I am realizing how profoundly an individual is impacted by either a missing parent or an abusive parent. Studies show you may be driven (instead of called), prone to addiction, and vulnerable to all the siren calls that come from the void of not being loved well by a earthly father or mother. The solution? Developing intimacy with your heavenly Father.
Hence this short series for the rest of April and May.
J. I. Packer said:
If you want to judge a person’s relationship with God, find out what it means to him that God is his father.
Every single one of us needs to know how deep the Father’s love is for His children. This is what can change our behavior, dissipate our anxiety, and overcome the evil one.
If you want to do this in a small group, members should read the opening and watch the videos/pictures on this website, but then can download the questions to fill out. Here’s the document for that.
Questions for #1 Abba, Father
I will be drawing from different classics on this subject which bring light to Scripture. (I think they all belong in your library!) But if one or more particularly resonates with you, perhaps His Spirit is telling you to get it and go deeper with it.
This week:
Henri Nouwan was a Catholic priest who struggled with same-sex attraction, and though the LGBT community wants to twist that into making him a hero who affirmed that lifestyle, his journals evidence not only that he trusted God’s plan for sexuality, but that he led a celibate life. He also struggled with “works righteousness,” as do we all, but perhaps Catholics do more so, thus slipping into Satan’s lie that we are loved on the basis of how good we are or that Christ’s blood is not sufficient to cleanse us.
Nouwen had an epiphany about the love of His Father when seeing Rembrandt’s “Return of the Prodigal” on a poster. He then went to see the original, pulling up a chair and coming back day after day to meditate on it, making the guards nervous. God showed him, through that masterpiece, how deeply loved he was by His heavenly Father. He was an overcomer, if not a complete victor, in the two areas where Satan kept trying to bring him down.
Nouwen was an art lover and thought we should memorize paintings that penetrate our hearts as we do Scripture. This week we will look carefully at the father’s cape, hands, and the head of the younger son. Memorizing these visuals will help you hold truths about the Father’s love in your heart.
Recently in listening to Keller on the relationship between sin and the devil, he said the devil doesn’t have power, he uses our own sins like a piano, and plays upon them, whispering lies. When I am deep in the sin of anxiety, how the devil likes to run evil fingers “glissando” on my piano, whispering lies, augmenting the deceitful thoughts of my heart:
He doesn’t love you. How could He?
Sunday:
-
Meditations on the above?
-
How have you experienced the Father’s love this week in big or small ways?
Monday: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Though Nouwen seemed to come from a stable family, he said, “Somehow fear of being rejected, of being abandoned, of being disliked has been with me as long as I can remember. I kept asking my parents, friends and colleagues in many different ways: “Do you love me?” In The Return of the Prodigal, he shares how even a good father cannot meet our deepest needs for love. Only God can do that.
This reminds me of Sally Field’s famous Oscar acceptance when she cried, “You like me! You really like me!” And what a fickle crowd to depend upon for love and identity.
Here is an 8 minute clip of Nouwen talking about looking for love in all the wrong places. As you listen, consider how you have trusted in these kinds of affirmations, for we need to expose the lies we believe.
3. Thoughts on the above?
4. Consider, how much is your identity based on any of the fickle following? (Be as truthful as you can)
A. The good things you do
B. What people say about you
C. What you have
5. Now, concerning each of the above, speak truth to your soul, using Scripture. (Use my suggestions or your own.) These are all of Jesus, but as He said, “If you have seen me, you have seen the Father.)
A. Matthew 9:36 and Luke 8:36-50
B. John 2:24 and 1 Samuel 16:7
C. Luke 12:13-21
Tuesday: Under His Wings
Prepare your heart with this:
Nouwen’s first encounter with Rembrandt’s painting was with the poster in another’s office. The portrait of the father blessing his son touched a place inside him that “had never been reached before.” He actually collapsed, so great was his longing for the Father’s love.
So often a picture or a “word picture” can reach the heart in ways words alone cannot. One of the aspects of Rembrandt’s painting is that the father’s cloak looked like wings.
The word “wings” in Scripture is translated in several ways – two different ways are seen in the book of Ruth.
6. Meditate on Ruth 2:12
A. How does Boaz pray for Ruth?
B. Meditate on this picture. Express what it means to you personally.
7. Meditate on Ruth 3:9
A. The word for “garment” is the same Hebrew word as is translated “wings.” What does Ruth ask of Boaz?
B. Culturally at that time, a widow was destitute — could not own property — was among the poorest of the poor. What meaning does this add to the concept of wings?
8. Meditate on Psalm 91:1-4
A. What does it say?
B. What promises are here?
C. Since hard things still come into our lives, how do you make sense of this?
9. Keller says to ask, after meditating on a passage: “If I really believe this, what difference could it make in my life today?” Answer.
Wednesday: Mother and Father
10. As Nouwen gazed on the painting, he noticed how different the two hands of the father were. What do you see?
Nouwen saw a male and a female hand, a father and a mother. Nouwen reflected on his own parents: It was my mother who offered closeness, affection, and personal care. My father seemed more distant. He was the provider who loved his wife, expected much of his children, worked hard, and discussed important issues. A virtuous, righteous man, but I found it difficult to be intimate with him (Sabbatical Journey 81-82) The sight of the hands actually touching the child moved Nouwen deeply.
11. Consider your own mother and father, and if willing, share both the positive qualities and, perhaps, the negative that could have distorted your view of God as Father.
12. Meditate on Matthew 7:11.
A. What does Jesus say?
B. What is He telling us about the Father’s love?
C. How might you apply this?
13. Meditate on Matthew 23:37
A. What is Jesus’ lament?
B. How does this show Him as a “mother?”
C. Notice who He loves (is it because they are good?) How does that calm your heart?
D. Notice the word “wings” again. What did Jesus say in John 14:9? Thoughts?
Thursday: Nothing in my Hands I Bring
In the painting, Nouwen began to look at the younger son. He’s missing a shoe and the other is tattered. His robe is filthy. But none of that matters to the Father. This spoke deeply to Nouwen for his own father’s love seemed conditional on how well he did in life.
14. Meditate on Luke 15:11-22 and find everything you can that shows what our heavenly Father is like.
15. Recently a pickleball friend came to Christ. She prayed a prayer of repentance and faith in Christ. But then she asked me: “How do I know He will accept my prayer? I’m so unworthy.” What would you have told her?
Friday: Born Anew
Then Nouwen looked at the younger son’s head in the painting. He was nearly bald, like a newborn baby, his head pressed into the heart of His Father. The more he looked at the painting she saw that it was actually “a large gate” for him to meet the One he had been searching for since he was born — “the God of mercy and compassion.” The more he looked he saw that the image of God created by Rembrandt was not just a warm father, but the womb of the divine Creator. He had come home.
Sometimes in our little church, due to good teaching on Scripture penetrating the heart, a person will “I feel like I’ve been born again, again!
16. Can you identify with the above? Have you had an experience of feeling like you’ve come home to God, or of being quickened, of being “born again, again?” What precipitated it?
Saturday: Take-A-Way
17. What is your take-a-way, and how, if you really believed it for today, might your life be different?
166 comments
10. As Nouwen gazed on the painting, he noticed how different the two hands of the father were. What do you see?
I see a younger, smooth hand, and an older, rough hand. I wonder if they represent the younger and older brothers?
11. Consider your own mother and father, and if willing, share both the positive qualities and, perhaps, the negative that could have distorted your view of God as Father.
I only knew my dad until I was 12 so I don’t remember much. I see him as weaker than my mom, a fun loving, opinionated person. He was a musician, so he was creative. He loves me, I know that.
Mom was the steadfast, bulwark in our family. She was a hard worker and probably the most devoted Christian I have ever known. I don’t think she outwardly expressed her love well though. I don’t remember a lot of hugs and kisses. But, her words were total comfort. She knew how to speak to you.
12. Meditate on Matthew 7:11.
A. What does Jesus say?
Basically that we, sinful as we are, we give good things to our children, so wouldn’t God, who has no sin, give good things to us?
B. What is He telling us about the Father’s love?
The Father’s love is unconditional.
C. How might you apply this?
I need to have unconditional love for my children.
That’s a thought about the hands, but I think I prefer Nouwen’s interpretation of a mother’s hand and a father’s hand.
10. As Nouwen gazed on the painting, he noticed how different the two hands of the father were. What do you see?
One hand was delicate and the other hand was rough and more masculine.
Nouwen saw a male and a female hand, a father and a mother. Nouwen reflected on his own parents: It was my mother who offered closeness, affection, and personal care. My father seemed more distant. He was the provider who loved his wife, expected much of his children, worked hard, and discussed important issues. A virtuous, righteous man, but I found it difficult to be intimate with him (Sabbatical Journey 81-82) The sight of the hands actually touching the child moved Nouwen deeply.
11. Consider your own mother and father, and if willing, share both the positive qualities and, perhaps, the negative that could have distorted your view of God as Father.
My parents were both Christians and both very loving. My dad loved my mom dearly, and it showed. He would make special fun breakfasts for my brother and me and pray for us at breakfast. When we were young and got up way too early, he would take us on a fun ride in the country where we could play and roll down hills, wearing off energy. This would allow my mom to sleep in a bit and we would not be sitting in front of a television set. My dad traveled a lot with the airline when we were young, so my mom had to keep us busy. She loved to walk and took us on long walks around one of the many lakes in Minneapolis. These were really long walks for little ones, but we loved it and were treated to a candy bar of choice at the grocery store on the way home. There were definitely times of stress, but the love is always most present in my memories.
12. Meditate on Matthew 7:11.
A. What does Jesus say?
We are flawed in so many ways, yet we are able to love and we desire to give good gifts to our children and those we love.
B. What is He telling us about the Father’s love?
The Father’s love is pure and perfect ~ He desires to give the best to us, His children. We need to love, trust and depend on Him.
C. How might you apply this?
I need to trust Him, to do what will draw me closer to Him and to give me the desire for the best gift from Him, which is eternal life.
13. Meditate on Matthew 23:37
A. What is Jesus’ lament?
Jesus wants to love and protect the people of Jerusalem, but they turn on Him and reject the gift and the giver.
B. How does this show Him as a “mother?”
He desires to gather them, as children, under His wings of love and protection.
C. Notice who He loves (is it because they are good?) How does that calm your heart?
He loves the children; the innocent ones, though they are unwilling to accept His love.
In the painting, Nouwen began to look at the younger son. He’s missing a shoe and the other is tattered. His robe is filthy. But none of that matters to the Father. This spoke deeply to Nouwen for his own father’s love seemed conditional on how well he did in life.
14. Meditate on Luke 15:11-22 and find everything you can that shows what our heavenly Father is like.
Our Heavenly Father is filled with such love for us that He gave His life and paid our price; He only wants us to come to Him and He is quick to forgive and has great compassion for each of us, if we come asking for His forgiveness and acceptance.
15. Recently a pickleball friend came to Christ. She prayed a prayer of repentance and faith in Christ. But then she asked me: “How do I know He will accept my prayer? I’m so unworthy.” What would you have told her?
We are all unworthy. Not one of us could ever earn the gift of eternal life, yet Jesus loves even the most unworthy (each and everyone of us!) and will embrace you the moment you repent and ask Him in to your life. no exceptions.
Thursday: Nothing in my Hands I Bring
In the painting, Nouwen began to look at the younger son. He’s missing a shoe and the other is tattered. His robe is filthy. But none of that matters to the Father. This spoke deeply to Nouwen for his own father’s love seemed conditional on how well he did in life.
14. Meditate on Luke 15:11-22 and find everything you can that shows what our heavenly Father is like.
—The father was watching and waiting for him. He ran to him.
—He had compassion for him. He cared deeply at the gut level.
—He hugged and kissed him. He demonstrated his affection for him.
—He covered his ragged clothes with the best robe, put a ring on his hand and put shoes on his feet.
There is significant meaning in each of these things. I found this commentary about them.
“The father then orders the servants to bring the best robe, no doubt one of his own (a sign of dignity and honor, proof of the prodigal’s acceptance back into the family), a ring for the son’s hand (a sign of authority and sonship) and sandals for his feet (a sign of not being a servant, as servants did not wear shoes—or, for that matter, rings or expensive clothing, vs.22). All these things represent what we receive in Christ upon salvation: the robe of the Redeemer’s righteousness (Isaiah 61:10), the privilege of partaking of the Spirit of adoption (Ephesians 1:5), and feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, prepared to walk in the ways of holiness.”
—He ordered that the fattened calf to be brought in and killed to eat in celebration of his sons return. I think ahead to the marriage supper with Jesus.
15. Recently a pickleball friend came to Christ. She prayed a prayer of repentance and faith in Christ. But then she asked me: “How do I know He will accept my prayer? I’m so unworthy.” What would you have told her?
—Being unworthy is what He requires from us. We have nothing to offer Him. That’s why the gift of Salvation is free. If we were in the least bit worthy and if we could do anything that made us worthy God would not have had to give his only Son to die for our sin. Jesus would not have had to go to the Cross. We needed a perfect sinless Savior to make us worthy.
That’s what I told my pickleball friend too, Bev.
13. Meditate on Matthew 23:37
A. What is Jesus’ lament?
His lament is that the Pharisees have missed the point. They follow the rules and are religious, but they have no love inside; they are dead.
B. How does this show Him as a “mother?”
We, as mothers, lament over our children when they make poor choices. He is saddened that they are so “smart” and yet so blind at the same time.
C. Notice who He loves (is it because they are good?) How does that calm your heart?
He loves those who are real. It makes me believe that I have a chance 😉.
D. Notice the word “wings” again. What did Jesus say in John 14:9? Thoughts?
I didn’t see any word “wings” in any of the translations I viewed. Jesus says we have seen the Father if we have seen Him. Not sure I am making the connection.
Thursday reflections15. Recently a pickleball friend came to Christ. She prayed a prayer of repentance and faith in Christ. But then she asked me: “How do I know He will accept my prayer? I’m so unworthy.” What would you have told her? I think many people don’t understand the totality of the gospel message. They see the Law, they’re aware of the ugliness in their own hearts, they compare themselves to God’s standard and they need to be reminded that the purpose of the Law is to be a MIRROR that reflects back to us our need of our Savior; it is not a standard that any of us can begin to meet. Romans 3:23 is a good scripture to point to if a person feels that they are uniquely more unworthy than others. We are ALL part of the ALL. None of us can do a thing to save ourselves; we fall so far short that we can only be in awe of what lengths God was willing to go to, to save us. The appropriate response to God’s offer of salvation is not to look at ourselves – but to look at Jesus, to see Him as the One who took our punishment and to overflow with gratitude.
4. Meditate on Luke 15:11-22 and find everything you can that shows what our Heavenly Father is like.
Our Father gives.
Our Father is patient.
Our Father is kind.
Our Father forgives.
Our Father is compassionate.
Our Father loves.
15. Recently a pickleball friend came to Christ. She prayed a prayer of repentance and faith in Christ. But then she asked me: “How do I know He will accept my prayer? I’m so unworthy.” What would you have told her?
He knows your heart. He accepts your humility. We are all unworthy. “We walk by faith, not by sight.”
“for we walk by faith, not by sight.”
2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV
Wednesday: Mother and Father
10. As Nouwen gazed on the painting, he noticed how different the two hands of the father were. What do you see?
Nouwen saw a male and a female hand, a father and a mother. Nouwen reflected on his own parents: It was my mother who offered closeness, affection, and personal care. My father seemed more distant. He was the provider who loved his wife, expected much of his children, worked hard, and discussed important issues. A virtuous, righteous man, but I found it difficult to be intimate with him (Sabbatical Journey 81-82) The sight of the hands actually touching the child moved Nouwen deeply.
11. Consider your own mother and father, and if willing, share both the positive qualities and, perhaps, the negative that could have distorted your view of God as Father.
I have the same thoughts regarding my father and mother. My Dad couldn’t provide for us when he got ill so that was a deep disappointment; one that I did not really understand at that time. My Mom pretty much single-handedly provided what we needed. They both changed though, close to the end of their individual lives, and it is only through the grace of God that I can look back and saw how much all of us needed the Lord. God did protect and provide for us. This largely contributed to my propensity to work hard instead of trusting God.
12. Meditate on Matthew 7:11.
A. What does Jesus say?
If our earthly father can provide good things for us, how much would our Heavenly Father do?
B. What is He telling us about the Father’s love?
It is so MUCH more than how my earthly father can love me.
C. How might you apply this?
To look to God for the meeting of my needs because He is the only one who can meet them. To some degree to truly forgive my parents for what I perceived was their lack of love by not providing for and protecting us.
13. Meditate on Matthew 23:37
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.
A. What is Jesus’ lament?
He longed to gather his enemies under His shelter like a hen that gathers her chick under her wings but they were not willing.
B. How does this show Him as a “mother?”
A mother gathers her children in her arms for protection.
C. Notice who He loves (is it because they are good?) How does that calm your heart?
His enemies, the ones who killed the prophets and stoned them; the ones who told them about the coming Messiah.
D. Notice the word “wings” again. What did Jesus say in John 14:9? Thoughts?
Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?
Tim Keller once said, we are blind to the real Jesus; we don’t see Him as He is. We look for Him in other things or people. The Pharisees were blinded by their pride and presumptions, and we can be, too. And we don’t want to be “under his wings” as the verse goes. With regard to John 14:9, perhaps, Jesus is saying as you come under my protection, so would you be under the Father’s.
Thursday: Nothing in my Hands I Bring
In the painting, Nouwen began to look at the younger son. He’s missing a shoe and the other is tattered. His robe is filthy. But none of that matters to the Father. This spoke deeply to Nouwen for his own father’s love seemed conditional on how well he did in life.
14. Meditate on Luke 15:11-22 and find everything you can that shows what our heavenly Father is like.
He is generous, kind to let us go when we want to leave, always on the lookout for our homecoming, always joyful in our homecoming, always forgiving, affectionate (kiss), ready to lavish us with his gifts, never afraid to get into our muck and mire (I could just imagine the stench of the younger son), never hesitating to confer to us what we are to Him all along- His sons and daughters.
15. Recently a pickleball friend came to Christ. She prayed a prayer of repentance and faith in Christ. But then she asked me: “How do I know He will accept my prayer? I’m so unworthy.” What would you have told her?
Because we are in Christ, our prayers to the Father are always heard and accepted and paid attention to. his answers may not be what we think they should be but for sure, He has heard us. Christ made us worthy to come before the Father. For after all God’s throne is also called the throne of grace. All we receive is by grace. And when we do not know what to pray for, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. But the latter might be for another conversation.
Friday: Born Anew
Then Nouwen looked at the younger son’s head in the painting. He was nearly bald, like a newborn baby, his head pressed into the heart of His Father. The more he looked at the painting she saw that it was actually “a large gate” for him to meet the One he had been searching for since he was born — “the God of mercy and compassion.” The more he looked he saw that the image of God created by Rembrandt was not just a warm father, but the womb of the divine Creator. He had come home.
Sometimes in our little church, due to good teaching on Scripture penetrating the heart, a person will “I feel like I’ve been born again, again!
16. Can you identify with the above? Have you had an experience of feeling like you’ve come home to God, or of being quickened, of being “born again, again?” What precipitated it?
Yes! I have been re-reading the book and I have reached the section on the “womb of the divine Creator”. I remember when my pastor/husband did a message based on the hymn, “He lives”. Many of us stayed after the service and talked about how God really ministered to us through the message. I did not think about returning to the womb, but I did feel like I was born again! Like when I first realized God loves me so much to send His son to die for me.
And Dee, re-reading Nouwen’s book really brought me time and time again to that feeling of being born again. Thanks for starting us with this book.
Love this from Bing:
Nouwen’s book really brought me time and time again to that feeling of being born again.
Saturday: Take-A-Way
17. What is your take-a-way, and how, if you really believed it for today, might your life be different?
That God is my Father. If I really believed it for today, I can go about my day without hurry and flurry. To go with God’s flow and to be in an attitude of gratitude for every moment however mundane it is. “ “‘In him, we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “‘For we are indeed his offspring.’ Acts 17:28
17. What is your take-a-way, and how, if you really believed it for today, might your life be different? This goes back to James study but after looking at the man to the side of father and son that the hands of mercy triumph over judgement. I need to be careful to look at situations through mercy first and not judgement.
That’s good, Judy.