Before we proceed in our study of the person the book of Proverbs calls a fool, we need to consider the warning of Jesus:
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother [some translations say “without cause”] will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother “Raca” is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, “You fool!” will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matt. 5:22 NIV 1984)
This certainly can make us fearful of calling anyone a fool, as our hearts are deceitful, and we may be wrong. Yet, then, how are we to apply the many Proverbs that describe a fool and warn us to set boundaries with them?
Matthew Henry is helpful in asking us to consider the heart motive in considering that one might be a fool. Is it to protect yourself and others or is it a heart of malice churning out hatred? When we have been hurt by someone, the natural response, says Philip Yancey, is to hurt back, and the supernatural response is to forgive.
But if your heart is longing to discern in order to deal wisely with another, then it seems prudent to consider if you are indeed dealing with a proverbial fool. Jesus tells us that a tree will be known by its fruit. If you see the bad fruit of a fool season after season, then proverbs warn you to protect yourself. We’ll look at some of those warnings this week. I like the image Jan Silvious uses of retreating to your castle when you see a fool coming, pulling up your drawbridge, yet still waving warmly to him from your tower so as not to provoke him. However, if the fool lives in your castle with you, you may need to learn how to “detach” emotionally, which Jan will explain.
One important fact is that a true believer cannot be a fool, for the Holy Spirit is in him producing good fruit. There are many who call themselves Christians who are not. Though only God can see a heart, and we may think a wheat is a tare or a tare is a wheat, if we see enough consistent red flags of a proverbial fool, it is not a sin to draw emotional or even physical boundaries.
Sunday:
- What stands out to you from the above and why?
- As a review of last week, what are three important red flags that a true fool will consistently show?
- How have you spied God in your life in the last 24 hours?
Monday: Danger of Hellfire
Jesus talked frequently of hell, and we need to listen. We also need to keep Scripture in context so as not to misinterpret. On the one hand, He tells us we are in danger of hell if we call our brother a fool (Matthew 5:22) and likewise, that God will not forgive us if we do not forgive our brother (Matthew 6:15) Yet we also know that just as good works cannot get us into heaven and bad works cannot keep us out. So, let’s consider this in light of all of Scripture.
4. Read Matthew 5:3-10. Can you see the gospel in Christ’s opening to the Beatitudes? If so, how?
5. Based on the prevailing teaching of Scripture, do our good works get us into heaven and our bad works put us into hell? Explain and give scriptural support.
I think Andrew Peterson’s song is appropriate here:
6. Challenge question: How does Peterson resolve the “apparent contradiction” between the psalm that says only one whose heart is pure can ascend the hill of the Lord and the fact that none of us have pure hearts?
7. How have you seen God in your life in the last 24 hours?
Tuesday: Malice in Your Heart
8. Read Matthew 5:21-22
A. A murderer in the Old Testament was subject to judgment, but how does Jesus go further here?
B. How does the beginning of this passage lend light to the end?
C. How would you explain the “apparent” contradiction between the warning concerning calling your brother a fool, and the warnings of proverbs to help you recognize a fool?
9. Read Ephesians 4:31-32
A. What does the word malice mean? (The word malicious comes from the same root.)
B. What is the opposite behavior of wishing malice according to Ephesians 4:32?
10. Read Proverbs 24:17-20
A. Why, according to verses 17-18 is it foolish to rejoice when your enemy falls?
B. Why, according to verses 19-20 should we not fret about evil doers?
11. What application can you make from today if you have someone that Proverbs calls a fool who is repeatedly hurting you or those you love?
Wednesday: The Dangers Fools Present
While we must forgive those who hurt us, it is not wrong to set boundaries with someone who consistently has the red flags of a fool: is always right, uses anger to control, and trusts, not in God, but in his own heart.
12. What warnings do the following Proverbs give you concerning fools? Share the warning, and, if possible, how you might apply it.
A. Proverbs 13:20
B. Proverbs 14:7
C. Proverbs 17:12
D. Proverbs 17:21 & 17:25
E. Proverbs 26:6
F. Proverbs 26:11
Thursday: What If You Live With A Fool?
It’s a little hard to pull the drawbridge up if you live with your fool: a spouse, a parent, or possibly an adult child. (Little children should not be considered proverbial fools, for Proverbs 22:15 says “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline will drive it from them.”) So what should you do if your cohabiting fool constantly flies off the handle at you berating or baiting you? Watch this video from Jan Silvious and share your comments.
13. What thoughts or comments do you have on “emotional detachment?” Have you ever put this into practice?
14. What did Jesus do when He was being abused, according to 1 Peter 2:23?
Friday: When Can You Divorce a Fool?
What I am about to share is controversial, and I may be wrong, but here is my opinion. In his book, “And Marries Another” by Craig Keener, and also in an article he wrote for Christianity Today, he looks at Jesus’ exceptions for divorce in Old Testament light. Jesus gave two exceptions in which the wronged spouse, because the covenant has been broken, could seek divorce: adultery and abandonment. Adultery is clear, abandonment is not so clear. When have you been abandoned? Is it only when that spouse has physically left you high and dry? Perhaps. But Keener goes back to the laws of Moses which tells a man to provide shelter, marital rights, and protection to his wife. Keener feels that not just physical but constant emotional abuse is a violation of protection, and therefore abandonment. That’s tricky since our hearts are deceitful. But I have advised women who are constantly being verbally abused to consider separation with the stipulation of returning if the spouse is willing to get Christian counseling and bear the fruit of repentance. That tends to either lead to healing or to the refusal of the spouse to get help. If he refuses to get help, I have advised the wronged spouse that he or she may stay separated, drawing up her drawbridge. Can he or she divorce? I’m not sure, but I think possibly, but I know it is not wrong to separate. Often the perpetrator who will not repent, when separated, will initiate divorce or live with another, in which case, Christ frees you on the basis of adultery. Am I being legalistic? Perhaps, but that is what I feel is right in my heart. I’ll be interested in your reactions to Craig Keener.
Here is a video from Craig Keener:
15. Comments and reactions?
Saturday:
16. What is your take-a-way and why?
152 comments
15. Comments and reactions?
How about if it is the other way around? If it is the wife who treats the husband wrongly and this is going on for a long time (many years) by not respecting him and always challenging his authority-is there a ground for divorce? Is this “abandonment” of our calling as wives?
Maybe I am digressing here. I do like the way Craig Keener explained remarriage and divorce clearly here. I believe in separating as well, Dee, but not sure if I want to remarry if my husband divorces me (which for us is not in the picture by the grace of God). And I know of several Christian friends who divorced and their second marriages seemed to be better than the first.
That’s certainly sin. Is is abandonment? I wouldn’t be comfortable calling it that. It does show how tricky this issue is!
I appreciate your thoughts Dee and Mary, Chris and Susan. I have not had any divorce in my immediate family (though a niece has been abandoned by her husband and left her to take care of her 2 children). In the Philippines, divorce is rare-a very much longer process. Indeed it is a very tricky issue. I find that I cannot seem to find somebody to have an intelligent discussion with anybody other than my husband about divorce. This is actually a bold thing for me (never been bold-sigh-idol of approval here) to bring up but I value the wisdom and loving thoughts of the ladies in this blog. And that I will not be judged here because I piped up about a very sensitive issue. My husband and I are ministering to a Christian couple who are going through a divorce right now. My head tells me I am over my head to deal with their issues but my heart says I love both of them, therefore, I can be there for both of them. I do need God’s help. Thank you all!
thanks, Bing. It is such a hard issue. With eternity in mind, we want to do the right thing. It is interesting our merciful God has given us exceptions, but we have to be so cautious because of our deceitful hearts. And yes, this seems a safe place — what a gift.
15. Short video on divorce and remarriage.
It was new to me to consider ‘breaking covenant’ (I might not have the term right.) I thought I heard him to say that the person’s pain was a prime consideration for the rightness of divorce, but maybe I got mixed up. Not sure what I think of this video. He was obviously trying to be very careful, and I appreciate that. I remember Ann Landers said once that she originally thought no divorce, come hell or high water, until she found out how much hell/high water was out there. I don’t know people’s stories, and even if I did, I don’t know how God views it. With no desire to step on toes or offend/hurt anyone, I do think we go to divorce too easily. Maybe it is my background. Both my parents had been married before, and they should never have married each other. But they did, and God blessed it. When they came together, neither had anything financially or family wise. Together, they dug out of debt and had things paid off with money in the bank. It wasn’t all wonderful on the family front, but there was family. When they divorced, that was the end of any family, and they went back to each living hand to mouth. They weren’t believers, though partway through their time together my mother made a profession of faith, though that profession never had fruit to it. Long story, but you can see why I’m leery of divorce as something that will make things better.
Marriage is not easy, Mary. I know that everyone’s experience, even within the same family, can be different regarding divorce. Like other areas of life that are hard, I believe as well in marriage, if we persevere through the hard parts, we can come out refined and better for it in the end. Dealing with my husband’s hurt (what I perceive to be the result of his childhood) is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I definitely have had times I thought I would rather walk away. The pain of my parents divorce kept me where I am, stubbornly seeking healing for my husband and our family. Ultimately, I’m sure my reasons are selfish. Being honest, I think we all care more about ourselves than anything, but I do believe the Lord desires wholeness in everything. Brokenness comes from the enemy.
All of that being said, I believe each individual must choose between themselves and the Lord what is right for them. The Lord knows a person’s heart as he knew David’s. We cannot judge someone’s heart. I stood in judgement against my mother’s decision to divorce my dad for many, many years. It was wrong and only added to the pain of the divorce and yet that pain is a reality of broken relationships. Can anyone go through a divorce without pain? No. Relationships are hard. Divorce is even harder. It is like a death except everyone is still living and experiencing that grief over and over at every family gathering and in every memory of what used to be or what could have been. By God’s grace my dad finally came to a place where he could forgive my mom and was able to say, ‘She did what she had to do.’ While I can understand that, the grief and hurt are still so hard that I find in myself a place that is still still hurting very deeply from where I felt my mom gave up on our family. In her eyes, it was survival and without the Lord or a church family to get her through that time, understandable.
So, am I doing better for my kids? They certainly are experiencing hurt in their relationship with their parents. But don’t we experience hurt in other relationships as well? Walking away doesn’t put an end to it. Facing it and seeking victory over it is all we can do in this life. Tools like Jan has given, help. A strong prayer life helps. Supportive Christian believers in your lives help.
I don’t want you all to have the wrong idea about my family. We are on the whole, healthy and happy. There is this underlying illness, however, (that we don’t share with the world) which needs healing. I am thankful for some of the truths and tools brought out in this lesson that have given me new ways to look at our situation. Some very healthy conversations have resulted and I can see God at work. I believe we are headed towards healing.
His Word is a light to our path. Psalm 119:105.
To Him be the Glory forever and ever.
Amen.
Wow. You share so honestly and painfully the reality of divorce, and the pain that continues to be experienced at every family gathering and having memories of what used to be, or what might have been. I have not experienced it myself, yet know many who have. I am inspired by your determination to continue to work towards healing in your own marriage. Thank you for sharing.
I tend to avoid sharing, but I’m learning that being vulnerable enough to share can help others. The Lord uses our testimony to help another in the body of Christ.
Blessings to you, Susan, and prayers that God will guide you in your situation.
Thank you Chris. I’ve heard John Stonestreet say that the cultural dominoes began to fall with “no-fault” divorce. When divorce was easy it became an epidemic. And I’ve heard Keller say that a couple that hangs in there is usually so glad 5 years later.
Thursday
13. What thoughts or comments do you have on “emotional detachment?” Have you ever put this into practice?
I really like her saying, “in their presence, but not under their power.” And it is so true that information is power. I had to put this into practice with my family member, although I didn’t do it soon enough but nevertheless it’s how I handle it now. This person uses anger which my husband handles much better than me, but I have learned…”This person is not going to get to me.” The sad part is the relationship is very shallow, but I refuse to give out more information!
14. What did Jesus do when He was being abused, according to 1Peter 2:23?
He did not retaliate when insulted, nor threaten revenge when He suffered. He let God take care of it as He always judges fairly.
12. What warnings do the following proverbs give you concerning fools? Share the warning, and, if possible, how you might apply it.
A. Proverbs 13:20 If you hang out with fools, your life will fall to pieces (The MSG). I may have fools in my life by no choice of my own, but I’d better make sure I have those in my life who are wise to counteract the influence of the foolish ones. And, I shouldn’t voluntarily choose to be close to a fool.
B. Proverbs 14:7 Escape quickly from the company of fools; they are a waste of your time and words. I shouldn’t spend much of my time with foolish people; if I see them coming, run the other way! It sounds like I shouldn’t waste my time thinking that I can “help” them, either.
C. Proverbs 17:12 It would be better for me to encounter an angry bear than a fool who is bent on his folly. This seems to say that a fool can be downright scary when pursuing a foolish path, and I need to steer clear.
D. Proverbs 17:21 & 17:25 These are saying that having a child who is a fool makes the lives of the parents miserable, painful, and bitter. I am thankful that while they can act foolishly, I do not believe that any of my children are fools.
E. Proverbs 26:6 Don’t count on a fool to do something really important for you, like delivering a message. You’re only asking for trouble. A fool is not someone I should depend on when I really need something done right.
F. Proverbs 26:11 “As a dog eats its own vomit, so fools recycle silliness”. (The MSG) I hate seeing a dog eat its own vomit – YUCK. It seems to say that the fool just never learns from his mistakes; he just keeps doing the same foolish things over and over again. Maybe this tells me I shouldn’t expect a fool to be any different than they’ve always been.
13. What thoughts or comments do you have on “emotional detachment?” Have you ever put this into practice?
I love this and yes I am doing that now but didn’t realize it and emotional detachment is indeed so freeing. It is sweet to be encouraged to keep on keeping on by Jan.
14. What did Jesus do when He was being abused, according to 1 Peter 2:23?
Jesus entrusted himself to God who judges justly.
13. What thoughts or comments do you have on “emotional detachment”? Have you ever put this into practice?
So I agree with what Jan is saying about emotional detachment. She makes some good points, such as you don’t share personal information with a fool, because that gives them power over you. You talk about the weather, etc…. Yes, I do practice this with the person that I mentioned in a previous post who has hurt me repeatedly and can be just mean. I never share anything personal with her and keep the conversations superficial. It’s not too hard because I don’t live with her. I am wondering, though, just how easy it is to be in the presence of a fool venting full-blown anger and just be saying to yourself, “You’re not going to get to me….” That happened to my older sister once, in the presence of our ‘middle’ sister. ‘Middle’ sister started an argument with my older sister, in front of my dad, at her home, and was really verbally attacking her. My older sister tried to walk away, but was followed and continually berated. By the grace of God, my older sister kept quiet. Finally, it stopped, but when my older sister left to go home, she was very upset and shaken. She didn’t feel well physically. So being mentally in your castle doesn’t necessarily mean you can escape feeling upset, drained, shaken, or hurt. I am also wondering how you differentiate between emotional detachment and when you’ve just withdrawn emotionally, put up a wall, or “stonewalling”?
Susan-I could be wrong but I think stonewalling is completely ignoring someone. Putting up a wall is protecting yourself-so could be the same as emotionally detaching where we can be kind, look them in the eye, give them a hug, live as usual yet not let them get through that wall into our hearts with what they say to us. one way we know we are doing this is when they angrily say something to manipulate us or take advantage of our vulnerability – if we don’t feel like we desperately need to get back on their good side and make peace again by groveling, apologizing, etc- to ease this huge knot in our heart then we are on the right track. Instead if we can listen to the anger but then the next minute turn our thinking around to, I won’t let you get to me, I won’t let what you said get to me..I am going to my castle (with Jesus) 🙂 ..I don’t need your approval, etc. we slowly become more confident and free. It is true. It also helps us see clearly what is going on. That not only might we have a co-dependency issue but helps us see what they are up to and we get better at changing our thoughts around to correct thinking. 🙂
Susan, oops..I should have mentioned this comes out of my experience with someone who I became dependent on – when they were angry I felt like it was always my fault when it wasn’t so I would grovel and say I am sorry just to bring peace between us and have things back to normal again or I would stonewall which hurt me as well. I forgot to mention that! I am not sure what you are experiencing with your friend-it most likely isn’t a co-dependent thing of course but wow God sure can show us the truth about that person when we step back which makes it easier continue to emotionally detach. 🙂
Rebecca and Susan-a light bulb went on when I read your conversation here about stonewalling. I have been guilty of that in the past and still tempted to do that at times with my students. God, help me! I am working on emotional detachment and I believe I have trouble with it at times since I believe approval is an idol that often rears its ugly head in me. Rebecca, this one “when they were angry I felt like it was always my fault when it wasn’t so I would grovel and say I am sorry just to bring peace between us and have things back to normal again or I would stonewall which hurt me as well.”
I was re-reading a section in Dee’s Idol Lies book and there is a story there about Hope and her stonewalling. Very helpful to me. Thank God He does not give up on us!
15. Comments and reactions?
I thought his explanation of Adultery being hyperbole was good. He balanced out that yes we ‘should’ not get divorced but God doesn’t say you can’t. He made it clear that that doesn’t mean just because we aren’t happy we should divorce but under certain circumstances-yes. I too believe in getting a separation first to give the other spouse time to get help but definitely divorce if that spouse doesn’t. I don’t think Jesus wants us to live with someone who oppresses, controls with anger-even if it isn’t hurling personal insults but just anger to get what they want from you, or just continually hurting you.
Oh and so hope this isn’t controversial because I have heard of beautiful testimonies where marriages heal after affairs and after abuse and I so LOVE to hear the stories of those who both trust God and over time their marriage is healed. Yet I have also seen the other side in other marriages where a spouse wouldn’t leave and my own parents – I experienced not only the fall out when my parents divorced, but had a hard time setting boundaries with unhealthy people. I must say that as awful as this sounds I kind of wish my mom would have left my dad before he divorced her. She was willing to forgive if he stopped his affair because she wanted to stay together for my brothers and I but he also belittled her in jest which I think is a form of verbal abuse even though it comes across as a joke. I think that inadvertently taught me to be loyal to unhealthy friends instead of setting boundaries-which I am getting sooo much better at now with God’s help! 🙂 I heard Leslie Vernick say something that stuck with me: that if a spouse leaves another because of an affair or ongoing verbal abuse of any kind, or ongoing physical abuse or oppression, etc, and isn’t repentant, it teaches their children to set boundaries with abusive people. Yes the pain and destruction are hard. I have and still experience fall out-but God is healing me and is enlarging my capacity in so many ways. 🙂
I have to be honest-since coming here first on the blog back in 2010 ish..seeing my idolatry through Dee and being brought nearer to Jesus becoming more confident in His love, and then in the last few years being introduced to Leslie Vernick and Jan Silvous (reading Jan’s book) God has done amazing healing in my heart. To Him be the glory. There is more work to be done of course but wow even to get to taste this freedom for a week or a month knowing yes regardless of my circumstances I can be free and walk in His joy for a long period of time is so encouraging…and then the climax when I get to see Him face to face. 🙂 🙂 Totally puts my circumstances in the right light.
in regard to Leslie Vernick’s counseling: it teaches their children not to set boundaries with abusive people. oops. 🙂
– I experienced not only the fall out when my parents divorced, but had a hard time setting boundaries with unhealthy people.
Teaching healthy boundaries is paramount.
Wonderful testimony, Rebecca.
Rebecca, I cried when I read the above comment. Because it sounded like my friends’ situation. “I don’t think Jesus wants us to live with someone who oppresses, controls with anger-even if it isn’t hurling personal insults but just anger to get what they want from you, or just continually hurting you.” I have prayed that these friends would get the help they need to save their marriage (18 years) but I think it is too late now.
Yes Bing..these things are so hard living in a fallen world and yes I pray too that they get help-hate to hear that for they are surely in pain. 🙁
God is wonderful at how He can intervene in hearts but sometimes that person doesn’t come to their senses and I don’t know why-a mystery-but I firmly believe God always works those things out in us, even if the pain remains and there are issues to work through forever it seems but He can still be our joy. 🙂
Yes Bing! I remember that in Dee’s book..VERY helpful ..and yes me too in regard to stonewalling-have done that too. Idolatry plays a huge part in this, that is for sure. I am with you-God help me!
I’m at the hospital today trying to write on my iPad, so I’m not sure I can make sense! But Ive just been thinking how important it is to look at your heart before putting up a drawbridge or boundaries. There have been times I have done this in the past and I was so focused on my hurt and felt bitterness towards the other, I wanted them to feel my coldness, I was shutting them out emotionally and slamming a door in my heart against them.
In a current situation, I think I have finally been able to put a boundary in a healthy way, for I feel God’s complete peace and no bitterness in my heart, and no self pity… What is different for me is that I have recognized my own sin in that relationship, my idol of wanting it to be something it can’t, and of wanting to change this other person before accepting them. The reason I have the drawbridge up is not self-protection for me, though it does protect, I don’t really like that way of thought…it is that I want to honor God with this relationship, release her to Him. This person clearly acts with all the characteristics of a fool, but I believe the is also a mental component at work, and I’ve realized I cannot be in close relationship with this person and have it be healthy and God-honoring, I see my own tendency to get caught in wanting to control or fix, and so instead now I have fully released her to His care, the drawbridge protects both ways, it keeps her from getting to me, but also keeps me from going back to old patterns.
Lizzy- “I see my own tendency to get caught in wanting to control or fix, and so instead now I have fully released her to His care, the drawbridge protects both ways, it keeps her from getting to me, but also keeps me from going back to old patterns. ” Thank you. Hugs to Philip-how is he doing?
Great thoughts from Lizzy from her iPad. 🙂
Lizzy, I so recognize the feeling of being so focused on my hurt and bitterness that I wanted them to feel my coldness, and yes, I slammed shut the door in my heart against them. You are in a much more free place now, and I’m glad to hear it.
15. Since I really have no background in this topic (with respect to knowing specific bible verses and even thinking about it), I have to take this man’s ideas on faith. I do not know of him either. It does sound like he is making excuses for people who end up divorcing though, with the whole hyperbole explanation. He finally explained what he meant by Jesus speaking so often using hyperbole, and I got it then. I just can’t say whether I understood exactly what he was getting to; his point.
What if you get married for the wrong reason(s) and are a non-practicing Christian at the time, end up divorcing because you realize the huge mistake you made, and then come back to your faith, and re-marry? If you ask Christ’s forgiveness for the first marriage, your mistakes, and the divorce itself, are you absolved?
I’ll let others respond to you, Laura. I have thoughts — but would love to hear from others.
Laura, I don’t know if you’ll see this now, but in regards to your question; I would think that just as with any other sin, if you truly repent and ask for forgiveness, then God will forgive you.
Thanks Susan!
Laura, I took his point to be that we should not focus on the specific ‘law’ or rules of divorce/remarriage, but on a person’s heart and whether that person was the innocent party in the relationship so that we don’t find ourselves punishing/judging the innocent party in the divorce/remarriage. For instance, my dad did not want divorce. My mom did. She was not following Christian practices and really he was not at the time. My dad did return to the Lord and married my step-mom. According to this teaching in the video, my dad would not have committed adultery by remarriage, being the innocent party.
Regarding the scenario you suggest, I can only say that Christ died for ALL our sins. Yesterday’s, today’s and tomorrow’s. The Bible does not teach that divorce is unforgivable. David is called a man after God’s own heart, yet he sinned in having many wives.
Thanks Chris! I appreciate the good example here.
15. Comments and reactions?
I listened twice; I’m still not sure that I understand everything he said. He said, for example, that when Jesus said that if you look at another lustfully, you’ve committed adultery in your heart, that that was hyperbole, not to be taken literally. I always thought it was sin that needed confessed; if I am fantasizing sexually about a man that isn’t my husband, though not physical adultery, it is emotional adultery, if only in my thoughts. He seemed to be saying that it is the innocent party that needs to be protected in these cases of divorce; the wife that was divorced or abandoned for no good reason. I’m still confused though.
16. What is your takeaway and why?
I am still processing all this about being a fool or acting like a fool. About a fool using anger to control; I believe we can also use passive-aggressive behavior such as not cooperating, doing the opposite of what we know the other wants, saying we forgot to do something; to get back at the other person. I know I’ve done that. And I’m still thinking about the retreating to the castle or emotionally detaching and withdrawing. To be very honest here, I have done that in my marriage and there have been times I’ve been in a very bad and scary place of not caring any more, so when I say detached, I mean detached. I believe that because I have been hurt, it can make me act like a fool in return. Maybe I am a fool? I know that I have a tendency in my marriage to think I am always right.
Susan, I feel the same way as you on number 15. You are better at articulating it however. I have always said to my husband that viewing pornography is as good as cheating to me. Am I wrong?
I wonder what he meant by hyperbole — for it is clearly sin in the context. Perhaps he meant literal adultery is worse, which seems logical, but certainly it is sin.
I appreciate how you always look at yourself carefully. I simply love your heart.
I also often pray for you for I do think you have a challenging situation that is hurtful.
You are not a fool! I know that as certainly as I know anything!
Susan, my heart aches for you and the hurt you’re experiencing. I have felt that emotion as well and believe it is a bit of a protective mechanism we have. We can be overwhelmed by the hurt, but mustn’t let a root of bitterness grow. Sadly, we cannot force others to get help, but we can get help for ourselves. I have a testimony from a friend who used marriagehelper.com to heal herself and in turn her marriage was healed. I do know I have acted foolishly at times and also tend to think I am right in our marriage. I sure don’t have all the answers but encourage you to keep fighting the enemy and working towards healing in your marriage, if that’s where the Lord leads you.
James 3: 17But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
At my wedding I asked a friend to sing a song by Amy Grant called , ‘Thy Word.” It is still a comfort and inspiration.
Much love and prayers to you in your journey.
Saturday:
16. What is your take-a-way and why?
Dealing with people who exhibit foolish ways ( a fool thinks he is always right, uses anger to control and trusts his own heart) takes discernment and a lot of prayers. I learned the value of emotional detachment to protect myself with the intention of breaking the cyclical unhealthy responses. My prayer is that God will show mercy to the other person and reveal his/her foolishness and repent of it and find help to change. And also to be watchful lest I fall into foolish ways.
Great take away.