As we allow our hearts to be warmed by the whole of the gospel, our idols will melt, as surely as sun melts an icy bay.
I am going to tell you a story of how the gospel melted an icy idol in my heart and also an icy idol in the heart of the woman who cleaned for me. We were each tempted in different ways to be our own saviors when faced with a problem. We had different temptations and and different deep idols – but the solution to our heart problem was the same. We needed to behold the beauty of Jesus and the truth of His love in order to melt our idols.
In the actual incident I am about to tell you, the woman who cleaned for me was the “poor man,” and I was the “rich man.” The Scripture says each of these circumstances lead to temptation. But the gospel has the power to rescue each person from the beast within.
THE TEMPTATIONS OF THE POOR AND THE RICH
When you are poor, it is tempting to steal. Steve would often remind me of how when we were newlyweds in 1965 and living on $300 a month, we returned some shoes he bought to a store from which we didn’t actually buy them. “We stole,” he said. It’s tempting when you are poor. Agur recognizes this temptation when he prayed:
Give me neither poverty nor riches!
Give me just enough to satisfy my needs.
For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”
And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.
Proverbs 30:8-9 (TLB)
1. What might a poor man be tempted to do — and what do you think might be his deep idol?
2. What might a rich man be tempted to do — and what do you think might be his deep idol?
Susan, whom is featured this week, wisely commented that underneath the three deep idols we have mentioned (comfort/security; approval/affirmation; and power/control) is ourselves. We want to be on the throne of our lives. This is a simple way to look at it and may help us in moments of temptation. However, it may also help us to identify the other idol, so we can think about how God could be our security, approval….
When I moved to Missouri after my husband died, I was looking for a woman to help me with cleaning. A woman I’d met at church called me, for she had heard about my need and wanted me to consider her daughter, whom I’ll call Violet. “Violet doesn’t know the Lord. But I sense an openness and a hunger in her – and I would be so thankful if she could get to know you. She’s a hard worker and she would do a good job cleaning for you.”
I agreed to meet Violet and talk to her. She drove to my house in a car with such a loud rumble I could hear her driving all the way down the hill to my street. Violet was rail thin, jittery, and talked non-stop. She got right into her speech before I could even hang her well-worn sweatshirt in the closet.
I’d be a good worker, my boyfriend got laid off a year ago and then I got laid off and we really need money cause it’s really hard – I got two other cleaning jobs and if I could work for you too I think we might maybe get by for now – I’d do a really good job for you, I know how to clean, I do, and I hope you’ll let me clean for you. His mother lives with us and she’s disabled so we are really having a hard time so I hope you’ll give me a chance and I’ll show you I’m a good worker and you won’t be sorry you hired me. In fact if you want me to start today I got some cleaning stuff right in the car and that would be good cause we’re really having a hard time and you could see that I’ll do a good job…
I was a little uneasy, but I also didn’t see how I could say no. That verse about “not shutting up my compassions” from 1 John came to me. I agreed to give her a try and she immediately ran to the car, got her supplies, and put all that nervous energy to work scrubbing down my kitchen and bathrooms. When I got out my check-book, she said, “Miss Dee – do you think you could pay me in cash? That would really help us.”
“Violet – usually people want to do that so that they don’t have to report it to the IRS. And that’s not legal. I need to pay you by check.”
“Oh – it’s not that, it’s just that things are kind of a mess at our bank and we need to get that sorted out.”
Again, I was uneasy. I told her I could pay her in cash legally for a few times, but it couldn’t be long-term. She agreed and said she’d figure something out.
But a month later when I tried again to pay her by check, she said:
I didn’t really tell you the truth Miss Dee, and I’m sorry, but a few years ago times were really tough and I passed some bad checks. Nuthin happened – but I’ve been afraid. I don’t want to renew my driver’s license or pay taxes, because then they might find out I’m still around and come after me. Will you help me, Miss Dee? I really need the money but if you pay me by check I could get in a whole lotta trouble.
I didn’t even know where to begin to help her, but I paid her in cash and told her I’d talk to some people and figure out a plan of action. She couldn’t keep hiding and I couldn’t be her accomplice. But I would try to find a way to help her.
A few days later, I got a call from Violet, who was sobbing hysterically. This was our conversation as I remember it:
I’m so scared, Miss Dee – you just gotta help me.
What’s going on?
I would never steal from you, Miss Dee. You been so good to me.
Did you steal from someone else?
[Sobbing] I took some jewelry from the other women I clean for and sold what I got at a truck stop – just enough to get us by. I didn’t know that stuff was worth so much. One of them says her ring was worth twenty-five thousand dollars.
Oh, Violet.
[More sobbing] That lady had a security camera and it has a movie of me taking her jewelry. She’s pressing charges. Miss Dee, do you think I’ll go to jail? I just can’t go to jail. I’m so scared. I didn’t know it was worth all that money, but she’s got a heart like ice. You gotta help me, Miss Dee. You got a good heart. Help me Miss Dee.
Oh, Violet. I’ll see what I can do. I need to talk to a lawyer.
You gotta help me, Miss Dee.
I’ll try.
I hung up and put my head between my hands. This was real trouble. Then I had the thought, Maybe she stole from me too. All I had of material value from Steve was an emerald ring, necklace, and bracelet. He hadn’t had the money for an engagement ring, but gave me an emerald ring on our fifth Christmas.The emerald pendant was a gift for our tenth anniversary. Then, just a few years before he died, he surprised me with an emerald bracelet.
I bolted to my bedroom and pulled out my jewelry box. They weren’t there. Neither was the diamond ring I’d inherited from my mother or my late mother-in-law’s wedding ring. As is typical for me, I tried to think of another explanation. This just couldn’t be happening. Maybe, I had put them all in a safer place – maybe they were hidden away at the cottage in Wisconsin. I thought, Violet told me she didn’t steal from me. But then I also thought, Violet has also lied to me before. In my heart of hearts, I knew she had taken them, but was clinging to threads of denial.
Forgiveness always demands a price. Letting someone off the hook who doesn’t deserve to be let off the hook is costly. Somebody has to pay when a wrong is done, and it hurts to pay. Angry thoughts multiplied. How could she do this to me? Did she not even think how much Steve’s gifts would mean to me now that he is gone?
Agur was right – the temptation of the rich man is to forget God. We can feel self-sufficient and for me, I could cling to my idol of control. I could forget the Lord, what He did for me, what He tells me about forgiveness, and exact a pound of flesh from Violet by refusing to help her.
When you belong to Jesus, if you are alert, you will also see how He comes in moments of temptation. As I stood in front of my plundered jewelry box, a picture of His Gospel, one I’d seen vividly portrayed in a movie version of Les Miserables, came to me.
In this play, Jean Valjean was a poor man who had spent nineteen years in prison because he stole bread for his family. When he was released a priest took him in. But Jean Valjean was bitter and angry and stole silver spoons and forks from the priest and fled. Constables caught him and brought him to the priest. The priest responded:
“Ah! Here you are!” he exclaimed, looking at Jean Valjean. “I am glad to see you. Well, but how is this? I gave you the candlesticks too, which are of silver like the rest, and for which you can certainly get two hundred francs. Why did you not carry them away with your forks and spoons?”
The constables are convinced of Jean Valjean’s innocence and let him go. The priest had forgiven, had let him off the hook, and had paid the price. Why?
Because of the gospel. Because he knew how he had been forgiven and therefore could not refuse to forgive. I knew I had to let Violet off the hook. But before I could even talk to her, the police came and arrested her. Then I began to get collect phone calls from her from jail, pleading with me to pay her bail and get her out. I asked her during one of those phone calls if she had stolen from me, and she told me again that she had not. Then her boyfriend began calling me as well, and made me particularly angry, for he said:
Please pay her bail – what she did wasn’t so bad. And I need her cause my mom needs help and there’s nobody to cook and we got these cats and she’s the only one who knows what they need…It’s only a thousand dollars, but I don’t got it.
My heart was not moved by him – and I was not so naive as to think that forgiveness meant I needed to pay Violet’s bail. I called my friend Eunice in Omaha with whom I’d done jail ministry for counsel. She said:
Violet is exactly where God wants her to be. God wants her to feel the pain of her sin. That is in her best interest. I’ve seen so many women in jail come to their senses and turn to God. You can visit her, send her Bible studies – but don’t pay her bail. Whatever time she serves now while waiting for her court date will be applied to her sentence.
I didn’t visit her during the two months she was in jail. Though I was traveling and speaking, I think my not visiting her was due to with-holding forgiveness. I forgave her in my head, but there was still ice over my heart. I did send her a Bible and Bible studies and letters telling her I was praying for her. She wrote me back, thanking me for the studies, saying she was doing them constantly. One day she called me and told me she was free. At her court date they had released her without any further penalty. (I’m not sure why, or why she didn’t have to make restitution, but I know the justice system in the U. S. varies vastly from state to state. Having worked in the Texas prisons, I have seen extremely long and unmerciful sentences – and then in other states – hardly any penalty at all.) I asked her to come see me and she quickly agreed.
When she came, I had her sit down, and she told me all about her time in jail. I could see her heart had been melted by the time. She thanked me for the studies, told me that they had really helped her, and that she was going to start going to church with her mother.
I said, “Violet – I need to ask you again. Did you steal jewelry from me?”
Tears welled up in her eyes and she nodded.
Tears sprang to my eyes too. My last thread of denial was breaking.
“And you sold them at a truck stop?”
Again, she nodded. The thread snapped. I’d never see any of that jewelry again. As my tears flowed, hers did too.
I had a choice to make. Forgive her from my heart or not. At that moment, I thought about what Steve would say. I knew exactly what he’d say: “In light of eternity, what’s important here, honey?”
I could hold onto my idol of control, my hurt, my anger – or I could surrender them to God and let forgiveness flow.
I would forgive – not just from the head, but the heart.
I had such a sense of the presence of God descending, of being led – like my actions and the following words were not really from me at all. I put two chairs in front of a large painting I had hanging in the entry way: a large framed print of Rembrandt’s The Return of the Prodigal Son. (It had been a gift from my dear friend Christy after she heard me telling her why I loved this painting.) I’d read Henri Nouwen’s book of the same title, where he opens with his first memory of seeing this painting:
One day I went to visit my friend Simone Landrien in the community’s small documentation center. As we spoke, my eyes fell on a large poster pinned on her door. I saw a man in a great red cloak tenderly touching the shoulders of a sisheveled boy kneeling before him. I could not take my eyes away. I felt drawn by the intimacy between the two figures, the warm red of the man’s cloak, the golden yellow of the boy’s tunic, and the mysterious light engulfing them both.
Nouwen then goes on to tell how he felt propelled to see the original at The Hermitage in St. Petersburg, Russia – how he pulled a chair up and sat all day, making the curator uneasy. The Gospel is in that painting. It is The Gospel that changes lives and The Gospel in The Return of the Prodigal transformed Henri Nouwen.
As Violet and I sat in front of the vibrant colors and emotions of that painting, I told her the story of the two sons in the story Jesus told.
This father you see in the red cloak had two sons. The father was good and loving, but neither son really loved him. They loved what he could give them instead. The younger son demanded his inheritance early, and went and squandered it in riotous living. He lost it all and became very poor. He returned to his father deeply repentant. He did not even feel worthy to be called his son. He planned to tell his father that he would work for him as a hired servant. But before he could even apologize, the father saw him coming from a long way off, and he ran, and he fell on his son kissing him and rejoicing.
There is also an older son. Do you see him here in the shadows? He’s not really in the room – he’s up on this step observing, angry, bitter. You see his father threw a party for the younger son and that didn’t seem fair to the older son. Later, when his father went out to him and asked him to come to the party and rejoice that his brother had come home, the older son refused. He said, “I’ve slaved for you all these years – and yet you never had a party for me, never killed a fatted calf – and this son of yours has wasted everything, and you throw a party for him?”
The father was sad. He said, “Son – you have been with me these many years – and all that I have is yours. It is fitting that we should rejoice and be glad – for this your brother was lost and is found, was dead and is alive.”
Violet was listening intently. I said:
“Violet – the father in this painting represents God. You are like the younger son, the one broken and kneeling here. You stole from people because you didn’t think God would take care of you. But He would have. He loved you so much He did not withhold his own son, but gave Him up to pay for your sin on the cross. He will not withhold what you need from you. He longs for you to trust Him and come home to Him. He is watching and waiting for you to come home, to confess, and to surrender your life to him.”
Violet was crying.
“That’s what I want to do, Miss Dee.”
“You can do it right here, right now. Just tell him how you feel, and thank Him for dying for you. Ask Him to come into your heart and change you.”
“I need that – cause I really feel like I have sticky fingers.”
“He can help you. He came to rescue us not only from hell, but from sticky fingers and all kinds of other things.”
At that moment Violet bowed and prayed a simple prayer of confession and surrender. We hugged. More weeping.
“I need to tell you something else, Violet. I’m in this picture too. I am like the older son here, in the shadows. He was angry with his brother and wouldn’t forgive him, wouldn’t go to him. Even though he could see his father loved him, he could not share in the joy of his father.
I was angry with you. I forgave you in my head, but my heart was still hard. Even though I sent you Bible studies and wrote you, I was too angry to visit you. I was wrong. God has forgiven me so much and been so good to me. Jesus went all the way to the cross to pay for my sin – so what right did I have to not forgive you? I do forgive you, from my heart, and I’m sorry it took so long. I need you to forgive me for my icy heart.”
“Of course I do. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I wish I could get what Steve got you back – but I don’t know how. That truck driver is far away now.”
“I know. But we each have what really matters – we have Jesus.”
She nodded. It’s been two years and Violet has been faithful in going to church with her mother. The last time I asked her if she was still living with her boyfriend, and she was. She said, “I need to get myself right first.” Like so many believers, we enter in the Kingdom in surrender, and then try to get ourselves right. It’s a journey of faith, and many have trouble progressing because they don’t understand that the gospel is for the journey as well. I pray the gospel will keep melting Violet’s idol of security so that she can break with her boyfriend. And I pray the gospel will keep melting my heart so that I care about the things my Father cares about.
ICE-BREAKER! 🙂
3. I want to use this story in my new book, and I’d be so grateful if you could underline, ponder, and tell me what moved you or what did not — what you understood, what you did not.
BIBLE STUDY
THERE ARE TWO KELLER SERMONS THIS WEEK — BOTH ON THE TWO SONS, BOTH FREE. LISTEN AND COMMENT ON THEM. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE ESPECIALLY HUNGRY AND HAVE THE TIME TO DO SO, YOU MAY WANT TO LISTEN TO OTHER OF KELLER’S FREE SERMONS ON THE PRODIGAL SONS — THEY CAN BE FOUND AT: http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/sermonlist/3
LOOK FOR ALL THE ONES ON LUKE 15. KELLER SAYS THESE MESSAGES ON THE PRODIGAL SONS ARE THE FOUNDATION OF HIS CHURCH — FOR THEY ILLUMINATE TWO WRONG APPROACHES TO GOD AND THEN THE GOSPEL WAY.
SERMON 1: HE KISSED HIM
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/and-kissed-him
4. What stands out to you from this sermon?
5. What three aspects of forgiveness did Keller mention?
6. Does this gospel love melt any of your idols? Does that affect any near sins? If so, explain, and if possible, give a specific example.
The Second Sermon is The Prodigal Sons
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/prodigal-sons
7. What stands out to you from this sermon and why?
8. How you do identify with the younger son? The older son? How can the gospel help you avoid their snares?
THREE WAYS
9. KELLER OFTEN TALKS ABOUT THREE WAYS:
A. THE WAY OF IGNORING AND REBELLING AGAINST GOD (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
B. THE WAY OF TRUSTING IN YOUR OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS AND MORALITY (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
C. THE WAY OF THE GOSPEL (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
Read James 1:9-11
10. What is the poor man, or the lowly brother, to remember about the gospel? How could this help him in times of temptation?
11. What is the rich man to remember about the gospel? How could this help him in times of temptation?
12. With which man do you identify? How could this instruction from James about the gospel help you?
Aslan is on the move melting our idols. The White Witch is upset, for she says, “This is no thaw! This is Spring!”Aslan is near.
13. Be alert for Aslan on the move — and record any sightings here!
14. If you listened to any of the other Keller sermons on the prodigal sons, share your gleanings here.
MEETING OUR BLOGGERS: SUSAN!
Susan is another woman seeking hard after God, and I love what she wrote in our last post:
“OPEN YOUR HEART TO THE STONECUTTER! (that needs to be in Dee’s new book!) LET HIM HAVE YOU…LET HIM DO WITH YOU WHAT HE WILL…fall into His arms and trust.” Susan wrote of her husband Jess, her two sons, Adam and Ryan (20 and 17) and of her daughter Melanie (10).
My greatest ministry and passion has been being blessed and privileged to be a wife and mom. Being home with my children to love, care for, and nurture them is the best thing I could ever do!
I have loved reading God’s Word to them and explaining it to them; trying to exhort them to test everything against the plumb line of Scripture. I treasure the memories and love I share with each child, from Adam, who in 3rd grade would get up 10 min. early for school, get dressed, and jump in bed with me to ‘snuggle’, saying, “Mom, this is the best part of the day!”; to Ryan, who, at age 13, said, “Mom, you are really nice to talk to, I like talking with you”, as we were shooting baskets in the driveway; to my Melanie, who every day gives me an abundance of hugs and kisses and “I love you more!” Her small hand in mine is better than any riches!
I’m the youngest of 3 sisters; I didn’t grow up in a Christian home, we didn’t go to church. God brought me to Himself as I went to church with my husband when we dated; I felt so drawn to be in a church family, to be “on the inside”; wasn’t sure how? Several years after joining a denomination, and then going to a Bible teaching church’s Bible study, I finally heard the Gospel and prayed to Jesus to forgive me of my sins. I imagined myself at the Cross, knowing my shameful sins were what He was dying for; and thought, “What would Jesus say to me?” Immediately into my mind came these words, “Now do you see how much I love you?” I know salvation is all of God, because I didn’t know I needed Him. I was 34.
I am a registered nurse and work a few days a month as a med-surg staff nurse, and a stay at home mom; I like to bake, read, do Bible studies, walk, hike, bicycle, work in my flower garden, and I like to be outside. I teach 3-4 year olds Sunday school at my church. I love this age group! As an RN, I like caring for my patients and anytime I’m able to talk about Jesus with them.
This study on idolatry is causing me to look at myself and my sin in a whole new way. Now I look for the root of my sinful habits and patterns; it has shed light on why I do what I do! A specific example is how I relate to my in-laws, husband, and children. I often react with anger, hurt feelings, jealousy. I see now an idol of affirmation/approval, or power/control. I’m learning that only God can fill the hole in my heart, not my idols, not other people. Getting free from these idols will mean a freedom in my relationship to others; being free to love them; and helping me to put God first. One day, I want to live this verse: “I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32
15. Let’s bless Susan!
356 comments
Thank you for praying, I understand the surgery went well, he is groggy but responding.
His mom said to tell the woman who hit him, who she knows, tell her she loves her and she is praying for her as well as for her son.
Please pray for no infection, and no uncontrolled swelling
I will continue to pray. Please keep us posted.
Anne, How is Joey doing?
Update, Domenic’s paernts are on their way home their flight left at 5 am, they should land around 7:30.
He has a metal plate in his head, there are multiple fractures around his eye socket, they do not yet know if he will loose his eye.
I have had spritual conversations with these parents. They are open, but very confused about spiritual things. Ellie texted me last night that she prayed to Daniel.
She was so tender toward me, she bought me books on loss from the Christian bookstore & she was one of the few who were truly a comforting presence during my distress.
I had an very difficult night due to the emotions and memories this has evoked. Domenic is in the same trauma center we were, the same PICU.
The thought of going there scares me, I do not know how I will hold up.I am even afraid I will get physically ill when I go there again. I have held off those memories, and truly processed how all of this came to be but a very little.
I listened to a John Piper message on suffering, he said of this verse;
Collosians 1:24 Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church,
That what this means to us is that we like Paul are an example to the watching world of how to suffer well, that they can’t see Christ suffer, but that they can see us and we can be an example to them.
I have not enjoyed my role as “tragic celebrity”. I see people whispering and looking at me in public places as I know one is telling another, “thats her, shes that boys mother”
Still others have said the mere sight of Bill and I in church speaks to them.
I guess I hope to overcome my self, and minister to Ellie at this time. I trust God, its me I am not too sure of.
Chris
It’s interesting that we posted at the same time. Maybe the Lord wants me to tell you what I’ve learned through my suffering. I believe that when we do the opposite-stay in the public eye-of what others around us expect-isolation from community-God gives fills us with his indescribable power so we can move forward and live in spite of the deep, deep pain.
Chris, This post brought me to tears. Your journey is ministering to me so. What is really inside of you has been pressed out through this horrid trial and His light is so bright. It is a perfect picture of His grace and beauty amidst the pain.
I admit part of me fears this happening to me with one of my boys at some point. I think if it did I would want to die. You are showing me what Grace, and truly walking in faith looks like in the midst of one of the most unimaginable trials a parent could face.
Rebecca,
I have felt that fear coming off of others in the way they interact with me. I have seen other believers looking at our situation and seeming to do mental gymnastics finding a way to reason it away as something that won’t or wouldn’t happen the their child, like it must be our fault.
I remember hearing a sermon years ago, the speaker asked if there were things in ours lives, if they were taken from us that would cause us to turn away from God.
Daniel was not even born at that time, I wrestled with the thought of God taking one of my older two boys. That was more than 20 years ago. I know that he has prepared me for this trial, but it is still so so very hard.
I hold onto the picture of him enjoying Heaven, I am so glad he had faith, that I know God had called him, so we can have hope.
Chris–I would be one of these you mentioned, if I were at your church: “Still others have said the mere sight of Bill and I in church speaks to them”. I hate the pain and agony you have to endure, and I felt that reading Dee’s book. And yet when I look back at my life at the people who have ministered to me most–from teachers to pastors…it is always those who have been through the fire, whose faith has been proven real and deep–those, like Dee, like you, have strengthened my faith in ways no one else can. It still seems unfair that you should have to go through it, but I just wanted to say what a testimony it is to all of us to be around you.
Amen to all Elizabeth wrote.
Thank you Elizabeth,
I hope I wont waste all of this pain, that I allow it to accomplish Gods purposes in me.
Chris
Just prayed for Ellie, Dominic, Cheryl, and you. Have a blessed day!
Thank you Tammy
Chris, I’m praying for them also and for you and your family. This tragedy brings back too many horrible memories for you to bear again so soon. I pray Dominic continues to improve and you may be able to help this family because of your pain you have suffered. I’d be glad to send them a copy of Dee’s book, The God of all comfort, if you’d like. Just to know what other’s have gone through can help alot. I’m praying for all of Dominic’s family and the driver that hit him and Dominic and you and your family. Love you, Sister
Dear Chris,
I’m just catching up reading posts – and I read about Domenic and am praying for him and his family and Cheryl.
Chris,
you are one of the bravest women I have ever known – if only through cyber-space! – but my heart goes out to you. Through this tragedy, you are re-living your own with your son, Daniel.
Yet God has given you such an understanding of the opportunity you may have now to minister to Domenic’s parents. You write that they are spiritually confused, but open. Even the fact that the mom prayed to Daniel shows her understanding that Daniel is in heaven and her desire to ask for prayer for her own son. I believe the door to their hearts may be wide open right now. Of course, this is not the time to pressure them into receiving Christ on the spot but God has plowed up the soil of their hearts and it is fertile for planting.
I pray that God will give you the strength if you decide to visit Domenic in the PICU where your son was. I had a small experience with these kinds of feelings. When I was about 7 months pregnant with my daughter, I had an episode of SVT. I was at home with my son, who was 6, and we were getting ready to go on an errand. I started having heart palpitations, which were nothing new, so I went back inside and laid down on the couch. But these were different. Suddenly I felt my heart beating wildly too fast and I asked my son to bring me the phone. I called 911. I was really afraid. The paramedics came and when they tried to stand me up my heart rate on the monitor was in the 180’s. They took me to the ER and the one paramedic drove my son to the baseball field where my husband was with my older son. I truly thought I was going to die. It was such a frightening experience.
I saw a cardiologist, and after my daughter was born I continued having these strange palpitations for a few months. My father in law had to have open heart surgery in August, 3 months after my scare. I was almost literally sick when we visited him in the hospital. Mind you, I’m a nurse and work in a hospital. I wondered how I was ever going to be able to go back to work! I was having anxiety and panic attacks.
This is the cool thing. A good friend of mine had me over for lunch with some other ladies and she read from a devotional for that day which spoke of fear. I was stunned – I felt the message was just for me. A few days letter, a letter arrived in the mail from her. She had included a piece of paper with the verse from Isaiah 41:13 on it: “For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you.”
She explained in her letter that she used to have terrible panic attacks and always carried that verse, torn out from a page in a devotional book, in her purse. She said it was securely tucked in her purse as to never lose it. Well, after we had left her house that day, that paper fell out of her purse and she found it on the floor. She felt it was meant for me.
I clung to that verse during those weeks that I was still so afraid my heart was going to do something crazy. I was so afraid to be home alone I would sit outside so if something happened I figured a neighbor would find me. I began to imagine God walking alongside of me, holding my hand all the time.
Thankfully, that season of fear passed.
Perhaps this verse will help you, too.
I forgot to add, that when I got that letter in the mail, I felt like I’d just received a letter from God Himself; I cried as I read it. This is one of my “stones of remembrance” of something the Lord did for me!
Wow, Susan. I think your story ministers to everyone controlled by fear — as we all are at times. But how perfect for Chris. And there are others on this blog, I know. Thank you so much.
Thank you Susan, I too have had SVT, they wanted to do an ablation, but I am reluctant, I haven’t had another trip to the ER since I quit my stressful job. I am glad yours subsided, I love how God sent you the verse.
I am not sure yet if or when I will go to the hospital.
So many visited us in the hospital (sometimes as many as 40 people at once) that seeing all of the became a burden to us. Many who came seemed to need something from us to make them feel better. I do not want to be that person in this situation, I fear going there would be about me and my unresolved pain, and not about them and their trial. I am just not sure yet.
Oh yes, I do not feel brave or strong at all, quite the contrary.
Oh Susan, this was a hard but good read too. It really spoke to me. I suffered something similar–including the ambulance & ER experience a few months before coming to this blog–back in Nov. It is still hard when I even see an ambulance to not re-live the fear and panic. Your story helps me remember the ways he sustained me, He held me, and has comforted me since–I am sorry for what you went through, but thank you for sharing–such a testimony of His Fatherly love for us.
After my daughter was born, we had ordered pizza one night for dinner. Right after I ate I had the most horrible chest pain and was dizzy. Since I’d been having panic attacks, I’d often felt like I had a lump in my throat and had developed acid-reflux.
I called my doctor, and I know he was thinking of the risk of a pulmonary embolus because I’d just had a baby; but I still didn’t think it was that, but I went to the ER.
AS I was sitting in the waiting room, I had my eyes closed, and I was saying that verse over and over to myself….”For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand….” Suddenly I felt a big warm hand on top of mine. I opened my eyes, and it was my dad! (My husband had phoned my parents)
That was another wonderful surprise from the Lord!
Susan, you had me going there for a minute! I thought you were going to say you felt Jesus’s hand on your hand, like I felt his hand on my shoulder in the hospital! What a wonderful blessing, tho that your father came to be with you. How comforting that must of been! Thank you for that story of what happen to you.
Proverbs 30:8-9
ESV; Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me,
lest I be full and deny you and say, “Who is the LORD?” or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.
The Message;
Banish lies from my lips and liars from my presence. Give me enough food to live on, neither too much nor too little. If I’m too full, I might get independent, saying, ‘God? Who needs him?’ If I’m poor, I might steal and dishonor the name of my God.”
1. What might a poor man be tempted to do — and what do you think might be his deep idol? He might be tempted to believe that God doesn’t see him, or that God has turned his back on him, that he has no hope but himself.
2. What might a rich man be tempted to do — and what do you think might be his deep idol?
He might be tempted to believe that his blessings are his own doing, that he is self-sufficient. He might believe that he is superior and has no need of God
I guess I see both of them as having deep idols of power & control.
Tammy,
reading your post about how the icy idols are melting really spoke to me. You wrote about your relationship with your mother, and your other family members. One thing that helped you was from Leslie Vernick, accepting that you may never have the mother/daughter relationship you so wanted, and to therefore see every chance to meet her needs as a ministry to serve her.
There’s so much in your testimony that is so rich, Tammy.
I see in myself a non-willingness to accept that, perhaps, I will never have the husband/wife relationship I desire in my heart, i.e., the way I want it to be (idol of control).
Also, I have one sister of whom I can say, we do not have the sister/sister relationship that I would like to have.
I think one of my roots of unforgiveness stems from wanting to make that person pay for not living up to what I want them to be, for not making our relationship what I want it to be.
Instead of absorbing the wrongs they have done to me, and being willing to love them where they’re at. As both are unsaved, they don’t have the ability to be different right now; and even if they were Christians, I have learned that we still fail to meet each other’s needs that only God was intended to meet.
Tammy, if you have the time, I would like to hear more about what you learned about generational sin. You said you made a list of what you (saw in your own life?) as being generational sins.
One of your strengths is that you take the Word of God and make it so applicable to daily living – you live it out!
Susan
I have the day off from work tomorrow and would be glad to share with you what I gleaned. I’ll dig out my notes from the study. I’ll go ahead and warn you this subject is not fun to study but the journey to freedom is worth the work.
Ellie posted this on facebook;
thank you for all of your prayers. We still havent made it back, but will be on the 5am flight this morning. It comforts me to know that nico has so many people who love him. His surgery went well, he has been talking, and even joking. God bless all of you.
Praise God!
Cyndi–this is so hard to read and not be able to rush to you, hug you, and just encourage you…but I am praying right now for you all. You amze me with these words “my heart is filled with compassion for my
hurting husband.”–such evidence of His Spirit sustaining you, shining through you…I will pray God’s healing will come soon, Much love to you~
I feel your hug Elizabeth thank you so much! Your love and words are a balm to my spirit. thanks you!
Cyndi,
You must be going through some difficulty right now – praying for you – I cannot find a post from you but God knows your circumstances and I can pray.
Susan, I just went to Leslie Vernik’s blog and found this. It was a great read. I did the PDF instead of listening to it:
http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.6301569/k.2816/The_Emotionally_Destructive_Relationship.htm
You can either listen to her on Focus on the Family or you can click on the PDF form and read it if you want. She also has a free online test to take on her site. She initially talks about her relationship with her mother but then goes into the different types of relationships in marriage. It is really good and helpful to all kinds of marriages-even healthy ones so that we can get an objective view as to if it is indeed healthy or not. She is good.
She has a website too. I just can’t find the link right now. If you click on the free resources on her website there is a bunch of stuff there. The test is there too I believe.
The reason I referred it to you is because it helped me to navigate what is healthy and what is not. The reasons I had a hard time forgiving, etc. I thought you might be able to glean from it too. We always have to be careful when looking at stuff like this because we don’t want to go overboard with it, but I really did get some helpful input from it.
I have found Leslie to have a clear head, and I know her personally and love her deep hunger for God. She was trained at Westminster and in her counseling always addresses idolatry. I completely endorse her.
Dee, What a blessing it must be to know her!! What was different about her that stood out to me is how she debunks a lot of misnomers in our circles about marriage and what is considered destructive and what isn’t and what biblically we should and CAN do. There is a lot of great stuff there and I would recommend to any one who is struggling to go to her website or to read her books. While they are out there, good counselors like her are hard to find!
Yes, I agree. I’ve been so blessed that she wants to be with me! She is coming to my cottage in September and already has made her air reservations. I am going to share with her your comments, for I know they will bless her. She is a steady calm lovely woman — as are you! Oh — and I know she is coming to the Olathe area in February.
Really? If you don’t mind could you let us know when, or perhaps it could be on her website. I will look there.
Oh and when you said she was coming to your cottage I thought..OH, WISH I COULD BE THERE. haha! I know it would be impossible but it would be literally a sweet taste of sitting at Jesus’ feet being in the presence of both of you godly women.
Was Leslie the one you spoke with who gave us the help in identifying our idols- when they are active, by paying attention to our body signals and sinking into them? It was a piece in the puzzle God used and was transforming for me. Totally transforming.
SHE IS THE ONE ON BODY SIGNALS — HERE’S THE E-MAIL SHE SENT ME WITH INFO:
The conference I am speaking is the Women of Virtue Conference for the American Family Association of KS and MO which will be at Prince of Peace Church in Overland Park, KS. Maybe it’s not Kansas City now that I’m really looking at it. I don’t want to make the same mistake I made when I thought Wisconsin Dells was where you wereJ
It is Feb 4. 2012
THANKS! Wrote it down. It is not too far. 🙂
Thanks Rebecca… I’ll check it out tonite after my daughter goes to bed!
Cyndi was concerned about privacy after she posted so asked me to take her post off, but I know she appreciates your prayers!
yes, thankyou! I will be praying that both of us will be filled with Holy Spirit so that we can love our husbands tenderly and totally even when they hurt us.
4-6 absorbing the debt….this is what stands out to me. forgivness is not easy, it is not cheep, it does not make others pay. Jesus payed a much bigger price for my sin then I will ever pay for any sin done against me.
HOW do we forgive?? you need a huge amount of power inside.
*resist superiority and release liability*.
I want to protect my heart, I do not want to open it up to hurt, but what did Jesus do? He opened himself up to death on the cross! the truth is that even if Paul NEVER thinks I am good enough, or try hard enough, I am still called to love him and forgive him…period. when I put a wall around my heart and stop loving with my whole heart I am not trusting that God is enough. God will heal my broken heart, HE knows my heart, HE knows that I am doing the best I can, HE loves me perfectly so that I can love and forgive in HIS strength and not my own.
of course I pray that some day my sweet husband will be happy, that he will “know what it is like to be content in any situation” and that He will FEEL the love of the Jesus that he tries so hard to serve in his own strength.
BUT I am called to put paul at the foot of the cross, to trust him to our Lord.
SOOOOOOOO I am praying that I will not be an “older brother” that I never do good so that I am good and looked up to…. but because In my heart of hearts I UNDERSTAND the price Jesus payed for ME.
cyndi,
Giving up you ‘right’ to feel superior to your husband and to hold your hurts against him is huge!
I pray your obedience will allow Gods power to be released in your marriage.
Chris S: I am praying too.
I heard some good teaching on forgiveness this morning. It is Beth Moore on James Robison. She had two striking points:
2 Cor.10:3-5 Unforgiveness is an automatic stronghold.
2 Cor 2:10&11 Unforgiveness is an opening for temptation and for satan to outwit us.
If you care to hear more you may go to
http://lifetoday.org/video/?search=Beth%20Moore
I believe this was an Aslan sighting for me this morning since I don’t usually have the t.v. on. I prayed again today and am choosing to forgive the person I mentioned yesterday but I have done that before. I am wondering if it will be a daily thing to pray forgiveness and blessing on this person until it is resolved. God is faithful and will show me since it is His plan for me to walk in forgiveness.
Kim T.
It must have my Aslan sighting also for I heard the same message this afternoon. Today as I listened I realized I had to write down what Beth was saying particularly about bitterness. I finally confessed to Jesus that I had been holding something against a couple who I felt turned their back on me a few years ago when I went through a really hard time. The lessons I learned from that particular experience was the Lord is the only strength I need and very few people are willing to take a risk for another person. Absorbing that loss wasn’t has bad as I thought. I think I just didn’t want to let go and I was on the throes of giving in to the temptation to badmouth this couple. Beth stated Satan has schemes and he will bring me down if I don’t watch my tongue!!
Tammy, that is neat that you listened too. I am going to B/M in Lincoln NE next week w/ my daughter in law. I took her last year to this and Women of Faith and she loved it. We decided to do it each summer. What blessed me was when she said her interest in spiritual things really grew at these events. I love that God is so faithful to show where we are wrong if we are willing to listen. I’ll keep praying for you and you pray for me.
Could someone help me with the address to listening to the other sermons on the Prodigal? I can’t seem to find them when I click on the one’s Dee posted. Thanks!
Kim–see if these will work–I looked up the other Luke 15 sermons from the list and these are the direct links:
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/give-me-mine;
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/he-came-himself;
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/he-welcomes-sinners;
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/true-older-brother; http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/we-had-celebrate;
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/be-called-your-son
Bless you Elizabeth! You’ve made it easier for everyone and those sermons are worth their weight in gold.
Thank you so much, Elizabeth! You are a jewel and have blessed me tonight. I’m afraid I’m not very computer savvy.
Elizabeth, this REALLY helps me. Thanks so much! I am downloading them onto a folder in my computer so my husband can listen too while he is working. 🙂
Kim, thank you for doing this, I needed them organized for me!
I would say you’re welcome but the credit goes to Elizabeth. 🙂
9. THREE WAYS
A. THE WAY OF IGNORING AND REBELLING AGAINST GOD
Dee’s story—Violet did not trust God to provide what she needed, so she took matters into her own hands and stole;
My life—When we lived nearby, I dreaded spending time with my in laws, rather than trust God to protect me, and submitting to my husband’s wishes, I would manipulate the situation so we never stayed longer than I wanted, even using sickness as an excuse at times.
Prodigal Son-the younger son wanted his stuff, not the Father and left. The older son cared about prestige, not the Father’s heart.
B. THE WAY OF TRUSTING IN YOUR OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS AND MORALITY
Dee’s story—Violet thinks that she needs to get her life sorted out before she can leave her boyfriend, not trusting in God to provide and protect, she’s trusting in her own strength.
My life-I have placed my worth in being “really good”—following the rules, being a good wife, mom, student…and I can remember as a young child honestly believing my parents should have loved me more than my rebellious sister because, I was after all “so good”. I judged everyone who didn’t “follow the rules”, including my dad for his alcoholism. Even as a quiet, insecure child, I had an inner pride that I was better.
Prodigal Son-the older son believes he deserves more because of his righteous, religious deeds, he thinks this is what has earned him favor.
C. THE WAY OF THE GOSPEL
Dee’s story-the Gospel put Dee and Violet on common ground. Both in need of the Savior’s loving grace.
My life-The Gospel opens my eyes to the sin behind my “goodness”—I have still been trying to be a good Christian, rather than fall on my knees before Him as the only way, the Only Savior.
Prodigal Son-both sons are lost, but the younger son humbles himself and is saved. The older son remains lost—not despite his goodness, but because of it.
I found this on Redeemer’s site-The Centrality of the Gospel article : http://download.redeemer.com/pdf/learn/resources/Centrality_of_the_Gospel-Keller.pdf
“So the gospel is not that we go from being irreligious to being
religious, but that we realize that our reasons for both our religiosity and our
irreligiosity were essentially the same and essentially wrong. We were seeking to be
our own Saviors and thereby keep control of our own life. When we trust in Christ as
our Redeemer, we turn from trusting either self-determination or self-denial for our
salvation–from either moralism or hedonism.”
This is so good. I was reading it and kept thinking-hmmm this sounds like Keller. Then I read the top and it was Keller! haha (a blond moment)
I like this:
We have seen that the gospel is the way that anything is renewed and transformed by Christ–whether a heart, a relationship, a church, or a community. It is the key to all doctrine and our view of our lives in this world. Therefore, all our problems come from a lack of orientation to the gospel. Put positively, the gospel transforms our hearts and
thinking and approaches to absolutely everything.
THIS IS GOOD NEWS!
Elizabeth — thanks for these thoughtful honest answers — your honesty is refreshing, though I know it must be painful, but how very good. Thank you. When a friend is honest, it spreads like a purifying breeze to all of us.
And since I’m doing a summary lesson next week, I’m going to make the article you posted one of the parts of the homework! Thank you.
The All Of Life Is Repentance one is really good too! (As you can tell, I’m hooked on the site!)
Thank you to everyone for praying.
Ellie posted this on facebook;
today sure makes up for yesterday! dominic got his iv’s taken out, his drain tube in his head taken out, cathedar taken out. He talked alot, even on the phone 🙂 drank water, had pudding, a sponge bath from me and david. nico is a serious trooper even likes his new haircut!
We are texting back and forth and she is overwhelmed by the amouny of grief and trauma she is seeing while in the PICU. The helicopter pad can be seen from the PICU windows, a constant stream of misery and heartache flows through that place.
Chris, I’m so happy Dominic is doing so good! God is so amazing!
What a miracle that this little boy is recovering like this! God His heavenly Father took care of him while his earthly parents couldn’t be there!
Dear Lord,
Thank you for your mercy to Dominic and for the love and forgiveness from his mother to the woman who hit him. I see Your grace and mercy everywhere and thank you.
In Jesus Name
Sermon 2
7. What stands out to you from this sermon and why?
First, I have to say I’ve never heard this parable taught this way before. My first thought after listening was this is hard truth. The one question that keeps going through my mind is ‘what’s your motivation?’
Keller’s contrast between religious people and gospel people is my take-a-way from this sermon. Religious people obey God to get things. Gospel people obey God to get God. His definition helps me see clearly that I am a gospel person.
8. How do you identify with the younger brother? The older son? How can the gospel help you avoid their snares?
For the past year I have been telling (not asking)God that I want a particular thing and I’ve been very specific with the details as to how I want it. February of this year I finally got an answer “Wait for 6 months.” I even went so far to count off the 6 months on my calendar. I know now why I was told to wait. It was so I could see that I was asking for the wrong reasons. Like the younger son I was wanting what I wanted and not caring about how God felt about it. Hearing this sermon last night really put everything in perspective.
I am most like the elder brother when I allow pride to control my motives.
The gospel can help me keep focused on knowing God and wanting what he wants instead of what I want.
Tammy — you put this so succinctly:
Religious people obey God to get things. Gospel people obey God to get God.
Sisters, I had two Aslan sightings today!
Besides the one I mentioned earlier, I wanted to do a project to help me stay organized. I needed 4 specific baskets. They had to be 10 X 10.5 X 11 or smaller and all brown. I went to a craft store thinking I would probably have to settle for smaller ones and sacrifice getting all I wanted to fit in them correctly. The clerk saw me measuring and suggested I look in another area where the baskets never are. She said they just finished moving them and they were on clearance. I got exactly what I hoped for. I paid $20.00 for $100.00 worth of baskets! I then went back and showed the clerk and wished her blessing’s from God for helping me. I left the store thinking God went out of His way to show me His loving care. Who knew God was interested in baskets? 🙂
I didn’t! How sweet!
What a sweet thing for God to do! The shy lover appears…
Just want to share that the Lord is blessing our drought stricken area with much needed rain. There are two wildfires in the area and hopefully the rain will help stop them. I’m normally not up at this hour but I just had to share the news. The rain is a glorious sight.
Praise God, Tammy! I’m up cause I can’t sleep!
Tammy and Susan, This is my quite time from Kendra. I don’t require alot of sleep! Praise God for the rain!
Joyce,
I know you’re a night owl, but I still don’t know how you can do it with your responsibilities during the day!
I hope your back is continuing to improve each day!
Thank you, Susan. It is improving, but very slowly. Kendra needs alot of sleep because of her siezure meds, so she will sleep untill 10am.
SERMON 1: HE KISSED HIM
4. What stands out to you from this sermon?
I listened for the 2nd time this morning. What is standing out to me is that it is the Gospel that gives us the power to resist superiority and to release from liability. That power from within is the Gospel.
5. What 3 aspects of forgiveness did Keller mention?
Forgiveness is: assertive, sacrificial, and powered from within.
He did mention a 4th which was forgiveness leads to resurrection.
6. Does this gospel love melt any of your idols? Does that affect any near sins? If so, explain, and if possible, give a specific example.
The idol it is melting is “Self”, with its lust for power/control. I did also check out that link on Beth Moore’s talk on forgiveness, and she mentioned that we get such a sense of entitlement when we don’t forgive, and how it spurs us on to sin. As in, he did this to me, so I can do this… I have a right to do this…
I caught Keller’s statement that IT IS TO THE DEGREE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THE GOSPEL, and what Jesus has given you, that you’ll be able to release another from liability.
He also said that if you say, “Well, I know I’m a sinner saved by grace” – you may know it in your head but you don’t know it in your heart, or you couldn’t stay mad.
I have to ask myself the hard question, why am I able to stay mad at my husband, to hold resentment inside? Have I really looked deeply at the Cross? Maybe it’s become ‘too familiar’.
Lord Jesus, would You give me a fresh vision of Your sacrifice on the Cross for me? Forgive me for letting it become a story I’ve heard so many times before that I’ve taken it for granted.
Near sins… when I’m angry at my husband for him saying or doing something that hurts me, I’ll often buy something, spending money to feed my idol of comfort, and feeling justified in doing it. I will also withhold from him even a smile, a tender look or touch. I turn into the ice queen.
Keller taught in another sermon that all of life is repentance and faith, this combustion cycle needs to be going if we are to grow. So I believe the answer for me is to go back to the basics, the Gospel. Go back to the Cross. Repent of my unforgiveness, then take steps of faith, making myself vulnerable to my husband and doing what is for his good, not what undermines him.
Such good and thoughtful answers.
I love that combustion cycle picture too.
This is from the Mom whose house Domenic was visiting when he was hit, Wil is her son, Domenics good friend, Bill is here husband, he is a paramedic & firefighter.
“We want to thank you all for prayers for our Will’s best friend, Dominic who was hit by a truck while riding bikes with Will yesterday in front of our home. I know many of you have seen Christina Swan’s post yesterday and have been praying…THANK YOU!!! Here is an update from us as well…
“Hi faithful friends in prayer…I could not love you all anymore than I do right now. Thank you does not seem like enough to say..please know from the bottom of my heart how much your texts, calls, facebook notes, prayers, love and support has meant to me (to all of us). We were at the hospital until late last night and went back up did go up to Metro this morning. We were greeted with hugs and kisses from Dominic’s parents who had just been able to fly in from Florida early this morning. They were exhausted and overwhelmed, but so thankful that Dominic is still with us and doing so well. They were so kind and loving to Bill and I …cried on our shoulders as they thanked us for loving Dominic and being there with him and for Bill’s excellent care. We all cried and rejoiced together. Bill was with him seconds after it happened until life flight took over, even gave him the ivs. The surgery went extremely well last night and relieved the swelling from his brain. He has fractures around his eye..the orbital socket, but it is too swollen for the dr’s to do anything yet. We were able to be in the p-icu with his parents today for awhile. Dominic woke up, looked out of his good eye and smiled right at Will…it was a priceless moment..a gift from God. Will said “Hi Dominic!” and Dominic said, “Hi Will!” then went bcak to sleep. He wasn’t up for a lot of conversation for him right then..they had been keeping him up all night to monitor him. We took turns out in the family waiting room area with Dominics family. Ellie (his mom) came back and fourth to tell us things. They had given him Morphiene for the pain and he was going to be sleeping for awhile so we left later on. After we got home tonight a woman who had stopped to help yesterday came to check on us..very sweet. We have gotten messages from Anna that Dominic is now sitting up, talking, ate pudding and drank water, is laughing and being his usual fun self!!! He passed a hearing test with flying colors and was even able to stand for a few minutes. The good reports keep coming!! We are so excited!! God is so good!! We have seen over and over again how God protected Dominic and Will and provided for them in special ways….from Bill being home early yesterday to the fact that the driver was going slow, is a christian and knew all of us, to Bill telling the disbatcher to get life flight before the ambulance even got here, for strangers and neighbors that stopped to help, for one of Bill’s best friends from MFD driving here from home to help, to Dominic being a tough little guy, no broken neck…answered prayers, again and again. A group of us gathered in the waiting room last night to pray as Dominic headed into surgery…God answered those prayers!! “To him who is able to do more than we can ask or imagine…”
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers. If all continues to go well Dominic might be able to go to a step down unit in a day or so. Please continue to pray for Will, he is doing better today knowing Dominic is doing better…but is having a hard time with images from yesterday. He did not sleep much at all night and woke up crying with nightmares when he did fall asleep. He is having a hard time being at home…around the front yard, having many worries…he is traumatized and needs time to heal. He had to talk to three sheriffs and state troopers yesterday and relive the moment of the crash many times. We love Dominic and he is very much a part of our family. Pray also for the woman who hit Dominic . SHe went to the hospital tonight to be with the family. Pray for healing for all involved. Thank you again for all your prayers..we all felt them in a big way today. I love you all, Bec .”
I am so grateful that Domenic is doing well.
Will is an extremely spiritually sensitive boy, perhaps God will use this to form him into who he wants him to become.
I confess to struggling with the God is good line. He is good even when the answers to prayer don’t come.
Chris,
Thanks so much for these updates! It helps to know how to pray.
Chris, Praise God! I will continue to pray for all of them
7. What stands out to you from this sermon and why?
* What stands out is how Jesus redefines God, sin and salvation. He was speaking to the Pharisees and their view of God was not as a Father-longing for their love, loving, suffering… They didn’t see his maternal side either-him running to the younger son-men didn’t do that in that time, only children and women.
Also, the sin as not being just repenting from your sins but repenting from the goodness or moral conformity. One son was very good the other very bad but they were both the same-they both used God to get what they loved. One of them did it by being good the other by being bad. GREAT insight!
8. How you do identify with the younger son? The older son? How can the gospel help you avoid their snares?
I can’t help but see this parable as the getting in part of the Gospel, but this can speak to us as believers too.
I really need to think more on this question but what comes to mind is that while I am sure I am like the younger son, what has hit me is the change God is doing in my heart these past three years in regard to the older son. In my case it is in regard to my motives in serving at church. Doing good to get I guess you could say if you want to relate it to this sermon. I would rather not serve at all if my motives are anything other than worshiping the Lord with all that I am. So over the years God has been exposing my motives. He has given me red flags.
When we visited a new church, the first thing I thought was..I need to see if I can jump in and serve singing or teaching children because how are people going to get to know me? That thought felt like a razor searing my heart..I felt like I had a temporary affair and like I was going to use God in serving Him! It was a ‘doing good’ in order to get mentality. YUK! I think we have to be careful in our churches of a hierarchy we have set up-it is like a clique or popularity thing. I think that has to be a nasty taste in God’s mouth.
I guess what has helped me to change IS the Gospel. I reflect back on Jesus’ love for me, the price He paid for me. All He wants is for me to love Him back-to repent and turn because I love Him -loving Him means His grief over it literally breaks my heart. How can I serve at church as a means of ‘defining’ me or obtaining accolades among my brothers and sisters while looking at the cross.
Yes, I agree. I’ve been so blessed that she wants to be with me! She is coming to my cottage in September and already has made her air reservations. I am going to share with her your comments, for I know they will bless her. She is a steady calm lovely woman — as are you!
http://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel
I was blessed by this skit. thought some of you might like it to.
Cute, and so true!
I’ve listened to two of the other Luke 15 sermons so far–so good! I really liked “The True Older Brother” . I listened and thought how many ways I have been, and still can tend to be, an older brother…the attitude of “I’m a good mom, wife, student…therefore I have value”. But I think the hidden blessing in listening to these sermons for me, is that I am reminded of the lostness of the older son and I have compassion for the younger sons in my life as well as seeing how my desire to be that broken, humble child at the feet of her Abba has grown.
The Prodigal Son story is monumental in my life– I can remember hearing it so many times as a child, focusing on the badness of the younger son and my ears were deaf to the lostness of the older son–I just identified with him, almost with pride because I thought he was, after all, the good one! Over time God has used this parable several times in my life but it had been years since I had studied it like this, and it was time–I see the new applications to parts of my life I hadn’t before now–I have been the elder son to my Dad, my husband, my children…so many times I am critical, judging, jealous…
WOW–just now, out of no-where (but Him)…my mind just started singing..oh How He Love You, Oh How He Loves Me…Oh How He love You and Me…haven’t heard that in so long, but I guess He wanted me to just now!
SERMON 1: HE KISSED HIM
4. What stands out to you from this sermon?
I listened to this 3 times
It is always my job to go and make it right, if I have sinned or have been sinned against- I am the one who needs to go
The extravagant love of the Father, Jesus most frequent emotion was compassion, while I was Christ’s enemy; He died for me absorbing my debt
When Christ kisses me, it will make all of my pain seem small and insignificant
I want a life in which I am moved from the depth of my being in love
I must not allow myself to feel superior to others, I am no better
I must release others from liability, forgiving others as Christ has forgiven me
5. What three aspects of forgiveness did Keller mention?
1. Assertive-forgiveness is given aggressively, without the condition of repentance
2. Sacrificial-The Father gave up financial potential & social status, running to the son, no attempt to restore his reputation, absorbing the debt , filled with compassion, taking the emotional risk of being hurt again
3. Is powered from within & leads to a resurrection
Forgiveness releases from painful past hurts, setting free by the power of the Gospel, releasing power
Not sure why this posted here..Will post it below..
I’ve been listening to the Keller tapes, then just for a minute I turned on TV (big mistake!) for the weather and heard the story of Hugh Hefner’s engaement break- up. Who cares, but here is a perfect example of the rich and famous. I wonder if Hugh even knows the Lord. Then there are people like, Karla Faye Tucker, who had nothing here on earth for possions, but everything in her heart for the Lord and all his blessings! I would choose to be Karla anyday and have the Lord in my heart, than to have all the money and fame in the world and not know Jesus.
Joyce
I heard a few years ago Hugh Hefner was raised in a religious home. Not sure if his parents were Christians but they attended a Baptist church. Can’t remember why Hugh turned his back on God.
For some reason my posts keep going up in funny places–before previous posts–not sure what I’ve done to cause that–but sorry for any confusion!
10.
Recognize his position in Christ—perfect as Jesus, seated with Him. All that He has is ours, saved by grace. The Father wants to give more than we could ask or imagine—and it is all His to give.
11.
The way UP is DOWN—humility and repentance ; Ask the WHY behind all the good things I do—this reveals my heart, my motivation. If it is not all for Him, and not myself—then I am lost. Remember I am a sinner saved by grace, take pride only in what He has done for me.
12.
I identify with both at times—but in both situations it this instruction reminds me the Gospel changes my identity. Nothing I desire compares to
Him. There is no desire more beautiful, more worthy of my affection, than Christ.
13. Aslan on the move:
My relationship with my daughter has completely flipped upside down, in a good way! That is PURELY of Him. Forgiving some pain of the past, has freed me in ways I didn’t think possible. I know we will always have rough patches because we are wired 100% differently! But the rejection I felt is gone—ice that the Son melted and dried up—no residue! Also with my Dad—still melting—but a new thought was how I was an older son to him, and I never had seen that before. It helped me own that sin in me, and feel more compassion than I have in that (past) relationship.
14. If you listened to any of the other Keller sermons on the prodigal sons, share your gleanings here.
Oops—guess I already gave that on another post above, but I really enjoyed “The True Older Brother”, and “He Welcomes Sinners”.
“Forgiving some pain of the past, has freed me in ways I didn’t think possible.” This is great news! Elizabeth. I am experiencing the same.
7. This leaped out to me from the 2nd sermon: “Christians repent of what they did wrong but also repent of the reasons they did right.” Does this not take us to a whole new level?
Another thing that stood out reminds me of an essay I read a few months ago by a doctor who just could not forgive God for allowing his grandmother to die. In his residency he noticed one Christian patient who was a quadriplegic due to an accident but always had a sweet disposition but every other Christian patient he had turned out to be nasty and demanding. I think after listening to this sermon I understand it and see it in my own heart. It is the older brother who has worked hard to do right and deserves so much better than he is getting is bitter toward God. And I think his difficult residency revealed to him the older brother in his own heart.
8. I related to the younger son in my 20’s and now since I came back to God I tend to be more like the older son. The reason I know this is because I have a bitter and irritable heart. That seems to be a sign of an older brother. When I understand the father’s love and the true older brother’s sacrifice I obey out of love and a changed heart. I see that it is love that changes people. Faith in the gospel changes people it is true but if they don’t grow they can end up 3 times worse than they were before salvation. It seems to me that true and lasting change is the result of living in response to the love lavished on us in the gospel. In that interview of Rich Mullins by Sheila Walsh she quoted Brennan Manning saying that he thinks the first thing God will say to him when he gets to heaven is “Did you really believe how much I love you?” That really spoke to me.
I can avoid an older son heart by remembering that He loves me not because I am good but because I am me. Another thing that was said in that interview is that God is probably like a parent who put ugly pictures that their child drew on display with pride. We don’t have to have great works for Him to love us and rejoice in our faltering steps.
” he thinks the first thing God will say to him when he gets to heaven is “Did you really believe how much I love you?” That really spoke to me.
I can avoid an older son heart by remembering that He loves me not because I am good but because I am me. Another thing that was said in that interview is that God is probably like a parent who put ugly pictures that their child drew on display with pride. We don’t have to have great works for Him to love us and rejoice in our faltering steps.”
This was helpful to me Anne.
I know in my head that Christ loves me, but I do not REALLY believe it. I have emphasized Christ’s act of obedience in going to the cross, and deemphasized all the passages that speak of his love. I feel like such damaged goods.
Oh Chris, I know that you are precious to Him beyond all measure. Remember that in God’s economy down is up. Rich Mullins said another thing that comes to my mind right now when you said that you feel like damaged goods. I hope I can tell it right because it is powerful. He said that he always wanted to be used by God but came to a revelation about that. God used Nebuchadnezzar and before him the Assyrian king to judge his people. Judas was also used by God. He named some that I don’t remember but I think this illustrates the principle. He said he finally came to the place where he realized that to be used by God was no great thing because He can use anybody. He said the really great thing is to be WITH God and to bask in His love.
I struggle as you do I think. At least I can relate to my understanding of what you have said. I think the key thing for me is to let go of my expectations of what it takes to be a great Christian and just be a child, loved in my Father’s house.
Chris, I know what it’s like to feel damaged and not realize how huge, awesome and never-ending His love for us is! I will keep you in my prayers. From what you wrote I sense that you and I struggle in some of the same ways.
Love in Christ, Tracy
Thank you Anne and Tracy,
I have seen from both your study responses numerous times thoughts & struggles I relate to.
I have always struggled to accept the love of God, I struggle to believe in my husbands love, even sometimes that my friends really like me or enjoy my company.
I have thought alot about this self debasment as a form of self obsession, but I don’t know. Sometimes I try to make everything all my fault, then I can be in control & I can fix it.
I wonder if the younger brother truly abandoned his planned efforts to repay the Father so quickly.
Susan
Just want to let you know I have dug out my notes from the study and plan to share some of my gleanings with you tomorrow. I was going to try to begin today but I went out of town to visit a friend and got back later than planned. I showed her the blog and she signed up to receive it.
Everyone, my friend is originally from Alabama and her family home was hit by the tornadoes that went through the state back in April. I saw pictures of her childhood home and how the tornado damaged it. The home was punctured by a tree not five feet from my where my friends parents were standing. They were in the home when the tornado struck. They had no warning. God protected them and many others that day. The community is on a mountain and many of the residents live in mobile homes. I heard stories of how people were in their homes when the tornado blew the homes away and the people inside the homes were not injured. It’s hard to look at pictures of people standing in front of what used to be their homes. But then she shared how Christian ministries have reached out to the people. Gospel love in action. Precept Ministries built her uncle a new home. Not a very big one just 30 x 30 but it’s big enough for him. That’s the kind of things I wish the news would report.
My Aslan sighting today was when my friend’s five year old son crawled into my lap without any prompting and cuddled with me. Her four year old daughter told me she liked my hair. Precious.
I’m glad you had a precious time with your friend!
oops..For some reason sometimes when I post on the bottom it ends up in the middle. 🙂
mine too!
Going to try again to get this to post on the bottom.
THREE WAYS
9. KELLER OFTEN TALKS ABOUT THREE WAYS:
A. THE WAY OF IGNORING AND REBELLING AGAINST GOD (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
1. Dee’s initial struggle of not being able to really forgive Violet.
2. Violet was in rebellion by virtue of running from God. Her mom was a believer-she had been exposed to the Gospel, yet was saying no. In the process of that rebellion she stole from others and hurt others.
3. For me, I was very slow to forgive my husband. I forgot to add in my story in regard to this, that he had asked for forgiveness and really meant it in the past. I said I did in my head, but my heart was far from it. Going to Leslie Vernick’s site helped me to determine if any of this was abusive toward me in the past. I found out it was far from abusive or destructive. So really it was me rebelling against God. Looking into the Gospel has totally changed this for me in truly forgiving my husband. He has opened my eyes.
4. The younger son rebelled and ignored God by taking his inheritance and squandering it. The older son did so by not taking up his invitation to join in on the celebration, but I think their rebellion started long before their near sins. Their father wasn’t like the others. He wasn’t hard and unkind. He had a nurturing aspect to him as well. There was no reason for his sons to rebel, as a matter of fact there was every reason for them to fall at his feet and love him.
Elizabeth says:
June 16, 2011 at 2:49 pm
For some reason my posts keep going up in funny places–before previous posts–not sure what I’ve done to cause that–but sorry for any confusion!
10.
Recognize his position in Christ—perfect as Jesus, seated with Him. All that He has is ours, saved by grace. The Father wants to give more than we could ask or imagine—and it is all His to give.
11.
The way UP is DOWN—humility and repentance ; Ask the WHY behind all the good things I do—this reveals my heart, my motivation. If it is not all for Him, and not myself—then I am lost. Remember I am a sinner saved by grace, take pride only in what He has done for me.
12.
I identify with both at times—but in both situations it this instruction reminds me the Gospel changes my identity. Nothing I desire compares to
Him. There is no desire more beautiful, more worthy of my affection, than Christ.
13. Aslan on the move:
My relationship with my daughter has completely flipped upside down, in a good way! That is PURELY of Him. Forgiving some pain of the past, has freed me in ways I didn’t think possible. I know we will always have rough patches because we are wired 100% differently! But the rejection I felt is gone—ice that the Son melted and dried up—no residue! Also with my Dad—still melting—but a new thought was how I was an older son to him, and I never had seen that before. It helped me own that sin in me, and feel more compassion than I have in that (past) relationship.
14. If you listened to any of the other Keller sermons on the prodigal sons, share your gleanings here.
Oops—guess I already gave that on another post above, but I really enjoyed “The True Older Brother”, and “He Welcomes Sinners”.
Elizabeth, So glad to hear about your Aslan on the move! I read it yesterday but didn’t have a chance to respond!
I am so glad to know that things are better in your relationship with your daughter!
I will ask my website manager why the posts are appearing in strange places! I’m sorry. We are both on the road this weekend, so be patient with us, but we’ll try to get it fixed.
B. THE WAY OF TRUSTING IN YOUR OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS AND MORALITY (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
1. I think the older son in the prodigal son story trusted in his righteousness and morality all his life and it came out in the open when he was really put to the test with his brother’s repentance.
2. Maybe with Dee it was reflected in the dawning of the realization violet really did steal her jewelry and the response thereafter with refusing to really forgive. With Violet she thought she had a ‘right’ to Dee’s and others’ jewelry. She felt she was owed that somehow. It is so easy to forget the truth about ours and others human condition and then focus on the truth about the Gospel. When we are sinned against we forget our own condition and how naked we are before God. How it was all Him and nothing we did to obtain His righteousness. Violet’s stealing is no different in God’s eyes as Dee’s unforgiveness. It’s Hard to fathom though that God would see Dee’s unforgiveness as just as bad as Violet’s stealing because I mean those were Steve’s gifts to Dee, so for me I would give her a lot of slack here-Of course Violet didn’t know the Lord so-there you go.
3. Oh my, I can’t think of any…WAIT, I do have something. You know, what is funny is my self righteousness didn’t happen until after I came to know the Lord. Hmmmm…I mean, my mind drew a blank here but God brought to mind something I did a long time ago. As you know God protected me by bringing godly women into my life to disciple me after I came to know Him, I mean if I would have been able to go to college to study to be a bible teacher I would have. Yet, my girlfriends in my circles at church weren’t interested in this. So, I had a lot of time in the word and in verse memory. My desire turned into a critical attitude of, “Why don’t they memorize? Why don’t they really seek the things of God? Why do they not desire to bring others to know the Lord?” YUK!!! God has shown me different now, but that whole self righteous attitude based on MY DISCIPLINES was ugly. God set me straight over the years!
C. THE WAY OF THE GOSPEL (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
1. Oh my..Dee’s story totally illuminates this in her turning from her sin, having Violet over and confessing to Violet her hurt, her lack of forgiveness, and then forgiving her. Dee looked at the Gospel and was able to forgive. God gave her the power to. God was working on Violet’s heart at the same time. She saw the Gospel in Dee and saw it in the painting Dee used to clarify with her the Gospel and how it relates to their story-when Violet looked at the gospel she too repented and asked for forgiveness.
2. I think my recent example, mentioned above with forgiveness is a picture of this.
3. The younger son accepted the Father’s forgiveness. He didn’t turn away and say, “no, I must pay for it. Please let me pay you back!” He just went to him and fell in his arms and accepted his unmerited love.” When the Father tried to get the older son to come to him he refused to look at the Gospel.
This posted in the wrong spot
Again..in the wrong spot!
7. What stands out to you from this sermon and why?
The Father endures rejected love
The younger son doesn’t return until he comes up with a plan to repay his debt
The older brother felt that the 2/3 of the Fathers estate that remained BELONGED to him, the Father owed it to him, certainly none of it belonged to his younger brother
Sin redefined, each son used the Father to get what they really loved
The older son was lost because of his goodness; his pride separated him from the Father
The humble are IN…those who know that they are neither good or open minded who know they need sheer grace.
I can be trying not to need Christ by being moral-by saving myself through my good behavior, self justifying
Why am I seeking to obey? Out of love and gratitude? Or out of superiority?
The gospel is as offensive to religious people as it is to blatant sinners, I think maybe moreso
I need to be melted and moved by what it cost to bring me home
I have an elder brother who was willing to bear loss and shame to bring me home to the Father
Read James 1:9-11
10. What is the poor man, or the lowly brother, to remember about the gospel? How could this help him in times of temptation?
The poor man can remember the gospel has placed him in the heavenly places. All of God is available to him. When the poor man is tempted to have a pity party because he thinks no one cares about him and his adversity, he can comfort himself with the words of Ps.91:2, “I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress; In Him will I put my trust.” The poor man can also comfort himself with the words found in Hebrew 13:5, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
11. What is the rich man to remember about the gospel? How could this help him in times of temptation?
The rich man can remember the gospel tells him he cannot buy his way into heaven. When he is tempted to take pride in the work of his hands that has produced the wealth in the bank, he needs to go back to the Gospel and read about what happened to the man who built barns and stored his goods for selfish reasons. Death came the day he finished all that work and began resting on his laurels.
12. With which man do you identify? How could this instruction from James about the gospel help you?
I can identify with both men. Like the poor man I have no resources. The only asset I have is my car and I live (now) saving for my expenses before they are due. I know God is the only one I can depend on for anything. Like the rich man I have lived thinking I need only money to solve all my problems. I am learning my character is my wealth.
The words of James can help me remember that this world is temporary and one day my time to leave will come. When that day comes everything I see will cease to be for me. As I wait for that day I need to continue living out the gospel for that is the greatest purpose of my life.
Tammy, I really like this comment from you: “I am learning my character is my wealth.” That is rich.
Good morning,
The Lord showed me something a couple of days ago that really helped me walk in forgiveness. When the person or hurt comes to mind, say out loud (if possible) I choose to forgive__________ and bless___________. This has been a powerful tool in helping me overcome. I also have a river of peace flowing deep down that assures me I have truly forgiven her. I have not had that before.
I noticed the need for my idol comfort has diminished greatly. The food at one time would call my name so long and loud I would give in just for quiet sake. Now temptation doesn’t seem to “have me”. I praise God for progress.
That’s great news, Kim! And that does seem like it would be helpful in forgiving; to say out loud, “I choose to forgive….and bless……” Maybe even praying for that person on the spot, too.
My wonderful website manager fixed things — so sorry! I learned I cannot delete comments but must over-ride them, so I was the one who caused the trouble. I’m still learning, so thanks for your patience. I also like the wider space he gave us to write!
Thank you to Dee’s website manager! I’m sure we keep you quite busy 😉
Elizabeth, where is the ‘like’ button. 🙂
sorry:(
Not you Cyndi! It was my mistake — and we are all loving the wider space, so if you want to take ownership we all thank you! 🙂
Yes, LOVE the wider space!
I have listened to most of the Keller sermons. So good.
My aslan sighting is a little different. It is not in me but in my husband that I am seeing Him move. I have had a lot of stomach pain in the last 24hr., prob. from stress, but he has been looking my symptoms up on the internet and is very worried that it is my gallbladder. This just makes me laugh because usually if I am sick he gets upset with me in his heart. he tries to act like you “should” when someone is sick but usually He has a hard time believing that I am really sick, or as bad as I say I am. this comes from the fact that his mom is ALWAYS complaining of some ailment or another as soon as his dad wants her to do anything so his heart is conditioned to feel manipulated.
For Paul to REALLY be very concerned and compationate shows that he is letting God change his heart.
thank you for your prayers. God is doing a healing work in both of our hearts.
still praying for you both–and that He will use all this for His glory–and that you’ll feel better soon!
Susan
The name of the study I referenced when I mentioned generational sin is ‘REWRITING YOUR EMOTIONAL SCRIPT Erasing Old Messages, Embrace New Attitudes’ by Becky Harling. I believe it would beneficial for you to have the book and read through before tackling generational sin. I found the study to be a progressive journey toward healing. It’s progressive because it’s a “takes a lifetime” journey. I’m going to give you the chapter titles, definition of emotional script and a sampling of the questions concerning generational sin with my answers as a guide. I purchased my copy from cbd.com.
CHAPTER TITLES
1. This Wasn’t Supposed to Be My Story!
2. Become Desperate and Determined for Help
“Blessed are the poor in spirit.” (Matthew 5:3)
3. Grieve Your Losses
“Blessed are those who mourn.” (Matthew 5:4)
4. Let Go of Control
“Blessed are the meek.” (Matthew 5:5)
5. Set Your Appetite on God
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.” (Matthew 5:6)
6. Extend Mercy
“Blessed are the merciful.” (Matthew 5:7)
7. Uproot Generational Sin
“Blessed are the pure in heart.” (Matthew 5:8)
8. Forgive Your Offenders
“Blessed are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:9)
9. Rewrite Your Definition of Joy
“Blessed are those who are persecuted.” (Matthew 5:10)
10. Leave a Godly Legacy
“You are the salt of the earth.” (Matthew 5:13)
Definition of emotional script-the lens through which each of us views life.
Notes:
Each of us is born with a unique, God-given personality that forms the basis of our emotional script. The thought patterns and attitudes that flow out of our scripts often dictate our responses and reactions. However, as we grow up, OUR ORIGINAL, GOD-GIVEN EMOTIONAL SCRIPTS ARE OFTEN WARPED BY THE MESSAGES THAT OUR EXPERIENCES, OUR CIRCUMSTANCES, AND THE VOICES OF SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE WROTE ON OUR HEARTS. THESE SCRIPTS BECOME THE SCREENPLAYS FOR OUR LIVES, DICTATING OUR RESPONSES AND REACTIONS. Some of those messages are true, some are false. The problem is that as children we do not have the capability to edit those messages, so we absorb them ALL as truth. As a result, our emotional scripts are skewed.
GENERATIONAL SIN
Generational sin is a sinful pattern that is passed down from one generation to the next.
Author M. Scott Peck wrote, “To come to terms with evil in one’s parentage is perhaps the most difficult and painful psychological task a human being can be called on to face. Most fail and so remain its victims.”
To live a pure life and to leave a godly legacy, we must break all ties with generational sins in our family trees.
Here are the questions I answered when I examined my family tree?
1. What are the secrets of my family tree?
My grandmother (my mother’s mother) was allowed to marry an eighteen year old man when she just 12 years old. I always wondered how that was possible and found the answer a couple of years ago when I came across their marriage certificate as I was cleaning out her home after she became a nursing home resident. She and my grandfather had lied about their ages when they got married. This happened in 1935. It wasn’t until after they married that she found out he was a violent man. She told me before she got dementia that he changed a few years before he died. (They were married for almost 15 years) It is my hope that my grandfather is in heaven. My mother has memories of him taking her and her sister to church and playing his guitar and singing.
Questions you may want to carefully ask your parents or grandparents:
Has anyone in our family struggled with addictions? (Addictions are tricky. They have a genetic component but usually start with sinful choices)
Has there ever been a suicide or suicidal attempt in our family? (Suicide and suicidal attempts are extremely generational)
Is anyone in our family not speaking to or cut off from anyone else in the family? If so, why?
Have there been any unwanted pregnancies or abortions?
Has anyone in our family practiced witchcraft or been involved in the occult?
2. Are there any shameful ways in my family?
I found out through generational research on my biological father’s side that I am descended from an owner of slaves. This has given me insight as to why I saw my family and friends as my possessions and not people.
I also understand there is a medium in my family on my mother’s side.
3. Are there patterns of deception in my family tree?
Finding my birth certificate in an old family trunk was how I discovered my Daddy was not my biological father. I had been lied to for ten years.
4. Has my family distorted the truth found in God’s Word?
I remember my mother telling me a particular sin was okay to do even though in my heart I knew it was wrong because I had heard God’s truth preached.
After you have answered these questions the next step is to examine yourself.
The goal of self-examination if to figure out which sinful patterns you have inherited. To do this, get alone with God and bring the list that you have compiled from asking the questions above. Ask the Holy Spirit to direct you as you do some soul searching. After you ask for the Spirit to search you ask yourself these questions:
Do I engage in any of the secretive behavior I saw in my family history or any other secretive behavior or self-destructive behavior?
Am I feeling ashamed or guilty? If so, for what?
Do I twist or exaggerate the truth or withhold information in an effort to cover up the truth? Am I honest when filing out my income tax forms? Do I faithfully file to pay taxes?
Have I lied to any of my children when asked about my sexual activity before I was married?
Susan this is just a sampling from just one chapter in this book. Like I stated earlier it would be beneficial for you to have a copy in your personal library.
Thanks for asking for my help. You are a treasure.
Tammy,
Thank you so much for going in-depth and giving me this information. Just right off the bat,
a pattern that is being repeated in my life is happening in my marriage.
My parents argued and bickered all the time, and lived alot of their marriage independently of one
another. I don’t remember any physical abuse, or extreme screaming or throwing things, but
sarcasm, put-downs, arguing, disagreeing. Now that they’re in their 80’s, they’ve mellowed alot.
But my husband and I just don’t get along very well, and the things I used to cringe at between my
parents, I see going on in my home now.
Interesting about suicide; I know my maternal grandpa had a sister who killed herself.
I have one sister who often says she is going to kill herself. She is the one who lost her son; but this threatening to kill herself was occuring even before he died.
This book you studied seems to go pretty deep and I am glad it helped you in healing.
I just may get a copy of it for myself…did you do this by yourself, or in a group study?
Susan
I participated in this study online via Midday Connection in 2009. Like I said get a copy. At the end of each chapter she has written prayers from scripture for each topic I listed. And at the end of the study she has you writing a letter to your self to be read on your 60th birthday. Glad the info I gave you helped.
This is great Tammy! Thanks so much.
When my daughter got her Masters in counseling at Wheaton they all had to write their emotional script looking back at generational sin. It was eye opening!
Thanks again.
Dee, you said to ponder, underline and see what we liked or did not like in your story of Violet. I’ve been thinking alot about the story all week and only one little thing stood out to me that I would like your opinion on, as you said you were going to use it in your book.
Towards the end of the story, you said, “I pray the gospel will keep melting Violet’s idol of security so that she can break with her boyfriend.” I know her boyfriend is/was not good for her. I don’t know if they are still together, but shouldn’t we pray for him also, same as Violet. He does sound like he is not good for her, we should pray for his salvation also tho, and that they would marry, if they are still together.
I honestly don’t know if I could forgive her with my heart, like you did. That took alot of hard forgiveness, melting from an icy heart to a warm heart. I admire you so much, Dee, you are my mentor and “Did I ever tell you, YOU are my HERO?” Love you, Joyce
Joyce — you are such a mercy and I am such a prophet — there are times when those gifts collide, but it proves we need each other in the body of Christ. You are right — we should pray for him.
I do think that Violet should move out, separate, until he comes to faith, shows the fruit of maturity, and then not go back unless it is marriage. But you are right about compassion and prayer. Thank you for that good thought and balance!
Dee, I totally agree with your counsel here. I was thinking the same way. I love how you love others in your communication. I have to agree also that Joyce is such a sweet vessel of mercy. Love just exudes out of her onto others. I so appreciate her.
What is a prophet gift? I have a dear friend who has that and she has mentioned how she struggles sometimes with mercy because of it. I often wondered if I had it but not sure.
My understanding is that it is one of discernment, of forthtelling (not foretelling) the Word of God. The dark side is that a prophet always sees the thing that is wrong and wants it out. A mercy empathizes, seeing why a person might be IMPOSSIBLE (that’s my prophet coming out :_) )
That is a great contrast-comparison. I do see this in my friend.
I used to think spiritual gift testing was silly. I think you can know without it, but I do think it is good to know what our gifts are so that we can be aware of the dark sides as well and give those to the Lord to chisel at.
I took it when I first came to know the Lord back in the early 90’s and then again last year. I don’t recall seeing prophet as one of the gifts on the tests I took, but what was funny is that when I took it the first time mine turned out to be Exhortation first, teaching second. Then when I did it last year it turned out Pastor Shepherd first haha! I am SO NOT a pastor/shepherd type. 😉
Dee, do you think it might be profitable for us to study this? Maybe in the fall? I think that my gifting has been a source of much turmoil in me. It can be so destructive if not used properly.
I can surely pray about it Anne. I tend to work in the area I’m writing — but I will pray. In any case, I’ll be alert to come good reference material.
There are so many tests and they sometimes define the gifts differently — but I know there are some that are more reliable than others. What have tests shown about you?
I don’t remember. It was a long time ago and I didn’t put much stock in it. Like Rebecca said it did not seem very conclusive and I did not feel it was very accurate. Also I did not get a clear understanding of how the gifts were used properly. I suspect that my gift is prophecy but I don’t understand it very well and it was not even in the inventory that I did. I was told that I should pray for a friend with the gift. One who is using it effectively so that I can see how it is done. I don’t think I have an answer yet.
Please finish up your thoughts and bless Susan, as we will have a new post, and our final post on this path tomorrow. I want to assure you however that the next path will be related!
Susan, I am often in awe of your humility and submissiveness to the Lord — and to your husband. I love how you ponder the Word and cling to it. You could be bitter, back away — but you’ve chosen to press in. I do pray that your children will follow in your steps. You are a sweet fragrance in this group.
Read James 1:9-11
10. What is the poor man, or the lowly brother, to remember about the gospel? How could this help him in times of temptation?
That his riches are in Christ. When he is tempted to strive, or to steal or to become obsessed with money and things, or to grow in hatred of the rich, or to elevate himself above the rich in a prideful manner, he must remember he is clothed in the righteous robes of Christ as the rich brother is. Christ died to set him free from these chains this thinking puts him in. In dust we were made, to dust we return both rich and poor..what we have or don’t have doesn’t define us either way. Christ defines us.
11. What is the rich man to remember about the gospel? How could this help him in times of temptation?
Also that his riches are in Christ. God owns everything he has-Jesus died for him to find his sustenance in Jesus not his riches-Jesus died to take him away from that bondage with a desire that the rich and poor would love Him back and abide in Him not in what they have or don’t have materially.
The rich is not much different than the poor other than it is easier to find his comfort, his sustenance, his satisfaction in what he has. To rest in that rather than in Christ. The test is when it is taken away..Does he hold his riches with an open hand? I heard Rich Mullins say he had his checks sent directly to his church and lived off a meager amount because he didn’t trust himself with his checks. He thinks if he knew how much he made he might hold some back. I don’t know if that is the easier way out or not, but that is how I feel about food. I had to let go of certain things I ate because I don’t trust myself that I won’t indulge in them-find my satisfaction in them rather than running to Jesus in times of stress. It is too much of a temptation to have them around my home. But I can enjoy them at other people’s homes. My new motto now is that if anything entangles me, or hinders me from finding my satisfaction in Jesus then I flee from it..I may or may not come back to it later, but I have to put it in the proper perspective, or in it’s rightful place before I can come back to it.
12. With which man do you identify? How could this instruction from James about the gospel help you?
The rich merely because I live in America. We aren’t considered wealthy but we are being provided for nicely. For me, at this point in my life I would rather be poor. I am kind of like Rich Mullins. To me the things here that we think we have to have are a distraction and a temptation in surrendering all to follow Jesus and in throwing off all that hinders us. (That is the best and shortest way I can put it.)
Susan,
I concur with Dee, you are a sweet fragrance to our group. I have had the privilege of watching your life testimony in action that REALLY challenges me and glorify’s the Lord. You are so teachable and open to His leading. Again I see you as the girl at his feet rubbing his feet with your hair. I feel like a stubborn mule compared to you. 😉 You are lovely and I am so glad you joined this study.
Thank you, Rebecca….. I hate to admit it but one of the things my husband repeatedly says about me is “you’re so stubborn!”
8. How you do identify with the younger son? The older son? How can the gospel help you avoid their snares?
I am like the younger brother when I do not trust that God sees and will care for me when I cry out to him. I need to steal my self worth in worldly accomplishment & the approval of people. I steal my safety and comfort from food & isolation
I am like the older brother when I am proud & when I feel superior to others,. I am better at seeing this in myself than I used to be & it grieves me, but I still do it.
I suppose I have been like the older brother in my pain over Daniel & why this happened to us, but I think God allows this, he gave Job a lot of latitude
THREE WAYS
9. KELLER OFTEN TALKS ABOUT THREE WAYS:
A. THE WAY OF IGNORING AND REBELLING AGAINST GOD
The younger son essentially wished is Father were dead by wanting his property & not his Father. He ignored his Fathers love to pursue things that would bring him shame.
Violet ignored her grateful impulses towards Dee and stole her things, she wanted the money more than an honest relationship & a clean heart, and this brought her shame.
I was very much like the younger brother as a teen. I had accepted Christ when I was very young, but beginning about the age of 12, I became promiscuous, used drugs and said I was an atheist. Becoming pregnant at 16 was a severe mercy for me, these years of living “with the pigs” have brought me shame
B. THE WAY OF TRUSTING IN YOUR OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS AND MORALITY (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
The older son felt entitled to all the Fathers property as the younger brother’s share was already gone. He felt he had earned the rest by following the rules. He felt superior
I can’t make you Dee into the older brother, your initial leanings may have tended in that direction, but you allowed your heart to be softened, to see what’s important in light of eternity. We are all richer for it!
I am like the older brother in that I have been surprised and a little resentful of the way God is using my far less (in my eyes) spiritual (than me) husband since Daniels death. He has become involved in the youth group Daniel attended and is bearing fruit there. I ought to rejoice in this but I really feel mostly apathetic.
I also see through this study that my need for good stewardship of our money has roots of idolatry, because when I think about it I often feel superior to my husband & desperately afraid. I need to do more work on this
9. KELLER OFTEN TALKS ABOUT THREE WAYS:
A. THE WAY OF IGNORING AND REBELLING AGAINST GOD (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
In Dee’s story Violet was in rebellion from God like the younger son in Jesus’ story. From Dee’s description of her behavior it seems that she was taking some sort of drug. The fact that she knew where to sell stolen jewelry indicates that she was in the habit of stealing too. I was just like Violet and the younger son because I met the Lord at a young age and yet came to the point at 18 when I decided there were things more important to me than what God had for me. I decided that I would get them for myself and I think that decision and the years that followed it laid the foundation for the strong idols in my life.
B. THE WAY OF TRUSTING IN YOUR OWN RIGHTEOUSNESS AND MORALITY (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
Violet was definitely trusting in her own righteousness when she felt that she had to get herself ‘right’ before she was able to take that step away from her idol and into the arms of the Lord. Back to the decision I made at 18. In the 10 years following that terrible decision I was miserable. I was like an open wound, all raw and bleeding with nerve endings everywhere, always getting touched and hurt. I tried everything but what I needed was my savior to cover me and bind my wound so that I could heal. But I felt that I could not come to Him in that condition. I had to get “right” first. Even when I came back, it was still me doing good works and not doing a list of things.
C. THE WAY OF THE GOSPEL (GIVE EXAMPLES OF THAT FROM DEE’S STORY, FROM YOUR OWN LIFE, AND FROM THE PRODIGAL SONS STORY)
The way of the gospel is that He provided for our healing at the cross, but our need does not end there. Rather than jumping in and ‘performing’ great works we must allow Him to bind the wounds and begin our healing. Tozer made such an excellent point about how this is not a quick process.
One of the things I love about the painting is the younger son’s head. It is the shape of a baby before birth. I wonder how Rembrandt knew this, with technology being what it was at the time. To me it symbolizes a new start. He died and was reborn. It is my favorite way that down is up. I once had the thought that it would be nice if instead of moving from young to old we could start out old and become younger so we could appreciate it.
In Dee’s story Violet experienced forgiveness through Dee and was drawn straight into Jesus’ arms. If Dee had not been able to forgive Violet would not have been able to take that step I don’t think. But that step was only the first one. She must continue step by step.
Love that about the younger son’s head too —
Update;
From Domenics mom on Facebook;
dominic has just overwhelmed us all. He is recovering so remarkably fast that its hard just keeping up with him.yesterday his right eye opened, and so far his vision seems completely normal. He went for a walk, and did a bit of physical therapy. he is now on regular peds floor till monday, and off to ———— clinic live in brain therapy for anywhere between 2 to 4 weeks.
Seeing her pictures, Domenics injury is on the same side that Daniels was. Reading her updates, have allowed repressed memories and emotions to surface in me, I have wept a lot the past few days. I thought I had laid to rest the questions of why, but they have come back. I went back and read the updates my husband had posted from the hospital, it really has been a nightmare. I have had such a hard time owning my pain. I suppose this is helping me heal, it feels just awful though.
Oh Chris — I hope you will journey on with us when we begin The God of All Comfort. Coming to the Stonecutter study when you are in such pain has been very brave of you.
Thank you Dee, I feel as if I am doing the study poorly, so you words mean a lot. I am so relieved that God of All Comfort is next.
I read the book right when we came home from the hospital, I know the study will help me dig deeper, I am greatful to you for being willing to lay open your struggles and grief, to help others, to help me.
Praying for you Chris.
Chris, Hugs from me! Wish I could hug you in person. I will remember to pray for you today.
Remembering you today in prayer, Chris.
I’m praying for you too Chris.
I’m definitely praying for you, Chris.
Thank you everyone, I am touched that you have taken me into your fold.
I took my sister to the ER yesterday, her sodium levels are dangerously low, she has been ignoring many symptoms, she was admitted for testing.
I had not seen her for awhile, though we talk on the phone regularly. She has lost 50 pounds in the last year w/o trying. She looks very ill. Her name is Marsha, if you feel led could you pray for her?
My prayer life is still really feeble, I am not sure whats holding me back.
Thank you again
I’m praying for Marsha!
Off to Chicago for my daughter Sally’s celebration of her daughter Sadie’s first birthday.
Oh how wonderful! Have a great time! They grow up so fast!!
Have a wonderful time! 🙂
10. The poor man should remember that the gospel is his glory. In it he is lifted up and exalted in the kingdom. When he is tempted to take what he does not have he should remember that in Christ he has great riches. He should come to Him when he has needs.
11. The rich man should be glad when he is humbled because in it he identifies with Christ’s suffering and remembers that this is where his true riches lie. His temptation is to rely on his means rather than living daily in dependence on God.
12. Honestly, I identify with both. While I am rich in every way, I sometimes fear not having what I need in the future. Sad, but I am learning. Another way I identify with the poor man is when I get a glimpse of how poor I am spiritually. The instruction in James helps me to accept what God is doing in my life for truly he both humbles and lifts up. I can rejoice in either.