As we come to the close of Matthew 5,
Jesus puts the highest bar of all before us.
You have heard that it was said,
“Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I tell you:
Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.
Honestly, I haven’t done this well.
A relative wrote me a letter several years
ago listing all the reasons she didn’t like me.
I felt socked in the stomach for it truly took
me by surprise.
She’s been in my home so many times both alone and with family,
and I had no clue of the hatred she felt toward me.
I called her, met with her, apologized for anything I saw that had any truth,
and told her that if she knew my heart,
she’d know I was even worse than she realized.
She seemed to soften and I tried to put it behind me,
but I kept dredging up that letter in my mind.
I was wallowing in the mud, having imaginary conversations
where I defended myself.
I might have looked good on the outside, but oh, how slimy inside.
I know many of you have been truly hurt as well
by those for whom you have given sacrificial love.
That high bar Jesus puts before you looks impassable.
It’s natural to think:
But as Philip Yancey says,
“The reason grace is amazing, is because it is not natural, it’s supernatural.”
This study on Matthew 5, while certainly not one of my most popular studies,
has been so good for me.
I needed it.
The combination of memorizing Matthew 5, studying what some of the
godly scholars have said about it,
and hearing your insights
spurred me on to take a running leap at that high bar.
I had that relative over for a dinner, and found ways to bless her that
evening with words, gifts, food.
I prayed God would cleanse my heart, help me forget that letter,
and see her the way He did.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote:
I could see her suffering that night.
One of the questions I put in the bowl for our conversation was
“What are you thankful for this year that you could not have been last year?”
She pondered, shook her head, and said,
“There’s nothing.”
I’m seeing her differently, more compassionately, and God is doing a work in
my heart, a work that really needed to be done!
I’m sure I’ll need another bath soon, but honestly, right now,
it feels so very good (blessed!) to be clean.
Next week we will begin our month of giving thanks. It went so well last year and so helped our hearts, we will do it again. I plan to return to The Sermon on the Mount, Lord willing, during Lent.
On a personal note, I am in the beautiful Poconos of Pennsylvania giving a retreat to the best group of women from Manhatten — and our own Laura Dancer is here, She has rescued me by operating the tech, which has been full of challenges she has met beautifully! We also had a little time with Jackie Randall, who used to be active on our blog, and is simply a lovely person!
Sunday:
- What stands out to you from the above and why?
- Could you identify with Dee’s struggle in any way? If so, how?
Monday: Non-Retaliation and Active Love
John Stott writes that “While an eye for an eye may have been practiced in the courts of the judges, (where it belongs) the Pharisees had carried it into the person realm (where it does not belong.) But now Jesus says, “Do not resist an evil person.” The description he gives in this passage sounds much like the way of Martin Luther King. He practiced non-retaliation and active love. The first section we are looking at today gives illustrations of non-retaliation on a personal level.
3. Read Matthew 5:38-42 and list the illustrations Jesus gives of how we should respond to an evil person.
4. Think of how Jesus responded to evil in his last days, and what he was telling his disciples.
5. How did Paul and Silas live this out in Acts 16:25-34 and what was the result in the cruel
jailer’s life? (Notice when he finally washed their wounds.)
Tuesday: Love Your Enemies and Pray for Them
My husband was a pacifist, as was his closest friend, a Mennonite, David Wiebe. I remember on 9/11 David and Steve pondered what might have happened had we responded with love, building hospitals, schools, and shelters instead of reacting with violence. I don’t know — I haven’t resolved this myself, but I ponder it when I read these words of Jesus. I tend to agree with John Stott who quotes Luther in dividing this into the government realm and the personal realm. I am glad our government catches rapists and murderers. Stott said “You can simulataneously feed the thief you caught who broke into your home while calling the police.” An application was can be sure is right is to overcome evil with good, finding active ways to love those who have hurt us, and to pray for them.
6. What is the contrast in Matthew 5:43-44?
7. Can you share a way you have actively loved someone who deeply hurt you?
8. When Billy Graham was addressing the example of Matthew 5:27-28 about looking at a
woman lustfully, he said, you can’t help it when the birds (thoughts) fly over your head,
but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. How might you apply this to
Matthew 5:43-44?
Wednesday: That You May Be Sons of Your Father
Many of you have seen this recent video that went virale, but if not, it is worth your time.
8. How is this young man reflecting His Father in heaven? Other comments?
9. Read Matthew 5:45.
A. When we love our enemies, whom do we resemble?
B. Whose “sun” does this verse say it is?
C. What is the point the last part of this verse is making?
10. When we studied the fool in Proverbs, we learned that is may be wise to draw boundaries. If your enemy is indeed, a fool, according to Proverbs, how can you both drawn boundaries and yet give active love?
11. Ask the Lord to show you how He would have you respond to someone who has deeply hurt you, or to an actual enemy. Share here.
Thursday: The Reward
12. What questions does Jesus ask in verse 46?
13. Is it wrong to do things because God promises a reward if we do? I think not, though eager to hear your thoughts. If it spurs us to do what is right yet painful, I think that is a good thing. What do you think?
14. What question does Jesus ask in verse 47? How might you apply this personally?
15. Describe the bar Jesus gives us in verse 48. How is this possible?
Friday: What Sinning in Anger Does To Our Souls
16. Listen to the following Keller message and share your notes and comments:
Saturday:
17. What is your take-a-way and why?
66 comments
1. what stands out to you from the above and why? I love the Bonhoeffer quote. It is so much harder with people close to you. I think because there is a sense of entitlement (they should give me/treat me as I want) and implied loyalty when it is family or church member (you’re supposed to be on Team Me! Why are you not giving me understanding and empathy?!) Also time with blog sisters – I am jealous! (Can jealousy be righteous???!) what comfort to be with those who know you and are known by you in such a deep way . I miss Jackie And would love to meet Laura!
2. Could you identify with Dee’s struggle in any way? If so, how? Yes, I can identify. I have a family member who doesn’t like me and is difficult to get along with. I have another family member who is deeply hurting from a traumatic past and denies it and so lashes out at people close but does not see it as wrong. But besides the family member issues I most identify with the dredging up of events in my life that severely accuse me of being unworthy and undesirable. Then my heart gets defensive or melancholy … but the solution is not to attempt to balance the scale, acheive a passing grade, or overshadow the mistakes with good deeds but to always, always come back to the cross. To be filled with His Grace not my excuses. To be empowered from a heart full of His love and not my own self-approval. I struggle but this morning I see the blessing of mistakes (current and remembered) to drive me away from self-identity and to Christ-identity.
Jill ~
Such encouraging words on this gray, rainy, cold Montana morning. Thank you.
I struggle but this morning I see the blessing of mistakes (current and remembered) to drive me away from self-identity and to Christ-identity.
I too would have loved to gather with Dee, Jackie and Laura this weekend.
I have never met Jackie, but Laura was my roommate when some of us met for the first time in Ohio at one of Dee’s speaking engagements. Laura is a sweet, dear woman of God. She is a very caring person. You all would love her.
Jill the part about your family, sounds a lot like my family. I thought I was reading my post for a minute there. So hard to understand when family members are distant. I have the same problem.
Jill, so true that the solution is not to try to balance the scale, achieve a passing grade, or make-up with good deeds, but to go back to the Cross.
Oh, Jill, so much of what you wrote resonates so deeply with me. I believe the treasure of this blog is finding out that others go through the same struggles and yet we can be pointed to Christ. Thank you for exercising your gift of being so articulate with what others of us are experiencing, and how you always encourage us to look to Jesus.
Jill, that must be so hard; the family member who unearths old fodder. I have a very small family so we can’t afford to lob nastiness at each other. I love the picture of the pig washing! I also like that you remind yourself to “… always come back to the cross… His grace not my excuses.”
The retreat was one of hope for me; I met so many who had similar situations and have survived. We leaned on each other and prayed for each other. The MBC is a lovely picture of what is good on Earth. I feel spiritually cleansed. I appreciate my husband for giving me the time. One day we will meet… if not here then in the Holy place with our Father.
Sunday:
What stands out to you from the above and why? – Oh WOW, this is going to be tough, but a good tough I’m sure. Dee, thank you for always being so open to us and pouring out your heart, I so appreciate it and love that God is using you to teach us. I love what Philip Yancey said “The reason grace is amazing, is because it is not natural, it’s supernatural.” Yes only God can make grace come to us to be able to freely give it away. There is no way I can do it on my own. My sinful heart that keeps telling me that I deserve an apology for what was said or done to me, but did I ever say I was sorry to Jesus? Oh my!!! I have a lot of sorrys to give to him and others. Who am I to think I am deserved an apology when Jesus gave up so much more and didn’t deserve any of it.
Could you identify with Dee’s struggle in any way? If so, how? – Yes I can. I recently was told by my oldest sister this summer, the my 2nd oldest sister does not like me. I was not real surprised I guess since she doesn’t really like to many people, but was confused as to what I did to make her feel that way about me. I don’t know if it’s because my Mom decided to live with us and not her, but that was a choice my Mom made not me. I know she thinks I’m brainwashing my Mom in to doing things my way, but I haven’t done that. I have to get to the point where I get to the bottom of it with her, but oh I hate confrontation, especially face to face. Hopefully this study will help me get there. Lord help me be open to your reconciling ways, not just toward my sister, but with anyone that I need to be. Bring them to me and make me step out of my box to resolve any issues that is keeping me from You.
3. Read Matthew 5:38-42 and list the illustrations Jesus gives of how we should respond to an evil person. – “if someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; If someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well; if someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles; give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”
4. Think of how Jesus responded to evil in his last days, and what he was telling his disciples. – he was telling them to not be vengeful, but to be loving and caring. I have to say reading this these verses in the NIV makes it sound like we are being walked over and taken advantage of. I eager to hear more on this. The Message Bible says it differently but still makes it look like we are to just stand there and take it but makes it a little clearer to see that we are not to take the revenge in to our own hands.
5. How did Paul and Silas live this out in Acts 17:25-34 and what was the result in the cruel jailer’s life? (Notice when he finally washed their wounds.) – Dee, is 17 the right chapter or is 16? While they were in jail they were praising the Lord and a great earthquake came that shook the prison foundation. All the cell doors flew open, but Paul and Silas did not leave even though they could have. They stayed put and because of that the jailer invited them to his home washed their wounds and he and his whole family baptized. He was in awe of what the Lord had done in their lives and wanted a part of it.
Thanks Julie — I must correct that!
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
Dee, I am truly inspired the way you reached out to your relative, who sent you that letter; inviting her over for a meal and doing everything in your power to bless her during her time with you. Because, I am reminded, that in the days of Jesus, Jewish culture was such that sharing a meal with someone was a very intimate occasion, and signified deep friendship and communion. I’m sure it took a lot on your part to sit down at the table with this relative and be open and vulnerable, and to bless her. But you did it. You always model ways that you live out your faith; put it into practical actions. Next, the Bonhoeffer quote, about seeing people more in the light of what they suffer. This fits with the chapter I just finished in Brennan Manning’s Abba’s Child; chapter 4, “Abba’s Child”. It was not quite what I expected the chapter to be about. He writes, “Understanding triggers the compassion that makes forgiveness possible”, and “The heartfelt compassion that hastens forgiveness matures when we discover why our enemy cries.” Next, Manning gives the illustration of a fox hunt that was documented by Life magazine back in 1944 in Holmes County, Ohio. It was pretty horrific; how heartless and un-pitying the men, women, and children were, as they beat the foxes to death. Then Manning asks, “Where are we in that circle? Where are you? Where would Christ be? Our hearts of stone become hearts of flesh when we learn where the outcast weeps.”
2. Could you identify with Dee’s struggle in any way? If so, how?
Oh yes. I have a close relative who, on many occasions in the past (and not too far past), has been mean, aggressive, and at times, just plain nasty to me. I’ve been left scathing voice messages on my phone. Had lies told about me behind my back. I guess it doesn’t shock me anymore because these kinds of things have been going on for many, many years. I am very, very cautious with this relative because of the way they will take things that I say and completely twist and distort them, and so I keep all conversations light and impersonal. I just do not trust this person, at all. So, would I invite her over for dinner with me? I hesitate, because so much of the time, I cannot believe things that she says to me. I usually discover that a lot of what she tells me is not the truth. So I don’t think that a real relationship between us is even possible. I do struggle with re-hashing the past offenses, if only in my own mind. I do see some of the ways that she is hurting herself, yet I have also questioned whether she might have some kind of a mental illness. I’m just not sure that it’s safe to get too close.
How hard for you with that relative, Susan. Nothing wrong with keeping a safe distance — I see David doing that all the time with Saul!
Susan, thanks for sharing- He writes, “Understanding triggers the compassion that makes forgiveness possible”, and “The heartfelt compassion that hastens forgiveness matures when we discover why our enemy cries.”
I have a loved one who is hurting inside and deals with it by periodic lashing out. “…discover why our enemy cries.” So true and an eye-opener.
What stands out to you from the above and why? That I missed seeing Dee, Laura and Jackie!! I even had my rental car booked for the the trip, but as the date came closer my husband became more adamant that he didn’t want me driving 9 1/2 hours, mostly through Canada, by myself. I so wanted to go to the conference!
Could you identify with Dee’s struggle in any way? If so, how? Absolutely. I remember the first time that it occurred to me that I should be praying for a co worker who didn’t like me and was treating me badly. I had been thinking about how terribly I was being treated and how I wished that they would just leave, when all along I should be praying (sincerely) for this person. I told God in the first few prayers that I was only praying for them because it was commanded and that I hoped that He would give me the desire.
Dawn, I also wanted so badly to go to the conference, but was unable. I was thinking about what you said about praying for an enemy. I find that so very hard to do and I’m sure it’s because I know, deep down in my heart, that I will change if I pray for them. And sometimes I don’t want to change. I want to nurse my hurts and justify myself in my dislike of that person. I do believe that prayer for an enemy changes me in profound ways.
Dawn, I think it was really sweet how your husband covered you in the decision of whether to go or not on the retreat. He loves you!
What happened with the co-worker?
3. Read Matthew 5:38-42 and list the illustrations Jesus gives of how we should respond to an evil person.
The Law stated that the punishment should match the injury, such as an eye for an eye. But Jesus said, do not resist an evil person. If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek too. If you are sued in court and you lose your shirt, give up your coat, too. If a soldier demands you to carry his gear for one mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask of you and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow from you. I still have some questions about this though; I can’t believe that we are to take these words literally in that if a person, whether a friend, relative, my own husband, or a total stranger were to strike me physically, that I am expected not to defend myself but in fact to allow them to continue to harm me even more. I don’t think we are to enable a person to continue to act in evil ways.
4. Think of how Jesus responded to evil in His last days, and what He was telling His disciples.
I think 1 Peter 2 gives us a good picture of how Jesus responded to evil: Jesus did not retaliate when he was insulted or threaten revenge; Jesus left his case in God’s hand as One who always judges fairly. He didn’t reject the evil of having to bear our sins as He personally carried our sins and died for them.
5. How did Paul and Silas live this out in Acts 17:25-34 and what was the result in the cruel jailer’s life? (Notice when he finally washed their wounds)
I believe it is Acts 16:25-34….Paul and Silas had the chance to escape from prison when a supernatural earthquake caused all the doors to open and their chains to fall off. The jailer, thinking all the prisoners had escaped, was ready to kill himself, but Paul called to him to stop, saying that they were all still here. So they lived this out by not running away and not caring whether the jailer lived or died by his own hand. The jailer didn’t deserve their compassion, but they gave it. It was after the jailer believed their words about putting his faith in Jesus for salvation that he cared for Paul and Silas, washing their wounds.
Thank you so much, Susan, for the excellent quotes from Brennan Manning. I have been listening to Abba’s Child on my long commutes with my Hoopla app and was also struck by the story of the foxes. So much to glean and learn. I have such a long way to go to be like Jesus in forgiving and having compassion on those who have hurt me. But I do realize more and more how self-centered I am when I nurse my wounds and do not consider the hurts of the enemy.
Yes, that fox hunt illustration has really stuck with me, too. I ask myself, who have I put in the circle? And what are my weapons I use to inflict harm?
Dee, I believe it is your honesty and vulnerability that draws me and others to this blog. You only put words to the same hurts and feelings we all have, and yet you show us another way, the Jesus way, to love and bless your enemies. Isn’t it the most difficult when it is a family member or church member? In my case, it is a very close family member who is truly very godly but has separated from me due to a huge misunderstanding. No amount of attempted reconciliation on my part will be entertained. It has been over one year, and I have never gone through so much pain in my life. But God is slowly teaching me and this blog is a big part of that healing and restoration of my spirit. Also makes one long for Heaven where all will be peace among the occupants. I want a little of that Heaven here and now. Thank you so much for taking the time to lead us in these deep matters of the heart.
Thank you dear Miriam.
What a beautiful weekend I had! The women of Manhattan Bible Church are amazing and I feel like I am part of their group now. I told them I have to go on their next retreat now. Hahaha!
Dee was her lovely self, and I think I’m ready to tackle the Song of Songs now. I have grown up; I am spiritually filled. Thank you Dee.
I am putting my pictures of the retreat and nature on my screen saver so I remember to include Jesus in every moment of my day. Have a wonderful week everyone!
3. Read Matthew 5:38-42 and list the illustrations Jesus gives of how we should respond to an evil person.
– if someone slaps you on the right cheeks, offer the other as well.
– if you are sued in court and your shirt is taken, give your coat also.
– if a soldier demands you carry his gear a mile, carry it two.
– give to those who ask and don’t turn away from those who want to borrow.
Laura is such a treasure — she not only rescued me with tech but the praise group! All with great love and cheer. Remember to send me your address, dear Laura.
Laura, laura!! I am SO happy to hear how God rescued Dee through you. YAY! You are a gem and I so hope that some day I get to meet you! And yay, you are going to do The Song!
Laura, I thought about you at the retreat, knowing that you carry so many burdens and wanting you to be so ministered to while you were there! I’m so happy to hear that you were filled up to overflowing!
Hello, all! I just want to thank you for faithfully being here. I have been just silently following the last few weeks due to personal commitments at church and at school. I do want to get back and so a little comment here would get me restarted.
What stood out to me:
1. the picture of the pig wallowing in mud-I have been there so many times!
2. Dee’s openness to share about her own struggle with forgiveness and her willingness to have the Lord have His way in her life. I am not sure I am there yet to invite an enemy to my home for a meal. The hurt/rejection has been deep.
3. My dad raised pigs when we were growing up and my siblings and I would help clean the stalls. And how happy they were often when they get all cleaned up as well. Snorting and playing with us-we even named them! Hah! Lord, help me be willing to get all cleaned up in ways that please You.
Your dad raised pigs! Wow.
3. Read Matthew 5:38-42 and list the illustrations Jesus gives of how we should respond to an evil person. anyone who slaps you, turn your other cheek to them
anyone who would sue you to take your cloak give him your tunic also
if someone forces you to go a mile go two
give to those who beg and borrow
4. Think of how Jesus responded to evil in his last days and what he was telling his disciples. Jesus let evil have its own way. Ironicly this accomplished the Father’s will but Christ still did not retaliate or seek to save face in the least bit. Jesus did turn the other cheek and gave all … this was communicating to the disciples that …. I suppose something about how we can manipulate our place on earth or heaven. Our desperate attempts to save what little we have is futile. We have no true control and can only submit to the Father’s will. And in the end this is what gives us all we need.
5. How did Paul and Silas live this out in Acts 16:25-34 and what was the result in the cruel jailer’s life? Paul and Silas also succumbed to their fate as seemingly dictated by evil. But they sought the Lord for strength and safety in their hearts and souls. This paved the way for the jailer (and others) to KNOW God. Again, He is ultimately in control not us and so when we relinquish control and allow His path to unfold we give glory and allow space for Him to work.
Dee, how you frame these questions really have caused me to pause and think hard about my relationships. It is such a high bar but Jesus is my example and my enabler. People I trusted before have stabbed me in the back. Trusting God to continue to reach out to these people and risk more hurt is indeed supernatural. And sometimes, distancing is perhaps a wise thing to do as well.
3. Read Matthew 5:38-42 and list the illustrations Jesus gives of how we should respond to an evil person.
Somebody slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other cheek.
Somebody sues you and take your shirt, give them your coat, too.
If they ask you to go one mile, go with them 2 miles.
Do not turn away anyone who wants to borrow from you.
4. Think of how Jesus responded to evil in his last days, and what he was telling his disciples.
I Peter 2:23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.
In effect, Jesus is telling His disciples to do the supernatural, not the natural. To love your enemies and be kind to them.
5. How did Paul and Silas live this out in Acts 16:25-34 and what was the result in the cruel jailer’s life? (Notice when he finally washed their wounds.)
Paul and Silas did not malign their jailer as he was putting them in the inner cell and put their feet in stock. They did not retaliate although as Paul said, they had rights as Roman citizens.
The jailer asked what he must do to be saved. He and his household were saved and baptized. He was kind to them and set a meal with them. The meal surely was a gesture of hospitality and kinship.
All this is wise, Bing:
Trusting God to continue to reach out to these people and risk more hurt is indeed supernatural. And sometimes, distancing is perhaps a wise thing to do as well.
4. Think of how Jesus responded to evil in his last days, and what he was telling his disciples.
He told one of the disciples to not harm the High Priest’s slave in the garden (the one who got his ear cut off). Jesus healed the soldiers ear and told the disciples that no more of that behavior would be tolerated.
5. How did Paul and Silas live this out in Acts 16:25-34 and what was the result in the cruel jailer’s life? (Notice when he finally washed their wounds.)
Paul and Silas were in jail when a huge earthquake struck and demolished the prison. The jailer immediately thought the prisoners had escaped so he was going to kill himself. They did not escape and they shouted for him to not kill himself. He was so overcome that he begged for them to help him understand how to be saved. He and his family were saved and he cared for the prisoners by taking them into his house, feeding them and washing their wounds (immediately that night). They were all baptized as well.
I’m finding these questions difficult this morning; such thought.
6. What is the contrast in Matthew 5:43-44?
We are to give our love to our enemies. It says that God doesn’t distinguish good from evil when the sun shines and the rains come. I love this imagery! I’m not a fan of rain; it’s so messy! But God regards it as good, given as a gift. I must ponder this more! Maybe I can see rain as a washing of myself today as I step out in it (ugh… it’s cold too); a connection between myself and heaven?
7. Can you share a way you have actively loved someone who deeply hurt you?
My husband and I have been gracious to our daughters boyfriend even when he has disparaged us in front of everyone in a court room. My husband is the type of person who is tough on the outside but kind inside. Yesterday, our daughter got married in the courts in NYC, for all the wrong reasons. My husband has said that he thinks he has to accept him (the boyfriend) now. I’m not sure I agree, but I know that no matter how many times he lashes out and blames us for his troubles, I can only be who I am, which is not a cruel person. I don’t like treating others poorly.
8. When Billy Graham was addressing the example of Matthew 5:27-28 about looking at a woman lustfully, he said, you can’t help it when the birds (thoughts) fly over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. How might you apply this this to Matthew 5:43-44?
You just need to know that it can flee by (the thought) but you don’t want it taking up residence. Such a funny quote from BG. I suppose when someone hurts you, you can be who God wants you to be and focus on that versus focusing on ways to harm the other person.
I struggle with the 9/11 situation. If we didn’t retaliate then our own “family” might be pained because of our lack of action. Not everyone in the family is one who relates to Christianity. We would know that it’s God’s “deal” to take care of, but those who were directly affected would want us to stand up for them and no action would appear that we didn’t care. Also, love comes out when strife is upon us. So many unbelievers come forth to help; a beautiful thing. The other thing is the whole terrorism thing itself…not retaliating means these people can go harm others. I don’t think God would want us to allow others to be harmed if there was any way to prevent it (protection), just as if a rapist was on trial and we just let him go…others would be potentially harmed. Loving our enemies might mean putting them in jail for their own (and others’ good).
Oh wow, Laura. She did it. Wondering if you even had a chance to tell her your plan to bless the marriage if she got counseling. I think you have to love him, but that doesn’t mean condoning bad behavior.
And Stott differentiates between allow the government to discipline and taking personal vengeance.
I didn’t get to share with her. But, Joveda sent me the info on a church in Brooklyn and I sent it to her. I told her that we would like them to attend the church. I told her they need friends. We shall see.
So coming off of working 100 hours the past two weeks..ugh, but thankful for the overtime and how I was able to take part in protecting my fellow co-workers against the flu. I have another 100 or so hours to work the next two weeks and then I am done. I miss this well!
I NEED THIS WEEK’s BLOG POST! I wish I could be here all week.
Me not giving Grace this week: So a co-worker, patient registration rep (PRR), in our clinic is ignoring me simply because my director and manager want me to do the work they don’t feel the PRR’s are able to do well in regard to our flu shot clinics. It wasn’t something I asked to do, but my director preferred that I do it so they asked me to stay up front the whole clinic time in the morning. So she ignored me the whole day yesterday, sitting right next to me. Totally unjust. I ignored her back as if, “I’ll show her.” OH MY. She doesn’t know Jesus and is very difficult to work with, so pray for me. I do think setting boundaries is healthy but I don’t want to not show her His kindness.
HIS marvelous Grace-not me but Him: A close family member hurt me deeply in May of this year..I mean it was damaging. His supernatural power in me helped me see this person like he sees me, that I have done far worse, maybe not to this person-and I was tempted to justify myself with this thought and did for a short time. But God died for me while in my sin, while I was His enemy. Even now when I wander after an idol in the Desert He rages with jealous anger which is His deep love for me-and rescues me. How can I see this person any different than me? So it was God’s grace and this person sensed that and said, “I am seeing His mercy, His Grace through you.” (see how Jesus gets the credit, not me? for my flesh cries out!!) I have seen a turn in this person and God moving, yet even that is His spirit inside.
Two great illustrations, Rebecca. Good for you!
Rebecca, having to sit next to your coworker who won’t speak to you is hard….I will pray that things will get better for you. I remember when I was in college, I worked in one of the business offices on campus where my sister had worked when she attended there. The other woman with whom we shared an office had intensely disliked my sister, so when I came along, she was very icy towards me. Fast forward a few months, we were having lunch together!
Susan, Such an encouraging story!! So the other day there was a breakthrough. We had to travel together to one of our hospital’s clinics in another town to administer flu shots. So it was just she and I and the ice broke. God helped me be kind to her and she opened up on her own. I found out they are mad at management. She said, “because of that it puts you in a hard place.” (It was her way of apologizing for ignoring me. Without saying it she was mad because they had me doing her work when she felt she could do it.) In other words-the patient registration reps are upset because management has me doing a job that they feel they can do but management literally told them I do it better. Yikes! (I am an Administrative Assistant to my Director and don’t really enjoy front desk work in the clinic but I and the Director are a team-I am helping her so of course I will do it. ) Also I get their chance at getting overtime because of it. Which i feel bad about. The desk workers do tend to make a lot of mistakes and leave health workers in line way too long while checking them in. With our software it is difficult to make changes when they make mistakes & when they let the wrong people in it causes my director a ton of extra work. That said, I do desire for things to go seamless and things are going seamless this year. Sorry for rabbit trailing! She and I are on good terms now. God helped me empathize with her as she unloaded on me. It was a good idea God had to have us alone together. 🙂
Monday
3. Read Matthew 5:38-42 and list the illustrations Jesus gives of how we should respond to an evil person.
Don’t resist or oppose an evil person. If he slaps you, turn the other cheek toward him also. If he sues you and takes your shirt, let him have your coat also. If he forces you to go one mile, go two with him. Give what he asks of you, and don’t turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.
4. Think of how Jesus responded to evil in his last days and what he was telling his disciples.
He didn’t resist being arrested in the garden and even when Peter cut off the guards ear, He healed it…which would of spoke volumes to me if I had been Peter. His own disciple, Judas betrayed Him with a kiss…no retaliation. He was spit on, whipped, ridiculed and made to carry His own cross but at the end He said “Father forgive them for they know not what they do!” What He spoke in the above passage, His disciples saw Him live out through His death.
5. How did Paul and Silas live this out in Acts 16:25-34 and what was the result in the cruel jailers life? (Notice when he finally washed their wounds.)
This story always amazed me and my mother, whom I deem one of the best story tellers ever, could tell it in such a way that you’d be on the edge of your seat. My thoughts would be YES, God made a way for Paul and Silas to escape. I mean, what are the chances of an earthquake happening and their chains just falling off…it had to be God’s plan to rescue them, right? Why I asked didn’t Paul and Silas escape when they had the chance? God used their love and a spirit of non retaliation to save this man instead of themselves. They not only literally saved him from killing himself but he and his household were saved by believing in the Lord Jesus. The change in the jailers life is seen in his care for them and washing their wounds.
Tuesday
6. What is the contrast in Matthew 5:43-44?
“Hate your enemy” versus “love your enemies”
7. Can you share a way you have actively loved someone who deeply hurt you?
My oldest brother. When he moved from here to Ohio, me and my whole family went over to help him get his yard cleaned up and pack.
8. When Billy Graham was addressing the example of Matthew 5:27-28 about looking at a woman lustfully, he said you can’t help it when the birds (thoughts) fly over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. His might you apply this to Matthew 5:43-44?
I feel that the answer is in verse 44…”pray for those who persecute you.”
Would have loved to hear your mother tell it — sounds like a good mama~
6. What is the contrast in Matthew 5:43-44? – The world says to love your neighbor, but God says to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. I also think in todays society some believe you need to love yourself and not worry about others or think how others may be feeling, a thought process I think is making our world a scarier place to live.
7. Can you share a way you have actively loved someone who deeply hurt you? – Is forgiving someone an act of love that they refer to here? If so, I can say my ex husband, who broke up our family by being unfaithful, his wife (now ex wife) who made my life miserable while they were together because she was blindsided by his lies, my step son and his wife who have bashed me and my husband on social media and I have forgiven but was never apologized to. Or is there something more I need to be looking for here, something I need to find deeper in my soul and heart
8. When Billy Graham was addressing the example of Matthew 5:27-28 about looking at woman lustfully, he said, you can’t help it when the birds (thoughts) fly over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. How might you apply this to Matthew 5:43-44? – You can be in constant prayer for your thoughts, so that you are thinking of nothing but what comes from above, like what is listed in Philippines 4.8
8. How is this young man reflecting His Father in heaven? Other comments?
He is showing mercy to someone who needs it.
9. Read Matthew 5:45.
A. When we love our enemies, whom do we resemble?
We resemble God, who shines sunlight and rain on all.
B. Whose “sun” does this verse say it is?
It is God’s sun.
C. What is the point the last part of this verse is making?
God doesn’t differentiate between us; we are all His children.
Laura — it is true God doesn’t show partiality and is good to both the evil and just. But check out John 1:12-13 on who is children are.
Thank you again for being so AMAZING at the retreat.
Ahhh….I should know this! It’s the best scripture I ever choreographed in dance. Those who received Him and believed in Him He gave the right to be children of God…
3. Read Matthew 5:38-42 and list the illustrations Jesus gives of how we should respond to an evil person.
If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, give to them the other also.
If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, give them your coat also.
If anyone forces you to go 1 mile, go with them 2 miles.
4. Think of how Jesus responded to evil in his last days, and what he was telling his disciples.
Off topic, but this became radioactive to me this morning: He knew his disciples would leave him toward the end but he said in John 16 that while they will go their own ways and leave him alone he won’t really be alone for the Father is with him. That melted me for later He endured separation from God on the cross so that we could be brought into the dance of the trinity-so that God would never leave us. I can’t even imagine how deeply lonely and hellishly dark that must have been to Jesus.
Back to the topic: 🙂 I like what Laura Dance brought out-that Jesus healed the ear of the man who was cruelly arresting him. That was showing the Disciples His love. I also recall when he told them to forgive those who are trouble because they are blind. They don’t know better.
5. How did Paul and Silas live this out in Acts 16:25-34 and what was the result in the cruel jailer’s life? (Notice when he finally washed their wounds.)
The earthquake made their chains come off so they could have run but they stayed because they knew the jailer would lose his life if they left. When the jailer was about to kill himself when he saw that the prisoners could escape, Paul told him to stop for they are still there. Paul put this jailer’s life (his enemy) above his freedom-his own life. Right after the jailer ran to Paul and Silas asking what must he do to be saved. He washed their wounds at his house after he was saved right before he and his household’s baptism. This was fruit of the spirit, an outward sign of the Holy Spirit that was in him, it was Christ’s love.
Your response to 4 shows you, like many of us, are a Keller disciple! Love it. 🙂
6. What is the contrast in Matthew 5:43-44?
The law said to love your neighbor and hate your enemy, but Jesus said to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
7. Can you share a way you have actively loved someone who deeply hurt you?
My husband has deeply hurt me over the years of our marriage, mostly in those times with his words. I’m still committed to our marriage though, and to show love to him.
8. When Billy Graham was addressing the example of Matthew 5:27-28 about looking at a woman lustfully, he said you can’t help it when the birds (thoughts) fly over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. How might you apply this to Matthew 5:43-44?
I think it would mean that when someone hurts or offends you, you have a choice to not go over and over the offense in your mind – brood over it. In that way, it gets bigger and bigger because you’re feeding it. Jesus said to pray for them instead, which it is hard to be praying for God to bless someone while you’re thinking bad things about them. Praying instead changes our mindset.
Because many of you struggled with the answer to 8, I’d love you to see Susan’s answer above. I think I didn’t make it clear, yet Susan did get it!
8. How is this young man reflecting his Father in heaven? Other comments?
This man made the first move towards the officer, offering grace, forgiveness, and reconciliation. God always makes the first move towards us, extending grace, forgiveness, and mercy. He put physical action behind his words by requesting to hug the officer. It’s encouraging to know that this young man won’t live in his own prison of bitterness and unforgiveness.
9. Read Matthew 5:45
A. When we love our enemies, whom do we resemble?
We, as His children, are resembling God our Father.
B. Whose “sun” does this verse say it is?
This verse says that God gives His sunlight to all (both the evil and the good). It belongs to Him.
C. What is the point the last part of this verse is making?
That God gives basic goodness and kindness, reflected by the gifts of sunlight and rain, to all. He doesn’t withhold them from those who are unjust or evil, so they get to enjoy them just as those who belong to God can. We should not withhold basic kindness from those who are evil, and should meet their basic needs. Is it saying that if God does not withhold, then we do not have the right to do so?
Wednesday
8. How is this young man reflecting his father in heaven? Other comments?
He sincerely extended forgiveness and love…such a witness.
9. Read Matthew 5:45
A. When we love our enemies, who do we resemble?
Our Father in heaven.
B. Whose “sun” does the verse say it is?
Gods
C. What is the point the last part of this verse is making?
God shows no favoritism…He gives His sun and rain to the righteous and unrighteous. That’s how He wants us to be.
“As though he did not regard human character at all, God bids His sun shine on good and bad. As though he did not know that any man were vile, He bids the shower descend on just and unjust. Yet He does know, for he has no blind deity. He does know; and He knows when His sun shines on yonder miser’s acres that it is bringing forth a harvest for a churl. He does it deliberately. When the rain is falling yonder upon the oppressor’s crops, He knows that the oppressor will be the richer for it, and means that he should be; He is doing nothing by mistake and nothing without a purpose. “ ~Spurgeon
“What does God say when He acts thus? I believe that He says this: ‘This is the day of free grace; this is the time of mercy.’ The hour for judgement is not yet, when He will separate between the good and the bad; when He will mount the judgement seat and award different portions to the righteous and to the wicked.” ~ Spurgeon
Pondering questions 10 & 11.
8. How is this young man reflecting His Father in heaven? Other comments? – He is showing unbelievable love to someone who he should easily have hated. This kind of love shown could not have been done on his own. It was only able to be displayed because of the power of the Holy Spirit living in side him. This was an act of love like no other. Just like God who gave up His Son for us, just like Jesus who continued to love those who were persecuting him, including me. This young man definitely knows what it is to love like Christ does.
9. Read Matthew 5:45.
A. When we love our enemies, whom do we resemble? – We resemble the Father in heaven
B. Whose “sun” does this verse say it is? – it rises on the evil and the good.
C. What is the point the last part of this verse is making? – To me it is saying no one is above the other as we are all sinners. Jesus is the only one that is without sin so we should not think we are better than anyone else. To Jesus our sin is hurting Him just like the sins of others. No sin is greater than the other when we are all hurting the One who died for us.
10. When we studied the fool in Proverbs, we learned that is may be wise to draw boundaries. If your enemy is indeed, a fool, according to Proverbs, how can you both drawn boundaries and yet give active love? – I think you can still be civil and polite but you don’t have to have a close relationship with them. I think that showing these things is an act of love considering the circumstance that was the driving force of having to draw the boundaries.
11. Ask the Lord to show you how He would have you respond to someone who has deeply hurt you, or to an actual enemy. Share here. – As a mom, even to grown children, when someone hurts one of your kids you get defensive. This is happening right now to my oldest son where a few months ago him and his ex-wife were getting along really well and now she is in one of her moods where she is taking him to court to try and get more child support even though they both had agreed to $200 a week for the one child. I feel like I have a good relationship with her to just ask her why she hates him so much that she is trying to ruin his life again. I hesitate because I don’t want to not be able to see my grandson, but I really feel that God is leading me to approach her on this. I continue to pray about it to make sure it is not just me trying to ‘fix it’ but God leading me to open her eyes to what she is doing when it suits her.
I will pray for wisdom for you, Julie. Very tricky! Sad too.
Thursday
12. What questions does Jesus ask in verse 46?
If you love only those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even tax collectors do that?
13. Is it wrong to do things because God promises a reward if we do? I think not, though eager to hear your thoughts. If it spurs us to do what is right yet painful, I think that is a good thing. What do you think?
I don’t think it’s wrong. I did chores as a kid because I knew there was a reward, even when I wanted to be outside playing. The reward was my incentive to do the chore.
14. What questions does Jesus ask in verse 47? How might you apply this personally?
If you greet only your brothers, what more than others are you doing? Do not even those who don’t know the Lord do that?
I have an unbelieving neighbor down the street who recently lost her spouse…I need to put into action the character of Christ and reach out to her. I’m more than happy to accept any suggestions
15. Describe the bar Jesus gives us in verse 48. How is this possible?
We are to be perfect, even as our Heavenly Father is perfect. Our righteousness is as filthy rags and it’s only through the blood of Jesus Christ that we can become white as snow and placed in a right relationship with God through our faith in Jesus Christ.
I love having you here, Sharon. You are such a godly and wise woman.
I agree with your answer to 15, but seeing the whole of Matthew 5 in context, I wonder if He is also asking us to press on to have the kind of heart Jesus has, actual righteousness in addition to the righteousness He gives us in Christ. Of course we cannot attain it until we see Him face to face, but I wonder if that is what is being asked here. Thoughts?
Dee, Thank you and I do agree with you. I have always struggled with the word “perfect.” I like the Vines definition…”complete,” conveying the idea of goodness without necessary reference to maturity. Paul says in Ephesians 5:1-2…”Imitate God, therefore, (in the previous chapter Paul tells us how to live in order to do this, which really goes along with this chapter in Matthew) in everything you do, because you are His children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” I feel this is what you’re saying in your comment “He’s asking us to press on to have the kind of heart Jesus has, actual righteousness…”
I so appreciate your feed back as it challenged me 🙂
Yes, Sharon — complete is much less intimidating than perfect!
Sharon, how about cooking a meal for her?
Good idea Laura…thanks!
10. When we studied the fool in Proverbs, we learned that is may be wise to draw boundaries. If your enemy is indeed, a fool, according to Proverbs, how can you both drawn boundaries and yet give active love?
I think we should not engage with them for one. As I recall, fools are argumentative, and believe they are always right. It’s best to not argue because you will lose (kinda like teenagers). You can still be civil, and kind, but remember they are “toxic.”
Good, Laura.
12. What questions does Jesus ask in verse 46?
He asks what reward do we get from just loving the ones who are easy to love?
13. Is it wrong to do things because God promises a reward if we do? I think not, though eager to hear your thoughts. If it spurs us to do what is right yet painful, I think that is a good thing. What do you think?
I don’t think it’s wrong; some things are easier than others and don’t need a reward. Others are more difficult and we may avoid them. If we know it is right to follow through because He requires it then we can lean on Him and not our own understanding (Philippians’s 4:8). We know it’s right and we do it for Him.
14. What question does Jesus ask in verse 47? How might you apply this personally?
If you are just kind to your friends you are not set apart. Everyone can do that! It’s the enemies that are most difficult to love. That sets you apart from all the rest. Others will know there is something different about you.
I can only say ugh! for a difficult position we face with our daughter and (now) son in law 🙁 Many of you have followed the crazy story of our daughter and her boyfriend, their shenanigans and our having to deal with them. Now she has gotten married for the wrong reason; if she got married she could be on her boyfriends “case” (as in welfare, ugh) and she could then (somehow) get her medicine. She is very ill with a chronic illness and needs medicine daily. For some reason working and paying for her own health insurance like the rest of us have to do isn’t working for her? Not sure why that is? So…here we are. A new SIL. Hmmm. He has disparaged us in court (we are evil, we live in an evil house, we are not Christian, we are fake, plus many names I can’t share here). She is coming for her sons birthday next week. We have said we don’t want him here (prior to the marriage). Now, we aren’t sure what to do. I don’t think he is coming, but he may show up with her anyway and disregard our request. He is undergoing chemo for non-Hodgkins lymphoma. He is not a healthy person. I feel sadness for them. They are lost people. They need Jesus.
15. Describe the bar Jesus gives us in verse 48. How is this possible?
The bar is perfection. Only with Him.
Whoops…wrong verse in number 13!
it should be Proverbs 3:5. Sorry!
Such a wild situation for you. I pray for the Lord’s wisdom!
6. What is the contrast in Matthew 5:43-44?
Love your neighbor, hate your enemy; but Jesus said to love our enemies and pray for them who persecute you.
7. Can you share a way you have actively loved someone who deeply hurt you?
In the 26 years I have been in the US, I have encountered very minimal “hurts” because of my ethnicity or culture. Through the years, God has been very gracious to let me see beyond the façade of unfriendliness and passive aggression. I have told of an older nurse who bullied me many years ago. Through tears and prayers of others and persistent kindness towards her, I overcame her indifference to me and we became good friends. The last time I saw her, she was being treated for cancer, an opportunity to pray for her came along and I was glad to have known her. She passed away soon after that last meeting. I felt blessed to have prayed for her then.
8. When Billy Graham was addressing the example of Matthew 5:27-28 about looking at a woman lustfully, he said, you can’t help it when the birds (thoughts) fly over your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. How might you apply this to Matthew 5:43-44?
I feel like this means that I have to be sensitive to see the beginning of sin in my life, to nip it in the bud before it consumes me and I grieve the Holy Spirit with my action of anger, bitterness, lust or whatever it might be.
When I would see my nurse friend coming towards me and anger starts welling inside of me, stop right there and then and ask the Spirit to fill my heart with love rather than negative feelings.
Wednesday: That You May Be Sons of Your Father
Many of you have seen this recent video that went viral, but if not, it is worth your time.
8. How is this young man reflecting His Father in heaven? Other comments?
Loving your enemies instead of wishing ill of them. Forgiving the police officer for killing her brother. I do feel for the Dad-I saw his anguish of missing his other son.
9. Read Matthew 5:45.
A. When we love our enemies, who do we resemble?
We are children of the Father in Heaven
B. Whose “sun” does this verse say it is?
God’s sun
C. What is the point the last part of this verse is making?
God loves everybody and He gives the gift of His sun to rise for all and the rain to come to all. He is impartial and provides for all of His creation.
10. When we studied the fool in Proverbs, we learned that it is maybe wise to draw boundaries. If your enemy is indeed, a fool, according to Proverbs, how can you both drawn boundaries and yet give active love?
There is this lady who left our church and will not speak to us when she sees us. Since she is relatively active on Facebook, I would click “like” sincerely on some things to extend goodwill.
11. Ask the Lord to show you how He would have you respond to someone who has deeply hurt you, or to an actual enemy. Share here.
Lord, provide a way for us to see this lady and let there be forgiveness between us. Help me not to be defensive but to let go and love. I need your supernatural power to understand her pain and for you to fill my heart with love for her.
Thursday: The Reward
12. What questions does Jesus ask in verse 46? – “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
13. Is it wrong to do things because God promises a reward if we do? I think not, though eager to hear your thoughts. If it spurs us to do what is right yet painful, I think that is a good thing. What do you think? – I think when we love someone so much, we want to do things for them that will make them happy. I think knowing what our reward in Heaven will be helps us stay focused on our end of life happiness once we meet Jesus. I also think that when people know they will get something for doing a job well done, they will work hard at completing their task. Just like our own parents did, or like we do for our kids, if they do a good job in anything they’ve been asked to do, we enjoy rewarding them. When we know doing the right thing may bring pain to someone else, or even ourselves, it’s much harder to do the right thing, but bringing your thoughts back to how Jesus would feel if you followed through and did the right thing, told the truth even though others may think you shouldn’t, should make all the difference. We need to worry about what Jesus will feel by what we do more than others. We are accountable to Him first.
14. What question does Jesus ask in verse 47? How might you apply this personally? – “And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” I can treat everyone I meet as a friend and acknowledge them by saying hi, or how are you today. Possibly give them a compliment if an opportunity opens itself to do that. Just be friendly to everyone. It may just make a difference in their life that day.
15. Describe the bar Jesus gives us in verse 48. How is this possible? – To be perfect, as He is perfect. We can know how to do that by being in His Word and living our lives like he instructs us to do.