IF YOU HAVE JUST JOINED US, PLEASE READ INDECENT PROPOSAL PART I
Jesus said, If you know the truth, it can set you free. Paul uses the story of Abraham and his two wives as an analogy to show us a wrong way and a right way to approach the Christian life. One puts us in bondage, and the other sets us as free as an eagle in the sky.
The Galatians had listened to false teaching and had embraced an indecent proposal and the way of slavery. Paul writes to them sternly, saying:
You foolish Galatians! Who has
I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel, which is really no gospel at all.
False teachers had come to Galatia and told them it was right to trust what Christ did on the cross, but they also needed to keep the law. It was faith plus. It was a perversion of the Gospel. And Paul thunders:
But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned.
Let’s look at the analogy Paul makes and then find applications to how we approach life — for God’s heart for you is to be set free.ble Study:
1. Read Galatians 4:21-23 and explain the differences between the birth of Ishmael and Isaac.
2. Read Galatians 4:24-31 and explain who “our mother” is. What does this mean? (This is a challenging passage, but not as hard as it might appear, and can truly make a difference in your life, so ask the Lord for His quickening to understand.)
3. Contemplate on the following and answer after each bullet point:
THE SON OF THE SLAVE WOMAN
- What did this not involve a miracle but natural means?
- Why did this involve an indecent proposal?
- What bad fruit did this lead to?
BUT THE SON OF THE FREE WOMAN
- Why was this a miracle?
- Why did this honor God?
- What good fruit did this lead to?
In our lives, we are continually faced with these two approaches to life. Consider:
THE LONGING TO GO TO HEAVEN
THE WAY OF SLAVERY
- Follow the rules and earn your way to heaven – no miracle involved
- Is an indecent proposal because Christ already paid dearly and it was enough
- Leads to bondage and doesn’t work!
THE WAY OF FREEDOM
- Trust what Christ did on the cross to pay for your sin
- Honors God by trusting the miracle of grace
- Leads to joy, freedom, and assurance
4. Tim Keller says one of the surest signs to discern whether someone is a Christian is their response when you ask, “Are you a Christian?” The response of someone who is a child of the slave will be a bit of a perturbed, “Of course! Why do you ask?” But the child of the freewoman will say something like, “Oh yes — isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t it amazing?” Explain, using the above analogy, why this would be so.
Now, let’s apply the Gospel to more than just heaven.
THE LONGING TO BE RELIEVED OF GUILT
Many women who talk to me after a retreat will confess a sin like abortion or infidelity and then say something like, “I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself.” There are two paths open to them. Let’s see how you do – imagine how someone who does trust Christ, might also choose the way of slavery. Then contrast that with the way of Freedom.
5. Using the above diagram, see if you can answer the questions in parenthesis.
THE WAY OF SLAVERY
- Trust Christ but also beat myself up to help pay for my sin
- (Explain why this is an “indecent proposal”)
- (Describe result)
THE WAY OF FREEDOM
- (What must you trust alone?)
- (Why is this honoring to God?)
- (What fruit does this lead to?)
4. What guilt and regrets do you carry? Why is carrying them dishonoring to God, offering an “indecent proposal?” If you are willing, list them here and lay them down at the cross.
THE LONGING FOR THE DESIRES OF OUR HEART TO BE MET
When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, the desire of my heart was that he would be healed on earth. I thought, I’ll ask everyone I know throughout the world to pray. I’ll live a blameless life. I’ll fast. I felt if I just did enough, then God would heal Steve on earth. And while it is true that Scripture exhorts us to pray, to live blamelessly, and even to fast – it is not to arm wrestle God, but instead, an expression of our intimate walk with Him. We live as He asks because we love Him, rather than to control Him. We leave the results to Him, who does all things well in His time. If we cannot see a reason for suffering, we submit to His wisdom and grace, knowing His character. As we grow in our trust for Him, we know that if He does not give us the desires of our heart, then it is because He has a better plan, a better way, that one day will be made clear. When we have a strong desire, whether it is for marriage, or children, or to be released from suffering – there are two paths open to us.
5. When we face suffering — see if you can explain which path is honoring to God and which path is not. Explain also why the path that honors God leads to humility and freedom, and the “indecent proposal” leads to pride or anger.
6. There are so many other applications, because living a Gospel-transformed life applies to much more than heaven. How might you apply this to your life?
This forum has become a place where we not only help one another find strength in God through pondering the Scripture, but by sharing our needs and praying for one another. I must thank you for praying for the births of my three grand-daughters this summer. Here is Katherine Elizabeth Harrington, my daughter Beth’s daughter who was born Friday. We are so thankful for yet another healthy baby. She, like her cousin did, is struggling with billirubin — (we used to call it jaundice.) I do appreciate your prayers for this precious one, as you prayed for Mia. Here she is — and thank you so for your prayers. I’m praying for you as you do this study. I think it’s an important lesson.
132 comments
Dee, Although I have not been posting, I just wanted to pop by and say that I have been using the Bible studies along with you all. Actually, my husband and I are going through some deep waters this summer and have been doing the studies together. Thanks so much for sharing with us what God has taught you.
Love,
Debbie
Welcome, Debbie. How nice to know! May the Lord draw you out of the deep waters or sustain you in them. Blessings to you. You are welcome to share or just follow along.
I apologize for the length of my reply, but I don’t know what this week will bring so I thought it best to post it at once.
I am so thrilled to hear of little Katherine’s birth and will keep her in my prayers!
1. Read Galatians 4:21-23 and explain the differences between the birth of Ishmael and Isaac.
Ishmael was born in the natural way and Isaac was born of a promise. The natural way brought slavery and the promise brought freedom.
2. Read Galatians 4:24-31 and explain who “our mother” is. What does this mean? (This is a challenging passage, but not as hard as it might appear, and can truly make a difference in your life, so ask the Lord for His quickening to understand.)
Our mother is the Jerusalem of above, which is perfect in freedom. We are born of heaven, not the bondage of earth.
3. Contemplate on the following and answer after each bullet point:
THE SON OF THE SLAVE WOMAN
*What did this not involve a miracle but natural means?
Natural means is the human effort of Sarah to give Hagar to Abraham to have a child using human “wisdom”, not faith relying on the promise of God.
*Why did this involve an indecent proposal?
When we try to solve our own problems by our own means instead of turning to God, we will do so “indecently”. To me, indecent doesn’t only apply to a sexual sin like the one involving Hagar, but indecent means what we do without considering God.
*What bad fruit did this lead to?
It leads to ill-made decisions that don’t involve or rely on God.
BUT THE SON OF THE FREE WOMAN
*Why was this a miracle?
Our rebirth as Christians is every bit as miraculous as 100-year-old people having a baby. Both come from the promise of God, things that puzzle the natural human mind.
*Why did this honor God?
Trust and belief in God and His promises honor Him.
*What good fruit did this lead to?
It led to the birth of Isaac and our spiritual renewal and conversion.
In our lives, we are continually faced with these two approaches to life. Consider:
THE LONGING TO GO TO HEAVEN
THE WAY OF SLAVERY
Follow the rules and earn your way to heaven – no miracle involved
Is an indecent proposal because Christ already paid dearly and it was enough
Leads to bondage and doesn’t work!
THE WAY OF FREEDOM
Trust what Christ did on the cross to pay for your sin
Honors God by trusting the miracle of grace
Leads to joy, freedom, and assurance
4. Tim Keller says one of the surest signs to discern whether someone is a Christian is their response when you ask, “Are you a Christian?” The response of someone who is a child of the slave will be a bit of a perturbed, “Of course! Why do you ask?” But the child of the freewoman will say something like, “Oh yes — isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t it amazing?” Explain, using the above analogy, why this would be so.
The child of the slave is annoyed because she feels she has earned her right to go to Heaven and takes the question as an accusation that she hasn’t done well enough. The child of the free woman knows it is only by grace she has been saved and trusts in Christ freely with more joy than can be explained in simple words.
Now, let’s apply the Gospel to more than just heaven.
THE LONGING TO BE RELIEVED OF GUILT
Many women who talk to me after a retreat will confess a sin like abortion or infidelity and then say something like, “I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself.” There are two paths open to them. Let’s see how you do – imagine how someone who does trust Christ, might also choose the way of slavery. Then contrast that with the way of Freedom.
5. Using the above diagram, see if you can answer the questions in parenthesis.
THE WAY OF SLAVERY
Trust Christ but also beat myself up to help pay for my sin
(Explain why this is an “indecent proposal”)
You’re adding to what Christ did to make you feel better, but it doesn’t!
(Describe result)
The result is chasing your tail, bound to your feelings instead of the truth of what Christ did for you. Some days you can do enough to “feel” forgiven but the next day can reverse it totally, and none of it has to do with God.
THE WAY OF FREEDOM
(What must you trust alone?) CHRIST!
(Why is this honoring to God?) Believing Him is a way to honor Him and please Him. “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness” Gen 15:6. Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”
(What fruit does this lead to?) Peace, freedom, assurance, trust, to name a few!
4. What guilt and regrets do you carry? Why is carrying them dishonoring to God, offering an “indecent proposal?” If you are willing, list them here and lay them down at the cross.
The way my heart was before I was a Christian — selfish, inconsiderate, greedy, etc. The way I depend on my own thoughts/feelings to solve things. How little I trust. I’m so sorry, Jesus. These are indecent proposals because I feel I can “do” something about them… which is turning my head from Your Gift.
THE LONGING FOR THE DESIRES OF OUR HEART TO BE MET
When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, the desire of my heart was that he would be healed on earth. I thought, I’ll ask everyone I know throughout the world to pray. I’ll live a blameless life. I’ll fast. I felt if I just did enough, then God would heal Steve on earth. And while it is true that Scripture exhorts us to pray, to live blamelessly, and even to fast – it is not to arm wrestle God, but instead, an expression of our intimate walk with Him. We live as He asks because we love Him, rather than to control Him. We leave the results to Him, who does all things well in His time. If we cannot see a reason for suffering, we submit to His wisdom and grace, knowing His character. As we grow in our trust for Him, we know that if He does not give us the desires of our heart, then it is because He has a better plan, a better way, that one day will be made clear. When we have a strong desire, whether it is for marriage, or children, or to be released from suffering – there are two paths open to us.
5. When we face suffering — see if you can explain which path is honoring to God and which path is not. Explain also why the path that honors God leads to humility and freedom, and the “indecent proposal” leads to pride or anger.
Trying to fix it ourselves is not honoring to God, but laying it all out before Him is honoring. Just tonight I had a decision to make and I prayed 1 John 3:20 “God is greater than our hearts, for he knows everything.” My feelings are not totally settled with the result, but I am not surprised because my feelings/heart are lesser than God and He knows everything about the situation so if I’d followed myself and my own inclinations, I’d have missed out on some of that information that is exclusively in the knowledge of God. I know He’ll soothe me, I know it will all be right in the end. This is my humility and the gift of freedom.
The indecent proposal will lead to pride or anger given the result of our actions. If it is “positive” it will lead to pride. If not, we are angry that our plans didn’t work.
6. There are so many other applications, because living a Gospel-transformed life applies to much more than heaven. How might you apply this to your life?
I can apply it by how I handle problems large and small, how I treat others and to what I will aspire in my life.
Tracy — I’m so thankful for your thoughtful answers. This is a challenging passage and I was beginning to fear I’d have no takers —
here are some things I liked about your thoughtful answers. Since you are the first and only so far, I want to encourage you. The Word of God is perfect, encouraging the soul — and you encourage all of us with your careful answers.
Here are some points of yours I liked.
When we try to solve our own problems by our own means instead of turning to God, we will do so “indecently”. To me, indecent doesn’t only apply to a sexual sin like the one involving Hagar, but indecent means what we do without considering God. (So good.)
Also this:
The child of the slave is annoyed because she feels she has earned her right to go to Heaven and takes the question as an accusation that she hasn’t done well enough. The child of the free woman knows it is only by grace she has been saved and trusts in Christ freely with more joy than can be explained in simple words.
And this:
The indecent proposal will lead to pride or anger given the result of our actions. If it is “positive” it will lead to pride. If not, we are angry that our plans didn’t work.
Thanks so much for your encouraging reply. 🙂
1. Read Galatians 4:21-23 and explain the differences between the birth of Ishmael and Isaac.
*Ishmael was born by a slave woman
*Isaac was born by a free woman
*Ishmael was born of the flesh
*Isaac was born of the promise
2. Read Galatians 4:24-31 and explain who “our mother” is. What does this mean? (This is a challenging passage, but not as hard as it might appear, and can truly make a difference in your life, so ask the Lord for His quickening to understand.)
I have always had a hard time simplifying my thoughts, so bear with me. I think I have edited this a million times. It is hard to put into words. 🙂
Sarah is our mother. Sarah represents the new Jerusalem from above-freedom from the bondage of the law via Jesus’ death buriel and resurrection-the new Jerusalem.
When we are born from above and receive the Holy Spirit we join into this covenant of freedom with Sarah. We are freed from bondage to the law which is being in bondage to our flesh trusting in a set of rules rather than resting in Jesus.
Excellent Rebecca. I’d say you did very well with a very difficult passage.
1. Ishmael was born of the law and Isaac born of God’s promise.
2. Mt. Sinai is where the law was given to Moses. The law is not our mother but rather Jerusalem the city of God (promise).
3a. The birth of Ishmael did not involve a miracle but was the result of human effort. It was the result of Sarah’s idolatry. She cared more about God’s gift of a son than she did about God. The bad fruit is almost too numerous to name but I think the result of it all was broken family that echoed down through generations.
3b. Isaac’s birth was a miracle because Sarah was beyond childbearing years. It honored God because neither Sarah nor Abraham could take credit for it. The good fruit was that God built a nation through Isaac and brought forth His Messiah for the fulfillment of His promise to us.
To me the law is like a spotlight into our hearts. It shows our desperate need. We are not saved by it. We are saved by the miracle of the Messiah. He is God’s answer to our need as demonstrated by the law.
In my Bible I have a note in the margin to beware of legalism. Verse 30 says to “throw out the slave and her son, for the slave will never inherit with the son of the freewoman”. Verse 29 says that just as the child born of the flesh persecuted the one born according to the Spirit, so also now. These are such powerful words against legalism! Have we not all been on the receiving end of human judgement? Can I say that I have not also dished it out? I’m feeling that sword again! But oh the freedom of throwing out the son of the slave and embracing the love of Christ! In this God is glorified!
As usual, you do not disappoint. I love that you saw the brokenness down through the generations. We could surely do that with legalism too.
And I loved this, Anne:
Can I say that I have not also dished it out? I’m feeling that sword again! But oh the freedom of throwing out the son of the slave and embracing the love of Christ! In this God is glorified!
Anne, You nailed it, this is awesome!
Thank you both for your encouragement. This is such a good study. It speaks right to where I am now.
Anne, me too. This is speaking to me too.
This was a very intersting study.
Thank you Dee & congratulations 🙂
Today I can’t seem to answer and I think it’s because I am letting this amazing message sink in. I need it to. Thank you Tracy for your accurate and thoughtful answers 😉
I think there are quite a few things to be learned here but for starters, the more I understand the love of God, the smaller I become. My pride begins to diminish leaving no space for “my thoughts” or “my reasoning” to take conrol of my life. If I leave it up to my thoughts of how I am not forgiven or not good enough, then I have no hope.
However, if I look at Jesus then I see my salvation and hope that comes from above.
Dee – I see the pictures of your darling grandchildren and they reflect the “new born” and “new life”. I understand that this is the gift we get to experience when we accept the Lord Jesus Christ – renewal of the mind, forgiveness of past sins and a new beginning.
I guess the question then is why do we continue to offer God indecent proposals by rejecting His salvation? Or why do we allow the pattern of negative thoughts to cause us to sin?
If we truly accept Him for who He is – then we should stop.
Just amazed.
Lyrices — I love your sense of amazement. I know how hard this passage is but I feel like I’m seeing those who dig into it come up with gold — and be amazed. Thanks for digging.
Hey ladies, I just got back from taking my son to have a revision surgery on his sinus’. He is 8 years old and this is his fourth surgery, but we are SO thankful for God’s provision of insurance and GREAT doctors and hospitals.
While I was in the waiting room I was reading in “The Valley Of Vision”, which is one of my favorite books of encouragement and contemplation. It is a collection of Puritan prayers and devotions.. Long story, but the prayers in this book are drawn from several believers in a rare time where there was unity so you couldn’t tell them apart as far as their differences like the ones we have, i.e. conformists and non-conformists. They all breathed the same God centeredness and devotion in their prayers.. Anyway, I need to go to the store to get some antibiotics and Tylenol and popsicles for my sweet baby for today.. When I get back, if I have time I will post one of the prayers that ecouraged me and might relate to our study this week. My hubby is here to help out today! Love you guys!
Praying for your son
Yes. praying for his comfort, healing and rest for you and your husband. I look forward to hearing from the book.
1. Explain the difference between Ishmael and Isaac. Ishmael was born from a slave according to the flesh. Isaac was the son of the free woman through promise. (Gal.4:23) We are children of the free woman, for Christ has set us free. 2. Explain who our mother is & what does this mean? Our mother is free & of the promise & she is from the Jerusalem above. What this means to me is, our mother is the heavenly Jerusalem & not a slave to the old laws & she is God’s promise to us. I’ll have to take slow. Wish I could do more at a time.
O.K. Here it is. I am eating a late lunch! This is a puritan prayer from “The Valley of Vision.” I just love the way they wrote and expressed their heart to God:
“Grace in Trials” Page #171 (I cut off the first half and started in the middle)
…Thou has disarmed me of the means in which I trusted,
and I have no strength but in thee.
thou alone canst hold back my evil ways,
but without thy grace to sustain me I fall.
Satan’s darts quickly inflame me,
and the shield that should quench them easily drops from my hand:
Empower me against his wiles and assaults. Keep me sensible of my weakness,
and my dependence upon thy strength.
Let every trial teach me more of thy peace,
more of thy love.
Thy Holy Spirit is given to increase thy graces,
and I cannot preserve or improve them
unless he works continually in me.
May he confirm my trust in thy promised help,
and let me walk humbly in dependence upon thee,
for Jesus’ sake.
I love the Valley of Vision. My favorite prayer is “Voyage”.
Voyage (pp. 202-203 in The Valley Of Vision)
O Lord of the Oceans,
My little bark sails on a restless sea,
Grant that Jesus may sit
at the helm and steer me safely;
Suffer no adverse currents
to divert my heavenward course,
let not my faith be wrecked amid storms and shoals;
Bring me to harbour with flying pennants,
hull unbreached, cargo unspoiled.
I ask great things,
expect great things,
shall receive great things.
I venture on thee wholly, fully,
my wind, sunshine, anchor, defence.
The voyage is long,
the waves high, the storms pitiless,
but my helm is held steady,
thy Word secures safe passage,
thy grace wafts me onward,
my haven is guaranteed.
This day will bring me nearer home,
grant me holy consistency in every transaction,
my peace flowing as a running tide,
my righteousness as every chasing wave.
Help me to live circumspectly,
with skill to convert every care into prayer.
Halo my path with gentleness and love,
smooth every asperity of temper;
let me not forget how easy it is to occasion grief;
may I strive to bind up every wound,
and pour oil on all troubled waters.
May the world this day be happier
and better off because I live.
Let my mast before me be the Saviour’s cross,
and every oncoming wave the fountain in his side.
Help me, protect me in the moving sea,
until I reach the shore of unceasing praise.
Absolutely wonderful. I shall put this one where I can see it every day.
YES.. This is great!
A friend just gave me The Valley of Vision —
how wonderful that you and Tracy are being so blessed by it. They are beautiful and so understand our depraved hearts and God’s goodness.
Dee, Can you imagine us writing that way? If only!! I love the way they wrote back then.
1. Ishmael was born to the unlawful wife of Abraham. Isaac was born to the rightful wife of Abraham.
2. When I first read through this passage I thought of the scripture where Peter tells us Jesus was ‘foreordained before the foundation of the world’ to be the spotless lamb, (1Peter 1:19-20) Heaven, as our mother, gives birth to freedom which was God’s plan from the beginning.
3. a. Ishmael’s birth was not a miracle because Hagar was still in child-bearing years.
b. This involved an indecent proposal because Sarah tried to solve her dilemma outside of God’s boundaries.
c. The indecent proposal led to the bad fruit of anger, contempt on Hagar’s part toward her mistress, and indifference, on Abraham’s part, toward the whole situation.
d. The birth of Isaac was a miracle because 90 year old Sarah was past child-bearing ability.
e. The birth of Isaac honored God twofold: first, it confirmed the mighty power of God can accomplish what seems to be impossible. Second, it confirmed that God keeps his promises.
f. The birth of Isaac led to the good fruit of the birth of the nation of Israel from whom the Messiah-the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world-came.
4. The child of the slave will assume because she has been born to professing Christians then she is automatically a Christian. The child of the freewoman has a hard time comprehending why God would love someone like her-a sinner who doesn’t deserve God’s compassion and mercy. The child of the freewoman has no qualms about being authentic. The child of the slave refuses to admit imperfection.
Tammy — I liked how you really saw that bad fruit that resulted.
I thought your child of the slave was interesting, and we see that when Jesus debated the Pharisees who thought they were children of Abraham because they were his descendants. Along with that, they were trusting in their own works righteousness instead of grace.
Good job.
Dee
I must admit when I first read through the blog I knew we would be swimming in very deep waters. I appreciate your feedback. Sometimes I wonder if I’m on the right track and I must confess there are times, after reading some of the more insightful answers, I feel inadequate. But, then I remember condemnation is not from the Lord and I remind myself I have been walking in total freedom for only two years. New growth comes slow. Have a blessed day my sister!!
Tammy, I also battle similar feelings. I’m glad you expressed them. I worry that I may try to read too much into passages and carry us down rabbit trails. I also worry that I spend too much time on the computer but this is an opportunity I may never have again. What better way to spend time? It seems that the enemy is very vigilant in trying to steer us away from this study, but when I see it tying into my daily struggles, I know I am not on a rabbit trail.
You are both amazing — and add so much!
I do agree, I think the enemy is against the site because I have such a hard time getting to my computer and some times I feel that I am simply being bloked. But the Bible Study has been very helpful to me this summer and I thank God that Dee is holding it.
Anne and Tammy, Ditto what Dee said. 🙂
Tammy — I’ve been contemplating your thoughts. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your honesty. Wow. YOu are two years old as a believer — and look at your maturity.
The enemy works on all of us. When there was so little response at first to this post, I thought, my study is too difficult — I am not communicating with women — I am not helping them — and I still battle those thoughts.
I do want to know when something is too hard, to see if I can make it clearer. Having a two-year-old Christian on board who is so honest is a great gift — for it helps me to help others.
I thank God for you, Tammy. I truly do.
I’ve actually been a believer longer than two years. I gave my heart to him over twenty years ago. What I meant by living in total freedom is that I have a better understanding of living the true Christian life and that understanding has developed over the course of the past two years.
I’m thinking about what I just said. I think you are right Dee. I am a two year old TRUE believer. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve belived. What matters is I BELIEVE!!!
2. Abraham’s son by Hagar was simply an ordinary birth, nothing special about it. Sarah’s son, Isaac, was the son God had promised to she and Abraham. God had promised to send a baby to them in their old age, a special child.
The two women represent the two different covenants. Hagar’s child respresents the law under which we are slaves, Sarah’s son represents grace and makes us free. Hagar’s child, Ishmael, represents the Jerusalem here on earth, represents Mt. Sinai in Arabia, Sarah’s child represents the New Jerusalem which is in Heaven. Christians are the children of Sarah’s promise, we are the children of the promise,forgiven through grace and belief and trust in Jesus Christ. If we make ourselves slaves to the law and legalism we are the children of Hagar, if we are freed by Christ than we are free indeed.
3. Ishmaels birth was not a miracle, it was Sarah’s idea and Abraham agreed to it. There was no miracle about it-a man and woman had sex outside of marriage and the woman conceived a child. What they did was wrong and against God’s laws. And the birth led to Isaac being persecuted by Ishmael and even to the hostile middle east situation we see today.
Dee, once again congratulations on another beautiful granddaughter.
Thanks Judy — and excellent answers.
3. Contemplate on the following and answer after each bullet point:
THE SON OF THE SLAVE WOMAN
* What did this not involve a miracle but natural means? * Why did this involve an indecent proposal?
Hagar’s pregnancy was done in rebellion to God..in the flesh..the opposite of waiting on God and trusting Him to move, it was pushing forth in the flesh to have something done by their efforts, when God had another plan in mind and even shared that plan with Abraham, but they said, no God not your will but mine.
* What bad fruit did this lead to?
God told Hagar that her offspring will be a wild donkey of a man always at enmity with everyone around them..Genesis 16:12. I concur with Anne’s answer in regard to the many broken generations afterward.
BUT THE SON OF THE FREE WOMAN
* Why was this a miracle?
Sarah was way past the age of childbirth.
* Why did this honor God?
This was obvious to all men who could observe this back then and to us now as we learn of God’s great power to have impregnated a woman of her age, and also it was done by God’s hand, not Sarah and Abraham’s so they can’t take any credit for it.
* What good fruit did this lead to?
Again, I concur with Anne, it led to the birth of Jesus to fulfill His promise of a Messiah.
4. Tim Keller says one of the surest signs to discern whether someone is a Christian is their response when you ask, “Are you a Christian?” The response of someone who is a child of the slave will be a bit of a perturbed, “Of course! Why do you ask?” But the child of the freewoman will say something like, “Oh yes — isn’t it wonderful? Isn’t it amazing?” Explain, using the above analogy, why this would be so.
I love Tim Keller.
When one trusts in themselves or their works for their salvation, pride and frustration is huge in their life because the focus is on them and what they can do. They are constantly striving and the self condemnation grows because they are missing the mark, so when they are asked ‘are they a Christian’-it is an insult. They are going to explode because it is an affront on them and their efforts and frustrates/angers them even more.
A believer knows it is by nothing they have done, but by what Jesus has done-he paid it all. The miracle of drawing them, wooing them and fashioning their heart’s to be softened to responding to Him, and then giving the Holy Spirit to strengthen and counsel..Wow, what a miracle!! Nothing we have done! When someone truly believes that, it will bring humility rather than pride so when they respond to the question their thoughts won’t be on themselves but on Jesus the author of their faith.
THE LONGING TO BE RELIEVED OF GUILT
5. Using the above diagram, see if you can answer the questions in parenthesis.
THE WAY OF SLAVERY
* Trust Christ but also beat myself up to help pay for my sin
* (Explain why this is an “indecent proposal”)
‘forgiving ourselves’. Hmmmm…I don’t see that anywhere in scripture where God desires for us to forgive ourselves, but I could be mistaken. Jesus did that for us, so If I put the burden on me forgiving me then I would be acting in a controlling God kind of manner- putting my efforts over God’s grace-indecent proposal. Jesus took care of it. That is like saying, “Give it back!” “I don’t think you really took care of it!” “It is up to me to resolve this sin, not you. Your sacrifice wasn’t good enough.” As if Jesus’ blood wasn’t enough. That is pride. We are saying God is a liar basically.
The result is a terrible self-focus and growing pride problem, eventually anger, depression, frustration,lack of God’s peace and possibly a hardening of the heart or stunt in growth because it holds one back from learning to surrender. Our witness will be hampered to those around us. -Yikes! I only know this from experience in a desert season I have come out of in the last year. I don’t like those seasons, so I desire to press on.I don’t want to be bound in a desert season again where I am bouncing back and forth trusting in my efforts rather than trusting in the completed work of Jesus-He wasn’t lying when he said “It is finished”..
THE WAY OF FREEDOM
* (What must you trust alone?)
Jesus death, buriel and resurrection-I trust that He paid it all period. Satan will tempt me to go into my past and remind me of the sin Jesus paid for and tempt me to think I have to pay for it somehow.
* (Why is this honoring to God?)
By trusting Him alone our efforts don’t even play a part. We aren’t trying to control God or put ourselves in his. He is on the throne, not us and that will bring Him glory not us.
* (What fruit does this lead to?)
Humility and peace that passes all understanding, a strong witness of His working in our life because it will be the polar opposite of the fruit of the flesh and people who see us and come in contact with us will want to know why we are so different. They will want the peace and hope we have which will lead to the salvation of souls.
MAN is this a great study and God is using this in a tremendous way in my life. I can’t tell you Dee how thankful I am for your perseverance and faithfulness and for what God is doing in my life in the past month. Every week, God has encouraged me, comforted me and now he is reminding me of his sufficiency. Long story, but anyway.. Dee I know it is not to you be the glory, but to God and I want to give God the glory and thank Him for giving you the heart He has given you and the strength and faithfulness to persevere in doing these studies for us. Like I said before one doesn’t walk away from these studies unchanged, Praise be to God! 🙂
I HAVE INTERNET AGAIN!!! I didn’t have it for a week, which is why I haven’t been commenting, but I’m back now! 😀
1. Read Galatians 4:21-23 and explain the differences between the birth of Ishmael and Isaac.
Well, Isaac was the completion of a promise. And Ishmael was just…ordinary.
2. Read Galatians 4:24-31 and explain who “our mother” is. What does this mean? (This is a challenging passage, but not as hard as it might appear, and can truly make a difference in your life, so ask the Lord for His quickening to understand.)
We are daughters of the free woman, not of the slave. We are free, not in bondage to our sins anymore. We have been “born” in a way that is out of the ordinary, while we experience a “ordinary” birth into bondage, we have been reborn and now are free and can never truly be in bondage again. But we can definitely think we are…oi.
And, hopefully, I will be back and commenting again soon, I need to get in the habit of it again now that I actually have internet!! *yay*
If you trust in Christ and yet are beating yourself up to pay for your sins than you really aren’t trusting in Christ at all. You are also being vain in feeling your sin is too big for Christ to have covered. This is an indecent propsal because you are saying Jesus needed your help and if that were true He wouldn’t have said,”It is finished,” at Calvary. /trying to add to what Christ did is foolish and impossible. When you do not accept Christ’s free gift of salvation and grace you are (going by your feeling, and feelings are justthat-feelings. They don’t always mirrow reality. We must trust Christ because He came to earth and died for us so that we might have eternal salvation. We honor God when he trust Him and his wonderful work.
I found this by John Piper the other day and thought I would share. It encouraged me. http://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/tips/11610361.html
4. What guilt and regrets do you carry? Why is carrying them dishonoring to God, offering an “indecent proposal?” If you are willing, list them here and lay them down at the cross.
I think i have more than one and it has to do with the mistakes I have made as a mom, the times I was so overwhelmed with what was on my plate and as a result I didn’t handle situations as well as I could have. So I am laying it down now..
4. cont..What I did when I held that guilt was dishonoring to God because I thought I could control God’s working it out for good in my boys’ lives. Perhaps if I loosened the boundaries to make up for my mistakes..This was after I apologized to them and I do every time I make mistakes, so my guilt is totally unfounded and shows I still have control issues when it comes to my boys which is dishonoring to God. It is dishonoring when I put myself on the throne in their lives.
Imagine how someone who does trust Christ might also choose the way of slavery. Then contrast that with the way of freedom.
A woman can trust Christ yet enslave herself to hypocrisy when she puts on a smiley face and pretends she has no problems. She enslaves herself to illusion when she refuses to face the reality of her seemingly impossible situation.
Ah…but when she removes the mask of hypocrisy and escapes the clutches of illusion for the arms of truth, she walks in the freedom of forgiveness and is able to grace others as she has been graced.
Amen! May we be honest together on this blog. Thanks, Tammy.
Wow, reading through all these great answers so far. We were out of town beginning of the week in Michigan for a little “mini-vacation”, so hopefully I can get to the study. It is a timely one!
My favorite historical fiction authors have a blog and it seems that there are some interesting things going on in the sky tonight. If you have clear skies to the west you may be able to see. http://www.thoenebooks.com/blog.asp?post=0&id=630#
5. To trust Christ but also beat myself up to help pay for my sin is indecent because I am ‘paying’, as if I can add anything to Christ’s work of salvation. It seems idolatrous according to my understanding of idolatry, which is to substitute anything for God in my life. Can anyone locate Paul’s reference to crucifying Christ again? I would like to read that and see if it ties in here.
The result is that I am never free because I can’t forgive sin even if it is my own. To myself I say this is ridiculous. If I do not forgive another, it is sin and a root for bitterness. Is it not the same when turned inward? I have never thought of it like this.
I must trust in Christ alone and His sacrifice for my sin on the cross of Calvary. This honors God because I am accepting His free gift. He gave it to me because He loves me. For me to say that it is not enough or to refuse it would hurt and dishonor Him. One does not honor another by refusing their gift. Trust in Christ leads to complete forgiveness and freedom. It leads to full fellowship with God and growth into the likeness of Christ.
I think it is Hebrews 6:6 — interesting reference. Would love comments on it.
I have heard two different takes on Hebrews 6:6, but I did a bit of research and briefly skimmed through Wesley’s and Henry’s commentary on it. My time is usually always limited so by the grace of God here it goes:
I think it is referring to Apostate’s? Those who have heard and tasted and then totally turn away even siding with Christ’s enemies.. I mean blatantly turning one’s back on Jesus and even making fun of him and of other believers. I don’t think any of us here are doing that quite yet..even when we engage in sin with our indecent proposal guilt trips.
In this context, if I am getting it right, it encourages me because like Sarah I have done indecent proposals, trying to do things my own way instead of waiting on God and his way. Like Sarah I didn’t literally turn my back on God and despise Him…BY HIS GRACE i have to add.
Like Sarah,even though she messed up God still provided Isaac-kept his promise, as it is with me-He is faithful when I am not and he loves me no matter what. He won’t go back on His word..I can fall in his hands and rest in it. I am His child-His blood still covers my guilt even if I try to put it back on my shoulders, so I need to rest in that.
(That is how I am fitting Hebrews 6 in.. Hope it isn’t too much of a stretch!) =0)
This is a challenging passage to chew on. When I was at Covenant Seminary their teaching was that these are people who are in our midst, who appear as believers — who seem excited, tasting both the goodness of God and the power of the age to come — they do have some light, but if they fall away, they couldn’t have truly known Him — for no one can snatch true believers out of His hand. I do believe in eternal security because just as there was nothing we can do to gain eternal life, there is nothing we can do to lose it. Sarah and Abraham were his, they simply were doing what we all do, trusting in themselves. I believe the application is to nonbelievers who appear to be believers.
But a very challenging passage!
Dee, Thanks for clearing that up!! I agree! I re-read my comment and yikes, it does sound like I believed that passage to say that we could walk away from our salvation-or lose it. I am totally against that concept for the reasons you listed. I think I also made a stretch in making the comparison I made though!! :0)
Dee, Thanks for the reference. That is a passage of scripture I have difficulty understanding and I agree that it does not apply to our indecent proposals. I think I was trying to find a place for it in my mind. I agree that your explanation makes sense. The application is to those who use God for their own purposes rather than believers who turn away for a time. I know there are many of those for I was one for quite a few years.
4. When I was about ten or eleven I went through a terrible stage of feeling guilty about everything. I felt guilty when I thought I hurt someone’s feelings, when I didn’t follow my parents directions,when I hadn’t told the exact truth about something, and on and on. I kept going to my mother with this and she would tell me about God’s forgiveness and pray with me but than two days later I’d be back saying I felt guilty again. Finally she told me,”If you have asked God to forgive you and you are truly sorry and Jesus is your Savior than God says He has removed your sin as far as the east is from the west and He will remember your sin no more. If God has forgotten your sin why in the world do you want to get up and remind him about it every morning?” I’ve laughed about this a lot as an adult but I also learned from it.When I am really sorry about a sin, and I certainly haven’t lived a sinless life, I ask God’s forgiveness and because his Son is my Savior I know that I am forgiven because God does not lie. I also learned to ask that God keep me from that sin again. If we weren’t sinful Jesus would never have come to earth and died for us. I am so grateful to Him (and to my mother).
Judy,
Your story really hits home with me about the constant struggle between my emotions and God’s truth. I so often feel guilty for past sins that I have already confessed; I felt guilt when my nephew died for what I failed to do for him, wondering if I could have helped him in some way (he died of a drug overdose); and am currently in a struggle with guilt over a family situation in my home. I know the feeling of feeling guilty about everything!
I posted in a previous blog about attending prayer night at my friend’s church, and how one of the men prayed and asked Jesus to show me what He blames me for. When he put it like that, it seemed kind of silly for me to think that Jesus is pointing His finger at me and saying “It’s all YOUR fault”.
God didn’t do that to Abraham and Sarah. He didn’t say “You two made a mess out of everything and now I can’t fulfill My promise”. There were lasting consequences, but God still did what He was going to do.
I admit, it is an ongoing struggle, this matter of guilt.
I know Anne posted above about forgiving herself. Surely Satan wants us to live in bondage to guilt.
Judy, I loved your story. I wish I would of had parents that would of prayed for me & talked to me like that. God was never mentioned in our home. They did drop us 4 kids off at sunday school on sunday mornings tho, so I think they had good intentions but I always wondered why mom & dad never came to church after sunday school like the others kids parents did. We got picked up after sunday school & never attended church. I’m so thankful the Lord saved me & 2 of my older brothers. I’m still praying for my oldest brother. Mom & dad came to know the Lord before they died.
1. Read Galatians 4:21-23 and explain the differences between the birth of Ishmael and the birth of Isaac.
Ishmael was born to Abraham by the bondwoman, he was born according to the flesh (a man’s decision).
Isaac was born to Abraham by the free woman; he was born through the promise (God’s decision).
2. Read Galatians 4:24-31 and explain who our mother is. What does this mean?
I think this goes back to God’s promise to Abraham that his descendants shall be like the stars and the sand – impossible to number. We as believers in Christ are children of the free woman, we are children of the promise, born “not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God” (John 1:13) and this passage from John explains how we become children of God, by receiving Christ. You cannot be born again by human effort.
3. Contemplate on the following and answer after each bullet point.
THE SON OF THE SLAVE WOMAN
1. Why did this not involve a miracle but natural means?
Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham and Ishmael was conceived as a result of their union.
2. Why did this involve an indecent proposal?
Abraham and Sarah were husband and wife, one flesh, and this brought Hagar into their marriage bed. It violated their marriage covenant.
3. What bad fruit did this lead to?
It bred jealousy and strife between Hagar and Sarah; Sarah was viewed with contempt by Hagar; Sarah treated a pregnant Hagar harshly; and it brought sorrow to Abraham when eventually, the Lord told him that he must send Hagar and Ishmael away at the time when Isaac was weaned, because Ishmael was not the heir of the promise. It continues to this day in the Arab and Israeli conflict.
BUT THE SON OF THE FREE WOMAN
1. Why was this a miracle?
Sarah was barren all her life and way past child-bearing years; it took a miracle of God to enable her body to have a child.
2. Why did this honor God?
God received all the glory and credit for doing the impossible. It showed Abraham and Sarah’s complete reliance upon God to do for them what in their flesh they could never do.
3. What good fruit did this lead to?
It produced trust and obedience in Abraham and Sarah; it fulfilled God’s promise, and Sarah said that “God has made laughter for me”; she had joy in her heart.
In our lives, we are continually faced with these two approaches to life. Consider:
THE LONGING TO GO TO HEAVEN The way of slavery and the way of freedom
These were really good points to consider, and it really made the lives of Sarah, Abraham, and Hagar “come to life” and I never saw this before, that their story is our story when it comes to salvation and also living the Christian life.
4. Explain, using the above analogy, Tim Keller’s comments on the responses of the true Christian and the unbeliever.
I can see why the person who is still enslaved to earning their way into heaven by their own works or means gets defensive when asked “are you a Christian?” Because, after all, can’t you see how hard they are working, all the good things they are doing? It calls into question their character, their goodness in themselves.
But the believer will answer it is all because of God that I am saved. He or she knows that they could never have done this miracle for themselves.
Before I can go on with the next part of the study, about the longing to be relieved of guilt, I have to answer question #8. from last week’s blog, about have I ever tried to get something good but did it in a way that didn’t please God?
This has been an on-going issue for me for many years. I was not raised in church, and when I met my husband, he was a member of a certain denomination and attended church weekly. I began to attend with him. It was during that time I felt drawn to God, to somehow be in this church family. After we were married, I became a member of his church. After several years, though, I began to feel like I was missing something. At home, there was no talk of God or Bible reading or praying together. I still don’t think I knew what being a Christian really meant. I went to a Bible study at a non-denominational church, and began to really read the Bible. I discovered there were many differences between what the Bible said and what the church we attended taught. By this time, we had two sons. I began to feel strongly that I couldn’t continue to attend this church because if I went there and participated in all the rituals, that was like saying I agreed and believed all of their doctrines. I gradually began to attend the non-denominational church, and when this church planted a new church in our neighborhood, I began to take my boys to church with me, wanting them to be exposed to Biblical doctrine.
My husband quit going to church, and it soon became apparent that he was not really a Christian, because he didn’t believe the Bible and said I had “gone off the deep end” and to this day, he does alot of mocking of the Christian faith.
I am trying not to name denominations here, but my boys did attend a religious school according to the faith my husband was brought up in, and on that my husband insisted that they go to private school. So they kind of grew up learning two different things; there was much truth in what they were learning but many things added onto it. I always tried to show them in the Bible the difference, so it would not be “mom says” but this is what God says.
Now my boys are 16 and 19. My guilt is over how our home is divided over religion, and I feel like it is all my fault. I wonder if I should have stayed in the church we began in, so we could all be together as a family, and continued to read the Bible to my kids but I wonder if this was an issue of my not submitting to my husband and stepping out of his authority and taking matters into my own hands instead of just staying where I was and praying that God would eventually bring us all out of that church. I feel I’ve made a mess out of everything.
My oldest son says he still considers himself a member of the church my husband was raised in, and that is where he prefers to attend, and he does so when he is at college. Now my 16 year old is turned-off toward going to church; he used to read his Bible and has helped me teach Sunday school for three years and now he has taken a job which will be during the school year on Sunday mornings, so he wont be able to come to church with me.
Both boys prayed to receive Christ when they were younger; the oldest I had read a Keys for Kids devotional to him and he wanted to pray that day to receive Christ, and the other said he prayed by himself once he understood what it meant that Jesus died on the Cross for him.
I know I was not meant to be the spiritual leader of my home, and I feel I’ve caused all of this. Of course my husband doesn’t really care what anyone does or if anyone goes to church or not.
My daughter, 10, is the only one who hasn’t had to go through this, as she has always attended church with me and didn’t go to the school her brothers attended.
Anyway, I feel guilty, guilty, guilty. This lesson has been a painful one for me. I guess my indecent proposal was to leave the church/denomination I had converted to and strike out on my own, without consulting God.
I think this may be why I have suffered such a loss of joy in my walk with God. It’s hard for me to see what God can do to make this right.
Susan, After reading this I am amazed at what God has done in your heart. How He moved in your life and took you out of that church and into His word-Him. Wow, that could only come from God. I am no expert here, but I think God has used and is using you to plant many seeds in your boys and husband’s heart.
You should read about “The Son of Hamas”. If you google it, or google something like “The son of Hamas becomes a Christian”… This is an extreme example, but might encourage you nonetheless. A traveler over there handed him a bible and asked him to come to a bible study. He went, but after that he wanted to really know for himself so he went by himself in a place like in the hills or something and compared the bible with the Koran and God started showing him the love of Christ as opposed to the things he saw in his faith and eventually he gave his life to Jesus.
Be encouraged sister! I think in your situation it doesn’t matter what happened, God can take anything and turn it around for good.
Thank you for the encouragement, Rebecca.
Oh Susan, I can so relate to what you are going through. Later I may share why but I want to say that I think you totally did the right thing. Of course the gospel has caused division. Jesus said it would. You have planted seeds that have not as yet borne fruit. Pray for fruit as I am doing.
I think I remember from the last study we went through on the God of All Comfort, some of the things you shared on the blog, that you have been through a similar situation. And thanks for the needed encouragement to pray. I KNOW I should pray, but I often avoid praying because 1) the load of guilt tells me falsely to forget it, it’s too late for anything to be done and why would God listen to you, 2) nothing will ever change, it’s hopeless 3) I feel depressed and then get kind of despondent and just feel like giving up. All of which I know makes Satan very happy and short-changes God in that I don’t pray big things because He can do anything!
#4. What guilt and regrets do you carry? Why is carrying them dishonoring to God, offering an “indecent proposal”? If you are willing, list them here and lay them down at the Cross.
I think I answered this in the above, also #8 from last week. This is my biggest source of guilt and regret in my life right now, that there is no unity in my family, no unity in faith, and I feel like I am the one that caused all the division. I feel I caused confusion in my sons and perhaps that is why my 16 year old is turned off. It has caused division in my marriage. My husband wants nothing to do with God.
I’m trying to compare my situation with Abraham and Sarah. God still gave them Isaac, and they rejoiced over their son. The Bible doesn’t say that they continued to feel guilty and regret the situation with Hagar and Ishmael. The Bible doesn’t say that God punished them for taking matters into their own hands. Abraham and Sarah didn’t try to “make it up to God” so that He would give them the son He had promised. As if they could, anyway. The fact that He was still faithful to them and gracious to them shows His character, not theirs.
The indecent proposal is my carrying around this heavy sack of guilt and regret for the rest of my life and refusing to rest in the work of Christ on the Cross.
But what “seems” indecent is that I can have peace and joy knowing that even if I did make a mess of everything, I am forgiven and God loves me. And Anne alluded to this in her post about punishing yourself and not forgiving yourself. In that, when someone hurts us, we often want to seek to exact punishment on tht person, but this can also be turned inward on ourselves, and we seek to punish ourselves.
I’m trying really hard to grasp this, because it’s like WHO is it that is saying to me “you cannot have a smile on your face and feel joy and the freedom of being forgiven when you have done….” And it is not God’s voice telling me this, it is MY OWN voice pronouncing judgement upon me and it is probably Satan, too.
I think this is why Paul wrote that the message of the Cross is foolishness to so many people. It seems all wrong, upside-down, compared to how we would handle things. It makes God’s Words true in that He said “My thoughts are NOT your thoughts, and My ways are NOT your ways”.
And I may be confusing consequences with guilt. Yes, there have been negative consequences in my family because of my decisions. When I experience those consequences day after day, year after year, I translate them into guilt, blaming myself, and being unable to experience the abundant life that Jesus promised. I translate these consequences into punishment, but doesn’t that say alot of how I view God and my misunderstanding of His character? This dishonors God and must grieve Him when I miss seeing His goodness, faithfulness, and love. Jesus isn’t withholding this abundant life from me, saying I can’t have it and that I don’t deserve it. It’s me telling myself this.
I learned this verse once in a Bible study, Psalm 119:32, “I run in the path of Your commands, FOR YOU HAVE SET MY HEART FREE”.
Lord, my prayer to You this morning is that You will set my heart
free so that I may run before You in freedom as Your child, feet barely touching the ground, and help me to lay these regrets and guilt at the foot of the Cross and truly experience YOur forgiveness and healing. I cannot run carrying this heavy load of guilt. Please show me the way of freedom and keep me on the path that is Your way.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Susan, I pray your prayer with you, for you, so that God will set your heart free from all the quilt you carry. We love you. THE LONGING TO BE RELIEVED OF GUILT Many women who talk to me after a retreat will confess a sin & say, “I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself.” Imagine how someone who does trust Christ, might also choose the way to slavery. Then contrast that with the way of freedom. Someone who does trust Christ might also choose the way to slavery by asking forgiveness but not forgiving her own sin HERSELF. That would be like following slavery…refusing to admit she’s forgiven & insisting on carrying the burden as punishment to herself. In contrast, the way of choosing freedom, is to BELIEVE God has forgiven you when you ask for forgivness & not bring it up again. (I’ve been so quilty of this many times in my life) And believe you are forgiven FOREVER because Christ died on the cross so we can be forgiven of our sins. Bringing up our sins over & over to God is insulting to him because he gave his only son for us & we need to let God’s compassion & mercy cover us. Satan will tempt me to go into my past & keep bringing up my sins over & over & it’s a constant struggle to keep reminding myself that I am already forgiven & don’t need to keep asking for forgivness. This is honoring to God. I love what Judy’s mom said to her as a child….”If God has forgotten your sin, why in the world do you want to get up & remind him about it every morning?” !!! Love that!!!!
Thank you for your prayers, and you replied with alot of wisdom to this question.
I have had to learn everything I know about computors on my own & I have to admit that I don’t know how to paragraph my comments! I’m 61 tomarrow so My excuse is my age!! ( Girls, I happen to remember from a few years ago on Dee’s web page, that it is her birthday on August 22nd I believe! } Is that the right date, Dee? Sorry!!!
And one other thing! I’m praying for Julie going into labor soon with her 6th baby at age 40! Wow! I was 38 when Kendra was born & I thought that was really getting up there! My prayers go out to her, Dee. Let us know when it happens!!
Thanks so much, Joyce. I admit I’m nervous about this one, and keep giving it to the Lord — and taking it back! Appreciate your prayers.
Happy Birthday Joyce! I didn’t know it was your birthday until I logged off then logged on to my e-mail account and saw the awesome happy birthdays. 🙂 Have a great day today!
5. As I pondered this question, a scene from the movie The DaVinci Code kept playing in my mind. The monk was practicing self-flagellation. I think beating myself up for my sin is a form of spiritual self-flagellation. It is an indecent proposal because it puts the focus on myself and not on what Christ did. This results in giving the enemy a foothold because he would have us believe Christ’s death on the cross was not enough to pay for our sins.
Jesus said “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” I am to trust in Christ alone. I honor God because I am willing to bow to the authority of Christ and surrender my life to him.
A surrendered life produces the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, humility, and self-control.
4. I dishonor God when I do all the talking and I don’t give him a chance to speak to me. My biggest regret is that I can be stubborn. I wrote the following in my prayer journal this past Wednesday: Lord I want to lay down my stubborness and failure to heed your voice. These two bad fruits keep me from living the abundant life. They cause me to run ahead of you.
I’ve been waiting all week to let ya’ll know that I did not have to repair my minivan. My mother has gifted me with a car. It’s only three years old and is very reliable. The Lord totally surprised me with this. I wish I could give all of you a spin around the block.
Joyce, I thought of you when I read the following poem. I think it makes a fitting birthday gift for you. I hope you have a wonderful day.
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercies,
To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth and giveth and giveth again.
Annie Johnson Flint
Tammy, I love that poem. It really fits me & my situation & everyone else I’m sure. Thank you for that! I will keep it up where I can refect upon it often. I’m so thankful about your car! How wonderful!!
Happy Birthday, Joyce! I pray too for a special day.
Tammy — liked your illustration from DaVinci code.
That’s great news about the car, Tammy!
5. Using the above diagram, see if you can answer the questions in parenthesis.
THE WAY OF SLAVERY
Trust Christ but ALSO beat myself up to help pay for my sins
(Explain why this is an indecent proposal)
At the last supper, Jesus said “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you”. As a believer in Christ, I am in a covenantal relationship with Jesus Christ, and His Body, broken for me, and His Blood, shed for me, are the symbols of that covenant. It is an indecent proposal for me to think I can bring anything else into this covenental relationship between me and my Savior; He made the covenant, His blood sealed it, He sustains it forever.
My inability to forgive myself, punishing myself, living in a constant state of guilt is not a part of this covenant. All He requires of me is faith, and even that faith was initially a gift from God.
(Describe result)
No joy, no peace, no assurance, insecurity, instability, becoming useless for the kingdom of God.
THE WAY OF FREEDOM
(what must you trust alone?)
Trust only in the finished work of Jesus Christ.
(why is this honoring to God?)
Faith and trust pleases and honors Him. Surrendering to Him and being utterly dependent upon Him pleases Him.
(what fruit does this lead to?)
Trust, obedience, joy, peace, contentment, freedom to be who God created you to be.
Joyce, since it is 12:24 AM EST where I am, I am going to officially wish you
A VERY HAPPY, BLESSED BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a really special day and get to have a little time to put your feet up and do something you enjoy! (Sending you a birthday hug over the online waves, too!)
THE LONGING FOR THE DESIRES OF OUR HEART TO BE MET
5. When we face suffering – see if you can explain which path is honoring to God and which path is not. Explain also why the path that honors God leads to humility and freedom, and the indecent proposal leads to pride or anger.
In our suffering we must choose the path of freedom, which is to turn to God in our pain and pour out our heart to him. Over and over in the Psalms we studied, the psalmist does this. He does not take up his own cause, or try to solve his dilemma; instead he cries out to God for help. Even if we can’t understand the “why” something happened to us or someone we love, the path of freedom is trusting God and waiting on His promises, which may not be fulfilled in this life. Our continuing faith and trust in Him honors Him, and we are humble enough to admit we need help.
The indecent proposal, for example, if we make alot of promises to God and do our best and our prayers are answered, makes us think that we made God act on our behalf, and can lead to self-righteous pride, or, if the situation does not change, makes us angry with God and we become disillusioned and begin to question His character.
6. There are so many other applications, because living a Gospel-transformed life applies to much more than heaven. How might you apply this to your life?
There are so many issues that arise every day, every week, in my family. Issues in my marriage, issues between me and my children. Problems, arguments, worries, fears, miscommunication, the list goes on and on. Instead of immediately thinking “what can I do about his, or how can I protect my child…” or instead of picking up the phone to call a friend to talk about the problem or situation, why not choose the path of freedom first, which is to go to God in prayer and talk to Him about it? And get into the Word and ask Him to speak to me?
And to ask myself when I feel the burden of guilt and regret, “why are you living like the child of the slave woman when you are a child of the free woman?”
To guard myself against letting others put the yoke on me by blaming me for their choices, and also to guard against sinful attitudes that will enslave me, like unforgiveness, resentment, and bitterness.
Maybe to see that if I’m sitting in the jail cell, it’s my choosing, because the door is wide open and I am free to walk out. Jesus paid my way out.
Susan, I know what you mean about prayer seems to be the last resort for me. How many times have I responded with worry, anger or self pity when all I need to do is bring it to the Lord. He always fixes things so much better than I do. Lord, may these emotions be a red flag to us. A call to prayer.
Dee, I was contemplating the picture of your beautiful granddaughter, Katherine. What a picture of what our “inner life” should look like when we are walking the path of freedom. She is sleeping, her eyes closed, she has not a care; her every need will be met and taken care of. It reminds me of the psalm we studied about quieting our soul like a weaned child against his mother’s breast, and leaving the difficult things to God.
THE LONGING FOR THE DESIRES OF OUR HEART TO BE MET
5. It is honoring to God to put our suffering in His hands, to trust in His wisdom and grace for it. The path of trying to figure out ‘why’ we have to suffer and to try to resolve it our way is the path that isn’t honoring to God.
The path that Honors God leads to humility and Freedom because God is trustworthy-we don’t have to carry it and try to fix it when we can’t-like beating our heads against a wall. He frees us from that bondage and brings us His peace in the midst of the struggle because the reality is that He has a reason for it and we don’t have to know because we can rest in His perfect,loving and omniscient character.
The “indecent proposal” leads to pride or anger because we are striving and enacting our plans and not waiting and trusting in God’s wisdom, but ours. Our plans will fail and the consequence of taking control leads to a bad outcome. Frustration and anger will arise which is the polar opposite of having His peace.
6. There are so many other applications, because living a Gospel-transformed life applies to much more than heaven. How might you apply this to your life?
God is using this study in different ares in my life, but one that sticks out now is how God is working on an area where both my husband and I have tried to take control in the past but I see a shift of us trusting God with it.
Lately God has blocked our efforts to achieve a goal we think is crucial to achieve very soon in this uncertain economic situation in America. The fact that God has blocked our efforts is really cool!
Instead of allowing our plan to be put into motion, he has blocked it from every angle we have gone at. He is showing us that He knows what is best for us in the current climate and even though it is good to plan for what might be coming down the pike, we need to trust God’s wisdom and leading us in it. We make our plans but he directs our steps.
Even though the mountain seems high if our plan doesn’t work, I am not worried one iota, and I am able to encourage my husband in that way too. God has taught me this week through Abraham and Sarah’s life to really be watchful of me trying to force my plans into place when God is clearly shutting doors.
One of the red flags God gives me to let me know when I am trusting in myself is when I start getting that closed in a box feeling where I can’t relax and rest in God, I try to push it open myself. Whenever that starts, God whispers to me that it is o.k. He is in control and to let go and wait on Him.
God’s shut doors may not make sense to me but they are evidence of His great care and love for our family. I am learning to love those shut doors knowing God is saying, “Wait on me, I have a plan, I know the future, just rest in me”.
I am telling you, I laugh when I look at the reality of my puny, little plans thinking I know what is best.. I mean compared to the majesty, the richness, the 100% perfection of God.. The one who created the universe, who designed our minds to think, who is omnipotent and powerful, who is all-knowing, yet is intimate with me-every detail of my life-who is perfect in love-He died for me-He is perfect in everything He does. He set up the perfect economic system!! Our problem in America is that we don’t follow his system and that is why it is falling apart. 🙂 My husband just came in from work, so I need to stop here!
Love to you all-have a great weekend.
Ok ladies, I had to pop on here to tell you this.. kind of a follow up to what I said earlier..Here I am by His grace-not me really, trusting Him right now for this big decision, yet God has shown me I am worrying over something ridiculous that might not even happen in another area of my life. YIKES! My heart is so deceitful, who can know it except Jesus! 🙂
I am jumping on again with some prayer requests before I go to my dads to visit. If you would be so kind as to pray for these today that would be so awesome!!
#1. My dad doesn’t know the Lord. I don’t know how God is working in his life, but I know He is through various things my dad has told me lately. Pray for my time with him. I am leaving in about 15 minutes.
Rebecca, I’m praying for your visit with your dad. How precious he is to you. May you plant some seeds of love from the Lord with him to ponder & may he one day give his heart to the Lord.
I’m having a great birthday, thank you so much! Around midnight last night I was on this blog & in walked my daughter, Kyla & her husband! They drove straight from Cheyenne…5 hours to be with me on my birthday! I haven’t seen them since February, so it’s been great! Thanks so much for all your birthday wishes! Love to all!
What a wonderful birthday surprise! Sweet Kyla!
Joyce, how cool is that?!? What a great surprise!!! :0)
Joyce,
God answered your prayer before you prayed it!!
We had a great two hour conversation mostly about God. It happened naturally. His heart seems to be getting softer, and your comment about praying that God would sow seeds of His love is right on. That is what the subject was when my dad told me he doesn’t think God wants us to worship him every minute of the day because that would show God is too vain.
That was an open door to be honest with him and give testimony of a holy God loving me so much he paid the sin debt I owed..I went into more detail, but the bottom line is that I told him I want to worship God because He loves me and because he loves me so much, I love him so much so he doesn’t have to demand it of me, and I told him that even when I mess up, which I do a lot, he won’t shun me, but instead he picks me up and counsels me-the perfect counselor. I am praying that seed stuck. My dad is stuck on his upbringing of his parents forcing him to go to church and then at home they didn’t live the life. He called them hypocrits. His mom was very critical of him, so he has struggled with relating Christianity perhaps to people who said they were Christians but weren’t.
He has come from being an atheist to where he is at now. Now he believes in God and said he prays every day, but he still won’t believe that scripture is the word of God. He kept asking me why did God needed to create all of this. He had some great questions.
I forgot that I did give him a bible a long time ago. He never read it. I also gave him Lee Strobel’s the case for Christ which he didn’t read. I am thinking of giving him an mp3 player with Tommy Nelson-pastor of Denton Bible Church’s series on the depravity of man. I think my dad might like Tommy’s style of preaching and the way he teaches. I have to be careful not to try to take the reigns and think I can pile on a bunch of books and he will read it and give his life to Jesus.. It doesn’t hurt to give him this stuff, but it is in God’s hands.
I need to pray my dad would open up that bible and read it. He has a lot of health problems. He is 72 years old. It is by the grace of God that he is still here and he does admit that the doctors have said he should be dead and it is a miracle he is alive. I believe God is graciously giving him time. My heart aches for my dad.
Oh Rebecca, my heart aches for you too. I’ll keep praying. My mom & dad both came to know Jesus right before they died, in the hospital, 20 years apart. It’s never too late.
Sounds like you had a great birthday. Thinking of you.
I did! Thank you,Judy
So glad to be home. The beach was nice but by the end of the week I am always ready to come home.
I may be a little late but I also pray for your visit Rebecca. That the seeds planted in your visit today will bear fruit in his heart and mind.
I also wish you a very happy birthday Joyce. What a wonderful surprise gift from your daughter and her husband!
Also praying for your Julie, Dee. Is she high risk for any reason? How are Kathrine and Beth?
Thank you, Anne. Julie’s pregnancy has been unusual and they have some concern about baby’s heartbeat and she is 40. So — we pray! They will induce her Tuesday if she doesn’t go naturally.
Katherine and Mia and Sadie are all doing well! Thank you!
Yes, we pray.
Dee, will be praying for Julie. Keep us posted.
Thank you, Anne! Yes, I’m praying for Julie & their sweet baby girl
I will post a new “love story” tomorrow night — so eager to hear what other thoughts you have on this one.
4.I have so very many regrets. I have been unwise in so many areas of my life. Too many to list here. I look back and see that many are like snowballs that have become huge as they roll down through the years. I look at them and despair. So what I am learning here is that I am indeed powerless and if I am waiting for myself to change things, I will wait for eternity. God wants me to bring them to Him which I have and do. But as you said Dee, I keep taking them back. Every time I despair I go the way of the slave. I think the greatest sin in my life is prayerlessness. It has become a stronghold. If anyone remembers the book I spoke of about prayer that I was so gung ho to do, it has gone completely by the wayside. If I get up early, I can’t stay awake or I get distracted. The odd thing is that I love to pray. I am completely undisciplined and I have taught that to my children. Sooo…here it is God. I want to experience what You want to do in my life and in the lives around me. I want to wear the shoes of the gospel of peace, carrying it to every place that I go. I desire to know what You want to do in the world around be and to be diligent in prayer for those things. I want to see the earth moved by Your power! Help me not to fear but to believe. Please forgive me for dishonoring You by living in bondage when You have completely paid the price to set me free. Amen
Anne, thanks so much for sharing I can certainly relate. For me I can add to that in regard to the issue of people pleasing. I tend to always go over how I behaved or what I said when I was with people and then assume they think I am a complete idiot, dork or anything else negative. I have put myself in bondage to this as the Lord has revealed to me today. It is a stronghold. I am not sure it is guilt but it is a form of slavery.
I also do that. I am glad you called it what it is…slavery. It has me tied up in knots at times but I am beginning to recognize where it comes from.
Anne, I am recognizing it now too and it was brought about by God via this study.. I really want to put it off asap, but I know it is going to be a process.
Also, I struggle with the balance of appreciating others’ uniqueness yet being free to be who God made me. Putting aside what I want to do which is get into what God is teaching me, for the sake of someone else who may not be comfortable in a group setting getting into deeper spiritual conversations. That is hard when I am in a setting with other believers. I look forward to fellowshipping and assume everyone desires to really fellowship in the Lord when they gather and that isn’t always true. I am NOT elevating myself by any means when I say that.. It is something God has given me the longing for with my brothers and sisters.
Anne, I can also so relate to this. Prayer is at times such hard work, and it’s hard to keep your mind focused and keep out the distractions. I too struggle with prayerlessness. I have had to fight a wrong way of thinking since I lost my nephew, and that is the feeling of resignation, that if something is going to happen, there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I guess it’s kind of a fatalistic way of looking at life, and I know it’s not right thinking and it keeps me from praying and asking God for help.
I pray this with you, Anne. Amen
5. The two paths when you face troubles and suffering. The most painful problems I have faced in life involve loss and grief. My husband’s death, my son’s death and my mother’s death were all painful. I knew beyond a doubt that all three of them were sincere Christians. My mother made separating from her easy because she had a few weeks to prepare my father,my sister and I. She told us she was excited beyond belief that she was going to go and be with Jesus, she said it was the most exciting trip she would ever take. She was conscious and able to talk up to an hour before her death and was thinking about us rather than herself.My son died in an accident and there was no time to prepare. He had told me only days before he died that he felt that people died when they had completed the tasks God put them here to do and than there was no more reason to be here and God would take you home. I didn’t even think of that at first. Frank was a boy who used to climb up in his tree house when he was a kid and read the Bible, was always involved in church and had great compassion for others. I was very angry with God when he died. I was angry with my husband because he wasn’t angry and I was angry with the world that it didn’t stop. I didn’t stop speaking to God but I raged and told Him all my anger. After two years of raging I finally said,” I don’t know why Frank died and I may never know but the pain I suffered is too great not to be used. Please take this pain and let it work for good.” That is when I returned to school and eventually ended up as a counselor specializing in grief cases. I also realized that Frank’s death was the first thing in my life that I really couldn’t control. I wish I could say that I immediately turned control over to God but it was a hard fought battle and I had to do it again and again. I have, however, seen the powerful way God has used Frank’s death. I will never be anything but sad that he died but I have stood in awe at what God has accomplished and my life eventually was happy again. My husband and I had a wonderful marriage, not that we always agreed but we had always been best friends as well as husband and wife and as I have said been in one anothers lives since fourth grade. When he died in Jan.,again a sudden death, I knew that I couldn’t do this by myself and I knew I wouldn’t have to. It’s been tough but I can say when I keep my eyes focused on Jesus I am okay. When I try to take control I can feel myself start to sink. I think the two ways are my way or God’s way. I think as long as we are on the earth we will be tempted to try our way from time to time.
Sometimes it is very clear what God’s way is and sometimes not so much. This is when things get difficult. We can pray, ask others to pray, it’s hard to pray for yourself sometimes,try to look at what is right, but we are sometimes going to make mistakes. This is exactly why we need Jesus. I just try to keep in mind God knows me better than I know myself and he will someday take me to be with Him and heal all of my brokeness.
That’s so good, Judy, your prayer of “please take this pain and let it work for good”. It sure sounds like God answered that prayer in your life.
Judy, thank you for sharing your suffering with us because it helps me to see what God can do in our lives when you have to go through so much pain. God is using you to help others through your counceling & in this study & through everyone you met, because I can feel God’s love shining through you, even right here on this computor. You have so much to offer ones going through difficult times.
I love what you said “When I try to take control I can feel myself start to sink. I think the two ways are my way or God’s way.” I stuggle with that too. Praying for you!
My daughter showed me how to paragraph sentences on here! Yeh!
Judy, somehow I missed this post until now. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am sorry for all that you have been through but what a testimony to God’s faithfulness to walk with us through our pain and bring us through whole. Something that stands out to me is that you continued to talk to God through your anger with Him. I am convinced that this is the healthiest thing we can do. Is He surprised by my anger? I don’t think so.
Dee, You, Julie and the baby all are in my prayers.
Rebecca, I was heartened to read of your visit with your dad and of your conversation. The Holy Spirit IS working in your dad’s heart! I remember when I started to have spiritual conversations with my parents that would never have happened in the past. Just keep praying and making the most of every opportunity, which you are, and watch God work! I am praying for your dad, too!
Susan, thanks SOOOOOOO much!! You are right I know God is softening his heart. He has been bringing it up since I came to know Jesus back in 1988, but he would always try to get me to fit a stereotype by his questions and then misinterpret my answers.
The first thing he said back in 1988 was, “That religion sure has been good for you. You have really changed.” I explained every time he said it that it wasn’t a religion but a relationship and then God opened the door to share the gospel, but he was very resistant. I think back then being a new believer I talked about it all the time around him and then I stopped after a while when I found out his desire was to try to stump me with questions.
Every time we get together he says, “I was lucky, look how my three kids turned out compared to my sisters kids.” I told him that it is because of God’s intervention in our lives.
One thing that has totally shifted is that he doesn’t refer to it as a ‘religion’ anymore. YAAYY!! Yesterday he did say the bible is the same as Nostradamus-yikes! 🙂
Even though I told dad that while God doesn’t ‘need’ relationships with us, he ‘wants’ a relationship with us and that is why he created us, my dad still says when he dies he wants to ask God why he created everything and where did he come from. He was asking me all kinds of questions yesterday. I always carry my small bible in my purse and didn’t have it with me to share with him, so God brought some verses to mind, but I was hoping to show him in scripture so he might read the bible he has there somewhere.
I told him there is stuff we aren’t going to know but God has given us the bible, His thoughts-words to reveal who He is to us. When we see him face to face He will answer our questions.
When I left I felt condemned like I didn’t say enough, or perhaps said something the wrong way that he might twist- yet at the same time assured that God is in control of my dad’s heart, not me.
I put that request on here because I was assured you all will pray for him. ;p
Rebecca — It sounds like your love and your life are speaking to your dad. So often with family members, that is how it works. I’m proud of you and pray for your dad.
Dee, Thanks so much, and Amen! That is how God worked in my life through my oldest brother Jim.
I love the freedom of God’s assurance to you that your father’s salvation will not be lost if you did not say just the right thing or if he should twist what you say. I pray John 16:8-11 for your father. Lord send Your precious Holy Spirit to Rebecca’s father to convict about sin, righteousness and judgment. No matter what he tells himself may he not be able to explain away the truth that he will know in his heart by Your Spirit and the witness of Rebecca’s life and love. May he know Your great love today. Amen
Yes, Dear Jesus,I pray this also, Amen
Anne, Thanks! Yes indeed..God does it all because believe me when I was a new believer my dad heard A LOT whether he wanted to or not, and God worked through that despite me. 🙂
Praying for Julie as well, Dee, that God will oversee every detail of her pregnancy and delivery and her and the baby’s health.
Thanks so much, Susan.
I know I have shared some difficulties in my church relationship on this blog and I so appreciate the freedom to do that. I can be so childish sometimes. I feel like when I first realized that my parents were not perfect. Yes there are problems, serious problems, but God so used His church to speak into my family this morning.
My husband has not been to church in months because of his work schedule and I can see him drifting. There are problems looming large in his relationship with our sons. Well today he was off on the tail end of our vacation and he came to church. Our sermon was on the 5th commandment and it was awesome. God entered my family this morning with all of His awesome power! I can’t do this but He can…remind me please when I begin to despair again. When it is available I will share the link.
Anne, I will pray for you today and praise God at the same time for what He is doing in your life and your families life at your church.
Lord, thank you for Anne and the humility you have given her that shines so brightly on this blog. It is always an encouraging nudge to me and I just appreciate her honesty so much and how you have given her so much depth into your word. I know you are going to continue to use this struggle in her church to grow her and her family to build her faith. also to create in her longsuffering toward others. Thank you Lord for how you kissed her today by showing her you love her and you are taking care of her family. I pray for her church that you would work in their hearts to desire to work out any conflicts or problems so that the gospel wouldn’t be hindered there. Bring the body together Lord for your glory.
Rebecca, thank you for your prayer (especially for the church, it is so good) and thank You Lord for Your reminder that You are faithful, for Your kiss. Amen
5. When we face suffering – see if you can explain which path is honoring to God and which path is not. Explain also why the path that honors God leads to humility & freedom & the “indecent proposal” leads to pride or anger.
I think I’m like most people when we face suffering. I plead with God, beg him, start making promises, anything to avoid the worst. We don’t know the “big picture” of how God is working in our lives & we want to controll what happens to us.
It’s so hard to just “let go & let God”, because the suffering we’re going through hurts so bad. But if we can “let God”, it honors him & does lead to humility & freedom & submission. We HAVE TO TRUST GOD, it’s crucial for our well being.
If we resist & pull away from him, anger & pride will come in place. Soon we are miserable, because any separation from God is painful….because in the end, we only have God….no one else or anything can help us.
I haven’t had loses like Dee & Judy losing their husbands & especially a child, or like Susan losing her nephew…those are the worst I can imagine. But I lost my parents & some friends & relatives & when Kendra was born my husband then left me, alone to raise three little ones. I cried to God & he lifted me up & set my feet squarly on the ground & showed me how much he loved me.
I was experiencing the loss of a “normal baby” & the loss of my husband, but he loved us so & provided me with a good job & so much love & support from the church & christian friends, it changed my life forever.
The Lord provided a much better daddy for my kids anyway four years later, with my husband now of 20 years. But as I get older, I worry so much about Kendra’s life after we can no longer take care of her. My son & daughter say they will take care of her & to not worry, but I don’t want Kendra to be a burden to them. they will have their own families by then.
I keep giving it over to the Lord & “taking it back”, over & over too. But, I know God has a plan for Kendra, because he loves her so.
I’ve gone on & on too much! Thanks for listening! I’m looking forward to next week’s study!
Joyce,
Wow, I can’t imagine going through what you have been through, just like I can’t imagine going through a loss like Dee,Judy and Susan. I just found out a young couple at the new church we have been attending just lost their new born girl. She was born with an extreme form of dwarfism. She was only two weeks old. The docs said she probably wouldn’t live for two hours but God gave them two weeks with her. I can’t fathom that. I just can’t grasp how a parent can make it through that. It amazes me what God takes us each through in his timing in each of our lives.. Some similar yet so unique. I appreciate your honesty Joyce!
Joyce, that was a painful loss you endured, to lose your husband and to be abandoned after Kendra was born, and I admire your strength and the way you made it through with God making a way for you!
Joyce, You have been through a lot and I can certainly understand your worry about your daughter. But He provided her with a wonderful mother and I think He will continue to provide for her. God has given you a lot of strength to bring you through these problems and I will pray that He continues to provide that strength and assurance that He loves Kendra and will take care of her even if you are not here.
5/6. In my particular kind of suffering I have found the path of surrender to be the path which honors God. As I’ve shared before, I have been walking this path for quite a while. The walking is easier now than it was at the beginning. When I first surrendered I didn’t realize at first just how hard it would be to live what Jesus was calling me to do.
I’ve been wanting to share this for quite a while and now seems to be the right time. Back in 2008 when I began proceedings to have my marriage annulled, I told my (now ex) husband we had to separate, one of us had to leave the house and it wasn’t going to be me (my pastor and his wife were with me when I told him this). My plan was to leave at the end of the month because one of the couples at church had offered me a place to stay until I could get my own place. Well, after my husband moved out, he called one afternoon and told me not to leave the house he would continue to pay the rent. I told him I would not let him go hungry. He rents a room from a former co-worker who had to quit work because of health reasons. For the last twenty three months he has been hoping I would change my mind and remarry him. I have told him I can’t marry him because he’s not a Christian. I’ve already had a fourteen year preview of what the rest of my life would look like and I was not going back to an abusive relationship. That would be insane.
For the last twenty three months I have been making sure my ex gets fed and God has used that to humble me. Most people go their separate ways after the end of a marriage. My ex does not want to let go and move on. Having regular contact with the person who caused me the most excruciating pain I have ever felt has led me to live out the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount: “…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you…” Paul wrote in Romans 12 “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink; for in doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head”. There was a point in the beginning where I had to make up my mind to be obedient to what Christ was calling me to do which was be kind to my ex. Every time I wanted to stop, his Spirit would bring these scriptures to mind. My being kind has not changed him, it has changed me.
Walking the path of surrender has enabled me to live in the freedom of forgivenss and keep myself out of the prison of bitterness. Oh, there are times the enemy tries to get his toe in the door of my heart. I recently struggled with resentment, recognized what was going on and ran to the Lord for help. I found out one cannot fight resentment in human strength.
This morning at church, Women’s Ministry held its annual Celebrate Women Breakfast. The speaker’s topic was Absolute Surrender. Key scripture was Luke 18:22. I thought of all of you as I listened and wished you could have sat with me at my table.
I can’t tell you all enough how much I appreciate your posts from this study. I have been waiting since Friday to have the opportunity to sit down and answer the remaining questions. Like Joyce I’m looking forward to the next study.
Dee, I pray that all will go well with Julie’s delivery.