So often Valentine’s Day and Lent fall in the same week, as they do this year. It almost seems like an oxymoron — should I enjoy my Valentine chocolates or get rid of them?
Here is what is most fascinating. The Reformers and the Puritans were opposed to the practice of Lent! Why? Because then (and sometimes today as well) it was seen as a means to earn favor with God through perpetual penitence, fasts, rituals, and indulgences. It went completely against the truth that had set them free. Rather than deeply refreshing their flock, Lent as observed then, and sometimes now, drained them dry. It was based on a lie, rather than the truth that sets us free.
So, we are going to view Christ through the lens of the Reformers and the Puritans and have a deeply refreshing lent. Subtract something from your life if it is going to give you more time to abide in the Vine, but don’t do it to gain His favor. You already have that!
Did you know that while today The Song of Songs is seen to be primarily a book to help you have a better marriage, that is not at all how the Reformers and Puritans saw it! They saw it as an expression of Christ’s deep and persistent love for them. They didn’t have any problem, as many do today, with God using marriage and the marriage bed to turn the light on to how deeply we are loved.
Do you know what verse helped Luther explain what he had come to believe (that we are saved by grace) to others? It was this one from The Song of Songs:
With the help of Michael Reeves (my favorite preacher, tying with Keller!) we are going to be deeply refreshed by learning what passages transformed men like Luther, Calvin, Jonathan Edwards, Richard Sibbes and more. I will also be quoting from a new book based on the Puritans called Gentle and Lowly. I’d encourage you to get it, but it is optional for this study. Some of you will want it and have the time, others will want to just do the study. If you are in the latter group, you can skip the questions that refer to the book, but I will tell you it is a wonderful book.
There will be less Scripture to cover because I want you to marinate in it until God makes your heart tender with His love. The Puritans were known, as Dane Ortlund says, for taking “one verse and wringing it dry.” (Think Spurgeon!) I do not want Lent to be burdensome! There will be a sermon each week, but if you can concentrate while you walk or drive or multi-task, that’s fine! Then come back and jot down what stood out to you. However, I will tell you that Reeves is so animated, that when it is a video especially, you really may want to sit down and watch. This week’s introductory message is only 13 minutes, and many of you have already seen it because it’s my favorite sermon of all time. 🙂 Reeves graciously let me put it on our DVD that goes into prisons, for the women there need to know this truth so badly. Here it is, along with two other clips many of you have also already seen, but have truths we simply must marinate in!
Michael Reeves: Enjoying Christ Constantly
For those who want to download the homework for whatever reason, here it is. Some of our women are doing this with friends. Remind them to come here to do the opening and have access to videos and pictures.
You’ll need the following link for Wednesday and again Thursday for two different videos on that page.
https://deebrestin.com/hecallsyoubeautiful/
Sunday:
- What stood out to you from the above and why?
Monday: Enjoying Christ Constantly
2. Listen to the message above from Michael Reeves and share your notes.
Tuesday: As A Bridegroom Rejoices Over His Bride
If you think the Puritans were rigid, and not given to the enjoyment of food, laughter, or the marriage bed, you’d be wrong. Even Yale, where Jonathan Edwards had a short presidency before his death, was reluctant to publish some of his “racy” sermons on The Song of Songs. I absolutely love it that the Reformers and the Puritans understood that the Song of Songs was not just about the earthly marriage bed, but about how Christ woos us, wins us, weds us, and yes, ravishes us! Oh, what our world has lost by pouring garbage on the marriage bed. The world, and many Christians as well, cannot even imagine how God might use marriage and the marriage bed, even though He created it, to convey how deeply He cherishes us as His Bride.
3. Isaiah 62:5 says “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.” How does a bridegroom rejoice over his bride? Try to put yourself in the bridegoom’s shoes!
Watch the trailer for He Calls You Beautiful. You will see how profoundly Reeves impacted me!
https://deebrestin.com/hecallsyoubeautiful/
4. How would you describe the main message of The Song of Songs with the help of the above? Any other comments?
Ash Wednesday: Death is The Destiny of Every Man
Ashes are put on the foreheads of many who observe Lent to remind them that from dust they came and from dust they will return. It is important to remember this so that we number our days and apply our hearts to wisdom.
5. Why does Ecclesiastes 7:2 tell us it is good to go into the house of mourning?
I am struck by the difference in tone between Ecclesiastes and The Song of Songs, both attributed to Solomon. In order to fully understand Ecclesiastes, you must realize that for most of the time the writer has blinders on, and views life only “under the sun.” He is like the secular man who does not look up because he doesn’t think anything is there! Solomon knows He is there and looks up occasionally, but even then, nothing of the deep love and grace of God is seen. Ecclesiastes has been called “the saddest song” in contrast to The Song of Songs, which has been called “the sweetest song,” for there we truly see the heart of Christ for His beloved.
6. Read the opening of each of these books, describe the tone of each, and then explain why you believe they are so different.
A. Ecclesiastes 1:1-11
B. Song of Songs 1:1-4
C. Why do you think the tone of these books is so different? What do you think God is communicating through this?
Thursday: How Jesus Sees His Own
The Song of Songs helps us understand just how tenderly Jesus sees us. The Shepherd/King keeps telling the Shulammite, despite her protestations, that she is altogether lovely, there is no flaw in her. He is gentle and oh so tender with her, the way an earthly bridegroom was meant to be with his bride.

7. Marinate in the following passages and ask God to help you believe this is how He sees you!
A. Songs of Songs 2:2
B. Song of Songs 2:10-13
8. Click on the following link again and scroll down to the 3rd video (I love Lucy) and watch. Share your thoughts.
https://deebrestin.com/hecallsyoubeautiful/
Friday: Gentle and Lowly
In his book, Gentle and Lowly, Dane Ortlund contends that many of us who know God loves us still “suspect we have deeply disappointed him.” But the Puritans knew the heart of Christ. Ortlund writes how Charles Spurgeon pointed out that there is only one passage in Scripture where Jesus describes his own heart.
9. Read Matthew 11:28-30.
A. What does Jesus tell us to do and why?
B. How does He describe His heart? Is this different than you sometimes think of Him?
C. What burden do you need to give Him right now — and leave with Him?
The word gentle is used three times in the New Testament. Translated “meek” in the meek will inherit the earth. “Humble” in that he came riding in on Palm Sunday on a donkey. “Gentle” as in Peter’s encouragement to wives to have a “gentle and quiet spirit,” the hidden person of the heart.
10, What does this tell you about Jesus’ heart toward you?
11. If you have the book, read the introduction and first chapter of Gentle and Lowly and share your
comments. (You can get the first few chapters for free on your Kindle from Amazon as a sample.)
Saturday: Reflecting
12. What is your take-a-way this week — what do you believe God is saying to you for your life right now?
424 comments
7. Marinate in the following passages and ask God to help you believe this is how he sees you!
A. Song of Songs 2:2 – “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.” The bridegroom seems to be saying that no one compares to his bride, but what I like most about this is, not so much the lily among thorns, but that he calls her my darling. That is a term of endearment, reserved just for her. I am asking God to help me experience deep down that this is how He sees me.
B. Song of Songs 2:10-13 – In this passage, he again calls her my darling….and my beautiful one. He wants her to arise and come with him, reassuring her that there is no danger, but only delight as in a fresh spring day, and that in his presence is only safety and security for her. She is beautiful to him, and he wants to show her and surround her with beauty. I don’t know why, but something about this passage speaks to me of what it might be like at the time of my death. “See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone…” When I take my last breath, maybe I will hear Him say, “Arise, come, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.”
Yes — darling.
In A Severe Mercy (have you read — for you, Susan, would love it) he called her “Dearling.”
Oh my, Dee, thank you! I had that book on my heart, when I was chatting on here to Denise Fabian, but couldn’t think of anything other than “Severe something”. But reading what that book is about now makes me want to buy it for myself. My husband is jealous of my devotion to Jesus also. I see that in what he says to me at times.
I haven’t read Severe Mercy, Dee, but I’ve heard you mention it several times here. I will have to check it out!
Susan and Dee: I realized something connected to all this. My Mum’s illness and dying was a severe mercy to us both. Her illness led her to repent and speak truth in so many places. And her illness and death broke my idol, as I saw and felt the life of Jesus in her.
I realized that I had worshipped my Mum and when she did sinful things I either believed they “must be the right way” and I am the blind one, or I swept it under the carpet in the name of “grace”. But God pulled the carpet up to display it all and to bring healing to both our hearts.
I finally got to love my Mum wholeheartedly, listen to all her heartache, truly forgive her sins (not sweep them under the carpet or deny them as sins) and I got to turn my heart to loving Jesus first and experience His deep love for my whole family.
My Mum got to surrender all the heavy burdens she was carrying and lean into God’s love and grace for her.
Cancer and death was our severe mercy. Just as my husband’s unbelief is and has been God’s severe mercy to me to mould and shape me into His image and to also gift me a faith in Him and His Word I NEVER would have otherwise gained. The hurt and pain and longing have driven me to His Word, which has lifted my burdens again and again, to open my eyes to His Presence in my midst. I am learning to love my husband as Christ loves me and His church. No scratch that! I am not learning to- Christ is yielding me to love from His heart in me.
And you know Dee, as you spoke of your husband with Dobson, I recognized your lament. You asked God if he couldn’t have taken a less good Dad and husband. I asked God why He let someone who served Him so well and with such passion (my Mum) suffer so excruciatingly and then die.
His reply was John 6:35-40. It was in essence: Anna, do you believe my Word that your Mum stands healed and whole before me and that her suffering led her to me, that I am her resurrection and her life, not her striving? Or do you believe in what the world says: that each person earns their place at My table, and after dying there is nothing more.
And really now I see that unbelief is the cause of my own pain and my condemning finger toward my husband every single time. He’s like; Anna: this is your choice, will you see your husband as made holy by the faith I have given you? Or will you deny Me in Him?
So, I can say he is the unbeliever but so often I am that unbeliever of His Word also. LORD have mercy.
It is good to see the deaths of believers we love as severe mercies, esp. when we have made them idols. Good thoughts, Anna.
It works both ways, Dee. And I know that’s not a popular thought. That those suffering from cancer are receiving God’s severe mercy. My Mum tasted the peace and nearness of her God like never before. But she also tasted pain like never before.
I remember reading the book of a man who had laid hands upon hundreds, maybe thousands, and seen them healed. And yet, this man died of cancer but spoke of how for the first time in his life he understood how much God loved him. He said he felt like he couldn’t do anything “for God” anymore and felt like he was letting God down. But God showed him he was right where God wanted him: finally in complete surrender to receive God’s love himself. He said people prayed for him to be healed but that he prayed for them to experience the love of Christ that he was in his dying.
This testimony, Anna, is absolutely powerful to me! Seeing someone as an idol because we always think they are right and we are wrong! Or sweeping under the carpet what they do wrong and calling it grace! Oh, how this speaks to my heart. Idols are often so hidden as good things, aren’t they?!
Yes, they look real good and shiny. But leave you empty and grieved. I am so thankful to God for Him teaching me so much through my Mum those last few months. His work in her was astounding and the gift He gave us all through that time: priceless.
9. Read Matthew 11:28-30
A. What does Jesus tell us to do and why?
Jesus tells us to come to Him…we are weary and burdened, staggering around under the weight of our sin, our failures and mistakes, our hurts, our dashed hopes and dreams, our disappointments…all the while being pelted, as it were, with stones by our enemy. Jesus calls us to Himself as One who will finally give us rest. He tells us to take His yoke and learn from Him…He is not in the cart driving us like an ox with a yoke…He is shouldering a double yoke with us, teaching us how to go. His yoke is easy and light. I think anytime we slip out of our double-yoke and try to do it on our own, we start to feel the weight, and the Christian life starts to feel heavy and burdensome, even oppressive.
B. How does He describe His heart? Is this different than you sometimes think of Him?
He describes His heart as gentle and humble, and as a place of rest. Well, I think of Jesus in his humanness as gentle and humble, in the way that He treated those who turned to Him. But I am not sure that I think of the risen, divine Jesus like this. Like when we studied Revelation and He is pictured in clothes dipped in blood and with a sharp sword like a warrior, that doesn’t feel gentle and humble.
C. What burden do you need to give Him right now – and leave with Him?
Oh, this seems a bit of a trick question with that “and leave with Him” at the end! Because I can think I am giving Him a burden, only to take it right back and worry and fret about it. Control idol in operation! I have a burden for the salvation of my children and my husband. I need to give Him the burden of a few sins from my past that I cannot seem to forgive and forget (forgive myself) There are burdens of things that my adult children do or decisions they make that I feel are not right or in their best interest, yet I know I can’t control their lives. I need to leave these things with Him.
10. What does this tell you about Jesus’ heart toward you?
It tells me something like He envelops and wraps His absolute sovereignty and power…power that could be quite frightening to be around…and veils it so that I can draw near. Respect and awe are due Him; yet He doesn’t want me to be scared of Him. He is saying that He is approachable…He bends down to me. He has a heart that is soft, open, and inviting.
11. I ordered the book, but I’ve been in NC staying with my D-I-L and baby grandson, so I’ll wait until I get back home to start reading.
12. What is your take-away this week – what do you believe God is saying to you for your life right now?
What He is saying – the whole reason I have days that I feel so fragmented, anxious, and defeated is because I am not believing in His love for me. I have a lot of take-aways from Mike Reeves’ talk above….I loved re-visiting The Songs….the gospel is there, as is rest and refreshment….if I will believe what He tells me through His word. I just also really enjoyed the sharing that went on here this week….I tried to read as many of your comments as I could.
I was talking about this with my best friend – the justice + mercy: “But I am not sure that I think of the risen, divine Jesus like this. Like when we studied Revelation and He is pictured in clothes dipped in blood and with a sharp sword like a warrior, that doesn’t feel gentle and humble.”
I told her about reading of some having the seed of Satan, some the seed of God. She looked at me and said: “Oh, like, Hitler. He was pure evil.”
Susan: I wonder if that would help us? To know that some are sown by Satan and some by God. And God knows who is who and no way does He want to give the seed of Satan free reign to continue to steal, kill and destroy. This is me just thinking out loud. I still don’t understand it all either.
But it makes me think: Is God cruel and unjust to want Hitler gone from our midst? And is He kind and merciful in extending salvation to those, who like the SS guard, who cruelly beat Corrie ten Boom’s sister, sought forgiveness in their deep conviction of their wrong doing?
My Dad watched movies of Hitler’s speeches and he said it was like those in front of him became possessed – like robots – in following his orders. An evil spirit was at work. That’s for sure.
But even in those atrocities, Christ had mercy for those possessed by evil and extended love and kindness through people like Corrie ten Boom- who recognized that we do not wage war against the flesh, but against powers of darkness.
She didn’t want to forgive the man, but cried out to God for help and Jesus reminded her that she had HIS heart and that He could enable her to forgive. And so she did.
So, I think in bringing justice, God does not lose His gentle and kind heart. It’s that gentleness and kindness and compassion toward us that compels Him to bring justice that will free us from Satan’s oppression.
But hmmm. I wonder if the flesh that is destroyed at the end is in fact also our own flesh – the sinful part of us – to free us to live fully and wholly in Jesus. We get new heavenly bodies after all.
Kind of icky to think of, but maybe that’s what is being killed? Ugh: can you tell I am a thinker? Sometimes I wish I wasn’t, but God keeps reminding me that all my questions lead me to Him.
Anna — Corrie ten boom said the same of Hitler — as his voice got high and passionate she heard demons shrieking
I like that you’re a “thinker”, Anna!
Loyal Lisa
I submitted a much more detailed version of this earlier but it didn’t post. Here is the cliff notes version. (smile)
Friday: God calls us to take his easy yoke and light burden and get rest for our souls, learn from Him, for He is gentle and humble of heart.
Saturday: God is telling to trust His heart of love, expect Him to answer, expect Him to do great things for me and His people. His heart is for me.
Lent #1 – Thursday
It is wonderful to imagine our union with Christ in all His splendor. I love how Lucy stated that “God sees us that way every day” and that encourages me to do my best to glorify Him and walk in faith and truth each and every day.
Lent #1 – Friday
9. Read Matthew 11:28-30.
A. What does Jesus tell us to do and why?
He tells us to come to Him and lay down our burdens so that He can give us rest. He is our savior and came to free us from the burden of sin.
B. How does He describe His heart? Is this different than you sometimes think of Him?
He tells us that he has a humble and gentle heart. I tend to think of Jesus as mighty and powerful never giving a second thought to His heart and its qualities. I can see now how He desires us to have gentle and humble hearts also.
C. What burden do you need to give Him right now — and leave with Him?
I need to give Him the burden of control and my tendency of doing everything and fixing everything. I do have my tasks as a Christian but I will fall short and, when I do, I need to first and foremost, lay those worries at His feet and place them in His capable hands.
Lent #1 – Saturday
My take away this week is that no matter what excuses I say to myself and whatever doubts I may have, I am worthy of His love and that if I look to Him, I can continue in my journey of faith in His loving protection.