus is praying?
Jesus is praying for the oneness of the church.
7. What does he mean when he says “Jesus is not praying for humanistic romantic oneness?”
All born-again true Christians are one. So loving those who truly belong to the family of God and that includes males and females, all nationalities of different races, forms of worship, etc. There is no romance in many of these united relationships. Not sure if I got this correct.
7. What does Schaeffer say Jesus’ point was about oneness in John 13?
That the world would see our oneness and they would believe that God the Father sent His son to die for us.
8. And how does John 17 cut even deeper?
That the world sees some reality of the oneness of a true Christian. Do they? Are we all one as true Christians?
9. What is the final apologetic the Christian gives to the world?
This is the final apologetic. [our ultimate defense] In John 13 the point was that, if an individual Christian does not show love toward other true Christians, the world has a right to judge that he or she is not a Christian.
10. Schaeffer says “for years Christians have done this very poorly.” Schaeffer wrote this 55 years ago, and I would say we have only gone downhill since then. Do you agree? Why or why not?
To do our best to give honest answers to questions is what we have done very poorly. I agree that we have gone downhill on this. Tolerance is overrated nowadays. Even the slogans, “Be kind” and “Be nice” can tend toward watering the truth for the sake of relational peace or to not rock the boat. I struggle with this at times even in the classroom.
11. We will get into this more deeply as the essay progresses, but I am going to begin to ask now. Imagine you disagree STRONGLY with a brother or sister in Christ about politics, music, anything. How might your approach to this brother to live out what Jesus is teaching here? Give an example.
My daughter and I watched the movie, “Wicked” but before we went, I talked with a couple of Christian friends about going to see it. Should I not see it because of the title? Should I support Hollywood or the main stars who are living immorally? We did go and enjoyed the music and the storyline. I believe it was clean and the lyrics to several songs were significant to both Ruth And me. I valued the time spent with my daughter and would have loved to talk about the Christian implications of the movie with her. But should have I done that knowing her “deconstruction” views over the last few years? I pray for a time for questions from her and the right and honest answers from me. I would appreciate your thoughts/advice. I included this here because I know all of you care.
Of course, we are talking about a brother or a sister in Christ here, but this situation was the uppermost in my mind. For a brother, I would pray for the right timing and to be gracious in clarifying where we both stand. For me to be willing to truly listen to the heart of the matter. I often remember Rebecca Pippert. And perhaps, have us open our Bibles and seek out the truth for ourselves. Encourage each other to be Bereans. To seek to understand. To offer intellectual hospitality. To look at the life of Jesus.
Bing, I feel your struggle with knowing when the time is right to discuss Christian aspect of things when we know the views they have about Jesus. I pray too for doors to open and they start the conversation so God can guide my answers.
Thank you, Julie. This study is convicting and thought-provoking. I find that more and more people I talked to, including, Christians, want to stay in “safe” waters. I pray for a boldness of heart for me and us all.
I may be wrong but I think what he meant about “romantic” oneness was imagining a lovely unity when actions and words show a real lack of love.
I agree with you all on how it can be difficult to share on certain subjects and to speak the truth in a loving and gentle way. I can be clumsy with my words and I pray not to be judgmental. I agree that I just pray for God to open the doors.
Tuesday: The Final Apologetic
Read up to the bold TRUE ONENESS
4. What stood out and why?
We must be able to defend our faith but actions always speak louder than words.
5. Do you know what is meant by apologetics? If not, look it up. (Miriam Webster was a Christian and it is evident in his definitions if you want to google him.)
It means the “defense of the faith.”
6. For whom does Schaeffer say Jesus is praying?
True Christians.
6. What does he mean when he says “Jesus is not praying for humanistic romantic oneness?”
He’s not praying for a worldly love between people that may bring peace and unity.
7. What does Schaeffer say Jesus’ point was about oneness in John 13?
If an individual Christian doesn’t show love toward other true Christians, the world has a right to judge that he is not a Christian.
8. And how does John 17 cut even deeper?
We can’t expect the world to believe that the Father sent the Son, that Jesus’ claims are true, and that Christianity is true, unless the world sees some reality of the oneness of true Christians.
9. What is the final apologetic the Christian gives to the world?
Oneness out of love for each other, so the world will believe that God sent Jesus.
Observable love of true Christians for true Christians.
10. Schaeffer says “for years Christians have done this very poorly.” Schaeffer wrote this 55 years ago, and I would say we have only gone downhill since then. Do you agree? Why or why not?
Christians have done poorly on this because they’ve gotten pulled in to looking at this as a humanistic romantic oneness. This is about Christian unity and love…how the Bible defines it, not how the world defines it.
11. We will get into this more deeply as the essay progresses, but I am going to begin to ask now. Imagine you disagree STRONGLY with a brother or sister in Christ about politics, music, anything. How might your approach to this brother to live out what Jesus is teaching here? Give an example.
I have come to realize as I get older that some things just aren’t important enough to get in a disagreement about. If we’re going to walk out this last apologetic we must extend grace.
Sharon, I feel this: “If we’re going to walk out this last apologetic we must extend grace.” I have realized that I have not been as gracious in many areas as I thought I was. what would Jesus do? He has shown so much grace to His disciples because He loved them so much but He was not blind to their misguided thoughts and actions. He was patient with all of them to the end although there was no turning back for Judas once he chose to betray Jesus.
I so agree with Sharon’s last statement too, Bing. Reading Generous Justice has been very convicting for me, about I can major on minors and not see real need right in front of me.
Extend grace YES!!!
Oh, I love all the truths that are in this last answer, Sharon! I am just starting “Generous Justice”. One source that is very good for those seekers who are “science minded” is The Discovery Institute. Dr. Stephen Meyer has written several books on Intelligent Design. His latest is called “The Return of the God Hypothesis”. There are many videos on YouTube that include discussions between atheists and believers, all are very educated people…very current information on evolution discoveries and great testimonies from Christians in Science. The Discovery Institute has been located in downtown Seattle for many years. It remains in the same neighborhood in order to help the homeless and drug dependent, who do not get good help from the city.
4. What stood out and why? “if an individual Christian does not show love toward other true Christians, the world has a right to judge that he or she is not a Christian.” Sometimes an “individual” Christian only see another as a “true” Christian if they believe and practice exactly the same as them so they think that they are showing love to true Christians when they only love those that believe the same as them.
5. Do you know what is meant by apologetics? If not, look it up. (Miriam Webster was a Christian and it is evident in his definitions if you want to google him.) Yes, I do.
6. For whom does Schaeffer say Jesus is praying? True Christians, those that were given to Jesus.
6. What does he mean when he says “Jesus is not praying for humanistic romantic oneness?” (There are 2 number 6) That Jesus is not praying for the world in general, but true Christian love and oneness.
7. What does Schaeffer say Jesus’ point was about oneness in John 13? That it wasn’t meant for segments of Christianity, but that all true Christians are one.
8. And how does John 17 cut even deeper? That it’s not only our love between other Christians, but that nonbelievers are watching.
9. What is the final apologetic the Christian gives to the world? That all of us believers are one, just as Jesus and God the Father are one.
10. Schaeffer says “for years Christians have done this very poorly.” Schaeffer wrote this 55 years ago, and I would say we have only gone downhill since then. Do you agree? Why or why not? I think that it waxes and wanes. We may be on a downhill right now, but there will be an upswing.
11. We will get into this more deeply as the essay progresses, but I am going to begin to ask now. Imagine you disagree STRONGLY with a brother or sister in Christ about politics, music, anything. How might your approach to this brother to live out what Jesus is teaching here? Give an example. I don’t have to imagine it, it is a reality in my life. There are issues in which I don’t know how a person can believe what they do and yet call themselves a Christian, but I still love that person and if our discussions start to get too intense, I tell them that I know that I don’t have all of the answers, but that I’ll continue to pray for God’s will and guidance and pray that they will do the same. We are all working out our salvation.
Amen to you answer to 11. Dawn! We are all working out our salvation. How I pray to see with the eyes of Christ, listen with the ears of Christ, and respond with the heart of Christ. Lord help me to do this daily.
I agree with Patti, Dawn!
Such a great reminder for us all Dawn with your answer to 11
4. What stood out and why?
This old song comes to mind:
https://open.spotify.com/track/5VcKkupvL3WIgjk4bQbvt1?si=A6_z3FymR4eGN5A-lgn8DQ&context=spotify%3Asearch%3Aby%2Bour%2Blove
5. Do you know what is meant by apologetics? If not, look it up. (Miriam Webster was a Christian and it is evident in his definitions if you want to google him.)
A defense of scripture.
6. For whom does Schaeffer say Jesus is praying?
All true Christians.
6. What does he mean when he says “Jesus is not praying for humanistic romantic oneness?”
He specifically praying for a oneness within those who believe; the true Christians.
Thank you for sharing that song, Laura. So good and so true.
Wednesday: Practicing Saying “I’m Sorry” and Meaning it.
Read up to TRUE FORGIVENESS
12. What stands out and why? – There are so many ‘little’ things that make up true oneness. To me, it’s like saying you believe in the Trinity, but you take out the Holy Spirit, or God or Jesus. You can’t have the Trinity without all of them in there. When we say I’m sorry, it’s like owning our mistake. I just read something yesterday about apologizing to someone, but you add the word ‘but’ right after the apology. Kind of makes it null and void, I think.
13. MEDITATE: Holiness without love is harshness. Love without holiness is compromise.
A. Challenge. A sister in the Lord feels it is unloving to not allow same-sex people who love each other to marry. Speak the truth in love to her — exemplifying both love and holiness. – Sister, God is love and loves us so much that he gave us His Word. It’s his instructional manual to us. If we believe in God, and His Word, we need to take it for truth. The whole Bible, not bits and pieces of it need to be read, put into our hearts and lived out. God says in His Word, that a man should leave his mother and cleave to his wife. This is the godly marriage He created. We have to take the whole Bible as one, we can’t take some parts out to fit our needs or agenda and we can’t add to it to make it ok when we know we aren’t following His Word. We can’t conform to the world’s ways, as Christians we have to follow the leading of the Bible.
B. Optional challenge as you may want to remain private on this. Whatever political party you belong to, share a weakness you see in its stand on some policy. It’s always helpful in a discussion to show you are not blind to sin, wherever it is. And this will also be a helpful exercise in how we respond to one another if and when we disagree! – On the voter’s registration I am listed as republican, but I vote with an open mind and heart. I will look for the agendas that match up to God’s Word the best.
14. Schaeffer says we do not automatically go and say “I’m sorry” when we have done, written, or said something that wounds a brother or sister. Do you agree? Why is this vital? – For me, saying I’m sorry is admitting I’ve done wrong in some way or another and who likes to admit they are wrong. But I feel it’s a very important thing to do. When we say I’m sorry and truly mean it, we are letting others know we care about them and love them. That we wouldn’t intentionally do something or say something to hurt them. But when we do say it, we need to remember what it was we said or did and not keep doing it, otherwise our I’m sorrys will be for nothing, they won’t mean a thing and our love for the other person will not show.
15. I have learned it is important to apologize even if you feel the other party shares some or even most of the blame — to still apologize for your part. And then to let it go, even if the other party does not confess to their part. Do you agree or disagree and why? – I do agree with this. We can only improve on our own actions and whether the other person apologizes or not, is on them. We need to make sure our hearts and minds are cleansed from any kind of sin.
16. In the transcript I have highlighted a statement I have never forgotten, though I read this book at least forty years ago. Share your thoughts on this, please. – I have always believed our words are powerful. They can hurt and be remembered for a very long time. They can lift a person up or tear them down and even keep them from searching out a relationship with Jesus. I try very hard to not speak out when I’m upset, mad or angry because nothing good will come out of my mouth at this time.
17. What components do you think make an effective apology and why? Have you done this personally, or has someone done it to you? Please share — illustrations help us. – Owning our words is a big part, I think. Apologizing right away or as soon as you realize there is an issue. At my job I was the Lead Accounts Payable Specialist and with that came training all new staff or current staff on new procedures. We had an older woman retiring and she was helping one of the new staff a lot, almost too much, where I was afraid the new employee would not be able to do her job in a timely manner. I don’t remember exactly what I said or how it came out, but I knew right away, that there was something wrong. The new employee would come by my desk and chit chat, and she stopped doing that. I went to her and asked her if something was wrong. She told me that what I said of me not thinking she could do her job was hurtful. I apologized for how it came out and told her I did not mean to hurt her or imply she didn’t know the job and that I knew she could do the job, but was worried the amount of work would overwhelm her with the older woman retiring. My intent was more out of concern for her and not to put her down or minimize her abilities.
18. What else stands out to you from this page and why? – I’m seeing the mark of a true Christian is not just reading your bible or knowing scripture verses, it’s so much more. It’s opening ourselves up to show our weaknesses. To owning those weaknesses and being real with others. To say I know I messed up and I’m not close to being like Jesus, but I’m working on, please forgive me.
“..you add the word ‘but’ right after the apology. Kind of makes it null and void, I think. I agree with that, Julie: null and void.
So good from Julie:
I’m seeing the mark of a true Christian is not just reading your bible or knowing scripture verses, it’s so much more. It’s opening ourselves up to show our weaknesses. To owning those weaknesses and being real with others. To say I know I messed up and I’m not close to being like Jesus, but I’m working on, please forgive me.
It’s tempting for me to put my grandchildren’s song up again to the tune of Old Macdonald about When You Give an apology, don’t you dare say but — with a but but but here and a but but there…
I just listened to that again as I saw it pop up on Facebook. It’s a perfect song for this lesson.
Julie, your answer to #18 is so good and convicting…good insight.
Love your thoughtful answers, Julie. Yes, “no buts” with an apology….Love your answer to 18 too! and this: I have always believed our words are powerful. They can hurt and be remembered for a very long time. They can lift a person up or tear them down and even keep them from searching out a relationship with Jesus. I try very hard to not speak out when I’m upset, mad or angry because nothing good will come out of my mouth at this time. ( I so relate to this!)
Wednesday: Practicing Saying “I’m Sorry” and Meaning it.
Read up to TRUE FORGIVENESS
12. What stands out and why?
Two things: How Christians are to exhibit God’s holiness and love, not just one without the other. I see this as lacking in the church at large. Secondly Schaeffer’s statement about the scars and bitterness caused by divisive speech, “…we leave scars — a curse for generations. Not just a curse in the church, but a curse in the world.” To view this behavior as a CURSE really drives home his point, and is a new way of thinking for me.
13. MEDITATE: Holiness without love is harshness. Love without holiness is compromise.
A. Challenge. A sister in the Lord feels it is unloving to not allow same-sex people who love each other to marry. Speak the truth in love to her — exemplifying both love and holiness.
I struggled with this challenge, because there are so many variables. The underlying issue here is homosexuality, marriage is not the real issue. I would need to ask this sister to explain her thoughts a little more and listen carefully to her speak trying to understand her thoughts and feelings. We might talk about God’s love, and I would refer to verses that speak about God’s holiness (Jesus is Lamb and Lion). We might talk about our love for others, and I would again point to scripture. If my sister does not recognize that homosexuality is a sinful practice, this would be a short conversation.
Some questions I might ask are: Have you seen this in the Bible… are you familiar with this in the Bible… have you considered this… can we pray about this and talk againI have not read anyone else’s comments, very interested to see responses.
14. Schaeffer says we do not automatically go and say “I’m sorry” when we have done, written, or said something that wounds a brother or sister. Do you agree? Why is this vital?
I agree. I try to say I’m sorry as soon as I become aware of an action that wounds, better to be careful to NOT wound thru my speech or actions. It’s vital because some people can hold on to the feeling of being hurt/offended and become angry/bitter.
15. I have learned it is important to apologize even if you feel the other party shares some or even most of the blame — to still apologize for your part. And then to let it go, even if the other party does not confess to their part. Do you agree or disagree and why?
I agree, Dee. We can only be responsible for our own actions, and I’ve found that my apology for my part most times leads to reconciliation and eventual apology from the other person. Even if the other party NEVER admits anything, I still am better not having a root of anger/bitterness in my heart.
16. In the transcript I have highlighted a statement I have never forgotten, though I read this book at least forty years ago. Share your thoughts on this, please.
“…stick in the mind like glue.” I’ve seen and heard of people who can’t get past something that happened years before at a church. They might created division, go to another church, or leave church completely out of their lives (no fellowship).
I think that not only should I be careful not to offend, but also be careful to not be offended. A speaker at a conference I attended said, “Once we allow something to offend us, we’re are caught in Satan’s trap.” Satan’s tools are anger, bitterness, being upset; all of these are the exact opposite of the fruits of the Spirit.
A true understanding of my identity in Christ has been like a shield against words or actions that might cause hurt otherwise.
17. What components do you think make an effective apology and why? Have you done this personally, or has someone done it to you? Please share — illustrations help us.
An effective apology recognizes the hurt you caused and takes responsibility for that action.
I think I told you last week about the woman I tried to get up on the dais with the worship team. My apology was something like this (don’t remember exact word) : I am so sorry that I tried to make you do something you did not want to do.
18. What else stands out to you from this page and why?
How our hurtful words/actions can extend from one person/group into the world. It’s like a ripple effect, destroying the church’s witness. “Not just a curse in the church, but a curse in the world.”
When the other party never admits wrong, we do need to ask God’s grace not to be bitter!!! Can’t do it on our own!
So good Cheryl… “How our hurtful words/actions can extend from one person/group into the world. It’s like a ripple effect, destroying the church’s witness. “Not just a curse in the church, but a curse in the world.”
Amen to Dee, Cheryl Ann!
I also love love love your point here: I think that not only should I be careful not to offend, but also be careful to not be offended. A speaker at a conference I attended said, “Once we allow something to offend us, we’re are caught in Satan’s trap.” Satan’s tools are anger, bitterness, being upset; all of these are the exact opposite of the fruits of the Spirit.
So true! Jesus was never offended!
I apologize if this is a duplicate.
Wednesday: Practicing Saying “I’m Sorry” and Meaning it.
Read up to TRUE FORGIVENESS
12. What stands out and why?
13. MEDITATE: Holiness without love is harshness. Love without holiness is compromise.
A. Challenge. A sister in the Lord feels it is unloving to not allow same-sex people who love each other to marry. Speak the truth in love to her — exemplifying both love and holiness.
I’m not going to say too much because I get myself in trouble when I do😜.
I would direct her to Romans 1 and share with her that God in His holiness and because of His love will not lower His standards and neither should we . We are to be holy as He is holy, 1 Peter 1:15. It’s not a matter of being unloving but rather being right before God and understanding that we have to answer to Him.
B. Optional challenge as you may want to remain private on this. Whatever political party you belong to, share a weakness you see in its stand on some policy. It’s always helpful in a discussion to show you are not blind to sin, wherever it is. And this will also be a helpful exercise in how we respond to one another if and when we disagree!
I see a weakness in its policy on abortion.
14. Schaeffer says we do not automatically go and say “I’m sorry” when we have done, written, or said something that wounds a brother or sister. Do you agree? Why is this vital?
I agree with this because we’re human (no excuses) and pride will rear its ugly head which causes justification in not seeking forgiveness.
It is vital that we do say we’re sorry as soon as we realize we’ve wounded a brother or sister and the quicker, the better… before we make excuses as to why we don’t need to say we’re sorry and the wound becomes so deep that that healing will take longer and possibly not heal at all. Sadly, the world sees too much of that going on among Christians.
(I do have a question. If you’re the one that has been wounded, should you let that be known or just forgive?)
15. I have learned it is important to apologize even if you feel the other party shares some or even most of the blame — to still apologize for your part. And then to let it go, even if the other party does not confess to their part. Do you agree or disagree and why?
Oh Dee, I do agree, but I also think letting go doesn’t mean you forget but rather forgive (don’t hold a grudge and put it in God’s hands).
16. In the transcript I have highlighted a statement I have never forgotten, though I read this book at least forty years ago. Share your thoughts on this, please.
Sadly, I have seen this happen and embarrassingly have been a part of it. The part where he says, “these stick in the mind like glue” is so true. I want to share a recent situation that went on in our church where my husband received a phone call asking if he or I had any grievances toward the pastor, what they were and would we like to be part of a meeting in airing these to the pastor. My husband’s response to her was, he felt that this person was asking people to gossip and he (my husband and I) being a part of something like this in the past, vowed we’d never do it again for the damage it caused.
17. What components do you think make an effective apology and why? Have you done this personally, or has someone done it to you? Please share — illustrations help us.
A repentant heart, sincere apology and time to heal.
18. What else stands out to you from this page and why?
It is a duplicate but worth reading a second time. Your account of the situation regarding gossip caused me to stop and consider. Would you say that gossip is a way of hurting someone, and that the hurt is hardly ever acknowledged or apologized for? I can see that the hurt can have a lasting effect, driving people away from the church fellowship it’s as wounding as a direct word or action
Dear Lord, May this situation at Sharon’s church not go any further. I pray the words of her husband to that caller would make a difference and cause people to stop and reconsider their actions. Holy Spirit work in the hearts of all involved to restore unity among them. In Jesus name and for His sake, amen.
Good point about gossip Cheryl. We had a pastor once say, “gossip will probably tear a church apart faster than anything else.” Thank you for your prayer❤️
Sharon has a good question:
(I do have a question. If you’re the one that has been wounded, should you let that be known or just forgive?)
I think it depends. If a store clerk has been rude and I’ve been rude back, definitely just own my own. And I think that is usually the higher road, but if there is a pattern, say in a marriage, I might use “I” words to say something like “This indeed may be confusing on my part, but it might help you to know I feel unloved when I don’t get something personal from you on Christmas, even though we agreed to make our gift the new furnace.” I think pattern may be the key. And if you think it will do any good.
Would love to hear others weigh in.
The is golden! A repentant heart, sincere apology and time to heal.
Love your husband’s response to the woman caller!! If I hear someone gossip about another, I immediately sense that they might have words to share about me when I am not in their presence.
I agree that Jim’s response to that caller was perfect. I hope it put a kibosh on the meeting.
Amen to Dee. I pray that this issue in your church does not go further. Lord, I ask that you take charge of the hearts of the people in Sharon’s church. Give them mercy and grace and quiet their tongues. In Jesus Name I pray.
Tuesday: The Final Apologetic
Read up to the bold TRUE ONENESS
4. What stood out and why?
—He said “If the world does not see this down-to-earth practical love, it will not believe that Christ was sent by the Father. People will not believe only on the basis of the proper answers. The two should not be placed in antithesis. The world must have the proper answers to their honest questions, but at the same time there must be a oneness in love between all true Christians. This is what is needed if men are to know that Jesus was sent by the Father and that Christianity is true.”
—His comment “People will not believe only on the basis of the proper answers.” stood out to me. Truth alone does not bring about belief. Love is a major element to recognizing that Christianity is real. It is the love of Jesus that changes people’s hearts. And when that love is shared and lived out people are drawn in. There is an irresistible and winsome character in love.
5. Do you know what is meant by apologetics? If not, look it up. (Miriam Webster was a Christian and it is evident in his definitions if you want to google him.).
—According to Webster “Apologetics is a branch of theology devoted to the defense of the divine origin and authority of Christianity.”
6. For whom does Schaeffer say Jesus is praying?
—He is praying for true Christians.
6. What does he mean when he says “Jesus is not praying for humanistic romantic oneness?”
—He says it is not about people in general with a humanistic point of view.
7. What does Schaeffer say Jesus’ point was about oneness in John 13?
—His point is that not just part of true Christians
but all born again Christians should be one. He said the point was
that, “if an individual Christian does not show love toward other true Christians, the world
has a right to judge that he or she is not a Christian.”
8. And how does John 17 cut even deeper?
—In John 17 Jesus makes a clear distinction between non Christians and true believers. He says “That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have
sent me.” Our oneness should reflect the Oneness of the Trinity and be a testimony to the World that the Father sent the Son.
9. What is the final apologetic the Christian gives to the world?
—That all believers be one just like The Father and the Son.
10. Schaeffer says “for years Christians have done this very poorly.” Schaeffer wrote this 55 years ago, and I would say we have only gone downhill since then. Do you agree? Why or why not?
—I definitely agree. I think in great measure the
me-ism of our present day culture works against a mindset of oneness and unity. Everyone is encouraged to do their own thing or what pleases them. We live in a very feelings oriented society. And I think that mindset bleeds over into the church.
11. We will get into this m0re deeply as the essay progresses, but I am going to begin to ask now. Imagine you disagree STRONGLY with a brother or sister in Christ about politics, music, anything. How might your approach to this brother to live out what Jesus is teaching here? Give an example.
—Ok Dee you asked for an example! Last September my sister and our two brothers and myself spent 4 days together on vacation in a condo in Colorado. While together we engaged in many conversations. We are all believers and God has done a gracious work of bringing us together in Him. But we still all bring our own schools of thought to the table and there are differences. Our brothers have STRONG opinions and preferences about church music. We all have musical abilities and my sister has been the church pianist / organist at her church for well over 50 years.
My sister and I have a much more tolerant view which may be partly due to the influence of our grandchildren. Anyway my oldest brother was rather forcefully expounding his opinions and because I am much older now I chose carefully to counter him. Because our history has been that I am noted in the family as having been the outspoken one my credibility has suffered. But that night our oldest brother who is worthy of respect rather soundly gave his opinion and said it as though it was the final word. The joke in our family based in truth is that my brothers and I all like my sister the best. So as the conversation progressed my sister with some tears in her eyes interjected some of her thoughts. She has always been the gracious mediator middle child. But that night in that conversation her speaking up gently in agreement with me was very significant. But after all was said and done I felt God prompting me to go to my brother and tell him that it was important for me to have him know that I deeply respected and loved him. Believe me that was God. But my career ex-military brother with his doctorate was visibly moved by my comments to him. My sister and I don’t have a college education but only have high school degrees. The beauty is that since my expressing to him my love and respect our relationship is definitely closer. Our oneness is definitely because of Jesus.
Bev, I love the example of time spent with your brothers and sister in Colorado. You extended grace in such a lovely way, with your love and respect. Love seeing Jesus at work in relationships!
Bev, you hit the nail on the head and stepped on my toes😜…” I think in great measure the me-ism of our present day culture works against a mindset of oneness and unity. Everyone is encouraged to do their own thing or what pleases them. We live in a very feelings oriented society. And I think that mindset bleeds over into the church.”
Amen, Sharon!
Bev, so good about your conversations with your siblings. I am very thankful to my brother and sister for the love they have shown me through our growing-up years. My sister and I were very close even when distance separated us for many years before she died. My brother always had an ear to listen to me even now. Your comments here made me pause to think about my siblings and express my thanks to God for giving them to me.
What a beautiful example of Christ’s healing love, Bev!
12. What stands out and why?
The tongue (and the pen) are vicious weapons. We need to filter our thoughts and feelings before we express them. We need to have Christ’s love in our heart. How I pray that I will catch the negative or inappropriate words before they fall off my tongue.
13. MEDITATE: Holiness without love is harshness. Love without holiness is compromise.
A. Challenge. A sister in the Lord feels it is unloving to not allow same-sex people who love each other to marry. Speak the truth in love to her — exemplifying both love and holiness.
This is a difficult subject and I think how it is handled depends on how well you know the sister you are discussing it with. I the God’s Word is the best place to start.
B. Optional challenge as you may want to remain private on this. Whatever political party you belong to, share a weakness you see in its stand on some policy. It’s always helpful in a discussion to show you are not blind to sin, wherever it is. And this will also be a helpful exercise in how we respond to one another if and when we disagree!
I think all political parties have inconsistencies and weaknesses. If I disagree with someone on this subject, I usually just listen to what they are saying and try to see their point of view. So many of the political issues go back to the “self” and what someone wants that is convenient, even if it is sinful. It is a subject that can ignite a firestorm of emotions.
14. Schaeffer says we do not automatically go and say “I’m sorry” when we have done, written, or said something that wounds a brother or sister. Do you agree? Why is this vital?
I think it is so important to say “I’m sorry” as soon as you realize you have hurt someone. I sometimes say things that come out wrong, so I pray for that “Holy filter” with my thoughts and words.
15. I have learned it is important to apologize even if you feel the other party shares some or even most of the blame — to still apologize for your part. And then to let it go, even if the other party does not confess to their part. Do you agree or disagree and why?
I totally agree with this. We cannot control the conscience or the words of another person. I want to be right with God, more than anything in my life and I want to show His love and do my part, even if I may appear weak. Our society has so turned away from kindness, in many ways. It sometimes feels like a competition of who is right.
16. In the transcript I have highlighted a statement I have never forgotten, though I read this book at least forty years ago. Share your thoughts on this, please.
This is so so true. Bitter things stick like glue! The echo of words that are hurtful can go deep in your soul and sit in your heart like lead. When people get angry, they can say things they do not mean~yet those words hang in the air and cannot be erased. How I pray to see with the eyes of Christ, to be in His Word and to speak with the love of Christ and to hear others with the ears of Christ. (I think I have said this a few times before, but it is something I personally need to remember.) I want to represent Christ in a godly way and not leave a scar on any heart. I pray to listen carefully and answer more carefully. SO HARD! Thank you for highlighting that Dee!!
17. What components do you think make an effective apology and why? Have you done this personally, or has someone done it to you? Please share — illustrations help us.
Sincere words and actions that validate your words. I said something that hurt my daughter’s feelings and it was not even a criticism, but I apologized immediately. It still hurts my heart that I even said it, though I think she has forgotten about it….but I have not. The Lord reminding me, helps me to keep from doing it again.
18. What else stands out to you from this page and why?
Words can be healing or a weapon. Pray before speaking. Forgive, even without someone’s apology. Our heart attitude is important. Sometimes, when people are rude, they have deeper problems that are not about us.
Lord, Help me to answer with love, even when I am not treated with love. Lord, help to express a hurt in a gentle way, if I am hurt. Help me to forgive quickly and focus on repairing the relationship. I cannot live rightly without You.
Patti, your first and last answers are like bookends and are a good reminder for me to pray and think before I speak and yes…”we can’t live rightly without Him!”
What you said about people’s rudeness because of a deeper problem is helpful. Patti. I think sometimes we are to quick to judge and react or take offense.
Patti — I love your “Before speaking, forgive, even without someone’s apology.
That has to be supernatural — we can’t do it without Him.
Patti, There is so much wisdom in your answers in this section. your answer and prayer in question 18 capsulizes it so well.
7. What does Schaeffer say Jesus’ point was about oneness in John 13?
The world has the right to judge if we don’t show oneness between each other as Christians.
8. And how does John 17 cut even deeper?
The world may not believe that Jesus was sent by the Father and that Jesus and Christianity are true.
9. What is the final apologetic the Christian gives to the world?
Oneness as Christians; love for each other.
10. Schaeffer says “for years Christians have done this very poorly.” Schaeffer wrote this 55 years ago, and I would say we have only gone downhill since then. Do you agree? Why or why not?
I agree. We are definitely of the “me” era. It’s all about me, and nothing about others. it takes time to care for others. People assume others will not understand. For example, example people leave churches all the time.they leave for one reason or another, but usually something that they don’t care for about the church. What they don’t consider is how it makes other people feel within the church. The body of people, the congregation, is the church. It’s not the pastor. It’s not the music. It’s not the decoration or the pomp and circumstance. How about working together to make things better within the church?
Laura, I have seen the same as you when it comes to people leaving churches and their reasons. I listened to Paige Browns teaching this week on the book of Ruth. She make a similar point about this.
Oh, Laura1 I have seen this more than I would like to see or experience. We should work together like a family should and we are even called to a higher standard because we belong to God’s family.
THURSDAY: TRULY FORGIVING FROM THE HEART
Read up to WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE
19. What stands out and why?
If I expect God to forgive me, I must be forgiving as well.
When I feel a disconnect in my fellowship with God, it could be an unforgiving spirit within me.
20. Have you ever forgiven in the head but not the heart? How do you know the difference?
Yes. If it’s not from the heart my relationship with the person is not mended and my relationship with God is broken. It makes me a miserable person.
21. What clarification does Schaeffer make about the line in the Lord’s prayer: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
It has nothing to do with salvation but rather forgiving others/all men as God has forgiven us. Being the first to be sorry regardless if the other person expresses their wrong.
22. Often a trespass is so grievous we have to keep taking it before the Lord. Do you agree? If this is you, let us pray for you for this is truly difficult.
Agree
23. What judgment does the world make when it sees unforgiveness? Why is this true?
That we are not Christians and that Christ was not sent by the Father.
It’s true because where there is no forgiveness which the world can observe is happening, there is no unity and therefore the world has the right to judge.
THURSDAY: TRULY FORGIVING FROM THE HEART
Read up to WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE
19. What stands out and why?
Your highlighted portion, And if the world does not observe this among true Christians, the world has a right to make the two awful judgments that these verses indicate: That we are not Christians, and that Christ was not sent by the Father.
You are NOT Christians, Christ was NOT sent by the Father. To think that our squabbles and harsh actions toward each other actually DENY the truth, is chilling thought.
20. Have you ever forgiven in the head but not the heart? How do you know the difference?
To forgive in the head but not the heart is saying the words, “I forgive you,” but not letting go of it. If I continure to think of a hurt, dwelling on it, maybe even bringing it up later, then my heart was not involved in the forgivenes
Eph. 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
21. What clarification does Schaeffer make about the line in the Lord’s prayer: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
He said that we are to have a forgiving spirt before the other person expresses regret that this shows a oneness in the Body. Might I even go a step further, have a forgiving spirit even if the other person NEVER expresses regret?
22. Often a trespass is so grievous we have to keep taking it before the Lord. Do you agree? If this is you, let us pray for you for this is truly difficult.
I have not experienced this.
23. What judgment does the world make when it sees unforgiveness? Why is this true?
You are not Christians, and Christ was not sent by the Father.
When Christians act like the world, all the while claiming to be different, the world sees hypocrisy and will ignore whatever truths we might try to proclaim. Schaeffer says, they have a right to judge in that manner.
Paul says in I Co 11:31 that if we judge OURSELVES, we would not be judged. In context he is talking about unseemly behavior and being chastened by the Lord. Could not this also be applied to the topic of oneness and forgiveness? That if we judge our own words and actions, making corrections in our lives, the world would have no evidence to judge us hypocrites. Instead they might be drawn to believe.
Love your answer to 23. Cheryl Ann! So good!! Love this: Paul says in I Co 11:31 that if we judge OURSELVES, we would not be judged. In context he is talking about unseemly behavior and being chastened by the Lord. Could not this also be applied to the topic of oneness and forgiveness? That if we judge our own words and actions, making corrections in our lives, the world would have no evidence to judge us hypocrites. Instead they might be drawn to believe.
I so agree Cheryl: To think that our squabbles and harsh actions toward each other actually DENY the truth, is chilling thought.
Read up to WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE
19. What stands out and why?
I think true forgiveness can be difficult, but I always need to remember how much our Father in heaven has forgiven me. My attitude as a Christian reflects on God and what people will think of Him. If I claim He is Lord, but I do not live up to what He asks of me, I am letting him down (and myself). I need to recite the Lord’s prayer when my heart is unforgiving.
20. Have you ever forgiven in the head but not the heart? How do you know the difference?
When my heart and head both forgive, I don’t bring it up ever again. If you bring it up, it means that you have been keeping somewhere in your heart. It is a fragile thing to be able to fully forgive and let go of something, and sometimes it can keep coming back in my head and I need to pray for the Holy Spirit to help me let go.
I can learn a lesson from a sin that is committed against me, but I feel that it is important that I let go of it. It is even worse to sin against another…it is really hard to let go of the guilt of hurting another person.
21. What clarification does Schaeffer make about the line in the Lord’s prayer: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Schaeffer says that most people don’t take it seriously, or they just gloss over the words; we don’t realize that we are harming our own fellowship with the Father, if we don’t honor the words He taught us to pray. I need to take those words seriously ever time I pray.
22. Often a trespass is so grievous we have to keep taking it before the Lord. Do you agree? If this is you, let us pray for you for this is truly difficult.
I agree with this. I pray to never hang onto another’s sin against me. It is never helpful.
23. What judgment does the world make when it sees unforgiveness? Why is this true?
The world does not see the power of God in my life, if I have an unforgiving heart. It takes away the credible of my witness for the Lord.
THURSDAY: TRULY FORGIVING FROM THE HEART
Read up to WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE
19. What stands out and why? – To think that some Christians don’t believe the Lord’s prayer is for today. This is surprising to me with as much as it is repeated. I try very hard to extend all the blessings that I’m given by the Lord to others. I don’t do a good job all the time, but I do believe that is something Christians should do.
20. Have you ever forgiven in the head but not the heart? How do you know the difference? – Yes, I would have to say I have. I know it’s not coming from my heart when I dwell on the issue that was in the past and continue to mumble and grumble about it, even though I’ve forgiven the person already. I haven’t forgotten about the issue completely.
21. What clarification does Schaeffer make about the line in the Lord’s prayer: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” – We don’t think about how often we forgive someone even though God forgives us on a daily basis. Ouch. This was convicting.
22. Often a trespass is so grievous we have to keep taking it before the Lord. Do you agree? If this is you, let us pray for you for this is truly difficult. – For me I would say yes and no. When the trespass happens, I would bring it to the Lord and probably do some crying or show some anger and hurt feelings with my prayer, but I also think once I bring it to the Lord, I can lay it at his feet and ask him to help me find peace with the situation. I think if I keep going back to Him with the same thing, I will never get out of the hurt that I may be in. He is a just and true God, so I feel like I need to leave it at his feet so he can take care of the situation. Now I don’t always do this, but I feel continuing to bring it to him will keep me dwelling in the trespass and not allowing myself to heal and find peace and forgiveness in my heart.
23. What judgment does the world make when it sees unforgiveness? Why is this true? – I think what they see is a harsh, angry person. One who doesn’t have a relationship with Jesus and don’t care about others. They see a person living in a poor me, I’m the victim type world. They don’t live in the world God created which is a loving world.
Yes, Julie, some strong dispensationalists think that prayer is just for Israel and the coming Kingdom. I don’t agree either!
Wednesday: Practicing Saying “I’m Sorry” and Meaning it.
Read up to TRUE FORGIVENESS
12. What stands out and why?
Observable oneness-wow! It is not necessarily that we disagree but the vitriol of our sharp tongues and the lack of love that can result in generational bitterness. And the world sees the division and “shrugs their shoulders and walk away”.
13. MEDITATE: Holiness without love is harshness. Love without holiness is compromise.
A. Challenge. A sister in the Lord feels it is unloving to not allow same-sex people who love each other to marry. Speak the truth in love to her — exemplifying both love and holiness.
Oh, this is so hard. First of all, I hope that I have a good, loving relationship with this sister. And pray for the opportunity to talk to her about it. Be ready to listen to why she believes what she believes. Ultimately, we need to agree to look at God’s Word and what it has to say about biblical marriage. and when all is said and done, to tell my sister that I still love her.
B. Optional challenge as you may want to remain private on this. Whatever political party you belong to, share a weakness you see in its stand on some policy. It’s always helpful in a discussion to show you are not blind to sin, wherever it is. And this will also be a helpful exercise in how we respond to one another if and when we disagree!
My vote goes for the one that I believe stands for what is right. My husband helps me with bio and data about certain candidates but he leaves it up to me to choose.
14. Schaeffer says we do not automatically go and say “I’m sorry” when we have done, written, or said something that wounds a brother or sister. Do you agree? Why is this vital?
I agree. I think there is a tendency to preserve self and try to justify our actions and criticize/focus on the wrong part the other person has committed. “I’m sorry” is the first step to moving one along the path of reconciliation.
15. I have learned it is important to apologize even if you feel the other party shares some or even most of the blame — to still apologize for your part. And then to let it go, even if the other party does not confess to their part. Do you agree or disagree and why?
I agree. I need to let it go. A friend of mine once said, “Be slow to take offense”.
16. In the transcript I have highlighted a statement I have never forgotten, though I read this book at least forty years ago. Share your thoughts on this, please.
“Many Christians rarely or never seem to connect their own lack of reality of fellowship with God with their lack of forgiveness to others, even though they may say the Lord’s Prayer in a formal way over and over in their weekly Sunday worship services”
I am the closest to God when I can honestly go to Him, be made aware of my unforgiveness, deal with it as I should, and repent of this sin. Only then can I have the unencumbered fellowship with God.
17. What components do you think make an effective apology and why? Have you done this personally, or has someone done it to you? Please share — illustrations help us.
To go to the person face to face, acknowledge your part, and say you are sorry. A friend in the past talked to me about the hurt she felt when I asked somebody else to do something that she already had started doing for me. I was so taken aback but realized how what I did could have come across to her. Inside I wanted to rationalize but I also realized there and then that I value this friend very much. So I mentally stopped all the rationalizations in my mind, said I was sorry, and that I did not mean to hurt her feelings. We both cried and hugged each other and prayed together. I felt like our friendship became stronger after that.
18. What else stands out to you from this page and why?
To be able to observe or it does not fit into the structure of the verses in John 13 and 17. And if the world does not observe this among true Christians, the world has a right to make the two awful judgments that these verses indicate: That we are not Christians and that Christ was not sent by the Father.
What a convicting statement of my role to show Christ to the world through my actions toward my Christian brothers and sisters.
THURSDAY: TRULY FORGIVING FROM THE HEART
Read up to WHEN CHRISTIANS DISAGREE
19. What stands out and why?
Oops…I think I read the wrong page for question 18. This should have been what you were referring to for question 18.
What divides and severs true Christian groups and Christians—what leaves a bitterness that can last for 20, 30, or 40 years (or for 50 or 60 years in a son’s or daughter’s memory)—is not the issue of doctrine or belief that caused the differences in the first place. Invariably, it is a lack of love–and the bitter things that are said by true Christians in the midst of differences. These stick in the mind like glue.
20. Have you ever forgiven in the head but not the heart? How do you know the difference?
Yes. I think if you have only forgiven from the head, the issue keeps coming back and there is a repeating of the offense in your mind. When you forgive from the heart, when you see the other person, you can be loving to them even though they may not respond in kind.
21. What clarification does Schaeffer make about the line in the Lord’s prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
This has touched me deeply: But it does have to do with a Christian’s existential, moment-by-moment forgiveness for our sins on the basis of Christ’s work in order to be in open fellowship with God. What the Lord has taught us to pray in the Lord’s Prayer should make a Christian very sober every day of his or her life: We are asking the Lord to open to us the experiential realities of fellowship with himself as we forgive others.
Practically speaking: when I see a brother or sister in Christ who has offended me before and this ugly thing of resentment, or unforgiveness wells up inside of me, I should say that line “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us”. I believe praying this will rid me of my ego and God will hear my call for his mercy and grace and experience Him.
22. Often a trespass is so grievous we have to keep taking it before the Lord. Do you agree? If this is you, let us pray for you for this is truly difficult.
I think the hardest and most grievous trespass I can think of is what was done against my loved ones, Richard and Ruth. Pray for me.
23. What judgment does the world make when it sees unforgiveness? Why is this true?
That we are not true Christians ( we are just like anyone else) and that God did not send Jesus (there is no need for Him to come and make us new).
11. We will get into this m0re deeply as the essay progresses, but I am going to begin to ask now. Imagine you disagree STRONGLY with a brother or sister in Christ about politics, music, anything. How might your approach to this brother to live out what Jesus is teaching here? Give an example.
Well, I am a blabbermouth at times; giving my viewpoint about a subject before I know where others may stand. Ugh! I think acknowledging that we are all different, God made us that way, and we are all made in the image of Him, is important to keep in mind. We don’t have to agree on everything!
My big example was what happened during covid. Some people didn’t want to ge the shot. Some did. It’s not my business whether you did or didn’t. This is America, where we have choices. I am called to respect your decision. People went crazy! If you were someone who didn’t take the shot then you were shunned. Some families are still dealing with that fallout today. It’s awful. The government and the powers that be encouraged this terrible behavior too! I was stunned and saddened that folks in my country would act this was to one another.
Please weigh in — I wasn’t going to do these three weeks with Paige on Ruth, but it is so good I’m reconsidering and would post the first study this coming Sunday. Let me know your thoughts — I find it is easier because the 1st week is just the 1st chapter of Ruth, the 2nd the 2nd, and she will finish with the 3rd and the 4th. I can’t do the transcript, but I think I can do it so that even if you can’t watch it all, it will make sense for I could summarize. I would keep posting on Sundays, and you could watch what you could. I will probably get a mixed reaction, but your responses will still help. I’m also ready to just continue with John and Keller. May the Lord guide us!
I watched it this week and I agree that it is excellent. I pray for the Lord’s guidance for all of this. It is worth listening to, even if we don’t answer q questions.
I also listened to her and it is so good. I gleaned a great deal and feel I have a much better understanding of the “whole” story regarding Naomi and not the romanticized view of the book. She has a very tender heart as she shares toward the end of the lesson.
I felt that way too, Bev!
My husband and I watched Paige on Wednesday. It was good as always. I would be up for a study on it. I missed not having questions to answer after watching.
The book of Ruth has always had a special place in my heart for many reasons. I would love to do it here, Dee. May the Lord guide us. I will be listening to Paige no matter what you decide.
I will do whatever you want. I struggle recently with fitting anything in, but will do my best. I’m finding this week difficult for some weird reason 🤷🏻♀️.
Dee, after listening to Paige last night, I realize some of the things that were confusing to me about Ruth’s story have become clearer. She always has a way of pointing me to the works of God in people’s lives despite their dire and seemingly impossible circumstances.
Wednesday: Practicing Saying “I’m Sorry” and Meaning it.
Read up to TRUE FORGIVENESS
12. What stands out and why?
—This truth stands out to me “Holiness without love is harshness. Love without holiness is compromise.” Here is the challenge to have and practice balance in my life personally toward others and corporately as part of a fellowship of believers which is primarily my church group. It kind of comes down to can I disagree without being disagreeable. Speaking the truth in love is far harder than it sounds. Even when I am completely sincere I can come across as hard. Sometimes I just don’t articulate my thoughts very well. I’ve learned with age the need to just be more careful when speaking my mind.
In response to 13 B I would say I have a very strong opinion on abortion as I think most here do. I have been a registered Republican for many years. It is only natural that I am because of where I have grown up and lived. But I see a definite compromise in the party on its position on abortion in what I believe to be a bowing to cultural pressure of an ungodly worldly mindset. I have always considered abortion a watershed issue and have tried to vote for individuals according to their stance on it. I even considered becoming an independent because of my differences. But stepping away from the political to the personal I have to shift from my harsh stance to a loving heart for those I know personally who have had or been affected by an abortion. Even though I can’t compromise what God considers holy and sacred that being human life I have to live out and express compassion for my sisters who hurt deeply over abortions affects on their lives.
In answer to question 14
Schaeffer said it is invariably the lack of love that keeps us from saying we are sorry. I agree but I would add I think plain old pride keeps us from it as well. To say you are sorry is to admit you are wrong and that is a very hard thing for the flesh to do.
A number of years ago in an intense discussion I was misunderstood and at the time didn’t realize it. A friend who was there and heard the exchange pointed out what the other person thought I said but wasn’t what I meant had caused hardness toward me and encouraged me to go apologize. I did not because it was complicated but I should have and I regret that I didn’t. From then on our relationship continued but was not the same. She died prematurely and is now with the Lord and I live with that element of regret because I didn’t listen to my wise friend.
Love this whole post.
Oh Bev, this whole post is so thought provoking. Thank you for your openness.
Oh, Bev! I agree with Julie and Dee. I love your entire post. I agree that failure to apologize can cause terrible regret. I think you express so clearly what many of us feel about the holiness of human life, yet we need the compassion for those who have experienced things we can’t fully understand. I do know may who hurt deeply over abortions. We live in a very fragile time.
12. What stands out and why?
I guess the lack of love and bitterness statement that caught my attention. Sticking like glue. How true that is. Our daughter and her husband think we are “fake Christians.” It’s probably because they aren’t in control of the grands’ situation, of course; they aren’t getting what they want and they blame us. But, it has made me think about that. Am I acting in love? We can’t be a doormat. Even Jesus said enough to the woman at the well, right? It is difficult.
13. MEDITATE: Holiness without love is harshness. Love without holiness is compromise.
I get the holiness without love being harsh, but I’m not so sure about the compromise statement. To compromise means one gives as the other does. So doesn’t mean that being loving only does not portray God as He really is, as holy? Not sure here.
Let me give you an example of love without holiness.
I love you so much that I will go with you when you get an abortion because I understand you don’t want to do this by yourself.
Do you see the compromise?
Oh, wow. This makes it even clearer. Thanks Dee.
Amen to Julie. That is very clear, Dee. Thank you.
Oh, wow, Dee! That is such a clearer example of love without holiness.
Friday: Regret
24. Read this section on regret and share what stands out and why.
“So let us consider this: is my difference with my brother in Christ crucially important?”
This to me should be the guiding principle, as Schaeffer stated it. I cannot count the times I’ve seen division over something that is not essential. How people love to be “right,” and to argue over their opinions, claiming that theirs is the only Christian stance.
Schaeffer’s remarks about first praying about a difference, and only then responding in an observable, loving way is the only way for believers. I appreciated his scripture references, and there are many more, showing us how to live in unity.
I think it’s important also to realize that “I” might be the one with the wrong interpretation/view. I need to really listen to the other point of view, not just dismiss it summarily.
Love this post, Cheryl. So good.
Amen!
Friday: Regret
24. Read this section on regret and share what stands out and why. – I think for me, body language plays a big part in what someone is saying. The tone of their voice, their stance, things like that. These things give me insight if they are that belligerent person, or if they truly are trying to help me see a different way of things. I remember a time when my older son put a fishing line across the hallway knowing I would be the next person down that hall. I was so mad, I had to call my parents for them to get to my house because I had to stay away from him, that’s how mad I was. They came and talked to him and made him say he was sorry to me. But sadly, the way it was said, because my parents had to tell him to say he was sorry, made me feel it was not a sincere apology. There was no remorse or regret in his eyes and the tone was not a sorry tone. So many factors come in to play and we need to remember how our words can hurt or heal. If we are made in the likeness of Christ our words should be a healing balm. This is something I’m working on perfecting. Please pour down your help to me Lord.
I totally agree that body language is important for honest communication, Julie, which is why discussion online/texting can be easily misinterpreted.
Such good points from Julie and Cheryl and why we should never discuss hard things online or through texting or e-mail!
24. Read this section on regret and share what stands out and why.
I love all that Schaeffer wrote in the section. I agree that body language is very important. Countenance and sincerity are bonded together. I agree fully with Cheryl that online and texting communication is not a good way to say things, as they can be so easily misunderstood. I do not like confrontation and I am not articulate at speaking my thoughts. I really need to be on my knees and pray for the Lord to speak through me in these instances. It can be costly if we are not praying and not cautious.
I really liked this:. “The reverse must be the case: as the differences among true Christians gets greater, we must consciously love and show a love which has some manifestation the world may see. So let us consider this: is my difference with my brother in Christ crucially important? If so, it is doubly important that I spend time upon my knees asking the Holy Spirit, asking Christ, to do His work through me and my group, that I and we might show love even in this larger difference that we have come to with a brother in Christ or with another group of true Christians.”
Friday: Regret
24. Read this section on regret and share what stands out and why.
Being raised a missionary kid, seemingly going to church all my life and married to a preachers kid…I have seen so much ugliness among what I believe to be “true” Christians. I can only imagine all the regret because I haven’t always been right either and have a lot of regret. It really saddens me that for those situations I was involved in there was no looking to the Holy Spirit and the belligerent voice fought the battle. I really think that all true Christians within the church upon becoming a member should be required to read The Mark of a Christian! I wish I had read it years ago.
Two things that really stuck out to me…
1. “We build ourselves up by tearing other men down. This can never show a real oneness among Christians.”
This is just the opposite of what Paul teaches in Philippians 2.
2. “Is my difference with my brother in Christ really crucially important? If so it is doubly important I spend time on my knees asking the Holy Spirit, asking Christ, to do His work in me…and that I might show love even in this larger difference…”
Lord, I pray that I would be “quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” see others through Your eyes, love as You love me and extend grace.
From Thursday
20. Have you ever forgiven in the head but not the heart? How do you know the difference?
—I want to comment on this question. In my mind it is a little deeper than an either or situation.
Many years ago we were in a spiritually abusive situation by the leadership at our church. It was a church that had started as a Bible study in our home and grew to an attendance of over 200 and meeting in a new building after being established for about 20 years. It was an incredibly painful time and in the end it was suggested we leave. I cried every day for about 3 months but God led us to a place of healing and that is our current church home where we have been for about 30 years now. Forgiving those men was a slow and hard process as we continued to live in our small community. I couldn’t escape seeing them. I understood clearly in my head that forgiveness was required of me by the Lord but when your heart is wounded that deeply it just wasn’t easy. I feel as I look back I endured a lot of tritely spoken advice on forgiveness even though I knew what God required of me. But emotions don’t quickly line up and you don’t just make nice easily. Time, age and experience has done its work in my heart because I was willing to forgive in my head but that is where it had to start. First in knowing what God required and then letting his Spirit bring healing. About ten years after that time one day my husband encountered one of those men at a restaurant in a community where he had moved with his wife. He made it a point to come and ask for forgiveness and made it plain he felt he along with those other men were wrong. That was a gift from the Lord to help in the healing. I think an important part of our testimony that remained in tact was that we refused to talk about what had happened. Small towns are notorious for knowing everyone’s business and many are curious and even bold enough to ask but my husband had the wisdom to restrain me in my pain and together we attempted to not speak against our offenders outside of neutral spiritual counselors. We made it our goal to leave it all in God’s hands. And over the years time has given me opportunity and allowed me to demonstrate grace to some of those individuals. Only God could do that.
Thank you, Bev for sharing that painful experience and how the Lord was faithful to you. I am so sorry that happened. I cannot tell you all the ways your account has affected me. I am humbled.
Oh, Bev! Thank you for sharing this with us. What a testimony of God’s protection over your husband and yourself. This has prompted me to pray more fervently for my husband and the men in our church. They have such a camaraderie and I pray for God’s protection for their relationships as they make decisions for our church.
I am very convicted by one of Schaeffer’s questions and to keep this in mind when differences arise: “Is my difference with my brother in Christ really crucially important?
Sharon’s verse is always good to remember: “Quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger”. It is my prayer as well.
Thanks for sharing, Bev. Sometimes the wound is so deep it takes time, God’s grace, and repeated surrender. Leaving it in God’s hands. Reminds me of Paige’s talk this week.
14. Schaeffer says we do not automatically go and say “I’m sorry” when we have done, written, or said something that wounds a brother or sister. Do you agree? Why is this vital?
I guess I don’t agree for everyone. Here’s why. When I know I have done something wrong, it eats me up inside. So, I have always gone to the person. I tell them I messed up and I am sorry. I know this is more about me maybe, than them. So in that way I would agree with him. I do think it’s vital though for both parties, because even if it’s just for selfish reasons (I feel better), the other party can accept and move on too.
15. I have learned it is important to apologize even if you feel the other party shares some or even most of the blame — to still apologize for your part. And then to let it go, even if the other party does not confess to their part. Do you agree or disagree and why?
Yes, see above.
16. In the transcript I have highlighted a statement I have never forgotten, though I read this book at least forty years ago. Share your thoughts on this, please.
Yes! I commented on this in the question for 12. It got me too!
17. What components do you think make an effective apology and why? Have you done this personally, or has someone done it to you? Please share — illustrations help us.
NO APOLOGY IN A TEXT OR EMAIL! Even over the phone is weak. It must be face to face. Believe it or not, I don’t remember anyone really apologizing to me! I’m sure it has happened, but not often. I think that, in itself, says a lot. People don’t want to accept their actions in situations, generally speaking. It takes a lot of effort to apologize. I am thinking (now that I think of it) a very good friend of mine apologized in the past year for something said. It makes me uncomfortable that someone apologizes to me! I don’t know why. Maybe because I have already forgiven them in my heart? I don’t like people to feel bad about themselves. I do admire and respect the person more though, when they do recognize they have done something wrong.
18. What else stands out to you from this page and why?
I think it’s important to guard your tongue. We scar people with our words at times. We can’t take those words back, and people are not forgiving. Words hurt and they matter.
You never remember anyone apologizing to you? Not even a parent, husband, or friend?
Friday: Regret
24. Read this section on regret and share what stands out and why.
A. “If there are tears when we must speak, then something beautiful can be observed.”
Balancing love and holiness without being harsh or compromising is a difficult task for me. I don’t like confrontation, so the above words help me. I need the courage to speak the truth in love and to remember the stakes that come without being so: the return of the erring one and my testimony of Jesus to which I profess.
B. “…as the differences among true Christians get greater, we must consciously love and show a love which has some manifestation the world may see. So let us consider this: is my difference with my brother in Christ crucially important? If so, it is doubly important that I spend time upon my knees asking the Holy Spirit, asking Christ, to do His work through me and my group, that I and we might show love even in this larger difference that we have come to with a brother in Christ or with another group of true Christians.”
Perhaps it is the discipline of taking things to the Lord in earnest prayer when the difference with my brother or sister in Christ is crucially important. I don’t pray enough about it. And when they are not crucially important, I need to let it go and trust that God is working in my life and the other person. We are all in a different season of our walk with God.
Saturday:
25. What is your takeaway and why?
What is the final apologetic? That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. This is the final apologetic. [our ultimate defense]
It is my “observable love” for my brothers and sisters that is my ultimate defense or apologetic.
Lord, forgive me for the unforgiveness in my heart for my brother or my sister in Christ that I have not fully repented of and surrendered to you. Thank you for this timely reminder from a brother long gone but still speaks today. Grant me a new way of living that the world would believe that you have sent Jesus. Just as you have promised in Isaiah 43:19b, may you help me in this. “I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
I found this song by Matthew West “Forgiveness” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYTnTorkkxg&t=47s
It’s the hardest thing to give away And the last thing on your mind today It always goes to those who don’t deserveIt’s the opposite of how you feel When the pain they caused is just too realTakes everything you have just to say the word… ForgivenessIt flies in the face of all your pride It moves away the mad insideIt’s always angers own worst enemyEven when the jury and the judge Say you gotta right to hold a grudgeIt’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’Show me how to love the unlovable Show me how to reach the unreachableHelp me now to do the impossible Forgiveness, ForgivenessIt’ll clear the bitterness away It can even set a prisoner free There is no end to what its power can doSo, let it go and be amazed By what you see through eyes of grace The prisoner that it really frees is youShow me how to love the unlovable I want to finally set it freeSo show me how to see what Your mercy sees Help me now to give what You gave to meForgiveness, Forgiveness
My takeaway this week is that no matter how much I study, whether bible good books or gifted speakers, I cannot assume that I am always correct. I need to look beyond the surface and strive for understanding in my relationships with other believers, listening closely or reading the comments herewith an open heart, leaning on the indwelling Spirit. I would have said that I already do that, but that’s pride. This study group helps keep me humble. Love you, sisters.
This is so good from Cheryl: My takeaway this week is that no matter how much I study, whether bible good books or gifted speakers, I cannot assume that I am always correct. I