Last week we looked at how just as God ordained purity and passion for marriage, He also longs for a pure and passionate bride. This week we will consider how God ordained male and female for marriage and also covenant for marriage — and how these both also apply to our relationship with Him. (This first point is challenging, and I’d love comments to help me make it better, clearer, and stronger.)
WHAT CAUSED ADAM TO BREAK OUT
INTO SONG UPON SEEING EVE?
FINALLY, HERE WAS SOMEONE LIKE HIM.
BONE OF HIS BONE
FLESH OF HIS FLESH,
AND YET,
SO OTHER.
IN THE SAME WAY, WE ARE LIKE HIM.
AND YET, SO NOT LIKE HIM
THE SONG PUTS THIS POETICALLY.
HE IS LIKE AN APPLE TREE IN THE GARDEN THAT
PROVIDES SUSTENANCE AND SHELTER.
INDEED, HE IS THE TREE OF LIFE.
SHE IS LIKE A FLOWER THAT BRINGS
BEAUTY AND FRAGRANCE TO THE GARDEN
THIS IS, IN PART, THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE
THAT POINTS TO SOMETHING FAR MORE WONDERFUL.
Sunday:
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
Monday-Thursday Bible Study:
POINT ONE: Similarity yet Otherness
In The Mystery of Marriage, Mike Mason writes of this “mysterious, compelling combination of similarity and otherness:”
…Marriage is living with glory… It is living with a mystery that is fully visible, with a flesh-and-blood person who can be touched and held, questioned and probed and examined and even made love to, to our heart’s content, but who nevertheless proves to be utterly and impenetrably mysterious, infinitely contemplable.
As for me, I still haven’t gotten used to seeing my own wife naked. It’s almost as if her body is shining with a bright light, too bright to look at for very long. I cannot take my eyes off her – and yet I must. Too gaze too long or too curiously is, even with her, a breach of propriety, almost a crime. It is not like watching a flower or creeping up to spy on an animal in the wild. No, my wife’s body is brighter and more fascinating than a flower, shier than any animal, and more breathtaking than a thousand sunsets.
2. Mike Mason draws upon images from nature to describe his wife’s body, just as Solomon does. Take, for example, Song of Songs 4:5 and see imagine what he might be saying, though ever so discreetly.
3. Find a passage in The Song where the lovers are describing one another, and you can see them exalting in the difference between them.
4. Why do you think God ordained man and woman rather than two of the same gender for marriage? (Express this tactfully and winsomely as you might if dialoguing with someone who endorses same sex marriage.)
A strong argument can be made for the value of a child having both a mother and a father, for they bring different strengths to that child’s life. But what if there is an even deeper reason for God ordaining one man and one woman for marriage? What if it is a picture of His relationship with us? Comments?
5. Challenge question: What are some of the ways we, unlike the animals, are like God?
6. What are some of the ways that God is not like you — for which you are so thankful?
Last week a point Deanna made about how couples grow more and more like each other as they grow closer made me think of how the same is true of us as we behold Him, surrender to HIm, trust Him, and abide in Him. I’m in the prisons this week — seeing COMPLETELY transformed women. They are spending hours and hours each day with Jesus, and oh, what a difference it makes. (More next week!)
The Song sings of the bridegroom who is “the fairest of ten thousand,” mighty in strength, and fragrant with “myrrh,” the aroma of sacrifice. This is no ordinary bridegroom. This is our True Husband who can satisfy us in a way that no earthly husband, no matter how wonderful he might be, can. Marriage is a gift, but a transitory one, meant to point us to our True Husband.
He is like us, yet so mysteriously Other that we cannot help but wonder how, indeed, One so glorious could love us, could see us as we really are, could see us “naked,” and yet love us to the sky. Each of us has times when we wonder if it is really true that He, despite our constant failing, will always love us. To assuage our fears, He has made a covenant with us.
POINT 2: COVENANT
Recently in a discussion about sex in an evangelistic Bible study I facilitate, I was challenged: “Where in the Bible does it say there has to be a wedding? My partner and I have privately made promises to each other – we don’t need a piece of paper telling us we did.”
7. How would you answer this? Can you find an illustration in The Song of a wedding with witnesses?
8. What do you learn about how God views marriage covenants from Malachi 2:14?
The earthly covenant, sacred before God, points to a deeper covenant. God has made a covenant with His children, promising to love us for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, and in sickness and in health. Even when we fail Him, He will be true. He longs for us to love Him the same way, no matter how our circumstances fluctuate, but even when we do not, He will be true. We will flounder, and He knows that, but if we are truly His, no one can pluck us out of His hand.
When Martin Luther was endeavoring to recapture the gospel for his peers who had gone back to trying to earn favor with God, he took the verse “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine” and talked about what happens in a wedding ceremony. Everything that belongs to the bride now belongs to the groom—and everything that belongs to the groom now belongs to the bride.
9. Challenge Question: So what do we, as the bride of Christ, give our Bridegroom? And what does He give us?
10. How sure is God’s covenant with us? Support with Scripture if you can?
11. Challenge Question: Hosea prophesied a change would one day come to God’s people in Hosea 2:19-23. Describe this and then, see if you can see this pictured in Song of Songs 6:3?
12. Last week one of you talked about the importance of how learning to trust your husband in the marriage bed was key to experiencing what God intended. In the same way, as we learn to trust God, we find a deeper surrender. Are you experiencing this?
Friday: Sermon
You will have two weeks again — but you may want to get started! If so, share comments.
James Hamilton Song of Songs 2
Saturday
13. What is your take-a-way and why?
127 comments
Good Morning My Dear Sisters! Posting later than usual. Time in prison is wonderful but tiring — and I slept in! Appreciate prayers for today for I’m headed to protective custody where I’ve never been — Linda tells me this group will be challenging.
Oh my yes, challenging. Praying. Is this men or women in the protective custody area?
continuing prayers Dee!
Thank you so much, Lizzy. Linda is sick so I’m headed into these high security prisons without her. I know the Lord will be with me but I am so thankful for your prayers. She is sending a young man with me, which is good.
and Dee, the Lord brought to mind 2 Kings 6:17. “Then Elisha prayed and said, ‘O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see. ‘ So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”
Dee, I will pray for you right now about going into those high security prisons. God must have a plan in this.
1. What stood out to you from the above and why? The exquisite BEAUTY of what God has ordained in the “otherness” of man and woman. All of the artwork and photography that you chose to share here is visually arresting, Dee. When I ponder the “gay marriage debate” – and I DON’T want to meander there for long! – I am always MUCH more drawn and convinced by the POSITIVE pictures and truths presented in the Scriptures about God’s design in marriage than by the Scriptures that speak (very clearly) of homosexuality as sin. Looking at the loveliness you have given us here this morning in your introduction, Dee, I am awestruck anew by God’s design……and that the most staggering thing about marriage between a man and a woman is the picture of the union of Christ and His Bride……or, in the OT, of God and Israel, His bride, His people. My visceral response to this morning’s post is AWE before a Holy God.
1. What stood out to you from the above and why? The nakedness of Adam and Eve. Again I am struck by the beauty that God has created that over time has been tainted into “bad.” Yes, there needs to be modesty and caution and decorum but not to miss the beauty behind that. There is a wall around the garden but that does not mean the garden should not be enjoyed within that wall.
“Snowed in” here in coastal Virginia…not too bad but churches all canceled due to bad roads. The snow is beautiful in brilliance and its covering, reminds me everytime of Christ’s righteousness that He clothes us with!
Dee, praying for you this morning, agreeing with Jackie that eyes be opened.
Good to hear that things aren’t too bad by you, Jill…I have been thinking and praying for you sisters on the east coast. Oh, I too love the beauty of snow, it’s brilliant white, fresh, pure covering of all the sludge and dirt…yes, it definitely brings to mind how Jesus covers my sin allowing me to be “clean.”
THANK YOU SO FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT AND PRAYERS. I WILL BE WITH WOMEN IN HIGH RISK PRISONS.
Dee,
May you see his tender mercies through, over, and in all of this.
Dee, I am seeing your posts about going into the high risk women’s prison today without Linda. Oh my. Praying now. I wonder what God is up too now in this? in you? in them? in Linda?
FINALLY, HERE WAS SOMEONE LIKE HIM.
BONE OF HIS BONE
FLESH OF HIS FLESH,
AND YET,
SO OTHER.
IN THE SAME WAY, WE ARE LIKE HIM.
Dee, it is unclear in this passage who the “Him” is that you are referring to. I think the first him is about Adam and the second him is of God but everything is capitalized so it is hard to tell what you are saying.
Sorry Diane. All caps is confusing. Yes, the first utterance was Adam’s and the second is God.
What stood out to me?
The song, Who Am I? Last week I followed along silently because it was hard and brought up hard topics, like passion and purity and ideas that I struggled with. After listening to the Grammar of Grace and the sermon twice, it is beginning to come together, though difficult.
Who am I? A flower quickly fading… yes, it is a picture that I can relate to. I am so grateful for grace, for him loving me, for him forgiving me, for knowing that I am loved. The marriage picture is difficult, as marriage is a journey for me. It grows on me, yet is never easy and the comparison of the Song to marriage and the picture of Christ and the bride is so incredibly significant.
This week I have been listening to a reading of Hinds’ Feet on High Places, and the picture of the Shepherd helps me to relate to the Shulamite and the Shepherd. Poetic language is beautiful, yet is hard for me. But I really love the song Who Am I?
Shirley – I so appreciate the way you have said this….and they way you are persevering and pursuing truth and it’s application to your life – even though so very hard. I noted that right on the heels of stating how hard this topic is for you, came the admission that you listened twice to the sermon and the Grammar of Grace…..such a great example of the teachable heart you are to me in this! Thank you.
Dee, I am praying for you as you minister to these women. God has a special message to them through you, I know.
The prison ministry is one dear to my heart and I am praying for these women to know that Jesus loves them. He knows who they are because of who He is and He hears them when they call. May God bless you and strengthen you as you share with them.
I don’t think I’ll be able to keep up this week, but had some time today and this blessed me!
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
I know here the Scripture says “rose of Sharon” but I did think of how the flowers on an apple tree point to the coming of fruit (right, Wanda?) He is the apple tree—we are meant to point to Him, and we can only have life because of His life. Also that He does allow us to bring something—beauty and fragrance—but we cannot exist without the Tree of Life. Our beauty and fragrance is only because of, bestowed on us by, Him. We love, because He first loved us.
And in earthly marriage, male and female—in his “maleness” my husband reflects an aspect of God’s glory that I do not. Yes, he is the leader of our home, he is physically stronger than me, but it is so much more than that. He is wired completely differently than me, in a unique-to-men way. And I love the ways we are different—it is what allows a melody. In all of life, there is beauty in two seemingly opposing forces working together—only where the sky meets the land is there a sunset. Only when the rain meets the sun, is there a rainbow. I think the beauty of God can only be truly revealed in the union of the 2 “opposite” beings becoming one.
Thank you so much, Lizzy! You put into words beautifully a lot of what I felt going through this today.
Beautifully put, Lizzy.
Oh, agreed…I love your second paragraph, Lizzy…how very true…there is synergy in the bond of a man and a woman.
This, Lizzy. Stunning description.
Glad I came to scroll through today. And yes, about the apple trees. 🙂
Lizzy – as several here have already said, this is a lovely post! It occurred to me that if every person approaching marriage could “get” your one sentence – “And I love the ways we are different – it is what allows a melody.’…..well, it simply dissipates so much of what we waste so much time on!! These are invaluable words of wisdom for our young people! 🙂 Vive la difference!!!
1. What stood out from the intro? So much! The fact that in marriage we are so alike and yet so different; and that is magnified with the Lord. We are SO other and yet He comes to us in love, initiating the relationship and sustaining it. The words from Casting Crowns are so powerful and uplifting. I am exhilerated by these truths and catching a glimpse of our someday being unhindered by our fallen state.
7. Needing a ceremony and seeing it in the Song- 2:4 He has taken me into the banquet hall showing the wedding feast. 3:4 bringing him to her mother’s tent or room. Maybe like Isaac with Rebekah, getting married. And 3:11 his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding….
8. Malachi 2:24. Dee, did you mean verse 14?? God hates divorce. Jesus spoke of exceptions but that they were for the hardness of our hearts. All of us are hardened of heart without Him and His power to be different, and I have a really difficult time figuring out how people without the Lord manage to keep their marriages together.
10. How sure is God’s covenant? Heb 13:5 he never leaves or forsakes us, and 2 Tim 2:13 if we are faithless He remains faithful, for He cannot disown Himself (and as His bride, we are His body, Himself)
13. Take away – I am really enjoying this study. It is opening my eyes and heart to see Christ in the Song, the “object lesson” of marriage, and to desire Him even more!
By the way, Dee. I always click the notify me of follow up comments, but it never works…. Thank you for all you are doing for us, and for the women in prison. May you come away full from all He gives you through today….
Mary — could you write david@controlyours.com about that?
And thanks for the catch on the verse — I did mean 14 and will change it.
Getting here late. My Mom is in the hospital. All is okay but a very big surgery coming up. Feeling such an incredible peace of God today. Dee I would love to hear how today went. I sense the Lord wanting to lead me into more areas of great challenge. More stretching of my faith. I pray it went well.
I too loved the song. Our pastor actually chose that very one today as part of his sermon:)
Okay I have a thought here I have always pondered but never put into a question. As far as being a woman it seems easy being called the bride of Christ. I have thought what is it like for a man???
Liz – this is a GREAT question and one I would love to hear godly men expound upon!! In thinking of all the messages I’ve heard by good teachers, I’m not recalling ever hearing this specifically addressed! My son goes to a men’s small group tonight (not sure though in the wake of this monster storm from the weekend!) and I’ll ask him to throw out this question to them! 🙂
Jackie would love to hear the responses:) Thank you.
As far as my Moms surgery hopefully we will know more Monday. At least now she is home. Thank you for the prayer!
Liz – the plan is for Zack to share the question this Monday night…..last Monday night was cancelled…..our snow here in Maryland was a RECORD BREAKER!! His group is mainly “younger men”…..under 40 I believe (not by design, but just the way this group has panned out I guess) so this will be from younger men’s perspective. If they will answer it!!!! 🙂
Liz raises a good question — would love some responses.
oh and I meant to ask when your mom is having surgery? praying right now that this peace of God you are experiencing will be hers as well…….
Liz: I agree with others, that this is a great question. It’s occurred to me a time or two, but I’ve never kept it in my mind long enough to ask anyone. I’m not writing much right now, but I hope to scroll back through and see if any responses emerge here. Stopping now to pray for your mom’s surgery/recovery. Thanks for sharing.
Wanda Thank you for the prayer. Have you ever asked your husband this question?
Wanda I scrolled sown and saw about your hands. I pray for your healing there. I also saw you were going to ask your husband. I meat to ask my Pastor tonight. Somehow I think he would answer somewhat similar to Lizzy’s husband but I will make it a point to ask
Liz……I still have it on my ‘list’ to ask my husband. So much has come up this week, that the few hours I’ve seen him, I couldn’t squeeze it in, in a way that would make sense! I am still going to try. 🙂 Tomorrow, we are both here. Thank you for your prayers re: my hands. So appreciated.
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
The scripture passage from Genesis 1:27 — I have read and heard it many times, but suddenly I saw a paradox. God made humankind in his image — but he created them male and female. How can that be? It makes me ponder what God’s gender is. However, I am convinced that it was God’s plan to make male and female different — each to be the most perfect complement of the other.
Deanna raises another good question and would love to hear some responses!
Deanna, This is pretty ‘off the cuff’ since I read your question 10 seconds ago. But here’s my initial thought.
Every individual is created in His image, correct? This is something that we were challenged with at the very beginning of our Children’s Ministry program start up at church last fall. When we have lost patience or are frustrated with a child’s behavior, remember that he/she is created in the image of God. That’s been helpful to me BECAUSE it helps me see that everyone, individually has His image: baby, child, teen, young adult, old adult…..black, white, brown…..any ethnicity, any language, any time period. If that is all true, then it doesn’t seem so strange, that both men and women are created in His image. Since God is our Father, I don’t ever see him as female, but I guess I don’t see him as a physical person until I look at Jesus, who is our brother and Lord. Yet, being a woman, this doesn’t change my belief that I am created in His image. I think it is because I know that, unlike other living beings, we humans have a living soul. Though we are mortals in this life, we are created to be immortal. And we are created to receive His plan of redemption which is for all of humankind, regardless of any of the above (and any other) differences.
I’m sure there is more. I’d love to hear other’s thoughts too.
Wanda – fantastic ” off the cuff” response! Your words here are like a springboard for my own thinking and digging! I so love your deep pondering ways…..and when you respond spontaneously, the deep well of God’s wisdom and your intimate walk with Him really shine for me! GREAT application as well to our time with “little ones”!! 🙂
I had to jump in–not that I have ANY thing profound to share really! But I feel like an escape here in thought–with Deanna’s question–my gut response is that God is bigger than, beyond gender. We (humans) are made in His image–but image doesn’t pertain to gender. Gender, to me, is the necessary difference in components of His glory–one human being alone cannot posses all to reflect His glory..and of course since the Fall, we in marriage do not perfectly reflect this glory either–but the 2 separate genders are only necessary (only pertain to?) in His creation–not in God himself. I am clear as mud, even to myself now, so I’ll stop! And really not sure, that’s probably way off, I haven’t researched that thought at all!
As for Liz‘s question–I was going to ask my husband Jon, but then I remembered Dee had his quote on the Songs here a few weeks ago, but here is part of it (and I preface with saying he’s a sports-loving, outdoorsy, “non-poetic” type of guy!) “So of course the Song should contain whispers of Christ. From that viewpoint, I can see Him pursuing me, rescuing me from my own sense of inadequacy and failure, delighting in me, and declaring His love for me. It is amazing to think of myself as His beloved, and the Song sings it loud and clear.”
Lizzy – reading Jon’s words just now….don’t think we could ask for a BETTER answer to Liz’ question!! Thanks to Jon! He nails it. Still….I would love to throw Jon’s response in the ring along with LIz’ question to a group of godly men…..and listen in!! Wouldn’t it be fascinating???
Jackie–you bless me–you read so carefully and are so gracious with responses…humbles and inspires me. And I so agree–to hear more responses from men would be fascinating! After I had posted that last night, I did ask him directly Liz’s question and he said that honestly it used to be hard for him to try to imagine himself as the bride–but partly because (being a husband) it was hard to see a perfect Husband. He has no earthly father model, and his own weaknesses, he said, made it hard to relate…but that a few years ago, we saw this clip (came from Gospel Coalition) but of a very old couple (90’s+) and the wife was incredibly frail, I believe had dementia–and my husband said that watching the video of how the old husband cared so tenderly, so sacrificially, for his wife, gave him a taste of Christ’s love for us as the perfect Husband. It was interesting to me that part of the difficulty is not just in being the Bride, but imagining a perfect Husband-?
I have about ‘one response worth’ of stamina in my hand/fingers right now. Planned to just read and not write. But want to say that I am intrigued and blessed by the conversation here about men’s thoughts about being ‘the bride’. Lizzy, Jon’s response is really good. Now, I’m really curious. If I can find a moment that works, I will ask my husband and see what he says. I’ll only share it if it seems helpful. 😉 I’d really like to run it by my pastor. That won’t happen this week though.
Jackie I so agree with what Lizzy said about how you read carefully and gracious with your responses.
Lizzy this new response really touched me especially how he came to that watching that clip of the elderly couple.
Lizzy Wow that is quite a response from your husband. Thank you for sharing
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
I love that song by casting crowns. Tears.
Eve complements Adam. Together they reflect their creator.
praying for you Dee. Sorry I’m late this week. Posted my #1 but it’s not showing. I guess I messed up typing my info?
The apple tree bringing sustenance and life..I think of the passage in Song of Songs where He is the apple tree and she finds great delight sitting in the shade of Him tasting His fruit. He is satisfying her soul and His fruit becomes hers and His fragrance hers.
DIANE– I found the sermon I was referring to By Tim Keller on marriage. I relistened last night to make sure I was recommending the right sermon and it is so very, very good! His second point on the purpose of sex is what really helped me to see sex as it should be and not what I had always thought of is as….
It was given on 6/12/1994 The Freedom of Purity:The Sanctity of Sex (7) SKU RS 48-13-MP3
Link: http://www.gospelinlife.com/the-freedom-of-purity-the-sanctity-of-sex-7th-6328
Thanks so much, Jill. I hope you didn’t have too much work finding it. Thanks so much for listening to it to make sure it was the correct one. You are being very sweet!
Diane, no trouble at all! It was so good for me to relisten, I was glad for an excuse to listen to more Keller! ? I wish I had heard it before getting married. I intend to pass it on to believers who are getting married.
Deanna and Liz raise some good questions above — would love to hear responses.
Thank you so for praying for me in the prisons. God truly has met us. Yesterday I was disappointed at first because when we got to the women in protective custody (there are just eight) they refused to see us. But then they allowed us to go cell to cell in a different high security area, and we had some good conversations and prayers with many more women. I spoke to two larger groups who came in heads down but the Lord so revived them — laughter, tears…He is moving. I appreciate your continued prayers so much.
Linda thinks she has allergies and I know she’s determined to go in today but I’m not sure she should — pray God will show her. And indeed, God was with me. The young man who went with me yesterday stayed at my side and was wonderful. I think more women jumped out of their bunks to come talk to us because of that young man. 🙂
I was thinking about Deanna’s question. It is a good one and I think has been debated for a long time. All throughout scripture God is referred to as He but there could be more there I am not seeing with the word “He”.. He came in human form as a male. So I believe Scripture says He is a He but He has female attributes as stated several places in Isaiah.
Dee – so thankful that the prison experience was exactly what the Lord went before you and provided! Prisons are a fascinating place ….just as there are some of the most tender and “ready” hearts for the gospel….so there are also some of the hardest hearts possible too. Or at least that is what I have seen with the women here in Baltimore….as well as at the maximum security prison in Wisconsin (for men) that I have visited many times. I think that the “faith dorms” that you get to visit in Texas are simply AMAZING – and what a tribute to the vision of Karla Faye Tucker and the Linda Strom’s faith walk with Jesus as well!! And so many other prayer warriors and behind the scenes workers too. 🙂 No matter who He chooses to use…..taking the gospel to prisoners is always the LORD’S work! And a joyful one indeed.
I truly think that Liz’ question is a great one! But I think we should resource MEN themselves to get their input! Deanna’s pondering the gender of God is deep territory indeed! Good ground for digging – which I have not done yet.
and I really need to clarify that some of the “hardest of the hard” hearts in prison may end up being the very ones the Lord is calling by name! I didn’t mean to say they were “impossible”, but they can be kind of scary, actually! 🙂
2. Mike Mason draws upon images from nature to describe his wife’s body, just as Solomon does. Take, for example, Song of Songs 4:5 and see imagine what he might be saying, though ever so discreetly.
When Solomon refers to his lover’s breasts as being like twin fawns of a gazelle browsing among the lilies, that conjures up an image of beauty and gracefulness. This description is repeated in 7:3. Gazelles are sleek, smooth-appearing animals, and move gracefully. So I think Solomon is trying to discreetly say his lover’s breasts are smooth, curvaceous, and move gracefully.
3. Find a passage in The Song where the lovers are describing one another, and you can see them exalting in the difference between them.
If we compare the Shulammite’s description of her beloved’s legs in 5:15, she says “His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold.” Probably she is impressed by his strong legs. His description of her legs in 7:1, “Your graceful legs are like jewels,” speak more of her appearance, having gracefully curved calves without his mentioning of any admiration of her legs’ strength. A woman is more likely to boast of how strong her lover is, and a man is more likely to boast of what a “looker” his lover is.
I liked your answer to 3, Deanna.
2. Mike Mason draws upon images from nature to describe his wife’s body, just as Solomon does. Take, for example, Song of Songs 4:5 and imagine what he might be saying, though ever so discreetly. I had actually been wondering at this so the question forced me to do some thinking. Fawns are young. Fawns are shy. lilies represent purity and beauty. The fawns are feeding among not on the lilies. Her young breasts are a shy part of her beauty. What is he saying? He thinks her breasts are attractive and beautiful!
3. Find a passage in The Song where the lovers are describing one another, and you can see them exalting in the difference between them. Chapter 2:2-3. He describes her as a lily, she describes him as an apple tree. Both have fragrance but different. Chapter 2:6 and following she describes him in terms of strength. Chapter 4 he describes her in terms of softness and beauty, perfection in appearance and desirable in the details of her beauty. Each exalts in the other as they are not in what they have the same.
4. Why do you think God ordained man and woman rather than two of the same gender for marriage? When he made THEM in His image He puts parts of His character into each. The contrast and complimentarianism of the two different coming together is where we see the glory of Him. I loved what Lizzy said last week (paraphrasing) where sky and land meet we get a sunset, where rain and sunshine meet, we get a rainbow, etc. I also think practically His design was for reproduction. Something Keller said about when man and woman come together in love there is fruit in the children born, so, too, when Christ and the church come together there is fruit in the love that is shown and comes forth. When we seek “me” in a marriage (be it same or opposite sex) we lose the glory to God. There is something right and good when we have to strive and struggle and wrestle with differences to find love in action, instead of looking for love the feeling. The feeling will fade and is somewhat superficial, but love in action! That is a shadow of Him and that is more fulfilling that just getting what I want.
I wanted to pop in for a minute and say that I am doing the study and reading the comments, I just don’t feel like I have anything to add. Some of the things I’ve read like Mike Mason’s comments about his wife have had me asking myself, “Is this guy for real or is he just trying to gain popularity?” I know it seems cynical, but I guess I don’t connect to the poetic side of life.
I am truly seeking to look at it from the prospective of how Christ, not only feels about, but experiences the church. As long as I keep that in the forefront I think I’m learning something 🙂
Dawn – I am so glad to see you “pop in” here! I had been wondering about you just yesterday! 🙂 I know you have had more than a lot on your plate over this winter and it is wonderful that you are able to still do the study and are seeking and seeing Christ throughout! What could be better than that? 🙂 Also….as to Mike Mason’s comments – I know they can seem a bit “over the top”. I truly believe that MANY men feel those same things and have a terrible time overcoming the many barriers that exist between what they WANT to say and what they ACTUALLY say! Sadly, I think one of the biggest barriers is how a husband might perceive his wife’s acceptance and response to such words….which again circles back around to Dee’s reminder of how very much we are children of our culture and have been impacted by the corruption of pornographic and crude sexual words and imagery. But amazing healing can surely come through a study such as this very one we are embarking on together! The Word does heal and shape our minds and wills and emotions. What a gift!
5. Challenge question: what are some of the ways we, unlike the animals, are like God? The first thing I thought of was feelings. Animals have feelings, too, some even showing compassion, but humans emotions are more complex and have to be processed with action. Next is organized thought, comprehension, able to make plans. Intentional actions to invest in relationship or circumstances. Some animals do things like hoarding for the winter but I think this is God-designed, not a process of sitting down and making a to-do list. We communicate. We find and maintain relationships.
6. What are some of the ways that God is not like you – for which you are so thankful? He is faithful, I am unfaithful. He is wise, I see decisions through my self-lens. He does what is right, I do what is selfish and foolish. He is Holy, I am sinful. He is compassionate, I am scared. He holds all things in His hand, I drop whatever is given me. He is patience, I am impatient. He is kind, I am selfish. He is able, I am not. He is all-seeing, I am scared at what I do see. He does not doubt, I cannot comprehend. Yes, indeed, I am thankful!!
2. Mike Mason draws upon images from nature to describe his wife’s body, just as Solomon does. Take, for example, the Song of Songs 4;5 and imagine what he might be saying, though ever so discreetly.
I do think that God has built into each of us a deep appreciation for nature…..and it calls out to us of something “more”, something just beyond our grasp….something so like Eden. I think some deep part of every human KNOWS that we are living in the Shadowlands…….and so….observing nature can be simply mesmerizing. I truly think that here in this verse he is saying “I cannot take my eyes off you….you are compelling beyond description”……!!
I THINK JAMES HAMILTON MAY BE HELPFUL HERE. HE SAYS HER BODY IS COMPARED TO NATURE IN THAT IT IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE GARDEN OF EDEN, BRIMMING WITH LIFE. ELLEN DAVIS TALKS ABOUT HOW DESCRIPTIONS ARE BOTH OF THE LAND OF ISRAEL AND A WOMAN’S BODY. SORT OF LIKE REVELATION — THE NEW JERUSALEM COMING DOWN DRESSED AS A BRIDE.
Dee, I love this “brimming with life”. Right back to Eve, whose name means “life, living, lively…”. And tracing this all through from Eden to the New Jerusalem is so exciting!
and yes, I MUST listen to James Hamilton…..last week’s storm prep got in the way of doing that. I need all the help I can get! 🙂
2. Mike Mason draws upon images from nature to describe his wife’s body, just as Solomon does. Take, for example, Song of Songs 4:5 and see imagine what he might be saying, though ever so discreetly.
I don’t see Christ and the church in this verse at all; I see him admiring a beautiful woman. Since, again, I am struggling with SOS, I am leaning on a commentary (Biblehub.com). I still don’t get it.
Here is Matthew Henry;
4:1-7 If each of these comparisons has a meaning applicable to the graces of the church, or of the faithful Christian, they are not clearly known; and great mistakes are made by fanciful guesses. The mountain of myrrh appears to mean the mountain Moriah, on which the temple was built, where the incense was burned, and the people worshipped the Lord. This was his residence till the shadows of the law given to Moses were dispersed by the breaking of the gospel day, and the rising of the Sun of righteousness. And though, in respect of his human nature, Christ is absent from his church on earth, and will continue to be so till the heavenly day break, yet he is spiritually present in his ordinances, and with his people. How fair and comely are believers, when justified in Christ’s righteousness, and adorned with spiritual graces! when their thoughts, words, and deeds, though imperfect, are pure, manifesting a heart nourished by the gospel!
Verse 5. – Thy two breasts are like two fawns that are twins of a roe, which feed among the lilies. This is a beautiful and yet perfectly delicate figure, describing the lovely equality and perfect shape and sweet freshness of the maiden’s bosom. The meadow covered with lilies suggests beauty and fragrance. Thus the loveliness of the bride is set forth in seven comparisons, her perfections being sevenfold. “A twin pair of the young of the gazelle, lying in a bed covered with lilies, representing the fragrant delicacy and elegance of a chaste virgin besom, veiled by the folds of a dress redolent of sweet odour” (cf. Song of Solomon 1:13). The bridegroom, having thus delighted himself in praise of his bride’s loveliness, then proceeds to declare his desire for her sweet society, but he is interrupted by the bride.
Do you see any likenesses to The Garden of Eden Laura?
That’s a very interesting thought Dee, I have to mull on it.
3. Find a passage in the Song where the lovers are describing one another, and you can see them exalting in the difference between them.
I really got a little hung up on this one. I did like Jill’s comments on this question regarding the apple tree and the lily….how both have fragrance, but are different. Also….the lily is delicate and the apple tree is strong, with deep roots. But then again…there are references here from the King to the Bride…where he exalts in HER strength, beauty and grace all together! I guess I failed on this question – the differences just didn’t stand out to me in the context of their “exalting in the difference between them”.
4. Why do you think God ordained man and woman rather than two of the same gender for marriage?
This question also is too “big” for me! I can only default to God’s own words in Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him.'” It is worth noting that in the order of creation, this is the first time that God does NOT look upon His creation and say that it was good. Something very unique to Eve was the “helper fit for him”. Jesus affirms this powerfully in Matt 19:4-6. Though some things are very obvious – the very biological physical design of male and female, the ability for procreating, etc. – I’m not sure that God needs our “defense” of what He has created and ordained and called good. In fact, in reading these two passages back to back I literally felt a churning in my stomach at the cavalier fashion in which we have tried to nullify the Word of God in this regard. I think that we in our churches as we “cave” to the idea of marriage between two men or two women as being perfectly acceptable in God’s sight are going to have so much to answer for.
5. Challenge question: What are some of the ways the we, unlike the animals, are like God?
I had to laugh, because I do spend so much time with animals that I’m always reminding myself not to anthropomorphize them! Ironically, that made this question a little harder for me than it probably needed to be!
Much as I delight in my time with the critters….and I am endlessly fascinated with their intriguing behavior…..I surely can see that they have no concept of a relationship with God. God went to such unfathomable lengths to redeem us, to be in relationship with us, through Immanuel. God with us. We do crave relationship with our Creator (some would deny this, yes) – Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us that “he has put eternity into man’s heart, …..” And the Scriptures sing of His pursuit of those He calls His own, so it is a mutual longing between God and man for relationship and all that means. The kind of self sacrifice that Christ lived on the cross is our pattern…..and is to be how we live in community with one another. Now Spot is NEVER going to willingly and joyfully give the last piece of food to Fluffy out of an abundance of loving Fluffy as he loves himself!! He will do it when he is WELL TRAINED….but NOT out of self sacrifice! 🙂 Impossible without the indwelling Holy Spirit – which our animals certainly do not have!
Even Jon Katz, a writer who is also a dog behaviorist, wrote of this difference in his work “The New Work of Dogs: Tending to Life, Love and Family”. Many years ago he was writing of how, in our increasingly fragmented and disconnected society, we were asking dogs to step into a family role as human surrogates of sorts. Not great for humans OR dogs!!
Jackie – really great comments here! I actually thought of you working with amazing animals when I answered, not wanting to not give credit to the wonder that is animals, but you really hit something on the head here!
Jackie:
Your wisdom amazes me. This applies to all of the above.
That is all.
(kinda rare when I’m almost speechless, eh?)
3. Find a passage in The Song where the lovers are describing one another, and you can see them exalting in the difference between them.
“What is that coming up from the wilderness like columns of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the fragrant powders of a merchant?”
Song of Solomon 3:6 ESV
“Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead.”
Song of Solomon 4:1 ESV
4. Why do you think God ordained man and woman rather than two of the same gender for marriage? (Express this tactfully and winsomely as you might if dialoguing with someone who endorses same sex marriage.)
I think God wanted to continue His creation. To do so He needed a man and a woman. It didn’t hurt that they could also be companions either.
5. Challenge question: What are some of the ways we, unlike the animals, are like God?
We have logic and reasoning.
6. What are some of the ways that God is not like you — for which you are so thankful?
He is not impatient, He is not small minded, or unloving, or unforgiving. He is not numb from life on earth.
7. How would you answer this? Can you find an illustration in The Song of a wedding with witnesses?
hmmmmmm…..Adam and Eve were the first marriage, right? Sarah and Abraham, Rachel and Jacob; didn’t they all make a covenant with God?
8. What do you learn about how God views marriage covenants from Malachi 2
A portion of the Holy Spirit is within the marriage. The wife is a companion by covenant.
I just wanted to “pop” in here to let you know I am doing the study and reading the comments. I am also doing the Idol Lies study with a friend, taking a chapter every other week, which complements this study beautifully, each study is reinforcing each other. I usually end up finishing the homework by late Saturday or Sunday 🙂
Liz VH – it is truly encouraging to read your words here. I think you represent many who choose to follow silently – as I did myself for about a year! 🙂 It is just so wonderful to hear of how you are growing and being challenged and blessed….along with a friend! Yay!
Liz VH Glad you are still here and popped in. Wonderful you have a friend to go thru Idol Lies with!
I am finding this so painful in a way I am going to maybe have a hard time describing. As I shared previously I came into my marriage with an empty jar of balm. In his own way my husband did too yet it was a different way than mine. Both of us brought pollution into something God intended to be so beautiful. Right now I am finding that polluted view interrupting my ability to see this beauty if that makes any sense. So I Beleive what is needed here as it is always needed is prayer. Prayer that the Lord will show me how to put the polluted view that keeps rearing its ugly head aside as I am His new creation and I have a new life. How I do that with the marriage I still have and the pain so still in front of me too needs his direction and help as I cannot do this on my own. I so desperately need Him always and forever.Probably not making a lot of sense but I thought i would write this out.
Oh Liz, I’m not here love, but it just grabbed my heart to read your words here, how the enemy continues to try to steal what God wants you to find rest in. I am praying that the TRUTH of who you are in Him will replace the past images, thoughts, memories. I pray you will be completely freed and overwhelmed by His love for you and His beauty. I pray that you will sense He has given you a new “jar” that cannot go empty!–the old is past, it isn’t part of you anymore. As a new creation, a child of the Light, fully justified, redeemed, deeply loved–you can rest in His love for you.
Lizzy, Jackie, Jill Dee and Wanda Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. I really do sense Gods love for me I do believe with my marriage at the place that it is at is what I am most struggling with. Baby steps and time spent with the Lord in the Word and quiet time. I am slowly processing things. Very important to stay in His Word and keep reminding ourselves how much He loves us even with our failures and shortcomings. Those things cannot be what defines us. Who He says we are must!
Oh Liz. As happens continually here with all of us, I wish we could just “sit a spell” together. I add my hearty AMEN to Lizzy’s words to you. They are life giving indeed. I have a dear friend here in the Baltimore area who attends a group called “Living Waters” that is a part of a ministry called “Regeneration”. Unfortunately, this ministry is only currently in the DC and Baltimore area. I would really encourage you to go to their website at www.regenerationministries.org and read through what is offered there. Perhaps there might be something similar in your area? I do know that there is no “cross talk” in these group meetings…..there is a time when the group leaders come around and lay hands on participants who have shared and pray over them…..it sounds so real and lovely indeed…..and I know my friend has found a deeper walk with Jesus through the gift of this group in her life. 🙂 Or perhaps you will check this ministry out and START such a ministry? I can see this happening……. 🙂 Just knowing how this has helped my friend in her healing made me desire to share the possibilities within the body of Christ with you, dear friend!
Liz, I add my amen in prayers for you this morning. Prayers for new sight, new understanding, and new approach.
Liz, my prayers are with you too. Amen to Lizzy’s words.
Liz,
Coming in late here. How I appreciate your honest, heartfelt words here. Understandable pain. Unrelenting mercy.
I just felt an impression in my heart of how painful it must be for the Lord to see us in our polluted states when he has laid out something so beautiful. He still calls us when we are dark and calls us lovely and fair. He sees what we can become and went to the cross while we were in the condition of our sin that we were in order that we could become His pure spotless brides.
And Liz…..these words so speak to my own heart. I read your comments above and my heart went out to you, for the pain and sorrow is there. And I so agreed with the comments from Lizzy and Jackie and Jill. I was about to comment there and then I read this beautiful post. And Oh. I heard something similar yesterday from my husband. I was torn apart by something I saw that one of my adult kids had written that just re-iterated again to me, how far, far, far away this child of mine is, from the Lord. I mulled it over in my heart half a day and then finally brought it up to my husband. Sometimes, I try to protect him from stuff that pains me about our kids because he has so much already on his plate. But after pausing awhile, he reminded me of how very loving and forbearing our God is. How he doesn’t get all shocked and fearful when he sees the things we say and do. And as you said, He still calls us. Though it grieves Him, His love for us never changes. For me, it is a prayer to God to keep calling, calling, calling my children back to repentance and redemption. Your post also lets me see how much He continues to love me and call me to a closer walk…..to be close to His very self, even in my suffering and sadness. Thank you for being vulnerable in your sharing here tonight, dear one.
Yes, Liz, I agree that what God has designed is so much higher and I see how polluted my view is,and though I am cleansed by his sacrifice it does come back to memory. I must continue to forgive myself.
It is helping me to do the study and read each comment.
6. What are some of the ways that God is not like you – for which you are so thankful?
The first thing that popped into my mind on this question was Numbers 23:19 – “God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?”
This verse is jam packed with my own sin and failure – so unlike God. I DO lie….the Lord has dealt repeatedly with me on this fallback habit from many years practice. I found that I needed to go back at one point to several people I had lied to (about the most STUPID, pointless things!!) and simply confess my sin. This was good medicine indeed. But the temptation remains….even in just “shading” things a bit to make a better story or to make me look not QUITE so despicable as I really often am. Jesus’ powerful words from John 8:44 were a direct hit to my heart as well – “…When he (Satan) lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” I so desire for my “language” to be my Father’s language…..TRUTH, seasoned with GRACE.
Also in the Numbers verse I see God’s unfailing faithfulness and steadfastness…”has he not said, and will he not do it?…” My life is littered with broken promises, good intentions never seen through…and so much more. And YET…..he bids me REST on his faithfulness. I am SO GRATEFUL to Him forever for His rest!!
Laura shared an intriguing phrase in answering this question as well…..”….not numb from life on earth.” This immediately drew my heart’s attention to JESUS….how he walked upon this earth….and with all of the human misery laid at his feet….the rejection of his own family and community and the religious leaders who SHOULD have recognized him….the dullness of his chosen disciples….and so much more. And YET….the well of Living Water that flowed from Him never ran dry. He drew away to pray alone…..and He only did the Father’s will ……and He showed us LIFE itself. Hallelujah!! Thank you Jesus!
Jackie, what a great scripture from Numbers…
I am so glad that God is not like me- a sinner and straying away so easily from the path I desire to follow. His faithfulness is His outstanding characteristic. Love the hymn Great is His Faithfulness!
I also smiled at Laura’s comment, “not numb from life”.
7. How would you answer this? Can you find an illustration in The Song of a wedding with witnesses? My initial response would be to ask why they don’t like the idea of the piece of paper. I suspect (as I have met others with this point of view) it has something to do with not wanting to be told what to do…
My husband and I discussed this and he speculated that the marriage ceremony is much like a baptism, in that a public declaration of your decision is good and healthy. It is not that you “need” others to approve or know about what promise you have made but about your own heart. It is a joy to proclaim your love in front of others and have them celebrate with you. I think that it is also a level of accountability in a public commitment. Even in Moses’ time there was a “way out” but it was a process and so you had to have reason, not just “eh, I’m done with this, gonna find my sunshine elsewhere.” My husband, the good provider, also made mention of the benefit and protection in a legal certificate. In this self-centered society the signature on a legally binding document is the ultimate commitment and promise. It is being willing to suffer consequences should you break your promise.
Song of Songs 3:6-11 there is a ceremony when the banners and warriors come marching in. Verse 11 specifically says “the day of his wedding.” The term “bride” is used which indicates a wedding.
8. What do you learn about how God views marriage covenants from Malachi 2:14? That you should keep them and be faithful to them, that there is a “portion of the Spirirt” within them. (I tried to find out more about this portion of the Spirit in the marriage covenant but ran out of time…)
Love the comparison of a wedding ceremony to a baptism.
9. Challenge question: so what do we, as the bride of Christ, give our Bridegroom? And what does He give us?
Isaiah 53:4-5 Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;yet we esteemed him stricken,smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions;he was crushed for our iniquities;upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,and with his wounds we are healed.
1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
Colossians 2:13-14 And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.
We gave Christ all our iniquities and sin and ugly and He has given us beauty and righteousness. Mike Reeves said We give him the crown of thorns. He gives us the crown of the king.
4. Why do you think God ordained man and woman rather than two of the same gender for marriage? (Express this tactfully and winsomely as you might if dialoguing with someone who endorses same sex marriage.)
I think God wanted man and woman to be the most perfect complement for one another. As others have said, reproduction plays an important role. Man and woman are made for anatomical and emotional fit. In caring for a family, they have separate but equally important roles. The mother is the only one who is equipped to carry the fetus during pregnancy, and she alone is equipped with breasts to feed the young. The father who is physically stronger protects and provides for the mother and children.
5. Challenge question: What are some of the ways we, unlike the animals, are like God?
We are capable of analytical thinking and logic. We have a need for our maker and creator which I do not believe animals have. God put mankind in charge of the animals.
6. What are some of the ways that God is not like you — for which you are so thankful?
God is not selfish. He forgives and extends unconditional love to us. He is infinitely patient. He is all-knowing (not that I wouldn’t want to be, but I take comfort in the fact that God has the “overview.”) He is all-powerful (I wouldn’t manage that well if I had it. ) God has integrity and is fair. God loves all of mankind (I often struggle to love some people).
Deanna, I love your answer to #6-made me think and is going to help me today. He loves those who are hard to love, yet we struggle to love those who are hard to love-I am guilty of that! What you reminded me of this morning is that I am difficult to Love-yet He passionately pursues and loves me as I am. Humbling, and freeing too. 🙂
7. How would you answer this? Can you find an illustration in The Song of a wedding with witnesses?
This may be coming at it through the back door, but I would point out in Matthew 5:31 it says, “…Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. ” If ending a marriage needs to be done in an official way with a certificate of divorce, surely beginning the marriage would also need to be done in an official way as well. Why would it be right to just drift into the beginning of a marriage and then need a certificate to end the marriage?
In SOS 3:6-11 there is a description of the wedding, complete with sixty warriors, and there is an admonition in verse 11 for the Daughters of Jerusalem to come out and watch. Plenty of witnesses there!
Deanna, I, too, like your back door answer. I was thinking something along the same lines but couldn’t quite articulate…
Deanna – back door answers REALLY click for me – thanks for yours here! 🙂
I love that back door answer, Deanna!
5. Challenge question: What are some of the ways we, unlike the animals, are like God?
LOVE. 🙂 Also, we are creative, artistic, rational and are able with His Spirit to truly sacrificially forgive-which is part of Love. The love between friends, parents to children, between a man and woman in marriage, etc is God given-He designed us to image Him. Animals are incapable of these things.
6. What are some of the ways that God is not like you — for which you are so thankful?
OH can I count the ways! 🙂 sinful, fickle, selfish, unfaithful, impatient-(He is Holy, Faithful, long suffering, His love is steadfast, never changing!) I am thankful for I know when I fail, He Won’t and His mercies are new every morning! Which makes me desire to be faithful yet He is the One who will grow that in me.
Great list, Rebecca.
In answer to Laura’s question about men and The Song, here is one quote from Tim Keller.
Until a man learns to be the bride of Christ he cannot be a good husband to his bride.
Dee – I like the Keller quote a lot – would be interested to hear how he might unpack “learns to be the bride of Christ”???
It would be. I suspect he is talking about loving God passionately and submitting to His authority — but not sure. What do you think?
Interesting quote…I also would like to hear Keller unpack the how’s of that statement. I asked my husband about being the bride of Christ and he said “it’s weird because of what is implied in the ‘bride’ label” we didn’t get to talk about it extensively but he mentioned having to find a different term for it in order to really be comfortable with it….I intend to ask him more…
Poor guy. 🙂 I think often men are so sexual that they can’t get past it. I love it when Keller says women are sons of God and men are the bride of Christ and they need to deal with that!
i can’t claim the question, Dee….oh to be so thoughtful! It was Liz ?
Dee Interesting Keller quote. Thank you to those who asked some men in their lives this question. A lot to ponder.
10. How sure is God’s covenant with us? Support with Scripture if you can? It is everlasting and eternal. It is sure by grace alone through faith in Christ Jesus. So many verses…
Isaiah 55:3 …an everlasting covenant… I am hesitant to quote prophets because I do not fully understand the context but it seems this could be applied to us and the prophecies of Christ and it is quoted in Hebrews in this regard.
Jeremiah 32:40 I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me.
Romans chapters 4 and 5. Hebrews chapters 8-13….
Hebrews 13:20 … by the blood of the eternal covenant…
11. Challenge question: Hosea prophesied a change would one day come to God’s people in Hosea 2:19-23. Describe this and then, see if you can see this pictured in Song of Songs 6:3? There is a betrothal. There is forgiveness. There is a pledge of custody. God had declared He would not be Israel’s God nor have mercy upon them but then here He not only declares He will have mercy and will be their God but they will “know” their God. Because of HIS faithfulness, mercy, and steadfast love.
Song of Songs 6:3 “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…” Just as in Hosea there is a declaration of beloning Hosea 2:23 “…you are my people…You are my God…”
12. Last week one of you talked about the importance of how learning to trust your husband in the marriage bed was key to experiencing what God intended. In the same way, as we learn to trust God, we find deeper surrender. Are you experiencing this? Little by little every day, little by little in every way, Jesus is changing me… Yes. I do see a direct correlation in trusting Him and being able to surrender deeper. Where did I learn recently that you cannot selectively harden or protect your heart but only generally harden it. So I cannot say, God I will trust you with the good but not the painful, because I end up protecting against all of it and trusting with none of it. I must trust with pain and joy, disappointment and pleasure, long suffering and eternal hope.
I will also add: even more important to trusting your husband in the marriage bed is trusting God for what He intends there. There are wounds in my marriage and if I operate in those and try to protect myself I can find no joy. There will be more wounds in my marriage, there will be pain, to try to trust my husband to not ever hurt me is unrealistic (just as he cannot trust me to not hurt him!). But I can trust God that this is where I am and who I am with and there is beauty even there with the wounds entrusted to God to bring beauty from ashes. It is His story He is telling through my life.
The Spirit of the Lord is surely in this place…..this little fellowship…..all of those who post as well as untold numbers of silent participants.
I came back here this morning to try to post a bit on the final questions that I have been pondering these past days. I wanted first to re-read some of the posts here – and as I re-read yours here Jill, I was stopped in my tracks. I had read it very quickly yesterday and I remember thinking “nice, good thoughts….”…..but this morning? I read through it and when I came to these words: “…you cannot selectively harden or protect your heart but only generally harden it. So I cannot say, God, I will trust you with the good but not the painful, because I end up protecting against all of it and trusting with none of it.” Oh boy. These words were for ME this morning. They are extremely pertinent to a relationship and a recent (last night) interaction in that relationship. Talk about a heart melt! It was such a beautiful collision of your words, the Spirit’s conviction, my desire to immediately repent and JOY. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing this!
I’m following along behind the scenes here. The bridegroom’s “aroma of sacrifice” that Dee mentioned, captures my attention. That beautiful humility is compelling. It disarms.
9. Challenge Question: So what do we, as the bride of Christ, give our Bridegroom? And what does He give us?
I suppose I give Him my sin, my shame?
He gives me grace and forgiveness.
Well done, Laura.