We’ve seen Him do it here, on the blog:
weaving our lives together so that we
feel His breath on the back of our necks.
One incident I’ll never forget happened when I was trying to show
that God has a plan for our lives that will make sense when we get to heaven.
When He looks down, He says:
“You are on track.”
“You are right where I want you to be.”
“You are here.”
This is not the end of the story, however.
It will make sense, one day.
I posted a sign I just grabbed from google images:
When our own dear Chris saw that sign, she froze.
THAT WAS THE EXACT SIGN, THE VERY HOSPITAL SIGN,
WHERE SHE AND HER HUSBAND
SAT IN GRIEF AFTER GETTING BAD NEWS ABOUT THEIR
SON DANIEL.
DANIEL HAD BEEN ACCOSTED AND EVENTUALLY DIED IN THAT HOSPITAL.
SHE ASKED ME WHY I CHOSE THAT SIGN.
I could honestly tell her I didn’t, but God did.
With my whole heart I believe God led Chris to this blog,
and God led me to choose that image out of dozens of images,
so He could whisper to her:
You are here. But, my child, this is not the end of the story.
Last weekend my daughter Sally and her family came,
for it was the anniversary of my husband’s and her daddy’s home-going.
As we talked, curled up by the fire, I learned something new,
and in the midst of this sorrowful time, I felt His breath on the back of my neck.
(That story next week!)
And again, we had that sense God was reassuring us,
that though at the time, we felt like we were walking
through a dark tangle of branches,
He had us where we were meant to be.
If we could see what He sees, that “briar patch” would look like this:
Sunday:
1.What stands out to you from the above and why?
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
Monday: The Lord is In Control
3. Meditate on the above proverb — look at it in context. What similarity do you see in the following proverbs? Do you find comfort in this? If so, why?
4. Look at Proverbs 16:9 in more than one translation. What is God saying? Does this mean we shouldn’t make plans?
5. Give an illustration of Proverbs 16:9 from your life.
Tuesday-Thursday Bible Study: Seeing the Greater Joseph
Most of you know the story of Joseph, but what I want you to see is the “greater” Joseph, Jesus Christ. For when you see that, you cannot help but also see that God planned the whole tapestry of Joseph’s life. I credit Charles Spurgeon with helping me see so many of these parallels.
6. Read Genesis 37
A. What did his brothers hate Joseph?
B. Why did the Pharisees and religious leaders hate Jesus?
C. How was Joseph betrayed by his brothers? How was Jesus?
7. Read Matthew 16:21-22
A. What did Jesus know?
B. Why did Peter think Jesus was stepping outside of God’s plan?
8. Read Genesis 44
A. How did Joseph test the hearts of his brothers?
B. How did Judah demonstrate the heart of genuine repentance?
C. God has to bring us to conviction before we see our need for a Savior. How
has God brought you to conviction?
9. What confidence, despite all his suffering, did Joseph have according to Genesis 50:19-21?
10. How is Christ’s response to us, as sinners, like unto Joseph’s response to his brethren?
11. What trouble are you facing right now that God is allowing to test you? How are you doing with the test, and why?
12. What application can you make of this to your life right now?
Friday: Read This From Charles Spurgeon:
13. What comments or notes do you have from the above?
Saturday:
14. What is your take-a-way and why?
154 comments
1.What stands out to you from the above and why?
“That though at the time, we felt like we were walking through a dark tangle of branches, He had us where we were meant to be”
Love the reminder of Chris’ map–that was such an amazing touch from Him. Looking so forward to hearing next week how He touched you & Sally as you grieved for Steve.
I really like the garden/maze picture. I imagine standing IN that, and all you could see is the bushes, surrounding you. Oh! That reminds me of going with my now 11 yr old son on a field trip when he was in 1st grade. We went to a corn maze and I was assigned him & 3 other little 1st grade boys to watch–we got so lost in it! It was a living nightmare–never again! I had to keep reminding myself there had to be a way out, but it was so hard to get my mind to believe it when all you could see was corn stalks taller than my 5′ 3″ frame! But an aerial view, would show perfectly planned, chaos-free rows of corn. That eternal view–it’s not my default, but I do try to train my thoughts there, because IN the midst of the struggle, all we see is what is surrounding us and often the purpose feels lost…and the thoughts of “does God care? does He see me?”…start crowding in. He is El Roi, the God who sees. Nothing is out of His hands or His plans. As our Chris reminded me once, “our God is NOT a God of chaos”. No matter how things may feel He is in control and His perfetc plan is never thwarted.
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
At the end of 2010, my now 11 year old was 4 and (we both) struggled with separation anxiety. I wanted an alternative to my in-face Bible study at the time that wouldn’t require me to leave him in child care. I wasn’t sure if one existed, found a few that cost money…then found Dee’s! I remembered her Friendships of Women and hearing her on Focus on the Family. She had “celebrity status” in my mind, and I remember how shocked I was when I saw she actually interacted with and responded personally to her readers! But what has kept me in the solid, gospel-centered truth that never ever fails to our from her teaching, and her incredibly humble, grace-filled heart. I look at her and often think “I want to be like her when I grow up!” Well, at 46 I’m no where near, but it is truly her Christ-likeness that I see and am so drawn to. So thankful for how God led me here and has so generously taught me through her.
I’ve already gone too long winded here, so I’ll just say I think most recently I have “felt His breath on the back of my neck” with our Philip. There are so many reminders, some big and some small, where I know He has orchestrated something only He could–just to remind me He sees me, He cares for me, He is with me.
As always, Lizzy, you warm my heart with your comments. I appreciate your story about being in a corn maze. I couldn’t imagine feeling so lost and with somebody under your care!
Oh, yes, Lizzy, He is the God who sees! He understands the beginning from the end and the other way around as well! Bless you, sister….
I remember also when I first started here feeling somewhat “shocked” that Dee actually replied to our posts, like she’s a famous writer, how does she have time for that? We actually get to hear back from her?!
What a wonderful start, Lizzy.
The story of the corn maze and you shepherding little boys through it.
The story of God leading you here — how thankful I am to God for bringing you for you have been such a wise, rich, and caring friend here to me and to all.
Philip. Yes, indeed.
1.What stands out to you from the above and why?
You are here. But, my child, this is not the end of the story.
Last week I received an accusatory letter from a parent whose child I have been spending extra time to help in my classroom. I felt hurt by the seeming ingratitude that this mother is showing to me. I have prayed for this family ever since I agreed to have her enroll in my class. Now, where did it take me? God is helping me process this situation through the grid of His promises and His Word. Though with some trepidation, knowing God is in control and this is not the end of the story for this family and as we meet with my director this week, I pray God will be honored by my responses. I am very concerned how this student will come through-she has some learning challenges and emotional needs that has not been addressed for a while because of the mother’s own emotional needs. Please pray for me.
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
I am not 100% sure how I came upon the blog but I believe it was after I bought a copy of Dee’s book, “Friendship of Women”. I felt kinship with the women’s stories and felt enlightenment with the struggles I have had with my women friends. At the same time, my sister was going through chemo for her cancer which eventually took her home to be with Jesus. My daughter, who was 24 then, was struggling with her faith and continues to be so at the present. God knew I needed a group of godly women to spur me on in the midst of my grief and discouragement. During nights of tears and sorrow, I have felt “God’s breath on the back of my neck” hearing Him whisper, “I am here, Bing.”
oh Bing, this just broke my heart to read. I am SO sorry you have been met with undeserved accusations instead of gratitude from a parent. Praying now for your meeting this week–that the truth would be evident to your director, for protection over you and your reputation, for healing in this mother and student, and that their hearts would be softened and remorseful for how they have treated you. What day will you meet?
Bing-oh I hated to hear this for you are so kind and love so well. Praying for you-YES let us know the date you will meet.
Those situations are so painful. So beautiful to see your honesty, and this “During nights of tears and sorrow, I have felt God’s breath on the back of my neck, hearing him whisper, I am here Bing.”
Bing — I do think one of the hardest time is when we give and give and then are attacked. Perhaps you are part of completing the sufferings of Christ. May God be with you.
Lord, You know what it is to be accused falsely. Please give Bing Your peace and strength and trust in God the Father. Help her to know that unlike You in Your sufferings, she does not stand alone.
Oh, Bing. How awful that you have been accused by this parent when you are trying so hard to help her child. My prayers are with you as you meet with the director this week! Amen to Lizzy’s prayers.
1.What stands out to you from the above and why?
I remember that sign and Chris’s reaction and we were all in wonder. And I remember I was compelled to pray for her very day on my way to work. I felt His breath on my neck but I am not sure I can say it on the blog because it isn’t clear in Scripture that this kind of thing happens!
Secondly, this post is like a warm blanket. I feel like I am in that briar patch- in the hazy part of it- at this season in my life. It is so needful and comforting to hear over and over..”You are here” -This is where God has meant for me to be.
I can’t wait to hear how Dee felt His breath when talking with Sally!
To clarify-I meant the thing that happened after I felt his breath on my neck..not sure if I should say it or not.
Now Rebecca you have whetted our curiosity. Next week is all about getting out of the box — eager to hear your story.
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
He led me back in 2009-2010 via meeting Dee’s son and daughter in law about a year earlier-I think..my timeline might be off. I remember their first prayer request was for Steve. His diagnosis was new. Then in that request they also asked prayer for Dee, and a gal next to me whispered, “They are Dee Brestin’s son and daughter in law? She is an amazing writer and Bible Study teacher. I have done almost all of her studies and they are the best out there. Wow.”
We had moved but I also was in a long desert time. As I got to know Julie telling her what I desired in fellowship and studies. She recommended Dee’s studies so I googled Dee Brestin hoping to find a study I could purchase and do on my own since I was discouraged finding an older mature woman to meet with.
I saw Dee’s blog listed so I went and perused her website and found the books but also saw she had a blog, and not only that she was on it mentoring women and I couldn’t believe it. Authors don’t do that. That says a lot about Dee-she is humble, passionate for Him, and allows herself to be led by Him. I thought OH my, could this be your answer Lord to my longing to be mentored? So I got on and couldn’t wait. What I found was His breath breathing on my neck pretty consistently with Dee and her posts. He also surprised me with the godly women here. With every post He pressed into me-I sensed Him here.
I look back now and see He was melting my heart to be ready to accept the problem with our intimacy and wove a tapestry more beautiful than I could have imagined! Shortly after a few weeks of being on the blog one morning I woke up and these were the first words to Dee’s post: “I am Dee Brestin and I am an idolater.” That first sentence broke me and any apprehensions I may have had reading the rest. Yet doubt came in. It was like the dance scene in the scent of a woman when he asked her to dance and she put her head down and didn’t accept until he pressed in harder…I kept rationalizing – until He broke through by the time I was done reading the post-it was fast. That was the start but OH he had more in store. His kisses galore. :)) Not only did He bring me here to remove the bolder in the stream, He gave me a beautiful kindred friendship with Dee-and wove me into her ministry in 2012. I was not expecting that but when God loves it is always overwhelming-overflowing! In working with Dee I attest she LOVES and cares for the women she ministers to-and consistently lets God lead when she speaks and posts. So many events have given feedback saying they sensed Him move. SO many hearts and lives drawn to Him through her.
Rebecca — if you met Julie when Steve was dying — it was way back in 2003. Wow. What a gift you have been to me and the ministry and this blog!
Wow! 2003. Had they Just moved here around the time of his diagnosis, or am I way off? When they asked for prayer Steve wasn’t doing well so it might have been further into his diagnosis.
I started coming to this blog because I had just adopted Lily and was home schooling all 4 of my girls at the time and could not find the time to go to a face-to-face Bible study. Also, I had met Dee while she was speaking to an inner city church that I volunteered in. I was struck at how she spoke one message to my upper middle class Church in the suburbs and seem to understand that her population had changed and therefore so did her message. She was also an adoptive mom which made me feel close to her the minute I met her.
I’m learning things I love. Cyndi –I loved you the moment I met you! Such energy and passion!
wow! what a gift for you to say that! my love language is words of affirmation 🙂
Many years ago we did a study that talked about the big brothers and little brothers in the church. I was brought to my knees with conviction when I realized that I was the big brother in the story of the lost son. It has changed the way I do life. It changed the way I saw myself, the way I saw others, and the way I interpreted this parable. I am listen to Keller sermon at least 10 times on this subject. I fear it has made me extremely impatient with big brothers though 🙂
I so love you being here and have always admired how you mother and love your children-you haven’t known this but you are one of my role models as a mom, and sister in the Lord. Your willingness to sacrifice for your family and for others is one of the ways you are glorifying God not to mention your play dough heart.
I hardly have time to respond but read yours all the time and you always say what is on our hearts. 🙂 I can relate to most if not all of your posts!
Oh my Rebecca! You have NO idea how much this post means to me! honestly one of the best gifts I received! I am so humbled and encouraged. I read this as I was sitting in church with just Lily. both my older girls, after telling me they would be at the 10:oo service, slept in because they were not feeling well, my youngest went to cedar point with a friend and my husband had to run the sound board all morning (7-1) I was feeling a little sorry for myself but then I read this and was able to worship and get out of my pitty party and enjoy the afternoon. thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to give me such a gift!
Cyndi, So glad!! Again-your honesty..so love that about you. I can relate to your pity party. 🙂 I can easily have them when i come home to a disaster of a house after working on it over the weekend, and then what I am seeing where I work, in an elementary school, Oh-it burdens my heart!
Cyndi-happy birthday!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CYNDI!!! So love you and love how the Lord brought you here! You bring us SO much joy!! Praying for you especially today!
Oh Cyndi — yes — happy birthday! May the Lord bless you especially today!
Cyndi happy birthday 🎈🎁🎂 to you. The emoticons may not show up. Have a great day!
3. Meditate on the above proverb — look at it in context. What similarity do you see in the following proverbs? Do you find comfort in this? If so, why?
Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
I find great comfort in the fact that I do not have the power to thwart God’s plan for my life.
4. Look at Proverbs 16:9 in more than one translation. What is God saying? Does this mean we shouldn’t make plans?
The Message: “We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it”
I think God does want us to plan, and to “consider the cost” of our plans. He wants us to delight ourselves in Him so that our heart’s desires align with His, and then He grants those and beyond. For me, an obsessive planner (putting it mildly!), I have learned the key is to hold those plans loosely, and continually bring them back to Him, abandoning my own will, desiring to be under His. I truly am terrified at the thought of “getting my way” if it were not HIS way. Throughout our entire wait with this last adoption, my 11 year old would daily ask “is this going to happen?!” and my answer sometimes frustrated him, “if God wants it for us”. I knew this was definitely NOT anything I wanted to force or try to manipulate…it was a heart’s desire, but only He could bring it according to His will, and that was how we had peace in every step.
5. Give an illustration of Proverbs 16:9 from your life.
Eek—did I just do that above? I’ll just add this. When I got married at 22, my “plan” was to wait 5 years and then get a house and start a family, be done having kids by 31. Without all the details here, things did not go according to my plan—and OH how I thank Him for that! His plan is far more generous than I could have ever imagined.
That was the only answer you could give to your 11 year old!
Loved your extra parallel findings between Joseph and Jesus.
6. Read Genesis 37 A. Why did his brothers hate Joseph?
They were jealous of him and hated him for their father’s favoritism towards him.
B. Why did the Pharisees and religious leaders hate Jesus?
Jealous of His power, His favor with followers. They were threatened by Him.
C. How was Joseph betrayed by his brothers? How was Jesus?
Joseph: they made a plot to kill him; stripped him of his coat of many colors, threw him into a cistern, sold him to the Ishmaelites
Jesus: they plotted to kill Him; Judas “sold” Him (Matt. 26:15); they stripped Him of His clothes and sold them; crucified & buried
This was so fascinating to me! I did a tiny bit more searching and here are a few more similarities: both beloved sons of their father; falsely accused; became a slave; not recognized by their own; both tempted but did not sin (Gen.39:9; Heb. 4:15); bowed down to (Gen. 41:43, Phil. 2:10)
1. What stands out and why?
These words: Weaving our lives together so that we feel His breath on the back of our neck. The idea that there is a weaver behind the tapestry that is our life. That on the back side it looks confusing, but on the top side, there is beauty that is woven with all of the dark and difficult as well as the light and joyful threads that make up the moments of a lifetime.
Years ago, when I was in my late 30’s, I read the book Tapestry by Edith Schaeffer. She beautifully conveyed how the hand of God had woven her and her husband’s (Francis Schaeffer) lives. Remarkable reminder of the sovereignty of God.
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
In the fall and winter of 2013-2014, I submerged myself in the Psalms. One weekend in early June of 2014, I was perusing the internet for studies on the psalms and I sovereignly stumbled onto this blog and that summer of studies in the psalms. In a strange and surprising way, God began to weave my life with the lives of some of the gals here on this blog and many, many times I have experienced the Lord’s hand of kindness on my shoulder through the women on this blog. ( A few have become email and phone friends – his breath on my neck.)
During that same period of time I was searching out more information on the relationship of the potter to the clay. I stumbled upon this potter online who gave beautiful analogies of the clay in the potter’s hand. I told my pastor of this potter (who lives 800 miles from here) and he knew this man – not only did he know him – my pastor told me that he would be speaking at our church in the coming weeks. His breath on my neck.
So, even my random searching online was under the sovereignty of God.
4 min. clip of my potter friend with the clay as he draws out a poignant analogy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXWPywbZ840
Thank you for the clip. It is an encouragement that He is making of us something more than we could even imagine for ourselves, as we become still in His Hands.
1.What stands out to you from the above and why?
That story about the google map and our sweet Chris gives me goosebumps….I had not heard that one. Wow, that is one of those things that, if you are ever in a doubting spell, reigns you back in!
Dee, how many years now, since Steve went home?
13, Mary.
Yes — isn’t that a wonderful God sighting with Chris?
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?” I had known about Dee from nearly 30 years ago, when I read The Friendships of Women and the Lord used that book to show me a major idol in my life: friendship idolatry. I knew my relationships were not always very healthy but I did not have a name for it…SIN of the worst kind… IDOLATRY. I was cut to the quick and repented and learned to put Him at the center. Can’t say I’ve always don’t this perfectly (far from it) but when you can identify the issue (like finally having a diagnosis to a mystery condition) then you better know what needs to be done to eradicate it, with the Lord’s help. So, that said, years later I just googled her name, wondering about new books, etc… and that was at a time in my life when I was really coming to understand grace and the importance of the gospel for everyday, not just the moment of salvation and at that time Dee was talking about how she had come to that understanding in recent years and had even re-written The Friendships of Women to reflect that (and oh how I love that newer version!) so that’s when I began to do some participating on the blog. I can’t say I’ve had a time like this you described with Chris but I sure have enjoyed very sweet fellowship of sisters in Christ here in a venue where I never imagined that would be possible. I number you all amongst my dearest friends and consider myself so blessed to have gotten to “know” you all.
We are sooooooooo blessed by your presence here, Mary.
1. What stands out? The green maze, and how we are in the midst and cannot see. In the movie, The Shack, Mac is led to ‘the garden’ the Holy Spirit spends so much time in. It is nothing like we think of a garden. It is a jungle, a mess. You can’t see to get around in it. But seen from above, it is incredibly beautiful, like the maze, but colorful as well. And Mac gets told that the garden is his heart. That has been healing for me, to believe that God sees my life in a way more than what it looks like to me. It really is no thanks to me, but is of His grace and love.
2. I had heard Dee speak at a women’s retreat in NE on Idol Lies and wanted more. After eating the book, I looked up the blog. This has been my major spot for growth ever since.
Has there been a time I have felt His breath on my neck? The most recent time, of many, was listening to Keller last week. It was like reading the next clue on the treasure hunt God has me on. And I felt His assurance and love to move forward.
Mary B.–love the way you worded this!: “It was like reading the next clue on the treasure hunt God has me on. And I felt His assurance and love to move forward.”
I want to hold that mindset every day–on a treasure hunt for His assurances, Him whispers…
Forgotten you were from Nebraska, Mary B!
I am actually from Sioux Falls SD, but our church district holds its women’s retreat at Lied Lodge in NE.
GOD DECIDES !!
Thank you all for your prayers for me this week. I am experiencing God’s peace about this situation and have already seen Him work in ways that give me the assurance He is in control. Nila, thank you for sharing the youtube clip of the potter (I watched 2). At one point, he said something like “the pot needs to surrender to the potter” …simply saying “yes…yes…yes”…to be still before a wise, good, loving God. We grow through pressure internal and external-internal is the hand inside, the presence of God; external is the circumstances in our lives- like people speaking wrongly about us, who lies to us-He teaches us about forgiveness…” Wow-a breath on the back of my neck.
Sunday:
1.What stands out to you from the above and why?
The story about Chris is so powerful. That God would choose to put the exact place of her grief on the map, seemingly a random choice by you, is something only God would do.
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
I started following the blog after signing up to Dee’s email list at an Idol Lies seminar a few years ago and I continued to receive her emails. I didn’t join the discussion until earlier this year in January or Feb I think. I had been a silent follower for some time. After gaining some familiarity with the dynamics of the group it seemed good to enter into the discussion. A number of times I have been encouraged and personal blessed by the sharing here.
You are such a blessing to us, Bev.
1.What stands out to you from the above and why?
I remember that blog incident with you, Chris, and the picture. The incredible feeling when you know He has visited you! Love that!
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
A good friend told me of the blog, although she had never been here; a friend told her about it. Oh yes! He is near and has been for me many times. Most recently, with these sweet grandchildren of mine. We needed a sitter and when I was wracking my brain, a name popped into my head of someone I really didn’t know; here mom and I are colleagues at work. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask and viola! she agreed. My other dancer friend also agreed and we now have 2 sitters! I know His hand was on it and has been the whole time.
Laura–what a praise for you to finally be getting some baby sitting help!
4-6
We plan the way we want to live but only God makes us able to live it.
I always wanted lots of children, to adopt and to home school. my entire identity has been wrapped around these things, this was MY plan. little did I know how selfish I was, how tired I could be, how angry I was capable of getting or how addicted to control I was. I can not count the 1000s of times I went crying to Jesus to please help me, that I was in WAY over my head. HE gave me the strength to go on. ONLY HE could have made MY PLAN happen. HE gave me the courage and strength to walk the path I foolishly thought I had the ability to take.
I resemble your remarks! Being a mother has held up a mirror to me of what was really deep in my heart, and it wasn’t pretty. But it also gave me an understanding of God as the perfect parent, and what He deals with in us and how He does it without harshness or punitiveness.
Happy Belated Birthday, Cyndi!
3. Vs 1&33 also talk of how man thinks he is in charge, but it is really God who is. 2,3 &7 encourage us that God has better insight than we do.
i find a lot of comfort here. Especially when needing to make decisions. You pray and are sincere that you want His direction. You seek wise counsel. You pray again, asking God to close doors that are wrong, and then you move forward, trusting that He is directing. I think of it like a ship. You can’t stay at anchor and get anywhere. We move so that He can steer us.
4. Does this mean we shouldn’t plan? The Living Bible says “we should make plans, counting on God to direct us”. The McArthur study bible notes say the sovereign God overrules the plans of man to fulfill his purposes. It had six cross references, starting with Joseph in Gen to prove the point.
5. Illustration from my life. I was unhappy in my job, but willing to work through it, when a different job opportunity was literally whispered to me. I followed the outline I put in the answer to three. I prayed more and said yes. The first six months there were very hard, and I had plenty of times of doubting that I was in the right place. But there were also written comments from patients saying I had impacted them positively. A confirmation from God.
Mary B–your answer is in line with what my pastor told us…pray, seek counsel, and then take the next step, continuing to pray and watching for God to open/close doors as He chooses.
3. Meditate on the above proverb — look at it in context. What similarity do you see in the following proverbs? Do you find comfort in this? If so, why?
There is great comfort in knowing God is sovereign over our lives and gives ultimate direction to our plans. As we see from the illustration of the maze He sees it all from above, beginning to end and even when we have our plans in place in his wisdom He may direct them differently. Some of those changes can be desperately hard like Dee losing Steve at a young age. It can take time to regain some sense of God’s plan being actually good for us.
There are promises in these Proverbs. V. 3 that the Lord will establish our plans, V. 4 he has made everything for a purpose, V.6 iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the Lord one turns away from evil, V .7 When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
V 33 says “The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.” What appears to be by chance is never so because of God’s perfection and his sovereignty. And that will always serve to be for our good in eternity.
4. Look at Proverbs 16:9 in more than one translation. What is God saying? Does this mean we shouldn’t make plans?
I think part of the problem is that we can’t trust our hearts. The heart is desperately wicked as it says in Jeremiah 17. We often make our plans selfishly and for pur own best interest. Again God has sovereign control over all things. There is nothing wrong with making plans as long as we hold them loosely and place our faith in God to work all things together for our good by directing our steps down paths that He knows will be for our ultimate good.
5. Give an illustration of Proverbs 16:9 from your life.
A number of years ago I wanted to stay living in a community in a house I loved, with a church family I loved where I had close women friendships. While attending a Friendships of Women Retreat God made it clear in my heart as Dee was speaking that He wanted us to move back to Broken Bow (our home town) and I didn’t want to go. There was emotional hurt and baggage that I just didn’t want to face. I was satisfied with the current plans in our lives at that time. But God was directing our steps through my husband’s work and I couldn’t argue with God. It was one of those God’s breath on the back of my neck experiences. In following God back in His time He brought reconciliation where needed and did a good work in our family.
Bev–your answer to 5–wow. What a beautiful example of faithful obedience when it is HARD, and His generous blessing to you in return
3. Meditate on the above proverb — look at it in context. What similarity do you see in the following proverbs? Do you find comfort in this? If so, why?
I feel like its as if God timed all of this to be in Dee’s blog this week as I struggled with the issue with the parent of one of my students I mentioned yesterday. Truly life is a hodge podge of perplexity that only the sovereign hand of God can work to His glory and according to His plan. I see in proverbs 6 so many principles guiding us to a holy life in whatever calling He has given us. Everything hinges on the purposes of God and yet we have the freedom to think for ourselves, trusting, oh always so trusting that He is good and wise and He will direct our steps.
4. Look at Proverbs 16:9 in more than one translation. What is God saying? Does this mean we shouldn’t make plans?
We should make plans but always be open to the prompting of the Spirit to guide us and if necessary when a different road is laid before us, to align our hearts and minds to His. It is a constant seeking of Him.
I think of Pat, the lady I have been meeting with to do Dee’s Study, He calls me Beautiful . One of the questions in Chapter 6 is how do you recognize God’s voice? And she said-when it is the truth. Then we cross referenced to Philippians 4:8 where we discuss the importance of our thought life-whatever is true, noble, pure, right, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy-think on these things!
Tell Pat I loved her answer. Truth.
I will, Dee. Pat is such a blessing to me. She is in her 80’s, a widow, loves the Lord very much and has been used of God to bless my heart at many opportune times. Oh, my! I just realized she is about my Mom’s age (a widow, too and oh so far away) and a little younger than my mother-in-law (now in heaven). Oh, I can cry buckets now. Lord, you knew I needed a “mother” “nearby”.
I have mentioned here before that I listen to Discover The Word podcasts (Nila, thank you so much for introducing me to the website). Last week and this week, they have Dr. Darrell Bock from DTS sharing about engagement-how do we engage others in a conversation so we can share the hope that we have in Christ that is effective and winsome and honoring to God. Today, what do you know, the discussion was based on I Peter 3:13-17. Just the very guidance I need.
Again, forgive me for bringing up the parent issue. In the past week, I have been deliberating what to say, vacillating between feelings of hurt, anger and compassion for this parent. I have a few scenarios in my mind and prayed God to help me. Today, things took on a bigger scale. Although it is definitely towards my favor, I feel for the student caught in this “drama” that the mother has brought about. There are now a few administrators involved and this student MAY end up being dropped from my class at the end of the semester instead of continuing till the end of the school year. My heart is breaking for this girl. I am still praying for a resolution that will not cause much trauma to her fragile personality. I have something in mind that might be of help to her but I will leave it up to the Lord to determine my steps this week. Thank you for listening. I appreciate you all.
oh Bing. I am moved by your heart of compassion for this student. Praying with you for a resolution that is pleasing to God and best for this student, while protecting you.
Lizzy, thanks for the prayers. Some days I feel fearful. But I know that God is my shield and my protector.
Bing, I am so sorry for this situation at school because you are such a dedicated, conscientious teacher and you always give your best to your students! I pray that God will give you wisdom and just the right words to say, and that there will be a positive result for this student.
Susan, I appreciate your kind words. Yes, I am praying the same these days. Thank you.
Tough stuff here, Bing. I’m sorry you are enduring this at school. I will pray that Jesus will shine through the whole process. Don’t your students end with a certificate of some sort at the end of the year? Too bad the mom had to get involved. In my experience, parents stirring the pot spoil it.
m
Laura, I know you would understand this being a teacher yourself. Yes, tough. The waiting is tough. The lady who is in charge of SPED(it sounds like she would be the one who needs to intervene and knows this family very well) has been sick and might not be back till next week. Ugh…meanwhile, the mom is “pouting” like a a 2 year old. I am almost to the point of just giving up and to not have anything to do with this family but the Lord is asking me to wait on Him. The pot indeed is being stirred. But the Lord is in control. He will determine my steps.
2. How did God lead you to this blog? Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
I was led to this blog through my daughter. She knew I had read Dee’s “Friendships of Women” and loved it. I followed along silently for a bit. We had just moved and I was looking for a Bible Study with depth online. I was amazed to discover that Dee did one weekly and actually interacted with the women. This online family have been a source of inspiration and encouragement to me for quite a while now, though I am not able to participate as much as I did earlier. They really helped keep me going when we went through some deep waters as my daughter’s marriage broke up 5 years ago. I love you guys!
As for “His breath on the back of my neck”: I am on my third week facilitating Dee’s “He Calls You Beautiful”. I’m really enjoying the study though it is a lot of work. Some of the women were struggling with the many allusions and I was trying to explain about the connections between the Old Testament and Jesus, and how all Scriptures point to Him. I realized afresh how the Old Testament writers used imagery and prophecy that clearly points to Christ (like Psalm 22 and Isaiah 53 and Exodus) hundreds of years before Jesus’ birth. The OT writers couldn’t know who “The Christ” would be. The references are clearly only a “God thing”. So amazing! It does send chills how God carefully designed the tabernacle, how meticulously he designed the separate Holy of Holies where His presence to descend as a cloud to dwell and it was so holy that only the High Priest could enter once a year – and then much later – God himself tore away the heavy curtain separating the Holy of Holies from the rest of the temple in Jerusalem when Jesus died on the Cross — so that ALL OF US WHO BELIEVE CAN ENTER INTO HIS PRESENCE AT ANY TIME! AWESOME!!!!!
Dianne — I was just wondering how your study is going. It is my most challenging study and you showing them how Jesus is everywhere is beautiful.
Diane,
Thanks for posting about how your study is going. This is really helpful to know! I hope it is alright if I cut and paste what you said. I received a call from our leadership as they are considering it or Idol Lies for our next women’s study and I am meeting with one of them tomorrow. We have two new leaders who are amazing! A wonderful turn around from the past. 🙂 I am sure one of them will facilitate it and so I want to make sure they see how you are approaching it.
Rebecca, you are welcome to use my words as you talk to the leadership. We have done both Idol Lies and now this one. I would recommend them both but for different reasons, but I really am getting a lot out of the Song study. There is so much depth in it. I find poetry speaks to my soul in a way that narrative just doesn’t touch, though I know that some people struggle with it. (Right, Laura??) It is fascinating to see pictures (allusions) from the Song all over the Bible, if you take the time to check the cross references in a study Bible as well as using Dee’s study. So much jumps out of the Song on reading and rereading. Sorry, I’m rambling. Does my enthusiasm show? LOL!
Diane, I have been drawn to read Isaiah recently and have noticed both the Song and Revelation in the first few chapters! I’m proud of myself for actually knowing enough of the Bible (thanks to Dee) to be able to recognize the correlations as I read! Yay!
Laura, you are doing SO well learning, in catching similarities (allusions?) between Isaiah with the Song and Revelations. And thanks for the hint! I’ll check it out! LOL!
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
I remember the blog post in which Dee used that sign, and how Chris said it was where she and her husband were….no way that was a coincidence. I also like the metaphor of our lives being like a tapestry….Someone is the Weaver of it. I can think of so many of you here who have lives that are beautiful tapestries. I wish that I could get more of God’s perspective from His vantage point looking down and it is reassuring to think that “I am here” for a purpose and a reason and that I am right where God wants me to be.
2. How did God lead you to this blog?
Late in 2009 I heard Dee on the radio, and her web address was given at the end of the program, and I signed up to receive her general emails. My nephew had died in July of that year of a drug overdose, and I was grieving him and because I was comfortably coasting spiritually before that, when I tried to turn to God in my grief, He felt more like a stranger than a friend. Then, Dee sent out an email saying she was going to lead an online study through her book, The God of All Comfort, and to reply if you were interested. I signed up for the study, and we began in January 2010.
Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
I do believe that God threw me a lifeline after my nephew Thomas died in bringing me to this blog, and that particular study at that time. Several years ago when I was going through a very hard time emotionally and having trouble with anxiety, I received a letter from a friend and all I can say is that to me, it was as if I had received a letter from God Himself.
“Almost as if I received a letter from God Himself.” Like 1 John 4:12
3. Meditate on the above proverb – look at it in context. What similarity do you see in the following proverbs? Do you find comfort in this? If so, why?
Starting in Proverbs 16:1, the underlying theme is that we must include God in our plans, and that not as an afterthought after we’ve already made up our minds, but right from the beginning. Because, He has the final say. Verse 2 says that God weighs our motives; this reminds me of James where he says that we don’t have because we don’t ask, and when we do ask, we ask for the wrong reasons. Verse 4 says that God works out everything for His own ends – it’s really not “our plan”, but our lives fit into His plan. Verse 9, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Sometimes I’m driving somewhere only to find that a road is closed and there’s an unexpected detour. I think this means that we can plan our days, we can try to plan for next week, or our whole lives, but God isn’t going to let us get off track….He might use detours that make us go another way. Often those detours or circumstances make no sense to me and they can be hard and scary, too. I don’t always like them because I want my own easy, comfortable way. I suppose the steps He makes me take are to grow me and make me understand that I can’t do anything without Him.
3. Meditate on the above proverb — look at it in context. What similarity do you see in the following proverbs? Do you find comfort in this? If so, why?
It seems that God and man are in a “dance” of sorts together in this proverb as well as the others that surround it. Man does something, then God, They are intertwined. Yes, it is comforting to read this. It just confirms what we speak of here; we are not alone.
4. Look at Proverbs 16:9 in more than one translation. What is God saying? Does this mean we shouldn’t make plans?
God is guiding us even when we think we are headed the right way. Yes we should make plans; we shouldn’t be wish washy. If we steer off course He is there to direct a different way, but we must be in tune with His Word to sense Him in the guiding.
5. Give an illustration of Proverbs 16:9 from your life.
I think I was meant to be a teacher even though that was never my plan. I loved to dance so I pursued dance. When I realized I needed to eat, I decided that I would be a lawyer, then a geologist. I actually worked as a geologist in a Dallas oil company but ended up in a teaching role in the company! After having a few kids, it was time to go back to work, and getting my teaching hours and certification was fairly painless. I never seemed to have much trouble finding a job in the industry, and have been pretty successful in the two districts where I have worked. Although I never really wanted to teach, I believe He guided me here. He continues to bless me even when I am struggling in the profession and truly want to quit. I have become resigned that this is where I will end my career, even though a few years back I started my masters degree to actually leave this field! I have stayed, and He has been true to me.
Laura when I first read that you wanted to pursue a career in dance, but you realized that you needed to eat I thought that you meant that you didn’t like starving yourself to keep a dancer’s body so you decided to be a lawyer. LOL
That is exactly right Dawn….dancers eat nothing (smoke cigarettes, drink coffee), and yes, make no money (to afford food to eat). Having a profession meant I had money.
6. jealousy, jealousy, handed them over to people to do their dirty work.
7. He knew that the gates of hell must be broken and that he could only do that from the other side…no way poor Peter could understand. He wanted to save his friend and have his friends save him here on earth. He did not understand that there was an eternal battle that Jesus was fighting.
8.Joseph wanted to know that his brothers really loved his dad and little brother, that they were truly sorry for what they had done to them even if they had no understanding of what they had done to J. I understand that. I need to see repentance in my children before I know that they can learn from a mistake. you can not teach an unrepentant heart!
c. everyday I find another place in my heart that I need to expose to our sweet Jesus and ask HIM to change it. It is so easy to self protect with pride, and so hard to be raw and honest and FEEL all the hard feelings.
1.What stands out to you from the above and why?
Seeing the sign again and remembering the day takes me apart. Daniel was in Rainbow Babies and Childrens Hospital, which you can see as Rainbow on the building in the picture. 3 weeks in the hospital, wishing the neuro storms would abate, moving from Metro Health trauma center to Rainbows after Daniel had experienced neuroleptic malignant syndrome as a reaction to drugs given to try and help him come out of the coma, hoping he would survive, trying to piece together what moving forward with a massive brain injury would look like came to an abrupt halt when the seizures wouldn’t stop, first one blown pupil then another. After the second one, my husband and I left the hospital room,I really feel like Daniel left us that day, though we didn’t remove the ventilator for two more days, waiting for his brothers to come. Going to sit outside on a August day. We sat on a bench almost exactly where the visitor information question mark is on the sign. I wish I could say that seeing the sign brought me comfort, it begins to now, but when I first saw it on the blog I felt like many in scripture seem to when God comes close to them, I felt afraid.
2. How did God lead you to this blog?
I had been influenced by Dee’s ministry, with at an event where she spoke and by participating in studies on Midday Connection, I looked at the blog prior to starting, but felt like you must have needed an invitation to participate. When I joined in, I was fairly desperate, I was deeply grieving and floundering. I longed for deep meaningful conversations, but as an introvert who ran out of church ASAP I hadn’t developed those type of friendships. When I began on the blog I thought I would be too much, that people would think I made up my story, it felt so bizarre. Everyone was really kind, as I spilled out my pain, I began to realize that these women actually were remembering what I said, I began to believe they really were praying for me. Being able to type while I was a sobbing mess allowed me to process things here I don’t think I could have verbalized face to face. God mightily used this place to keep me sane and get my feet back underneath me.
Has there been a time when you felt “His breath on the back of your neck?”
Oh my yes, this story is obvious, there are others, but I have said enough for now.
Oh Chris! Hearing more of the details makes my heart hurt; takes me back to that time. I’m glad you found solace here. I loved meeting you face to face in Ohio too. That was really special. I think of you, and believe it or not even Daniel pops into my head every so often. I love the picture of you and him that you used to have as your graviton (?). Precious memory. Love and hugs to you sweet sister.
Chris, I can’t tell you how much you have helped me move forward. I sobbed right along with you and prayed for you (I still pray for you). Meeting everyone in Ohio was one of the most unlike-me things that I’ve ever done. Even to this day when I tell people that I went out of state to meet face to face, people that I had only connected with online, they don’t believe that I did something like that.
Dawn, that truly was such a special weekend in Ashland, Ohio!
Chris I remember reading the story of you losing your son and being amazed that you were brave enough to share your journey with us. Thank you for your transparency oh, you’re willing this to be real here is one of the things that kept me coming back. You are my hero.
Oh Chris….no words, really. You are one of the bravest, most courageous women I know. I remember when you came here and I remember the week when Dee posted the picture of the sign. We were all blown away. God has brought out incredible beauty in you from incredible pain.
3. Meditate on the above proverb — look at it in context. What similarity do you see in the following proverbs? Do you find comfort in this? If so, why?
I have to reorient my heart to have it bring comfort, my knee jerk reaction, especially when remembering deep trauma is fear, fair about how little control I have, that the influence I think I have is just an illusion. I Have to remember, to put back together the story of God’s redeeming love, that he sees me and loves me (still hard for me), that he will make all things new in the end, when I take my heart there, then I can slide my hand into my fathers and offer my feeble trust that I don’t see everything, even if the path is monstrously hard, he knows what he is doing. There is a reason he has directed my path in this way.
Oh Chris — such pain. You have been so REAL here and how I have seen God grow you into such a woman of beauty in the wilderness. Someone gave me this quote from Bonhoeffer this morning — I love it — may it minister to you and all who have lost one “their soul loves.”
“There is nothing that can replace the absence of some one dear to us, and no one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first this sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort . For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it . It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us persevere even in pain the authentic relationship. Furthermore, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep with in , a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain”.
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Oh, my, Dee. What a profound quote by Bonhoeffer about grieving! A lot of the comments this week center around deep pain and how the women of this blog have helped each other deal with it. As Cyndi said, it is “hard to be raw and honest and FEEL all the hard feelings.” Here has been a safe place to process pain in a godly way – the value of that is “pure gold”.
I am dealing with a deep pain currently with one of my sons as the result of an addiction that he kept secret for many years, though I can’t tell the specifics. Now we know, but, though he is a Christian, he is very much struggling to break the stranglehold the addiction has on him. He is struggling with depression as well. It has affected every aspect of his life. This all deeply pains me. It is so hard to watch a child in pain and feel helpless. I ask your prayers for him and wisdom for us.
oh Diane–I was honestly about to email you as you have just stayed heavy on my heart lately. I am so sorry to hear this about your son. Praying for him now, thankful he knows the Lord and NOTHING is beyond God’s redeeming love and power.
Diane, I am so sorry to read this. Praying for your son right now.
Diane, oh how painful that must be! Our children hold special spaces/places in our hearts and when they hurt, our hearts break as well. Lord, one of your beloved needs your help desperately. We know you hear and you see his pain. Have mercy, O God!
I’m sorry this has happened Diane. I will pray for your son and your family.
I’m so sorry Diane. Oh — so much. We will pray he gets help that is efficacious. Love love love to you.
Thanks, ladies, for all your comforting words and your prayers. It is so good to know that sometimes we just need to cast ourselves on the Lord and plead for the prayers of His people. God has reassured me through His Word and through you His children that He is in control and never stops working, even if we cannot see it.
6. Read Genesis 37
A. What did his brothers hate Joseph?
Because they were jealous of him and the affection their father had for Joseph. Joseph also told them about his dream for the future and they did not like it one bit. Their pride of being the older ones got in the way of loving their own brother.
B. Why did the Pharisees and religious leaders hate Jesus?
Because they did not want to hear the truth and accept that Jesus is the Son of God.
C. How was Joseph betrayed by his brothers? How was Jesus?
They sold Joseph and did not care that he was their own flesh and blood. Jesus was betrayed by one who was in his inner circle, his family so to speak.
7. Read Matthew 16:21-22
A. What did Jesus know? He knew of his upcoming suffering, his death and his resurrection.
B. Why did Peter think Jesus was stepping outside of God’s plan?
The idea that the Son of God would have to suffer was beyond Peter’s expectation of a loving God. Surely suffering and death is not God’s plan!
I looked back at when I first came to this blog. It was 3 years ago and below was my first post. The topic was on emotional abuse. God knew. A year later I made the most humbling decision I have ever made and moved out of my home. With no changes and no desire on my husbands part to work on things here we are 2 years later still separated and today sat down and began together paperwork for a divorce from a marriage of 33 years. I feel as if a whole part of myself is being torn away. It is indeed painful. I have hope for life. I continue to pray for my husband. Not living under the same roof we manage to do okay, and I have been healing. God is in control and I am not. My story continues. I praise Him.
My post in Sept 2014
How does one come out of the shadows? I have been struggling with that, saying what I have been dealing with really is not that bad. Yet I feel really bad. I am grateful for the closeness to the Lord my struggles have brought me yet you do feel so isolated when you are not talking with anyone about the words that are spoken that keep wounding you. You just keep taking it and yet not without a cost. I do not process them with the Lord quick enough and know the bitterness lingers below the surface. The guilt of those feelings only adds to that. Wanting to find healing and have my marriage restored. I have the Lord! my husband does not. ( yet) Praying for him is so powerful, praise is as well. Praying for the Lords wisdom and thankful for coming across this blog. Idol Lies is what lead me here and I am thinking this is another answer to my many prayers. Shame can hold you down in the shadows,. From outside appearances my husband is a friendly guy yet I have seemed to bring out the worse in him. But to be honest isn’t that true for me too.I know I have things in me to change I have a library of books and years of journals and I know many tears bottled in heaven but apart from Him I can do nothing. Keeping my eyes on Jesus my rock of refuge and my hiding place. My strength and my shield. He loves me unconditionally. Amazing Grace!
Such a storm you have been through, Liz!
Oh Liz, what a difficult pain you have gone through and continue to go through! I can identify with your situation in that my daughter has been through a similar experience! Pain beyond words – guilt, hurt, tearing apart, loss … Thanks for repeating your original post to help us put it into perspective. I will put you in my prayers as you continue on this hard road. May you find peace and freedom in Christ!
Liz, I am so sorry to hear this news. Life is so difficult sometimes. I am praying for you and would love to meet sometime soon for coffee. Please email or call me! Love and hugs 😘.
Liz, I’m so sorry about the divorce. Will be praying for you.
6. Read Genesis 37
A. What did his brothers hate Joseph?
They hated him because he was their father’s favorite; they were jealous. They also hated in because he was gifted with dreams. He has dreams that were prophesies of things to come. He was “in the know” and they didn’t like that either.
B. Why did the Pharisees and religious leaders hate Jesus?
They hated Jesus because He was prophesying and seemed to know things and proport them other than the way they understood.
C. How was Joseph betrayed by his brothers? How was Jesus?
Joseph was cast out and eventually sold as a slave. Jesus was isolated also; He was beaten. They were both “sold” with coins.
9. that even though his brothers meant to harm him God was able to use it in HIS plan.
10. HE reassures us that HE wins in the end. with all the hard twists and turns in life HE will weave them all together to create a beautiful master piece out of our hearts and lives.
11. right now the challenge I am facing is that I do not have any real challenges….I thrive when I am needed, I love a long up hill battle with a huge payoff at the end. I need to feel needed and like what I am doing has eternal value. right now I am in a stage of life where I take my girls to school every morning, clean the house, make meals. watch a 1 year old 3 days a week, am available to my friends and family if they need something, I paint every room of my house, pay the bills, grocery shop, help a friend now and then, pick up girls from school, help with homework, run said girls all over the place….. rinse and repeat!
So I guess you would say my trial is that I have no mountain to climb right now.
I’m bored, I feel marginalized, It feels that I have “settled” for an ordinary life. I thrive on big, I thrive on challenges and goals and being useful. and yet I’m pretty sure that for now this is exactly where God has called me to be….I want to write something that encouraged women, I want to speak to young moms and encourage them, I want to speak with Lily to churches and encourage others to adopt, and yet no doors have opened. And as I have prayed and asked why I hear the same thing…wait. You are where I want you to be right now. AND I HATE IT….
So I think my test is to wait. I have never been a good waiter 🙂 shocking to most of you im sure 😉 I once read that it is not the mountains that get us, but the sand in our shoes. that a challenge is often easier then the waiting. so I wait….listen…..trust…CRY SCREAM, STOMP, AND YELL…then wait and trust some more…rinse and repeat!
Oh, Cyndi. You make me smile … even at such a serious subject! You are such a good writer – honest yet humorous! And yes, routine and waiting are the hardest things! And what gets us is the “sand in our shoes”!
thank you so much Diane! this comment made my night!
🙂
I think, Cyndi, you and Lily would be great doing that. Will pray God will open a door for that and that you will be a good waiter! 🙂
Oh Dee, I’m afraid that may be like praying for patience! couldn’t you just pray that HE would make it happen real quick so that I didn’t have to wait?!?!?!?!?! 😉
🙂
I really do pray He will open a door for you and use you mightily!
Cyndi, I said the very same words to a friend about a month ago as we were walking: “I’m bored.” Your description of what you do in a day is so like my life (on the days I’m not at work), except my 17 yr old drives herself to school! But I clean, run errands, make dinner, pay bills, help my parents….rinse and repeat! I want you to know that you are invaluable to your family, though….you are taking care of them and your home, and that is important! I really thrived on all of that when all 3 of my kids were at home. My house just seems much emptier and quiet now with only 1 child left at home, and the other two so far away they can’t even visit. I am very anxious for when my daughter goes to college in 2 years and what I will do then. Somehow, keeping house for just me and my husband doesn’t sound very exciting. But yes, there are days when I feel bored, and wonder if this is all there is for me to do? But then, I think of my sister who has no children, is retired, and loves being at home (her husband still works), taking care of her home, yard, dogs, and cooking. She is very content.
Susan thank you for your kind words. I know you understand. I can tell your heart is to be a mama as well. I truly believe God wants me to struggle right now. I know he has something that he wants to tell me but I also think he wants me to take the journey it’s going to take to learn it.
I’m getting a very late start on the study this week 🙂
2. How did God lead you to this blog? In the fall of 2010 I went to a weekend retreat where Dee was the speaker. During that time I filled out a card indicating my desire to join an online study. In the spring of 2011 I suffered the tragic loss of a family member, shortly afterwards I got an email inviting me to join the study The God Of All Comfort.
I didn’t know then how much I was going to need not only the study, but the sisterhood of the blog members. I plunged into a very deep suicidal depression. I was not able to open up and be honest about what I was going through with anyone other than with my counselor and here on the blog. I thought I was a strong, deeply rooted, unshakeable Christian, but everything fell apart. I really lost myself.
The ladies here not only listened to and encouraged me, they continually pointed me to the One that I could fully trust no matter what. I am ever grateful for that and love each of you dearly.
And like Lizzy I was amazed that Dee actually was here leading, teaching, commenting and challenging us.
Dawn–SO good to see you! And your #2 made my eyes tear up, so thankful He brought you here. We are always so blessed by your transparency & honesty.
I don’t know that I’ve ever heard that story, Dawn. But you are dear to us.
Dawn is a gift to me because if there is a typo in the blog, she lets me know early on. I don’t have a paid copy editor, I have Dawn!
Dawn, ” …pointed me to the One that I could fully trust no matter what.” So true. Thankful God loves us!
Dawn, I do remember about your loss; I believe it was a niece who was in a car accident? I’m so glad God landed you HERE, and that Dee’s study ministered to you.
7. Read Matthew 16:21-22
A. What did Jesus know?
He must die.
B. Why did Peter think Jesus was stepping outside of God’s plan?
Jesus didn’t deserve to die. It wasn’t fair, it seemed cruel.
8. Read Genesis 44
A. How did Joseph test the hearts of his brothers?
Joseph had his servant fill his brothers bags with food and their money, and told him to put his silver cup in Benjamin’s bag. Then as soon as they left, he had his steward go after them and accuse them of taking the chalice. He told them that whoever has the chalice must be his slave. The cup was found in Benjamin’s bag and all the brothers returned.
B. How did Judah demonstrate the heart of genuine repentance?
He offered his life in place of Benjamin’s, pleading that he stay as Joseph’s slave instead, in order to save his father.
C. God has to bring us to conviction before we see our need for a Savior. How has God brought you to conviction?
By His grace, I am daily convicted of my own sin. He very often uses my wise 11 year old. Yesterday, He used a dear friend here. She mentioned looking at her own strong response to another’s sin, and asking herself what idol was at work, causing such a strong response. It pierced my heart. I tend to respond very strongly to my children’s sin, especially one. I had to look at why—the idol of wanting to appear “pulled together”, like a “good Christian family” …the fact that my pretty family picture had been ruined? My ugly pride rearing its head once again. But lately God has been speaking to me of His generosity. He is a generous, lavishly so, God. He loves to pour on more and more forgiveness, grace, mercy. I can honestly say as a parent, nothing lifts me more than seeing true repentance in my children. It’s beautiful. Life-giving to me. Tonight at dinner, Philip was playing too silly & dumped his big bowl of rice ALL over the floor. When he was first home, no matter how much we tried to console, he used to cry uncontrollably when he “messed up”, for he feared great punishment. Tonight, he sat quiet, staring at the floor as I sweeped up the mess. Finally he looked right at me and said ‘sorry Mama”. I couldn’t have had my arms around him any faster. With that sweet sound of sincere repentance, it felt like party time. My sincere repentance to God is a gift He allows that blesses Him, and restores me, and in turn strengthens our relationship. Not sure how I got here, sorry but too late to edit!
I love this story of Philip, Lizzy. The picture of trust and heartfelt repentance is beautiful. If only we could be that trusting of God. Let’s all be quick repenters.
Oh Lizzy of the play-dough heart. So proud of you.
I think it is true we need to look at our severe responses to another’s sin — so good. For all of us.
And Philip. Oh. He can say Sorry Mama.
Lizzy, I can just picture the scene! So sweet, “Sorry Mama”. I hate to tell you, but spills continue for a long time….my 17 year old still knocks things over!
Chris I remember reading the story of you losing your son and being amazed that you were brave enough to share your journey with us. Thank you for your transparency oh, you’re willing this to be real here is one of the things that kept me coming back. You are my hero.
4. Look at Proverbs 16:9 in more than one translation. What is God saying? Does this mean we shouldn’t make plans?
“We should make plans – counting on God to direct us.” (TLB)
“A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure.” (Amplified)
I believe that yes, we should make plans because we can’t live our lives recklessly and completely spontaneously. For example, I’ve told my husband that when we turn 60, we should purchase long-term care insurance. That’s wise planning for the future in case we live to be very old and need care. I think this proverb is saying that we should pray about big decisions and certainly include God in our plans. Perhaps it also means that if we are His, and we are acting foolishly and making “plans” that are unwise or could harm us, God will direct us another way – He may have to use discipline or unpleasant consequences to bring us around.
5. Give an illustration of Proverbs 16:9 from your life.
Last winter when the job I had at the hospital was going to come to an end, and I knew I had to find another position, I really didn’t know what to do, except to return to staff nursing on one of the units. It’s all I felt I knew how to do. Having been at the same hospital for 30 years, I felt at a loss to do a resume and all that stuff! That was the only plan I had. God really did lead me to my new job as a part-time home care coordinator. The job wasn’t even posted yet, and one of the coordinators happened to mention to my friend who also works there that they were looking for someone; she immediately thought of me and she told me about the job. And, that coordinator later told me she was praying for someone to fill the position. So I feel God directed me right into this new job, which seems to be a perfect fit for me. I’m glad He directed my steps because I didn’t know where to go! I feel like He did the hard work of job hunting for me!
Susan — I have sensed increasing joy in your nursing ministry — now I know why! How wonderful.
6.A. Why the hatred for Joseph? His father favored him openly. Joseph had dreams that his brothers would bow to him. Plus, he ratted on his brothers. None of these were endearing.
B. Why the hatred for Jesus? He threatened their position, much as Joseph’s favored status and dreams did with his brothers. Plus, Jesus called out their sin.
C. Both were betrayed by ones close to them, and sold for a small amount of money.
7.B. Peter couldn’t see the Messiah as doing anything but ruling and reigning. Certainly not suffering and dying.
7. Read Matthew 16:21-22
A. What did Jesus know?
He knew His fate. He knew he would suffer, die, and be resurrected.
B. Why did Peter think Jesus was stepping outside of God’s plan?
I suppose because he couldn’t imagine anything so awful happening to Jesus? He couldn’t beilive God would allow these things to happen to Him?
8. Read Genesis 44
A. How did Joseph test the hearts of his brothers?
He tested them by planting a silver cup inside Benjamin’s sack as they were leaving. Joseph had his servant search the bags and “found” it. Benjamin was supposed to stay and be his servant, but the brothers pleaded with him using their heart broken father as the excuse.
B. How did Judah demonstrate the heart of genuine repentance?
Judah offered himself instead of Benjamin.
C. God has to bring us to conviction before we see our need for a Savior. How has God brought you to conviction?
Many times over, I would say. Mostly it has to do with my children’s decisions. I am in the midst of that right now.
C. God has to bring us to conviction before we see our need for a Savior. How has God brought you to conviction?
Through His Word. Through the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Through the awareness of my need for Him because without Him, I am truly nothing.
9. What confidence, despite all his suffering, did Joseph have according to Genesis 50:19-21?
That even if his brothers intended harm, God INTENDED it for good the saving of many lives.
10. How is Christ’s response to us, as sinners, like unto Joseph’s response to his brethren?
The brothers were not deserving of Joseph’s forgiveness and neither are we of Jesus’. And yet He loved us while we were yet sinners.
11. What trouble are you facing right now that God is allowing to test you? How are you doing with the test, and why?
The issue at school with one of the parents. I believe God is giving me the opportunity to participate in the crucible of suffering and learn to be joyful and patient in such a time. I see His hand at work as the parent came today and asked for forgiveness. I initially wanted to show her the door and tell her there is no need to talk after what she has said and done but I felt the Spirit nudging to give her an audience with me. I am glad I did because in the course of our conversation she told me that she hesitated to come because she was afraid I will not talk to her. But a mutual friend of ours who is a Christian advised her to talk to me. I am still not sure where this situation will go but her visit was a step to a resolution. I am trusting God to go ahead of me as we make a decision next week with the administrators involved.
12. What application can you make of this to your life right now?
See answer to # 11.
Wow, Bing! God is really at work with your interaction with this parent. You were very courageous to follow the Spirit’s leading and to give her an audience. Well done, Bing! Keep us informed with what the administrators’ decide.
This is indeed a step in the right direction! So glad you are waiting for God’s guidance, Bing. I know it is hard, but He really does move in mysterious ways. Just yesterday I prayed for his help, as I was going into my class a bit unprepared and really needing more time to understand how to explain a difficult problem to my students. I needed to meet with a colleague to ask a few questions about the problem in question. I prayed that God would do something to help me get through. He did! When I presented the problem to the colleague, he began discussing a different problem, thinking it was the one I questioned. Apparently, the new text took this problem OUT (I was working from a previous edition.) I was stunned. He really did help my plight! Love, love, love when that happens. I was saved! I will continue to pray for your situation and please keep us informed.
Wow Bing — God on the move.
Bing, wow! I don’t know where this lady is at spiritually, but perhaps the Lord did work on her heart, too. That’s huge that she asked for forgiveness! And you responded so graciously. We can hope and pray that this mom will grow up and mature in order to help her daughter to be all she can be.
8.A. Joseph tested his brothers by hiding a special cup in Benjamin’s grain sack and threatening to keep him in Egypt.
B. Judah demonstrated genuine repentance by being broken and saying he didn’t want to bring grief to their father. He hadn’t cared about that before.
C. How has God brought me to conviction? He let me stumble around for two years, trying to be good on my own, until I realized I can never be good. That is when I literally knelt down, told Him I was sorry for all the bad in me and said if He wanted me He could have all of me.
9.A. Joseph’s confidence was in God’s sovereignty. He had also been able to see some of the bigger picture and could say that at least part of the bigger picture was God using him to save and preserve his family throughout the years of the drought/famine.
10. Christ’s response to us is like Joseph’s in that Jesus endured the cross and all that came with it, looking forward to providing salvation for us. Joseph didn’t choose what happened to him, but Jesus knew that was what needed to happen to Him, and He was able to ‘scorn the shame for the joy set before Him’ in us.
9. What confidence, despite all his suffering, did Joseph have according to Genesis 50:19-21?
His confidence was in God; He made all the things occur the way they did and used the situation for good.
10. How is Christ’s response to us, as sinners, like unto Joseph’s response to his brethren?
Christ forgives us over and over again. He gives us grace.
11. What trouble are you facing right now that God is allowing to test you? How are you doing with the test, and why?
We are being tested beyond belief by having two little babies to raise, and my daughter supposedly away trying to make a place to live for herself with her boyfriend. She is living in hotels or wherever she can find a place to stay. She has pawned her phone for money even though she supposedly has a job. I am truly sad on two fronts; one for her and one for her kids.
Every time we face a stumbling block, He provided a solution to our issue. It has happened over and over again these last months! Things I can’t even imagine…little things like the work issue I had a couple of days ago (I mentioned to Bing above). I am running on little sleep because there is a lot going on in my house at night when I need to be working on my job (teaching my material this semester) and it isn’t always getting done. Bigger things, like my community college job getting cancelled this semester but an online substitute job (all the curriculum is there and I just have to facilitate the class) becoming available next semester (meaning I can do that job from home and not have to leave the house). I pray a lot because sometimes I just don’t have time to get everything done!
12. What application can you make of this to your life right now?
He makes beautiful things when we step step out of the way and let Him work. I am having trouble forgiving my daughter right now; I will forgive like Joseph, but it will just take me time to get over the pain and hurt and anger towards her first. Joseph’s brothers were awful to him. Sarah has been awful to us (REALLY). How could you treat your parents so badly? We’ve tried so hard to help her over the past few years (you all know this). She has betrayed us. That’s hard to get over and I’m not sure my husband will. He isn’t like me in this way, so maybe I should ask prayers for him? People have pointed out that we should be working on having time for ourselves in these later years; my husband is resentful, yet he is the one who won’t let the grandkids go; a control thing on his part. We are struggling with us. You can imagine. Maybe I should read the Joseph story to him to remind him?
Here is one thing I don’t understand; I see Him trying to refine me and make me the best I can be. However is this at my daughter’s expense? What about the people around you during your refinement? Will she ever come around? Or does she just suffer forever so that I learn the lessons I need to for the good of my salvation? I don’t know if I am explaining that well or not? It’s not just in my situation either…everyone has something in their lives (I’m sure) that God is using to refine them. But what happens to the people around them who are part of the process? I don’t want my daughter to suffer because I need to learn a lesson.
Oh Laura, you are truly walking a very, very hard road. You and your husband have a huge responsibility now to care for your two grandchildren, and work, and I can only imagine how tired you are! (There’s a reason we have our kids when we’re younger….I don’t do as well at my age losing sleep as I was able to in my 20’s and 30’s) You ask good questions in your last paragraph. You ask, “I see Him trying to refine me and make me the best I can be. However is this at my daughter’s expense? Or does she just suffer forever so that I learn the lessons I need to for the good of my salvation?” Laura, you are suffering as the result of Sarah’s poor choices, because she is not doing the right thing. But she has free choice to live her life as she pleases – God gives us the freedom to choose. So, I do not believe that God is letting her suffer in order to teach you life lessons, or to refine you, but you are being refined as you RESPOND to what is going on and as you endeavor to walk through this depending upon God, and following the lead of His Spirit. You could respond the wrong way: becoming bitter, angry, selfish. We see you responding the right way: praying, seeking Him, depending upon Him, stepping up and taking care of those children, continuing to work on forgiveness. As long as Sarah continues to live as if God has no place in her life, she is going to have a hard time, but that is her free will choice. Does this help or make sense to you?
My heart goes out to you, Laura, in this hard situation you are in. So tough. But I agree with Susan. “I do not believe that God is letting her suffer in order to teach you life lessons, or to refine you”. God may be using this tough situation to teach you many important lessons, but it is never at someone else’s expense. Likewise, God still has his hand on Sarah and is continuing to work with her, though she may be running hard from him right now. It is sad, but God is in control and sees the big picture that we cannot see. The story is not finished yet! It is amazing how God works on all of us at the same time.
You and your family continue in my prayers. I am adding special pleas for your husband now as well. Hugs to you both and the babies too!
8. Read Genesis 44
A. How did Joseph test the hearts of his brothers?
By setting up Benjamin to be implicated in a theft, then demanding his life as a slave as payment.
B. How did Judah demonstrate the heart of genuine repentance?
This moves me so, he pleads that he be allowed to take Benjamin’s place.
He had changed, he hated Joseph because of Jacobs love for him, Benjamin was now the favored son, Judah was willing to lay down his life to spare his fathers heart the loss of another son. His heart had changed. I wonder how much the repentance God led him thorough regarding Tamar played into who Judah had become now.
C. God has to bring us to conviction before we see our need for a Savior. How
has God brought you to conviction?
He brought me to conviction as a child, again as a pregnant teen, and daily I see my inclination to serve myself, I can so quickly be petty or mean in my thoughts, I can be so driven by the approval of peole. He forgives me all my iniquities, his kindness makes me want to serve him instead of me.
Thinking back to our good discussion on suffering and why it happens might be helpful. I attached a pdf of that either last week or the week before. God will use your suffering and Sara’s (for she is suffering even though she is being difficult). He wastes nothing. This is so hard — just taking care of my grandchildren for a few days wearies me, so my heart goes out to you. It is wonderful your husband cares for these children so much — he sounds like a good man. Forgiveness is very painful — and I’ll pray you can do it. I love you.
6. Read Genesis 37
A. Why did his brothers hate Joseph?
Because Joseph was Jacob’s favorite, and it was evident that he loved Joseph more than his other sons. Joseph would kind of taunt them with his dreams he was having which pictured him being bowed down to, and this only increased their hatred of him.
B. Why did the Pharisees and the religious leaders hate Jesus?
Because He didn’t cooperate with them, didn’t go along with their religious rules….He “bucked” the system. He was a friend of sinners and many people loved Jesus and turned to Him and away from the established religious system. They couldn’t control Him, and He openly challenged them.
C. How was Joseph betrayed by his brothers? How was Jesus?
When Joseph’s brothers saw him from afar, they plotted to kill him. Reuben, however, said don’t kill him, just throw him into a well (he had resolved to get Joseph out and take him back home). But the others ended up selling Joseph to some traders passing by for twenty shekels of silver, and Joseph was taken as a slave to Egypt. The Pharisees and religious leaders were plotting to kill Jesus, and they got their “inside man” in Judas, who agreed to help betray the Lord into their hands for twenty shekels of silver.