How counter-cultural was Jesus’ view of sex and of women!
In Jesus day, women were second class citizens, often used and abused.
Women flocked to Christianity for good reason!
Today, in countries where the light of Christ is dim,
a woman’s life continues to be so hard.
In biblical days, D. A. Carson explains, “Rabbinic traditions also expected women to wear head coverings to prevent men from lusting after them, whereas Jesus places the responsibility squarely on the men doing the lusting.”
Jesus said:
You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:27-28
When President Jimmy Carter confessed he had to guard against looking at a woman lustfully, the press had a heyday with him. The demands of Jesus seemed impossible to them! How could a man stop from doing this?
But with Christ, all things are possible. We can indeed experience the power to turn from lust.
The Pharisees were content with not committing adultery, but Jesus went to the heart.
The view of sex from the mount is that it is sacred, and must be protected by marriage.
The view of women from the mount is that they are made in the image of God,
and therefore must not to be leered at as objects,
or thrown out when they displeased a husband,
as Josephus explains was often the case in biblical days.
Jesus knew that the reason both sex and women were abused was due to the heart.
That’s why Jimmy Carter was concerned about his heart, and repented of lust.
He knew that lust led to the abuse of women and girls in our world. He said:
God created the sexual union for one man and one woman
within the protection of marriage.
But our world no longer sees sex as sacred
and when sex is used outside of the bonds of marriage,
everyone is hurt, but particularly women and children.
How far we have fallen, losing the beauty the God intended.
But for we who are in Him, there is hope.
We who are married can reclaim the beauty of the sexual union.
And all of us, married or not, can learn from the metaphor Jesus uses that marriage points to a much deeper mystery — that of our relationship with Christ.
I go into this in great detail in my book on The Song of Songs (He Calls You Beautiful) which you can listen to on a free library ap called hoopla. https://www.hoopladigital.com
There is so much in the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:27-32, but this week we will look at it from the perspective of how Jesus was protecting women both from lust and divorce.
The view from the mount is beautiful.
I pray it will encourage your heart.
Sunday:
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
2. If you have a testimony of God helping you to remain pure or recover sexual purity, please share here.
Monday: Protecting Women from Lust
3. For those of you who have been with us in this study, explain how the Pharisees actually didn’t go far enough in their view of the moral law.
4. Read Matthew 5:27-28
A. What does Jesus say?
B. How does this go deeper than the Pharisees view?
C. On whom does Jesus put the responsibility for lust?
(This does mean that women can dress immodestly, for Scripture tells us to be modest.
But it also does not mean we have to cover ourselves completely.)
5. What would you say is the difference between love and lust? Why?
6. Challenge question: What heart idol do you think lust springs from?
7. If you have had success battling lust, what has helped you?
Tuesday: Mortification not Mutilation
8. What does Jesus say in Matthew 5:29-30?
I used to struggle with the above, though I didn’t think Jesus meant it literally, yet how was I to interpret it? John Stott was helpful here:
The command to get rid of troublesome eyes, hands and feet is an example of our Lord’s use of dramatic figures of speech. What he was advocating was not a literal physical self-maiming, but a ruthless moral self-denial. Not mutilation but mortification…Christ means to reject sinful practices so resolutely that we die to them or put them to death…
Because a heart idol is always at work with sin, it is helpful to me to ask “What need am I trying to meet sinfully that God could truly meet?” Repentance and faith are two sides of a coin. It is one thing to die to self in repentance, it is another to trust that God will meet you.
9. If God has met you recently when you turned from sin and trusted Him, share something about it here to encourage the rest of us.
Wednesday: Protecting Women from Divorce
Josephus explains that in biblical days, men would throw their wives out, without a certificate of divorce, for any reason, even burning a meal. Because women could not hold a job, they were often reduced to beg or become prostitutes. I found it so interesting to hear John Stonestreet, who speaks often on Christianity and culture, say that the downward slope that we see happening in our culture today that is so hurtful to women, children, and the family began with no-fault divorce. Before women were protected from men walking away from their families on a whim, but now they are not. I realize that today women walk away too, and the same principle applies: marriage is sacred and vows are to be kept. Are there exceptions? Yes. If the covenant has been broken through unfaithfulness (as is stated here and in Matthew 19) or by abandonment (as is stated in 1 Corin. 7:15) divorce is permitted though not commanded. This is out of mercy for the victim. It is so clear that Jesus was an advocate for women. D. A. Carson recommends Craig Keener’s book And Marries Another for a more extensive explanation of scriptural divorce.
In Matthew 19, the Pharisees were preoccupied with when they could divorce their wives, for they took marriage lightly. Jesus response shows he was preoccupied with keeping marriage sacred.
10. Read Matthew 5:31-32.
A. Why do you think Moses required a certificate of divorce?
B. How does Jesus go deeper in protecting women?
11. If you are married, how do you live in a way that shows you believe your marriage is sacred?
I realize there is so much more that could be plumbed in these passages, but I don’t want to overtax you in these daily studies. But I have given resources for those who are interested.
Thursday-Friday: Love, Lust, and Liberation
This is such an excellent free sermon by Tim Keller. I encourage you, if you like it, to share it on social media — you will be salt and light!
12. What comments or thoughts do you have concerning the above?
Saturday:
13. What is your take-a-way and why?
89 comments
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
That Jesus’ view of sex and women is counter-cultural. What God raised up and made beautiful, sinful man is destroying-but there is hope!! There are so many human-made views in our culture now of sexual identity, sexual union and sex in general. Just as awful is the pervasive-ness of pornography in our culture which demeans women and destroys marriages and children. It has led to the sex slave trade industry. The next thing you know we will be hearing about pedophiles rights. Even Merriam Webster added a meaning to the word “They” in the dictionary to include those who are non-binary. I may have gone a bit too far but this is reality in our culture right now with our younger generations.
2. If you have a testimony of God helping you to remain pure or recover sexual purity, please share here.
Well before I knew Him I thought anything should go sex-wise-mainly sex before marriage. After He grabbed my heart and sent His Holy Spirit to live in me, I didn’t see sex like I used to and I became convicted. He opened my eyes-that is the only way I can explain it. It wasn’t a logical conclusion I came to, it wasn’t that someone had to convince me of it and it wasn’t that I read scripture and tried to obey it to get in good with God. Over time, He. just. changed me and yes that included meditating on His Word. CRUCIAL. If I ever messed up I was convicted and turned. The start of the change as a brand new believer was when I moved in with a guy I met. I was heavily convicted and fled- (that story I told you in the last few posts. ). Yet, I still struggled when I would date someone seriously not to get physical. There were times I refrained and times I struggled but it grew less and less and I never moved in with anyone. God recovered my sexual purity. My husband and I dated for over a year and waited until we were married. That is His power in both of us. 🙂
Just to let you know. Last week I had to go in early to work and come home late due to our flu shot clinics at the Hospital, (the whole month of October). On top of that I had to do FAFSA for my boys college. The rest of this month will be the same in regard to our flu shot clinics so pray! I want to get up early enough to participate this week! I love you all.
Rebecca — your testimony of the Spirit showing you what was right before you saw it in the Word is beautiful.
Your commitment here is admirable — I’m thankful.
Your comments reminded me of something in my son’s sermon on the The Second Coming. He reminded me that the Scripture says “as in the days of Lot” and how that was a time filled with sexual perversion.
Dee, do you have a link to his sermon? Would love to hear it.
Yes, it clearly is getting like the days of Lot.
This was a great article about lust and sex. I wanted to raise awareness about an important issue that you all may have not thought about, modesty in medical settings. Many people in our society have been taught that male medical professionals are exempt from God’s standards. This is a cultural blind spot. The truth is it is very common for male medical professionals to have lustful thoughts toward women they do intimate procedures on.
I wanted to encourage everyone to watch this video, Modesty in Medical Settings From a Biblical Perspective and this video, Testimonies of Christians Who Saw Truth About Male Gynecologists. The first video exposes the truth about history of gynecology. Before medical school was invented in the 1800s, it was unthinkable for males to examine private parts of women who they were not married to. Before modern medicine was invented, only females especially midwives tended to women who had female problems and for childbirth.
Misty
Miaty is new here — so welcome, Misty.
Honesty, I don’t know how I feel about this subject – but neither do I feel right not allowing you to share you opinion. It is food for thought and I will pray about it. This is a tremendous group here, so their opinions will be insightful.
Misty, I have read through your posts and taken time to watch the videos you linked. Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I believe in this area, each believer must follow their own conscience. I am in the medical profession, serving as an RN. I also have a son who is completing his residency as a physician in family medicine, and who must deliver a set number of babies in order to finish his residency. I feel incredibly proud of my son, and awed, too, to think of my ‘little boy’ all grown up and helping to bring a new life into this world. I know that his first concern is for the safety and well being of his patient, the mother, and for the health of her child. He has learned and acquired the skill to be able to do this, as part of his training. I have, personally, had both male and female OB/GYN’s. I have always been treated with respect and dignity by my male doctors, and was never made to feel uncomfortable. I would also say that in many professions, other than the medical ones, a man may lust and/or take advantage of a woman. We have seen men abuse their positions of power in the clergy, in their roles as teachers and coaches, to name a few. Yet we would not say, for example, that we should have female pastors to pastor women, and male pastors to pastor men. In my role as an RN, I have had to not only view, but touch, male genitalia. I see it as nothing more than carrying out my professional duties, as in having to place a catheter. My first concern is for the well-being of my patient and that I am following correct protocol and technique. I can’t ever recall having a lustful thought while carrying out my professional duties. And, I am also reminded of the quote by Martin Luther, who said that we can’t always help the birds flying about our head (the thoughts we have) but we can keep them from building a nest (decide not to entertain those thoughts). I believe this is a personal matter for each to decide on their own, and do not believe that it is a matter pertaining to one’s salvation. On some matters, we can agree to disagree.
Since I posted Misty’s opinion and you-tube video, I should weigh in! I do appreciate thinking about this. I prefer a woman ob/gyn, but I also know it isn’t always possible and I have known of some wonderful male ob/GYN doctors. So thankful for the one who delivered a daughter in a rural town. I watched him skillfully take the umbilical cord wound around my granddaughter’s little neck, rescuing her. I’d be hesitant to say it is wrong to have a male doctor, though I am sure there are cases of abuse.
Dee,
Thanks for letting me contribute here!
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I was delivered by a male gynecologist because in that time there were no female gynecologists in the area my mom lived in and she needed a C-Section. I am well aware that many rural areas did not have a female gynecologist for a long time. Some small towns in the US still only have male gynecologists. I do not question the skills of a male doctor at all, but the concern is that a man should not look at private parts of women he is not married to. Why would God have different standards for a man not in the medical profession and a man who is not in the medical profession? I believe God is a God of moral absolutes.
I encourage you to read the red part of this article, Are Male Gynecologists Biblical? It’s very interesting that a male medical student who was upset that there is an increase in female gynecologists because he believes that women should actively seek out male gynecologists. He wrote about the historical progression of pelvic examination and how men were not allowed to examine women’s sexual organs before 1800s. This paragraph is very relevant: Due to compliance with religious doctrine, men were not allowed to be present at births or at other rituals that dealt with the intimate parts of a woman. Instead, it was the role of the midwife to take care of women and to assist them with their gynecological needs. Interestingly enough, the “Kahun Papyrus” provides some of the earliest evidence of midwifery in history.
Misty
Hi Misty, This is sooo interesting! My desire is not to divert from the life giving content in Dees post but after reading your post I thought of other types of male doctors who have to be exposed to female parts. Male urologists, male gastroenterologists, pulmonologists, family doctors, etc. All of these types of doctors work on parts of the body where female parts are exposed and they see them or have to examine them. My first inclination is that it is in a private doctor’s office and not in public, so modesty and lust in scripture may not be applicable here? I think God would be against it if the doctors heart was in the wrong place. I found this from a trusted source. Might help?
https://answersingenesis.org/family/gender/gender-related-moral-implications-of-doctor-patient-relations/
Rebecca,
You bring up some interesting points. I actually know there are some male family practice doctors who chose to refer their female patients to female doctors for female health issues. You are right there are other specialties where male doctors may see women naked, but the truth is they can choose what they do. I met a male orthopedic surgeon who does hip surgeries who invented garments (half short type) to cover genitals so he does not see any private parts. I have a lot of respect for male doctors who choose to not see private parts of women.
It’s interesting that you brought up the article from Answers in Genesis. There is actually a rebuttal to that article at http://biblicalmodesty.com/AG.aspx. I actually love Answers in Genesis and Creation Museum, but I do not agree with this article by those two doctors.
The fact that a doctor’s office is private does not make any difference. If this was true, then sins committed in private are okay. Lust is a private sin. It is very normal for any man (even best Christian) to have lustful thoughts when he sees a naked woman and this is why modesty is so important even in a private setting.
I encourage you to consider watching that whole video to learn all facts. It addresses a lot of the concerns you have. It is over an hour and half, but worth your time. The video later talks about other specialties and what Christian medical professionals should do.
Misty
I hesitate very much to weigh in here. I am a family nurse practitioner for many years and I deliver intimate medical care to many women and men in my practice. I have also worked with many stellar women and men who perform intimate medical care to men and women. It is so unfair to characterize all men in the medical profession with this sweeping condemnation, and condemnation of the medical field in general (if you view the videos). As Rebecca stated above, there are many reasons to view a person’s body in the course of providing medical care unrelated to GYN or OB. I myself prefer going to a female GYN but will not disparage male GYN providers or other women who choose to go to male GYN or OB providers. I also feel this is not the wholesome encouraging deep Biblical conversation I crave so much and receive on this site.
Great article you cited, Rebecca!
Hi Miriam,
I vacillated about putting Misty’s comment on — but decided I shouldn’t censor an honest opinion and we could have some healthy discussion here. But I also agree, I don’t want to take people off the main point. So, we take honest viewpoints before the Lord, follow our conscience, and continue on!
You are very sweet, dear Dee, and I am learning by your example.
Thanks for allowing me to comment and add my 2 cents! Great conversation! I have helped Misty as a volunteer for Medical Patient Modesty, and can say Misty and this organization does not “characterize all men in the medical profession with this sweeping condemnation” as you suggest. Quite opposite. This organization has concerns for both women AND men in the medical profession and has both helpful info for patients AND physicians. (Check out the site and see the helpful tabs for both)
In fact, part of the danger of this common medical “practice” of having opposite gender Health Care professionals, works both ways. MPM also wants to protect doctors from malpractice or worse, criminal investigation. How vulnerable male OB/GYNs are to “view” women’s intimate private areas, including breasts, not only seeing but touching. As God created men with visual stimulation, (confirmed by science) how difficult it must be to stop the natural reaction such as arousal? Plus add the confusing emotion and reactions from the patients to the mix and you got some real and/or imagined issues!
Personally, I hated this “right of passage” of having a male give us the “exam”, we women were supposed to go through, (so I thought) and get accustomed to. With any unpleasant experience, I believe our thoughts can decision-make for us with cultural encouragement and acceptance.
If we can learn to be accepting of what is unpleasant, we can also re-learn with pause to recover (pardon the pun!) our God-given desire to be respected and covered? This is why I applaud this thought -provoking conversation! Let’s keep it going!
Robin
Robin — what is so refreshing with Jesus in The Sermon on the Mount is that He puts the responsibility on the one lusting rather than the one being lusted after. In other religions women have to cover themselves from head to toe. I think it is important for a male doctor to try to give a woman privacy — and if a woman is uncomfortable with a male doctor, she should try to find a woman. My husband was a back surgeon, and I know he had to make incisions in some women’s backsides, but I am confident he didn’t lust. A nurse here mentioned she has to give male patients catheters, but it doesn’t lead her to lust.
I do think this is a Romans 14 issue. If you feel convicted, then you shouldn’t go to a doctor or nurse of the opposite sex. But I think most feel they can, and are looking for the best medical care.
I see this issue as somewhat distracting to the study, but perhaps it has provoked some good thoughts. Thanks for your input.
I’ve read the posts and watched part of the video, and was just going to stay quiet, but I keep feeling this thought come to my mind so I’m going to just put it out here. In today’s society where same sex attraction is out there, how can we be sure that our women doctors do not have desires for the same sex. If they are practicing medicine it may not be known that there sexual orientation is for women. If that is the case couldn’t lust be in their hearts as well? For me I go to where the experience is and if I feel uncomfortable with a male doctor I will find another one. I think we all need to be aware of how we are feeling when placed in these situations and listen to our hearts.
Julie, I too thought I would remain quiet, mainly because I don’t have knowledge of what is being discussed. However someone prompted me…I had breast cancer a few years ago, detected by the very experienced male surgeon I was referred to by my gyn, a female, whom I trust thoroughly. She referred me because my mom had breast cancer and she wanted me to have the best. Two years later he found the very internal tumor with new technology, 3D mammography. I am thankful he found the tumor, however I have had weird feelings myself that he has to examine my breasts. I also had make GYNs before and thought the same thing. I think you bring up a valid point though, about the same sex attraction these days. I have never really thought much about male versus female, other than what I prefer. I have thought, as I lay there, how “you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all…” might come into play (trying to make myself feel a bit better in that lovely position!); both with male and female drs. I have not read the articles or viewed the videos presented above, and probably won’t due to extreme time constraints in my schedule. My question is what does God say? Is it biblically supported? If so, then I must consider, but I am also human and I believe God would understand if I couldn’t fulfill every single thing brought up in the Bible; that I just do my best to obey. That starts to sound legalistic now to me. Aren’t I just supposed to love Jesus and others and I’m all set? Tough conversation but Dee, I love you for being so transparent. Thank you!
Sunday
1. Your comment that “women flocked to Christianity for good reason” is still happening today. There is a documentary called “Sheep Among Wolves II” and tells the story (I have not watched it yet) of the fastest growing church in the the world…Iran! And it’s headed up by women! https://www.foxnews.com/faith-values/worlds-fastest-growing-church-women-documentary-film
You are so spot on Dee when you said “Today, in countries where the light of Christ is dim, a woman’s life continues to be so hard.” But, God is working and as you also said, “with Christ, all things are possible.” Praise His name!!
Wow, Sharon — that is so very interesting. I will have to watch! Thanks for sharing that.
1. What stands out to you from the above and why? I did a study on the Sermon on the Mount this summer by Jennifer Wilcox I think…regarding the verses on anger and lusting she pointed out that the law required that we not murder or commit adultery…but God’s way is much higher…it goes to the heart and shows that we serve a “much more” God. I love the phrase you use Dee…the view from the Mount! I also love the Jimmy Carter quote.
2. If you have a testimony of God helping you to remain pure or recover sexual purity, please share here. The Lord helped me recover purity before my marriage and has worked in my heart throughout my marriage in the area of remaining sexually pure. I have to be careful to guard my heart always in this regard. I have learned that I have to be careful of watching or reading things that make me less than contented with my husband…romance novels, Hallmark movies or other romantic comedies at times. The more intimate my relationship is with Christ, the easier it is to exercise my sexuality in a healthy way.
Love this from Lucy: “The more intimate my relationship is with Christ, the easier it is to exercise my sexuality in a healthy way.”
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
I guess I am impressed that Jimmy Carter sought to repent in front of others.
I think pornography is just as bad as actually cheating.
2. If you have a testimony of God helping you to remain pure or recover sexual purity, please share here.
Although my mom was the most Godly person I have known, she wasn’t that good at difficult conversation. She never really addressed the whole “save yourself until marriage” topic. When I started dating, I think we (those people my age) thought if you date, having sex is part of the package. Ugh. It’s awful. I remember wanting someone, anyone to care about me, other than my mom, and doing what I could to help that along. Double ugh. I tried to teach my kids by having “the talk,” but you see how that worked out? So, unfortunately, I failed and I don’t have a story that helps this topic. I plan to change the whole way I approach it with the grand babies though; the earlier the better. I think there are actual resources to assist with it as well.
Here’s the book I was thinking of for kids:
https://www.reviveourhearts.com/season/the-princess-and-the-kiss/
Laura, We have used the books that start with The Story of Me, then Before I Was Born…. books that grow with the kids and their questions…. my kids are not yet teenagers so I can’t speak to “success” yet but it certainly has given us a means for honest conversation! I think the whole thing is hard!
Thanks for that info Jill. Who writes those books?
1. What stands out to you from the above and why? The picture of the women covered…a sense of great oppression emanates from it. And the wedding picture – was this staged?! Was this a true moment candidly caught? I really want to know that man’s heart in that moment! Not to judge but hopefully find him ‘innocent.’ (Yikes) it embodies idolatry quite well.
also the topic of women…this seems to be a topic I am running into a lot lately. So I am anxious to study.
2. If you have a testimony of God helping you to remain pure or recover sexual purity, please share here. I technically stayed pure till marriage through the power of legalism… I feared breaking rules and honestly feared vulnerability. This was God’s Grace and mercy though because without that hard stop I can see I would have given in for approval or to meet the needs of others’. Unfortunately this also led to a persistent “wrong” feeling in the marriage bed… struggled and struggled…still do sometimes but study of the Songs of Songs was the beginning of healing there. Also study of covenantal symbolism from Keller’s meaning of marriage.
I suspect staged Jill, but I don’t know.
I have an airbnb above my garage that attracts honeymooners and I’ve been giving them Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage. So good. Good to hear your endorsement.
3. For those of you who have been with us in this study, explain how the Pharisees actually didn’t go far enough in their view of the moral law.
The Pharisees only skirted the surface of the law. In the case of adultery they thought it was just the act. Really, actually looking at other women was also committing the crime as well.
4. Read Matthew 5:27-28
A. What does Jesus say?
Even looking at another is committing adultery.
B. How does this go deeper than the Pharisees view?
The Pharisees thought you had actually go through the act to commit the crime.
C. On whom does Jesus put the responsibility for lust?
The men, because He mentions “women” specifically being looked in the scripture.
(This does mean that women can dress immodestly, for Scripture tells us to be modest.
But it also does not mean we have to cover ourselves completely.)
5. What would you say is the difference between love and lust? Why?
I believe love is more of an emotional thing, not a physical one; in your heart. It covers more than just the physical aspect of going through the motions.
6. Challenge question: What heart idol do you think lust springs from?
Love of self? Comfort?
7. If you have had success battling lust, what has helped you?
Realizing that I may not make it to heaven has kept me in line as an older adult. When you aren’t confident in yourself and someone takes notice of you, it is a slippery slope from that point. Run away! Stay away from places and things that lead to that behavior. Remind yourself that your spouse loves you as you are.
Hello, dear Laura! I enjoy your input here so much. You are so real in your struggles and it is refreshing. I was wondering what you meant by “realizing that I may not make it to heaven as kept me in line as an older adult.” We obtain Heaven by merit of Jesus’ finished work for us on the cross, and not based on our works whether good or bad. I just thought maybe I misunderstood you. I’m praying for your peace in your many stressors of daily life and hope you have a good week!
Laura — I am glad Miriam asked for clarification as I wondered about your statement as well. We love you and want you to have the peace of knowing it has been paid in full!
Miriam, you are kind. I am so imperfect that I can’t even admit that I have work yet to be done on my heart; let’s leave it at that. I have repentance due. I know Jesus paid it ALL. However, being human I still have the notion that I do wrong often (and have in the past) and need redirection often as well. It’s not really about “works” but more so sin (doesn’t God want us to repent prior to heaven? Settle all wrongs with others? What if I don’t/can’t?). I have hurt many people and although I believe God forgives, I also believe that I probably need to make amends with those I have hurt. So hard to admit you are wrong. I’m not sure I can do what needs to be done; there are so many. Ugh. Will He forgive my human-ness? I do have sorrow in my heart for my sin.
Laura, there is no way possible that we can reconcile or even apologize for wrongs and hurts we’ve caused others because we cause more pain than we even recognize. That’s why Jesus had to pay it all. There is no way that we could even know all of the sins we’ve committed.
You can always pray for a person that you’ve sinned against as well.
I see a lot of guilt and self condemnation in your comment I’ll be praying for freedom for you from that.
Thank you Dawn, for talking me off the ledge.
3. For those of you who have been with us in this study, explain how the Pharisees actually didn’t go far enough in their view of the moral law.
They didn’t get to the heart-just addressed outward actions.
4. Read Matthew 5:27-28
A. What does Jesus say?
He addresses the law of not committing adultery by saying that he who even looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery with her in his heart.
B. How does this go deeper than the Pharisees view?
It goes to the heart instead of outward appearances. One could be lusting inward at women daily but outwardly never have an affair or sex outside marriage. No one can see the heart except God so the Pharisees can get away with inward sin before others. They can enact discipline on others who have had affairs when they themselves have lusted in their hearts and yet got away with it.
C. On whom does Jesus put the responsibility for lust?
On the one who lusts, not on the woman he is lusting after.
(This does mean that women can dress immodestly, for Scripture tells us to be modest.
But it also does not mean we have to cover ourselves completely.)
5. What would you say is the difference between love and lust? Why?
Love is other centered and lust is self centered. When lusting, the person you are lusting for is an object to satisfy you. Love is sacrificially giving of yourself to a person you adore. Love loves the person inside out, not for what they look like.
6. Challenge question: What heart idol do you think lust springs from?
Comfort idol, but I see all of them in this.
7. If you have had success battling lust, what has helped you?
Being in the word and praying. Also, just thinking about how I could hurt the person I love and hurt my witness for Christ is enough to make me flee those tempting thoughts.
Good response from Rebecca on overcoming lust:
Being in the word and praying. Also, just thinking about how I could hurt the person I love and hurt my witness for Christ is enough to make me flee those tempting thoughts.
Hi Rebecca…I heard Max Lucas say one time that he had a mentor that asked him to write down a list of everyone who would be impacted if he gave in to sexual temptation…he said that the length of that list and thinking of that pain that he would inflict on others and also how it would tarnish the reputation of Christ in the eyes of the world, have kept him from ever going down that path.
That’s good, Lucy.
Oops Max Lucado
Lucy, So wise.
Monday
3. For those of you who have been with us in this study, explain how the Pharisees actually didn’t go far enough in their views of the moral law.
They didn’t take it to the heart, just the actual act itself.
4. Read Matthew 5:27-28
A. What does Jesus say?
He talks about the commandment, “You must not commit adultery.” But says, you commit adultery in your heart just looking at a woman with lust.
B. How does this go deeper than the Pharisees view?
They thought only the act of committing adultery was sin, but Jesus took it to the heart.
C. On whom does Jesus put the responsibility for lust?
The man…”committed adultery with her in his heart.”
5. What would you say is the difference between love and lust? Why?
Lust is an evil desire to satisfy self. Love is sacrificial…putting the needs and desires of others before yours.
6. Challenge question: what heart idol do you think lust springs from?
I would say the main one would be control but maybe affirmation…feeling the need to be wanted.
7. If you have had success battling lust, what is helped you?
I can’t say I’ve had success as long as I’m in the flesh, but staying in the Word, putting on the armor of God and staying prayerful sure does help.
8. What does Jesus say in Matthew 5:29-30? If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you…”
I think Jesus is saying here…how ruthless are you willing to be to eradicate sin from your life? Are you willing to allow Me to crack open your chest and remove your heart of stone and transplant you with My heart of flesh? Are you willing to let me peel away layers upon layers of worldliness, culture, and misbeliefs?
Because a heart idol is always at work with sin, it is helpful to me to ask “What need am I trying to meet sinfully that God could truly meet?” Repentance and faith are two sides of a coin. It is one thing to die to self in repentance, it is another to trust that God will meet you.
9. If God has met you recently when you turned from sin and trusted Him, share something about it here to encourage the rest of us.
I have lately been stuck in a place of feeling like “I deserve better”. It has cast everything around me in a negative light and brought about deep dissatisfaction. Just a few days ago, I was repenting of my negative speech patterns when the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit said…the problem isn’t your mouth…it’s your heart…ouch! It seemed a bit easier to try and control what comes out of my mouth but totally impossible to try and control what issues forth from my heart! In my marriage to someone who is caught up in a struggle with alcoholism I have felt abandoned and lonely…even though he is physically present. I have been trying to meet my need for intimacy and deep relationship there with no success and thus letting my bitter displeasure and resentment fester. Instead, I need to turn to my husband, my maker and let Him meet my needs.
Thanks for sharing so vulnerably, Lucy!
Lucy, I read this: “In my marriage to someone who is caught up in a struggle with alcoholism I have felt abandoned and lonely…even though he is physically present.” I am so sorry, Lucy. This is so hard and painful. I am hoping that your husband is seeking help. I will pray for both of you, Lucy.
Sunday:
1. What stands out to you from the above and why? – I think that when Jimmy Carter made that statement it shows that any heart needs to be protected. It doesn’t matter how old, or how young you are, we need to guard our hearts at all times. I also love how Jesus regarded women so much higher and more worthy then what others at that time did. I think too that in today’s society, women may still struggle to be equal, but it is so much better now. Women today need to know that they personally are worth something and to not let others tell them they don’t matter.
2. If you have a testimony of God helping you to remain pure or recover sexual purity, please share here. – Before I really knew the deep meaning of being pure, I thought as long as I only had sex with the guy I was dating, that we were committed to each other, though not married yet, that it was ok. But then it hit both of us pretty much at the same time and we stopped until we were married. We no longer wanted to do something that would hurt God in any way. We were committed to each other to stay apart sexually until we got married.
Monday: Protecting Women from Lust
I really love this picture and what it says…
3. For those of you who have been with us in this study, explain how the Pharisees actually didn’t go far enough in their view of the moral law. – I think it was more of just an outward approach and not done with their whole heart in it.
4. Read Matthew 5:27-28
A. What does Jesus say? – That adultery is not just being with someone that you shouldn’t be with, but looking at them lustfully is also committing adultery in your heart.
B. How does this go deeper than the Pharisees view? – Jesus wanted them to really mean what they were saying and not to just make it look good. He wanted their hearts as pure and clean as their talk was.
C. On whom does Jesus put the responsibility for lust? – He blames the man for being lustful
(This does mean that women can dress immodestly, for Scripture tells us to be modest. But it also does not mean we have to cover ourselves completely.)
5. What would you say is the difference between love and lust? Why? – Love to me is a permanent act. That it is forever and though there are different degrees of love, I think in this case, love is with that special someone that you just can’t be without. Where lust is a fleeting moment. You think you love that person, but it is all just surface actions and not being done from the heart. It is a feeling that doesn’t last because it’s not from God.
6. Challenge question: What heart idol do you think lust springs from? – I think jealousy because you see someone that maybe someone else has a relationship with and you think that they are better off than yourself so you want what they have but really shouldn’t think that. It usually never is better on the other side. Like they say the grass is NOT always greener.
7. If you have had success battling lust, what has helped you? – In my answer from yesterday, for me it was knowing that what I was doing while not married was hurting God. I didn’t want to hurt him, I wanted him to be pleased with me and to bless our relationship.
I know the discussion about male gynecologists initiated by Misty and Robin has upset some of you. I honestly was not sure how to handle it, for I do disagree, but want other viewpoints here. When I had second thoughts I tried to remove comments but could not without doing crazy things to the website. Thanks for your graciousness. We take other views before the Lord and sift them, for as Paul says, each of us answer alone to the Lord. I am thankful that Jesus put the responsibility on the luster and not the one lusted after. This is a great group and you can pray for wisdom for me, for I want to keep it this way! Godly people often disagree, but I’m so proud of the loving way we do it here.
Dear Dee! This made me realize the difficulty of hosting a blog, something I hadn’t thought of before. This blog has been so very special to me as the women on it are so like-minded which is a rarity. I will pray that God will give you wisdom and grace. You are such a good example to me. Thank you for all the hard work you do to bring us this blog.
I realized a bit late I had my days mixed up yesterday and was a day ahead of myself! So I’m going back to Monday now😊
3. For those of you who have been with us in this study, explain how the Pharisees actually didn’t go far enough in their view of the moral law. The Pharisees were almost exclusively concerned with the outward appearance of their lives and only nominally concerned with the inner state…think whitewashed tombs!
4. Read Matthew 5:27-28
A. What does Jesus say? Jesus restated the law…With an emphasis on what man hears…You have heard it said…thou shalt not commit adultery…contrasted with His intent…But I say to you…He who has looked on a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery in his heart…sin flows from the heart.
B. How does this go deeper than the Pharisees view? In their strict adherence to the law they thought all was well as long as they did not physically cross the line.
C. On whom does Jesus put the responsibility for lust? On the one who looks. Men are more visual and prone to lust but I’m afraid women today are more and more that way as well.
5. What would you say is the difference between love and lust? I think love is sacrificial while lust lives for the moment for self-satisfaction. Why? I think of the story in 2 Samuel of Amnon and Tamar…it says Amnon loved her but as the story unfolds you see that he really lusted after her…compare to 1 Corinthians 13 to see what love is.
6. Challenge question: What heart idol do you think lust springs from? Lust is from a word meaning desire…something we all do…we were made to desire God and trust His goodness. My guess is that we all have different heart idols that drive our lusts but they all center on desiring something other than God Himself. We want what we want, when we want it no matter what!
7. If you have had success battling lust, what has helped you? My lust doesn’t usually manifest itself sexually but most often manifests in a desire to please people and to be thought well of. This can drive controlling behaviors that are not driven so much by my desire to be in control as by my lack of trust in the One who is in control…trust that He has my best in mind, that His desire is for me. When I recognize what is happening and begin to set my affections upon Him then I am more apt to be satisfied as well as have my desires satisfied.
Found this great article on the topic of lust: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/erik-raymond/fighting-lust-with-lust-slaying-sin-by-savoring-christ/
Very good article: The Expulsive Power of a New Affection!
This is a great article…thanks Lucy! So much good information and this statement really hit me…
“When we are confronted by our hearts we are forced to make a choice between that which God calls beautiful and which our sinful hearts calls beautiful.”
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
The courage of Jimmy Carter to admit that he had to guard against lust. He admitted it; so many won’t admit the dark things of their hearts. I am so glad that Jesus cares for women and took a protective stance for women and children! I also like the picture of the married couple standing among the trees, and the metaphor of Jesus being our Bridegroom.
2. If you have a testimony of God helping you to remain pure or recover sexual purity, please share here.
I never thought it was wrong to have fantasies about other men, thinking that as long as it was in my mind and I wasn’t doing anything physical, it was okay. I’m not only talking about sexual fantasies, but also romantic fantasies, like Hallmark movie-scenes. I used to escape to these daydreams when I was unhappy in my marriage, feeling unfulfilled. There was a specific time when the Lord helped me to see that I was, in a way, committing adultery, but the first thing He pointed out was that it was spiritual adultery because I was not coming to Him, but turning to these to get my needs met. There are times when I can still lapse into this form of impurity, but am quicker to turn from it, or, to not go down that path.
Susan…I have had that struggle with the “romantic”fantasy thoughts and love your description of how the Lord showed you that you needed to turn to Him. He is showing me the same.
Tuesday
8. What does Jesus say in Matthew 5:29-30
If your right eye or right hand makes you stumble and leads you to sin, tear it out or cut it off and throw it away, better to lose one part of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. I like what the Amplified puts in parenthesis, “that is, remove yourself from the source of temptation.”
9. If God has met you recently when you turn from sin and trusted him, share something about it here to encourage the rest of us.
I am really embarrassed to share this, but if it encourages anyone, that’s what’s important.
Last week I had to go to the DMV to renew my drivers license. When asked if I have heart problems, a stroke or seizures I quickly said no…which was a lie! Within my mind I reasoned a whole bunch of scenarios. Such as, I wouldn’t be given a license or they’d give me forms to be filled out by my doctor etc. I received my license and left. The whole way home the Holy Spirit was really working on my conscience and I was making all kinds of justifications for why I lied. Sin has a way of coming between you and God and I knew that that was not what I wanted. So I drove back to the DMV and thankfully got the same person, shared with him my lie and health problem, apologized and he thanked me for being honest! Yes, I was given forms to have my doctor fill out BUT I rejoiced all the way home. I did turn from my sin but I also had to trust in God and still do for whatever the outcome may be…He knows best!
WOW Sharon, what courage you had that God would take over. The trust you have in Him is amazing here.
Oh Sharon — what a great vulnerable testimony. Thanks so for sharing. I get it!
Tuesday: Mortification not Mutilation
8. What does Jesus say in Matthew 5:29-30? – If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. As a young Christian these two verses can be very scary and overwhelming. To think some may take this literally. It is so comforting to know that God speaks to us in many different ways so we can try and understand what he really means.
I used to struggle with the above, though I didn’t think Jesus meant it literally, yet how was I to interpret it? John Stott was helpful here:
The command to get rid of troublesome eyes, hands and feet is an example of our Lord’s use of dramatic figures of speech. What he was advocating was not a literal physical self-maiming, but a ruthless moral self-denial. Not mutilation but mortification…Christ means to reject sinful practices so resolutely that we die to them or put them to death…
Because a heart idol is always at work with sin, it is helpful to me to ask “What need am I trying to meet sinfully that God could truly meet?” Repentance and faith are two sides of a coin. It is one thing to die to self in repentance, it is another to trust that God will meet you.
9. If God has met you recently when you turned from sin and trusted Him, share something about it here to encourage the rest of us. – I love how God always is showing his love for me. And us. When I try to do something on my own, (my control sin) it never works out, but when I just give my whole self to Him, he is there every time giving me freedom from that control. I know when I wanted to stay mad at my step son and his wife for what they said about us, it was doing nothing to them. I was the one that was suffering. I finally cried out to Jesus and said you be the judge they need. I don’t want to feel mad and hurt anymore, and as soon as I did that, the weight of that sin was gone. Will I see the Lord’s judgement against them, maybe not, but I know I can trust that in time, in HIS TIME, it will be done. I don’t need to worry or carry around the bitterness anymore.
Great illustration from Julie:
I know when I wanted to stay mad at my step son and his wife for what they said about us, it was doing nothing to them. I was the one that was suffering. I finally cried out to Jesus and said you be the judge they need. I don’t want to feel mad and hurt anymore, and as soon as I did that, the weight of that sin was gone. Will I see the Lord’s judgement against them, maybe not, but I know I can trust that in time, in HIS TIME, it will be done. I don’t need to worry or carry around the bitterness anymore.
8. What does Jesus say in Matthew 5:29-30?
He says to cut out your eye if you lust for someone. He also says to cut off your good hand if you sin. He says it’s better to be less one body part then to be thrown into hell.
10. Read Matthew 5:31-32.
A. Why do you think Moses required a certificate of divorce?
I guess it was an agreement and it needed to be the evidence for the act?
B. How does Jesus go deeper?
He says that the woman, who will end up with another man (potentially) will commit adultery on the first. But, he also says if she ends up getting married again they will also be an adulterer.
11. If you are married, how do you live in a way that shows you believe your marriage is sacred?
My husband and I have made mistakes in our marriage. We both have agreed that no matter what, we will remain together. We have not yet been tested to the fullest, but that doesn’t mean it won’t come at some point. We must believe that through Him (and faith) we will remain solid in our foundation and therefore when the time comes (if it does) we will be strong.
The men were sinning by not giving them certificates when they threw them out — so it made their loss even worse. I don’t know however, details — if someone wants to research!
I found this from Spurgeon…
“Moses insisted upon ‘awriting of divorcement,’ that angry passions might have time to cool and that the separation, if it must come, might be performed with deliberation and legal formality. The requirement of a writing was to a certain degree a check upon an evil habit, which was so engrained in the people that to refuse it altogether would have been useless, and would only have created another crime.”
Excellent, Sharon!
Thanks Sharon!
10. Read Matthew 5:31-32.
A. Why do you think Moses required a certificate of divorce? As a way of protecting women from a husband who “in the heat of the moment” was ready to send his wife packing. Things often look much better after the storm has blown over.
B. How does Jesus go deeper in protecting women? Jesus takes things back to the heart level…idolatry…the lust that led to adultery. The people felt like divorce was justified for any reason which then allowed them to sidestep their sinful heart issues. Marriage is a sacred space in which women and children are to have the protection and nurturing and security in which to flourish.
11. If you are married, how do you live in a way that shows you believe your marriage is sacred? I don’t want to digress from the topic of the sacredness of marriage, but I do think the church has also taught something’s that have created bondage around marriage for women. And I have found myself struggling to truly grasp what it means to keep your marriage sacred versus what it looks like to draw healthy boundaries. But, I do not interact with men outside of family on social media, I do not flirt, I stay in the word, pray for my husband, think of how my actions would affect my 2 sons, etc. I am careful what girlfriends I share marital problems with as some are quick to give worldly advice.
Great principles, Lucy.
10. Read Matthew 5:31-32.
A. Why do you think Moses required a certificate of divorce? – Was it because it made it more official would make them think more about it because more work was involved and would help the women so others knew the husband sent her away.
B. How does Jesus go deeper in protecting women? – It seems like the fault was more against the man
11. If you are married, how do you live in a way that shows you believe your marriage is sacred? – Though I fail every day as a wife, we are committed to each other unconditionally. We try to understand each other but it doesn’t always work in the moment. We made a vow before God and our family and friends and are in our marriage for the long haul. Lately though, I have to say, I’m thinking we need to go to counseling which our church offers. Being in a blended family, even with grown kids, is not an easy task. My husband grew up completely different then I did and of course I raised my kids the way I grew up which is not how he raised his. We need to continue have God in the center like the Bible says a 3 stranded cord is not easily broken.
Wednesday
10. Read Matthew 5:31-32
A. Why do you think Moses required a certificate of divorce?
“It was to show that the woman hadn’t forsaken her husband, to show she was free to remarry as far as her husband was concerned, and to show that she was not to be slandered as some harlot.” John MacArthur
It really was to protect the woman.
B. How does Jesus go deeper in protecting the woman?
By making divorce only legitimate in the case of adultery. She couldn’t be divorced because she burnt the toast or forgot to make the bed etc.
11. If you are married, how do you live in a way that shows you believe your marriage is sacred?
We have always avoided situations that may cause temptation and stay away from any appearances of evil. I am so very thankful for the marriage counseling we received and the understanding of Ephesians 5: 21-33. We have had our ups and downs but I know that my husband loves me and because of that love I can easily be submissive to him and his leadership in our home. I thank the Lord for a godly husband who I know prays for me and I for him. We also have great discussions about what He is teaching us though His Word.
Thanks for that from John MacArthur, Sharon.
Since I knew your husband as a teenager, this delights me.
Wow, listened to the sermon on the way in to work. There is a lot of stuff in it. Will be listening again probably again after that.
3. For those of you who have been with us in this study, explain how the Pharisees actually didn’t go far enough in their view of the moral law.
The Pharisees liked to follow the rules of their laws, placing the importance on external behavior. They believed that following the rules made them right with God. But so often, they lacked compassion and their hearts, the inward man, was very far from God. One example is how they made sure to tithe, but shirked their responsibility to care for aged parents, saying that because they were giving to God, they had no money to support their parents.
4. Read Matthew 5:27-28
A. What does Jesus say?
That adultery is more than a physical act. Looking at someone with lust means that you are committing adultery in your heart.
B. How does this go deeper than the Pharisees view?
Their view is that adultery means one commits a sexual act with another person. Jesus says you don’t have to do anything physically; it’s what is going on in your mind and heart that matters. To God, it’s the same thing.
C. On whom does Jesus put the responsibility for lust?
On the one who is looking lustfully.
5. What would you say is the difference between love and lust? Why?
I believe lust is about getting your own needs met, and usually, instant gratification. It sees the other person as an object and there to meet your needs. It doesn’t care about getting to know the other person: who they are, what they care about, their dreams, interests, etc… Lust only wants one thing. Lust is a lack of respect for the worth and dignity of the other person. Love means you will hold off from getting what you want in order to best meet the needs of the other person. Love is not using another person.
6. Challenge question: What heart idol do you think lust springs from?
I would say power/control. Because as the pornography industry demonstrates, women are seen only as objects, to do with as you please. It is documented that when men view pornography, especially the graphic and violent kind, it often escalates into them acting out violence against women.
7. If you have had success battling lust, what has helped you?
I don’t know if it’s really lust that I have struggled with so much as just wanting the emptiness to go away….longing for intimacy (not sexual here), conversation, companionship, friendship, a little bit of romance. To be cherished. I know to be fulfilled, I need to look to the Lord for these things.
Would love an update on how your heart is doing as an empty nester, Susan – -and if your husband has continued to be somewhat more attentive– if you wish!
8. What does Jesus say in Matthew 5:29-30?
Jesus says that if your right eye or your right hand cause you to sin, better to get rid of them than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. I agree that this isn’t to be taken literally, but rather, Jesus means seriously, do whatever it takes to get rid of the sin. If a man or woman is strongly attracted to another person in their workplace, it may mean that you resign your position, face unemployment, and go find another job.
10. Read Matthew 5:31-32
A. Why do you think Moses required a certificate of divorce?
Thanks to others who researched: so that the woman could be divorced ‘respectfully’ and she could marry again.
B. How does Jesus go deeper in protecting women?
Jesus says here that you’d better think twice before you divorce your wife; is it because she has been unfaithful? I read once that in those times a man could divorce his wife for trivial reasons, but Jesus is equating that with forcing the woman into a state of being considered an adulteress through no fault of her own. The certificate of divorce was maybe seen as an escape clause; again, following the rule but not caring about what you were doing to your wife.
11. If you are married, how do you live in a way that shows you believe your marriage is sacred?
By keeping boundaries. I don’t have any men who are ‘friends’ on FB. I do not interact with men at church. But I know it’s not just the outward behavior that matters. It’s also about keeping ‘other men’ out of my thoughts.
Not having male friends on facebook is interesting. I find that if I don’t personally know them, it has always been that they are “fishing.” And it’s sort of sad, in case one really is interested in spiritual things, but I don’t accept friendship offers anymore – -it just leads to trouble or hurting feelings.
12. What comments or thoughts do you have concerning the above?
The most impactful thing to me in the sermon by Keller was toward the end when he described the difference between the pagan and early church cultures by saying…Pagans were promiscuous with their bodies but stingy with their money while Christians were promiscuous with their money and stingy with their bodies. This cultural shift is what made life safe and secure for women and children and allowed life itself to flourish. It is what made Christianity so appealing! The undoing of this shift, even among many professing Christians, is contributing heavily to a world that is unsafe for women and children and many lives are disintegrating. Keller described lust as separating the body from the soul…or as being a disintegrated view of an object…lust is impersonal in nature and inordinate in intensity. It is no wonder then that there is a disintegration of the fabric of society when lusts are given free reign! Reminds me of 2 Timothy 3:2- 5…For people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.
I always remember this line from Keller too, Lucy:
Pagans were promiscuous with their bodies but stingy with their money while Christians were promiscuous with their money and stingy with their bodies.
13. What is your take-a-way and why? Jesus is enough when I surrender my lusts and accept His love. I know all too well the pain of the criticisms of the world and how it says we are never enough…which is true…but, it doesn’t ever finish that truth…I was never intended to be enough as Jesus has done that for me!
Lord Jesus, I surrender to Your love and beauty and ask that You quicken my heart with your love. Birth in my heart a deeper desire for You and a right response to Your gaze on me. I repent of clinging to idols of romance and the longing to find my fulfillment only in my husband or when that fails…in my children. I fervently pray that my husband would allow himself to become vulnerable before You so that he can glimpse how deeply he is loved by You and find the healing he needs. I pray that even if this does not happen in this side of eternity, that I will turn to You alone to satisfy my deepest longings and it will be enough.
3. For those of you who have been with us in this study, explain how the Pharisees actually didn’t go far enough in their view of the moral law. The Pharisees focused on the technical actions and not the intent or worship of the heart.
4. Read Matthew 5:27 -28
A. What does Jesus say? Jesus points out that the technical action of restraining physical sin is not enough. He says that the intent of the heart and the thoughts we purposefully entertain are the real separation from God and his will. Interesting that he implies that pharisees thought they could play out any scenario in their mind perpetuating emotions and desires but if they physically restrained themselves they thought they could still consider themselves righteous.
B. How does this go deeper than the Pharisees view? because it looks at the root cause of sin. True sin is not a physical action but a heart desire separate from God, this of course manifests usually as physical action. Because our actions manifest from our deepest beliefs. Every. Time.
C. On whom does Jesus put the responsibility for lust? on the person who is lusting.
5. What would you say is the difference between love and lust? Why? i’ll be honest. In my upbringing and life lust has always equated with sex. Love in marriage includes sex and so always seemed “lustful“. After studying song of songs I began to see the “making of love“ as much different than just sex. Lust is selfish and looks only to satisfy self. Love seeks to satisfy the other because love is not for self but for the other, serving the other because you want to see them happy, you want their best, you want to bless them, and help them.
6. Challenge question: what heart idol do you think lust Springs from? Truly I think that it could spring from any of the heart idols. I just listened to a Keller sermon that described a man lusting from his control idol. However I could also see lust coming from a comfort or approval idol.
7. If you have had success battling lust, what has helped you? I have not struggled specifically with lusting after physical forms. But I have lusted after characteristics. Seeing men with different abilities, especially one that my husband is not strong in, can invoke a lustful feeling in that I want to connect with that characteristic. I have friends who have struggled as well with the same. The thing that helps is truth to my soul that my husband was given by God and therefore is the partner I need. Also the truth that I was not meant to have the perfect partner to meet my needs but rather I was given the husband I have to continue to grow, be challenged and be refined. To seek God above all and allow him to mold me to be more like Christ. But also I was given the husband I have to help him (it is not all about me, even though my heart thinks it should be at times).
I jump for joy that The Song of Songs changed your perspective, Jill!
I learned so much from this sermon. It is fantastic!
Wasn’t it?!!!!
One thing that really hit home for me was when he talked about Jesus who was perfect had a physical body but the devil who was imperfect did not. Also, how God created the beautiful design of sex to have the earthly view create a perverted substitute of the idea (the pagan and prude ideas of sex).
8. What does Jesus say in Matthew 5:29-30? Jesus said that sin is so serious we should be willing to definitively and painfully rid ourselves of whatever leads us to it. In my legalistic days I took this literally… afraid that someday I would have to follow through because of a misstep. I even threw a ring out a car window on the interstate because of this passage, thinking if I got rid of it my intentions would change. We so often justify “both” … but Christ here, I think, is saying that whatever leads us/causes us to sin won’t change, you can’t worship both get rid of it once and for all.
9. If God has met you recently when you turned from sin and trusted Him, share… the job I have had this last 4 months has been brutal. The culture is fairly toxic but it has bubbled up my approval idol something fierce. I have seen my deeply seeded misconception that to be a good witness and Christian I must be perfect, perform flawlessly…. it is a heavy, heavy burden. While I wish I could just cut it off and be done it is a much slower turn than that and may include a conclusion that I am in the wrong department… a conclusion that perhaps I am not best suited for this particular type of nursing (see even there I could not type “I am not good at…”). I start an additional position on Monday, a different kind of nursing, but my struggle for approval is still bubbling. He assures me in His Gospel love. My actions and choices must be true to the heart He has put in me to love Him and love others…I think when this finally dethrones approval I will feel freedom but it is a slow painful reprogramming of a confused heart. He never fails to remind me of Truth.
10. Read Matthew 5:31-32.
A. Why do you think Moses required a certificate of divorce? To keep men accountable for their actions. Not only did the certificate force then to stop, think, and commit but the wife could also prove what had been done to her. (Just my speculation.)
C. How does Jesus go deeper in protecting women? He narrows the door severely and basically says that the only reason you can divorce is a break in the covenant, no convenience or flash decisions. We must persevere through refining circumstances (not speaking of abusive situations). While this directly effected women of the day it fits into Christ’s actions of standing up for those who had no advocate or worth in society. Christ loved those that society saw as disposable…and He still does to this day through His church.
11. If you are married, how do you live in a way that shows you believe your marriage is sacred? We are far from perfect and have had/do have our own issues and trials but we simply try to be kind to each other. We do not slander or complain about each other to others, though with trusted individuals (1or 2) we objectively ask for Godly input into our frustrations. We try to kiss and hug every day (at least once!). We do not speak of others in a way that opens the door to thinking it would be better to marry another. We pray for each other (tho we are terrible at praying together).
Enjoyed Keller’s sermon. He seems to always bring it back to the Gospel!
I think there is a big problem if God doesn’t address and allow divorce for domestic violence and verbal abuse. As you haven’t mentioned it your god is against human rights.
Anny — I do think God allows divorce in these cases. A book by Craig Keener called “And Marries Another” goes into this — it falls under the category of abandonment, and he explains scripturally why domestic violence and verbal abuse is the worst kind of abandonment. I hope you see this! Dee