OLDER BROTHER-ISHNESS (MELTING HEARTS, MOVING TOWARD EASTER)

I have just listened to the sermon by Keller – powerful, insightful. I love that as he points out the 3 ‘signs’ of elder brother lostness we are not to judge those we think possess these characteristics instead we are to look in the mirror.

I have not been posting my bible study answers online; I’ve been writing them in my journal…no “gold” nuggets significant enough to share I suppose. I wanted to give you a few updates:

My daughter was diagnosed with gestational diabetes…she is 34 weeks into her pregnancy today. Preparations for the baby’s arrival are under way…April 3 is the due date…coming quick!

Jay is being prepared for a bone marrow transplant using umbilical cord fluid. Tests are taking place to make sure that leukemia is not present in Jay’s bone marrow or spinal fluid; as soon as this is confirmed (hope and pray), the transplant will be underway. If there are leukemia cells present, this will present a huge obstacle; they will not be able to do any transplant procedure until Jay is in remission. Bridget and Travis opted to remain at Milwaukee’s Children’s Hospital for the procedure; there is familiarity with the medical staff which gives them comfort. When they were considering having the procedure done in MN, some of the Milwaukee doctors told them that they would continue to pray for Jay…how cool is that??

I didn’t capitalize the updates as prayer requests; if you’d be willing to continue offering prayers, I would be most grateful.

11. What is your take-a-way and why?

That the Gospel is the solution to every problem-this is what stuck with me.

I am asking God when issues arise, how can the Gospel be a solution to this?

I can’t wait until Dee takes us deeper into this. I can’t wait for the controversial post next week. I know God will take me to another level of melting my heart and setting me free in areas I was once bound.

8. Are you beginning to find God beautiful? What thoughts do you have on the above?

The mornings that I have spent contemplating Jesus through reading the book The Incomparable Christ have led me to praise Him and to admire Him in so many ways. One of the chapters examined His perfection in His character, and in summary, it concludes with “He is altogether lovely”. It helps me to have specific qualities about Him to reflect on and to praise. Scripture gives us a painting, in a way, of His character and qualities that come together in our minds, letting us “gaze” at Him and see His beauty.

I think the connection with prayers of petition and attempting to control the environment is interesting. I have to think about this some more!

Listening to older brother and he does all the right things but it is a grind there is no joy in it!!! Sometimes that is how I get when serving the Lord. It is a constant refocusing on Him and what He has done and how He loves me despite myself. That is why I have joy and I get to serve Him not have to serve Him. A shift of focus. This all pricked my heart.

Obey to just get God. Gospel Believing. Contemplate His beauty.

Praying Dee you will be quickened and strengthened for this retreat!!!

8. Are you beginning to find God beautiful? What thoughts do you have on the above?

This is an area in which I really need to grow. If I was taught the importance of spending a lot of prayer time in worship, I definitely never “got it” or didn’t know how. Yes, I was taught to praise God and have tried. But mostly I was too conscious of what those around me were doing, and I was always guessing what they might think of me. Approval idol, pure and simple. How do I stop thinking about what others think and start focusing only on what God thinks? I do find it very refocusing to focus on His holiness and power. I find it very helpful to focus on God as Shepherd, Guide, Helper, and Counselor. This helps me get my eyes off of my problems and also my need to “fix” and “control” my circumstances.

God has been answering my prayer to help me find Him beautiful. I awoke in the middle of the night a few nights ago and began praying through Psalm 23 – using first David’s word and then repraying them using my words. I had a blessed time of worship.

Now today, I picked up a book that has been on my shelf waiting to be read. I do not even know where it came from. It is just right for Lent, about Jesus’s journey to the Cross. It is called “Contemplating the Cross” by Tricia McCary Rhodes. I have read the first part and it is praying through the Scriptures of Jesus’ last hours beginning at the Mount of Olives. She seems like a powerful writer. She suggests we journal prayers as we read. Thank you, Lord, for this book at this time. Thank you for letting me watch with you as you face your hours of agony.

10. Share your notes here from the sermon.

11. What is your take-a-way and why?

I have been pondering again, so my answer to both is in one post. I have listened to the sermon 3 times, the first time I took notes, the second I just sat and listened and today I needed to decompress so I walked home from work (about an hour walk) and listened again while walking. There was something that I started to wonder about from the message (even though Keller doesn’t specifically say it) about resting. Perhaps it was something Cyndi said that tweaked something and then I read into the message, but I was pondering. The older brother appeared to be busy, busy working, Keller did refer to this when he commented on working for ones salvation, the younger son on the other hand came to his senses and while willing to work for his salvation, his father just wanted to celebrate.

I started wondering about what I do or do not do, I do alot of working, when I am not doing something and just sitting I feel guilty that I shouldn’t be just sitting I should be doing something. I will admit to being weary these days (not because I was walking home) I wonder if I am doing too much, am I trying to work out my salvation rather than just resting in it? I get home and try to sit at my computer, do the questions, read my bible, contemplate and add my answers into my word document, read all the posts, perhaps answer a couple, sometimes I am so tired I having trouble doing that, but I committed so I push myself to doing at least something. After listening the first time, I started to wonder if my “doing” was really working out my salvation, but in a way that I saw it as honoring, so wasn’t seeing that it was working. I started to wonder about the duty vs beauty thing Keller mentioned and on my way home I was walking past trees, plants, a river, but all were not busy, the trees and plants are resting for the winter, the river was frozen over so not “active”, it too looked like it was resting. The clouds in the sky were just starting to get ready for sunset,so they were still white and grey, not the wonderful colors they would be within an hour. I felt like I was being told that rest was important, not just a good nights sleep but rest, rest in His presence, who He is. I felt I was being told that I didn’t have to work at getting closer to Him, if I rested I might find that He is right there to lean against. I am broken (so I see my need for my saviour), but I also can be prideful and self-important(when I work for my acceptance), I can be both on the same day. One thing I did pick up from Keller is that my salvation is my acceptance and I don’t need to earn any more of it.

I guess my pondering went on a bit longer than I thought it would…sorry 🙂

10. Share your notes here from the sermon. Particularly share anything new and share what you learned about Jesus from the close.

This quote from Richard Loveless caught my attention:
“People who are no longer sure that God loves and accepts them in Jesus Christ apart from their present spiritual achievements are subconsciously radically insecure persons.”
The quote went on, but this first part helped me answer what I see in myself from an earlier question. I think I must have an insecure nature that keeps me forever questioning whether God really loves me, accepts me, or not. Now I have something specific I can go to God about in prayer.

What I learned about Jesus is he speaks plainly to His enemies, tells them what they are, yet He is tender with them, pleading with them to receive grace.
Yet Keller reminds us that we all were His enemies at one time! The Cross tells us that “You are so messed-up, lost, and hopeless, nothing less than the death of the Son of God can save you.”
But, at the same time, Jesus is saying, from the Cross, “I’m glad to do it.”

Jesus, the “ultimate insider”, was thrown out as far as He could possibly go, so that we, who were outsiders, could be taken in.

I am so thankful that Jesus is my True Older Brother – leaving His home to address the pain in His Father’s heart over me, to come and find me and bring me home. Like a True Older Brother, He looks out for me, protects me from myself and from those who would hurt me, is loyal and faithful and loves me no matter what.

11. What is your take-a-way and why?

I remember hearing this story as a teenager and identifying my sister as the ‘younger brother’ and myself as the older—although I’m the youngest, it fit well, she was the rebel and I was the ‘rule-follower’. But for years I missed the sin in my older-brother status. By His grace, He has shown me my sin of self-righteousness, and it’s incredible to me that now I long to be more ‘younger-brotherish’. Not in rebelling, but in recognizing the rebellion was already there—to allow the truth to break me, to cause me to say “What Have I done, Sweet Jesus?” and run into His arms.
This week we’ve all commented on how we see ourselves—but the beautiful truth impacting me today is that while we have been older brothers, younger brothers, who we are, are chosen brothers. We are, as John called himself, “the one Jesus loves”. That new identity not only melts me in this moment but makes me smile—it gives me an anchor of hope to cling to—we cannot forget who we are now, because of Christ.

My takeaway: From the sermon-not to look at older brother/younger brother characteristics in others to judge them, but to look for them in myself and in my relationship to God. Identifying them in others can help me to sympathize with them and come alongside them and walk the path to the Father with them.

From the parable-The father used 2 different methods to reach his sons. One son he let go and waited for him to return. While he did run out to meet the son, it was only after the son decided to return. In the other son case, he went out to find him, spoke with him and tried to coax him back with love and reason.

Sidenote: anyone who has ever lost a dearly loved one will have no trouble imagining the joy of the father when the child that he thought was dead returned.

I just read the Scotty Smith prayer for today–it fits with my take-away thoughts above “A Prayer about Jesus’ Shameless, Irrepressible Love for Us”
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/scottysmith/2013/02/23/a-prayer-about-jesus-shameless-irrepressible-love-for-us/

Here’s an excerpt:
We freely cry, “Abba, Father,” because you first cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34). You took all the guilt and all the shame of our sin on the cross. I really do believe this. I really want to experience it more fully.
Because God has placed us in you, we are now “of the same family.” What more could we possibly want in this life and the life to come? And you’re the only one who can make us holy, for you are our wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, our holiness, and our redemption (1 Cor. 1:30). What peace, what transcendent and everlasting peace this brings to our hearts.

My take away, I want to be seeking to examine my heart to see my sin the separation it brings and be quick to repent, not to indulge in it until I am in desperate need of rescue, or even more frightening to be like the older brother and be blind to it, proudly believing it is virtue even.

I want to love the Father, to listen to Him, to trust His love, to see that every good and perfect gift comes from Him, He gives them to me to be rightly enjoyed with thanksgiving, not as something for me to find the satisfaction and meaning in that can only come from Him.
My discipline of getting up early, I forget to set the clock as I go to bed, but He has been waking me up sometimes at precisely 5:30, with thoughts of Him filling my head, so yes, I am sensing more intimacy with God.
I think I tend to look for too big a thing when I am asked that question. I over look the intimacy I do have thinking that isn’t what is meant. When I dwell on God, on Christ, when I have a moment when I feel he has brought me to understand some truth, when I am filled with the beauty of creation, when thankful for warm showers, when I thank God for my husband as I pick up his socks left in the living room, isn’t that intimacy with Him?