“IN THIS WORLD,” JESUS SAID,
“YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE.”
BUT WHEN THE SKY OPENS UP,
AND TROUBLE COMES POURING DOWN,
OUR SPIRITS CAN BECOME WOUNDED.
WHEN WE ADOPTED OUR DAUGHTER ANNIE, OUR ELEVEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER SALLY WAS EXCITED AT FIRST. SHE HAD LONGED FOR A SISTER.
But then Sally said, “I felt like all the attention shifted from me to her.”
She slipped into a deep depression. Her cheerful spirit disappeared. Her weight dropped. Her nights were sleepless as she wept into her pillow. I couldn’t understand for we were trying so hard to shower love on Sally as well as Anne, and we loved her so.
I said to Steve,
“I don’t understand why she can’t just snap out of it!”
Steve said, “Would you tell a person who has the flu to ‘just snap out of it?'”
He sat by her bed, night after night, stroking her hair, praying for God to heal her.
But I was behaving like the counselor in this skit:
Try as we might, we can’t just stop it.
We are like a person in quicksand.
The more we struggle the more we sink.
We need help from outside.
Friends, physicians, and counselors can help if they are wise.
But the real POWER from outside comes from God, from His Gospel, His LIFELINE.
God is near to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
The solution for a crushed spirit, as Tim Keller says, in this week’s free message, “is complicated,” for we are physical, emotional, and spiritual beings. Sally needed medical help in order to sleep so that her physical body could recover; she needed the emotional help of the love of her family; and she needed spiritual help to “get rid of the yuk in her heart.” We got her good medical help, we enveloped her with love, and we prayed. And God did what we could not. One night when we went as a family to a concert, the singer closed with: “If you have yuk in your heart you cannot get rid of, come to Jesus, and ask Him to deliver you, for He is the only One who can help you.” Sally practically ran forward. She says that was a turning point in her life, to see that God could deliver her from what she could not deliver herself. Sally and Annie have been so close ever since. This week we are all together at my home, including their four little girls.
I keep thinking of Psalm 133: “How good and how pleasant it is when brethren dwell together in unity.” Wounded spirits and wounded families and wounded churches need the Power of the Gospel, the Pearl of Great Price, to heal. Nothing is more important than that.
Sunday:
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
Monday – Wednesday Bible Study
Prepare your heart with this:
2. Read Proverbs 12 – 14 in one sitting, asking the Lord to quicken you, to give you a passage you need right now. Share what you find.
3. Healing a Wounded Spirit
(The following proverbs Tim Keller addresses in this week’s free sermon.)
A. Proverbs 12:25
1) What weighs a man down and what lifts him up?
2) Why do we need a word “outside of ourselves?” What good Word does the Gospel give you?
Sally and I watched (again) one of the Bridget Jones Movies — and laughed. In one scene she is reading a self-improvement book that says it doesn’t matter what others think. All that matters is what we think about ourselves. She says, “Wait — that can’t be right!” She reminded me of a beautiful new young woman named Amy in our study who said that her thoughts toward herself were hateful, for if she wasn’t doing things perfectly, she condemned herself. But the Gospel is showing her how loved, how beautiful she is.
B. Proverbs 13:12
1) What makes the heart sick? Give an example.
2) It is understandable that a dream deferred (marriage, motherhood, success, health) brings sadness, and God empathizes. But we have something more precious than any of those things. What does Colossians 3:1-2 tell us to do?
3) My favorite line in the above “Come Ye Disconsolate” is “Earth hath no sorrow heaven cannot heal.”
What deep earthly sorrow is yours that heaven will heal?
C. Proverbs 14:13
1) What is true of both laughter and and joy? Why, given our fallen world, is this true?
2) How will the Lord reverse earthly sorrow — and how has the gospel made this possible?
D. Proverbs 17:22: How does a wounded spirit affect our physical health?
E. Proverbs 28:1 How does a wounded spirit make us unreasonably fearful?
When I met Amy, she frightened me, for she seemed so severely unhappy and negative. This year she started coming to our church and also to our evangelistic women’s study. The gospel is finally becoming clear to her and I am absolutely amazed at the night and day difference in her. All the passion that was negative has flipped to being positive. She smiles with deep dimples, laughs, and encourages others. Yes, she credits good medical help, counseling, and yet she says, nothing made the difference like what she is getting from this fellowship and her understanding of the gospel. She is a ballerina and danced to a praise song for us recently with passion. It is like a light has turned on in her darkness. This is a picture from our new church plant directory!
Indeed, the gospel is the pearl of great price. In Matthew, Jesus uses the phrase “Kingdom of Heaven” for the gospel. R. C. Sproul explains:
If we were to look for one single theme that seems to be the most central and most important theme of the entire gospel of Matthew, it would be the theme of the coming of the kingdom. We see in the first instance that the term gospel refers to the gospel of the kingdom — the good news of the announcement of the breakthrough of the kingdom of God. In Matthew’s case, he uses the phrase “kingdom of heaven” rather than the terminology “kingdom of God.” He does this not because he has a different view of the meaning or content of the kingdom of God; rather, out of sensitivity to his Jewish readers, he makes common use of what is called periphrasis, a certain type of circumlocution to avoid mentioning the sacred name of God. So for Matthew, the doctrine of the kingdom of heaven is the same kingdom that the other writers speak of as the kingdom of God.
4. In the following parable, how does Jesus show us the worth of the gospel? (Matthew 14:4-5)
Thursday-Friday Sermon: The Wounded Spirit
5. Share your notes and comments
Saturday
6. What is your take-a-way and why?
267 comments
To the new posters on this study I just wanted to say that most of us only know each other through commenting on the blog. We were all new posters at one time. You can know or be known as much or as little as you’d like.
For me the comments are very helpful. I find golden nuggets of wisdom from the other women and find that I can share without fear of being attacked or condemned even if I have a different opinion or am struggling to “get” what’s being said.
Welcome! And know that I for one pray for the posters frequently as I read and I almost never comment about it.
Well said, Dawn! This has been an uplifting place, there’s so much to glean from here.. Your prayers are appreciated!
In the fear of the Lord there is a strong confidence. And His children will have a place of refuge. Proverbs 14:16
So thankful for my relationship with the Lord and the refuge He has been in my life. My strong tower my hiding place from the storms of this life. He is my solid rock. Never moving always there. Always with me and always in control even when it seems things are out of control. My confidence needs to be in Him always!
So, in light of Jill’s beautiful post above, I’m posting this song again, for those of you who are new here.
“Nothing is Wasted” by Jason Gray:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvnBhtbATag
2. Read Proverbs 12 – 14 in one sitting, asking the Lord to quicken you, to give you a passage you need right now. Share what you find.
I camped on 3 related verses:
12:17 Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence,
but a false witness utters deceit.
13:5 5The righteous hates falsehood,
but the wicked brings shame and disgrace.
14:5 A faithful witness does not lie,
but a false witness breathes out lies.
I may be over reaching here but as I thought about these verses I began to think of the wicked liar as being Satan. The study we have done on the blog lately has me taking a much closer look at my thought life. I am so familiar with the lies the enemy uses to keep me off track, that I repeat them to myself, I think they are true ideas of mine. I make lots of negative assumptions.
I find that inward curve such a natural place for my thought life to be. I am praying about taking my thoughts captive more and more, really examining them to see if they are true or based on lies.
Chris – “I find that inward curve such a natural place for my thought life to be. I am praying about taking my thoughts captive more and more, really examining them to see if they are true or based on lies.” Inward curve is a new phrase to me and I LOVE it. I think about curve balls that a pitcher throws…..aren’t they meant to be exceptionally deceptive??? I truly know next to nothing about baseball, but that’s what I’m thinking anyway!! Like you have shared, I too need to take every thought captive to Christ….something I have lazily let slide of late…… 🙁
2) Why do we need a word “outside of ourselves?”
I think the enemy wants us alone and fearful, we need community especially real honest close friends who help us to vet our thought life.
What good Word does the Gospel give you?
That It Is Finished! Our sin is atoned for, we are the Kings daughters and this world is not our home. The hope of what is to come makes the waiting bearable.
This is SO good, Chris. I have loved everyone’s answer for 2 and each one enriches the one before. True that when we’re alone, we can be more vulnerable to Satan’s lies. And sometimes the longer we stay away from fellowship the harder it is to let someone in.
3) My favorite line in the above “Come Ye Disconsolate” is “Earth hath no sorrow heaven cannot heal.”
What deep earthly sorrow is yours that heaven will heal?
This is hard, even to acknowledge, to lay open the pain of losing my son. I am grateful that he did demonstrate his faith, I am confident he was in Christ.I have had one dream of him, only one, but in it he looked amazingly well, his hair looked great…he struggled with his hair which was curly like mine. What really stayed with me was the incredible sense of well being be exuded, I cant really explain it, but it has been a balm to me. I think a lot too about the Keller sermon where he talks about having a nightmare that he had lost his family, they were murdered. He awoke to find it untrue, that the losing of them made the having of them so much sweeter and that is how our earthly wounds will make our experience of heaven that much richer.
I thought of this too:
“Son,’he said,’ ye cannot in your present state understand eternity…That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, “No future bliss can make up for it,” not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say “Let me have but this and I’ll take the consequences”: little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man’s past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man’s past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why…the Blessed will say “We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven, : and the Lost, “We were always in Hell.” And both will speak truly.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
Chris – I am relatively new here but have seen your story mentioned several times and caught enough detail that I was able to search out articles on the internet that gave me the whole story. I haven’t commented before because I had no idea how to even express my sorrow and outrage at all you’ve gone through. “I’m so deeply sorry” doesn’t begin to express it and yet there really are no other words. I am a person who is very tied to anniversaries and I totally understand what a 5 year anniversary is when you’re reliving such a horrific time. I join the other ladies here in lifting you up in the days ahead.
So thankful God gave you this dream and that he had “this sense of well being.” My favorite line too: earth has no sorrow heaven cannot heal”
Chris,
Thank you for sharing your tender words here with us. So grateful that the Lord gave you this beautiful dream. Although our circumstances are different, I know this pain of loosing a child in death. And I think that our final sigh as mamas, will only be when we can embrace them again in that better country. People use to tell me that, “time heals”. Time only distances…… the Lord alone brings a measure of healing. Heaven is such a reality and only on that other shore will we know complete healing of such deep sorrow. Even so, the Lord gives such grace and mercy for now, and comforts us in surprising ways.
When my little grandma was murdered, my mom (and all of us) were stunned. My mom is now with the Lord and one of her deepest sorrows is now deeply healed.
Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom about time and distance and healing, Nila. Your words are so true and trusted.
Chris, Your words always touch my heart and the Lord has given you such beauty and wisdom through your fiery trials and unfathomable loss.
I’m so grateful and encouraged by that dream the Lord gave you. It gives me hope today too.
Chris I am so sorry about the loss of your son.
Thank you friends for your kindness to me. I am touched Beth that you sought out the story.Nila I am so so sorry about your child and your grandma, perhaps you’ve shared about these things previously, but I have missed reading it. I hope your grandma’s assailant was brought to justice?
Chris, It is always so hard to respond via typing how posts hit me for it can make insincere a deeply felt response. Face to face is always better BUT since we aren’t I want to thank you for being transparent about Daniel for God uses it to penetrate hearts in ways unseen. I am thankful for your willingness to share with us. I am so happy God gave you this dream, and I was encouraged by the C.S. Lews quote.
B. Proverbs 13:12
1) What makes the heart sick? Give an example. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I had a very defining moment with this last summer. For years, my husband and I had struggled with the direction our church had been going. In regard to many things. While I was once on staff and we we had historically been, both extremely involved and in the inner circles of leadership, we had realized that God’s call on our hearts was not in accordance with a lot of what we were now experiencing there. However, our relationships, my husband’s mentoring of many young men, and our decades old friendships were so dear there. We just couldn’t figure out a solution to our anxiety about this. I began slowly unplugging from everything except our adult fellowship group. No one even realized the extent of my withdrawal, because I kept coming to our group on Sunday morning (even if I only came for that). My attendance at worship service became very sporadic. I came late and left early. My husband could set aside what disturbed us and continue the before and after church conversations. But I always had a pit in my stomach. We visited many other churches, just to get a new perspective and a ‘break’ from our anxiety there, but knowing all along, none of them were churches we would eventually join, for many reasons. A year ago, Spring, we had come to the point where he was as ready as I was to agree to look earnestly, for somewhere we may be able to begin attending regularly. I was so thrilled. And then, suddenly, he pulled back. He just didn’t feel he could unplug completely from the current church and the things he was involved with. So, he told me one Sat. night, in no uncertain terms that he was set to stay it out for the long term. My heart was sick. I felt that literal punch in the gut that happens when a hope is suddenly dashed. I cried and cried. And wondered, what next? He continued to attend mostly regularly. I continued to come now and then and kept attending our fellowship group. Meanwhile, I’d been scouting a church in the area from their websites and facebook postings. Started listening to their sermons and getting a feel for their heart beat. I shared with him several things. He liked it. The night before Palm Sunday, we debated where we should attend. I thought, we’ll go slip in to some large church where we are virtually unnoticed and enjoy the service. He totally surprised me by saying, ‘Let’s go to ______” (name of church we had been scouting. A small church where we would very likely be noticed) We did. And we both liked everything about it. The more we learned, the more we felt at home. When I met with the pastor to talk a couple months ago, I learned some of their recent history and learned that 3-5 years ago, the church looked very different. They were in between pastors and struggling in many ways. That is the time I first began searching (online) for churches to visit. If we had gone then, we may not have continued and may not have been eager to look again at this body. I learned that much of what has drawn us to this church are things that have been implemented in the past two years. God’s timing. I stand amazed. My longing is being fulfilled. (we are still working through the un-plugging and plugging in but we are in agreement.) It has been like a tree of life to me. Wise proverb. It fits so well.
2) It is understandable that a dream deferred (marriage, motherhood, success, health) brings sadness, and God empathizes. But we have something more precious than any of those things. What does Colossians 3:1-2 tell us to do? To set our hearts on things above. Quick story. We know a local couple who ran a pizza place for several years in our town. Joe, the owner, is very open about his faith. One could catch him reading his Bible in between customers. On his menu, he always had printed this very verse. Several summers ago, Joe’s home burned down in a fluke accident. I drove past the wreckage a few days later. There in the driveway, was a crude plywood sign that said, ‘Set your mind on things above.’ ! I am getting teary eyed writing this. It meant SO much to see those words. And it wasn’t because he was a band-wagon Christian. That verse had been his theme through all of his business ups and downs and written on his pizza menu all along. Can’t read it, without thinking of this.
Wanda – what an amazing story about Joe and the his powerful testimony!! That just gives me goosebumps.
I’ve only gotten in on the very tail end of your church search but it has been heart warming to sense your excitement – not only at finding a place where you feel at home but to hear the process that took you there. It also makes me realize that while being single has its challenges, there is a freedom that comes with that. I don’t have to wait for anyone to get on board with me. Not sure if that’s always a good thing (in fact, I’m pretty sure it’s NOT always a good thing …) but there are certain opportunities that come with it that I do enjoy.
Wanda–love this “Joe”–what a testimony for all of us, great story to hold on to!
Wow Wanda, your story from the life of Joe is dynamite. “That verse had been his theme through all of his business ups and downs and written on his pizza menu all along.” THAT made me really take stock – how every single day our heart’s choices…..through all of the ups and downs of our lives, are building our faith in the Eternal God! This beautifully ties in as well with the quote from C.S. Lewis that Chris shared from The Great Divorce. 🙂
Wanda, love your story about finally coming home to your new church!
2) Why do we need a word “outside of ourselves?” What good Word does the Gospel give you?
When I read this, I don’t think of others speaking a “good word” to me as much as speaking the truth to my soul, myself. I must remind myself daily, a billion times a day, of the truth. I am so prone to wander from it. The Gospel tells me that all things are in His hands, He is all powerful, and good, and trustworthy—I do not need to fear what will happen. He will wipe away every tear and make all things new. He will not waste the pain, He uses ashes to bring beauty.
B. Proverbs 13:12 1) What makes the heart sick? Give an example.
“hope deferred”. There have been times when I have become so focused on “one thing”—thinking that if that one thing would just work out, my soul would rest. The problem was, the subject of my hope was wrong, and when my “hope” did not come to fruition, I did feel heart sick. The only object worthy of my hope is the truth of the Gospel. “My hope is built on nothing less, Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.”
Such a good point with B, Elizabeth. That really is a life long lesson for me also. And I do think that hymn describes the truth so well.
3) My favorite line in the above “Come Ye Disconsolate” is “Earth hath no sorrow heaven cannot heal.” What deep earthly sorrow is yours that heaven will heal?
Going to be vague here, but there is a specific longing in my heart that I don’t believe will be filled on this earth. When I feel the “ache” of it, I look forward to that Day, when “He will swallow up death forever” and “wipe away tears from all faces” (Isaiah 25:8)
love your example from question b. Lizzy.
I liked the video. I am thankful we have God as our lifeline, life with out Him would be hopeless and nearly impossible.
a. An anxious heart. A kind word.The gospel gives me peace that the big battle has been won. I can experience His kingdom here and now. Nothing can separate me from His love.
B. A deferred heart. Set our minds on things above. Fear of making a mistakes. Controlling everything so no one gets hurt.ocd.
c. Hearts ache because there are bad things happening and we are all told there will be trouble. With Jesus no more trouble or pain.
d. Cheerful
e.it makes us run or avoid things.
1) What is true of both laughter and and joy? Why, given our fallen world, is this true?
I think even when we laugh and feel joy, there is, deep beneath the silence that follows, an unfulfilled longing.Sometimes it’s the thought that we know we’ll never have that moment again, or there is some imperfection in it. Like when I watch my son with his natural ability for golf and love for fishing, it hits me how much my Dad would have enjoyed him, and quick tears come, a sadness that he never met him on this side. I think we (at least I) usually quiet that voice–it almost feels wrong to have it, but I don’t think it is. Kind of reminds me how a rose must have thorns. Until we are Home, there will always be a reminder that we aren’t there just yet. But I don’t think this has to be depressing—I just think we have to remind ourselves the promised Day does await, and all the sad will be made untrue.
Lizzy, you are thinking my thoughts…“I think even when we laugh and feel joy, there is, deep beneath the silence that follows, an unfulfilled longing. Sometimes it’s the thought that we know we’ll never have that moment again, or there is some imperfection in it.” I often feel the “weight of the imperfection”, or the bittersweet emotions of knowing this will not last, there will be future loss and separation. I felt this at my son’s graduation from Navy school last weekend. So proud of him, the ceremony and all the young men and women in their uniforms, yet I was tearful. More tears after we all came home as I thought of his future service in the Navy taking him far, far away from home.
Oh you so hit the nail on the head here, Lizzy. My youngest daughter was a baby when dad died. His very favorite sport was high school basketball (as is mine) and a more loyal fan could not be found. She played basketball all through school and even had the privilege of being on the first team in our high school history to make it to the State tourney. She even scored at state! To think that my dad missed her entire basketball career saddens me. As well as so many, many other landmarks with all of our kids, along the way.
But, I so love that reminder that roses have thorns and there will always be reminders that we aren’t home yet. SO good.
I thought this from David Powlison was really good, in answering the question: “Is there ever a point at which it’s been “too long” to still be deeply affected by past loss?”, he said:
“You can “take too long” in being bitter at God, in finding someone to blame, in self-pity, in escapism, in living with paranoia at anything that threatens further loss. Our instinctive, fallen reactions can go on too long. But we are to be deeply affected by past loss. In one sense, the Bible expects that aspects of pain and significant losses will mark us for a lifetime. That is why God’s promise that he will eventually wipe away all tears, sorrow, death, and misery is so wonderful (Rev. 21:4). Our heartaches become part of the backdrop that makes the joy of this promise truly joyous. In The Lord of the Rings, Samwise Gamgee asks, “Is everything sad going to become untrue?” And everything sad will come untrue for God’s beloved children. But there is realism along the way.”
Wonderful from Powlison.
Oh Lizzy – THANKS for sharing this quote! Perfectly said. As I grow older I do feel like a sponge as the sorrows of life accumulate and grow heavier upon my heart. At the same time……my HOPE, though sometimes quiet, grows ever more rock solid. “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” !!!!!
Yes, Jackie ~ my HOPE, though sometimes quiet, grows ever more rock solid.
Wow, Lizzy…thank you for sharing this. This is a timely quote for me.
Lizzy, love this from Powlison. So TRUE and balanced! Our current sorrows-pain that mark us for a lifetime- clearly do make the joy of His promise that he will wipe it all away in the future even more joyous!
This really ministered to me today, I have been in a low place, my hormones are doing crazy things on top of everything else. My thought life is hard to keep tethered to the gospel right now. I shared this on Facebook Lizzy, thank you.
Love the Powlinson quote as well, Lizzy. And the LOTR quote by Sam Gamgee is one that I used just yesterday pondering this Keller quote with a friend,
3) My favorite line in the above “Come Ye Disconsolate” is “Earth hath no sorrow heaven cannot heal.”
What deep earthly sorrow is yours that heaven will heal?
I want to love myself for once; all of me, both the physical and mental me…for just who I am; who God made.
Oh I want that for you now, Laura — for you are lovely!
Oh Laura…I pray that for you, too. From seeing your tiny picture here and only being able to imagine what you were like, to actually meeting you face-to-face and being completely surprised and amazed at the multi-faceted, beautiful, intelligent woman and elegant dancer that you are…I do love you, sister!
Oh yes Laura-I struggle with this too..but you ARE lovely for He says so…”My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.” Song of Songs 2:14 -I memorized this for I need to reminded of it every day. He says this even though he knows the ugliest darkest places in my heart-the places I have no clue about yet! That blows me away!
Laura, I echo my sisters’ comments…you are lovely inside and out. Dear sister, be gentle with yourself; you have had many, MANY stressful issues that have overflowed your “plate” in the recent past; please don’t be so hard on yourself. Your trust and allegiance is well placed in the Lord…blessings and love to you, Laura…safe travels to Florida.
One of my favorites here for you and all of us Laura:
Ephesians 3:
14For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Thank you everyone! I will keep your thoughts with me.
3) My favorite line in the above “Come Ye Disconsolate” is “Earth hath no sorrow heaven cannot heal.” What deep earthly sorrow is yours that heaven will heal?
All of the hurt and pain that I have inflicted on others that I can’t take back and I know that they bear the scars.
Oh Dawn, I pray for that healing now. But I do understand, for I have the same thoughts.
Amen to that Dawn.
Yes Dawn.
I love that your concern here was other rather than self-focused Dawn.
E. Proverbs 28:1 How does a wounded spirit make us unreasonably fearful?
This speaks of the wicked. Does wounded equal wicked?
Good question, Dawn. I think it can if we aren’t healed — Lizzy’s quote from Powlison above gives insight.
3. Healing a Wounded Spirit
A. Proverbs 12:25
1) What weighs a man down and what lifts him up? – Anxiety in your heart weighs you down, but a kind word can cheer you up.
2) Why do we need a word “outside of ourselves?” What good Word does the Gospel give you? – When I feel anxious, I feel alone. It’s hard to just tell yourself to “snap out of it”, and saying to yourself “cheer up” sounds hollow. I can’t do it. It helps if I have someone who loves me and cares about me to listen, really listen. Many times there is no solution, but just being able to be heard and listened to and to know someone cares is helpful and comforting. But there are times when I just can’t share it with anyone, or I don’t have anyone to share it with. Then I can speak the truth to my soul, using God’s Word – I still need that Word that is outside of myself. Jesus gave His life for me, and promises to never leave me and to always be there for me.
3.B. Proverbs 13:12
1. What makes the heart sick? Give an example. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. My example is my great hope for a home, a community. We have moved so much That there is always a sense of “getting ready to leave.” It takes people so long to be comfortable with one another that by the time this happens and people are getting to know me, we leave. I hope for a home someday. A place to be, to have memories in that place that I can visit any afternoon, to have people who remember me, who know me or at least remember my name. To actually finish hanging pictures on the walls and leave them there. To have a real (heavy) piano, not a lightweight electronic keyboard that’s easy to move. To be close to my mom again.
2. It is understandable that a dream deferred brings sadness, and God empathizes. But we have something more precious than any of those things. What does Colossians 3:1-2 tell us to do? To set mY mind on the things above, to the things that are where Christ is.
3. My favorite line in the above “Come Ye Disconsolate” is “Earth hath no sorrow heaven cannot heal.” What deep earthly sorrow is your that heaven will heal? I have experienced rejection in many forms from many people in my life. My heart has been broken. This along with the constant moving can drive me to severe loneliness. BUT He has been teaching me, especially this last move, that He allows these things to be ripped from me so that I can find identity in Him, and Him alone. I was impressed with Wesley Hill’s observation that the very thing he would be tempted to do in dealing with his temptation (reject love) is the very thing God has called him to do (embrace love). So my tendency to hide and protect myself from people (because even if they don’t hurt me, I will have to leave which will be painful) I can see that I am being called to embrace people instead, regardless of the outcome, not for me and my hope for friends, but for Him and His kingdom. To love others as He has loved me!
But heaven! Heaven will be true fellowship with Him (and with others?)! I have been accepted by Him fully (praise!) and heaven is my true home, it is where I truly belong.
Jill – I relate to everything you wrote. We moved so much when I was growing up (every 3-5 years) that I never knew what it was to put down roots until I reached adulthood and settled in a community (in my mid 30’s). When I passed the 5 year mark here, it felt SOOO good because I’d never lived in any one place that long before. But there was also fear/anxiety with that because I was used to getting a ‘fresh start’ every few years. We women have a particular need to ‘nest’ I think. Buying a home was such a blessing for me. I hope you can experience that too, one day.
C. Proverbs 14:13
1) What is true of both laughter and and joy? Why, given our fallen world, is this true?
Aching and grief is true of both laughter and joy. This is true because we are focused on things in life bringing us happiness and these things go away. Knowing Jesus gives us permanent, lasting joy. I watched my mom pass last year and the family was left with her household items. She did have a lot that was accumulated all these years. None of it “went with her.” I will say having some of it in my house gives me some comfort; to think she is here with me in some way. My mom was a very Christian woman and loved Jesus. She was a perfect example to me as to how to live my life in spite of all the stuff she had (!). She was always studying her Bible, teaching Sunday school to adults, and trying her best to be the best person she could although her circumstances weren’t great. Missing her this week because I finally bit the bullet and ordered a headstone for my parents. I guess she could never afford one for my dads’ grave (40 years deceased next jan). The VA put a small marker but I think it was carried away by vandals or something. I can’t afford it either, but they deserve something to mark their graves, right? Did you know you can build your own headstone on a website??? Very cool. I am traveling to north Florida to help my brother lay it at their graves in a couple of weeks. I will post it on the FB page if anyone is interested.
2) How will the Lord reverse earthly sorrow — and how has the gospel made this possible?
When He comes He will take all the pain away. He died for our sins; the sins we hadn’t committed yet. Our laughter will be for real…..genuine happiness! No more aching, no more anxiety, no more stress, no more tears (unless tears of joy!).
3 D. Proverbs 17:22: How does a wounded spirit affect our physical health?
A crushed spirit dries up bones. A crushed spirit can lead to depression or anxiety which can hurt us physically. :/ I found this article on how Depression affects us physically-wow! I knew it did but didn’t really think about it in depth until now: http://www.webmd.com/depression/how-depression-affects-your-body
E. Proverbs 28:1 How does a wounded spirit make us unreasonably fearful?
The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion. I see this as anxiety which stems from a wounded spirit. Any place or anyone you encounter that remotely triggers anything that has to do with what caused the wounds causes one to shrink back away from it. If one doesn’t get counseling and begin to apply the Gospel to those wounds, it gets worse and can paralyze you. However if one gets help and begins applying the Gospel to her life daily instead of shrinking in fear she steps out in bold confidence with Him taking her hand and leading her out of it..She grows more confident of His covering over her, His supremacy, His healing now and in the future . The Gospel starts sinking down to her heart and He strengthens her.
What deep earthly sorrow is yours that heaven will heal? It will come as no surprise that I say that my deepest earthly sorrow is that not all of my children embrace the gospel. Will this be healed in heaven? I know heaven will be perfect. For me. And I have to cling to His Sovereignty, for at this moment, I have no assurance that we will all be there. And if it wasn’t my children I cried for, it would surely be someone else I love. So, this is a very hard question. I know there are other deep sorrows that will be completely healed. I just long for assurance that this one will. Always hard for me to so look forward to heaven and yet have this hesitancy too.
Wanda,
Your honest words resonate.
My heart aches for you – as well as other friends experiencing the same sorrow. I pray that God will hear the cries of your mother-heart and draw your children back to Himself.
Thank you, Beth. Prayer really is what gives me hope.
Oh Wanda, legions of women (and men) have been or are in our shoes…..and in many cases (mine too) beloved spouses resist the gospel for a lifetime….and on and on it goes. But Jesus hasn’t drawn us into the fold desiring to torture us. He promises us abundant life …..and I think that is here and now. Well, beginning here and now…..a life of meaning and depth and joy…..but yes, tears too. And sometimes sorrow beyond what we think we can bear. Makes me think of the proverb we were discussing this week about how even in laughter the heart may ache …..and the end of joy may be grief….and we know in our bones how true it is. I know you and I share a love of Isaiah 53…..and I think of verse 5 here…..”….a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;”. I do think that in our sorrow for our unbelieving loved ones, we are in rhythm with our Savior’s heartbeat.
Jackie, you put it so well: I do think that in our sorrow for our unbelieving loved ones, we are in rhythm with our Savior’s heartbeat.
Thank you.
apples of gold
LOVE this, Jackie.
Yes, Jackie. Thank you. I cling to Isaiah 53:5 often. And knowing others walk with us helps a lot too.
Wanda, I’ve heard people say how sad they’ll be if a loved one isn’t in heaven, but the word assures us that there is perfect peace and that all of our sorrows will be gone so there must be SOMETHING that happens to make it all right, perfect and wholly acceptable.
dawn–love your thoughts here. My (6 yr old at the time) one day was peppering me with questions about Heaven–will there be swimming pools, ice cream, etc…I finally said ‘anything you want’ will be there be cause I know we will not have a sadness or longing for anything in Heaven–we will be satisfied!
great answer
I like this, Dawn. SOMETHING happens to make it all right, perfect and wholly acceptable.
Wanda–I have prayed for your kids (and will continue to). This line here “Always hard for me to so look forward to heaven and yet have this hesitancy too” hit home for me your heart ache. No answers, but I’m sorry and will pray. And I agree with the others Jackie–this is pure gold from Him ” in our sorrow for our unbelieving loved ones, we are in rhythm with our Savior’s heartbeat.”
So true, Lizzy. Wonderful answer. The teaching about heaven now, is so much ‘better’ than it was when I was young. I think I only envisioned streets of gold and white robes and nothing that seemed very interesting to me, really. I am glad that the tide has turned. And from what I understand, has gone back to what was taught about heaven, long before my time. Sometimes, I wonder how doctrine gets so off course.
5. Share your notes and comments Busy wknd and gone all day Friday, so just a few comments about the sermon now. It was excellent as usual. I know that when you listen to Keller a lot, you hear him use the same illustrations many times and in many contexts. Which is good, because it always brings you back to the gospel. That Jesus was abandoned by His Father on the cross, that we might be forever with Him. He died so that we would live eternally. And that if our hope is in anything other than Him, we will always come up short and our longings will not be fulfilled. I did think, though, that this time, it was a little hard for me to clearly see the neat package of the three trees. I do know the tree of life in Genesis was where mankind sinned and that the tree of life in Revelation is where we live eternally. The Tree of Life in Proverbs isn’t as clear to me, because I only know of this one passage. And of course, it ties in perfectly with the times that Jesus’ cross is referred to as a tree in the NT. Everything that Keller said is truth; the gospel. The cross being the bridge between our sin and our Father in Heaven. Maybe I need to listen more closely, but this time, it seemed like the tree of life in Proverbs (which is the antithesis of a crushed spirit) illustrating the missing middle piece was a little bit more of a stretch. I’m not explaining this very well, but i guess I’m trying to say that, although of course I agree with Keller’s conclusions and his theology, I’m not sure that I was convinced that everything he said about the proverb referencing the tree of life is as clear as he summed it up. The familiar quotes from Lewis, also tie it together well.
I did really like how he explained the different aspects of our inner being and that addressing only one of them will always be simplistic, because we are so very complex. And we are created in God’s image so that his image is stamped on every nuance of our inner being.
Wanda – did you really just disagree (perhaps??) with Tim Keller? I’m turning somersaults here this morning!! Internal somersaults that is……seriously though. I love Tim Keller too, but you are being such a Berean (Acts 17:10) in “examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.” In that, you have refreshed my soul here this morning….and I think Tim Keller would agree!!
I haven’t listened to this week’s teaching from Keller yet, but your post has really whetted my appetite to do so now. 🙂 Have a blessed, bustling weekend sister.
I’m not sure if I disagree. I just didn’t see things as clearly as his neat summary suggested. I think what takes me aback is that so much is based on a proverb, which we’ve been emphasizing here, is a maxim; not a promise. But, I am surely open to hearing what others think.
I agree — we must be Bereans. Though I absolutely loved the poem from Hebert on how Christ climbed the tree of life for all but Himself…
C. Proverbs 14:13
1. What is true of both laughter and joy? Why, given our fallen world, is this true? Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief. Because we can only have tastes of heaven on this earth. Things are broken here, but in heaven it will all become unbroken. I don’t think we can really, truly grasp what that fully means. And I think that in this world we will always have ache and grief for the hard things that happen around us: people lost, people hurt, people struggling. Even to gaze on creation scarred by “innovation” and “progress” brings an ache to my heart. Went up to Shenandoah Valley to the Skyline Drive and to look out on the hills (aka mountains, but I am used to the Rockies, so hills it is) was magnificent! but it was hazy in the distance, obscuring, marring some of the view. This is the ache in our joy here on earth. Oh the joy of the gospel – magnificent – but oh, for the haze to be gone! How can we rejoice in our salvation and yet, not have a sadness for those that do not know, how can give thanks for a full plate and yet not have an ache that many go hungry, how can I drive 20 miles to church and not have a sadness that so many walk that distance just for a drink of water.
2. How will the Lord reverse earthly sorrow – and how has the gospel made this possible? He will not waste our tears. He loves us and so we can trust Him for our hardships and others’. Though I cannot fathom how He will heal or use some of the horrific acts of evil in this world, I know He loves those that suffer. The Gospel demonstrates this love. The Gospel created a bridge for Him to bring us back into relationship with Him and dwell with Him without sin for eternity.
I thought that the Lewis quote Chris shared was a great answer to this question:
Son,’he said,’ ye cannot in your present state understand eternity…That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, “No future bliss can make up for it,” not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say “Let me have but this and I’ll take the consequences”: little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man’s past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man’s past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why…the Blessed will say “We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven, : and the Lost, “We were always in Hell.” And both will speak truly.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
D. Proverbs 17:22: How does a wounded spirit affect our physical health? A joyful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Yes, a crushed spirit is draining, effecting appetite and energy. It can also affect mental processes, unable to string two thoughts together or remember anything.
E. Proverbs 28:1: How does a wounded spirit make us unreasonably fearful? Because we have already been wounded and we fear a second wound, we are more vulnerable. And with wounded spirits we are sometimes at our “max” and one more thing would literally break us and so we become fearful of that “one more thing” … I think a crushed spirit can also make us a pessimist. “Well…of course this is going to go wrong because everything else haS gone wrong…” Which increases our burden and fear.
Jill,
So much of what you said here resonates with me.
We truly need Him to rescue us from ourselves here again today.
…my C. 1. and 2. seem to have disappeared…Powlison and Lewis pretty much adressed it beautifully anyway…
Somehow my notes got WAY too many pages, so this is really condensed version! Great sermon.
Tim Keller “THE WOUNDED SPIRIT”
Wisdom is to understand the priority, complexity, solitude, and the healing of the inner life.
1. The priority of the inner life
A crushed spirit is to look at life and have no desire for it, little or no joy in it, no passion. Maintaining our inner being is crucial. We are obsessed with the idea that our happiness depends on our circumstances—whether we are healthy, look good, have money, esteem, etc. Scripture tells us happiness is determined by how you deal with our circumstances—how we process them. Paul doesn’t pray against suffering—he prays . What does he pray for? He prays they will be strengthened by the circumstances, not removed from them.
2. The complexity of the inner life
How do we keep our inner being from deteriorating, from being crushed in spirit?
A. Crushed spirit can have a physical aspect–emotional unhealthiness leads to physical unhealthiness.
B. Crushed spirit may have an emotional aspect—anxiety
Sometimes we don’t need medicine or therapy, but what we most need is a word from the outside—support.
C. Crushed spirit-moral aspect. When I know I am choosing sin—there is guilt, shame, a sense of failure, not measuring up.
D. Crushed spirit -existential aspect-an angst that comes down deep from under; all joy ends in grief. We need a way to deal philosophically with death.
So there is an emotional, relational, moral, existential, and philosophical component to a crushed spirit. Christians tend to turn everything into a moral issue. If someone is down, we ask if there is un-confessed sin, or if they are being prayerful.
We turn it into a checklist of doing the “right “ things.
Some place value on having high self-esteem, they say it’s all emotional and relational; some think it’s all physical, all about a healthy body.
E. A crushed spirit may have a faith aspect. Prov. 15:13. “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” In Scripture, the heart is what you most fundamentally trust, love and are placing your hope in. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” because if anything threatens what we have fundamentally placed our hope in, we are crushed in spirit.
3. The solitude of the inner life
Only God can completely understand me. Without knowing Him, I will forever be alone in this world.
4. The healing of a crushed spirit in the inner life
We can’t heal ourselves—we must have someone from outside ourselves to love us.
The secret is the Tree of Life. In Genesis, the Tree of Life-in the middle of the garden of Eden,represents eternal life and the complete satiation of deepest desires—and we lost it. All the things we place our hope in one earth will never satisfy because we were created for the Tree of Life and we do not have it—it is what we’re really craving.
Lewis: “… our lifelong nostalgia, our longing to be reunited with something in the universe from which we now feel cut off, to be on the inside of some door which we have always seen from the outside, is no mere neurotic fancy, but the truest index of our real situation.”
In the garden of Eden, God tells Adam and Eve in order to live, obey Him and do not eat of the tree. They disobeyed God. Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane is told by God to obey regarding the tree, be crushed in Spirit, body, and He does. He dies on the Tree. Jesus lost His ultimate hope, His Father, for us. The cross was His tree of death, that became our tree of life.
So appreciate Elizabeth’s notes on Keller’s sermon! Thank you Lizzy. 🙂
When I listened what struck me was how God completely knows and understands me yet Loves me to the moon. That still puts me in awe-I don’t understand it and want to say, but my heart is dark churning waters and your Grace abounds-you long to hear my voice for it is sweet and my face lovely?? He amazes me-but I will take that! 🙂 I can easily be like Amy above and having someone in your life who aids in crushing your spirit makes it harder to not focus on my inadequacies or failures. So I need to be meditating in the Word and mindful of the arrows of the evil one. I. like Jackie said, can forget when that person in my life makes me feel less than.
Mindful of the arrows of the evil one. In Ezra right now and see the spiritual battle the believers constantly faced…His hand is on you, Rebecca, so there will be arrows.
3B. Proverbs 13:12
1) What makes the heart sick? Give an example. – The Message translation, “Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick…” When I feel that someone is disappointed with me, that I have not met their expectations, I feel sick inside. When I have tried to share the good news with a family member, and at times they seem receptive and I get my hopes up, but then I realize that they just don’t understand, that God hasn’t opened their eyes and ears to understand, I feel so let down and hopeless. My dad said that he accepted Jesus about 6 years ago now, and he was reading his Bible and talking about the Lord. He went with me a few times to church and prayer nights. But now he has stopped reading the Bible a couple years ago. I asked him once why he didn’t read it anymore, and he said something like he’s just waiting to die and he just doesn’t care anymore. He has so much time on his hands…he spends most of it watching television. I don’t know what to make of it, really. I worry that perhaps he wasn’t really saved. My mom at times shows interest…last week I invited her to my summer Bible study class…just told her I would like her to go with me, it’s a small group, women are friendly…she hedged. She told me that she went to Bible study when she was very young, at a Presbyterian church. She quoted John 3:16, which she had memorized. She can list many of the books of the Bible. But there is really no interest. It makes my heart sick.
Susan – you have shared so eloquently what we may experience when so many of those closest to us do not have a relationship with Jesus. It is true that are identity actually changes when we are in Christ. As the familiar Galatians 2:20 reminds us….”I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me…..”. And 1 Corinthians 1:18 tells us: “For the word of the cross is folly those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” When we know the love of Christ and the power of God…..and those we love so dearly find that to be FOLLY….well, there is a gulf between us that is oh so real. The word “lonely” hardly does justice to what we experience! I live this experience too Susan. 🙂 It is a daily dance with taking up my cross….and somehow, somehow letting Jesus carry the weight of that cross. I think, by the way, that of all of your family stories shared, your dad’s story is so hard to bear and understand. Doubly sad for you, I would think. It does sound to me as though he is deeply depressed – as many are as they get older and the things of this life get stripped away bit by bit…..as we’ve been studying all week now – it is SO complicated at times to see the forest for the trees.
Oh Father…..we don’t know how to pray sometimes. I lift up dear Susan to you in this moment. Loneliness has been her companion for so long. Hopes have been raised and dashed. She deeply grieves the place her many family members find themselves in relationship to you . I’m praying for a measure of deep companionship with You and your people to be growing and enriching her life. I pray that those in her life that know You would be the life of Christ to her in her loneliness. Help Susan to even sometimes reach out beyond her comfort zone to those in her life that need her wisdom, her spiritual companionship, discipleship even……..You’ve promised us abundant life, dear Jesus. May Susan experience that in a growing way from now until the end of her days. How blessed I have been to “know” her here in this study. Amen.
I saw this early this morning but couldn’t reply at the moment. I love that you are contemplative and that has always drawn me to your posts. Your heart felt words penetrate. It is so good (for us! and I think, for you too) that you can be your contemplative self here and be assured that others love you and feel your heartbeat. I know it is discouraging to see your dad back away from reading the Word and church attendance. When we love the Word so much, it is hard to fathom why others are so indifferent to it. On the other hand, I felt a surge of hopefulness when you told me that your mom seems interested now. I know you’ve been reading to her and I believe that God is touching her heart. I also believe that He has not forsaken your dad and feel hopeful for him too. He may be processing more than what is seen. I will pray for your parents now. And I do remember your sons when I pray for the children of all the women here with concerns for their kids’ walk with the Lord. Praying peace and refreshment for you, dear Susan.
2) It is understandable that a dream deferred (marriage, motherhood, success, health) brings sadness, and God empathizes. But we have something more precious than any of those things. What does Colossians 3:1-2 tell us to do?
It tells us to set our minds on things above, where Jesus is (at the right hand of God). The Message says not to be absorbed with the things right in front of you. I guess this is telling me to set my hope on what is to come, and also to not be consumed with getting all of my dreams fulfilled but to be concerned about the things that God is concerned about…caring for others. It’s not in the Bible, but it is said that one of the best ways to get yourself out of feeling sorry for yourself is to do something kind for someone else.
3) My favorite line in the above “Come Ye Disconsolate” is “Earth hath no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.” What deep earthly sorrow is yours that heaven will heal?
For some unknown reason, I always seem to have this sense of being lonely. Even when I’m surrounded by people. I wonder if it is because while I can share love, laughter, fun times and even sad times with my family, the sharing of the spiritual is what is lacking? My husband-not a believer. My two sons-prayed when they were children, but not interested in the Lord now, though one son identifies himself as a particular denomination. I’m more of a contemplative person and I don’t have anyone to be “contemplative” with. My parents – for a time it was great; my dad and I seemed to be on the same page spiritually. I hope that in heaven, the loneliness will go away.
Susan — I understand how the things you shared would make your heart sick. And I am spending some time in prayer for your parents, your sons, your husband. I am so glad you are in that small group and hope something will come of that for friendship. So glad you are here.
D. Proverbs 17:22: How does a wounded spirit affect our physical health?
It crushes us.
E. Proverbs 28:1 How does a wounded spirit make us unreasonably fearful?
this one doesn’t make sense to me. The verse doesn’t say anything about being wounded.
Thank you Jackie, Wanda, Dee – you are so dear to pray for me and my family! And Dee, I am so drawn to one of my co-workers…she is a believer and we seem to “click”. I am hoping a friendship perhaps will develop…she’s a busy mom of 3 girls…I love it when we’re both working the same day; we have to be careful not to gab too much! Anyway, she seems to be the kind of friend I’ve been looking for. One hopeful thing with my dad; about a year ago we watched a Billy Graham special on television together. Afterwards, I asked him what he thought. He said that when Billy was talking, he “felt it in here” and he pointed to his heart…he said he knew his words were true.
oh Susan, I didn’t get a chance to chime in earlier, but I have been SO thankful for the new Bible study at work and the friend He has brought you–you are such a GIFT. You know how I would so love you to be right next door to me, and there are so many who would feel that way about you! I just imagine you are an answered prayer for your new friend too. And I do love the story of your Dad, it has always humbled & challenged me how you have ministered to your parents, modeling His love to them–I know seeds are being laid, and trust He is using you to draw them both to His arms, prayers~