THERE IS NO LIFE AS EXCITING
AS THIS LIFE WE HAVE IN CHRIST.
TO THINK THAT THE GOD WHO MADE THE UNIVERSE
IS MINDFUL OF US.
I EXPERIENCED IT AGAIN LAST WEEK.
EVEN AS IT WAS HAPPENING,
I KNEW IT WAS HIM.
HE WAS GUIDING AND ILLUMINATING PRAYER
FOR ME AND FOR YOU.
My daughter-in-law, Dianne, wanted to celebrate her husband’s “Jubilee” birthday on Oct 30th. So she rented a cabin in beautiful Brown County, Indiana and invited me and two of J. R.’s dear friends to come. As we were driving to the cabin, she stopped at this cross that a Christian family had erected where people could stop and pray, nailing their requests to the cross. We prayed for J. R. and nailed our requests there.
At the cabin, for the next two days, we shared the excitement of the Christian life, how we’d seen God move, what we were learning about His mysterious ways. J. R.’s friend, Eric, a young man of character with a heart passionate for God was such a rich addition to our days. As we sat around a wooden table in the cabin’s farmhouse kitchen, I learned that Eric and his twin sister had been adopted.
“Sounds like a story might be there.”
He smiled. “Definitely. My mother had around ten miscarriages. She was later diagnosed with a disorder called endometriosis. She was able to conceive but unable to carry the child in the womb for very long because of the disorder. Yet, she took to heart the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18 and did not stop knocking on God’s door, asking for children.”
As soon as Eric mentioned that parable I sensed Aslan on the move. This parable has perplexed me! (This summer when we were doing proverbs and parables, I considered diving into it, but when I came to the edge of it, the waters were still too dark and mysterious. Do we really have to beg God? I backed away and told the Lord I didn’t yet understand.) I knew I’d want to bring it up with Eric sometime later.
Eric continued. “After eight years of unsuccessful pregnancies she went to have surgery to remove the endometriosis. As she came out of surgery she could sense the presence of the Lord in the room with her. She felt a tangible, yet invisible hand gently touch her forehead. Then she heard the Lord’s voice, ‘You are my child. You will have no pain in labor. I am going to give you a boy and a girl. They are gifts from me.’
They went to an adoption agency to apply and specifically asked for twins: a boy and a girl. After some time they were called by the agency and had been approved to adopt a baby boy. Mother asked, ‘Don’t you have twins? A boy and a girl?’
The social worker was shocked. Weren’t they grateful? ‘Don’t you want this baby boy?’
My mother and dad said, ‘Oh yes, we do!’
With great excitement, they made preparations. Finally, they thought, they would have a baby. But in time the social worker called with the heart-breaking news that the adoption had fallen through. Mother went out on the porch in grief before God. As she sat there, she thought she heard an animal in distress moaning — but then she realized the moans were coming from deep within herself.”
I nodded. The mystery of suffering. And yet I knew, with Eric sitting right before me, that this was not the end of the story.
Indeed, his mother did not stop knocking. And, eventually, there was another call from the social worker. They had twins: a boy and a girl. The Lord’s word to his mother came to pass a full two years after she heard him speak to her. They brought their new son and daughter home from the hospital in the summer of 1982. The following is a picture of the Olsons with their grown twins.
God gave this woman of persistent prayer more than she could have imagined: twins that had hearts so tender for God, children who would grow to love Him passionately. Eric and his wife April are the parents of three small children: the first, Jonah, was born with a chromosome disorder called trisomy-18 that caused such severe disabilities that nine medical personal met with Eric and April and urged them to “just pull out the tubes and let Jonah die quickly and peacefully.”
Eric and April exchanged glances. No! This child was God’s gift to them. Today Jonah is almost four and has made tremendous progress. He is a joy and a delight, and has taught them much. He is now breathing on his own during the day and is close to walking. Do they grow weary? Absolutely! But they also have an inextinguishable joy, And they are persisting in prayer for more healing for Jonah. Eric, for now, is a stay-at-home Dad while April holds a job outside the home.
Eric is often invited to churches to portray Jesus dramatically, and we were blessed by his portrayals that weekend — one of Jesus’ farewell address in John 14-16, and one of the Sermon on the Mount. Sometimes I struggle with portrayals of Jesus — for of course, no one can catch Him. But Eric’s portrayals somehow caught the awesomeness and gentleness of Christ and moved my heart.
We walked in Brown County, we talked and pondered the things of the Lord.
I never can stop marveling how the chipping away at my control idol has improved my relationship with everyone I love. Though J. R. and I have often had different perspectives on a passage, I am finding now that there is a richness rather than an abrasiveness about that if we can just give one another grace. Indeed, there is such a sweetness in our relationship now, and we do really do learn from one another.
And I have to much to learn.
I brought from the back burner my perplexity concerning the parable of the unjust judge. “That has always mystified me.”
“Really?” asked Eric. “But why?”
“That God would even be compared to such an appalling man.”
“But He’s being contrasted, not compared! The answer is in the parable, “Will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night?” Jesus ends the parable by asking, “when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”
I nodded. “Okay. But how do we reconcile being told to persist in prayer with the warning not to be like the Pharisees who think they will be heard because of their many words?”
Immediately Eric went into a dramatization of the Pharisees with their long pious faces, speaking prayers for show. Again, a contrast to how we should be. We should persist in secret.
Then Eric said — I like to think of this parable side by side with the story of the Canaanite woman from Matthew. And he acted that out for me. It was so good that after I left I asked J. R. to film it for me and send it to me for this blog. They generously agreed!
The Canaanite Woman – Eric Olsen
This week we will study these two passages, and next week we will put them into practice.
Sunday November 8th Icebreaker
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
2. What initial insight does Eric’s portrayal give you?
Monday – Friday Bible Study
3. Read Luke 18:1-8
A. Why, according to verse 1, is Jesus telling this parable? What does this verse teach you about your prayer life?
B. What do you learn about the judge in verse 2, and why does this put the widow in a hard place?
C. Why does he finally give in, according to verse 5?
D. What do you learn about God from verses 7-8?
E. What question is asked in verse 8 and what is the implied answer?
4. In what areas is your adversary attacking you?
5. How could you apply this parable to your prayer life?
6. Read Mark 7:24-30
A. Jesus was hoping for rest and went into the region of the Gentiles. What happened there?
B. Put yourself in the mother’s place. How would you feel?
C. In verse 27 Jesus is giving her a parable. She understands. How does she respond in verse 28?
Tim Keller, in his commentary on Mark, writes:
In other words, she says, “Yes, Lord, but the puppies eat from the table too, and I’m here for mine.” Jesus has told her a parable and she gets it…”Okay, I understand. I am not from Israel, I do not worship the God the Israelites worship. Therefore, I don’t have a place at the table. I accept that.” …She is wrestling with Jesus in the most respectful way and she will not take no for an answer. …She’s not saying, “Lord, give me what I deserve on the basis of my goodness. She’s saying, “Lord, give me what I don’t deserve on the basis of your goodness — and I need it now.” …She is the first person in the gospel of Mark to hear and understand a parable of Jesus.
If you are like me, you’ve heard sermons on prayer, even read books on prayer — and yet your prayer life isn’t as hot as you’d like it to be. Next week we are going to apply what we’ve learned. Get a notebook or a spiral index card notebook. If you want to record your prayers in another way, do, but be ready by this coming Sunday.
The following video is optional, but I think you will love it and be blessed by it. It is a video of Eric and April explaining what they have made as the theme of their marriage: Jesus Makes The Difference.
Saturday:
7. What is your take-a-way this week and why?
156 comments
But I cannot edit.
Interesting, this week I am presented with a situation to prayer over (there are alway many things to pray over but this is a new something and hopefully short term). I realize that I sometimes feel like I am begging God rather ran being persostent. So what is the difference? I saw in my heart this morning as I prayed a desperation for God to “please, please” do ______. But persisting in prayer, while it may have a desperation attached to it, looks more like confidence in God’s good will but battling spiritual forces in our situation? Begging feels like there is this little girl inside me that is begging Daddy for candy…. But I do not think this is persistance in prayer? But if I change my attitude to His goodness, as the one who can ____, coupled with trust in His will, then I can pray constantly without it being begging…?
Insight?
Jill, these are good questions…“Begging feels like there is this little girl inside me that is begging Daddy for candy…but I do not think this is persistence in prayer?” I would say you are on the right track, and I had to search for this verse that I was thinking of. In the first chapter of Ephesians it says, in verse 3, that God “has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ…” and, in verse 6 it says that we have been lavished with the riches of His grace. So, what I am trying to get across here is that we do not have to beg God, our Father, because through Christ, we have, truly, everything we need. How this relates to specific prayers for specific things…I’m thinking that, as you said, we can focus on His goodness and trust Him. We can keep persisting, asking…but even if we do not see the prayers answered when or how we want them to be, we still can know that we have everything we need…positionally, we have all the riches of His blessing and grace. Now I’m wondering if I made any sense here…
Susan, yes! You did make sense. Thank you for your good thoughts and pointing out Ephesians 1.
Thank you for the verse from Ephesians! Yes we are “blessed with every spiritual blessing”. This subject of persistence in prayer is so difficult and so important. It is difficult because God’s timing is not our timing. In every way I want my answers “now.” Yet as I look back some of my prayers that were prayed for decades are being answered now and it is never too late! PTL
Jill — good. I think the big insight for me in comparing this to the Cannanite woman is the dialogue — that we persist, but we also listen.
E. What question is asked in verse 8 and what is the implied answer?
Implied answer is No? Will I be persevering until the end? Will I be faithful in prayer? In witnessing? In loving others? I know God will be faithful even if I am faithless.
4. In what areas is your adversary attacking you?
The adversary is using discouragement to attack me. As I near another birthday this month, I have sensed a propensity to look back and visit past regrets. I have started saying I wish… again. The pull to “get lost in the middle” as Paul Tripp says in his book of the same title has been pretty strong lately. I am crying to God to save me from this pit and I can sense His wonderful help. My husband-pastor’s message this past Sunday morning on Romans 7:1-10 helped me to be cognizant of my tendencies to be legalistic and beat myself up for not being the Christian I am supposed to be. He reminded us in his sermon that we are new in Christ, not bound by the law anymore. And that I can live the Christian life, not on my own but in daily dependence on Christ. And that if I mess up, I can start all over again.
Romans 7:6 But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
Bing — I will pray for you in this regard too. It is the enemy!!
Bing-no doubt..the enemy..Lord Jesus help Bing be free of this oppression of the evil one. Only by your power, your goodness alone, in Jesus name amen.
oh sweet Bing–I am praying for you this morning–praying that this burden of regret will be lifted. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Rom 8:1; We love you here, He shines through you~
You know, Bing. I had some similar thoughts about regret over not being who I should be or should have been in many situations. Yet, somehow, I found the parable of the woman who persisted in prayer, freeing. I normally would feel guilt over not praying enough, but this time, the Spirit showed me hope. That I can go back and start again. That I can go back and go back and go back and it is okay. Jesus is not like the judge who answered because he was tired of her; He is our loving brother who will always welcome us into the presence of our loving Father. Be encouraged, dear sister.
4. In what areas is your adversary attacking you?
Definitely in my marriage – lack of good communication between my husband and me; I feel as if we have drifted so far apart. Definitely he attacks in my mind with thoughts of discouragement, fear, nagging doubts about if God really loves me, or even likes me, has really forgiven me. Old hurts and rejections that still affect my thought patterns and responses today. Very often I just feel stuck.
Susan, my heart aches with yours in this. just prayed..Love you.
Thank you, Rebecca.
Susan, How I wish all of these hurts would be taken away and the wrongs made right. As I see my own hurts (different things) I am starting to see that this woman who came to Jesus, she persisted beyond whatever her adversary was throwing at her. I wonder what it was? Of course, being a parable, there maybe wasn’t anything specific that Jesus meant. But that makes it more applicable as we can all fill in the blank with our own pain inflicted by our adversary. Praying for you again today.
5. How could you apply this parable to your prayer life?
In the past, I would have said (because I have heard teaching on this and had it explained that this parable is all about the persistence of the widow) I would apply it by persisting in prayer to the point where I will make God totally so sick of me that He will answer my prayer just to get me to stop asking Him!
But, I have learned something new this week, and also Dee has said in other posts, using teaching from people like Tim Keller, that the Bible isn’t so much about us/me as it is about God. Now I have a new way to look at this parable and apply it. I would apply it by seeing first what this teaches me about God. God is not like us. He is not like the judge in this parable because He is never unjust and He doesn’t play games with people. He doesn’t feel pestered by me. This redirects my focus onto Him and that I can know how far superior He is to this judge portrayed here. God is fair and just and He cares about justice and He will give it. But in His timing, which may not seem right to me but I have to trust Him. I feel that through this parable, He is asking me if I will remain faithful, will I keep trusting Him even when it seems like nothing is happening, when life is hard.
That so good, Susan. I have been applying it as well to listening to Him about a persistent request.
Everyone — I think we have it fixed so we can edit, bold, italicize, and underline, but perhaps not use the link. But to me, this is good. I just asked David to take us back to the beginning before I asked if we could use the link. I’m so very sorry about all this trouble. Please let me know if you can edit now.
C. Why does he finally give in, according to verse 5? Because she persists. The NIV says she keeps bothering him and he doesn’t want to ‘wear out’ so he gives in. This does not sound like how our God responds to us and it isn’t. By contrast, our loving Father invites us to come; anytime, anywhere, always. He tells us to cast our cares on Him, lay our burdens down and find rest.
In yet another amazing example of God’s timing, to be looking at this passage, this week, I came home last night and found a plastic bag on my door knob. Inside, were two books of commentary on the gospels of Mark and Luke! by Michael Card. I had mentioned possibly using a video study of his in our upcoming small group to a friend and she said she had a couple books she would get to me sometime. There they were! I really like this commentary that Card says about this parable.
D. What do you learn about God from verses 7-8? He WILL give justice to those who cry out. Eventually, all wrongs will be made right. I don’t know who this woman’s adversary was and what he/she had done to her, but it was all about to be made right. HOW MUCH MORE will our Judge not fail us when we remain faithful and continue to cry to Him. I think of the verse, Jackie often quotes: ‘Will not the judge of the whole earth do right?”
Thank you for pointing out this “how much more” principle, Wanda.
It fits very well here. As I have been reading others’ responses here, I am beginning to picture myself as a young girl approaching my beloved Father with a persistent request. But rather than apologizing or grumbling as I bring the request yet again to my Father, I picture myself saying, “Thank you, Father, that I have this time to spend again with you. You know my request. I thank you that you want to hear me ask yet again. Help me to trust you to answer this request when your time is right for the answer.”
Wanda–I like what you point out in “c”. The judge gives in because he is worn out by her–“This does not sound like how our God responds to us and it isn’t. By contrast, our loving Father invites us to come; anytime, anywhere, always.” AMEN!
I am starting to feel silly about testing so much. But I will try again to make my mistake. I can tell already that I do not have the ability for bold, italics, etc. Hopefully I can at least edit.
Hurrah! I can edit!
so happy for you Deanna! OK, I’m going to try because I could do all but edit as of yesterday! Using Deanna’s word–MISTAKE…let’s see if I can fix it 🙂
is this working-?
Yippee!! YEA DAVID and TEAM!!!!!
testing
Yay! It worked!
6. Read Mark 7:24-30
A. Jesus was hoping for rest and went into the region of the Gentiles. What happened there?
He went into a house hoping he wouldn’t be discovered yet a Gentile woman, heard of him, sought him and found him. She fell at his feet begging Him to heal her daughter of her demon.
B. Put yourself in the mother’s place. How would you feel?
I would feel desperate!!
C. In verse 27 Jesus is giving her a parable. She understands. How does she respond in verse 28?
She responded out of belief in Him-who He is, and humbled herself.
excited about Keller’s commentary on this: “She’s not saying, “Lord, give me what I deserve on the basis of my goodness. She’s saying, “Lord, give me what I don’t deserve on the basis of your goodness — and I need it now.” …She is the first person in the gospel of Mark to hear and understand a parable of Jesus.”
SO THANKFUL THE IMPORTANT THINGS ARE WORKING ON THE WEBSITE NOW. THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE!!!!
And Rebecca, I loved that too. It certainly is, as Brennan Manning said, “the Ragamuffin Gospel”
6. Read Mark 7:24-30
A. Jesus was hoping for rest, and went into the region of the Gentiles. What happened there?
Jesus went into someone’s house and He didn’t want anyone to know He was there, but the secret got out. A Greek woman, as soon as she heard Jesus was there, came into the house and fell at Jesus’ feet. Her daugher was possessed by a demon and she begged Jesus to drive it out.
B. Put yourself in the mother’s place. How would you feel?
If I had heard about Jesus and all the miracles and healings He was doing, and my daughter was desperately sick, I would feel like, “He’s my only hope…I’ve just got to get to Him!” I think that’s what I would feel – HOPE…after feeling hopeless and helpless for so long.
C. In verse 27 Jesus is giving her a parable. She understands. How does she respond in verse 28?
She understands she is one of those “dogs”. She readily says, “Yes, Lord…” My paraphrase, “I am happy to be a dog eating the crumbs that fall from Your table.” She reminds me so much of the woman with the bleeding disorder who said to herself, “If I can just touch His clothes…” She didn’t feel worthy to approach Him or speak to Him, but she believed that just by touching His clothing, she would be healed. This woman believes that a few crumbs are all she needs…there is power in those crumbs! Her response is so humble.
Yes — Susan — we sure can identify as mothers. And to just humbly go!
1. What stood out to you from the above and why?
I loved hearing about your experiences in Brown County State Park. I was raised in Evansville, Indiana, and my family went multiple times to that park. It was very rustic when we went there–don’t know if it is still that way. It is amazing to me that, with all you have on your plate, Dee, you can find time to do such things. I loved that you stopped at the cross to pray, and that your group “walked and talked and pondered the things of the Lord.” I can’t say I ever did that in Brown County State Park, but I have had those experiences in other wooded, back-to-nature areas, and I know how wonderful that can feel.
2. What initial insight does Eric’s portrayal give you?
I shudder to mention anything more that doesn’t work — however, I am unable to access Eric’s portrayal. It is the same thing that happened in a prior week, where I get a screen that says I am not authorized to go to that page. I have sometimes been able to find the videos in other ways if there is a link given or if there is mention of a website, or sometimes just lucky finding it on You-tube, but I didn’t have any clues like that for Eric’s video, so I can’t comment on it.
Deanna, fun to learn that you were raised in Evansville – my husband was born there. They moved when he was about five years old. I have been there, though, as we’ve attended a couple of family reunions and a wedding of his cousin there. I’m going to have to ask him about Brown County State Park!
I also saw in your post below your prayer request about your son-in-law still needing employment. I will keep him in my prayers.
3. Read Luke 18:1-8
A. Why, according to verse 1, is Jesus telling this parable? What does this verse teach you about your prayer life?
It teaches me to have faith that God will answer my prayers.
B. What do you learn about the judge in verse 2, and why does this put the widow in a hard place?
We are told he neither feared God nor cared about men, so this meant that the widow couldn’t appeal to his conscience or his sense of compassion either one – those things didn’t exist for this judge.
C. Why does he finally give in, according to verse 5?
The widow was wearing him out – he considered her to be a big bother, and this was a way of being rid of her.
D. What do you learn about God from verses 7-8?
I learn that God does listen to our pleas, and He won’t keep putting us off. We are told in verse 8 that God will see that we get justice and quickly.
E. What question is asked in verse 8 and what is the implied answer?
The question is whether at Jesus’ second coming He will find faith on earth. I’m thinking the implied answer might be “No!” It is difficult at times for humans to believe that God hears them and will help them to obtain justice.
4. In what areas is your adversary attacking you?
By making me feel that my husband is frail and that we should just sit down in our home and fold our hands, instead of continuing in faith to get out and do the things we normally would do.
5. How could you apply this parable to your prayer life?
Some of you have been aware that my younger daughter got married near the end of August, and it was such a wonderful wedding, and we felt very blessed. However, there is a lingering problem: my son-in-law still has not found a job. My older daughter is also unemployed again, but she got busy and took all the exams to get her architectural license (7 days of exams, 4-6 hours each day) and passed them all! However, I am not so sure how hard my son-in-law is hunting now – he may be bewildered and burnt out at this point. My daughter does not earn enough to support him. I have been praying about this matter, of course, and am perplexed as to why God has not seen fit to answer my prayers yet. I need to hold firm to my faith. Also I would appreciate the support of prayers from my sisters on this blog. I probably should have put this on the FB blog, but it just came out as part of my answer.
4. In what areas is your adversary attacking you?
By making me feel that my husband is frail and that we should just sit down in our home and fold our hands, instead of continuing in faith to get out and do the things we normally would do.
5. How could you apply this parable to your prayer life?
Some of you have been aware that my younger daughter got married near the end of August, and it was such a wonderful wedding, and we felt very blessed. However, there is a lingering problem: my son-in-law still has not found a job. My older daughter is also unemployed again, but she got busy and took all the exams to get her architectural license (7 days of exams, 4-6 hours each day) and passed them all! However, I am not so sure how hard my son-in-law is hunting now – he may be bewildered and burnt out at this point. My daughter does not earn enough to support him. I have been praying about this matter, of course, and am perplexed as to why God has not seen fit to answer my prayers yet. I need to hold firm to my faith. Also I would appreciate the support of prayers from my sisters on this blog. I probably should have put this on the FB blog, but it just came out as part of my answer.
I AM SO DELIGHTED TO HAVE BOLD, ITALICS, UNDERLINE AND QUOTES BACK, AS WELL AS THE EDITING!! THANKS TO ALL WHO WORKED HARD TO ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THAT!
It’s so good to have you back, Deanna! And I will add your son in law to my prayers this evening. I’m sure that brings stress. I also smiled when I thought of you ‘sitting and folding your hands’…..from the picture I have of you, I think that would be almost impossible for you! But I totally understand where you are coming from, when you are caring for your husband’s needs which have been greater of late. Take heart. You are ministering to him and to others.
Deanna — sweet to think of you in Brown County. And I’m glad so much is working for you and so sorry the video did not work for you. It probably has to do with a missing program on your computer, but it is beyond me I’m afraid.
6. Read Mark 7:24-30
A. Jesus was hoping for rest and went into the region of the Gentiles. What happened there?
He was acosted by the woman to help her with her child.
B. Put yourself in the mother’s place. How would you feel?
I would be sad that he didn’t seem to want to help me. I might not continue to bother him though; too embarrassed.
C. In verse 27 Jesus is giving her a parable. She understands. How does she respond in verse 28?
Once again, I don’t really get the parable….he is saying the Jews come before the Gentiles. I thought He was here for all people? She came back with a very good quip, however! He couldn’t ignore her then, right? I’m just still stuck on the parable though.
4. In what areas is your adversary attacking you? I’m glad that I somehow had the discernment to resist posting yesterday, because I was a crying mess over my answer and I didn’t want to post my private pity party. So hopefully, I am choosing a more insightful way to say it. I’m constantly hit by feelings that everything I do is merely mediocre. I have many interests and passions but I rarely feel that the result of any of my pursuits is excellent. I constantly fight feelings of mediocrity in my photography, gardening, cooking, crafting, scrapbooking, writing etc. (And it would be a stretch to say my housekeeping even came up to mediocre standards!) I’m usually buried with unfinished (paralyzing) projects that dance merrily in my brain as they would look in their brilliant completion and the reality is I plod along at the pace of a snail walking through molasses in January. (to mix my metaphors!) I know this sounds petty but it’s just symptomatic of my feeling mediocre in ways that matter far more. I DO know the story isn’t finished, but when I think of the things that I felt I have done with some degree of excellence; (for the most part) : raising my children and teaching and leading children at church, I still get discouraged, because some of the results seem so far from my vision and others are not easily seen. (Here I need to take Amy Carmichael’s words to heart. The first encouragement note I sent to volunteers when I directed Children’s Ministry was one of hers that said that... “working with children is a peculiarly selfless task because we work for the years we will not see.” (Wow. I actually just thought of that quote at this very moment while I was typing.) I need to stop focusing on what Satan has had me believing about my ‘successes’ and lack of them and realize that work done for the Lord yields results that are often not seen or at least not seen in this life.
Another way that Satan has become very adversarial to me lately, is that I have been having this feeling of being ‘invisible’. It’s been manifest in several ways. Though we know beyond any doubt that our move to our new church is His leading and His gift, it has also come with pain. I’m sensing (fairly strongly) that a number of our friends from our former church have some kind of resentment toward us. At least, thinking there may be resentment feels a bit less hurtful than believing that they totally haven’t missed us at all (or even noticed that we haven’t been there for 7 months) because no one has brought it up to us. (except one person, who I know was sincere; (a very dear man) yet he had to bring it up, because he needed to return something of ours that was borrowed and had been thinking he’d see us at church, but after several weeks, realized he hadn’t). I openly told my closest friends back in June, how the Lord had led us to another church. And they were sincerely happy for me. But now it is November and the others (these are people we have fellowshipped with for 27 years, sharing much of life’s journey) have not made any effort to ask us about our absence. It’s such a weird and awkward thing. I spent probably a total of 10 hours, formulating and writing just exactly the letter I felt in my heart and sent it to our former lead pastor, to make sure that he completely understood our departure; and so assumptions wouldn’t be flying around. I really worked at being gracious and respectful. (we also have talked numerous times over the years, so I don’t think any of the things I wrote came as a surprise to him). I want to be able to meet people on the street and in the community and not feel so awkward about this. I hurt much more so for my husband, as not one person has approached him and his investment in that congregation has been enormous: he gave of himself in ways far too deeply to recount. This hurt I feel has to be conquered. I do not want any bitterness.
(Well, I guess I did get in pretty deep here. Just be glad I didn’t write it yesterday). 🙁
Wanda, you made me chuckle with your mixed metaphor of a “snail walking through molasses in January”! I hope you don’t mind if I borrow that, as it might be just the comical relief I might need for a future conversation. However, I could truly feel your pain over the awkwardness you have felt in relationships with members from your former congregation. I have not been in that situation myself, but I certainly have been on the other side of it!! We have lost a lot of members from our congregation over the years, and I can tell you that I have sadly felt the strain on friendships in the process. I had sponsored at least five women from our church to be initiated into my P.E.O. chapter, and then I was terribly dismayed when each of them eventually left our church. So I would see them at chapter meetings, and I definitely felt the awkwardness. I felt like the church must have failed or they would not have left, and since I am a member of the church that means I surely must have contributed to that failure. So, Wanda, it undoubtedly is not that you are not missed by your former church members; it may be that they may be feeling guilty. They may be fearful of having an unpleasant conversation. I am glad you found a new church home. The ones that disturb me the most are the ones who visit church after church after church and never ever put down roots again. A few have swallowed their pride and came back to us, but that happens so rarely! I am presently keeping in close touch with one family who decided not to move with our congregation when we relocated to another building. They tell me they are having trouble finding another church that observes Holy Communion every Sunday as ours does. I keep telling them that they would be soooo welcome if they returned to us.
In regard to what you were saying about children’s work: We are only responsible for sowing the seeds — we cannot guarantee the harvest. God waters the seeds we plant and provides the harvest. Yes, sometimes it can be decades before one sees the results from children’s work.
Thanks, Deanna! You have some good words here, that do make me look at it from both sides. I also know that others (many) have come and gone over the years and often I haven’t even realized it, and then when I do, it’s hard to pick up the phone, and it is sometimes someone that I don’t run into otherwise. The longer it goes, the more awkward it gets. I think in time, things will iron out. Some friendships will wane, but those that are really connected at a heart level will remain. I just feel a bit impatient, for my husbands’ sake mostly; because he has much less availability to plug in at our new church, due to his work schedule. So, he’s been in limbo for a long while. I’ve never seen him so quiet and alone as he has been the past few months. I do know things will get better, though. In fact, we are having a couple over on Saturday, who are from the new church; and we are really looking forward to it. I’ve been getting to know the wife at Bible study and our children’s program on Wednesdays. He and her husband have met (and are both teachers) but haven’t had much of a chance to visit.
Feel free to use the mixed metaphor whenever you’d like! It just popped into my head as I was writing. 🙂
Dear Wanda, Your comparison to the snail walking through molasses in
January really makes me laugh and I feel like that often!
I also feel that mediocrity is my problem, but I always desire perfection and forget only
God has achieved that goal!
My husband and i came to realize we needed to make a break with our former church after many years. I felt the need for a long while. When we did there were many varied responses; sadness, resentment, anger and most did not contact us. I understand your feelings. Yet it was a good move for us and resulted in growth, spiritually.
Your responses on this blog often inspire me and I thank you for your honesty and thoroughness.
4. In what areas is your adversary attacking you?
I see that others are posting some pretty heavy answers here. My heart goes out to you and I am praying for you.
Things here are going reasonably well, but I struggle with loneliness. I have a really good friend who I can tell anything to and pray with, but she lives thousands of miles away. Sometimes I just need a face to face friend that I can trust with some of the difficult stuff and also have fun times with. As a pastor’s wife, I often feel other women are standoffish toward me – see me in a role, rather than an equal. Then again, perhaps it is my personality. Anyway, Satan uses various devices to prey on my relationships and then attacks my heart.
Oh Diane. I think you have a very difficult role as Pastor’s wife. And I know for sure, that the stand offish-ness happens. Bless you. I do hope that you find that face to face, nearby friend.
Diane, I am with you in needing that face to face friend, someone to share the depths of my heart with but also to just have fun with. I think loneliness is one of the most painful emotions there is. Praying for you to find that kind of friend.
Diane, I feel for you as a pastor’s wife myself. I know what you mean about women being stand-offish to me. People, we are just as human as you are! I have a close friend but she is 6 hours away. I can call her anytime I want to but I so wish I have a friend nearby. I will pray for us. I know Jesus is the friend who sticks closer than a brother (sister).
Thank you Dee for sharing my story. It really blesses me. God is so good and so faithful and he always hears our prayers and he always answers them in his time. I love the song “In His Time” ( he makes all things beautiful In his time). I clung to that song and continued to cry out to God for my children in belief that he was going to bless us. After 10 long years in his waiting room, he blessed us beyond measure with two beautiful babies. The Lord’s timing was perfect in our lives even though at the time waiting was painful. But God turned our mourning into joy as only God can do. My husband and I are blessed beyond what words can express with two adult children that love Jesus and put him first in their lives. We have also been blessed with a wonderful son-in-law and daughter in law who love Jesus and put him first. God is so good and has continued to bless us with five beautiful grandchildren. Yes, God does make all things beautiful in his time! Praise his wonderful name
Candace — thank you so much for letting us tell your story and also living the life of persistent faith so you could! Eric is WONDERFUL.
Candace, Thank you for telling your story-your family encourages me!
LIZZY! I’ve been reading the blog comments in back and forth fashion this week and I just went back and opened the link you posted of the Modern Parable trailer of the Widow and the Judge. OHHHH. That looks like such an excellent dramatization. I’m assuming one can only view the short trailer? I’ll look around some more, but I went to their site and see they have several. Looks like such an amazing study series. THANK you for bringing this to our attention. You share such great resources.
And the song. I want to look that one up too. I don’t know that hymn. Since it is back on page 1, I’ll have to go back to find the exact title.
I love Eric and April!!!! I see Him all over them in the video-and marriage the way He designed it.
Rebecca — me too — wasn’t that the best?
Yes-and the whole time I was watching I was thinking of Jesus and us-the dance of the Trinity and how He has brought us in..Eric and April’s video is a beautiful picture of Jesus and us in The Song of Songs. 😉
4. In what areas is your adversary attacking you? Very good question, because so much of what is probably “attack” is disguised behind my thoughts and then I start to believe it as truth. The biggest thing I have seen this week is my lack of faith in prayers, I had not yet transferred the knowledge that God loves me and I can do nothing to increase nor decrease that love to my prayer life. I was begging, not only for the subject of my prayer, but for Him to smile upon me and give me favor….back to the misconception that when we receive good He loves us, but when not then He must not. My adversary attacks my acceptance in Christ.
5. How could you apply this parable to your prayer life? To stop begging! All this week God has refreshed my sense of acceptance in Him and so my prayers have turned from begging to conversations, asking with faith (though always with submission to His will), and confidence that He will move somehow….it’s hard to explain. To go from feeling like the dog and so asking nothing (or merely begging without faith) to realizing that yes, I may be a dog but I am forgiven and loved and God wants relationship, communication, with me, this has put confidence in my heart and change in my prayers.
My previous comment disappeared or did not go through. My thought is that I think there is a good probability that the Canaanite Woman herself (Mt 15) was indeed a widow and thus her persistence demonstrates the truth of the persistent widow parable Jesus taught (Lk 18).
Eric — so sorry I was slow to approve! We are so thankful to you for sharing your story and dramatization!
6. Read Mark 7:24-30
A. Jesus was hoping for rest and went into the region of the Gentiles. What happened there?
I guess you could say “he didn’t get by with it.” He may have wanted to have some down time with his disciples, but this Syro-Phoenician (or Canaanite) woman desperately needed his help and she tracked Jesus down. She wanted Jesus to heal her daughter who was possessed by an evil spirit. At first Jesus is ready to dismiss her as being an interruption, but she prevails in a little debate with Jesus, and Jesus finally heals her daughter.
B. Put yourself in the mother’s place. How would you feel?
There is no length that a mother will not go to get help for her ailing child. We have made mention of this several times on this blog. I think I can understand that the woman would put aside any thoughts about how she might be being rude or pushy. Her main concern was that she needed help for her daughter, and she was confident that Jesus had the capability of healing her.
C. In verse 27 Jesus is giving her a parable. She understands. How does she respond in verse 28?
Jesus says to the woman, “First let the children eat all they want, for it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.” Most commentaries agree that Jesus was saying that his first priority was to provide food for the children (teach the disciples), not to allow the pets (this woman outside the Jewish faith) to interrupt the family meal. Her response was, I would say, a witty one: “Yes, Lord, but even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.” The woman used Jesus’ choice of imagery to point out that she was willing to be considered an interruption as long as she could receive God’s healing for her daughter. It appears Jesus was impressed by her comeback (and her persistence) . Then he told her, “For such a reply, you may go; the demon has left your daughter.”
I was slow to approve comments — so sorry. Eric came, as did his mother, and my dear friend Twila!
Thank you, all for your responses to my comment about my discouragement as of late, and your prayers. I am in Chicago right now for a health science conference and have been blessed by how God has provided through networking with colleagues.
5. How could you apply this parable to your prayer life?
To come before the Lord just as I am, and to the throne of grace by the merit of the shed blood of Christ. I need to persist in prayer ,seeking His will and submitting to it knowing He does things well at His perfect time. And when I can not express myself, I can rely on the ministry of the Holy Spirit to intercede for me.
Dee, I look forward to the book- Congratulations!
My take away:1. Power of persistent prayer- It draws me close to my Savior and waiting on his timing.
2. Eric and April’s story on video:Jesus Makes the Difference. I can relate, though many differences in spouses, but the joy of Jesus makes the difference.