“WHO SINNED?
THIS MAN OR HIS PARENTS,
THAT HE WAS BORN BLIND?”
(John 9:2)
RELIGION, IN CONTRAST TO THE GOSPEL, ASSUMES SUFFERING IS DUE TO SIN
BUT JESUS IS CLEAR THAT IS ERRONEOUS THINKING:
“It is not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”
(John 9:3)
On a personal note, I was ready to start us on Lent this week, but Elizabeth alerted me I was a week early! I began to panic, having nothing prepared for you and very little time. Then I realized, once again, God was in control. Here we are, arriving at John 9, a passage dealing with suffering, and our own dear Nila had already sent me her story, a poignant story of their firstborn, Abby, born with a heart defect. I had told Nila, “I’m not sure when I’ll use it, but I will.” Oh — how glad I am I have it! It so beautifully portrays how we should respond to the mystery of suffering. And it is a mystery. Why would God give (or allow) this young couple, these first-time parents who loved Him, such suffering? Why did He do give (or allow) such suffering to the parents of the man born blind?
THAT THE WORKS OF GOD MAY BE DISPLAYED
Sometimes the works of God are displayed when He stops the storm, and sometimes they are displayed when we allow Him to hold us through the storm. It is remarkable, as in the case of Job, when we keep trusting and loving when He does not give us what we want.
NILA’S STORY
Abigail (Abby) was born with two congenItal heart defects. Our old-fashioned doctor kept moms in the hospital for three or four days back then, so a nurse noticed that she was a blue-baby on the morning of her fourth day of life. We were rushed from our small Wyoming hospital via ambulance to a larger hospital in Montana. Our daughter was in congestive heart failure. A visiting doctor from a pediatric heart unit in Colorado, was in the process of packing up his car to return to Colorado when our baby arrived in Billings, Montana ~ He was immediately asked to accompany us. Within hours we found ourselves on an air ambulance to Denver. This young doctor cut through all the “red tape” when we reached Colorado General Hospital. I felt carried along, though I was going somewhere I didn’t want to go. Abby was in surgery that same night. She survived that surgery and after one month in the hospital, she was released on Christmas Eve. We were utterly grateful.
NILA AND NEWBORN ABBY
I learned to administer several medications around the clock through those early months, for Abby still had a hole in her heart, and would be on medication for all of her short life. There were many, many doctor appointments with pediatric heart specialists, to monitor her condition. One pediatric neurologist told us that our baby was a miracle….. that she should have had brain damage due to the seizures she had suffered. But Abby was a precocious little girl and, though tiny, she began to have a huge influence on all who knew her. Many were praying that God would close the hole in her tiny heart so that no further surgery would be necessary.
My husband and I sensed such a tender presence of God in our baby’s short life. Before her birth, my husband had prayed that God would, “fill her with His Spirit from birth,” just as John the Baptist had been. (I don’t know if its alright to ask for that, but I am grateful that he did.) One elderly nurse told me that when she looked into Abby’s eyes she, “felt like Abby knew more about life than she did.“
Nila with Abby when Abby was one year old.
At age 14 months, the cardiologist said that it was time for open heart surgery. We drove back to Denver. On that cold January night before surgery, I collapsed on a cot right beside her hospital crib…… At that very moment, in my broken-hearted fear, I sensed/pictured two things simultaneously:The Lord Himself just holding me, and Him holding my baby girl. This image was literally etched in my heart that night…… Deep comfort calling to deep fear.
Painting by Francis Hook
Early the next morning we walked our baby to the surgery doors and reluctantly handed her over to the surgeons. Our Abby did not do well during the long surgery and fought for life for four days following surgery. At my husband’s leading, we released her to our Lord and a few hours later she went to live with Him.
The cavern that the joy of her life had carved, was filled with sorrow. That sense of fullness gave way to a sense of emptiness. I was disappointed with God. My husband lived with a really sad wife for many, many months. It was a messy, unpredictable, painful journey emotionally. Over the following months, the Lord tenderly worked in my heart in such a way that I was finally able to release my clenched fist full of questions and hold an open hand. I was finally empty enough of myself to receive a peace I had never before experienced.
Isaiah 45:3 says, “And I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hidden wealth of secret places.” And so He did. He met me in that dark place – the treasure of his sustaining presence. And the treasure of the hope of heaven often comforted my heart and still does today. “Let not your heart be troubled. Believe in God. Believe also in Me. In my Father’s house are many dwelling places, if it were not so I would have told you. For I go and prepare a place for you.” John 14:1,2
The Mother’s Day following Abby’s death my artist husband surprised me with a beautiful watercolor portrait of her. In that portrait you can see an image of Christ reflected in her eyes. That portrait has hung in our home for the past 33 years, a constant reminder that heaven is a reality. We will meet again in that better country.
THERE IS MORE TO NILA’S STORY, BUT I WANT YOU TO CONSIDER THESE CONTRASTING APPROACHES TO SUFFERING:
RELIGION GOSPEL
When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry When circumstances in my life go wrong,
at God or myself since I believe anyone who is good I struggle, but I know all my punishment
deserves a comfortable life. fell on Jesus and while God may allow this
for my training, He will exercise His
Fatherly love within my trial.
Sunday: Icebreaker
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial?
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain.
Monday-Thursday Bible Study
Prepare your heart with this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsaSmU5AQds
Tim Keller explains that because religion assumes we earn God’s favor, that when we suffer we are either angry at God (because we’ve been good and He hasn’t kept His part of the bargain) or at ourselves (because we haven’t been good enough so we think He is punishing us.) That is what Job’s friends assumed and brought greater pain to Job.
I also believe that while it is important that we pray in faith for healing, that we cannot demand it, for God may have a purpose we cannot see. Not all believers agree with this, but I believe the evidence is strong in Scripture and in life that there are times when God chooses, for His own mysterious purposes, to heal in heaven and not on earth, as He did with Job’s children. Just as Job never knew God’s reasons, sometimes we do not either. But trusting Him when He doesn’t give us what we want shows we love Him for Him, and not just for His gifts. Satan didn’t believe anyone loved God for God — but only for His stuff. Let us prove, even when God does not remove our suffering, that we love Him for Him! Joni Eareckson Tada, one of the godliest women I know, said, “God’s purpose for us is not so much that we be healthy, wealthy, or even happy — though it pleases Him to give us gifts. His main purpose is to make us holy.” I believe that the trust I see in Nila and her husband are evidence of the work of God, just as much as healing is evidence of the work of God.
After Abby’s death, God gave Nila and her husband three sons and two daughters. Here is a picture of Erin, one of their daughters, with her baby girl.
Nila’s daughter and grand-daughter
Erin, at 17, wrote a song to the sister she never got to know. It is called “Home” At one point in the song she refers to the portrait Nila’s husband painted. Here is the song, which you can hopefully hear on your device, and you can follow along with the lyrics below.
I’ve heard about your laugh, about your cry
And how you got your name
I’ve seen those big brown
Upon the wall
Your face within a frame
Here you are in my memory
A bridge to cross the time
Moments we have shared together
Only in my mind
Who are you?
A face in my memory
A sister to my soul
Why did you leave this family?
I just want to know?
Why did you go home?
I’ve never heard your laugh or heard your cry
Or heard you say my name
I’ve never seen your eyes
Look into mine
Or seen you walk away
Here you are in my memory
A bridge to cross the time
Moments we have shared together
Only in my mind.
Who are you?
A face in my memory
A sister to my soul
Why did you leave this family?
I just want to know?
Why did you go home?
And I know, He’s holding your hand
Your’e with him all the time
But sometimes wish I was with you
And that you could hold mine
Just one time.
I’ve thought about your laugh, and your sweet cry
While whispering your name
I’ve seen that Jesus joy behind your eyes
Captured in a frame.
And here He is right beside me
A touch to heal my wound.
Moments He has planned so perfectly
He knows I’m missing you.
You are His,
A face in my memory
A sister to my soul
You were a gift for a little while
Now I think I know,
Why you have gone home.
Home.
Engraved on Abby’s simple headstone are these words:
She was so small. But her influence is so great.
And so it is.
4. What fruit do you see in following generations because of Nila and her husband’s accepting the mystery of suffering?
5. Read John 9:1-3.
A. What does the question of the disciples reveal about their theology of suffering? Have you ever shared this theology? If so, explain.
B. How does Jesus answer them?
6. At the close of Job, God asks Job many questions. What do you think was God’s point?
7. Read Job 42:7-17
A. What does God ask Job’s religious friends to do?
B. Challenge Question: God doubled all that Job lost except for his children. Why, do you think He didn’t double Job’s children?
C. What good purpose did Job’s suffering serve? Has this ministered to you? If so, how?
8. Read Hebrews 11:36-40. What do you learn?
9. What good purpose does the suffering of martyrs serve?
10. How might heaven be able to heal a deep sorrow you have experienced on earth? Be specific!
Friday: Free Keller Sermon “Questions of Suffering”
http://www.gospelinlife.com/catalog/product/view/id/5525/s/questions-of-suffering/category/46/
11. What comments do you have on the above sermon?
Saturday
12. What is your take-a-way and why?
Lent begins next week — please pray that those He wants to join the journey will join and stay with us!
218 comments
1. What stood out to you from the above and why? Oh, Nila, Nila… I am just sitting here crying over the heart-rending beautiful story of your gorgeous Abby. I am a pediatric intensive care nurse who has cared for many a small babe with heart defects (at the very hospital you probably took her to in Montana [St.V’s?]!) so I can vividly picture the hospital, hospital room, your cot as you slept beside your precious daughter… But I think the thing that strikes me the most was your husband. How he was WITH you… God did not leave you humanly alone in your suffering but indeed allowed you to share the beauty of Abby’s life intimately with him and also to share the struggle and suffering with him so that he could lead you in the difficult things and bless you. While we are never alone because Christ is with us always… how sweet that your husband walked with you and Abby.
The picture of Abby with Christ’s open arms in her sight dissolves me into tears, as does the picture of Christ holding the child). Blessings, dear Nila, thank you for sharing Abby’s story. Even now, years later, she is blessing people with her life.
Yes, Jill, it was St. V’s. I love knowing that you were/are an intensive care nurse and from knowing you here on the blog, you were an excellent one. We had such an amazing team of caring nurses and doctors for our little girl. Grateful.
1. The first thing that stood out to me was God’s amazing sense of timing in the telling of Abigail’s story – Dee, not your plan or timing, but rather His! A wonderful confirmation that this is indeed the very week we should all be pondering Abigail’s story.
The second thing that I experienced in my heart was a keen awareness that Nila is not the only one of our blog sisterhood who has lost a child. I’m especially praying for the week ahead for those sisters in particular as we enter into this story.
Nila, you have so beautifully expressed not only the overview of Abigail’s precious life, but also the fingerprints of God all over her story. Abigail’s life makes me remember how fearfully and wonderfully made we are (Psalm 139). And “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” Psalm 116:15. I love how our tender Lord has given you so many “gifts” along the way after losing Abigail – the painting that Tom presented you with is a standout. Erin’s song another standout. His presence all along the way, which there are no words for. So much of Abigail’s story will only be known in heaven – the purposes of her life are surely among those deep things that only her Creator can understand. Job had no idea why he suffered loss upon loss and sorrow upon sorrow…..but he bowed in worship in the end. And that is exactly what I see in you, precious sister……all these years later…..more sorrows added to the most horrible sorrow…..and still you worship . You are a rich blessing to us all. I love you and the way Jesus overflows from your life.
Jackie, you always know what to say and how to say it. Thank you. This is good:
“The second thing I experienced in my heart was a keen awareness that Nila is not the only one of our blog sisterhood who has lost a child.”
i will will pray for all of us who have lost a child in one way or another.
Yes, Jackie ~ Others here who have experienced this kind of loss. Thank you for your beautiful, keen awareness, Jackie.
1. What stood out? Oh, the whole story!!! The realness and rawness of Nila’s initial response to the death of little Abby and how the Lord wooed her to acceptance and being able to receive His love through it all…AND…the wonderful picture her husband painted! What a precious treasure, Nila.
Will have to get to questions 2 and 3 later…running late!
oh NILA! I haven’t even read the study past your story yet–It took me 2 tries to get through past my tears and I was so moved I had to respond before reading the lesson. I see Him in you Nila, so much–I truly see a woman transformed by the gospel from ashes to beauty, because you turned to Him, you have continued to let Him carry you through your pain. And He did not waste your suffering–He is still using it. I see it in all your posts, your compassion, encouragement to others, the way you always turn the focus back to Him.
THANK YOU for sharing your story. SO POWERFUL “At that very moment, in my broken-hearted fear, I sensed/pictured two things simultaneously:The Lord Himself just holding me, and Him holding my baby girl.”
I’m not sure why, but just now I was led to look up what “Abigail” means and I’m sure you knew this, but it is so fitting for her story, and the painting from your husband: “From the Hebrew name אֲבִיגָיִל (‘Avigayil) meaning “my father is joy”.
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial? I was blown away by the details God took care of. Abby “just happened” to be in the hospital on the fourth day…the pediatric heart doctor “just happened to be there” really was awesome! Nila’s comment, “I felt carried along, though I was going somewhere I didn’t want to go.” God leading Nila’s husband in some very, very difficult decisions. The peace God gave Nila before the surgery. He began ministering to her heart, assuring her of His love and care even before the most(?) difficult part began.
Decided to go to the late service. =)
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial?
Oh, in all the ways that Jill mentioned above! It is so like Him to immerse our suffering in evidences of His love, we just need eyes that see it. I’m so grateful He was there for you, Nila! He put a testimony on your lips to His goodness, “that the works of God might be displayed.”
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain.
For much of my life, it aligned more with religion. If I obeyed God’s laws, read His Word, prayed and sought His will for my life, and followed it as closely as I knew how, my expectation was that I should be happy and fulfilled in life! With that mindset I was nearly always depressed and disappointed, and even angry at God. Thankfully the Lord used many people and other resources to speak truth into my life and now my response to suffering is more in line with the gospel. God owes me nothing and yet He gives me Himself…and I am never disappointed. (as long as I am living in that gospel mindset.)
Reading through these initial responses and adding my voice of thankfulness to God’s timing, the “play-do” hearts of Nila, her husband, and Erin — and for the responsive tender women on this blog.
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial?
One more answer before I’m off to Church—this is a hard one to break away from! What stood out to me about her husband was that he was strong enough to make the very difficult decision to release Abby. To me, that is the ultimate in godly leadership-he did not leave the burden of that decision on Nila—but he took it, as leader of the family, and she could rest in that. “At my husband’s leading, we released her to our Lord and a few hours later she went to live with Him. “
Wanted to add the Lyrics to the “Come, ye disconsolate” youtube (some were hard for me to hear and they are SO good!)
Come, ye disconsolate, where’er ye languish,
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel.
Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish;
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.
Joy of the desolate, light of the straying,
Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure!
Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying,
“Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot cure.”
Here see the Bread of Life, see waters flowing
Forth from the throne of God, pure from above.
Come to the feast of love; come, ever knowing
Earth has no sorrow but heaven can remove.
I love this song. I actually find myself singing it sorta often, with the old melody that was used when I was growing up. Especially the last line of the stanzas.
Elizabeth ~ Thank you for posting these beautiful lyrics here for us.
This is a test”..having trouble posting today.
1. What stood out? A sad story for sure… I can’t imagine what your family was going through at all. I love the painting of Abby! How beautiful she was! I love how her husband put a painting of Christ in each eye; her eyes are so big!
The story kept reminding me of my own daughter, and how although Sarah is still alive, my struggle with her continues on a daily basis (I just got a phone call from her landlord saying she’s been playing loud music since 6:30 this morning). I used to get mad at God. I found these words particularly touching,
“The cavern that the joy of her life had carved, was filled with sorrow. That sense of fullness gave way to a sense of emptiness. I was disappointed with God. My husband lived with a really sad wife for many, many months. It was a messy, unpredictable, painful journey emotionally.”
I can say I do understand these feelings. My months have turned to years now. I have given up on being mad at God and try to understand that He is in control. However, I don’t know if it’s that I know more about Him, or I’m just exhausted with trying to control the situation (which I can’t). My daughter was born without sense; she has an 80 IQ. How could God give me her???? She looks normal, but she isn’t. She can function at some things but not everything. Don’t tell her that though, she think she’s just fine. Meanwhile her friends are pretty low life earthlings. These are the only people who will accept her as she is. It would be different if she was on a good path and had good in her now. She just seems to gravitate to the bad things of this world. It breaks my heart, but there must be a plan? Right? There must be some meaning to Sarah’s life? How could he do this to me? To us? Why? Why do some of us lose children? Why do some have disease? Why are some wealthy and others very poor? I don’t get it, so I just stop asking and start to accept that it is what it is.
My “go to” Bible verses are in Job. I remind myself that Job never knew why. God never told him. He was to just accept what happened and realize that God was in control. I have accepted this too in my life. It doesn’t mean I’m happy about it though. I’m currently trying to get through “Hinds Feet in High Places” and it is helping me as well. I try not to think of the future; that helps. I live day by day. I try to remember to pray that Sarah might know God again one day. She wants to find a place in Harlem with “a friend,” so she isn’t coming home to save money and rethink her life. Is God in Harlem?
You and Sarah remain in my prayers, Laura. I think of you quite often, actually. I resonate with your struggle and your questions. I can’t help but answer ‘yes’ to your last question, though. God is in Harlem. That is where Dietrich Bonhoeffer found Him the nearest when he looked at the church in America. 🙂 I know that answer is a little ‘tongue in cheek’, but on a deeper level, it is always true. God IS there. We pray that she will meet Him there.
Oh wow Wanda! I didn’t know that was where Bonhoeffer was in America!
Wanda and Laura,
I love this, Wanda: God is in Harlem. That is where Dietrich Bonhoeffer found Him the nearest when he looked at the church in America.
I loved that part of Bonhoeffer’s biography and your reminder that our God is wherever our children may be.
Laura – yes, there are many ways to feel we’ve “lost” a child, as you so well stated in your post. Wanda took the words right out of my mouth too – yes, God IS in Harlem! Like Wanda, I pray for your Sarah often too. As I know many here do. And yet, the hard in life stays hard. Is trusting the Lord with our children the hardest thing we’re called to do in this life? Perhaps. The book of Proverbs overflows with verses of how it burdens our hearts when our children are “foolish”. And this can look as different as each of our children are! And I have to remind myself often in my frustrations…..I WAS this foolish child for my parents for many, many years! He is walking you through this road – the one you never would have chosen – and He will see you through to the end. But my heart sank as I read your words about Sarah…..and I know that you are hurting now. 🙁
Thanks for the comforting words Jackie. It helps to know people pray for my daughter, since my mom isn’t around to do that (religiously) everyday. It seems God is bound and determined it will be His way! Not mine. She does need to learn to live without us, I get that. I just wish she would be slightly more receptive to our ideas. She is not dead yet; it has been over a year. I should be “thankful” I suppose. She is hungry today. I had a huge breakthrough last night…..she kept calling and texting asking for money for food. I held out. I didn’t give in. It was hard. She has to learn budgeting and saving. And, yes, I too was a belligerent young adult at times 🙁 paybacks?
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial?
He gave them the medical personnel necessary at the right time. He spoke to them through Abby, letting them know she was going to be fine, with Him. He gave them peace, eventually.
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain.
Unfortunately, but truthfully, my response is probably both….in between the “religion” choice and the “gospel” choice. I’m so horribly earth bound, I know 🙁 I feel the emotion rise up when I don’t “have my way” in suffering situations, but I know in my heart that it is not finished. He loves me dearly and will see the situation through to the end.
Laura, I always appreciate your honesty…”I’m so horribly earth bound, I know”. I can relate:)) I’ve read your post about Sarah above, and I’m so sorry. I know you worry so much about her safety and her choice of friends. I will keep her in my prayers, but your persevering faith is also quite amazing, Laura.
I am at church right now and preparing to lead my Sunday School class. I just want to chime in here and post longer later. Nila, thank you for sharing. And Dee, the timing is SO right. God is good!!!
1. What stood out to you from the above and why? Oh, all of Nila’s story. Every piece she has shared with us on the blog before has touched me. To hear it all (and peeking ahead, I know there is more) so clearly shows us the deep, deep love of God. And the beauty of a soul who knows His rest. Nila, what a stunningly beautiful baby Abby was and the portrait by your husband shows profoundly, his love and the trust he placed in Jesus to carry you all. Oh what a gift and an act of worship to paint Jesus in her eyes. (as mine mist over) Every section that is highlighted in blue carries a depth that penetrates to my heart. I don’t know if the highlighting was Dee’s or Nila’s, but there is great wisdom within. How this clarifies the ‘deep calling to deep.’ Psalm 45:3 stands out as well, because that was a verse shared with me, by a friend I had just met, when I was going through some very dark days with my own little girl, who has a serious chronic illness, at a time when I was new in our community and grieving the loss of my friends and support from our previous home. The ‘treasures in darkness, riches stored in secret places’ has been a thought I come back to often. I’ve sometimes wondered what the whole context means, but I’m content to know that it rings true for those who suffer and who seek Him. I’ve been reading Tim Keller’s book on suffering and when I opened the blog today, I was immediately struck by the timing of this lesson. When Dee had said Lent lessons begin this week, I also had double-checked my calendar, but thought that she must be intentionally adding an extra lesson. This was God’s intent. This lesson has already spoken so clearly to so many.
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial? The visiting doctor who escorted them and cleared the way, the clear vision of being held in His arms and that He simultaneously held Abby, the clarity and reality of heaven, the inspiration, talent, and love that flowed into and still flows out of the painting that expresses both the love of Abby’s earthly daddy and her heavenly Father; her Abba, such a beautiful entwining of the richness of His love and the eternal life He gives. (and sneaking ahead, I know there is more, but will wait).
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain. At times, I have been on the religious side, usually very briefly. But, more so, I have been shaped by the trust that I saw in my parents and others who influenced my faith. Sometimes, it was a ‘stoic’ trust that simply said, ‘this is just how it is’ and didn’t seem to ever question why terrible things happen to God’s people. But other times, there was evident, such a deep, solid trust that showed me that God not just knows what He is doing, He mourns with us and He loves us through every step.
(Sorry, the ‘bold’ was on opposite where I wanted it to be. Don’t know how to fix that after the fact.)
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
Nila’s story is heartbreaking but also comforting. It was so wonderful that God met her in her great grief. I LOVE the portrait that her artist husband did of their daughter with Christ reflected in her eyes. So beautiful.
1. What stood out to you from the above and why? Isaiah 45:3 says, “And I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hidden wealth of secret places.”
You have to be in the darkness to get the treasures. A person doesn’t know how good the treasure of Christ’s love is until they have suffered. But do not despair for there IS a treasure.
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial? He showed himself during the “coincidences” that happened during the first few weeks of Abby’s life. He gave her clear images of himself holding Nila and holding Abby.
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain
As I’ve matured in my faith my response is definitely more on the gospel side.
Being so recently “hit” with depression and anxiety however, I have been finding that while I can understand these things on an intellectual level. It is still hard to know whether I’m suffering because I haven’t sought “…first the kingdom of God and His righteousness…” because after all He promises to give me wisdom to guard my heart and mind. Or if I was to seek him more is it just to get this peace of mind. Seeking the gift instead of the giver.
Dawn I will lift you in prayer for this depression. I pray you sense Him holding You closer than ever before. I had a short bout of that last week and it was so heavy and strong. and have had other short periods over the years of anxiety and that heaviness. I cannot imagine if it hung on for long periods. Lord give Dawn the wisdom she is seeking in this time and place she is at. Draw her closer and I pray Lord she can see You Holding her and feel your presence strong. Show her You are there in this suffering and show her the beauty and treasures she can get in this period of darkness she is walking thru that she may never have gotten without it. Give her a testimony to share with others to encourage those that may be there in the future. Use this all to Your Glory Amen.
Dawn, I will be praying for you this week too. I’m glad you have been with us more recently. Your thoughts are deep as you process your own suffering and longing for peace of mind. And He longs for you to rest in Him. “Lord, we ask that you hold our sister, Dawn, close to your loving heart and let her feel the deep riches of your grace and mercy calling to her deep place of hurt and sadness. Give her the peace that transcends understanding and the certainty that You walk with her moment by moment.”
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
Nila’s bittersweet story of her daughter Abby. In particular, I was impressed with the special timing (God’s timing) that occurred: the fact that mothers and their babies were kept in the hospital longer at that time, so the nurse had time to observe that Abby was a blue-baby; the availability of the pediatric cardiologist; Abby being discharged from the hospital on Christmas Eve when we celebrate the birth of the Babe in Bethlehem.
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial?
Nila herself stated:
My husband and I sensed such a tender presence of God in our baby’s short life.
Then she told how she saw two simultaneous pictures (1) of the Lord holding her, and (2) The Lord holding her baby. That had to bring such comfort! Also “Over the following months, the Lord tenderly worked in my heart in such a way that I was finally able to release my clenched fist full of questions and hold an open hand. I was finally empty enough of myself to receive a peace I had never before experienced.”
Truly God was going through this crisis from start to finish with Nila and her husband!
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain.
Compared to others on this blog, I have not actually suffered nearly as much. However, when things do not go my way, I have to admit it always flashes through my mind “What did I do to deserve this?” So I guess I have to answer that my response is more toward religion than the gospel. At least now, I can intellectually recognize that when it is happening, and I can admit and confess what it is. I know that I am still de-bunking some things that I have been carefully taught in my childhood — in fact, at church!
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
a. The hopeful expression in the blind man as Jesus reaches out to him.
Everything about Nila’s story. Although I have never experienced giving birth to a baby and losing him/her later, I had 2 miscarriages both at 6 weeks. Through those 2 hard experiences, I have sensed the sweet presence of God and the special ministry of the body of Christ. I echo some of Nila’s words highlighted in blue: I felt carried along, though I was going somewhere I didn’t want to go…Deep comfort calling to deep fear.
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial?
God’s providence over the doctor being there, being released on Christmas eve, doctors saying Abby is a miracle and her being ablessing to many who has met her; Nila’s husband’s strength enabling them to release her to the Lord; the tender working of God in Nila’s heart and the before eternity plan that Nila’s husband is an artist and could draw a picture which has been a blessing for over 33 years now.
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain.
I vacillate between the 2 for the longest time since I received Christ. One of the young fathers in our Sunday School Class this morning said when he first became a Christian and read Matthew 11:28 he took it to mean that after receiving Christ, life would be a walk in the park since the Word said God’s burden is light and his yoke is easy. Then he said ,I was disappointed. We all laughed at that. But I have been like him. Operating many times in the lie that if I am good enough, sacrifice enough and obey God that I will be exempt from suffering-my yoke will always be light. “Give me just enough suffering, Lord that I do not have to sweat it and that you will always give relief and all glory will be yours.” How pitiful and self-serving! My sister, Grace has been teaching me how to respond to suffering. And so do many of you here.
Nila oh how beautiful is this story. Painful as I know it was for you. The pictures of you holding your beautiful little daughter are what struck me. How difficult of a walk that must have been. I cannot read this story and not think of my baby sister we lost at age 9 months on Christmas Day from a heart defect. We never had a picture of her which is so strange! I think my parents were so busy caring for her and for 3 other young ones not sure, I cannot imagine. I was only 3 so I do not remember but seeing your little girl made me cry.
Two lines stand out to me ” Finally able to release my clenched fists full of questions and hold an open hand” and “Empty of myself enough to receive a peace I never beforehand had experienced”
But this was Gold……
At that very moment, in my broken-hearted fear, I sensed/pictured two things simultaneously:The Lord Himself just holding me, and Him holding my baby girl. This image was literally etched in my heart that night…… Deep comfort calling to deep fear.
Oh how we need to see the Lord holding us in our suffering and how much more that he is holding those we may be suffering for.
I posted earlier it was there and then it was gone???? Anyway Nila this story about your daughter and this time if loss and suffering is so touching my heart. Your daughter was beautiful!!!!! I loved the picture of you holding her. I had shared before I lost a sister as an infant on Christmas Day at 9 months old who had a heart defect and we never had a picture of her!!!!!! I so cried when I saw yours. I also thought of how she was released on Christmas Eve. How the Lord walked with you held you and carried you thru this time of suffering. Your words so touch me. “On that cold January night before surgery, I collapsed on a cot right beside her hospital crib…… At that very moment, in my broken-hearted fear, I sensed/pictured two things simultaneously:The Lord Himself just holding me, and Him holding my baby girl. This image was literally etched in my heart that night…… Deep comfort calling to deep fear.” and then…..
“Over the following months, the Lord tenderly worked in my heart in such a way that I was finally able to release my clenched fist full of questions and hold an open hand. I was finally empty enough of myself to receive a peace I had never before experienced. “
The thought of Jesus holding you and holding your precious daughter is so beautiful and was such an important piece here.
Thank you for sharing your story.
There is such a beauty in suffering that I KNOW I would never see otherwise. One of my favorite devotionals “Streams In the Dessert” has given me such a different look at suffering as I have walked thru my own. I KNOW it has given me a deeper relationship with the Lord. A scripture that has always impacted me is” Even Though Jesus was God’s Son, He learned obedience from the things that He suffered. Hebrews 5:8″
That scripture really is amazing to think on, Liz. Thanks.
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
Nila’s story and how she and her husband let God hold them in their pain. This brought me to tears! This is a beautiful story. These things stood out: That suffering whether God pulls us from the storm or holds us through it, He allows it so that His works may be displayed. And this in Nila’s story: “Deep comfort calling to deep fear.” and how they “sensed the tender presence of God in their baby’s short life.” Also, the raw and honest pain of grief, for Nila struggled for months after sweet Abby went home. Wow. I have shared this post with a few dear sisters.
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
Abby’s story…I read this yesterday, but thought, “what can I say?” “what words do I have?” …dear Nila, you endured such pain, such heartbreak. I look at the pictures of you holding baby Abby…oh such beauty, such love, such precious joy. Nila, you are truly an inspiration and I am so thankful to you for sharing your story, your witness. You grasped the joy and love of Abby’s short life and you rested in trusting God’s plan that Abby had accomplished her purpose in her short time on earth and is in heaven with her heavenly Father. Nila, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this piece of your heart.
2. How did you see God exercise His Fatherly love to Nila and her husband within their trial?
Many things “fell into place”…the nurse’s concern of Abby’s coloring that uncovered her heart ailment. The visiting doctor from a pediatric heart unit being present to help with Abby and “cut through all the red tape” when arriving at the larger hospital where the initial surgery would take place. That initial surgery being successful and allowing Nila, her husband, and Abby to be a family for 14 months. “Deep comfort calling to deep fear.” “the Lord tenderly worked in my heart in such a way that I was finally able to release my clenched fist full of questions and hold an open hand. I was finally empty enough of myself to receive a peace I had never before experienced.” “He met me in that dark place – the treasure of his sustaining presence. And the treasure of the hope of heaven often comforted my heart …” What a lovely gift Nila’s husband gave with the painting of Abby. I would imagine that the Lord provided some comfort to Nila’s husband in his painting it, and it certainly has provided comfort to Nila and the rest of the family throughout the years…truly a “gift” from the Lord.
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain.
Hum…good question. I would like to think that my suffering aligns more with the gospel than religion, but truthfully I have not been “in the fire,” so to speak, really put to the test.
I recognize the evil of this world and acknowledge that this evil was not part of God’s original plan, but came to be by our human penchant for sin, for control, for power. I understand that the Lord desiring His people to come to Him freely and therefore providing free will; unfortunately the free will choose sin… Yet I understand that the Lord is fully in control and has the capacity to overcome all evil. Sometimes I question events that have occurred and are occurring that are SO evil, so much so my mind and heart cannot fathom the hearts of those involved. I know that God sees this and hurts deeply too. One question is intervention, but then I wonder, if God’s people were doing His will obediently, perhaps that would provide for Him intervening (I find this thought haunting). Ultimately, I rest in the fact that I cannot fully understand the Lord; He is far, Far, FAR beyond my comprehension this side of heaven. I must trust that He has all well in hand.
Nanci, You posed a good question about obedience. That can make one ponder. I concur with your conclusion though…WAY beyond our comprehension. 😉
Brings to mind the quote, “all it takes for evil to prevail is for good men to remain silent.”
I wonder if we/I acted on the nudges sensed from the Lord, rather than barraging ourselves/myself with questions and doubts of whether the action is possible, if the nudge is really from the Lord, etc., what good might be brought into this world. It makes me wonder how much less our world is because of these omissions, this lack of obedience. Truly thoughts for me to ponder…
3. Does your response to suffering align more with religion or the gospel? Explain. I think my gut response is still religion, but as He has been teaching and drawing me close this last 1.5 years my reaction has swung much more to gospel, especially in certain circumstances. The Psalms study really helped with this, realizing that God IS. And when God IS things here on earth get smaller and trust in the Almighty gets bigger. The way “religion” response is defined sort of sounds like a spoiled brat, which it can be. But I know of people (one in particular) that was oppressively taught this and its not an anger but a despondency, believing that God is “dealing with her” in her extreme suffering. Some really just believe they are awful people that do not deserve good things and so they get half the gospel (we are sinners), but not all (God loves us and took our punishment!), and this is heart breaking. Perhaps the difference is realizing that God does indeed love us so much that we see life through that lens (as with our children) rather than through the ‘expectation lens.’
Also, I wonder if we approach suffering with religion, we never really heal, because we can’t “fix it” however, if we approach suffering with gospel then healing is part of the process God allowed/intended by HIS hand. Perhaps this is true in retrospect, as well. Things I have walked through and just sort of “held my breath” till it passed, waiting for the good things to come back, still haunted me (never healing, but more just really good at ignoring) but when I started to grasp the gospel these things came back and I essentially had to “re-grieve” and re-align and ask God before the true healing started to come. Even now there is pain, but there is a different response, and there is growth in my heart… Still ‘re-walking’ through some of those pains… God is the faithful teacher and the ever-patient guide.
Good point about how religion can never heal but the gospel — oh!
Jill, these two comments about responding to suffering are nuggets of gold. I tried replying twice today, but my comments have disappeared. If they show up, you will get my more detailed reply, but if they don’t appear, just know that both were packed with truth that blessed me. !
I know we know this song..but lately The Song of Solomon has been a balm and reminds me of how He came to Nila: http://youtu.be/S2urjlelpuM
Rebecca I first heard this song several months ago when Dee posted it. I do not think there has been a song that has ministered to me more than this one, although what Jackie sent me last week was very powerful as well especially the timing and the content. Thanks for reposting I pray it does the same for others. There are so many people who are suffering and my prayer would be they could embrace it thru a gospel view instead of a religious view, and so many more who just need to meet Jesus who have not yet.
Liz — we feel the same. I think it was Joyce who said it must be our song on this blog! 🙂
Just wanted to add yes Nila’s story does give such an example of how the Lord ministers and comes to us in our suffering.
Well, the song Erin wrote is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I boo-hooked through the whole thing! Thanks Dee, are you really just trying to make me cry all week?! Lovely Nila; please tell Erin she has a beautiful voice and I appreciate her sharing with us.
As Dee stated, our daughter Erin wrote and recorded that song when she was 17. She is now a beautiful young woman of 31, an accomplished musician, who has written and recorded many songs over these years. I’m so grateful for her permission for me to share this humble home-recording with you all here. (Several years ago, she and our younger daughter Annie, also a gifted musician, recorded a CD for me. So, when I’m missing them, I put that on.)
That is so cool that you have a cd of your daughters singing. Last year when I lost my mom I wished I had a voice message or something from her to hear her voice. I don’t, and I keep forgetting to ask my siblings about it. I would love to hear her some days. I do have a recording of my dad playing piano (he was a musician) and it always seems to get misplaced in my house! My mom made sure we all had copies (he died when I was 13). Thanks again for sharing with us!
Laura so young to lose your Dad. I found 13 not to be an easy age to begin with. Sorry for that loss.
4. What fruit do you see in following generations because of Nila and her husband’s accepting the mystery of suffering?
They have many blessings in their lives with their children and grandchildren.
5. Read John 9:1-3.
A. What does the question of the disciples reveal about their theology of suffering? Have you ever shared this theology? If so, explain.
The disciples believe in the “religious” suffering….one must have done something to have been given such an affliction.
B. How does Jesus answer them?
Jesus says it is not what the parents or the man did (sin), but that God would be revealed through the man.
6. At the close of Job, God asks Job many questions. What do you think was God’s point?
I think God was trying to make Job realize he (Job) was not in control of earth; only God is. His job was to believe and accept.
Testing: I posted two other comments that I don’t see even though it said they were posted. (maybe I spelled my name or email wrong since I’m on a different computer that doesn’t have them in memory. hmmm.)
What stood out: The willingness of Nila and her husband to allow Abby to experience the ultimate healing, being with Christ. While I have not lost a child in such a manner, my brother and I faced a similar decision with my Dad’s end of life. How hard to put the one that is suffering ahead of those of us who will remain behind. Also, the picture of Abby done by her father. Beautiful! And to understand that she was seeing Christ calling her home, incredible.
One area I see Christ at work is in Nila and her husband’s willingness to let Abby go to be with the Lord. Yes, it was painful. Yes, it was hard. Yes, they were obedient and listening to Christ. They did the hard work of trusting God in hard and troubling times. Because they obeyed, others will see the wisdom they displayed.
As I grow older, I think I respond more following the gospel. However, let me be quick to say that I have not mastered the concept. I believe, if I thought I had mastered it, that God would somehow remind me that I best not make it an idol to be proud of. Case in point: this last Friday my husband got a call of a young man he has been trying to help for some time. Usually, the call requires that my husband deal with a financial issue of this young man’s. Since the church has responded to this young man’s financial needs many times in the past, it is now up to us to help out. My husband decided to give financial help again. He knows that I do not believe we should continue to offer this type of help, as we have given much over the last two years. But, my husband makes a good point. If this young man has no one to help him, he will be forced to live on the streets. I have to remind myself to respond with the following: my money is not mine but God’s; this issue is one brought to us by God and I need to be willing to respond accordingly, not out of fear of losing money. So hard because I suspect the outcome will be the same as the last times we’ve helped him out. Yet God does not ask us to know the outcome before we act, just that we trust Him as we act.
Sherryl, This says so much to me. In fact, a situation I’ve been thinking about too, and how to respond to someone. So good.
So good, Sherryl as we are in a similar situation-God does not ask us to know the outcome before we act, just that we trust Him as we act.
Fruit of succeeding generations: at 17, Erin having such wisdom regarding the importance of Abby.
I thought that too Sherryl. I know some people don’t have pictures up of children who have died because of the pain — but I love how this impacted Erin — and indeed, our grief as believers is hard, but we have hope.
The disciples display the concept that suffering is a result of not pleasing God. That was true of the pagan religions of the day. However, Jesus shares that suffering is to bring about God’s greater glory. I Peter 3: 13-17 states that suffering because you did something wrong is a normal consequence, but suffering because you do right, are good, and doing God’s will is a better reason to suffer. In this case you are modeling the suffering of Christ. When we model Christ, we are being used by Him to reach others. Such is the impact of Nila’s story.
What stands out to me?
Thank you, Nila, for sharing this part of your life. I looked at the picture of you and your newborn, Abby. I can relate to the time and your youth as I think back to my firstborn, daughter. God touched your life and your husband with this precious one who has eyes that just glow.
Infants bring so much joy and I am touched by the picture your husband drew of her. This allowed all of your children to ” know her”.
“My husband and I sensed such a tender presence of God in our baby’s short life.” The song that Erin wrote is also a special gift.
“You were a gift for a little while. I’ve never heard your laugh or heard your cry.”
We expect so much with a newborn, and yes, God gives us a treasure to care for until He takes them home.
I was once a pediatric nurse- It was my first nursing job, and yet it took so much to see a child suffer that my tender heart
could not endure it for long. Thanks again for sharing, Nila.
Although I am no longer on the blog I read most weeks and am always blessed, Dee. Thank you for the story and the song. We lost a child 14 years ago, early in pregnancy. I know she was a daughter because God has graciously allowed two visions of her in heavenly places. In this blog I found comfort today and I thank you.
We have passed through many deep waters the last six months as both my husband and I lost beloved brothers, a great aunt and an uncle. I am a testament of His unfailing love. He has carried me through.
God bless you all. I love you, ~Kim T.
Kim! Fun to see your face here again! I’ve wondered a few times how you are doing. So sorry about all your loss. Love to you~
Yes — Kim so good to see your face. I’m sure your response to your loss helped make you the lovely woman you are. A great heart.
Hi Kim! Nice to see you again 🙂 so sorry for your losses. Thank you for your testimony.
Kim I am sorry for these losses I pray the Lord has been comforting both you and your husband.
Always a blessing when several sources affirm truth. I’ve been reading Tim Keller’s book, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering, then this blog study brings rich teaching on the same topic and last night, ‘out of the blue’, in the totally secular novel I am reading (written in 1943), these words: ‘They learned no compassion from their own anguish. Thus, their suffering was wasted’. That line would have gone right past me another week. This week, it stood out clearly! And it reminds me again of how nothing is wasted in the hands of our Redeemer.
Thank you, Wanda. “Nothing is wasted in the hands of the Redeemer.” Such a comfort as I think of my sister.
“nothing is wasted in the hands of our Redeemer”…Romans 8:28, “We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
Oh I am so grateful for this promise; we may not see what good has been brought from suffering, but God promises that all will work together in His plan for good for those who love Him.
1. What fruit do you see in following generations because of Nila and her husband’s accepting the mystery of suffering?
The fruit of transparency before God in Erin’s song and the ensuing acceptance and certainty of where Abby went. At 17, Erin showed spiritual maturity that not many teen-agers have.
5. Read John 9:1-3.
A. What does the question of the disciples reveal about their theology of suffering? Have you ever shared this theology? If so, explain.
That suffering is caused by sin. Yes. We used to go to a church where a family of 3 generations frequently was on a prayer list for some type of chronic illness. I’d be honest to say that I sometimes wondered if there was sin in their lives. Or that they must not be taking care of themselves.
B. How does Jesus answer them?
Sin is not the cause of the man’s blindness but that “the works of God be made manifest in him.” I looked up the word “manifest” and it means “show openly, evidence, proof, clear or obvious to the eye or mind”. The way I respond to suffering can bring manifestation of the works of God in my life.
4. What fruit do you see in following generations because of Nila and her husband’s accepting the mystery of suffering?
This:
“And here He is right beside me A touch to heal my wound. Moments He has planned so perfectly He knows I’m missing you.”
Erin not only learned a tenderness and love for sweet Abby, but she also learned a greater lesson in God walking with us, ministering to us, aware of us. She learned that bad things do not disprove God or His goodness. It also shows there is great Christ-love in the home to knit the mother’s heart with the daughter’s heart. My mom lost a baby at 3 days old and this lesson has really opened my eyes at how suffering loss can be not just bitter but bitter sweet in the memory and the knowledge of heaven. It also has been liberating to see a family speak of loss openly! So many avoid it in order to not poke the wound or upset someone. I do not think this is right anymore and unfortunately this is how my family dealt with it=( … we must listen to the Holy Spirit and follow the leading of the one hurting. To honor the memory of one so special lost from this world.
5. Read John 9:1-3.
A. What does the question of the disciples reveal about their theology of suffering? Have you ever shared this theology? If so, explain. The disciples believe that suffering is a direct result of sin and it can maybe be assumed that the worse the suffering the worse your sin. It makes me wonder at their interpretation of Job… Yes. I have shared this theology. It is only since doing Bible study here that I have begun to consider other approaches. Really – this sin=suffering theology is so much “easier,” fix your sin, suffering will go away. Trouble is it doesn’t work and really then shouldn’t we all be suffering ALL the time, severely?! It also opens wide the door of pride and judgment from each of us looking on others suffering. Not good. I have really been ministered to by this blog, studying the hard questions that I used to avoid and just hold my breath hoping it didn’t touch me.
B. How does Jesus answer them? “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.” This is beautiful. And if this blind man had not suffered all his life, he would have never known the touch of Christ. So it was not only for a public testimony of God’s greatness but for this man’s heart and soul that He would KNOW God through Christ touching Him. How tight do you hold a rope with both feet standing on solid ground? How tight do you hold it when the wind begins to blow? How tight do you hold it when the tornado comes?
7. Read Job 42:7-17
A. What does God ask Job’s religious friends to do?
They were to offer up a burnt offering to Job and he would pray for them.
B. Challenge Question: God doubled all that Job lost except for his children. Why, do you think He didn’t double Job’s children?
No clue here. I always wondered why God replaced Job’s children? Seems kind of harsh…… To lose your wife and your children and then have them be replaced? It’s not like a different child would fill the gap for your other children. Also it doesn’t say specifically that he replaced Job’s wife, but you assume he does because he has children now. Why bother replacing the children? Why not just leave it be?
C. What good purpose did Job’s suffering serve? Has this ministered to you? If so, how?
I suppose the good purpose was to show others that complete faith in God eventually blesses you. Job’s story has always ministered to me. I think of that acronym FROG (fully rely on God). I also find it amazing that Job never knew what really happened, but we do through the story. I have explained in another post how I always think of this story when I get down in my spirit about my children. I look around and see others so blessed by their offspring, and I can’t say that I am. It makes me sad, and questioning God is included in those times (just like Job did). I may never see the blessing God gives our family (just like Job). That also makes me sad. So I live through this life watching others have what I want, and I am to just be content? Yes, I guess I am. As I said before, it doesn’t necessarily make me happy, but then again I love the Joni Erickson-tada quote (which I have heard before) about God not making us happy, healthy, or wealthy, just holy. The hardest part of it is being genuinely happy for the other person who is blessed with the pleasing children. My kids seem to still be an idol for me…I sometimes wonder, “what did I ever do..?” (religious). Also, sometimes pain seems more fleeting with different situations. With my mom’s death, the days get easier as the time passes. With my kids it’s a constant reminder of pain every single day of every single year. When will it stop??? I suppose it stops when I give up, give in to Him; you see I know the words and the logic, but the “penny hasn’t dropped.” Maybe one day when I am thoroughly done with the mental struggle.
Oh, Laura. So sorry that your children are causing so much unhappiness. I understand a bit when I watch my daughter struggle with so much from her divorce and inability to get a full-time job. Our situation is not the same, but I too know that life is hard. Your words remind me of the hymn that both of us probably need to cling to when life gets us sad.
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame [that means any other person] but wholly lean on Jesus name.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand, All other ground is sinking sand.
Laura, I am with you on this. I have no clue either. However, as I was reading your response I wondered about something. Could the new family simply be allowed because Job was such a great role model for his kids? I also wondered if it could be simply because Job spent so much time praying and offering sacrifices of burnt offerings for his first family, just in case they displeased God (Job 1: 4-5).
Laura, your words break my heart and I I so hope that you will be encouraged again. Sometimes, those periods of discouragement over our children’s lifestyle can so drain us. How I wish I could ‘beam you over’ to Minnesota and introduce you to my friend, Ann. I think you would instantly feel a kinship. Ann has three adult children and not one of them are following the Lord. Her husband also, is not a believer. Shortly after we first met Ann, she was dx with a serious cancer in her hip and given a very poor chance of survival. That was 26 years ago. The harsh radiation effected her inside and she had to have a colostomy. She also walks painfully with two canes now. But, oh the joy she has in the Lord. Ann has been a speaker at women’s events for years and tells her story of the Lord’s goodness. And I have probably never known a more optimistic person. She is retired now, but is still teaching Sunday School as she has done for decades. AND she still asks me how my daughter (who has CF) is doing whenever I see her as Ann was her SS teacher when my daughter was little. The last time I saw her, she asked about my kids and I asked about hers. She was surprised to hear that my two oldest are not walking with the Lord. And she told me none of hers were. (and I think there are some extremely difficult dynamics with one of them). I have been adding her kids to my prayer list of adult children. There truly is no way we can logically understand why some parents suffer with the agony of their children walking down frightening and godless paths. But Ann’s smile and her love for the Lord in the midst of it always makes me look at my own heart. Hmmm. I guess, in the same way that Job’s story makes me evaluate the depth of my love and trust in God. ‘Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” Job 13:15 You are on my heart today, Laura. Praying for encouragement.
Laura-d, praying again now for you dear sister, so sorry. I think you spoke truth here “I suppose it stops when I give up, give in to Him;”–praying you can rest in leaving them in His hands and His grace, His love covering the multitude of our mistakes…”grace that is greater than ALL our sin”
Dear Laura I can share some of the things you have been struggling with. just this past week the channel my mind was on was needing to be changed. Things with my marriage mostly, this past week but other times it has been with my girls. All I can share is each time I know I have to keep my eyes on Jesus otherwise like Peter I begin to sink as I am looking at the waves that are surrounding. I also took out the book” One thousand gifts” again and started writing what I was thankful for. I have to share at first getting going was HARD especially for things relating to some of the toughest things. I also know I can not get into the trap of comparing any part of my life to anyone else’s which is a huge part of me not wanting to be on Facebook. All we see there is a snapshot of peoples lives and many leave there feeling less than. I have heard it first hand. It is such a lie. Every life you see has a story you do not see or know all the details of. Many of those people are so hurting and empty inside the biggest emptiness not having Jesus. Okay I am rambling and I am not trying to preach to you. and I know you already know this:) I hear your pain and I can share in it and we can lift each other up in prayer.
I love the hymn Diane shared:) On Christ the solid Rock, All other ground is sinking sand
Ladies, you SO bless me each time I read the blog; not just for me, but for everyone. I don’t post these items to gain sympathy (please don’t think that), I post out of frustration when I am trying to relate the bible and Jesus to my own personal life. So many questions, all the time, like job!
I want to share a story…..
last night we had dance class at church and my partner led. She is a “prophetic” dancer (I’m NOT), and stretches me every time we dance together. Last nights “exercise” was based on a vision she had earlier in the day about God being our “Father.” She was listening to a new piece of music where the words talked about having “no fear” of letting the Father take control, take charge. She wanted us to think of God the Father as our perfect father; to invision what that would “look” like to each of us. Her idea was to have us do a partner dance where one person mirrored the others motions; she referred to a time in her life when she felt as if Jesus was literally dancing with her, as part of her being. It was pretty powerful! I thought it was especially interesting that I had posted the post above, about needing to let Him take complete control, all the time, and her coming to this place as well! A kiss?
Yes, Diane, great song to remember!
The story of Ann is very heartening, Wanda. I would like to be like her for sure! It reminds me of my mom. Maybe one day I will make it to Minnesota!
Thank you for prayers Elizabeth; you are correct, His grace….
Liz, I have seen your posts recently, and I am so sorry you are struggling in marriage and otherwise. This blog has saved me over and over again with the wonderful women and their encouraging words and prayers. So true about FB 🙁
Dear Jesus, thank you for our sisters here, on this blog. Thank you for Dee, who faithfully posts and stretches us to think hard. We appreciate our cyber hugs to each other and value each other’s thoughtful posts. Bless my sisters in Christ, dear One. In their lives today, and in the future. Although things may not be as we believe they should be in our lives, help us to be content with what they are, so not to forget the most important thing of all, You. I pray in Your holy name, Amen.
Laura-d, thank you for your prayers for us–what a sweet “family” we have here. I love your story about thinking of God as our perfect Father as you danced–today in my class on Romans, we spent almost an hour on Romans 5:2-“Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”–as we talked about this access, as children, with our Father–it reminded me of what you shared here. The Professor gave the example of how, for him, as President of the Seminary, everyone else has to have an appointment to see him–but his children run down the hall, barge in his office, and jump on his lap—and that is the access we have with our Father! So I picture you–running, dancing, to Him, releasing Sarah to His care, trusting, resting
Oh, indeed a kiss…:) I love that your partner stretches you, as I am sure that you do her as well…you appear to be such a good match, such a good balance. The Lord works in mysterious ways…so happy He choose to work through your partner to provide for you in such a powerful, gentle way. It warms my heart…thank you for sharing, Laura.
just a quick “plug” for this week’s sermon–it is one of my top 3 most listened to Keller’s over the years and honestly I get new gold from it every time. I reviewed my old notes and still, while it was all there on paper–it’s amazing how– because of where I am in my life, in my current walk–the truth hits me in a different way every time. I really feel this is one of Keller’s most important sermons. OK, end of commercial 🙂
LOVE your plug, Elizabeth. Great that Keller’s sermon has impacted and helped you so much! Have a great day!
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4. What fruit do you see in following generations because of Nila and her husband’s accepting the mystery of suffering?
Nila’s husband had the talent and the motivation to paint the watercolor of Abby. They chose together to hang it on the wall where it remains some 33 years later. Their daughter, Erin, saw the watercolor — and I’m sure had it explained to her multiple times. Erin felt the “culture” of the home which was accepting of Abby’s departure to heaven, but one that cherished what Abby had contributed to their family life. Even the epitaph on Abby’s grave spoke “monumental truth” (pun intended) about her influence on all whom she touched in her short little life.
5. Read John 9:1-3.
A. What does the question of the disciples reveal about their theology of suffering? Have you ever shared this theology? If so, explain.
The disciples believed that disability and suffering were brought about by someone’s sins. In this case, they thought it was either the blind man himself or possibly his parents. I’m not sure I ever fully subscribed to this theology, but I confess to having wondered about it. As Dee has stated in this week’s posting “suffering is a mystery.”
B. How does Jesus answer them?
Jesus says that is not the fault of anyone, but the purpose of the suffering was to display God’s mighty works. It was an opportunity to give witness to God’s glory.
6. At the close of Job, God asks Job many questions. What do you think was God’s point?
God asked a whole series of questions of Job, to lead Job to the conclusion that Job barely understood anything concerning God and the world He had created. God was reminding Job that God was in charge of everything. Job also made the statement that “I know you can do anything; no plan of yours can be opposed successfully.”
I have not personally experienced the loss of a child. However, when I was a freshman and sophomore in college, I was employed as the secretary to the Director of Religious Life on campus. This man was a Methodist minister who had served, along with his wife, as a missionary in Southern Rhodesia (Zimbabwe now). While they were in this missionary field, their little daughter named Peggy (I think she was 3 years old), was walking around the edge of a pool, sucking a piece of hard candy, when she suddenly fell in and supposedly drowned. Later the autopsy showed the piece of hard candy stuck in her windpipe, so they really never knew whether she inhaled the candy and fell in the pool, or started to fall in the pool and gasped for breath, inhaling the candy. Either way, it was a tragic result. At the time I was working for this man, it was at least a decade after the child’s death. I was so surprised and inspired when I learned that every year at the time of Peggy’s birth date, their family would hold a “birthday party” in her honor. If it had been me, I don’t know if I could have done that; but I was so impressed and inspired to know that their family had come to that point where they absolutely wanted to celebrate her each year.
I think it is really great that the family held a birthday party in Peggy’s honor…I’m not sure I could have done it either, Deanna, but it certainly gives food for thought.
Purpose of Job’s suffering: Chapter 1 of Job is about God offering a challenge to Satan (verses 8-12). That challenge seems to be the paramount reason for Job’s suffering. If Job suffered unjustly, because God was trying to prove a point to Satan, then I would expect that God still could be challenging Satan in the same manner through the suffering of Christian’s today. Also, if we remember that our faith and belief system is strengthened when we experience trials by fire, our suffering is also paramount for our own growth in Christ. Whatever the reason for the suffering, the outcome is the same – Christ is modeled to those around us, the gospel is being seen and lived, and God is being glorified.
Sherryl–this is good “if we remember that our faith and belief system is strengthened when we experience trials by fire, our suffering is also paramount for our own growth in Christ.”
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“If Job suffered unjustly, because God was trying to prove a point to Satan, then I would expect that God still could be challenging Satan in the same manner through the suffering of Christians today.”
Excellent point, Sherryl.
One last thought on Job: the friends were to seek out Job to offer up the sacrifice, as commanded by God. With that sacrifice, Job was to pray for his friends. God stated very simply that He would listen to Job’s prayer because Job was righteous. The effective prayer of a righteous person accomplishes much. James 5:16.
I’m working on the study off line this afternoon, but ever since I read through it on Sunday, I’ve been thinking about the ‘challenge’ question. So even though I’m answering out of order, before these thoughts disappeared, I wanted to grab and post them.
B. Challenge Question: God doubled all that Job lost except for his children. Why, do you think He didn’t double Job’s children? Could it be, because his children were all safely with the Lord and he would see them again? They were not really gone as were his crops and livestock. And therefore, by giving him 7 new sons and 3 new daughters, the Lord actually DID double his family. It’s just that 10 were in heaven and 10 were on earth. This was what jumped out at me, because I read in Dee’s writing that “there are times when God chooses, for His own mysterious purposes, to heal in heaven and not on earth, as He did with Job’s children. ” I am not sure where we have the absolute evidence that Job’s children were righteous (I didn’t find those words at quick glance anyway), but we know that Job was and I don’t see any statement that says his children weren’t following the ways of God. So, if they indeed were faithful to Him, Job knew that he would see them again. Interestingly, though, we do know that Job daily sacrificed and interceded for his children in case they had sinned and cursed God. (vs. 1:5) Though I have questions about this and don’t know if I’m on the right track with my answer, this sounds very encouraging to me. Did the Lord hear the cry of his righteous servant, Job, on behalf of his children? Did they go into the presence of the Lord when they died since God held them fast because of their father’s faithfulness and righteousness?
Wanda, I agree–this is what I have always thought as to why God did not double his children–what I love is that in this act, God spoke to eternal life—while Job’s children had died an earthly death, they still lived (in eternity)–and it is that hint at eternity that God gives Job and we see that Job grasps in Job 14 “If a man dies, shall he live again? All the days of my service I would wait, till my renewal should come.”
Wanda, this was my thought as well…
Job’s “children were all safely with the Lord and he would see them again … not really gone as were his crops and livestock. And therefore, by giving him 7 new sons and 3 new daughters, the Lord actually DID double his family.”
I agree with Wanda and Elizabeth — I think his children were in heaven. And Laura he never lost his wife — so I am assuming she was the mother of the seven additional children!
Laura — you have big challenges but are a beautiful woman.
Oh! Thanks Dee, I thought poor wifey was part of the package as well…..appreciate clarification!
🙂 All we really know about her is that she told Job to curse God and die — so she might not have been that great of a blessing!
“poor wifey” had 20 child births…:) Based upon my two that were not easy…wow!
Just wanted to share the lyrics of this hymn, it so stirs my heart “This Breaks My Heart of Stone”-Charles Wesley (I only know the contemporary/acoustic version–but I’m guessing Diane and Wanda may recognize it!) But either version–the lyrics are just SO RICH
Jesus let thy pitying eye call back a wandering sheep.
False to Thee like Peter, I would fain, like Peter, weep.
Let me be by grace restored; on me be all it’s freeness shown
Turn and look upon me Lord; and break my heart of stone
And break my heart of stone.
Savior, Prince, enthroned above, repentance to impart,
Give me, through Thy dying love, the humble, contrite heart;
Give what I have long implored, a portion of Thy love unknown;
Turn, and look upon me, Lord, and break my heart of stone.
And break my heart of stone.
Look, as when Thy pitying eye was closed that we might live;
Father, at the point to die my Savior cried, forgive!
Surely, with that dying word, he turns, and looks, and cries, Tis done!
O my bleeding, loving Lord, this breaks my heart of stone!
This breaks my heart of stone!
This breaks my heart of stone! This breaks my heart of stone!
Oh, Elizabeth. Tears. I needed this. What beautiful words! O Lord, break my heart of stone! In love, You break my heart of stone again!
Elizabeth……I don’t know this one 😉 I would love to hear it sung. The words are very moving.
I’ve never heard this Elizabeth. They certainly had some rich hymns. Makes me think of the Stonecutter!
The fruit I see is the heart of compassion Nila has for others who are hurting which I believe came thru her own suffering.
I was not able to play the song but the lyrics by someone so young shows that same heart. A beautiful daughter and grand daughter.
Yes!
Liz,
If you like, I could email you this song (since you couldn’t play it from this blog site). My email is tnmulford at gmail
Nila Thank you I did email you. Thank you for the offer. I am not sure why I could not get it to play.
The disciples question was asking who sinned to cause this suffering. Have I ever shared this theology, Yes at least I should say the thought came to my mind when my daughter at the age of 5 was diagnosed with Epilepsy. I did think of my sin of abortion as possibly the cause of this at the time devastating news. The punishment of my sin.