Those without a filter have a penchant for hurting others, but
they either don’t care or can’t seem to see it.
They post hurtful things on Facebook, kindling strife.
They quote Romans 8:28 to the friend who just miscarried.
With non-morning folks, they are boisterous and cheerful.
Those without a filter find themselves losing friends.
But if we are honest, we all have been insensitive.
We all need to check our filter.
God has gifted us with Proverbs
to keep our filter working and
be a blessing instead of a curse to others.
Next week we’ll start a new study in Proverbs (The Fool). This is a good time to invite friends to join in and study with you!
Sunday:
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
2. How have you spied God at work in your life in the last 24 hours?
Monday: Sensitivity with Those in Grief
Though I’ve been through grief myself, and have written about how to help those in high-tide grief, I have still blown it. When faced with someone in incredible pain, I so want to help, that I stammer and say something stupid, offering a bandaid for their gaping wound, and in so doing, exacerbating their already incredible pain. Solomon warns:
I won’t ask you to pour vinegar on a wound to see how it feels, but another translation of Proverbs 25:20 says “like pouring vinegar on soda.” Get a little baking soda and put it on a plate, and pour vinegar on it.
3. How did the baking soda react? What does this tell you? (If nothing happened your soda may be too old — so use the metaphor of taking away a coat in winter.) What is Solomon saying?
4. Read Romans 12:15
A. How should we respond to those who are mourning?
B. How is this a contrast to Proverbs 25:20?
C. Why might even quoting scripture to someone who has just suffered great loss actually increase pain?
5. When you look back to the past, how did you spy God through friends at a time of grief?
Tuesday: Sensitivity on Social Media
More than ever, people today have deep feelings about political issues, and there is a great divide. If we feel led to handle a hot potato, it calls for the greatest sensitivity: listening ears, eye contact, a teachable heart, and repeating what was said to show you really heard, and endeavoring to see the heart behind it….but that is not how people without a filter handle explosive topics. Twitter, Facebook…and all social media is a dangerous medium to attempt honest discussions — so why it continues, I do not know, except for the depravity of our hearts and the fact that fools love to start arguments. It can be tempting to enter in when you see an insensitive comment from someone, but especially as believers, we need to realize that we may be spreading a flame that keeps others from seriously considering Christ. A person with a weak filter may be prone to starting or spreading arguments.
6. What does Proverbs 18:2 say — and why is this representative of a person who airs his opinions on social media?
7. Read Proverbs 26:21
A. How is a quarrelsome man described here?
B. Look at the proverb preceding and following this one — though they address gossip, I think the juxtaposition also gives insight into why some like to start quarrels. What do you see — and do you agree?
C. I keep remembering the grandmother who told her practicing gay grandson “That is a way, but it’s not the best way, because it is not God’s way.” In the same way, if you do enjoy discussions about hot potatoes, what is the best way to handle them with sensitivity? What is God’s way?
8. If you use social media, what filters (guidelines) do you have that help you be edifying instead of destructive?
Wednesday: Sensitivity About Humor
My children have teased me that April Fool’s Day is my favorite holiday, and while I did have fun with them when they were children, I truly did try to do things that I think they actually liked. I came to their schools with an umbrella singing “April Showers” and passing out donuts. Though they said they were embarrassed, I knew which children would like it and which would truly not. But it really is tricky to do a prank, and after one April Fool’s joke went very wrong, I stopped. Pranks, I have come to realize, are like handling dynamite. They can explode and truly hurt someone.
9. What does Proverbs 26:18-19 teach? What is appropriate and inappropriate humor?
10. How have you spied God in the last 24 hours?
Thursday: A Friend Knows When To Cover An Offense
When Noah got drunk (and it may have been because of his naivety about wine) his son Ham lacked a filter and gossiped about it, but Noah’s other sons walked in backward and covered their father. We all are going to do things that are offensive and sinful, but a friend with a filter has the discernment to know when to keep your secret out of love.
11. Read Genesis 9:18-27
A. What happened?
B. How did Shem and Japheth honor their father?
12. What does Proverbs 17:9 teach?
13. How might you apply this?
Friday: A Person with A Good Filter Practices Discretion
My husband and I often used “proverb skits” for family devotions. We’d each take a child (or two) and plan a skit and come back and acts it out for the other group. I know it put it into their hearts. Some of their favorite skits were on the funnier proverbs such as the following:
15. What do you think Proverbs 11:22 means?
16. What kind of behavior describes a woman without discretion (without a filter!)? When have you displayed this kind of indiscretion?
This isn’t, of course, just applicable to women. Now that I play the male-dominated game of pickle-ball, I see men who claim Christ yet lack a filter. They swear, slam the ball dangerously at women, refuse to help beginners, and lose their tempers. I do think that maturity in Christ develops the heart that has a filter. You can’t tell someone: “Be sensitive!” They need the Spirit of the living God to put that desire and that sensitivity in their heart.
17. For your God Hunt today, share a proverb that has impacted your behavior and explain how.
Saturday:
18. What is your take-a-way this week and why?
165 comments
I fail at this so much when it comes to my children. When they do something bad I tend to go and vent to my friends or their adult sisters. this behavior has lost the trust of my youngest. My husband has pretended as if i did not say hurtful words a day later. I am so struggling with hormone changes, anxiety and hot flashes that some days I just have NO filter at all. I feel so ashamed of my words that just come bursting out! I so appreciate it when he does this.
my daughter in law had horrible anxiety after the baby was born and said some really crazy stuff. I was able to over look it and have compassion for her. I will never bring it up again because I know what a gift that is.
I have to laugh because the proverb that come to my mind was 21:9 “better bread and water on the roof than a feast with a quarrelsome woman” When I asked my husband the ref. of that he knew it right away…LOL LOL I think the days of cooking for 8 in a hot kitchen with no air conditioning may have scared him for life 🙂
The one I meditate on all day every day is Prov. 3:5-7 ish “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to HIM and HE will direct your path… Do not me wise in your own eyes.
A song I sing as I walk when worried about the house or Paul and my kids is “I know your able and I know you can save through the fire with your mighty hand but even if you dont my hope is in you alone…give me the strength to sing “it is well with my soul.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6fA35Ved-Y
take away
I was reminded once again how important it is to focus on the blessings everyday and I was encouraged to keep writing and encouraging others even if it feels like no one is listening or cares.
Oh Cyndi — admitting it is half the battle. The season of menopause will pass and it sounds like you have people of grace in your life.
Cyndi, I so appreciate your honesty! It’s an inspiration. Prov 3: 5-7 is also one of my favorites & a powerful one to meditate on.
6. Â There is a perverse satisfaction in having one’s own that’s/opinions out there on social media. Especially when someone agrees with you. But there is no door to understanding; no one is encouraged to honestly and respectfully engage another.Â
7. Â The need to be right can be so strong. Â How we deal with gossip shows a lot of how we deal with strife. Are we looking for ways to find reconciliation and peace?
9. Â Appropriate humor is when we all laugh together. Inappropriate humor is when one group laughs at a smaller group.Â
Growing up I didn’t like teasing (like Laura) because it always seemed to have a hidden barb in it. Like they really did want to hurt me, but by saying they were only teasing, they could get away with it.Â
10. Â God hunt. I am sitting in a condo on the north shore of Lake Superior. This next week is a gift from some friends, sharing their place with us. Listening to the waves is so restorative! And maybe I can catch up!!
Sounds lovely!
15. What do you think Proverbs 11:22 means?
The beauty of the gold ring seems out of place and even wasteful in the snout of a pig. The beauty of a woman that displays indiscretion also seems a waste and out of place.Â
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16. What kind of behavior describes a woman without discretion (without a filter!)? When have you displayed this kind of indiscretion?
Sadly, I have most often acted without a filter in front of my family. I’ve lost my temper, swore, spoken harshly and in ways I’m ashamed of. Those I should be on my best behavior with, have often seen my worst.
17. Proverbs -which has impacted your behavior?
Hmmm. Can’t think of one in particular, but the general truth throughout, that being close to the Lord brings blessings and so that is what I seek. I remember living without prayer and scripture as a child and God has given me a thirst for His Word and fellowship with His people. Â
First I wanted to share a God hunt that happened to me yesterday after school. I was trying to make a sample of asphalt to practice the recipe, and realized my oven wasn’t working properly. One of the maintenance staff was willing to take a look at it and we played around to figure it out for an hour and a half! We figured out the oven wasn’t calibrated correctly, and the temperature knob needed to be much hotter than it was showing. We also discovered that the temp we needed (150 C, 300 F) was really occurring when the knob read 200 C. The oven knob only went to 225 C! It was perfect for my use. We had been worried that it would need to be higher than 225C  because the oven is old. SO SURE God was with me 🙂
17. For your God Hunt today, share a proverb that has impacted your behavior and explain how.
I don’t know very many verses off the top of my head from Proverbs, but this one came to mind and makes me laugh:
“A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.”
â€â€Proverbs‬ â€27:15‬ â€NLT‬‬
https://www.bible.com/116/pro.27.15.nlt
At first the arguing and rain is just annoying. After a while the husband is no longer listening. After a while dripping rain is no longer heard.Â
Great God Hunt Laura!! 🙂
15. What do you think Proverbs 11:22 means?
 Indiscretion is unbecoming regardless of how we look on the outside.
16. What kind of behavior describes a woman without discretion (without a filter!)? When have you displayed this kind of indiscretion?
Un-thoughtful. As a pastor’s wife, sometimes I am privy to some deep struggles of the women in our church. One time I shared a situation with a friend who I thought knew about it and realized she was not aware of it. I apologized profusely but the indiscretion was there. I had to confess it to the Lord and I knew I was forgiven but learned my lesson.
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17. For your God Hunt today, share a proverb that has impacted your behavior and explain how.
Kind words are sweet to the soul and healthy to the body. Proverbs 16:24
Whether in written form or expressed verbally, kind words bring refreshment to the recipient as well as the giver.
One of our young technology personnel is moving to another district. I wrote him a card and bought him some treats. Something small but his smile and “oh boy! This is going to make my weekend!” brought joy to me.
I received some thank you cards from my students these last few weeks. Most were generic in nature but there are a few that stood out to me. They were the ones with words that were specific to what they were thankful for. Their words brought joy to my soul.
Saturday:
18. What is your take-a-way this week and why?
My words have an impact on those around me so I need to be thoughtful and slow to speak. I also need to remember Philippians 4:8 in order to guard my thoughts as they will become my words.
My takeaway is to ask the Lord to keep a filter over my mind & mouth, so I can have His wisdom & discretion in all my relationships. That my words would bring encouragement & hope & Life, by the Holy Spirit working in me.
God Hunt: I’ve been home sick with a cold for a few days, & have been reading a book called “Miracles” by Eric Metaxas. Its so inspiring, especially all the stories of miracles in the 2nd half! It has rekindled my flame to believe that God is active in my life & in my husband, & He is still a miracle working God. He touches us in such personal & powerful ways.  🙂
Amen!
17. My take away: We can’t tell someone, Be sensitive!” They need the Spirit of the living God to put that desire and that sensitivity in their heart.Â
My husband and I are going through a tough time in our relationship(30 years this August). We are both hurting and we both feel a lack of respect and sensitivity from the other. We also have both been experiencing volatile emotions. It’s something we will have to work through in time. We can’t force one another to understand or know what the other always needs. We need to seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance on a daily basis. We need to remember that we cannot trust our emotions but we can trust the Word. We need to be forgiving and continue to love one another through this difficult time. Praying the Spirit moves quickly.
chris-so sorry for this struggle. praying for you both now, for His rescue